Wow, three straight days with a post? You'd think football season was coming around or something.
Oh.
As always ... ok, for the second time ever, these are "fake questions" by "real readers" of the blog. Wait, they are real readers, for the most part, probably shouldn't have put that in quotes ...
* "Is there anything you wish you could change about Kansas City?" -- Mona H, Raytown.
Well, actually, there is, now that you mention it. And its a big time pet peeve of mine.
Name the freaking freeways already!
I'm sure each freeway has some "official" name that has a sign and crap around it. But other than 69 through Overland Park (lamely named the "Overland Parkway"), what freaking freeway in this city has a name attached to it in a traffic report?
That's part of the beauty of Dallas, of Chicago, of LA. They all have names for their traffic nightmares.
I figure we have (at least) 10 stretches of freeway to name in this town. Nine of them are up for naming rights:
* I-35 on the Missouri side.
* I-35 on the Kansas side.
* US 69 on the Kansas side (the "Overland Parkway").
* I-435 around the city.
* I-470.
* I-635, both sides of the state line.
* Missouri 152.
* Kansas 7.
* Missouri 291.
All heavily traveled freeways that need a name.
But where you have to start is the 10th stretch, unnamed above. A stretch that the name so fits, it has to stick.
* I-70 in Missouri. Has to be "The Dred". Named after Dred Scott, of course, the abused, mistreated slave whose plight should taint the state of Missouri forever. But think about it. People on our side of the state / metro area "dred" heading east, because you have to go through Columbia (Jayhawk fans) and St. Louis (anyone with a brain). People on the other side of the state "dred" heading west, because you have to go through Columbia (Illini fans), and Kansas City (anyone hailing from the wannabe Chicago). And if you actually want to go to Columbia, well, most folks on either side of the state "dred" you.
Seriously, how has this not happened?
I-70 in Missouri is now known as "The Dred". Done and done. Next query.
* "This 300,001st ounce tailgate ... no sh*t? 300,001 ounces?" -- Ashley K, Shawnee.
According to the trained professionals ... ok, the friends with adding machines, I actually hit the mark last week Friday. So its a belated tailgate. But seriously, 300,000 ounces of booze in only 15 years of drinking. That's ... sweet Jesus, that's a serious health risk. That alone should mandate you show up!
* "How weird will it be to cheer a visiting player in two weeks"? -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Not half as weird as having you in "my" section for the foreseeable future. I just hope you have a comfortable pair of shoes. (joe biden voice) We don't sit in 132, pal.
Seriously, this is going to be ... uuh, insane? (arguably) THE two biggest Chiefs die-hards I know ... former roommates, best pals ... now sitting literally a couple rows apart? How could you NOT want to move down to 132 for games this year?
* "Did you see Scott Howard-Cooper's column on Brandon Jennings? Good stuff"! -- Drew K, Shawnee.
Yup. Almost as good as a chilled bottle of Relax Riesling and a Macanudo Maduro on a 72 degree July evening. Ooh! Speaking of "Riesling" ...
* "Can he do it? Can Todd Reesing win the Heisman"? -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
No. He can, however, go 11-3, win the Big XII North, earn a Big XII Title Game berth, win a Holiday Bowl over Cal, Oregon, or Arizona State (whoever's USC's first b*tch this fall), and position himself as a Day 3 NFL Draft pick if some team wises up to what the NFL will look like in 4 years. To say nothing of completely, for once and all, legitimizing Kansas Football for years to come. Which reminds me, I got this "inquiry" as well:
* "Is Todd Reesing the single most influential person to ever step foot on the University of Kansas' campus in the last 20 years"? -- Mark M, Lawrence.
* "I tell you, that Todd Riesling kid, is tougher than $2 steak night at the Sizzler. And I'm a biased OU fan dreading my quad-annual trip to Memorial Stadium this fall" -- Good Ol' JR, Norman, OK.
* "The KU girls ... puppies!" -- The King, Jerry Lawler, Memphis, TN.
* "They're stacked, man. Stacked"! -- Justin B, Olathe.
* "KU girls ... sweet Jesus. I'd so go back. For just one weekend. Just one f*cking weekend". -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
* "Hey! Focus on my question! Forget how insanely hot KU girls are! And how much more slutty, hot, and easily available they are than when you reached college 15 years ago! Todd Reesing! Guttiest guy I know! Is he the best thing to step foot on campus in the last 20 years! (towel snap!)" -- Mark M, Lawrence.
I can't believe I'm saying this ... yes. Yes. 1,000 times yes. Hell f*cking yes.
Name me one person who has had a bigger impact on that university in 20 years than Todd Reesing. Name just one.
Todd Reesing stepped into an impossible, almost gravestone worthy situation ... and has gone 20-6 as a starter. He's staring a 10-4, 11-3 season the face. He's the ONLY quarterback in KU history to take his school to back-to-back bowl games. He's got a damned good shot at being the starting QB in 2 BCS bowl games in 3 years. For a f*cking doormat of a program as recently as 5 years ago.
Todd gets my vote, "Coach". Although "you" have a legitimate argument, as does AD Lew Perkins. Moving on:
* "Really? Every weekend for, like, a decade? You can drink that much, play that much volleyball, and STILL make work on Monday in functional shape? How? How the hell is that possible"? -- Katie H, Lenexa.
Years of practice, chica. That, and the genetics of an alcoholic family.
* "So, this "Dusty should bring a change of clothes" comment. It WAS a joke, right? Right"? -- Kellie B, KC KS.
Absolutely. Nothing but harmless word play.
* "You're sure"? -- Dusty J, Independence.
Absolutely. Nothing but harmless word play.
* "So you have a sign in mind"? -- Russ H, Raytown.
Wouldn't have it any other way.
OK, lighting round:
* "Did Montoya deserve the penalty? (string of expletives) the Car of Tomorrow"! -- Gus B, Raytown.
Yes, he deserved it. It sucks, history would have ruled over the crap that happened, but he deserved it.
And yes, the Car of Tomorrow is a (string of expletives).
* "Favorite song of 2009 so far"? -- Jason H, Overland Park.
"Funny The Way It Is" by Dave Matthews band. Its the best song he's done since "The Space Between Us". Its the best CD they've put out since the duet deal with just him and Tim Reynolds at Luther College. Awesome, awesome, awesome stuff.
* "What day are you most anticipating next month"? -- Jenni G-R, Canton, IL.
Easy. August 15. Your return. Your family's return. Your brother triumphantly taking the field at Arrowhead. But best of all ... the day Time Warner gets kicked to the curb, and, well, I'll let another good friend take this answer home:
* "Finally! DirecTV! Has come back ... to Steve's Apartment! If you Smmmmmmmmm-elllllll ... what the Rock ... is Cooking"! -- The Rock, parts unknown.
I still want to know what the hell happened to our old "Smell What the Rock is Cooking" picture in the old kitchen.
* "A three part finale"! -- loyal readers, everywhere.
OK.
1. "You've hit the one year anniversary of the site. As your most loyal reader, fan, and friend ... what is your favorite post you've ever published"? -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
This one. No brainer.
2. "This is post 198. Do you have anything special planned for Post 200"? -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Maybe. I've got a few ideas floating in my head that have yet to materialize.
3. "We ARE doing trivia again between golf and bowling, right"? -- Damien J, Midtown.
Christ, I hope so.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
i come in praise of a missouri tiger ... gulp ...
(old school snl "jack perkins" voice) In case you've been living in a cave ...
You may have heard of a defensive coordinator named Jim Johnson. Former quarterback of your Missouri Tigers. Long time defensive guru of the Philadelphia Eagles, arguably the NFC's best team the last 10 years.
(The 2000s Eagles are so much like the 1990s Chiefs. 7 playoff berths in the first 9 years of the decade. Only one losing season. And zero championships ... so far. Like I noted in the "fake mailbag" a couple posts ago, they're my pick pre-training camp to win it all).
I never met Mr. Johnson, outside of any pleasantries exchanged at the Arrowhead Overlook the four times he brought his defenses in to town to play the Chiefs.
And as a result, I don't want this to be some sappy, post-death tribute that anyone and everyone will be posting over the next few days. I'm not an Eagles fan. At all.
Rather, I just want to focus on what might be one of his crowning achievements, at least in my eyes.
Forget the fact that his defense ... well, I'll let the Eagles official tribute article do the talking:
----------
From 2000-08, Johnson's units ranked second in the NFL in sacks (390), 3rd down efficiency (34.0%) and red zone touchdown percentage (43.9%), and fourth in fewest points allowed (17.7 per game). During his 10-year tenure in Philadelphia, the Eagles earned seven playoff berths, five trips to the NFC Championship game and one Super Bowl appearance (following the 2004 season).
As the Eagles' defensive chief, Johnson's defense has produced 26 Pro Bowl selections: Brian Dawkins (7), Troy Vincent (5), Jeremiah Trotter (4), Hugh Douglas (3), Lito Sheppard (2), Asante Samuel (1), Trent Cole (1), Michael Lewis (1), Corey Simon (1), and Bobby Taylor (1).
Four of his defensive assistants have gone on to successful careers with other NFL franchises: Steve Spagnuolo (head coach of the St. Louis Rams), John Harbaugh (head coach of the Baltimore Ravens), Ron Rivera (defensive coordinator of the San Diego Chargers) and Leslie Frazier (defensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings).
----------
Forget the obvious.
What stands out to me, is what only a Chiefs fan could focus on.
4-0.
Johnson's record as a defensive coordinator at Arrowhead.
And he never coached a down for the Kansas City Chiefs in that capacity.
One of the defeats, in early December of the lost 2001 rebuilding season, was perfectly understandable. The Eagles were on their way to the first of four straight AFC Title Game appearances (they would lose in St. Louis to the Rams 23-20). The Chiefs were going nowhere at 2-8. A predictable loss.
The other three? Arguably three of the most gut-wrenching defeats of the last 15 years. Because in all three, the Chiefs had the lead. In all three, Johnson made the adjustments. And stole victories from games he had no business winning.
Worse yet, as a Chiefs fan, all three defeats either kept the Chiefs out of the playoffs, or ended a playoff run:
* 1996: the least "painful" of the three. Johnson's Colts rolled into Arrowhead at 7-7, needing to win out to reach the playoffs for the third straight year. The Chiefs entered at 9-5, simply needing to hold serve at home to clinch a playoff berth.
Colts 24, Chiefs 19, on a brilliant goal to go stand with the game, and ultimately the postseason, on the line.
After another Indy win (over the Super Bowl bound Patriots) and another Chiefs loss (to the playing for nothing Bills), the math was simple. Colts in. Chiefs out.
* 1995: shockingly, this one didn't bug me near as much as the remaining defeat. And I do mean "shockingly". It is NO secret to anyone who reads this site, or knows me, that the 1995 Chiefs are my single favorite all time team. Ever. I have never loved a team, or rooted as hard for a team, as I did for that collection of overachievers. That team had 5 win talent, maybe 6 if they caught a break here or there. They went 13-3. They brought me more happiness and joy than any Chiefs team before or since in my lifetime.
They authored not one, not two, not three, but FOUR freaking miracles at home that season. Rallying from down 17-3 to the Giants with 4 minutes to play to win in overtime. Rallying from down 17-3 to the Raiders a week later to win on James Hasty's INT TD in overtime. Mark Collins scooping up the most unbelievable fumble in Chiefs history to win a Sunday nighter over the Oilers.
And of course, my favorite play in NFL history, set up by overcoming a 24-17 deficit with 1:08 to play:
(al) the rookie vanover
(frank) boy did he loft that one!
(al) he fields at the 14 yard line ...
(frank) uh oh!
(al) Vanover! Up past the 30!
(frank) he's gone
(al) Vanover is almost gone and now ... he ... is ... OFFICIALLY GONE!
(dan) NO FLAGS!
(frank) we've been talking about him all night!
(dan) NO FLAGS! THIS GAME'S OVER!
(note: Sweet Jesus, I have NEVER cried as much as the finish to a Chiefs game as I did that night. October 9, 1995. Until and unless the Chiefs reach a Super Bowl, I doubt I'll ever cry as much as I did that night in pure happiness and joy. I'm trying to figure out how to post the audio of Frank, Al and Dan's call. I'll figure this thing out eventually, the call is that freaking awesome. To say nothing of the 250 plus other huge plays I have downloaded on mp3 that should be relived and loved by Chiefs fans that read this ...)
To say nothing of rolling the donkeys in the snow at Real Mile High. Of going 8-0 in the division for the first time in franchise history. Of winning another incredible comeback game by the Bay, as the raiders became the first (and so far, only) team in post-merge NFL history to open 8-1 and not make the playoffs.
So yeah, I loved that team. 1995 Chiefs. Favorite of all time.
And Jim Johnson's brilliance (combined with lin elliott's ... uuh, what's the opposite of brilliance?) ended the dream season.
Colts 10, Chiefs 7.
The reason this defeat in the divisional playoffs doesn't bug me as much as Johnson's most amazing win at Arrowhead, is probably because I fully expected the Steelers to roll us the following Sunday. But Mr. Johnson denied me my one biggest unfulfilled fantasy in life (to attend an AFC Title Game at Arrowhead) with this win. And ended my favorite Chiefs season to boot.
(And yes, it scares me too that my "biggest unfulfilled fantasy in life" is an as-yet unplayed Chiefs game. You'd think a couple porn stars showing love and affection on a certain part of my body at the same time would be much, much higher than some football game. And yet, its not. I scare myself sometimes, I gotta be honest).
Anyways, moving on. The toughest defeat of them all:
Eagles 37, Chiefs 30, week 4 2005.
This one was shaping up to be one of the greatest days of the Vermeil era. 3:15 national broadcast on the first Sunday in October. It was 90 plus degrees and not a cloud in the sky. The Chiefs and Eagles were both 2-1, a battle of early Super Bowl contenders.
Only, it wasn't a battle for 17 minutes.
The Chiefs led 23-6 with an extra point pending barely into the second quarter. Arrowhead was rocking. It was neat. And then, catastrophe.
Lawrence Tynes shanked the extra point. OK, so be it. Still up 17 and the game's barely begun.
Five turnovers later, the Eagles led 37-23 before a late meaningless touchdown made the score respectable.
To come into that stadium, that freaking nuthouse, going crazy, down 17 ... and somehow run off 31 unanswered on the strength of forcing one of the best offenses in the league to whiz all over itself?
Job well done. So well done, that I didn't make it into work until Wednesday. I couldn't handle this defeat, which ultimately cost the Chiefs the final wildcard berth that instead went to the Steelers (who only wound up running the table and winning one for the thumb).
I'm sure this rambled and you've probably abandoned me by now, but the NFL lost a great one tonight. Anyone who is 4-0 as a defensive coordinator at Arrowhead, has my respect. Rest in peace Mr. Johnson. You earned it.
Even if you were a Missouri Tiger ...
You may have heard of a defensive coordinator named Jim Johnson. Former quarterback of your Missouri Tigers. Long time defensive guru of the Philadelphia Eagles, arguably the NFC's best team the last 10 years.
(The 2000s Eagles are so much like the 1990s Chiefs. 7 playoff berths in the first 9 years of the decade. Only one losing season. And zero championships ... so far. Like I noted in the "fake mailbag" a couple posts ago, they're my pick pre-training camp to win it all).
I never met Mr. Johnson, outside of any pleasantries exchanged at the Arrowhead Overlook the four times he brought his defenses in to town to play the Chiefs.
And as a result, I don't want this to be some sappy, post-death tribute that anyone and everyone will be posting over the next few days. I'm not an Eagles fan. At all.
Rather, I just want to focus on what might be one of his crowning achievements, at least in my eyes.
Forget the fact that his defense ... well, I'll let the Eagles official tribute article do the talking:
----------
From 2000-08, Johnson's units ranked second in the NFL in sacks (390), 3rd down efficiency (34.0%) and red zone touchdown percentage (43.9%), and fourth in fewest points allowed (17.7 per game). During his 10-year tenure in Philadelphia, the Eagles earned seven playoff berths, five trips to the NFC Championship game and one Super Bowl appearance (following the 2004 season).
As the Eagles' defensive chief, Johnson's defense has produced 26 Pro Bowl selections: Brian Dawkins (7), Troy Vincent (5), Jeremiah Trotter (4), Hugh Douglas (3), Lito Sheppard (2), Asante Samuel (1), Trent Cole (1), Michael Lewis (1), Corey Simon (1), and Bobby Taylor (1).
Four of his defensive assistants have gone on to successful careers with other NFL franchises: Steve Spagnuolo (head coach of the St. Louis Rams), John Harbaugh (head coach of the Baltimore Ravens), Ron Rivera (defensive coordinator of the San Diego Chargers) and Leslie Frazier (defensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings).
----------
Forget the obvious.
What stands out to me, is what only a Chiefs fan could focus on.
4-0.
Johnson's record as a defensive coordinator at Arrowhead.
And he never coached a down for the Kansas City Chiefs in that capacity.
One of the defeats, in early December of the lost 2001 rebuilding season, was perfectly understandable. The Eagles were on their way to the first of four straight AFC Title Game appearances (they would lose in St. Louis to the Rams 23-20). The Chiefs were going nowhere at 2-8. A predictable loss.
The other three? Arguably three of the most gut-wrenching defeats of the last 15 years. Because in all three, the Chiefs had the lead. In all three, Johnson made the adjustments. And stole victories from games he had no business winning.
Worse yet, as a Chiefs fan, all three defeats either kept the Chiefs out of the playoffs, or ended a playoff run:
* 1996: the least "painful" of the three. Johnson's Colts rolled into Arrowhead at 7-7, needing to win out to reach the playoffs for the third straight year. The Chiefs entered at 9-5, simply needing to hold serve at home to clinch a playoff berth.
Colts 24, Chiefs 19, on a brilliant goal to go stand with the game, and ultimately the postseason, on the line.
After another Indy win (over the Super Bowl bound Patriots) and another Chiefs loss (to the playing for nothing Bills), the math was simple. Colts in. Chiefs out.
* 1995: shockingly, this one didn't bug me near as much as the remaining defeat. And I do mean "shockingly". It is NO secret to anyone who reads this site, or knows me, that the 1995 Chiefs are my single favorite all time team. Ever. I have never loved a team, or rooted as hard for a team, as I did for that collection of overachievers. That team had 5 win talent, maybe 6 if they caught a break here or there. They went 13-3. They brought me more happiness and joy than any Chiefs team before or since in my lifetime.
They authored not one, not two, not three, but FOUR freaking miracles at home that season. Rallying from down 17-3 to the Giants with 4 minutes to play to win in overtime. Rallying from down 17-3 to the Raiders a week later to win on James Hasty's INT TD in overtime. Mark Collins scooping up the most unbelievable fumble in Chiefs history to win a Sunday nighter over the Oilers.
And of course, my favorite play in NFL history, set up by overcoming a 24-17 deficit with 1:08 to play:
(al) the rookie vanover
(frank) boy did he loft that one!
(al) he fields at the 14 yard line ...
(frank) uh oh!
(al) Vanover! Up past the 30!
(frank) he's gone
(al) Vanover is almost gone and now ... he ... is ... OFFICIALLY GONE!
(dan) NO FLAGS!
(frank) we've been talking about him all night!
(dan) NO FLAGS! THIS GAME'S OVER!
(note: Sweet Jesus, I have NEVER cried as much as the finish to a Chiefs game as I did that night. October 9, 1995. Until and unless the Chiefs reach a Super Bowl, I doubt I'll ever cry as much as I did that night in pure happiness and joy. I'm trying to figure out how to post the audio of Frank, Al and Dan's call. I'll figure this thing out eventually, the call is that freaking awesome. To say nothing of the 250 plus other huge plays I have downloaded on mp3 that should be relived and loved by Chiefs fans that read this ...)
To say nothing of rolling the donkeys in the snow at Real Mile High. Of going 8-0 in the division for the first time in franchise history. Of winning another incredible comeback game by the Bay, as the raiders became the first (and so far, only) team in post-merge NFL history to open 8-1 and not make the playoffs.
So yeah, I loved that team. 1995 Chiefs. Favorite of all time.
And Jim Johnson's brilliance (combined with lin elliott's ... uuh, what's the opposite of brilliance?) ended the dream season.
Colts 10, Chiefs 7.
The reason this defeat in the divisional playoffs doesn't bug me as much as Johnson's most amazing win at Arrowhead, is probably because I fully expected the Steelers to roll us the following Sunday. But Mr. Johnson denied me my one biggest unfulfilled fantasy in life (to attend an AFC Title Game at Arrowhead) with this win. And ended my favorite Chiefs season to boot.
(And yes, it scares me too that my "biggest unfulfilled fantasy in life" is an as-yet unplayed Chiefs game. You'd think a couple porn stars showing love and affection on a certain part of my body at the same time would be much, much higher than some football game. And yet, its not. I scare myself sometimes, I gotta be honest).
Anyways, moving on. The toughest defeat of them all:
Eagles 37, Chiefs 30, week 4 2005.
This one was shaping up to be one of the greatest days of the Vermeil era. 3:15 national broadcast on the first Sunday in October. It was 90 plus degrees and not a cloud in the sky. The Chiefs and Eagles were both 2-1, a battle of early Super Bowl contenders.
Only, it wasn't a battle for 17 minutes.
The Chiefs led 23-6 with an extra point pending barely into the second quarter. Arrowhead was rocking. It was neat. And then, catastrophe.
Lawrence Tynes shanked the extra point. OK, so be it. Still up 17 and the game's barely begun.
Five turnovers later, the Eagles led 37-23 before a late meaningless touchdown made the score respectable.
To come into that stadium, that freaking nuthouse, going crazy, down 17 ... and somehow run off 31 unanswered on the strength of forcing one of the best offenses in the league to whiz all over itself?
Job well done. So well done, that I didn't make it into work until Wednesday. I couldn't handle this defeat, which ultimately cost the Chiefs the final wildcard berth that instead went to the Steelers (who only wound up running the table and winning one for the thumb).
I'm sure this rambled and you've probably abandoned me by now, but the NFL lost a great one tonight. Anyone who is 4-0 as a defensive coordinator at Arrowhead, has my respect. Rest in peace Mr. Johnson. You earned it.
Even if you were a Missouri Tiger ...
Monday, July 27, 2009
let's go campin!
No, I'm not going floating this weekend ... but if someone wants to put together a late-summer float trip, I'm all about it. (Unless it screws with the August 15th tailgate. I honestly think this thing will actually live up to the hype. I have no idea how. Other than using the FOX Baseball promo voice. Grigsby! Glass! The "Beast Riders"! The "Ambulance Chasers"! One More Time! Only at Arrowhead! Only on ... (local cbs tv if we're lucky ...)
But ... its July! Almost August! which means three things.
1. I am fired up that my favorite 6 week stretch of the year is here weather wise. Its pretty much guaranteed that between now and Labor Day, we'll have hot conditions, no rain, plenty of days at the pool, a few tailgates at the Sports Complex ... and did I mention "hot conditions"? I freaking LOVE this stretch of the year.
2. Everybody has abandoned Steve and refuses to go to Sunday Royals games (and tailgate) because (insert legitimate reason here to not give piss poor franchise $.01 of your money).
But best of all, it means
3. Training camp is underway!
In the "fake mailbag" a couple weeks ago, I predicted the Chiefs would reach the playoffs as a wildcard at 9-7.
I stand behind that pick, for 8 reasons:
1. Matt Cassel. When Coach Haley says this kid prepares "more than Kurt Warner", I pay attention. Whatever you think of Mr. Warner and his wife's boa, there is pretty much nobody in the sport who made something of himself like Mr. Warner did. He came from nowhere (literally, stocking groceries in a HyVee in Iowa) to take three different teams to a Super Bowl in 11 years. Considering no Chiefs team in my lifetime has done that, I'm impressed. So if Coach Haley says Cassel's preparation, dedication to game film, and practice reels put Warner to shame, well, I'm damned proud I shelled out another $840 plus parking to see how it turns out.
2. Inside Linebacker. I understand Mike Vrabel isn't thrilled to be here to finish out his career, and I am less than thrilled that Monty Beisel is back for a second tour of duty with this team. I'm neutral on Zack Thomas, who I was jokingly compared to for years on end back in the day. (Mr. Thomas married his best friend's sister. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that ain't gonna happen with me at this point). But I firmly ... no scratch that. I am absolutely effing convinced that the 3-4 defense wins in this league, and nothing matters more than your ILB's in that defense. To have three proven, veteran savvy guys in there (plus Beisel's special teams expertise), I'm optimistic.
3. Goodbye TG. I personally don't give a crap what whiny bitchy malcontents think about setting records nobody gives a crap about. My way of saying, addition by subtraction.
4. A focused LJ. Remember Larry? I still do. I know I am a blind, rabid, "see no evil" supporter of the guy ... but really? A focused LJ is still among the 5-6 best backs in this league. He's literally playing for his financial livelihood. (Like, sadly, a lot of us are in Obama's America). I believe in him still. You don't suddenly forget to run the football. Unless ...
5. LDT is old. How do I know he's old? He lived in my old dorm when he was a freshman ... and I was a senior at TCU. He can't be San Diego's primary option to run the ball anymore. Darren Sproles, God love him, has proven he can't be a primary back. San Diego is EXACTLY where we were in the late 1990s in their backfield situation. An aging, still somewhat viable great player (us: Allen) and someone that can't handle the difference between "must deliver" and "reality" (us: Greg Hill, Donnell Bennett, Kimble Anders, etc). If San Diego can't run, then you tee off on Rivers (exactly what teams did last year). We can steal this division. Just like the Chargers did last year from our "good friends" in denver. And speaking of them ...
6. Two words: josh. mcdaniels. Readers of this site, and people who know me, know that I hate everything affiliated with the denver broncos with a friggin passion. Hell, I've already basically told one of my best friend's girlfriends (who is a donkeys fan) that she'd better bring a change of clothes if she's gonna survive tailgating on December 6th. (I kid, I kid. She's safe. Any fellow donkey fans she brings that aren't immediate relatives though, well, we tip port-a-potties on visiting fans for a reason).
But seriously, you sh*t can shanarat for this? You trade a potential franchise QB for kyle orton for this? denver is the new oakland. And speaking of which ...
7. I like tom cable. Actually, I like him a lot. I think he's a solid hire, will be a solid head coach, and I quite honestly fear what he brings to the table.
There's just one problem.
He looks like the spitting image of "deadbeat ex-roommate". Right down to the red-haired goatee.
And I refuse to believe that after all the financial sh*t that sad sack of crap put me through, that someone that looks like him will find a way to prosper. So oakland is no threat.
But finally, why I think this season could be epic ...
8. No realistic expectations.
Think back over the last 20 years of Chiefs football. 1989 there were no realistic expectations. We were the first team out. 1995 NOBODY outside of Gregg had ANY belief in that team. Even I thought we had no hope. That team only turned out to be the (co-best) record holder in franchise history, and my single favorite Chiefs team ever. 1999 was a "transition" year. We were (depending on your viewpoint) a missed field goal as time expired (me) or a horrid overtime kickoff (most folks) away from a division title, a layup wildcard round playoff win, and setting off a whole series of events that would have completely altered the franchise. 2001 was supposed to be a throwaway season, only we gained a franchise QB, our all time yardage RB, and an explosive WR threat out of the season, none of whom was here in 2000. (Green, Holmes, Kennison for the less informed out there). 2002 was another "transition year", again, we were the first team out of the playoffs. 2005, 2006 not much was expected. 2005 we were the first team out, 2006 the last team in. Even 2007, nobody outside of me had faith, and we led the division as late as November 25th (at 4-5 granted, but still).
When nobody expect good things from this team, good things happen. (Conversely, save for 1993 and 2003, when great things are expected, this team falls flat on its face.)
I think these guys are going to give us a season to remember. I am really, really fired up about this season. Give these guys a chance. Maybe they'll give us 9-10 denver games from last year to celebrate this season.
And if they don't ... hey. It's not the first time I've been dead wrong about something ...
But ... its July! Almost August! which means three things.
1. I am fired up that my favorite 6 week stretch of the year is here weather wise. Its pretty much guaranteed that between now and Labor Day, we'll have hot conditions, no rain, plenty of days at the pool, a few tailgates at the Sports Complex ... and did I mention "hot conditions"? I freaking LOVE this stretch of the year.
2. Everybody has abandoned Steve and refuses to go to Sunday Royals games (and tailgate) because (insert legitimate reason here to not give piss poor franchise $.01 of your money).
But best of all, it means
3. Training camp is underway!
In the "fake mailbag" a couple weeks ago, I predicted the Chiefs would reach the playoffs as a wildcard at 9-7.
I stand behind that pick, for 8 reasons:
1. Matt Cassel. When Coach Haley says this kid prepares "more than Kurt Warner", I pay attention. Whatever you think of Mr. Warner and his wife's boa, there is pretty much nobody in the sport who made something of himself like Mr. Warner did. He came from nowhere (literally, stocking groceries in a HyVee in Iowa) to take three different teams to a Super Bowl in 11 years. Considering no Chiefs team in my lifetime has done that, I'm impressed. So if Coach Haley says Cassel's preparation, dedication to game film, and practice reels put Warner to shame, well, I'm damned proud I shelled out another $840 plus parking to see how it turns out.
2. Inside Linebacker. I understand Mike Vrabel isn't thrilled to be here to finish out his career, and I am less than thrilled that Monty Beisel is back for a second tour of duty with this team. I'm neutral on Zack Thomas, who I was jokingly compared to for years on end back in the day. (Mr. Thomas married his best friend's sister. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that ain't gonna happen with me at this point). But I firmly ... no scratch that. I am absolutely effing convinced that the 3-4 defense wins in this league, and nothing matters more than your ILB's in that defense. To have three proven, veteran savvy guys in there (plus Beisel's special teams expertise), I'm optimistic.
3. Goodbye TG. I personally don't give a crap what whiny bitchy malcontents think about setting records nobody gives a crap about. My way of saying, addition by subtraction.
4. A focused LJ. Remember Larry? I still do. I know I am a blind, rabid, "see no evil" supporter of the guy ... but really? A focused LJ is still among the 5-6 best backs in this league. He's literally playing for his financial livelihood. (Like, sadly, a lot of us are in Obama's America). I believe in him still. You don't suddenly forget to run the football. Unless ...
5. LDT is old. How do I know he's old? He lived in my old dorm when he was a freshman ... and I was a senior at TCU. He can't be San Diego's primary option to run the ball anymore. Darren Sproles, God love him, has proven he can't be a primary back. San Diego is EXACTLY where we were in the late 1990s in their backfield situation. An aging, still somewhat viable great player (us: Allen) and someone that can't handle the difference between "must deliver" and "reality" (us: Greg Hill, Donnell Bennett, Kimble Anders, etc). If San Diego can't run, then you tee off on Rivers (exactly what teams did last year). We can steal this division. Just like the Chargers did last year from our "good friends" in denver. And speaking of them ...
6. Two words: josh. mcdaniels. Readers of this site, and people who know me, know that I hate everything affiliated with the denver broncos with a friggin passion. Hell, I've already basically told one of my best friend's girlfriends (who is a donkeys fan) that she'd better bring a change of clothes if she's gonna survive tailgating on December 6th. (I kid, I kid. She's safe. Any fellow donkey fans she brings that aren't immediate relatives though, well, we tip port-a-potties on visiting fans for a reason).
But seriously, you sh*t can shanarat for this? You trade a potential franchise QB for kyle orton for this? denver is the new oakland. And speaking of which ...
7. I like tom cable. Actually, I like him a lot. I think he's a solid hire, will be a solid head coach, and I quite honestly fear what he brings to the table.
There's just one problem.
He looks like the spitting image of "deadbeat ex-roommate". Right down to the red-haired goatee.
And I refuse to believe that after all the financial sh*t that sad sack of crap put me through, that someone that looks like him will find a way to prosper. So oakland is no threat.
But finally, why I think this season could be epic ...
8. No realistic expectations.
Think back over the last 20 years of Chiefs football. 1989 there were no realistic expectations. We were the first team out. 1995 NOBODY outside of Gregg had ANY belief in that team. Even I thought we had no hope. That team only turned out to be the (co-best) record holder in franchise history, and my single favorite Chiefs team ever. 1999 was a "transition" year. We were (depending on your viewpoint) a missed field goal as time expired (me) or a horrid overtime kickoff (most folks) away from a division title, a layup wildcard round playoff win, and setting off a whole series of events that would have completely altered the franchise. 2001 was supposed to be a throwaway season, only we gained a franchise QB, our all time yardage RB, and an explosive WR threat out of the season, none of whom was here in 2000. (Green, Holmes, Kennison for the less informed out there). 2002 was another "transition year", again, we were the first team out of the playoffs. 2005, 2006 not much was expected. 2005 we were the first team out, 2006 the last team in. Even 2007, nobody outside of me had faith, and we led the division as late as November 25th (at 4-5 granted, but still).
When nobody expect good things from this team, good things happen. (Conversely, save for 1993 and 2003, when great things are expected, this team falls flat on its face.)
I think these guys are going to give us a season to remember. I am really, really fired up about this season. Give these guys a chance. Maybe they'll give us 9-10 denver games from last year to celebrate this season.
And if they don't ... hey. It's not the first time I've been dead wrong about something ...
Sunday, July 19, 2009
steve responds to star fellating hillman
Believe it or not, I don't want to break this article down "Steve style".
I have always thought that a head coach, regardless of the sport, deserved 5 years to implement his or her plan, and then be judged on the results. The sole exceptions to that being either (a) gross incompetence that requires immediate action, or (b) off field conduct of a criminal nature that requires immediate action.
Often times, this leads me to be at odds with the sporting community, with fans of the team, and with my friends. And even more often, I'm proven wrong in hindsight for defending the coach and arguing for another chance.
And for most of this season, I have defended Trey Hillman, and Dayton Moore, and the entire leadership of the Royals, because let's face it. Things were so bad in this organization that it would take at least 3 years to reach competence, and 2010 was always the year targeted for contention.
But after reading this article, and after witnessing not one, not two, but three mind-blowing 8th inning meltdowns that our manager did nothing, not one damned thing, to prevent ... I'm done.
Trey Must Go.
Because he's not competent enough to do the job.
Let's break down Sam Mellinger's prop-up-the-manager piece from the Star this morning, as only I can do it.
(note: I like Mellinger, a lot. I think he's a tremendous writer. I am just damned sick and tired of the media in this town playing the "oh, poor Royals, they try" card. Screw trying. Show some freaking results already.)
"Another heads-up came in a few days ago. These can put Trey Hillman in a bad mood. They seem to be coming more often now.
Here’s how it usually goes: someone close to Hillman reads or hears something bad, something critical, someone saying the Royals have an ineffective manager and, well, wouldn’t the team be better off with a change?
Hillman swears he doesn’t read the newspaper, doesn’t listen to sports talk radio, doesn’t check out any blogs or message boards. But much of what’s out there gets back to him.
Some of it he wants to hear, it’s part of his job, he says, a way to monitor what fans are thinking and what reporters may be asking. Some of it, though, he’d rather do without. It’s tough to read that people want you fired.
“Does it bother me?” he says. “On occasion? Yeah.”
sk: As someone who is routinely tossed under the proverbial bus at my job by management and fellow co-workers seeking to look good, I get what Hillman is saying. Yeah, warrantless criticism sucks. But we all have to deal with it. You've got one of only 30 jobs in the country pal. You're managing a $70 million plus payroll with incredible incompetence. Sorry to be mean. But only a brain-challenged manager would not have used his all-world closer even once this weekend, holding a one run lead each damned day in the 8th inning. Let's continue before I start slamming the scorecard against the seat in front of me and dropping "god f*cking dammit" bombs again ...
"A year-and-a-half into the job, Hillman is trying his best to block out the growing criticism from fans and media around one of the most disappointing Royals seasons in recent memory.
This was the year the Royals were supposed to compete in a weak AL Central, remember? Sure looked that way when the team started 18-11, in first place and with starter Zack Greinke the talk of the bigger baseball world.
That’s all been swallowed up in a remarkable fall, losses in 42 of 61 games, turning a three-game division lead into an 11 1/2 -game deficit, turning May hopes into July anger. Much of that has been directed at Hillman, fueling speculation about his job security."
sk: make that 43 of 62. Seriously, this team is 19-43 in its last 62 games. 19-43! Do you realize that's basically the exact same winning percentage as Herm's Chiefs (15-34)? Royals .30645, Chiefs .30612. The difference, of course, is two fold. (a) We enjoyed at least a year and a half of excitement, and a playoff berth, with Herm (remember, we opened 4-3 in 2007 before the roof caved in). And of course, (b) Herm was fired for his inability to win. Will Trey suffer the same deserved fate?
"So it’s interesting that general manager Dayton Moore — who is taking criticism himself — now tells The Star that Hillman will remain with the Royals not only this season, but next season as well.
“Absolutely,” he says. “We’re all in this thing together. You can’t keep changing managers and coaches. Continuity is very, very important. If you’ve got people who work hard and people who care and are smart, you stick with them. Because if you stick together through the tough times, we’ve got a chance to win here and do something special long-term.
“You just can’t keep reshuffling.”
sk: that statement is so utterly retarded, so utterly clueless, that I don't know where to begin. Truly. I'm dumbstruck.
Really? "Continuity is very, very important". Not when you aren't winning! This team has posted one -- one! -- season above .500 since I graduated from high school. They have been in position to reach the playoffs (within 3 of a playoff berth) on Labor Day twice -- twice! -- since I graduated high school. Have I mentioned that my 15th year high school reunion is next year? You don't need continuity when you're consistently this bad. You need HHH to bring his sledgehammer in and start cleaning house.
And what's this "If you've got people who work hard and people who care and are smart" line? Where's the proof? I don't doubt that people in this organization work hard, that they care about their tasks, that they have at least a national average IQ, and that they want to win. But where's the proof they know how to do that?
Seriously, do you realize that EVERY team in baseball, save for the former Expos / current Nationals, have made the playoffs since we last did? That's utterly incredible. There's even been 4 effing expansion teams since 1985, and all 4 have made the World Series!
Oy. Moving on.
Fan bases of most every team in baseball criticize their manager, of course. It’s part of the job. The list of criticisms of Hillman is long.
He’s been knocked for bunting too much, bunting too little and bunting in the wrong situations.
sk: nobody, and I mean NOBODY, hates bunting in the American League more than me. Its ridiculous. Its a horrendous waste of resources. I wish our field general understood this.
He’s taken hits for his handling of Joakim Soria’s shoulder injury, for leaving Gil Meche in games too long and taking Greinke out too soon.
Meche, who struggled early in the season with back issues, threw 132 pitches in a complete-game shutout. He then complained of having a “dead arm,” struggled through a couple of terrible starts, thought about skipping his turn in the rotation, and then was allowed to throw 121 pitches in his next start. He is now on the disabled list.
sk: any manager who doesn't understand the concept of a pitch count needs to resign. And any manager who not only fails to grasp a basic concept like the pitch count, but instead trots out Meche to the scenario described above, deserves a pink slip.
Hillman’s substitutions have started arguments among fans. Once in Cleveland, he used Luis Hernandez as a pinch hitter when he had Mark Teahen available. Teahen later came in as a pinch runner.
sk: how can anyone defend that move? Either that's an incredible brain fart on Trey's part, or he's dumber than I'm giving him credit for. That's a "sit on 14 against a 10" kind of screw up.
The bullpen was supposed to be one of the team’s biggest strengths this season. Even with Soria’s shoulder problems, most observers thought there was enough depth to be one of the AL’s better units. Instead, the Royals already have nearly matched last year’s total of blown leads in late innings.
sk: its really very simple. You have one reliable reliever, Soria. You entered the 8th inning with a small lead all three times this weekend. Soria never left the bullpen. Explain that, Trey. Explain how the hell your best reliever NEVER takes the field in 3 one-run games? How? How does this happen? Other than gross managerial incompetence?
Other criticisms are more big picture. He’s not an effective motivator. He’s too sensitive. He juggles the lineup too much. The Royals have regressed defensively and on the basepaths in each of the last two seasons.
On and on it goes.
Hillman hears it. Sometimes it gets to him.
He wants his side to be heard, to be understood.
sk: and he deserves a chance to state his side. But he needs to understand that when you are 19-43 in your last 62 games, people will -- and should -- thorougly examine and critique every move you make. Because when you're 19-43 in your last 62 games, you're doing something wrong. A lot of somethings.
Trey Hillman will tell you he’s self-critical. And he is. Before spring training, he listed a number of things he felt he needed to improve on from his rookie season in the big leagues.
He wanted to be calmer. Wanted to be looser. Wanted to enjoy himself more. Wanted to learn how to better communicate — with fans, with reporters, with players, with everyone.
sk: I feel I'm being set up here ...
The most important thing — in Hillman’s eyes — was that he needed to be in his Bible more. He got away from it too much last year, and with that, he thinks, got away from himself. He’s corrected that.
“Without me trying to inflict my beliefs on anybody else, that’s what I need,” Hillman says. “I’ve been more consistent with that. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to stay more balanced.”
sk: and boom goes the dynamite. (steve sighing in disgust) What in the hell does reading your Bible have to do with managing a baseball team? Look it, I'm not here to criticize someone's beliefs. I have mine (religion: the cause of, not solution to, 95% of the world's problems. Note that I said "religion", not "faith". There is a difference).
But again, what the hell does religion have to do with managing a professional sports team? I don't give a crap if my manager reads a Psalm before entering the clubhouse. I DO give a crap if he's read a scouting report. If he's filled out the lineup card to reflect a righty or lefty on the mound facing us. If he's fully aware of who's available to pitch in a jam. Those things matter on a baseball field. Knowing what some verse in John says doesn't.
Its really simple, Trey. If you were winning, you wouldn't face this criticism. Again, you are 19-43 in your last 62 contests. You are failing miserably sir. I'm pretty sure that Bible you're leaning on does talk about accountability, owning up to your mistakes, and most importantly, doesn't contain a single reference anywhere to the game of baseball. That's where your focus should be while you're managing this team, on the game.
Hillman and Moore each say there is a much better atmosphere in the clubhouse than last year. The general feeling among players seems to agree, though that may be a reference to how bad things got last year.
Hillman has, for instance, learned to avoid violating certain “codes” like turning down the music in the players’ weight room.
sk: again, why are we focusing on this? I don't give a crap if the players are more comfortable. I want to see them win. Which they aren't. At an alarming rate.
As the losses have mounted, Hillman has more frequently referenced the stack of injuries the team has incurred. Center fielder Coco Crisp and shortstop Mikes Aviles are each out for the year, opening gaping holes that the Royals’ roster and minor-league systems were unable to fill. Third baseman Alex Gordon’s anticipated breakout season has at least been delayed by hip surgery, and the bullpen went into flux when Soria was hurt.
This is not, as club officials point out, the team the Royals left spring training with. So how much of the blame can justifiably be put on Hillman?
sk: every team deals with injuries. The good ones know better than to use them as a crutch. And besides, at least two of the injuries the Royals have dealt with / are dealing with, were directly attributable to Hillman himself (Soria, Meche), the way he used and abused their arms. So spare me the excuses.
“That’s not for me to answer,” he says. “There’s a lot that people don’t know. I’m not going to bang my head against the wall defending things I do or do not do in trying to educate the masses about things that, quite frankly, I can’t educate. There’s just too much.
sk: wait, did our manager just say that the viewing public, the fanbase of this team, is too stupid to understand why he's doing what he does? Am I reading this right? He won't defend his decisions because we're not smart enough to understand what he's doing? Are you kidding me? This isn't rocket science! Its baseball!
And with all due respect sir, I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. I am college educated and graduated. From a well respected private institution to boot. I have worked for 11 years as a reinsurance accountant, which is one of the most highly specialized accounting fields that exist. I'm pretty damned sure, sir, that I am capable of being educated when it comes to the nuances of the game. Ask anyone who's sat by me at a Chiefs game. Even pushing a .20 from tailgating, I can still identify a defensive scheme prior to the snap. And I can almost always identify where the weak spot is in the defense as a result. I am not stupid. I am perfectly capable of being educated.
And neither is this fanbase. We're not stupid. We just know a bullshitter when we see one. Don't piss on my leg and tell me its raining, as the great Judge Judy once noted. Don't tell me I'm too stupid to know basic baseball 101. Its not my intelligence in question here sir. Its yours. And rightly so.
“That’s not me getting my violin out. I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I love my job. But there’s a lot of moving parts to being a major-league manager that people don’t get. … I understand that (we have) a losing record, and injuries we’ve incurred. I understand you’re doing your job and asking difficult questions. I understand. People are going to think what they want to think anyway.”
sk: again, are you kidding me? What part of OBP, OPS, pitch counts, working the count, plate discipline, basic fielding, basic base running am I or other fans incapable of understanding? Most EVERYONE who is a fan of baseball has played the game at some point. Even I played it, and I am anything but "athletically gifted". I've been screaming about pitch counts since at least 1999, long before it became fashionable. I even used to get made fun of at games because I tracked the pitch count back in the day. So, if I'm smart enough to be AHEAD of the curve on something as basic as "wait, you mean throwing 130 pitches each outing is a bad idea on our $55 million asset?", what makes you think I can't grasp the "moving parts to being a major-league manager"?
I love arrogant, condescending people. When they actually have a reason to be arrogant and condescending. And I honestly can't figure out what Hillman's reason is. Its certainly not success on the field. And I'm pretty sure that whole religion thing he's into preaches that "pride goes before a fall". But hey, we shouldn't worry, because Trey's in charge. The man too stupid to use his best reliever at any point in time in 3 one-run games this weekend, thinks I'm too stupid to understand his reasoning.
Actually what am I saying? He's got a point. If he's too stupid to get Soria into the game, I don't want to know his reasoning. Only an ill-advised idiot would look at the situation and go with an inferior reliever. Only someone in over his head would do the exact wrong thing consistently and repeatedly. So in hindsight, yeah, Trey's got a point. I won't ever understand his thinking. Because it makes no sense!
Moore’s lists of defenses for Hillman are as long as the criticisms. Hillman is accountable, Moore says, with “tremendous” leadership skills, good preparation and work ethic.
He’s smart and passionate, and those are two things Moore likes. Moore says he hopes Hillman doesn’t change anything, because “Trey has the chance to be one of the very best baseball men in a generation.” He then mentions that Tony La Russa, Bobby Cox and Joe Torre each took harsh criticism early in their careers.
sk: yeah, they all took criticism .. and they all reached the playoffs within 3 years of taking on their first job! Torre won the NL West in 1982. LaRussa won the AL West in 1983. And Bobby Cox won the AL East in 1985. This is Trey's third year at the helm. Anyone see us playing beyond October 4th at this point?
And really ... to compare Trey Hillman to Tony LaRussa. Are you f*cking kidding me? Yeah, they're both arrogant and condescending. Here's the difference though. LaRussa's earned it. Multiple World Series championships and appearances. An insane number of division championships. What exactly has Trey Hillman done? Other than tell the fans of his team that they're too stupid to understand what being a manager entails?
The injuries are skewing the Royals’ win-loss record, Moore says, and with it the judgments of Hillman’s performance. Moore still believes in his guy, as much as he did the day he made the hire.
And no matter what anybody else thinks, Moore’s opinion is the one that matters most.
“I anticipate us having a strong second half,” Moore says. “I expect Trey Hillman to be a big part of that in the second half, and in the future. I expect him to be a big part of it.”
sk: the script was there for a strong second half. We had the defending AL Champs on the ropes all three nights this weekend. And lost all 3 games without our best and only reliable reliever taking the field. That's not bad luck. That's not an issue with injuries. That's utter incompetence.
I was there last night. Megan's dad, sitting next to me, had a Steve-esque meltdown when Trey turned to Juan Cruz to open the 8th. "You watch! We've just lost this game!" 3 hitters later, we were heading to the parking lot, having seen his prediction come true.
Trey Must Go. And if GMDM continues to defend him, then maybe its time to call his baseball intelligence into question, as good buddy Heath has done at his site.
I have always thought that a head coach, regardless of the sport, deserved 5 years to implement his or her plan, and then be judged on the results. The sole exceptions to that being either (a) gross incompetence that requires immediate action, or (b) off field conduct of a criminal nature that requires immediate action.
Often times, this leads me to be at odds with the sporting community, with fans of the team, and with my friends. And even more often, I'm proven wrong in hindsight for defending the coach and arguing for another chance.
And for most of this season, I have defended Trey Hillman, and Dayton Moore, and the entire leadership of the Royals, because let's face it. Things were so bad in this organization that it would take at least 3 years to reach competence, and 2010 was always the year targeted for contention.
But after reading this article, and after witnessing not one, not two, but three mind-blowing 8th inning meltdowns that our manager did nothing, not one damned thing, to prevent ... I'm done.
Trey Must Go.
Because he's not competent enough to do the job.
Let's break down Sam Mellinger's prop-up-the-manager piece from the Star this morning, as only I can do it.
(note: I like Mellinger, a lot. I think he's a tremendous writer. I am just damned sick and tired of the media in this town playing the "oh, poor Royals, they try" card. Screw trying. Show some freaking results already.)
"Another heads-up came in a few days ago. These can put Trey Hillman in a bad mood. They seem to be coming more often now.
Here’s how it usually goes: someone close to Hillman reads or hears something bad, something critical, someone saying the Royals have an ineffective manager and, well, wouldn’t the team be better off with a change?
Hillman swears he doesn’t read the newspaper, doesn’t listen to sports talk radio, doesn’t check out any blogs or message boards. But much of what’s out there gets back to him.
Some of it he wants to hear, it’s part of his job, he says, a way to monitor what fans are thinking and what reporters may be asking. Some of it, though, he’d rather do without. It’s tough to read that people want you fired.
“Does it bother me?” he says. “On occasion? Yeah.”
sk: As someone who is routinely tossed under the proverbial bus at my job by management and fellow co-workers seeking to look good, I get what Hillman is saying. Yeah, warrantless criticism sucks. But we all have to deal with it. You've got one of only 30 jobs in the country pal. You're managing a $70 million plus payroll with incredible incompetence. Sorry to be mean. But only a brain-challenged manager would not have used his all-world closer even once this weekend, holding a one run lead each damned day in the 8th inning. Let's continue before I start slamming the scorecard against the seat in front of me and dropping "god f*cking dammit" bombs again ...
"A year-and-a-half into the job, Hillman is trying his best to block out the growing criticism from fans and media around one of the most disappointing Royals seasons in recent memory.
This was the year the Royals were supposed to compete in a weak AL Central, remember? Sure looked that way when the team started 18-11, in first place and with starter Zack Greinke the talk of the bigger baseball world.
That’s all been swallowed up in a remarkable fall, losses in 42 of 61 games, turning a three-game division lead into an 11 1/2 -game deficit, turning May hopes into July anger. Much of that has been directed at Hillman, fueling speculation about his job security."
sk: make that 43 of 62. Seriously, this team is 19-43 in its last 62 games. 19-43! Do you realize that's basically the exact same winning percentage as Herm's Chiefs (15-34)? Royals .30645, Chiefs .30612. The difference, of course, is two fold. (a) We enjoyed at least a year and a half of excitement, and a playoff berth, with Herm (remember, we opened 4-3 in 2007 before the roof caved in). And of course, (b) Herm was fired for his inability to win. Will Trey suffer the same deserved fate?
"So it’s interesting that general manager Dayton Moore — who is taking criticism himself — now tells The Star that Hillman will remain with the Royals not only this season, but next season as well.
“Absolutely,” he says. “We’re all in this thing together. You can’t keep changing managers and coaches. Continuity is very, very important. If you’ve got people who work hard and people who care and are smart, you stick with them. Because if you stick together through the tough times, we’ve got a chance to win here and do something special long-term.
“You just can’t keep reshuffling.”
sk: that statement is so utterly retarded, so utterly clueless, that I don't know where to begin. Truly. I'm dumbstruck.
Really? "Continuity is very, very important". Not when you aren't winning! This team has posted one -- one! -- season above .500 since I graduated from high school. They have been in position to reach the playoffs (within 3 of a playoff berth) on Labor Day twice -- twice! -- since I graduated high school. Have I mentioned that my 15th year high school reunion is next year? You don't need continuity when you're consistently this bad. You need HHH to bring his sledgehammer in and start cleaning house.
And what's this "If you've got people who work hard and people who care and are smart" line? Where's the proof? I don't doubt that people in this organization work hard, that they care about their tasks, that they have at least a national average IQ, and that they want to win. But where's the proof they know how to do that?
Seriously, do you realize that EVERY team in baseball, save for the former Expos / current Nationals, have made the playoffs since we last did? That's utterly incredible. There's even been 4 effing expansion teams since 1985, and all 4 have made the World Series!
Oy. Moving on.
Fan bases of most every team in baseball criticize their manager, of course. It’s part of the job. The list of criticisms of Hillman is long.
He’s been knocked for bunting too much, bunting too little and bunting in the wrong situations.
sk: nobody, and I mean NOBODY, hates bunting in the American League more than me. Its ridiculous. Its a horrendous waste of resources. I wish our field general understood this.
He’s taken hits for his handling of Joakim Soria’s shoulder injury, for leaving Gil Meche in games too long and taking Greinke out too soon.
Meche, who struggled early in the season with back issues, threw 132 pitches in a complete-game shutout. He then complained of having a “dead arm,” struggled through a couple of terrible starts, thought about skipping his turn in the rotation, and then was allowed to throw 121 pitches in his next start. He is now on the disabled list.
sk: any manager who doesn't understand the concept of a pitch count needs to resign. And any manager who not only fails to grasp a basic concept like the pitch count, but instead trots out Meche to the scenario described above, deserves a pink slip.
Hillman’s substitutions have started arguments among fans. Once in Cleveland, he used Luis Hernandez as a pinch hitter when he had Mark Teahen available. Teahen later came in as a pinch runner.
sk: how can anyone defend that move? Either that's an incredible brain fart on Trey's part, or he's dumber than I'm giving him credit for. That's a "sit on 14 against a 10" kind of screw up.
The bullpen was supposed to be one of the team’s biggest strengths this season. Even with Soria’s shoulder problems, most observers thought there was enough depth to be one of the AL’s better units. Instead, the Royals already have nearly matched last year’s total of blown leads in late innings.
sk: its really very simple. You have one reliable reliever, Soria. You entered the 8th inning with a small lead all three times this weekend. Soria never left the bullpen. Explain that, Trey. Explain how the hell your best reliever NEVER takes the field in 3 one-run games? How? How does this happen? Other than gross managerial incompetence?
Other criticisms are more big picture. He’s not an effective motivator. He’s too sensitive. He juggles the lineup too much. The Royals have regressed defensively and on the basepaths in each of the last two seasons.
On and on it goes.
Hillman hears it. Sometimes it gets to him.
He wants his side to be heard, to be understood.
sk: and he deserves a chance to state his side. But he needs to understand that when you are 19-43 in your last 62 games, people will -- and should -- thorougly examine and critique every move you make. Because when you're 19-43 in your last 62 games, you're doing something wrong. A lot of somethings.
Trey Hillman will tell you he’s self-critical. And he is. Before spring training, he listed a number of things he felt he needed to improve on from his rookie season in the big leagues.
He wanted to be calmer. Wanted to be looser. Wanted to enjoy himself more. Wanted to learn how to better communicate — with fans, with reporters, with players, with everyone.
sk: I feel I'm being set up here ...
The most important thing — in Hillman’s eyes — was that he needed to be in his Bible more. He got away from it too much last year, and with that, he thinks, got away from himself. He’s corrected that.
“Without me trying to inflict my beliefs on anybody else, that’s what I need,” Hillman says. “I’ve been more consistent with that. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to stay more balanced.”
sk: and boom goes the dynamite. (steve sighing in disgust) What in the hell does reading your Bible have to do with managing a baseball team? Look it, I'm not here to criticize someone's beliefs. I have mine (religion: the cause of, not solution to, 95% of the world's problems. Note that I said "religion", not "faith". There is a difference).
But again, what the hell does religion have to do with managing a professional sports team? I don't give a crap if my manager reads a Psalm before entering the clubhouse. I DO give a crap if he's read a scouting report. If he's filled out the lineup card to reflect a righty or lefty on the mound facing us. If he's fully aware of who's available to pitch in a jam. Those things matter on a baseball field. Knowing what some verse in John says doesn't.
Its really simple, Trey. If you were winning, you wouldn't face this criticism. Again, you are 19-43 in your last 62 contests. You are failing miserably sir. I'm pretty sure that Bible you're leaning on does talk about accountability, owning up to your mistakes, and most importantly, doesn't contain a single reference anywhere to the game of baseball. That's where your focus should be while you're managing this team, on the game.
Hillman and Moore each say there is a much better atmosphere in the clubhouse than last year. The general feeling among players seems to agree, though that may be a reference to how bad things got last year.
Hillman has, for instance, learned to avoid violating certain “codes” like turning down the music in the players’ weight room.
sk: again, why are we focusing on this? I don't give a crap if the players are more comfortable. I want to see them win. Which they aren't. At an alarming rate.
As the losses have mounted, Hillman has more frequently referenced the stack of injuries the team has incurred. Center fielder Coco Crisp and shortstop Mikes Aviles are each out for the year, opening gaping holes that the Royals’ roster and minor-league systems were unable to fill. Third baseman Alex Gordon’s anticipated breakout season has at least been delayed by hip surgery, and the bullpen went into flux when Soria was hurt.
This is not, as club officials point out, the team the Royals left spring training with. So how much of the blame can justifiably be put on Hillman?
sk: every team deals with injuries. The good ones know better than to use them as a crutch. And besides, at least two of the injuries the Royals have dealt with / are dealing with, were directly attributable to Hillman himself (Soria, Meche), the way he used and abused their arms. So spare me the excuses.
“That’s not for me to answer,” he says. “There’s a lot that people don’t know. I’m not going to bang my head against the wall defending things I do or do not do in trying to educate the masses about things that, quite frankly, I can’t educate. There’s just too much.
sk: wait, did our manager just say that the viewing public, the fanbase of this team, is too stupid to understand why he's doing what he does? Am I reading this right? He won't defend his decisions because we're not smart enough to understand what he's doing? Are you kidding me? This isn't rocket science! Its baseball!
And with all due respect sir, I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. I am college educated and graduated. From a well respected private institution to boot. I have worked for 11 years as a reinsurance accountant, which is one of the most highly specialized accounting fields that exist. I'm pretty damned sure, sir, that I am capable of being educated when it comes to the nuances of the game. Ask anyone who's sat by me at a Chiefs game. Even pushing a .20 from tailgating, I can still identify a defensive scheme prior to the snap. And I can almost always identify where the weak spot is in the defense as a result. I am not stupid. I am perfectly capable of being educated.
And neither is this fanbase. We're not stupid. We just know a bullshitter when we see one. Don't piss on my leg and tell me its raining, as the great Judge Judy once noted. Don't tell me I'm too stupid to know basic baseball 101. Its not my intelligence in question here sir. Its yours. And rightly so.
“That’s not me getting my violin out. I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I love my job. But there’s a lot of moving parts to being a major-league manager that people don’t get. … I understand that (we have) a losing record, and injuries we’ve incurred. I understand you’re doing your job and asking difficult questions. I understand. People are going to think what they want to think anyway.”
sk: again, are you kidding me? What part of OBP, OPS, pitch counts, working the count, plate discipline, basic fielding, basic base running am I or other fans incapable of understanding? Most EVERYONE who is a fan of baseball has played the game at some point. Even I played it, and I am anything but "athletically gifted". I've been screaming about pitch counts since at least 1999, long before it became fashionable. I even used to get made fun of at games because I tracked the pitch count back in the day. So, if I'm smart enough to be AHEAD of the curve on something as basic as "wait, you mean throwing 130 pitches each outing is a bad idea on our $55 million asset?", what makes you think I can't grasp the "moving parts to being a major-league manager"?
I love arrogant, condescending people. When they actually have a reason to be arrogant and condescending. And I honestly can't figure out what Hillman's reason is. Its certainly not success on the field. And I'm pretty sure that whole religion thing he's into preaches that "pride goes before a fall". But hey, we shouldn't worry, because Trey's in charge. The man too stupid to use his best reliever at any point in time in 3 one-run games this weekend, thinks I'm too stupid to understand his reasoning.
Actually what am I saying? He's got a point. If he's too stupid to get Soria into the game, I don't want to know his reasoning. Only an ill-advised idiot would look at the situation and go with an inferior reliever. Only someone in over his head would do the exact wrong thing consistently and repeatedly. So in hindsight, yeah, Trey's got a point. I won't ever understand his thinking. Because it makes no sense!
Moore’s lists of defenses for Hillman are as long as the criticisms. Hillman is accountable, Moore says, with “tremendous” leadership skills, good preparation and work ethic.
He’s smart and passionate, and those are two things Moore likes. Moore says he hopes Hillman doesn’t change anything, because “Trey has the chance to be one of the very best baseball men in a generation.” He then mentions that Tony La Russa, Bobby Cox and Joe Torre each took harsh criticism early in their careers.
sk: yeah, they all took criticism .. and they all reached the playoffs within 3 years of taking on their first job! Torre won the NL West in 1982. LaRussa won the AL West in 1983. And Bobby Cox won the AL East in 1985. This is Trey's third year at the helm. Anyone see us playing beyond October 4th at this point?
And really ... to compare Trey Hillman to Tony LaRussa. Are you f*cking kidding me? Yeah, they're both arrogant and condescending. Here's the difference though. LaRussa's earned it. Multiple World Series championships and appearances. An insane number of division championships. What exactly has Trey Hillman done? Other than tell the fans of his team that they're too stupid to understand what being a manager entails?
The injuries are skewing the Royals’ win-loss record, Moore says, and with it the judgments of Hillman’s performance. Moore still believes in his guy, as much as he did the day he made the hire.
And no matter what anybody else thinks, Moore’s opinion is the one that matters most.
“I anticipate us having a strong second half,” Moore says. “I expect Trey Hillman to be a big part of that in the second half, and in the future. I expect him to be a big part of it.”
sk: the script was there for a strong second half. We had the defending AL Champs on the ropes all three nights this weekend. And lost all 3 games without our best and only reliable reliever taking the field. That's not bad luck. That's not an issue with injuries. That's utter incompetence.
I was there last night. Megan's dad, sitting next to me, had a Steve-esque meltdown when Trey turned to Juan Cruz to open the 8th. "You watch! We've just lost this game!" 3 hitters later, we were heading to the parking lot, having seen his prediction come true.
Trey Must Go. And if GMDM continues to defend him, then maybe its time to call his baseball intelligence into question, as good buddy Heath has done at his site.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
the fake mailbag 1.0
My favorite column the Sports Guy writes is his "mailbag" columns, with "actual emails" from "actual readers".
Since I've got nothing better to do, I figured I'd blatantly plagerize the genre. As always, these are "actual emails" from my "actual readers". If you didn't appear, I apologize, I'll try to do better in version 2.0 ...
* "What are your thoughts on the Bucks first round draft pick (Brandon Jennings)?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
My thought is, its the best we could do.
There were three guys I really wanted at 10. Jordan Hill (F) from Arizona, DeMar DeRozan (G) from USC, and Jonny Flynn (G) from the 'Cuse! All three were gone before the Bucks went on the clock.
I was "watching" the draft at a family dinner. By "watching", I mean, my brother and I were staring intently at the TV in the corner, trying to figure out who picked who. After DeRozan went 9, I said "I want Jennings". I got my wish.
My thoughts on the pick are this: its the ultimate gamble. For that, I love it. This is THE home run swing of the draft. If Brandon Jennings plays to his potential, the Bucks have just drafted the face of the franchise for a decade or more. He's that talented. If he plays like a 19 year old for a few years, then its a catastrophe. But this is exactly what Milwaukee has to do to get back into the upper echelon of the Eastern Conference: take risks. Take gambles. I liked the pick for that reason alone, the Bucks took a chance at greatness rather than settling for mediocrity (like Austin Daye from Gonzaga or (gag me) Tyler Hansbrough from UNC).
* "What day this summer are you most looking forward to?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, the obvious answer is, your homecoming tailgate in two weeks. But man, what a lineup still awaits the stretch run!
The Royals tailgate on the 18th for your homecoming. The first "Drew and Steve Tailgate the K! Who passes out drunk first!!!" day since Ayden was born the next day (email invites coming soon). The "100,000th oz / 250,000th oz / 300,000th oz / Not even Jesus can keep track of the oz this is" tailgate for me on the 24th! The Brickyard the week after that. Dave Matthews and Willie Nelson to close the summer out September 30th.
But without question, the answer is August 15th. The Chiefs preseason opener. Against Boomer Grigsby and the Houston Texans. I'm so stoked that I can hardly contain myself. If only it was a double-header day (damned Sports Complex remodel making that impossible for another year ...)
* "Are you still listening to that Nate Matthewson guy?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Hell yes I am.
I'm up to a baker's dozen "will not delete" songs by him on the iPod: "I Saw", "Curve of the Earth", "Bent", "All Been Said Before", "Fall to Pieces", "More Than This", "Philadelphia Song", "Answering Machine", "Suspended", "Car Crash", "Falling Apart", "Heartbreak World", and of course, (mr. nathanson at the bottleneck last november voice) "the song, 'Come On Get Higher' (crowd voice) woo!". I haven't been this into an artist or band since ... uuh ... maybe Linkin Park when "Hybrid Theory" came out?
And oh yeah. I took your advice, and listened to the Sugarland version of "Come On Get Higher". I gotta be honest, I love Matt Nathanson's version. It's way better. The lyrics are just so amazing, just such a f*cking turn on when sung right ... and she kind of gets it. Not bad. Worth the listen, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4dSHfe_HHQ
* "Your thoughts on Bill Weber getting sh*t canned by TNT?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
My thoughts? The guy just got fired for (allegedly) getting into a late night hotel bar fight! That's friggin awesome! My only thought is that I might need to rethink my position on him from my "Steve and Brett Broadcast NASCAR" proposal from three years ago:
-----
b. I am my audience. I think this is the biggest reason why TNT's broadcast blows. (Well that, and the total lack of talent they possess). Can you picture Bill Weber in the stands, shirt off, working his way through a 20 pack of Bud Light, cursing during driver intros, and just being a completely degenerate drunken idiot for an afternoon? Hell no.
But can you picture me doing that? I mean, seriously, (irl promo voice) I am NASCAR! I'm the fat overweight guy in the "more we get together" commercial whose chugging a Bud Light, using the binoculars to check out the rack in 115 ... I mean, the wreck in turn 2, and has the look of a drunken idiot who hasn't seen a shower in a week. I'm that guy. That's who the fans want to listen to, not some preppy white guy in a suit who reads off a teleprompter.
-----
Yeah. I'm that guy, with the shirt off, the beer in one hand, the jello shot in the other, screaming "woo!" every lap. Jesus, Indy can't get here soon enough. On to the next question, which coincidentally comes from another racing fan:
* "What do you think of Tony Stewart leading the points at this point?" -- Darren B, Raytown.
Its unbelievable. This is THE second biggest story in racing this year, behind Tony George hitting the curb with a "confident and classy" quote hanging in the background. The guy leaves one of NASCAR's power teams, forms his own team by buying out one of the also-rans ... and he's leading the friggin series in points, and is pretty much a lock for the Chase. And he's peaking heading to his favorite track. My head is spinning. Let's move on.
* "What Chiefs game are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
Wait. This is an actual question? The answer is ALWAYS "denver". The fact that Derrick Thomas' number will be formally retired has nothing to do with the answer, although it does strengthen it. And that reminds me ...
Why isn't 37 "officially" retired? I get that nobody has worn 37 since Joe Delaney heroically gave his life so that 3 young boys could live. But really, why isn't 37 OFFICIALLY retired? Someday in the future, some idiot is going to come along and take 37. And I'm going to be pissed as holy hell when he does. This is insane, One Arrowhead Drive. The man died so that others might live. The Ring of Honor is nice. A permanent retirement of the number is LONG overdue. Let's rectify this in 2010, ok?
* "You promise you won't lock my girlfriend in a port-a-potty and tip her over for that denver game, right? Right? Come on Stevo! Give me this at least!" -- Dusty J, Independence.
I promise that I, and my tailgating group, will show her the same respect, love, and admiration of her fanhood that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago. On that, you have my solemn vow.
* "But wait, you slapped a "he's really a Chiefs fan" Arrowhead on Russ, mocked him the whole walk in, and kept laughing at him in the pisser until midway through the second quarter, when he figured it out! So you're saying?" -- Tracey J, Raytown.
I'm saying, I will treat every denver fan at our tailgate with the same level of admiration, love, and respect that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago.
* "So you're saying, Dusty should bring a change of clothes." -- Mark S, South KC.
Bingo.
* "That's not cool." -- Carlito, Stamford CT.
Hey, my favorite wrestler checks in! Wait, Carlito is still wrestling, right? Its been like 3 years since I tuned into RAW ...
* "So what TV show are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Well, the obvious answer is, the final 18 episodes of "Lost" ... but nope. How can you top the return of my absolute favorite sleazy show from my high school and college years?
Melrose 2.0!!!
With Dr. Michael Mancini on board to boot!
You rate my household, champ, that show vaults to number one overnight. Especially if season one is really about "who actually killed Sydney", as is rumored to be the case ...
* "Are you ready to abandon the ship yet? This team (expletives deleted)!" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No.
* "Really? Are you f*cking retarded? Dude, the season's over! Time to focus on football!" -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
I am not mentally challeged due to physical defect. And the season is NOT over. Its in trouble, but not over.
* "Come on. You're just saying that so that you can get my better half's jello shots a couple more times this summer." -- Scott H, Liberty.
Wow, am I that obvious?
* "Your thoughts on KU Football this fall." -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Should go 4-0 non con. I love that 3 of our 4 non-cons are nationally televised ... but love even more that 2 of our 3 home non-cons start before noon! Hooray getting some sun in September! I look at the conference schedule like this:
Will win: vs ISU
Should win: at ksu, vs Nebraska, at Colorado
Coin flip: at Texas Tech, vs mizzou
Should lose: vs OU
Will lose: at Texas.
We split the coin flips, that should get us a tie for the North with Nebraska (who has OU at home, Tech at home, and OSU on the road, plus at mizzou, at KU). And a date in Reliant Stadium for the Big XII Title and a BCS berth for the 2nd time in 3 years. Seriously, pinch me already. Kansas Freaking Jayhawk Football is a contender for a BCS bowl! For the 2nd time in 3 years! This is just unreal.
* "How did you all not leave me at 311 last year?" -- Chris N, Plaza.
I have no idea pal. I don't even remember driving home. All I know is, when Dusty hands me back the keys because I'm the most sober of the bunch, that is NOT a good sign.
* "You still want the pic of me in the t-shirt turban with you at that concert?" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
F*ck yes I do! I've been asking for a copy of that for a year now pal! Come on. OK, lighting round.
* "Gut feeling, Chiefs record." -- Anthony V, Columbus Park.
2006 all over again. 9-7, steal a wildcard berth based on conference record (and a huge early December home win over Buffalo), and everyone else in the AFC bashing their heads against each other.
* "Gut feeling, NFL playoff teams three months before kickoff." -- Vineet T, Queens, NY.
NFC: Division champs Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks; wildcard Cowboys, Redskins.
AFC: Division champs Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers; wildcard Ravens, Chiefs.
Super Bowl: Eagles over Steelers.
* "So why do you hate my wife so much?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Because the Jasson I once knew and loved was hit repeatedly by a tire iron in the nuts by her. And because I hate half-eaten bags of Oreo's as a "tailgating contribution". No matter how bad off I am, I always bring a fresh bag champ. Always.
Finally ...
* "I no longer have to text "take your shirt off!" to you at Chiefs games!!! I can now yell it at you from 7 rows back!!!" -- Ashley G, Bonner Springs.
Doll, if you want to yell "take your shirt off!" to me at ANY point in time when its above 75 and sunny in that stadium, I am more than willing to meet my readers demands ...
Since I've got nothing better to do, I figured I'd blatantly plagerize the genre. As always, these are "actual emails" from my "actual readers". If you didn't appear, I apologize, I'll try to do better in version 2.0 ...
* "What are your thoughts on the Bucks first round draft pick (Brandon Jennings)?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
My thought is, its the best we could do.
There were three guys I really wanted at 10. Jordan Hill (F) from Arizona, DeMar DeRozan (G) from USC, and Jonny Flynn (G) from the 'Cuse! All three were gone before the Bucks went on the clock.
I was "watching" the draft at a family dinner. By "watching", I mean, my brother and I were staring intently at the TV in the corner, trying to figure out who picked who. After DeRozan went 9, I said "I want Jennings". I got my wish.
My thoughts on the pick are this: its the ultimate gamble. For that, I love it. This is THE home run swing of the draft. If Brandon Jennings plays to his potential, the Bucks have just drafted the face of the franchise for a decade or more. He's that talented. If he plays like a 19 year old for a few years, then its a catastrophe. But this is exactly what Milwaukee has to do to get back into the upper echelon of the Eastern Conference: take risks. Take gambles. I liked the pick for that reason alone, the Bucks took a chance at greatness rather than settling for mediocrity (like Austin Daye from Gonzaga or (gag me) Tyler Hansbrough from UNC).
* "What day this summer are you most looking forward to?" -- Megan K, Berlin.
Well, the obvious answer is, your homecoming tailgate in two weeks. But man, what a lineup still awaits the stretch run!
The Royals tailgate on the 18th for your homecoming. The first "Drew and Steve Tailgate the K! Who passes out drunk first!!!" day since Ayden was born the next day (email invites coming soon). The "100,000th oz / 250,000th oz / 300,000th oz / Not even Jesus can keep track of the oz this is" tailgate for me on the 24th! The Brickyard the week after that. Dave Matthews and Willie Nelson to close the summer out September 30th.
But without question, the answer is August 15th. The Chiefs preseason opener. Against Boomer Grigsby and the Houston Texans. I'm so stoked that I can hardly contain myself. If only it was a double-header day (damned Sports Complex remodel making that impossible for another year ...)
* "Are you still listening to that Nate Matthewson guy?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
Hell yes I am.
I'm up to a baker's dozen "will not delete" songs by him on the iPod: "I Saw", "Curve of the Earth", "Bent", "All Been Said Before", "Fall to Pieces", "More Than This", "Philadelphia Song", "Answering Machine", "Suspended", "Car Crash", "Falling Apart", "Heartbreak World", and of course, (mr. nathanson at the bottleneck last november voice) "the song, 'Come On Get Higher' (crowd voice) woo!". I haven't been this into an artist or band since ... uuh ... maybe Linkin Park when "Hybrid Theory" came out?
And oh yeah. I took your advice, and listened to the Sugarland version of "Come On Get Higher". I gotta be honest, I love Matt Nathanson's version. It's way better. The lyrics are just so amazing, just such a f*cking turn on when sung right ... and she kind of gets it. Not bad. Worth the listen, at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4dSHfe_HHQ
* "Your thoughts on Bill Weber getting sh*t canned by TNT?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
My thoughts? The guy just got fired for (allegedly) getting into a late night hotel bar fight! That's friggin awesome! My only thought is that I might need to rethink my position on him from my "Steve and Brett Broadcast NASCAR" proposal from three years ago:
-----
b. I am my audience. I think this is the biggest reason why TNT's broadcast blows. (Well that, and the total lack of talent they possess). Can you picture Bill Weber in the stands, shirt off, working his way through a 20 pack of Bud Light, cursing during driver intros, and just being a completely degenerate drunken idiot for an afternoon? Hell no.
But can you picture me doing that? I mean, seriously, (irl promo voice) I am NASCAR! I'm the fat overweight guy in the "more we get together" commercial whose chugging a Bud Light, using the binoculars to check out the rack in 115 ... I mean, the wreck in turn 2, and has the look of a drunken idiot who hasn't seen a shower in a week. I'm that guy. That's who the fans want to listen to, not some preppy white guy in a suit who reads off a teleprompter.
-----
Yeah. I'm that guy, with the shirt off, the beer in one hand, the jello shot in the other, screaming "woo!" every lap. Jesus, Indy can't get here soon enough. On to the next question, which coincidentally comes from another racing fan:
* "What do you think of Tony Stewart leading the points at this point?" -- Darren B, Raytown.
Its unbelievable. This is THE second biggest story in racing this year, behind Tony George hitting the curb with a "confident and classy" quote hanging in the background. The guy leaves one of NASCAR's power teams, forms his own team by buying out one of the also-rans ... and he's leading the friggin series in points, and is pretty much a lock for the Chase. And he's peaking heading to his favorite track. My head is spinning. Let's move on.
* "What Chiefs game are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Kellie B, KCK.
Wait. This is an actual question? The answer is ALWAYS "denver". The fact that Derrick Thomas' number will be formally retired has nothing to do with the answer, although it does strengthen it. And that reminds me ...
Why isn't 37 "officially" retired? I get that nobody has worn 37 since Joe Delaney heroically gave his life so that 3 young boys could live. But really, why isn't 37 OFFICIALLY retired? Someday in the future, some idiot is going to come along and take 37. And I'm going to be pissed as holy hell when he does. This is insane, One Arrowhead Drive. The man died so that others might live. The Ring of Honor is nice. A permanent retirement of the number is LONG overdue. Let's rectify this in 2010, ok?
* "You promise you won't lock my girlfriend in a port-a-potty and tip her over for that denver game, right? Right? Come on Stevo! Give me this at least!" -- Dusty J, Independence.
I promise that I, and my tailgating group, will show her the same respect, love, and admiration of her fanhood that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago. On that, you have my solemn vow.
* "But wait, you slapped a "he's really a Chiefs fan" Arrowhead on Russ, mocked him the whole walk in, and kept laughing at him in the pisser until midway through the second quarter, when he figured it out! So you're saying?" -- Tracey J, Raytown.
I'm saying, I will treat every denver fan at our tailgate with the same level of admiration, love, and respect that we showed Russ at Texas Stadium four years ago.
* "So you're saying, Dusty should bring a change of clothes." -- Mark S, South KC.
Bingo.
* "That's not cool." -- Carlito, Stamford CT.
Hey, my favorite wrestler checks in! Wait, Carlito is still wrestling, right? Its been like 3 years since I tuned into RAW ...
* "So what TV show are you most looking forward to this fall?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Well, the obvious answer is, the final 18 episodes of "Lost" ... but nope. How can you top the return of my absolute favorite sleazy show from my high school and college years?
Melrose 2.0!!!
With Dr. Michael Mancini on board to boot!
You rate my household, champ, that show vaults to number one overnight. Especially if season one is really about "who actually killed Sydney", as is rumored to be the case ...
* "Are you ready to abandon the ship yet? This team (expletives deleted)!" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No.
* "Really? Are you f*cking retarded? Dude, the season's over! Time to focus on football!" -- Heath C, Harrisonville.
I am not mentally challeged due to physical defect. And the season is NOT over. Its in trouble, but not over.
* "Come on. You're just saying that so that you can get my better half's jello shots a couple more times this summer." -- Scott H, Liberty.
Wow, am I that obvious?
* "Your thoughts on KU Football this fall." -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Should go 4-0 non con. I love that 3 of our 4 non-cons are nationally televised ... but love even more that 2 of our 3 home non-cons start before noon! Hooray getting some sun in September! I look at the conference schedule like this:
Will win: vs ISU
Should win: at ksu, vs Nebraska, at Colorado
Coin flip: at Texas Tech, vs mizzou
Should lose: vs OU
Will lose: at Texas.
We split the coin flips, that should get us a tie for the North with Nebraska (who has OU at home, Tech at home, and OSU on the road, plus at mizzou, at KU). And a date in Reliant Stadium for the Big XII Title and a BCS berth for the 2nd time in 3 years. Seriously, pinch me already. Kansas Freaking Jayhawk Football is a contender for a BCS bowl! For the 2nd time in 3 years! This is just unreal.
* "How did you all not leave me at 311 last year?" -- Chris N, Plaza.
I have no idea pal. I don't even remember driving home. All I know is, when Dusty hands me back the keys because I'm the most sober of the bunch, that is NOT a good sign.
* "You still want the pic of me in the t-shirt turban with you at that concert?" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
F*ck yes I do! I've been asking for a copy of that for a year now pal! Come on. OK, lighting round.
* "Gut feeling, Chiefs record." -- Anthony V, Columbus Park.
2006 all over again. 9-7, steal a wildcard berth based on conference record (and a huge early December home win over Buffalo), and everyone else in the AFC bashing their heads against each other.
* "Gut feeling, NFL playoff teams three months before kickoff." -- Vineet T, Queens, NY.
NFC: Division champs Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks; wildcard Cowboys, Redskins.
AFC: Division champs Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers; wildcard Ravens, Chiefs.
Super Bowl: Eagles over Steelers.
* "So why do you hate my wife so much?" -- Jasson W, Lenexa.
Because the Jasson I once knew and loved was hit repeatedly by a tire iron in the nuts by her. And because I hate half-eaten bags of Oreo's as a "tailgating contribution". No matter how bad off I am, I always bring a fresh bag champ. Always.
Finally ...
* "I no longer have to text "take your shirt off!" to you at Chiefs games!!! I can now yell it at you from 7 rows back!!!" -- Ashley G, Bonner Springs.
Doll, if you want to yell "take your shirt off!" to me at ANY point in time when its above 75 and sunny in that stadium, I am more than willing to meet my readers demands ...
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