Wednesday, January 25, 2012

sotu 2012: stevo reacts

“You can fool some of the people some of the time, and most of the people most of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time” – Abraham Lincoln.

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If President Obama was going to use a Lincoln reference in last night’s embarrassing, pathetic, vomit-inducing State of the Union speech, that’s the Lincoln reference he should have used.

I sat like a slack-jawed yokel for at least 55 of the approximately 70 minutes the President took up last night, amazed at his incredible ability to simply ignore reality and lie to the masses. Honestly, Bill Clinton had to be somewhere with the same slack-jawed yokel look on his face. “Really? They attempt to impeach me for lying less brazenly than this guy did?!?!” If I wasn’t a political junkie, I probably would have turned the channel. Instead, I dealt with the absolute horseshit on my television screen in true Stevo-style: I cracked open a Budweiser ... then threw the empty can across the room at the flat screen.

Sadly for the President, the can(s) failed to destroy my TV, so I won’t be contributing to this “economic recovery” tonight via a new electronics purchase. But I am putting my $.02 out there, via my thoughts on the most disgraceful Presidential address ever delivered to a joint session of Congress.

And that’s CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN BABY!!! (rimshot!!!)

Here then are a few random thoughts I have regarding what hopefully is the rock-bottom moment of the most wasted administration in history ...

* I watched MSNBC leading up to the speech, because (a) despite my feelings about this asshat currently occupying the Oval Office, I still believe in “the cause” (aka “I’m a liberal”), and (b) Chris Matthews is every bit as unhinged about this administration as I am. Again, you can fool some people, and most people, but not all people. Anyone with a functioning brain and a IQ level of over 35 saw this trainwreck of an administration coming four f*cking years ago. It’s why we backed Hillary, and voted McCain, no matter which side of the aisle you reside on politically. If you were a Democrat? McCain was an acceptable alternative, someone who wouldn’t embarrass himself or his nation, or make you think “sweet Jesus, I need to make sure my passport is current, its time to move to Mexico!!!” And if you were a Republican? The same applied to Hillary.

Last night? Was EXACTLY why we felt the way we did in 2008. Because the ONLY achievements this President has to tout? Are all related to foreign policy. Who runs his foreign policy? Hillary. (And Leon Panetta, a loyal Hillary supporter and Clinton administration staffer). What does it say that the ONLY thing you can justify your re-election on, is what your primary rival has done for you?

* Also, I watch MSNBC ... because the other hosts are ready to lynch Reverend Al. The hatred they all have for him is hysterical. Lawrence O’Donnell doesn’t even bother with the “Reverend” anymore, he just derisively calls him “Al”, or sarcastically calls him “Sharpy”. Ed Schultz looked ready to reach across two anchors and a desk and strangle Reverend Al. And poor Rachel Maddow. In the interest of full disclosure, I love Rachel Maddow. But not even she can referee this trainwreck of a broadcast.

(My way of saying: only seven months to the conventions!!! (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!)

* There were a few highlights on the night, as embarrassing as the spectacle was, and the first one I know MSNBC caught. (I didn’t flip down to CNN, CSPAN, or Faux News ... excuse me, FOX News, even once. I did switch to ABC once the speech began, because they’re pretty much the last unbiased network left on our airwaves.) And the first highlight was when Rep. Giffords took her seat on near the front of the chamber. Both sides of the aisle stood and applauded as one ... and in a sincere display of class, dignity, and bi-partisanship, Majority Leader Cantor walked over and extended warm greetings to Rep. Giffords. There’s a time and a place to have your differences. This wasn’t one of them, and kudos to Rep. Cantor for his class.

* Not sure whose fake tan was worse, Vice President Biden or Speaker Boehner. They both clearly went for the spray-on.

* The second highlight: when the House Speaker at Arms introduced the President. I don’t care who the President is, and God knows I haven’t cared for anyone we’ve elected in this century ... that moment gives me chills, because for however long it takes for the President to meet-n-greet and reach the podium, and then the Speaker officially introduces said President to the assembled, it’s America at it’s finest – every elected and appointed officer of government in the House giving the President the respect he is deserved. That moment never fails to uplift me.

* Cheap intended campaign stunt that didn’t bother me: the President spending a few moments with Rep. Giffords. It looked genuine. And I believe that it was. Whatever I may think of this President, and I don’t think much of him, he is a decent person, and he deserves respect for that. (Funny, I used to type that EXACT SAME SENTENCE about the man who preceded him in the office.)

* I’d love to have known what Obama and Boehner and Biden were chuckling about as Obama delivered the printed copies of the speech to them. Sidetrack here for a second: how great would it have been if Biden was Clinton’s VP, with Gingrich up there to boot? You KNOW they’d be ogling every decent looking chick in the audience. “What’s her “reputable singles site” handle?” “Oh you got it! Sweet! IM it to me!” Yeah, I miss the Clinton years sometimes.

* OK let’s do this.

Right off the bat, he begins with a lie of epic proportions, that he “ended the Iraq war”. No sir, you did not. OK, technically you did ... but the “end” of the war was locked into place BEFORE YOU SOUGHT THE NOMINATION, let alone won the office.

And while I’m at it ... look it, you will find no bigger basher of W than me, but to not credit his predecessor in ANY way, shape or form last night, was DISGRACEFUL. Even President Clinton to this day credits his predecessor, George H. W. Bush, for getting the economic recovery underway with the 1990 budget, and Clinton never fails to credit his successor when the occasion calls for it. And NOBODY will ever accuse President Clinton of operating with “class” or “dignity” or “integrity”. Barry not pointing out that we achieved success in Iraq because W refused to allow us to fail, and doubled down with General Petraeus, is a disgrace that I wish SOMEONE besides me would call him on.

* “For the first time in two decades, osama bin ladin is not a threat to this country”. I don’t know what angered me more – that Republicans REFUSED as one to stand up and give this line the applause line of the night ... or that Obama thought so little of the achievement that the ONLY major reference of it was in the second paragraph of his speech? Either way, its tasteless.

* Obama fudging the job numbers. Correctly notes that we lost 4 million jobs in 2008, another 4 million in 2009. But hey, we created 3 million since then!

Uuh, Barry? That’s a NEGATIVE five million! Which, if you exchange “million” for “trillion”, is the EXACT amount of money you’ve run up in national debt to “accomplish” that! Christ, what an idiot.

* I get that my side (stupidly) strongly backs union labor ... but who in God’s name thinks resurrecting long-gone manufacturing jobs is going to solve our economic crisis? Well Obama does, for one, which is example 1,938,563,684 why he’s the most incompetent boob to ever hold the Oval Office. La de f*cking da, that Master Lock is “restoring manufacturing jobs”. Manufacturing is a DYING industry. ANY company that invests in it is as mentally retarded as Peter’s horse on “Family Guy”. That, or they’re searching desperately for a tax write-off via operating losses.

* One thing I will praise the President on: it is OUTRAGEOUS that companies that operate in America can shift jobs and profits overseas to “save” money. OUTRAGEOUS. Set aside the tax implications – its OUTRAGEOUS from a patriotic standpoint.

One thing I wish President Obama would do is NAME these piece of shit corporations, OUT THEM, SHAME THEM into doing the right thing by their country. I know Barry won’t do it, because any corporation is a potential donor after all. But he SHOULD.

If, you know, he gave a damn about the present or the future of the country.

* One thing I did like about the speech last night – the CONSTANT gambling references! “We bet on”, “we rolled the dice on”, “we doubled down on”. Yes. Like Meg Ryan said in “Sleepless in Seattle”, “YES! YES!! YES!!!!!”

* I actually strongly support Obama’s idea to link corporations to community colleges for job retraining. This is a very good idea. Too bad Barry will refuse to allow any non-union company to take advantage of it, or any conservatively run company.

* Hate, hate, HATE the “keep kids in school mandatorily until they’re 18” idea. Who does Barry think he is, Chairman Obama? Oh. Wait. (Well, it is a legitimate question.) No. This is an IDIOTIC idea. We live in America. If you want to piss your life away by dropping out of high school, you have the right to do so! Or, if like a good friend of mine, you decide high school is worthless, so you take the tests to graduate early and move on to college, GREAT! Age is just a number. Some 16 year olds are ready for what lies after high school, just like some 37 year olds act like some 35 years younger than them. What can I say, shit happens.

* Obama claiming to take on illegal immigration is almost as laughable as me taking on alcoholism. And I’ll leave it at that.

Well no, I won’t, because most everything he supported last night to address the problem I agree with, not the least of which is education for children of illegals ... but seriously Barry? You’re “dealing” with illegal immgration? How’s that “Fast and Furious” gun trade program working out?

* OK, I agree with investing in newer “green” energies, and I STRONGLY support ending ANY and ALL federal subsidies for oil and gas exploration ... but really Barack? You’re doubling down on Solyndra? That’s priceless.

* And wait – we can now explore / build / create “new green energies” on national land ... YET WE CAN’T DRILL IN ANWR?!?!?!?!?! My head hurts. ANWR is a sheet of ice that NOONE lives in, will NEVER live in, and that offers up to 140 million barrels of oil a day to be delivered. Yet we CAN’T drill there, but CAN create massive wind turbines in Yellowstone National Park?!?!?!?!?!?!

Then again, given that Obama just refused the Keystone Pipeline, which only would have sent billions of barrels of oil to the United States, created thousands of new jobs, all at NO COST to us? I’d expect nothing less from the biggest fraud to ever call 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue home.

* I’m fine with letting people refinance their homes. You get no sympathy for greedy bankers from me. I live in a part of town DEVASTATED by people simply trying to live the dream, only to see it implode on them when shitty loans and a crappy job market blew up in their face. You get NO sympathy for lending institutions from me.

* Obama claiming to reign in regulation is almost as hysterical as me claiming “50+!!!” partners on “reputable singles site”. Come on. Nobody’s buying it Barry. NOBODY.

* The tax hike Barry wants to prevent? Is the expiration of the repeal on the payroll tax. The payroll tax? FUNDS SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE!!! I swear to Christ, this man drives me bat shit crazy. How can you be SERIOUS about reforming entitlements when you DON’T WANT TO FUND THEM?!?!

I said this a year ago, and I stand behind it even more strongly today: Barack Obama has SINGLE HANDEDLY ensured the Democrats will not win the White House again until I am 55 ... and won’t hold a house of Congress after 2012 until at least 2020. He’s WORSE than Jimmy Carter (who screwed the Dems for 12 years, and if Clinton hadn’t been in the perfect place at the perfect time, would have for 28 years).

* This Buffett tax crap is just that – CRAP. Buffett (and Mitt Romney) make ALL their income off investments. Investments are taxed at 15% because ONLY RETIREES TEND TO LIVE OFF INVESTMENT INCOME!!! So to screw Warren Buffett or Mitt Romney, you want to screw MILLIONS of other Americans as a result?

Christ, does ANYONE in the Obama regime understand Basic Living 101? Look it, in the interest of full disclosure, I STRONGLY favor a national flat tax, in which ALL income is taxed at the same percentage, REGARDLESS of income. I think 15% is a fair percentage. If you earn 15,000, you pay 2,250. If you earn 60,000? You pay 7,500. If you earn a million? You pay 150,000. Its the way to go (along with a national VAT or sales tax). But until we reach that point, degrading people who PLAY BY THE RULES is PATHETIC. It is DISGRACEFUL. As was nearly 99% of Obama’s speech last night.

* “I’m a Democrat. But I believe what Republican Abraham Lincoln said. That government should only do for people what they cannot do better by themselves, and no more”. Yes, the President actually said that last night. Hang on, I’ll give you 90 some odd seconds to laugh your ass off at the utter ridiculousness of a socialist saying “government should stay out of your life”.

(cue “longest “jeopardy” theme song music theme ever ...)

Oh wait, it gets better! He “doubles down” on the previous sentence!

“The point is, we should all want a smaller, more effective government”. Really! Since when Mr. President? Since when?

* When earlier I noted he DIDN’T note his predecessor’s role in winning in Iraq, killing bin ladin, gaining international support opposing Iran, and inciting the wave of freedom currently engulfing the Middle East? I stand corrected! Barry DID mention them, by noting:

“One of my proudest possessions is the flag the SEAL team took with them on the mission to get bin ladin. On it are each of their names. Some may be Democrats. Some may be Republicans. But that doesn’t matter. Just like it didn’t matter the day I sat in the Situation Room, when I sat next to Bob Gates – a man who was George Bush’s defense secretary – and Hillary Clinton, a woman who ran against me for President”.

Well, how conciliatory and classy, Mr. President. They aren’t YOUR Defense and State Secretaries ... they’re “George Bush’s” and the “woman who ran against me”.

This isn’t my biggest bitch about Obama, but it’s close: God forbid you credit those who went before you! It’s ok to admit you aren’t the greatest bag of potato chips to ever be picked off the shelf, Barry. The American public (correctly) recognizes the AMAZING thing you authorized AND accomplished in killing osama bin ladin! Cue up any clip on Youtube!, especially the Phillies / Mets game that night, when (most of us) found out about the kill because 50,000 baseball fans start screaming “USA! USA! USA!” for ten straight minutes during a baseball game. We get it.

Having said that ... one thing I will eternally credit W for ... is that he NEVER blamed who came before him, and CONSTANTLY praised his predecessors when they earned it. He bit the bullet, and shared the credit. THAT’S what a leader is, sir. You? Are ANYTHING but that.

* “As long as we’re joined together in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, our future, is hopeful, and the State of our Union will only be strong. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America!”

At least he ended well.

Last night? Is why the Republicans are winning a potential 45 states and the District landslide in November. Because NO sane person bought a word that Barry said last night.

And more specifically, its about what he DIDN’T say. Namely ... if you pass through the Congress THE most landscape-changing piece of legislation of most Americans lifetimes, and you don’t give it more than a throw-away line halfway through the speech?

Then WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION?

Whatever you think of the Health Care Affordability Act ... it is THE most significant act to pass the Congress since the Civil Rights Act of 1965. And Obama simply gives it a throw away line.

(For what its worth, I agree with 85 some odd percent of the act. Its DEFINITELY a step in the RIGHT direction, capitalization of RIGHT (pun) intended.)

Which is why last night’s speech was so tasteless. Obama refused to take credit for his domestic successes. He stole credit for his foreign policy successes (of which he has MANY) from his predecessor, from his 2008 rival, and from the brave men and women who made his achievements possible.

And most damning of all, he’s rushing full speed ahead into the torpedo that Mitt Romney represents. I’m not a huge Romney fan – again, I back Gingrich.

But after three offical State of the Union addresses (and one unofficial) ... I find myself in the same exact spot I was four years ago at this time. And that spot is a two fold question:

1. Why would ANY sane person back this empty suit? And ...
2. Is there ANYONE in the Republican Party capable of beating this guy?

I have no answer for question 1. I FEAR I have no answer for question 2 ...

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