So I get back from the first run to the new place, prepared to finally attempt to finalize my final thoughts on the "cancellation" of the "Dusty and Steve Show". I fire up iTunes, on random shuffle, and the first song ...
"Although we've come,
To the End of the Road!
Still I Can't Let Go!
It's Unnatural ..."
And at first, I flashed back to the greatest "OC" episode ever, The Rainy Day Women, of which this song was a prominent part.
And then I realized "Stevo, this is it. (sigh) Its over".
I somehow imagined the final night would end differently than what it has. I had visions of a final couch session, or a final night on the deck. Some tears, some booze, some green, good times! Instead ... its just me. At a computer. With the ever-present frosty cold Coors Light. Probably fitting.
There's so much about this move that pisses me off. There's so much about the last two plus years, the entire "show", that pisses me off, that I've lost track of what the latest pisser was.
But at the end of the day, you have to step back, and ask yourself this:
Was it worth it?
So ... in all honesty, I really struggled how to sum up how to state how I feel.
And ultimately, I can't arrive at any other conclusion than ...
Yes. Yes it was.
(vice president joe biden voice) Thanks, Champ.
From the first moments this "show" was hatched, at the incredible Ben Harper concert in the monsoon in August 2006. To the final acts being played out tomorrow. Thanks.
There's a lot I want to say, but I'm not going to say it on a blog. It needs to be conveyed mano y mano. Perhaps on my new deck. With my new apartment's namesake in hand. Or yours, wherever life takes you to next.
You know that I always put my feelings into music, because that's just how I roll. And the only thing I could even remotely find that conveyed how I feel at this point ... (and trust me champ, I searched for a friggin week for something ...) is from the "Home Improvement" finale. (Dammit Stevo! Put down the remote! Man, I'm gonna miss the "Dammit Stevo" blasts ...)
Anyways. Its truly how I feel. Despite it all. From the frustrations from day one, to the irritations at the end ... in the words of the great Kenny Rogers:
(the best I could find on youtube!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HLhbrvotXE Its the words I'm trying to convey here ...)
"Its hard to say goodbye --
You're much more than a friend.
When good times become memories,
They never really end ...
Like ancient rights of passage,
Its time to carry on --
We caught lighting in a bottle,
As we went along ...
We've got it all.
Wouldn't change a minute!
We've got it all.
Never will forget it!
As years go slipping past us,
You know we will recall,
These times we've found together ...
We've got it all.
Long goodbyes never suited you and me,
You know if God is willing,
We'll go on eternity ...
We've got it all ..."
DJ ... I love ya man. Hold your head up, champ. I'll always have your back, man.
I'll always remember the couch cessions. Watching "Lost" with you and "the wife". The Halloween costume with you and the wife, just thinking about the outfits will always make me laugh out loud. Seriously, that night was probably the happiest I ever saw you in the two years I was here. Good for you! (And the wife).
I hope, I pray ... that you find that happiness, that joy, again. For longer than just a night. For much longer than just a night.
But man ... I will miss this place.
Thankfully, I won't have to miss you. You're a couple left turns down the hall still, through the elevator lobby, in front of the Pontiac Room I've been camped out in lately with the good folks in corporate for the last week ...
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