Sunday, September 28, 2008

for one day, one final, magnificent, glorious day ...

I honestly ... I don't know where to begin. And for once, this is a good thing. I literally cried when Tony G caught the touchdown pass, to go up 23-13. Perfectly thrown where only he could have gotten it, to put us up 10. I literally sat down in my seat and cried. Just the thought of winning, just the idea that this long national nightmare of 12 straight losses, 344 days of victory-less football, just the concept that it could end, drove me to tears.

So let's just say, when LJ took a simple handoff up the middle ... and broke tackle, after tackle, after tackle, and rumbled 16 yards for the game clinching score with 1:54 to go, let's just say that section 132, row 26 wasn't hurting for water. There was plenty coming out of the eyes of the guy in seat 2.

For one day. One final, magnificent, glorious day of the Carl Peterson era ...

Arrowhead f*cking rocked.

Let's do this.

* As evidenced by my previous post today, I was wide awake at 4:26am. I was ready. And I wasn't the only one; the tailgating bus was 5th in line at 6:54am when we pulled in line at Arrowhead. Yes, this team is down and yes, 2008 appears to be a lost cause ... but the die hards, we're still here. We don't back down. We don't give up.

* A large portion of our tailgating group was out at the race today. Which is cool. I won't fault anyone for skipping a Chiefs game for NASCAR.

* Because I got literally 6 text messages today during tailgating asking me "you at the race or the game?" I could be on life support, and I'd still find a way to be wheeled to my seat for denver folks. Its the f*cking denver broncos!

* The weather today ... Good Lord. How do you top this for September 28th? Pushing 90 degrees. Not a cloud in the sky. I'll put it this way: when I'm not the only person at tailgate with a shirt off, you KNOW its a perfect Steve Day.

* Tailgating was solid. Like I said, consolidated group, but Dusty, Damien, Mark, Mark's significant other (sorry don't remember her name), Amy, and some donkeys chick added to the fun. And by "added to the fun", I mean "Steve wasn't even close to being the most confident person KC would win today". Mark beat me by a country mile in his optimism.

* KC Wolf's sketch: hideous. Nice to see he learned nothing from last week's solid effort, and reverted back to the tried and failed routines of the last 15 years.

* The Anthem. (steve pausing for a moment ...) When I got the text at 10:58am that said "Ida McBeth", I nearly wet my pants. I can't even put into words how seriously awesome Ms. McBeth is. When she took the mic, I started fist pumping, wooing, just going crazy. The guy next to me was like "what the hell"? Two words man. Ida. McBeth. Seriously, why can't we just declare that only three people can ever do the Anthem at Arrowhead (Ms. McBeth, the Rev. Hal Weeks, and Patti DiParto-Livergood), and just be done with it. Her rendition today ... just inspiring. Absolutely inspiring. As good as it gets.

* Chiefs win the toss, choose to receive. I'd personally prefer we defer, but hey, you take victory wherever you can get it when you haven't won in 344 days.

* That first drive was just a thing of beauty. We threw it once, on 3rd and goal. Every other play was cramming it down the donkeys throat. They gagged and allowed a field goal.

* the defense. Good God did Gun's guys show up today or what? They bent, they only broke once, on an incredible marshall TD catch that was just an incredible throw by cutler, but they kept getting turnovers. Kept holding denver to field goals. That's the Gunther Cunningham defense I know and love.

* ok, I'm all about rolling with the punches, and God knows I poke more fun at myself than anyone alive ... but how do you respond to this series of text messages:

11:45:10am: shirt still on?
(response) yes 4 now its hot though.
11:47:44am: I am waiting for it to get stripped off!...
(response) sweet!
11:51:48am: Love ya!!

Now, I don't even know who the f*ck is texting me this at this point. I (incorrectly) assumed it was Jennifer borrowing Steve's (not me) phone.

Then, again:

12:26:21pm: I'm waiting!

Finally, at 1:09:21pm, from Gregg: "Ashley wants to see you shirtless".
My response: "Is she drunk?"

Really. I don't know what the hell got into her ... but she got her wish at halftime. It was that damned hot in the lower bowl.

Which led to her final text midway through the 4th quarter (and how it took her over an hour to figure out I was going John Thompson-style and draping the shirt over the shoulder to bite down on, I don't know ...):

3:11:11pm: ooh yea, thats what i have been waiting all day for!
(response) glad I could satisfy u.

So ... either we're up to three confirmed living, breathing, legitimate chicks who officially think I'm hot as hell and are totally turned on by the sight of me ... or my sex life is a bigger joke than even I think it is.

(it has to be the first. It HAS to be. Come on, work with me people! "that's what i have been waiting all day for!" You don't lie about sh*t like that right? Right? (crickets chirping ...))

Anyways, it was pretty funny, at least to me. Because anyone who knows me knows I won't be appearing in an Abercrombie catalog anytime soon. That, and for one brief moment, I actually was like "wow, someone wants me to take it off?!?! Jesus, I don't even need an internet site to find a, uuh, adult friend!!! Sweet! I rock!"

* Damien promised he was moving over to experience the donkeys game "Steve style". He never made it. Sucks to be him. I was in full on meltdown mode most of the second half.

* Your Price Chopper Section of the Game? That wins a fabulous tailgating pack? You guessed it. 1. 3. 2. Awesome. We currently have 9 of those coupons ready to use for a game later this year. The less money we spend to watch this team struggle, the better.

* For the record, I hit my knees to pray three times today. Our first field goal (good!) The donkeys 28 yard attempt (no good!) And our 48 yarder to open the 4th quarter to go up 10 (good!!!) It wasn't quite "Steve kneeling for the Golden Toe to beat denver in overtime" levels, but hey, again, you go winless for 343 days, you take what you can get.

* Postgame, and yes I'm skipping a lot of the game but I want to really review it before recapping it in detail ... postgame, I just stand in my spot for a solid 30, 45 seconds. I literally was crying. Finally Russ patted me on the back and was like "the beer's colder at the bus!" Yes. Yes it was.

I darted off to the bano to, uuh, relieve myself, and to refill the water bottle (yes, incredibly enough, I did not purchase an adult beverage during the game. Emphasis on the word "purchase", trust me, I consumed some between the three flasks floating around the confluence of 131 / 132 ...) Anyways, after a couple minutes at the trough and the water fountain, I started the climb up the spiral ramp. And the Tomahawk Chop chants were just flying around. You could actually hear them still up at the bus 10 minutes later. Don't tell me this town doesn't love its team. Just give us a reason to hope, and we'll believe.

* I got to the bus, t-shirt draped John Thompson style, covered in sweat and bite marks from stress ... and there's Dusty. "We f*cking did it!" Nothing says "first win in 344 days" like a freaking man hug with the roommate.

* Damien was next. "Un f*cking believable!" Another man hug and high fives all around.

* Russ and Mona next. Although we'd shared many a hug, high five, and hit off the flask prior to the postgame reunion. It never gets old. The Chiefs winning. The postgame tailgate. None of it ever gets old. Win or lose ... oh yeah. We still booze!

* The traditional postgame hug with Jennifer up next.

* Then the moment it all sinks in, which as always results in me grabbing a Coors Light out of the cooler, walking over to the walkway, starting to high five randoms as they walk by ... and I just have to sit. With a massive, ain't leaving anytime soon, sh*t eating grin on my face.

That grin is still on there, four hours later. I assume it will still be on there tomorrow. Because for one day, as Herm Edwards so brilliantly put it:

"I told mike (shanahan) he has a helluva team. But for one today, for today, we were better than you!"

We were better than denver. For one day, for three hours, 29 minutes and change, we were better than denver. For one magical afternoon, in the infamous words of Kevin Harlan, "Not even Santa Claus could save the denver broncos today!!!"

We were better than denver. (steve drooling with delirium ...)

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