It’s a (outhouse dj voice) “What the f*ck, it’s just a buck!” Friday! And what other song could possibly convey the feelings of the season so far, this fluky, miraculous, "how the eff are we pulling this off" season so far, other than …
“When the moment of truth finally comes,
She gives me a look, and then comes undone.
She says “Looks like we’re lucky – someone’s smiling down!”
She grabs her coat and says “see ya around”
Yeah these days, the rabbit doesn’t lie,
He’s just sitting around waiting on two pink lines,
Sitting around waiting on two pink lines …”
“Two Pink Lines” by Eric Church
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Last Week SU: 6-8-0.
Season to Date SU: 57-47-0.
Last Week ATS: 8-6-0.
Season to Date ATS: 51-48-5.
Last Week Upset / Week: are you effing kidding me? How the hell can replay not determine who has the ball in the end zone? Someone from Gene Stenatore’s crew should have been fired over that debacle. I had Miami’s upset win nailed. Had it effing nailed!
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-6.
This Week’s Upset / Week: well, in the words of Jimmy Buffett:
“But there’s booze in the blender!
And soon it will render!
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on!”
Remember those words come 3:30pm on Sunday, Arrowhead Nation. If you think this game is a layup ... well, there's a reason why I'm picking Bills (+7 1/2) to win outright ... and that reason is Todd Haley's biggest mistake of his coaching career ...
The Non-Chiefs, Non-Jets Predictions:
(damn sportsline.com odds making everything a ½ point for the official odds …)
* Dolphins (+1 ½) 31, at Bengals 20.
* Jaguars (+6 ½) 34, at Cowboys 3.
* Redskins (+2 ½) 14, at Lions 10.
* donkeys (-1 ½) 45, 49ers 13 (in London).
* at Rams (-3 ½) 31, Panthers 13.
* Titans (+3 ½) 26, Chargers 24.
* at Cardinals (-3 ½) 20, Bucs 10.
* at Patriots (-5 ½) 69, Vikings 0.
* Seahawks (+2 ½) 3, raiders 2.
* at Saints (+1 ½) 28, Steelers 24.
* at Colts (-5 ½) 34, Titans 27.
The Jets Prediction:
Somehow, someway, I’m feeling this season is going to come down to January 23rd at Arrowhead. Jets! Chiefs! My worst nightmare!
Actually, who am I kidding? That’s my dream. The Chiefs, at home, playing to bring Lamar’s Trophy home. If we won that game, you’d need a forklift, a backhoe, and five SEIU thugs to get me out of my seat come Tuesday morning, I’d literally be crying for two straight days if the Chiefs won that game.
The Jets face a tough one this week. A semi-desperate Packers team that, if they steal this one, is facing a now layup-win over Dallas next week, then the bye. The Packers can all but clinch the NFC North if they win this one.
The last time Green Bay visited the Jets in the swamps of Jersey? Week 17 2002. Possibly the funnest game a Jets fan could remember. In case you’ve forgotten … or just didn’t give a sh*t … the Dolphins entered the week at 9-6, visiting the 8-7 Patriots. The 8-7 Jets had tiebreaker advantage over both. So if the Pats could somehow win, the Jets controlled their own destiny in the AFC East.
Coach Herm (a man I will always love. Sorry Chiefs nation, the guy was nowhere near as bad as you all make him out to be), Coach had demanded that not one moment of Miami / New England make its way to the Meadowlands faithful. The Dolphins led 24-13 with 3 minutes to play. Lights out, party over. (The Jets also could have back-doored their way in if Atlanta had beaten Cleveland. Didn’t happen).
Somehow, someway, the Pats rally. A touchdown. A two point conversion. A three and out. A field goal. We’re going to overtime!
And about midway through the second quarter, the scoreboard operator decided “screw Coach”, and put up on the video board the live feed from CBS, Adam Vinatieri lining up in overtime to win the game. The Meadowlands went silent … then ape sh*t crazy as they realized what this meant. (The Jets / Packers score at that point was 7-7, Jets had a 2nd and 10 at their own 37). Coach Herm, possibly p*ssed, probably rattled, calls timeout. As he, Chad Pennington (my favorite NFL player), and others huddle on the sideline, you can’t help but watch. The kick … it’s good! It’s good! Pats win!
And this … is the moment I’ll never forget. Coach Herm grabs Pennington by the face mask, and screams into his face “go win us a championship!” The very next play … Pennington to Santana (do do do doo doo!) Moss, 63 yards. Touchdown. The Meadowlands never shut up after that. It kept getting louder and louder and louder. Jets 42, Packers 14.
This game … won’t even remotely resemble that one.
Packers (+6 ½) 41, at Jets 30. The more desperate team wins.
The Chiefs Prediction:
Believe it or not … the Chiefs have played at home the last two times the (tony bruno voice) National … Football League! has played on Halloween.
And both have been memorable.
The first, in 1999, was the famous “Brandsmart Game”. Chiefs 31, Chargers 0. A game in which the late, great Brandsmart offered anyone who purchased $400 plus from them a free purchase, if the Chiefs shut out the Chargers at home on Halloween. I think the loudest Arrowhead ever got in the Gunther era, was midway through the 4th quarter in that game, when down 24-0, the Chargers went for a 4th and goal at the 3.
The second, in 2004, is one of the 2 or 3 funnest games of the Dick Vermeil era. Chiefs 45, Colts 35. It was a game that briefly threw the Chiefs back into the playoff chase, a game that attempted to erase the painful loss from 10 months earlier to the same team on the same field, and that was just sweet to witness, as the Chiefs won because alleged clutch performer peyton manning completely unraveled in the 4th quarter, tossing two picks to seal his defeat.
The third, being Sunday? Will not be easy. In the interest of full disclosure, there are a few coaches in this league, that I absolutely love, for no obvious, apparent reason. (Well, in this guy’s case, it is apparent).
Wayne Fontes is my favorite head coach ever. Anytime your owner drops the “well, he didn’t quit, and I didn’t fire him” confirmation that the dude is returning, that’s awesome. Plus, you have to love Rasputin.
Herm Edwards, I’ll defend to anyone. Every Jets team he had where the starting quarterback at least made 8 starts, he made the playoffs. He went 2-3 in the postseason. He accomplished as much in 16 games (reach the playoffs once and lose to Indy once he got there) as Dick Vermeil did in 80. I still, to this day, firmly believe that if Carl Peterson had embraced the obvious (2006 was the last gasp, not 2007), he and Herm would still be running things here … and we’d be at least 4-2 right now, just like we are.
(I’m perfectly fine with the current regime, but let’s be real – if we weren’t 4-2 at this point, given who we’ve faced, the talent on the roster, and again, who we’ve faced, someone should be fired).
The third guy in the “trifecta” of “not nearly as bad as you think” coaches?
Chan Gailey.
I lived in Dallas for the “Gailey era”. He took over the crumbling ruins of the 1990s Cowboys … and somehow went 2 for 2 in making the playoffs. Somehow, guiding a team running on fumes into the playoffs twice (going 8-0 in the division in 1998, again, 8-0 in the NFC East, unreal), somehow, that got him fired.
He went to Georgia Tech next … and somehow went 7 for 7 in making a bowl game. Yet that got him fired from “perennial national powerhouse” Georgia Tech.
Those two stops were preceded … by being Pittsburgh’s offensive coordinator. Do the yearly math folks. He was OC for the Steelers from 1995-1997. The Steelers won the AFC Central all three years, and unbelievably, this guy, this Chan Gailey dude? Turned not one, but TWO god awful Steelers QBs into Pro Bowlers. Neil O’Donnell and Kordell Stewart.
Before that? He called the plays in denver. Doesn’t take much to turn the (steve puking from acknowledging the obvious) greatest QB (hang on, still puking …) in NFL history (now bashing myself with a tire iron …) into a Pro Bowler and (kellie, just put me out of my misery, please. i’m sure there’s a knife you can stab me with …) Hall of Famer … but the dude milked a 9-7 season out of rotating quarterbacks! Remember the m&m boys? tommy maddux and shaun moore? They literally rotated plays. denver went 9-7.
(Also unstated? 2000, he was Dave Wannstedt’s OC in Miami. The Dolphins won the AFC East, won a playoff game over alleged all-time-great peyton manning … and Gailey did it with Jay Fiedler under center, and Lamar Smith in the backfield. This guy can flat out coach!)
And in case you’ve forgotten … 2008 here in Kansas City. Remember Tyler Thigpen? Somehow, Chan Gailey took a horrific Chiefs team, and made it competitive on offense. Seriously, browse the archives of Chiefs history and look at our 2008 roster. There’s no way in hell that’s a top 10 offense. And yet, it was, thanks to Chan.
Part of me wants Chan to come in here, and absolutely embarrass this team. This guy is a damned good coach. The Bills will not roll over and play dead on Sunday. This is going to be a last-team-standing type of game.
You laugh now … but watch it unfold. We need every legitimate Chiefs fan in the stands on Sunday. Don’t sit at home and watch this if you can show up in person. If you need a place to tailgate, you know where we are. (Just north of the G30 sign on the grass). We’ll save you as many spot(s) as you need. We need a rocking, filled up Arrowhead. The Bills have won 3 of their last 4 in this stadium. And none of those previous 4 Bills teams was even remotely as competently coached as this one is.
Be loud. Do your part. Show up early. Be prepared to stay late. The division is ours for the taking … provided we win the games like this one. Don’t fool yourself. This is NOT going to be a cakewalk.
(Again, barring kid duty or economic destitution, what’s your excuse to not show up? As someone fully embracing and endorsing the destruction of the Democratic Party as it exists, and knowing at least 3 regulars who have had kids born in the last 3 months … those are legit reasons to crap out. Anything else? Don’t dare call yourself a die-hard if you bail on Sunday. Because you aren’t).
Sadly, my gut says too many of you won’t show up. Too many of you will take the easy way out, thinking the couch beats a hard-back seat in the lower bowl.
Maybe after this one, you’ll get it. Because come Sunday night, the division is going to be a coin flip between us and the donkeys, with both sides controlling their own destiny. (And the donkeys getting two weeks to prep for us in round one of the "winner takes all" AFC West showdown).
Nothing is going to come easy for these guys. If you want a home playoff game, if you want a division championship, if you are as desperate for this team to be a factor as I am … you get your ass into a seat on Sunday and prove me wrong.
Bills (+7 ½) 31, Chiefs 28.
Sweet Jesus, I pray my gut is wrong …
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
chiefs! jaguars! where "i love beer" boxers happens ...
10:30ish, pregame tailgating:
(katie) aw there he is! Finally!
(castro) (wanders in)
(castro) hey! Want a shot? (holds up his half empty tequila bottle)
(katie) yup!
(mona) sure!
(steve) uuh, no thanks.
(castro) (pouring shots) This is my third bottle today!
(steve) (shaking head in laughing admiration) sweet Jesus!
(tailgaters) (do shots)
(steve) we need a new song.
(steve) (heads over to stereo)
(steve) (changes cd)
(steve) I think I picked a winner ...
(cue the music)
"She said I'm going out with my girlfriends,
For margaritas at the Holiday Inn.
Lord have mercy! My only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off ..."
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Five years ago, a movie came out that should have completely and totally had me in the theater on opening afternoon. An uplifiting, inspirational true-life story about a 30 year old walk-on for the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1970s. An average dude, with not much going for him -- his wife had just left him, he was unemployed in the midst of an economic crisis, all he had was his buddies at the bar, his Eagles, and his dad.
That movie, of course, is "Invincible", and it really is every bit as great as I thought it would be. Only, for three plus years, I refused to watch it. Because, and this is Steve logic at its finest, I refused to watch it because "It'll put Coach Vermeil in a positive light".
So, after boycotting this thing because I refused to even contemplate the idea that Dick Vermeil might not be so bad after all, I was sitting on the old couch one evening, no doubt after a few adult beverages, and noticed "Invincible" was playing on one of the Encore channels. After scanning the programming guide and not seeing one other thing on worth watching, I figured "why not", and decided to give it a try.
And absolutely loved it. Loved it so much, I drove to Target afterwards and bought the dvd.
But my favorite scene? Easy. There's a running plot line in the movie (and if you haven't seen it, screw the "spoiler alert" standards. This thing has been in release for five years. I'm not spoiling a thing here), there's a running plot line that the greatest moment in Vince's dad's life, was Norm Van Brocklin's touchdown in 1948, to give the Eagles the NFL
championship. (Their only NFL Championship). There's even a scene on his dad's front porch, where he notes to Vince "that touchdown got me through 30 years at the factory, through your mom being sick and dying, through the
strikes, through everything bad that happened".
Needless to say, it's a big moment that had a big impact on that guy's life.
So as the movie goes along, Vince makes the team. After conning his buddy into picking him up after practice (another great scene in a movie loaded with them), they head off to the bar. Vince walks in, the news had already arrived that he made it, he's an Eagle. The place is packed. Everybody starts cheering, clapping, applauding, giving him congratulations. All deserved, of course. I mean, come on, a 30 year old nobody from South Philly has just made it to the National Football League. And finally, his dad arrives. The guy's a ... he's a grizzled veteran, I'll put it that way. A grizzled veteran. He looks exactly like what a 50ish dude in South Philly should look like. He's not emotional, to put it mildly.
He sees his son, walks up, hugs him ... and with tears in his eyes, says the greatest compliment he can give his kid.
"Normie Van Brocklin's got nothing on you kid".
I open with "Invincible" today for three reasons.
(1) The 1995 Chiefs, my favorite Chiefs team of all time, might have nothing on these guys by the time this season is through.
(2) Sometimes, the things you love the most in life, come into your life when you least expect it. Oh, and
(3) as I texted Damien yesterday, "I love being wrong".
The 2010 Chiefs are better than even I thought they could be. And I'm the crazy guy who picked them to comfortably win the division back in September. People, this team is NOT a fluke. This is a legitimate threat in the AFC. Not just the division -- the conference. These guys are for real. I'm absolutely and completely in love with these guys. I'm not just piloting the bandwagon at this point out of duty like over the past couple seasons -- I'm begging, pleading, threatening, whatever it takes, to get folks to climb on board. There's no reason to not believe folks. None. There's not one legitimate reason other than kid duty and/or economic destitution to avoid coming out to Arrowhead next Sunday, and every home game going forward.
This is a damned good football team that is only going to get better. Yes, you read that correctly. This team has not only not even begun to show their peak potential, this is the low point. Right now, this is the worst the Chiefs are going to be for at least the next three, four, five years. We won't be worse at any point in the next few years, than we are right now. Doesn't that at least put a smile on your face? You're seeing rock bottom for the foreseeable future. And rock bottom is a 42-20 ass kicking of a decent Jaguars squad!
And as for point three? "I love being wrong"?
There's a man in the Chiefs organization, a pretty powerful and influencial dude, who I affectionaly have dubbed "Coach Asshat". Our head coach, Todd Haley.
Todd ... God bless it, man. I love being wrong!
I'll get into the exact moment Todd Haley went from "Coach Asshat" to "Steve hasn't had a mancrush this ridiculous since his insane infatuation with Jon Scheyer" status, as well as hit the highlights of a day the Chiefs might have all but wrapped up the division, in the recap below ...
* Arrived at the stadium at about 7am. I think it was 6:58 if I remember right. And we weren't even close to being the first in line. We actually were 3 back of the gate. I think Chiefs fans are starting to figure out that it's ok to hop back on the bandwagon ...
* Carl extended his "winning streak" with the parking attendants to about 135. Gotta love the guy.
* Had no issues with getting the bus parked this week. The parking nazis are starting to lighten up, finally. Although the ridiculous orange cones were still everywhere. Someone noted that "this is more retarded than the tape", and I have to agree with them. At least the tape gave you some direction on where they wanted you to go. The cones are just annoying.
* The menu yesterday was breakfast. Really solid biscuits and gravy, some sausages, scrambled eggs. Topped off by some bloody mary's, screwdrivers, and beer mosas.
* My only complaint was the weather. Really, weather gods? We can't have one home game where its nice, sunny, and pleasant from arrival to departure? Is that asking too much? The Chiefs haven't played a home game that I would define as "ideal weather conditions" from arrival to departure since we kicked denver to the curb in 2008. One home game in the high 70s with the sun shining from 6am to 5pm. That's all I'm asking. Just one.
* Apple pie shots! Courtesy of our tailgating neighbors in the white bus. Holy cow, that's good stuff.
* Speaking of good stuff ... the chocolate alcohol-fueled whipped cream bottle. Funniest moment was when the grandma at the bus next door started taking shots of it. I didn't want any part of it -- for starters, I'm probably the only person alive that doesn't like chocolate. That, and I didn't want to get on my knees and have something sprayed into my mouth. But I promised if the Chiefs won, I'd take a shot. I live up to my bets. Best shot of the day, by far. As I noted, "If this is all it takes to get the Chiefs to win, I'll buy the f*cking bottle myself".
* Pretty small, tame group yesterday. Tyler wasn't there, he had prior obligations. But the other six core riders were there, plus a few folks that Will brought along.
* Another funny moment? When Katie realized that "I'm not the youngest person here!" A couple of the folks Will brought were only 21. Dear God, "only" 21. When I turned 21, nobody had even heard of Monica Lewinsky yet. Oy.
* Had a fun conversation with one of them, not Jared, not the chick, but the 21 year old dude with the beard who came. I'd be lying if I said I remembered his name, so in the long-standing tradition established by my buddy Gregg, I'm gonna call him "Phil".
"Phil" was noting that he couldn't remember the last time the Chiefs were good. I thought "holy crap, this guy is so young, the 90s mean nothing to him!" I also replied, "you think that's rough? The last time the Chiefs won a playoff game, I was in high school. And I'll be 34 before this season ends!" The guy just stared at me with a "wow, you're that old?!?!" look. Oy. Yes, yes I am that old. I've literally lived half of my life since the Chiefs last won a playoff game. "Lord have mercy, my only thought ..." was that I should have hit Castro's tequila bottle.
* I'm telling you, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" is just golden. It's like "Friends in Low Places" or "Margaritaville" or "Sweet Caroline" or "It's Beer Thirty, and I'm Beer Thirsty", it just inspires everyone to sing along. I think that's the new tailgating cd I'll burn for the Buffalo game (since we need a new one), awesome sing-along classics. I might even put a song by "Steve's Most Hated Band Ever" on there. You know I'm in a good mood when I actually consider purchasing a song on iTunes by the Black Eyed Peas ...
* The walk into the stadium, we encountered the Springfield chick and her husband who sit two rows in front of us. She was already obliterated, and it wasn't even noon yet. We'll come back to this in a little bit.
* Just like Carl has his "winning streak" with the parking attendants, my "winning streak" with the flask getting through security is still intact. It's getting to be Harlem Globetrotter-esque, in that security has yet to defeat me, despite years of trying.
* After a good conversation with Gregg and Gordon on the walk down to my seat, I finally arrive, and it's an emotional moment, as I give Chris a big hug. Chiefs Nation, keep keeping Greg (her husband) in your thoughts and prayers. He's got a long, long road to recovery, and every little good-will thought helps.
* The National Anthem. Uuh, not bad. Not too shabby. Although I'd never heard of the "national recording artist" they brought in to perform it. Sunny something, some country band. It must not take much to become a "national recording artist", I guess. That, or I need to expand my listening horizon beyond Ben Harper, Dave Matthews, and late 70s stuff.
* Missed KC Wolf's sketch. I doubt I missed anything worth seeing.
* Did get really excited though, walking down the aisle. There, in the east end zone? What should have been there for the Chargers game. Could not stop grinning when I saw the block letter C, H, I, E, F, and S. All filled up with balloons. I freely admit, "Steve Logic" makes zero sense. Example -- I hate flyovers with a passion. They're the single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind. I've even booed a few flyovers, and man, that gets you some dirty looks, let me tell you. You'd think we lived in two of the reddest of red states in the nation, and I was a liberal Democrat, given some of the looks I get if I don't openly cheer for a military flyover. (On second though ... all of that last sentence is true, so what do I know).
On the other hand though -- I love balloon launches. Don't know why, I just do. The launch at Indy as Jim Nabors "dreams about the moonlight on the Wabash" is my favorite moment of that race every year. Even more so than the race itself, even more than Florence Henderson's awe-inspiring rendition of "God Bless America", even more than the insane all-night party that consumes all of Speedway, Indiana the night before (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: anytime you're at a place where you can sit on the curb, drinking from an open container, enjoying a tobacco-like product that hopefully will be legalized in California in eight days, and the cops walk by and don't do a thing? That's a cool place to be).
This balloon launch didn't disappoint. Loved seeing the pink balloons flying up into the air as the Chiefs ran out of the tunnel. Awesome moment. If they want to make the balloon launch a weekly thing, I'd be thrilled.
* Another cool moment -- the coin toss. Your honorary Chiefs captain was a six year old kid battling brain cancer. I'm guessing he hasn't had many good moments in his life up to this point, and I fear he doesn't have a whole lot of time left to make some good moments in his life. When the camera panned to the kid as KC Wolf walked him out there though, he had the biggest smile you could imagine. I actually teared up a little bit. That was cool.
* Brad Meester, the Jags center, his entire family and then some was sitting on my left. They took up a huge chunk of four freaking rows. That's representing.
* Gotta give Jags starting quarterback Todd Bouman a lot of credit. (Apparently his wife and kids were sitting five rows in front of Gregg, and yeah, Todd definitely punted well beyond his coverage with her). The crowd was into it from the opening kickoff yesterday, and despite his offensive line being unable to pass block competently, despite having no ground game to support him, Bouman made plays, he kept his team in the game. I was impressed. For a dude who just signed on Monday and hadn't made a start in the league in five years, he played really well.
* Fortunately, our quarterback played even better. There was not one moment on Sunday when I thought "what the hell is Cassel doing"? Again, go back to my opening point in this ramble, and the same is true for Cassel, what is true for this team. Right now, this is rock bottom. This is as bad as Matt Cassel is ever going to be for the very foreseeable future. Call me crazy, but I can live with this.
* My only real complaint Chiefs related yesterday, is that once again, clock management is an issue. I have no idea why we wasted three timeouts yesterday. (Going back to last week, I still have no idea why we didn't call timeout when the Texans had goal-to-go to save 40 seconds on the clock). This could be a problem at some point this season. You can waste one timeout in the half and still be ok, because of the two minute warning. But none of the three timeouts yesterday that Haley called made an ounce of sense. Gotta clean that up guys. That, or I'm pretty sure Mike White
isn't doing anything, make a call and bring him back to oversee these things.
* Thomas Jones! 70 yard run! And ... tackled at the four. The touchdown scored two plays later by Jamaal Charles. And that, in a nutshell, is why my fantasy team is 1-5.
* The first 4th down decision. It's Jags 10, Chiefs 7. Chiefs have 4th and 1 at the Jags 2 at the two minute warning. The Chiefs choose not to take the points, and decide to go for it.
I was completely fine with that decision. I know I'm the guy who notes that "you always take the point early. If you don't, it will always bite you in the ass". But in that case, the Chiefs had two outs, which is why going for it was the right decision. One of course is if you score the touchdown. The other out? You can still get a first down without scoring.
Which is exactly what happened. They got the first, but not the six points. However, the very next play, the Chiefs scored to take the lead, a lead they'd never relinquish despite the official's best efforts.
* OK, let's deal with the shady officiating. I say "shady", in that neither pass interference call was even close to legitimate.
Let's start with the second one, because the first one, I believe, changed the course of the game, and caused a dramatic Joey Lawrence Memorial "Whoa!" moment in my view towards an employee of this team.
That, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell we did to draw the flag on the second call.
Chiefs 21, Jags 13. Not even a minute into the 3rd quarter. The Chiefs took the opening kick and scored on two plays -- a TJ run for seven, then a great D Bowe catch and breaking-tackle-after-tackle run after the catch for the touchdown. Arrowhead is rocking. It's insane loud in there. Its 2nd and 12 at the Jags 40. There's only two plays to consider calling there that make sense -- either a delayed draw to Jones-Drew up the middle, or air it out. The Jags air it out, Bouman throwing it down the right sideline. The Jags receiver pushes off on Eric Berry. He literally shoves Berry out of the way. The fans as one start screaming for a flag. If you were to look up on Wikipedia what the definition of offensive pass interference is, they'd have a link to this play as the visual evidence of what it is. The flag comes out. The fans start cheering.
Jerome Boger takes the mic. "Pass interference. Defen --" And the boos start reigning down.
The Sports Guy noted on Twitter how ridiculous this call was, for crying out loud.
The Jags score, they're in business, now 21-20 after a couple more plays. What was cool though, was that after every play, the boos rang out. Loudly. Earl Hebner and Tim Donaghy jokes were being cracked, that's how awful the officiating was. I even dropped the "what, is this KU / Texas from 2004 all over again? Is the league that desperate to keep us out of the playoffs?" blast.
Fortunately, this play didn't kill us. But it could have. And it was atrociously officiated.
* The first defensive pass interference, look it, I thought it was horsesh*t. I dropped the "god f*cking dammit" blast that I reserve for only my most p*ssed off of moments. I was furious. It gave the Jags a 1st and goal at the 1, with less than 20 seconds left in the half. I could already see how this was going to unfold, because let's face it, we've all been witnesses to some pretty crappy football the last few years. We've seen this before. Chiefs putting up a fight, have a horsesh*t call go against them, and then collapse, while the coaching staff either (a) shows no emotion, or (b) compounds the mistake by overreacting to the call.
After the call, I looked to the Chiefs sideline. Haley was there, it was obvious he was p*ssed just by looking at his face. "Here we go", I thought.
Only ... his next reaction was entirely not what I expected.
He ran onto the field a little bit ... and started clapping his hands, screaming "come on guys! Hold them!" to the defense. He even used a couple forward fist pumps to encourage the guys.
And in section 132, row 26, seat 14, this still hot-as-hell 33 year old got chills.
Coach Asshat no more.
For the first time in a long, long, long, long time, a Chiefs head coach didn't lose himself in the moment. Sure, Haley was seething with rage. (So was I. Again, it's not possible to express in words how p*ssed off I was). And Haley let the official have it ... at the end of the half.
But at that moment, with his defense on the ropes, having just suffered a horrible blow thanks to horrendous officiating, Todd Haley did what a good coach should do.
He rose above the emotion of the moment.
The Chiefs, of course, held, stopping the Jags three straight plays from the one, and forcing the Jags to kick a field goal to close out the half.
Would the Chiefs have held if Haley didn't do anything, just rolled with the punches, like Herm Edwards used to do? I doubt it. Would the Chiefs have held if Haley over-reacted to the screw job, like he did so many times last year? I highly doubt it.
This year? That, to me, is the defining moment of the season so far. More so than the 4th and 1 at Cleveland, the 4th and goal stand against the Chargers, or the D Bowe drop in Indy.
Our head coach, imploring his defense to hold. Bucking them up, if you will. No blame, no screaming, no profanity. (Wait, it's Todd Haley. Scratch that "no profanity" part). Just a coach encouraging his guys to do their job. Which they did.
I love being wrong.
* The DJ pick six. Could not have happened at a better time. Again, this was a situation the last three, four years, where the Chiefs collapse. They've just been hit with the second horsesh*t pass interference call of the game, this time the Jags capitalize on it. We then punted the following possession. Again, the last three, four years, this is where the Jags bust a 60 yard touchdown run, or nail some deep bomb, or get a third horsesh*t call in their favor, and the fans start streaming for the exits because we know what's coming.
This year? This season? In that spot? It just felt different. The loudest Arrowhead got on Sunday was on the first down of that drive, I thought. There was just a sense in the stands of "screw the officials, screw the Jags, we're not letting these guys lose". First down, the Jags run it safely up the middle. Second down, touchdown Chiefs defense, DJ
read the route perfectly, broke on it, and took it to the house. From that moment on, there was no doubt the Chiefs were winning. None.
And for those of you like "Phil", who don't remember or don't know what Arrowhead was, THAT'S what it used to be like. The Chiefs, on the ropes. The crowd rising to its feet, making more noise than humans should make. And the defense riding the wave of emotion and forcing a huge game-changing play, be it a turnover, a sack, or in this case, a touchdown.
These guys are legit. This is not a fluke. If you don't take my word for it, come witness it in person on Sunday. You'll leave a believer, I promise you. This isn't the last gasp of a veteran team about to fall apart (like 2006). This isn't being done with smoke, mirrors, and fluky play after fluky play (2003). This is a team just beginning to tap its potential. There's nowhere to go but up. And that's definitely where this team is headed. Get in on the ground floor guys, and enjoy the ride to the top. You'll be glad you did.
* The 4th and 3. I know a lot of Chiefs fans were irate over Coach Haley going for it. (To recap the situation, its Chiefs 28, Jags 20, early 4th quarter. Chiefs have a 4th and 3 at the Jags 24.)
I have ripped Coach Haley for his fourth down decision making on multiple times this year, most notably the decision at Indy to not take the points on the opening drive.
But in this spot, even as my text message inbox was blowing up with such witty classics as "what the f*ck is he doing", "we're not really doing this right", and "holy sh*t this is stupid", I just nodded in agreement with what the decision was.
Yes, the play call was awful. (A Charles run that went nowhere. Why you'd run it on 4th and 3 is beyond my limited alcohol-impaired ability to reason). But Haley had no choice. As I texted back to folks who were angry, "trust me, the wind is horrible. No way Succup makes it. No way".
I understand that the announcers made no mention of the wind influencing this decision, until as noted by Damien, "5 minutes later, they finally say wind is an issue. Thanks guys". The left upright flag on that play, was blowing straight right. The right upright flag, was blowing straight left. The wind had no rhyme, reason, or direction yesterday. They talk about a "swirling wind", and that's exactly what we had.
Any kick over 30 yards was a total crapshoot. Haley was absolutely right to go for it. You can't punt from the opponent's 24 yard line. The odds are, you get a net gain of 4 as the punt flies well past the end zone and up into the club level. The field goal had, at best, a 10% chance of success. And if you miss, as 90% of the time you're going to in those conditions, the Jags get 8 free yards, because the ball goes to the spot of the kick, not the line of scrimmage. Going for it was the least evil outcome. If you don't get it, fine. The Jags are still backed up, still have to go 75 yards and convert a two pointer to boot just to tie.
Yet another moment yesterday when "I love being wrong" crossed my mind. It's neat to see that finally, we're run by a grown up.
* The D Bowe touchdown. Even as everyone was celebrating after the catch, I immediately texted "not a TD". I thought for sure that (a) he only got the right foot down, and (b) since the Chiefs refused to show the replay for nearly three minutes, there was no way he was in. (I know that's standard practice, to not show a play that you think will go against you, but seriously guys, we're all grown-ups here, even if most of us are slightly inebriated by the 4th quarter. I think we can reasonably handle seeing a replay.)
Then, they finally showed the replay. And Bowe did a phenomenal job of getting the left foot down, somehow maintaining control, and getting the score to put the game out of reach.
Have I mentioned lately that sometimes, I love being wrong?
* It's about this point, that the Springfield chick comes wandering back down the aisle. She'd been gone since halftime because ... wait for it ... she was so hammered she forgot where she sat. But apparently something brought her home. "I found you guys again" she slurred, "and it was because of this!" as she rubbed my Jets hat.
Now, I have been intoxicated on a number of occasions, including inside that stadium ... but (1) I have never been so drunk that I couldn't remember where I sat, and (2) I sure as all hell have never found my way back to my seat because I recognized the hat of the person who sits two rows behind me. So either there's still higher levels of intoxication I
haven't attained yet ... or this chick cannot handle her liquor. I'm going with the latter out of fear. The idea that there's levels of drunkenness I haven't yet attained scares the sh*t out of me.
* Loved Berry's INT. Loved how he refused to get tackled. In retrospect, yeah, it was kind of stupid. Once he was in jeopardy of being tackled, go to the ground. Don't risk turning it back over. But -- but! -- I loved what the play showed. These guys play to the final whistle. They are giving everything they have out on that field to win the game. That's ...wow. That's coaching folks. Sure, it's also having players that give sh*t, as opposed to the mail-it-in efforts of the last few years ... but that's coaching.
Yeah, I love being wrong.
* We unintentionally created a new drink yesterday. Affectionately named "the Rooskell", after its creater, Russ the Bus Man. He was filling up the flasks Sunday morning, and decided for one of the flasks, he'd just wing it. Anything that looked like or smelled like whiskey, he added. The problem was, in the flask he added it to, there was still some Hot Damn in there from the prior game.
But if you want to try the Rooskell, it's a healthy combination of Hot Damn and Wild Turkey ... with a splash of Weller on top.
(Believe it or not, it's actually quite good).
* After the game, I stopped for the traditional post-game hug with Jennifer, then it was off to the bus to celebrate. After high-fiving a bunch of fans on the walk back, stopping and talking with the neighbors, and enduring the chocolate whipped cream shot, it was time to do what I do best: sit in the sun and drink. Which I did. And you're damned right
those screwdrivers I enjoyed were made "Steve style".
* Another thing I love about that place -- the walk up the spiral ramps after a win. The very loud tomahawk chop chants. "Let's Go Chiefs!" chants. My favorite is the week before the raiders or donkeys games, someone always gets a "F*ck the raiders! / F*ck the broncos!" chant going. That never gets old.
And now, the newest addition this year -- the pounding of the sides of the ramp walkways. Last year, and every year before, those bad boys were concrete. Now, they're some kind of metal siding. The acoustic sound as people pound that thing is awesome.
* Finally about 4ish, it was off for home. Only Russ didn't drive. Will did. Let's just say, that is the fastest we've ever made it home from a game. Unfortunately, it was also one of the toughest rides home for me ever. As Will's pulling out, I go to refill my screwdriver, and to grab a couple beers for the riders in the back. When Russ drives, he usually takes his time, to make the ride as smooth as possible. (It's an old bus. It's older than me for crying out loud). Will? It's get up and go time. So as he makes the turn out of Gate 6, he accellerates like there's no tomorrow. I'm standing up after grabbing a couple beers out of the cooler, and just go flying. Somehow, I avoid landing on the generator, but I did
land on "Phil"'s foot. The rest of the ride home, because Will never stopped or slowed down, I was stuck holding on for dear life on the floor of the bus, while trying to avoid spilling the screwdriver everywhere.
I know there's photos of this, and I'm sure they'll be circulating eventually if they aren't already flying around out there. But the funniest moment, aside from me going flying halfway down the bus and landing on my ass (screwdriver intact too. You gotta protect the important stuff), is after Will makes a hard right and I go flying yet again as everyone's laughing, my leg is up in the air, and leads to this exchange:
(everyone) (laughing)
(steve) (struggling to sit upright)
(katie) do your boxers really say "I Love Beer"?
(steve) yeah, why?
(everyone) (laughing hysterically)
(mona) this is a first! Steve's the entertainment on the ride home!
(everyone) (laughs all around)
I'm going to trust and assume the laughs were because they saw the boxers, not because they saw what was under the boxers. Right? Right? (crickets chirping).
It was one of those "had to be there moments", but even I was laughing. If you can't laugh at yourself ... well, at least you can always laugh at me.
* But the biggest laugh of the day for me, was reserved for the closing act.
Get back to Russ and Mona's afterwards, and we all decide to watch the late game out on the deck, it's way too nice of a day to waste indoors. Only, because both games mattered to the Chiefs (Pats at Chargers, raiders at broncos), it's up to me to decide which one is more competitive, and put it on.
So I fire up the DirecTV receiver, and put on the Pats / Chargers, which is 10-3 Patriots heading into halftime. Then, I turn it to channel 715 for the donkeys and raiders.
I nearly spit out my screwdriver when I saw the score.
oakland 38, denver 0, not even three minutes into the second quarter.
I just busted out laughing. Could not stop myself. The donkeys losing 38-0 at home! To oakland of all teams! How in the hell do you allow oakland to score 38 in a game? At home?
Just a perfect ending to a nearly perfect day. denver getting taken to the woodshed. Eff the donkeys indeed.
* So ... the Chiefs now sit three clear of the Chargers, three clear of the donkeys, and two clear of the raiders. And three of our next four are against the Bills, the raiders, and the Cardinals, none of whom is exactly a playoff threat at this point.
There's just one question left to ask?
Are you in? Because as Incubus would note, "it's so much better when everyone is in. Are you in?"
Sunday, high noon. Your first place Kansas City Chiefs hosting a frisky Buffalo Bills squad that should have beaten the Ravens yesterday. It's a game that we should win. It's a game we need to win. And it's also a chance for you to make your mark on the march to a division championship by saying you were there.
I have no idea what the forecast is, but I'm guessing it'll be overcast and crappy for tailgating, and bright and sunny for the game, if the current pattern from the last couple years holds.
If you need a place to tailgate, you're always welcome to join us. We're doing some kind of Buffalo theme on Sunday. I'm always up for losing yet again at washers. I think I do two things in life better than anyone else. One is sit in the sun with my shirt off and drink. The other is lose at washers. I'm all pro at both of those activities, that's for sure.
Anyways, hope to see you Sunday. The road to the AFC West championship is clearly marked now. If the Chiefs go 6-4 down the stretch, the Chargers or donkeys would have to go 8-1 just to tie us, the raiders would have to go 7-2. It's no longer a question of "can the Chiefs win the division". The answer to that, based on the results so far, is clearly "hell yes they can!"
Nope, it's now a question of "how many games are these guys gonna win once they get to the playoffs?" Based on what I witnessed yesterday, I don't think that's a ridiculous question to ask ...
(katie) aw there he is! Finally!
(castro) (wanders in)
(castro) hey! Want a shot? (holds up his half empty tequila bottle)
(katie) yup!
(mona) sure!
(steve) uuh, no thanks.
(castro) (pouring shots) This is my third bottle today!
(steve) (shaking head in laughing admiration) sweet Jesus!
(tailgaters) (do shots)
(steve) we need a new song.
(steve) (heads over to stereo)
(steve) (changes cd)
(steve) I think I picked a winner ...
(cue the music)
"She said I'm going out with my girlfriends,
For margaritas at the Holiday Inn.
Lord have mercy! My only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off ..."
--------------------------
Five years ago, a movie came out that should have completely and totally had me in the theater on opening afternoon. An uplifiting, inspirational true-life story about a 30 year old walk-on for the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1970s. An average dude, with not much going for him -- his wife had just left him, he was unemployed in the midst of an economic crisis, all he had was his buddies at the bar, his Eagles, and his dad.
That movie, of course, is "Invincible", and it really is every bit as great as I thought it would be. Only, for three plus years, I refused to watch it. Because, and this is Steve logic at its finest, I refused to watch it because "It'll put Coach Vermeil in a positive light".
So, after boycotting this thing because I refused to even contemplate the idea that Dick Vermeil might not be so bad after all, I was sitting on the old couch one evening, no doubt after a few adult beverages, and noticed "Invincible" was playing on one of the Encore channels. After scanning the programming guide and not seeing one other thing on worth watching, I figured "why not", and decided to give it a try.
And absolutely loved it. Loved it so much, I drove to Target afterwards and bought the dvd.
But my favorite scene? Easy. There's a running plot line in the movie (and if you haven't seen it, screw the "spoiler alert" standards. This thing has been in release for five years. I'm not spoiling a thing here), there's a running plot line that the greatest moment in Vince's dad's life, was Norm Van Brocklin's touchdown in 1948, to give the Eagles the NFL
championship. (Their only NFL Championship). There's even a scene on his dad's front porch, where he notes to Vince "that touchdown got me through 30 years at the factory, through your mom being sick and dying, through the
strikes, through everything bad that happened".
Needless to say, it's a big moment that had a big impact on that guy's life.
So as the movie goes along, Vince makes the team. After conning his buddy into picking him up after practice (another great scene in a movie loaded with them), they head off to the bar. Vince walks in, the news had already arrived that he made it, he's an Eagle. The place is packed. Everybody starts cheering, clapping, applauding, giving him congratulations. All deserved, of course. I mean, come on, a 30 year old nobody from South Philly has just made it to the National Football League. And finally, his dad arrives. The guy's a ... he's a grizzled veteran, I'll put it that way. A grizzled veteran. He looks exactly like what a 50ish dude in South Philly should look like. He's not emotional, to put it mildly.
He sees his son, walks up, hugs him ... and with tears in his eyes, says the greatest compliment he can give his kid.
"Normie Van Brocklin's got nothing on you kid".
I open with "Invincible" today for three reasons.
(1) The 1995 Chiefs, my favorite Chiefs team of all time, might have nothing on these guys by the time this season is through.
(2) Sometimes, the things you love the most in life, come into your life when you least expect it. Oh, and
(3) as I texted Damien yesterday, "I love being wrong".
The 2010 Chiefs are better than even I thought they could be. And I'm the crazy guy who picked them to comfortably win the division back in September. People, this team is NOT a fluke. This is a legitimate threat in the AFC. Not just the division -- the conference. These guys are for real. I'm absolutely and completely in love with these guys. I'm not just piloting the bandwagon at this point out of duty like over the past couple seasons -- I'm begging, pleading, threatening, whatever it takes, to get folks to climb on board. There's no reason to not believe folks. None. There's not one legitimate reason other than kid duty and/or economic destitution to avoid coming out to Arrowhead next Sunday, and every home game going forward.
This is a damned good football team that is only going to get better. Yes, you read that correctly. This team has not only not even begun to show their peak potential, this is the low point. Right now, this is the worst the Chiefs are going to be for at least the next three, four, five years. We won't be worse at any point in the next few years, than we are right now. Doesn't that at least put a smile on your face? You're seeing rock bottom for the foreseeable future. And rock bottom is a 42-20 ass kicking of a decent Jaguars squad!
And as for point three? "I love being wrong"?
There's a man in the Chiefs organization, a pretty powerful and influencial dude, who I affectionaly have dubbed "Coach Asshat". Our head coach, Todd Haley.
Todd ... God bless it, man. I love being wrong!
I'll get into the exact moment Todd Haley went from "Coach Asshat" to "Steve hasn't had a mancrush this ridiculous since his insane infatuation with Jon Scheyer" status, as well as hit the highlights of a day the Chiefs might have all but wrapped up the division, in the recap below ...
* Arrived at the stadium at about 7am. I think it was 6:58 if I remember right. And we weren't even close to being the first in line. We actually were 3 back of the gate. I think Chiefs fans are starting to figure out that it's ok to hop back on the bandwagon ...
* Carl extended his "winning streak" with the parking attendants to about 135. Gotta love the guy.
* Had no issues with getting the bus parked this week. The parking nazis are starting to lighten up, finally. Although the ridiculous orange cones were still everywhere. Someone noted that "this is more retarded than the tape", and I have to agree with them. At least the tape gave you some direction on where they wanted you to go. The cones are just annoying.
* The menu yesterday was breakfast. Really solid biscuits and gravy, some sausages, scrambled eggs. Topped off by some bloody mary's, screwdrivers, and beer mosas.
* My only complaint was the weather. Really, weather gods? We can't have one home game where its nice, sunny, and pleasant from arrival to departure? Is that asking too much? The Chiefs haven't played a home game that I would define as "ideal weather conditions" from arrival to departure since we kicked denver to the curb in 2008. One home game in the high 70s with the sun shining from 6am to 5pm. That's all I'm asking. Just one.
* Apple pie shots! Courtesy of our tailgating neighbors in the white bus. Holy cow, that's good stuff.
* Speaking of good stuff ... the chocolate alcohol-fueled whipped cream bottle. Funniest moment was when the grandma at the bus next door started taking shots of it. I didn't want any part of it -- for starters, I'm probably the only person alive that doesn't like chocolate. That, and I didn't want to get on my knees and have something sprayed into my mouth. But I promised if the Chiefs won, I'd take a shot. I live up to my bets. Best shot of the day, by far. As I noted, "If this is all it takes to get the Chiefs to win, I'll buy the f*cking bottle myself".
* Pretty small, tame group yesterday. Tyler wasn't there, he had prior obligations. But the other six core riders were there, plus a few folks that Will brought along.
* Another funny moment? When Katie realized that "I'm not the youngest person here!" A couple of the folks Will brought were only 21. Dear God, "only" 21. When I turned 21, nobody had even heard of Monica Lewinsky yet. Oy.
* Had a fun conversation with one of them, not Jared, not the chick, but the 21 year old dude with the beard who came. I'd be lying if I said I remembered his name, so in the long-standing tradition established by my buddy Gregg, I'm gonna call him "Phil".
"Phil" was noting that he couldn't remember the last time the Chiefs were good. I thought "holy crap, this guy is so young, the 90s mean nothing to him!" I also replied, "you think that's rough? The last time the Chiefs won a playoff game, I was in high school. And I'll be 34 before this season ends!" The guy just stared at me with a "wow, you're that old?!?!" look. Oy. Yes, yes I am that old. I've literally lived half of my life since the Chiefs last won a playoff game. "Lord have mercy, my only thought ..." was that I should have hit Castro's tequila bottle.
* I'm telling you, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" is just golden. It's like "Friends in Low Places" or "Margaritaville" or "Sweet Caroline" or "It's Beer Thirty, and I'm Beer Thirsty", it just inspires everyone to sing along. I think that's the new tailgating cd I'll burn for the Buffalo game (since we need a new one), awesome sing-along classics. I might even put a song by "Steve's Most Hated Band Ever" on there. You know I'm in a good mood when I actually consider purchasing a song on iTunes by the Black Eyed Peas ...
* The walk into the stadium, we encountered the Springfield chick and her husband who sit two rows in front of us. She was already obliterated, and it wasn't even noon yet. We'll come back to this in a little bit.
* Just like Carl has his "winning streak" with the parking attendants, my "winning streak" with the flask getting through security is still intact. It's getting to be Harlem Globetrotter-esque, in that security has yet to defeat me, despite years of trying.
* After a good conversation with Gregg and Gordon on the walk down to my seat, I finally arrive, and it's an emotional moment, as I give Chris a big hug. Chiefs Nation, keep keeping Greg (her husband) in your thoughts and prayers. He's got a long, long road to recovery, and every little good-will thought helps.
* The National Anthem. Uuh, not bad. Not too shabby. Although I'd never heard of the "national recording artist" they brought in to perform it. Sunny something, some country band. It must not take much to become a "national recording artist", I guess. That, or I need to expand my listening horizon beyond Ben Harper, Dave Matthews, and late 70s stuff.
* Missed KC Wolf's sketch. I doubt I missed anything worth seeing.
* Did get really excited though, walking down the aisle. There, in the east end zone? What should have been there for the Chargers game. Could not stop grinning when I saw the block letter C, H, I, E, F, and S. All filled up with balloons. I freely admit, "Steve Logic" makes zero sense. Example -- I hate flyovers with a passion. They're the single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind. I've even booed a few flyovers, and man, that gets you some dirty looks, let me tell you. You'd think we lived in two of the reddest of red states in the nation, and I was a liberal Democrat, given some of the looks I get if I don't openly cheer for a military flyover. (On second though ... all of that last sentence is true, so what do I know).
On the other hand though -- I love balloon launches. Don't know why, I just do. The launch at Indy as Jim Nabors "dreams about the moonlight on the Wabash" is my favorite moment of that race every year. Even more so than the race itself, even more than Florence Henderson's awe-inspiring rendition of "God Bless America", even more than the insane all-night party that consumes all of Speedway, Indiana the night before (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: anytime you're at a place where you can sit on the curb, drinking from an open container, enjoying a tobacco-like product that hopefully will be legalized in California in eight days, and the cops walk by and don't do a thing? That's a cool place to be).
This balloon launch didn't disappoint. Loved seeing the pink balloons flying up into the air as the Chiefs ran out of the tunnel. Awesome moment. If they want to make the balloon launch a weekly thing, I'd be thrilled.
* Another cool moment -- the coin toss. Your honorary Chiefs captain was a six year old kid battling brain cancer. I'm guessing he hasn't had many good moments in his life up to this point, and I fear he doesn't have a whole lot of time left to make some good moments in his life. When the camera panned to the kid as KC Wolf walked him out there though, he had the biggest smile you could imagine. I actually teared up a little bit. That was cool.
* Brad Meester, the Jags center, his entire family and then some was sitting on my left. They took up a huge chunk of four freaking rows. That's representing.
* Gotta give Jags starting quarterback Todd Bouman a lot of credit. (Apparently his wife and kids were sitting five rows in front of Gregg, and yeah, Todd definitely punted well beyond his coverage with her). The crowd was into it from the opening kickoff yesterday, and despite his offensive line being unable to pass block competently, despite having no ground game to support him, Bouman made plays, he kept his team in the game. I was impressed. For a dude who just signed on Monday and hadn't made a start in the league in five years, he played really well.
* Fortunately, our quarterback played even better. There was not one moment on Sunday when I thought "what the hell is Cassel doing"? Again, go back to my opening point in this ramble, and the same is true for Cassel, what is true for this team. Right now, this is rock bottom. This is as bad as Matt Cassel is ever going to be for the very foreseeable future. Call me crazy, but I can live with this.
* My only real complaint Chiefs related yesterday, is that once again, clock management is an issue. I have no idea why we wasted three timeouts yesterday. (Going back to last week, I still have no idea why we didn't call timeout when the Texans had goal-to-go to save 40 seconds on the clock). This could be a problem at some point this season. You can waste one timeout in the half and still be ok, because of the two minute warning. But none of the three timeouts yesterday that Haley called made an ounce of sense. Gotta clean that up guys. That, or I'm pretty sure Mike White
isn't doing anything, make a call and bring him back to oversee these things.
* Thomas Jones! 70 yard run! And ... tackled at the four. The touchdown scored two plays later by Jamaal Charles. And that, in a nutshell, is why my fantasy team is 1-5.
* The first 4th down decision. It's Jags 10, Chiefs 7. Chiefs have 4th and 1 at the Jags 2 at the two minute warning. The Chiefs choose not to take the points, and decide to go for it.
I was completely fine with that decision. I know I'm the guy who notes that "you always take the point early. If you don't, it will always bite you in the ass". But in that case, the Chiefs had two outs, which is why going for it was the right decision. One of course is if you score the touchdown. The other out? You can still get a first down without scoring.
Which is exactly what happened. They got the first, but not the six points. However, the very next play, the Chiefs scored to take the lead, a lead they'd never relinquish despite the official's best efforts.
* OK, let's deal with the shady officiating. I say "shady", in that neither pass interference call was even close to legitimate.
Let's start with the second one, because the first one, I believe, changed the course of the game, and caused a dramatic Joey Lawrence Memorial "Whoa!" moment in my view towards an employee of this team.
That, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell we did to draw the flag on the second call.
Chiefs 21, Jags 13. Not even a minute into the 3rd quarter. The Chiefs took the opening kick and scored on two plays -- a TJ run for seven, then a great D Bowe catch and breaking-tackle-after-tackle run after the catch for the touchdown. Arrowhead is rocking. It's insane loud in there. Its 2nd and 12 at the Jags 40. There's only two plays to consider calling there that make sense -- either a delayed draw to Jones-Drew up the middle, or air it out. The Jags air it out, Bouman throwing it down the right sideline. The Jags receiver pushes off on Eric Berry. He literally shoves Berry out of the way. The fans as one start screaming for a flag. If you were to look up on Wikipedia what the definition of offensive pass interference is, they'd have a link to this play as the visual evidence of what it is. The flag comes out. The fans start cheering.
Jerome Boger takes the mic. "Pass interference. Defen --" And the boos start reigning down.
The Sports Guy noted on Twitter how ridiculous this call was, for crying out loud.
The Jags score, they're in business, now 21-20 after a couple more plays. What was cool though, was that after every play, the boos rang out. Loudly. Earl Hebner and Tim Donaghy jokes were being cracked, that's how awful the officiating was. I even dropped the "what, is this KU / Texas from 2004 all over again? Is the league that desperate to keep us out of the playoffs?" blast.
Fortunately, this play didn't kill us. But it could have. And it was atrociously officiated.
* The first defensive pass interference, look it, I thought it was horsesh*t. I dropped the "god f*cking dammit" blast that I reserve for only my most p*ssed off of moments. I was furious. It gave the Jags a 1st and goal at the 1, with less than 20 seconds left in the half. I could already see how this was going to unfold, because let's face it, we've all been witnesses to some pretty crappy football the last few years. We've seen this before. Chiefs putting up a fight, have a horsesh*t call go against them, and then collapse, while the coaching staff either (a) shows no emotion, or (b) compounds the mistake by overreacting to the call.
After the call, I looked to the Chiefs sideline. Haley was there, it was obvious he was p*ssed just by looking at his face. "Here we go", I thought.
Only ... his next reaction was entirely not what I expected.
He ran onto the field a little bit ... and started clapping his hands, screaming "come on guys! Hold them!" to the defense. He even used a couple forward fist pumps to encourage the guys.
And in section 132, row 26, seat 14, this still hot-as-hell 33 year old got chills.
Coach Asshat no more.
For the first time in a long, long, long, long time, a Chiefs head coach didn't lose himself in the moment. Sure, Haley was seething with rage. (So was I. Again, it's not possible to express in words how p*ssed off I was). And Haley let the official have it ... at the end of the half.
But at that moment, with his defense on the ropes, having just suffered a horrible blow thanks to horrendous officiating, Todd Haley did what a good coach should do.
He rose above the emotion of the moment.
The Chiefs, of course, held, stopping the Jags three straight plays from the one, and forcing the Jags to kick a field goal to close out the half.
Would the Chiefs have held if Haley didn't do anything, just rolled with the punches, like Herm Edwards used to do? I doubt it. Would the Chiefs have held if Haley over-reacted to the screw job, like he did so many times last year? I highly doubt it.
This year? That, to me, is the defining moment of the season so far. More so than the 4th and 1 at Cleveland, the 4th and goal stand against the Chargers, or the D Bowe drop in Indy.
Our head coach, imploring his defense to hold. Bucking them up, if you will. No blame, no screaming, no profanity. (Wait, it's Todd Haley. Scratch that "no profanity" part). Just a coach encouraging his guys to do their job. Which they did.
I love being wrong.
* The DJ pick six. Could not have happened at a better time. Again, this was a situation the last three, four years, where the Chiefs collapse. They've just been hit with the second horsesh*t pass interference call of the game, this time the Jags capitalize on it. We then punted the following possession. Again, the last three, four years, this is where the Jags bust a 60 yard touchdown run, or nail some deep bomb, or get a third horsesh*t call in their favor, and the fans start streaming for the exits because we know what's coming.
This year? This season? In that spot? It just felt different. The loudest Arrowhead got on Sunday was on the first down of that drive, I thought. There was just a sense in the stands of "screw the officials, screw the Jags, we're not letting these guys lose". First down, the Jags run it safely up the middle. Second down, touchdown Chiefs defense, DJ
read the route perfectly, broke on it, and took it to the house. From that moment on, there was no doubt the Chiefs were winning. None.
And for those of you like "Phil", who don't remember or don't know what Arrowhead was, THAT'S what it used to be like. The Chiefs, on the ropes. The crowd rising to its feet, making more noise than humans should make. And the defense riding the wave of emotion and forcing a huge game-changing play, be it a turnover, a sack, or in this case, a touchdown.
These guys are legit. This is not a fluke. If you don't take my word for it, come witness it in person on Sunday. You'll leave a believer, I promise you. This isn't the last gasp of a veteran team about to fall apart (like 2006). This isn't being done with smoke, mirrors, and fluky play after fluky play (2003). This is a team just beginning to tap its potential. There's nowhere to go but up. And that's definitely where this team is headed. Get in on the ground floor guys, and enjoy the ride to the top. You'll be glad you did.
* The 4th and 3. I know a lot of Chiefs fans were irate over Coach Haley going for it. (To recap the situation, its Chiefs 28, Jags 20, early 4th quarter. Chiefs have a 4th and 3 at the Jags 24.)
I have ripped Coach Haley for his fourth down decision making on multiple times this year, most notably the decision at Indy to not take the points on the opening drive.
But in this spot, even as my text message inbox was blowing up with such witty classics as "what the f*ck is he doing", "we're not really doing this right", and "holy sh*t this is stupid", I just nodded in agreement with what the decision was.
Yes, the play call was awful. (A Charles run that went nowhere. Why you'd run it on 4th and 3 is beyond my limited alcohol-impaired ability to reason). But Haley had no choice. As I texted back to folks who were angry, "trust me, the wind is horrible. No way Succup makes it. No way".
I understand that the announcers made no mention of the wind influencing this decision, until as noted by Damien, "5 minutes later, they finally say wind is an issue. Thanks guys". The left upright flag on that play, was blowing straight right. The right upright flag, was blowing straight left. The wind had no rhyme, reason, or direction yesterday. They talk about a "swirling wind", and that's exactly what we had.
Any kick over 30 yards was a total crapshoot. Haley was absolutely right to go for it. You can't punt from the opponent's 24 yard line. The odds are, you get a net gain of 4 as the punt flies well past the end zone and up into the club level. The field goal had, at best, a 10% chance of success. And if you miss, as 90% of the time you're going to in those conditions, the Jags get 8 free yards, because the ball goes to the spot of the kick, not the line of scrimmage. Going for it was the least evil outcome. If you don't get it, fine. The Jags are still backed up, still have to go 75 yards and convert a two pointer to boot just to tie.
Yet another moment yesterday when "I love being wrong" crossed my mind. It's neat to see that finally, we're run by a grown up.
* The D Bowe touchdown. Even as everyone was celebrating after the catch, I immediately texted "not a TD". I thought for sure that (a) he only got the right foot down, and (b) since the Chiefs refused to show the replay for nearly three minutes, there was no way he was in. (I know that's standard practice, to not show a play that you think will go against you, but seriously guys, we're all grown-ups here, even if most of us are slightly inebriated by the 4th quarter. I think we can reasonably handle seeing a replay.)
Then, they finally showed the replay. And Bowe did a phenomenal job of getting the left foot down, somehow maintaining control, and getting the score to put the game out of reach.
Have I mentioned lately that sometimes, I love being wrong?
* It's about this point, that the Springfield chick comes wandering back down the aisle. She'd been gone since halftime because ... wait for it ... she was so hammered she forgot where she sat. But apparently something brought her home. "I found you guys again" she slurred, "and it was because of this!" as she rubbed my Jets hat.
Now, I have been intoxicated on a number of occasions, including inside that stadium ... but (1) I have never been so drunk that I couldn't remember where I sat, and (2) I sure as all hell have never found my way back to my seat because I recognized the hat of the person who sits two rows behind me. So either there's still higher levels of intoxication I
haven't attained yet ... or this chick cannot handle her liquor. I'm going with the latter out of fear. The idea that there's levels of drunkenness I haven't yet attained scares the sh*t out of me.
* Loved Berry's INT. Loved how he refused to get tackled. In retrospect, yeah, it was kind of stupid. Once he was in jeopardy of being tackled, go to the ground. Don't risk turning it back over. But -- but! -- I loved what the play showed. These guys play to the final whistle. They are giving everything they have out on that field to win the game. That's ...wow. That's coaching folks. Sure, it's also having players that give sh*t, as opposed to the mail-it-in efforts of the last few years ... but that's coaching.
Yeah, I love being wrong.
* We unintentionally created a new drink yesterday. Affectionately named "the Rooskell", after its creater, Russ the Bus Man. He was filling up the flasks Sunday morning, and decided for one of the flasks, he'd just wing it. Anything that looked like or smelled like whiskey, he added. The problem was, in the flask he added it to, there was still some Hot Damn in there from the prior game.
But if you want to try the Rooskell, it's a healthy combination of Hot Damn and Wild Turkey ... with a splash of Weller on top.
(Believe it or not, it's actually quite good).
* After the game, I stopped for the traditional post-game hug with Jennifer, then it was off to the bus to celebrate. After high-fiving a bunch of fans on the walk back, stopping and talking with the neighbors, and enduring the chocolate whipped cream shot, it was time to do what I do best: sit in the sun and drink. Which I did. And you're damned right
those screwdrivers I enjoyed were made "Steve style".
* Another thing I love about that place -- the walk up the spiral ramps after a win. The very loud tomahawk chop chants. "Let's Go Chiefs!" chants. My favorite is the week before the raiders or donkeys games, someone always gets a "F*ck the raiders! / F*ck the broncos!" chant going. That never gets old.
And now, the newest addition this year -- the pounding of the sides of the ramp walkways. Last year, and every year before, those bad boys were concrete. Now, they're some kind of metal siding. The acoustic sound as people pound that thing is awesome.
* Finally about 4ish, it was off for home. Only Russ didn't drive. Will did. Let's just say, that is the fastest we've ever made it home from a game. Unfortunately, it was also one of the toughest rides home for me ever. As Will's pulling out, I go to refill my screwdriver, and to grab a couple beers for the riders in the back. When Russ drives, he usually takes his time, to make the ride as smooth as possible. (It's an old bus. It's older than me for crying out loud). Will? It's get up and go time. So as he makes the turn out of Gate 6, he accellerates like there's no tomorrow. I'm standing up after grabbing a couple beers out of the cooler, and just go flying. Somehow, I avoid landing on the generator, but I did
land on "Phil"'s foot. The rest of the ride home, because Will never stopped or slowed down, I was stuck holding on for dear life on the floor of the bus, while trying to avoid spilling the screwdriver everywhere.
I know there's photos of this, and I'm sure they'll be circulating eventually if they aren't already flying around out there. But the funniest moment, aside from me going flying halfway down the bus and landing on my ass (screwdriver intact too. You gotta protect the important stuff), is after Will makes a hard right and I go flying yet again as everyone's laughing, my leg is up in the air, and leads to this exchange:
(everyone) (laughing)
(steve) (struggling to sit upright)
(katie) do your boxers really say "I Love Beer"?
(steve) yeah, why?
(everyone) (laughing hysterically)
(mona) this is a first! Steve's the entertainment on the ride home!
(everyone) (laughs all around)
I'm going to trust and assume the laughs were because they saw the boxers, not because they saw what was under the boxers. Right? Right? (crickets chirping).
It was one of those "had to be there moments", but even I was laughing. If you can't laugh at yourself ... well, at least you can always laugh at me.
* But the biggest laugh of the day for me, was reserved for the closing act.
Get back to Russ and Mona's afterwards, and we all decide to watch the late game out on the deck, it's way too nice of a day to waste indoors. Only, because both games mattered to the Chiefs (Pats at Chargers, raiders at broncos), it's up to me to decide which one is more competitive, and put it on.
So I fire up the DirecTV receiver, and put on the Pats / Chargers, which is 10-3 Patriots heading into halftime. Then, I turn it to channel 715 for the donkeys and raiders.
I nearly spit out my screwdriver when I saw the score.
oakland 38, denver 0, not even three minutes into the second quarter.
I just busted out laughing. Could not stop myself. The donkeys losing 38-0 at home! To oakland of all teams! How in the hell do you allow oakland to score 38 in a game? At home?
Just a perfect ending to a nearly perfect day. denver getting taken to the woodshed. Eff the donkeys indeed.
* So ... the Chiefs now sit three clear of the Chargers, three clear of the donkeys, and two clear of the raiders. And three of our next four are against the Bills, the raiders, and the Cardinals, none of whom is exactly a playoff threat at this point.
There's just one question left to ask?
Are you in? Because as Incubus would note, "it's so much better when everyone is in. Are you in?"
Sunday, high noon. Your first place Kansas City Chiefs hosting a frisky Buffalo Bills squad that should have beaten the Ravens yesterday. It's a game that we should win. It's a game we need to win. And it's also a chance for you to make your mark on the march to a division championship by saying you were there.
I have no idea what the forecast is, but I'm guessing it'll be overcast and crappy for tailgating, and bright and sunny for the game, if the current pattern from the last couple years holds.
If you need a place to tailgate, you're always welcome to join us. We're doing some kind of Buffalo theme on Sunday. I'm always up for losing yet again at washers. I think I do two things in life better than anyone else. One is sit in the sun with my shirt off and drink. The other is lose at washers. I'm all pro at both of those activities, that's for sure.
Anyways, hope to see you Sunday. The road to the AFC West championship is clearly marked now. If the Chiefs go 6-4 down the stretch, the Chargers or donkeys would have to go 8-1 just to tie us, the raiders would have to go 7-2. It's no longer a question of "can the Chiefs win the division". The answer to that, based on the results so far, is clearly "hell yes they can!"
Nope, it's now a question of "how many games are these guys gonna win once they get to the playoffs?" Based on what I witnessed yesterday, I don't think that's a ridiculous question to ask ...
Friday, October 22, 2010
the week seven predictions
It feels like an Old School Sunday. Even two days out, it feels like something is gonna go down that we haven’t seen in a long, long time at that stadium. No, scratch that. I KNOW we’re gonna see something we haven’t seen in a long, long time in that stadium. (Keep reading …)
So, in honor of “Old School Sunday”, the week seven inspirational lyrics to open the predictions. A song every long-term, die-hard Chiefs fan will instantly recognize, and once you do, I defy you to not immediately start singing along …
“Adventure seeker!
On an empty street.
Just an alley creeper,
Light on his feet.
A young fighter screaming!
With no time for doubt.
With the pain and anger,
Can’t see a way out.
It ain’t much I’m asking,
I heard him say.
Gotta find me a future --
Move out of my way!
I want it all!
I want it all!
I want it all!
And I want it now!
I want it all!
I want it all!
I want it all!
And I want it now …”
“I Want It All” by Queen. Dear God, I miss hearing this song walking up the ramps after a Chiefs win …
Last Week SU: 4-10-0.
Season to Date SU: 51-39-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-7-3.
Season to Date ATS: 43-42-5
Last Week Upset / Week: accomplished it’s purpose.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-5.
This Week’s Upset / Week: Dolphins (+3) over Steelers.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* at Falcons (-3 ½) 24, Bengals 20.
* Redskins (+3) 31, at Bears 21.
* at Titans (-3) 24, Eagles 10.
* at Dolphins (+3) 27, Steelers 20.
* at Saints 20, Browns (+13) 10.
* Rams (+2 ½) 30, at Bucs 20.
* at Ravens (-13) 49, Bills 3.
* 49ers (-3) 16, at Panthers 10.
* Cardinals (+6 ½) 24, at Seahawks 3.
* Patriots (+3) 41, at Chargers 21.
* at donkeys (-8 ½) 41, raiders 2.
Side note on the donkeys: apparently they play in London next week? Is it evil to root for the plane to go down Titanic-style? It is? Damn. (florida evans voice) Damn, damn, damn!
* Vikings (+2 ½) 31, at Packers 13.
* at Cowboys (-2 ½) 41, Giants 10.
Byes: Colts, Texans, Jets, and Lions.
The Chiefs Prediction:
Here’s what I mean by “Old School Sunday”.
This game sold out officially two weeks ago, when the Chiefs began offering standing-room only tickets. Which means the stands are going to be filled … with people who believe in this team.
Let’s face it – the Jaguars aren’t a marquee team. I wanted to puke seeing that stadium for Dallas and Pittsburgh and denver last year. Sure, us die-hards (and I would define anyone who has given this team his season-ticket money AND wasn’t doing it as a write-off, they actually showed up for the games, for the last three years? That is what the definition of a “die hard” is to me) we were there. But the stadium was infested with their fans. (And hopefully, after the donkeys fans left, we fumigated the place. You can never be too careful with denver fans involved).
So to sell out? AFTER the Indy loss? That says something to me.
It says we’re gonna rock this joint on Sunday.
My buddy Gregg put it best a couple years ago – the best thing, probably the only good thing, about the bottoming out the last couple years, is that there is now zero doubt who the die-hards are. There is not one inch of doubt who truly, passionately, loves this team. Again, I won’t blast anyone who can’t attend due to economic hardship. We’ve all been knocked around the last few years. But I will bash folks who quit going because it suddenly wasn’t “as much fun” or because the team “was losing”. It happens. Deal with it. You all demanded regime change. You got it. Unlike the regime change in Washington DC that was enacted at the end of 2008, the public has given this a chance to work. And it is working.
(My one political side rant, because (a) I have a whole meltdown post planned before election day on what’s coming, and (b) I try to keep these picks non-partisan, save for my hatred of all things denver and oakland. I am completely and utterly torn over what to root for. On the one hand, I am a liberal, and I don’t mind being called that, so long as you use John F. Kennedy’s definition of what a liberal is, and not Rush Limbaugh’s. Secondly, though, Rush put it best – it honestly is in my side’s best interest to lose in historic fashion in ten days. Honestly, it is. Because if we lose 75 in the House, and lose the Senate, under Obama’s watch … he’s pretty much unelectable isn’t he? And then where do we turn in 2012? (To the chick that I strongly endorsed, supported, and financially supported in 2008. The chick who (ssssssh!) won more votes than Barry in the primaries, and had more pledged non-super delegates than Barry. The candidate who, you know, was actually qualified for the job. And sure as all hell wouldn’t have picked Crazy Uncle Joe as her running mate). So I’m torn. Kind of like 2008 for the Chiefs – root for failure on the field to clean house, or root for the wins because, well, its my team? See, I can make an analogy out of anything. I’m that damned good).
Anyways, Sunday, that place will be packed with fans that believe. It’s been what, late 2006, maybe mid 2007, since that was the case?
Furthermore, do you know the last time the Chiefs had a comfortable, never in doubt home win? As in “we’re up double digits at the half, against a crappy foe, so kick off the shoes, relax, and work on the tan in the second half”? 2006, against the 49ers. It’s been five freaking years since we had a layup home win. We used to get 2-3 a year.
Sunday, we get one.
Todd Bauman, welcome to Arrowhead. I’m guessing you’ll never, ever, want to step foot in this stadium again after the experience that awaits you.
If you’re coming Sunday, you know the drill. The menu is breakfast, believe it or not. Mimosa’s, screwdrivers, bloody mary’s, and beer mosas for drinks. Biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, some really greasy bacon and sausage, the good stuff. Feel free to join in and enjoy.
If you aren’t planning on coming … uuh, what’s your excuse? Because unless you have kids or are economically destitute, it’d better be on helluva good one.
At Chiefs (-9) 41, Jaguars 7. As the Chiefs march (linkin park voice) one step closer to a division championship! And I’m about to break!
So, in honor of “Old School Sunday”, the week seven inspirational lyrics to open the predictions. A song every long-term, die-hard Chiefs fan will instantly recognize, and once you do, I defy you to not immediately start singing along …
“Adventure seeker!
On an empty street.
Just an alley creeper,
Light on his feet.
A young fighter screaming!
With no time for doubt.
With the pain and anger,
Can’t see a way out.
It ain’t much I’m asking,
I heard him say.
Gotta find me a future --
Move out of my way!
I want it all!
I want it all!
I want it all!
And I want it now!
I want it all!
I want it all!
I want it all!
And I want it now …”
“I Want It All” by Queen. Dear God, I miss hearing this song walking up the ramps after a Chiefs win …
Last Week SU: 4-10-0.
Season to Date SU: 51-39-0.
Last Week ATS: 4-7-3.
Season to Date ATS: 43-42-5
Last Week Upset / Week: accomplished it’s purpose.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-5.
This Week’s Upset / Week: Dolphins (+3) over Steelers.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* at Falcons (-3 ½) 24, Bengals 20.
* Redskins (+3) 31, at Bears 21.
* at Titans (-3) 24, Eagles 10.
* at Dolphins (+3) 27, Steelers 20.
* at Saints 20, Browns (+13) 10.
* Rams (+2 ½) 30, at Bucs 20.
* at Ravens (-13) 49, Bills 3.
* 49ers (-3) 16, at Panthers 10.
* Cardinals (+6 ½) 24, at Seahawks 3.
* Patriots (+3) 41, at Chargers 21.
* at donkeys (-8 ½) 41, raiders 2.
Side note on the donkeys: apparently they play in London next week? Is it evil to root for the plane to go down Titanic-style? It is? Damn. (florida evans voice) Damn, damn, damn!
* Vikings (+2 ½) 31, at Packers 13.
* at Cowboys (-2 ½) 41, Giants 10.
Byes: Colts, Texans, Jets, and Lions.
The Chiefs Prediction:
Here’s what I mean by “Old School Sunday”.
This game sold out officially two weeks ago, when the Chiefs began offering standing-room only tickets. Which means the stands are going to be filled … with people who believe in this team.
Let’s face it – the Jaguars aren’t a marquee team. I wanted to puke seeing that stadium for Dallas and Pittsburgh and denver last year. Sure, us die-hards (and I would define anyone who has given this team his season-ticket money AND wasn’t doing it as a write-off, they actually showed up for the games, for the last three years? That is what the definition of a “die hard” is to me) we were there. But the stadium was infested with their fans. (And hopefully, after the donkeys fans left, we fumigated the place. You can never be too careful with denver fans involved).
So to sell out? AFTER the Indy loss? That says something to me.
It says we’re gonna rock this joint on Sunday.
My buddy Gregg put it best a couple years ago – the best thing, probably the only good thing, about the bottoming out the last couple years, is that there is now zero doubt who the die-hards are. There is not one inch of doubt who truly, passionately, loves this team. Again, I won’t blast anyone who can’t attend due to economic hardship. We’ve all been knocked around the last few years. But I will bash folks who quit going because it suddenly wasn’t “as much fun” or because the team “was losing”. It happens. Deal with it. You all demanded regime change. You got it. Unlike the regime change in Washington DC that was enacted at the end of 2008, the public has given this a chance to work. And it is working.
(My one political side rant, because (a) I have a whole meltdown post planned before election day on what’s coming, and (b) I try to keep these picks non-partisan, save for my hatred of all things denver and oakland. I am completely and utterly torn over what to root for. On the one hand, I am a liberal, and I don’t mind being called that, so long as you use John F. Kennedy’s definition of what a liberal is, and not Rush Limbaugh’s. Secondly, though, Rush put it best – it honestly is in my side’s best interest to lose in historic fashion in ten days. Honestly, it is. Because if we lose 75 in the House, and lose the Senate, under Obama’s watch … he’s pretty much unelectable isn’t he? And then where do we turn in 2012? (To the chick that I strongly endorsed, supported, and financially supported in 2008. The chick who (ssssssh!) won more votes than Barry in the primaries, and had more pledged non-super delegates than Barry. The candidate who, you know, was actually qualified for the job. And sure as all hell wouldn’t have picked Crazy Uncle Joe as her running mate). So I’m torn. Kind of like 2008 for the Chiefs – root for failure on the field to clean house, or root for the wins because, well, its my team? See, I can make an analogy out of anything. I’m that damned good).
Anyways, Sunday, that place will be packed with fans that believe. It’s been what, late 2006, maybe mid 2007, since that was the case?
Furthermore, do you know the last time the Chiefs had a comfortable, never in doubt home win? As in “we’re up double digits at the half, against a crappy foe, so kick off the shoes, relax, and work on the tan in the second half”? 2006, against the 49ers. It’s been five freaking years since we had a layup home win. We used to get 2-3 a year.
Sunday, we get one.
Todd Bauman, welcome to Arrowhead. I’m guessing you’ll never, ever, want to step foot in this stadium again after the experience that awaits you.
If you’re coming Sunday, you know the drill. The menu is breakfast, believe it or not. Mimosa’s, screwdrivers, bloody mary’s, and beer mosas for drinks. Biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, some really greasy bacon and sausage, the good stuff. Feel free to join in and enjoy.
If you aren’t planning on coming … uuh, what’s your excuse? Because unless you have kids or are economically destitute, it’d better be on helluva good one.
At Chiefs (-9) 41, Jaguars 7. As the Chiefs march (linkin park voice) one step closer to a division championship! And I’m about to break!
Monday, October 18, 2010
27 to cherish
I love lists. So today’s post? A list.
My 27 favorite moments in sports. Some of these are “Steve favorite team, driver, or golfer” related. Some of them, have nothing to do with a team I root for (in one instance, I hate both teams involved … but it’s still the greatest football game I’ve ever watched, and one of the great “wow!” finishes in any sporting event ever, especially given what was at stake). And one of these is the scariest moment I’ve ever witnessed. I was absolutely convinced I had just seen my favorite driver die. Somehow … he lived to not only race again, he posted the fastest qualifying time at the Indy 500 barely 20 months later before retiring for good.
Where possible, I’ve linked to the clip on youtube! or other internet sites. And yeah, some of these everyone knows about, some of these matter only to me. But all of them are memorable in their own way.
The only restriction? The play had to occur in my lifetime. So while there are many, many memorable sports moments prior to January 3, 1977 … they are ineligible for this. (I’m specificially thinking of you, pick a play from Super Bowl IV ...)
27. Stephane Matteau scores in double overtime in game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals, to lift the New York Rangers into the Stanley Cup Finals, 1994.
One of the coolest moments in hockey history. Capped off a spectacular comeback, and ultimately the Rangers got the jinx off their backs, winning the Stanley Cup in seven games over the Canucks.
26. Tiger Woods’ 50 plus foot birdie chip on the 16th at Augusta, final round, 2005 Masters.
My favorite hole in golf. And this is just one reason why. Yes, I hate Eldrick T. Woods. But damn, if this doesn’t get you smiling just a little bit. What I wouldn’t give for one shot like this.
25. Kirk Gibson’s home run in the bottom of the 9th, Game One of the 1988 World Series.
Everyone knows this play. And with good reason. This one sends chills down my spine every time I see it. Awesome moment.
24. Joe Nedney misses … nope, he made it! In overtime, at denver, 2006 season finale.
The kick that completed the Immactulate Fourfecta that somehow, some way, got the 2006 Chiefs into the playoffs.
23. Payne Stewart birdies the 18th at Pinehurst to win the US Open, 1999.
Yeah, he beat my favorite golfer (Phil Mickelson) to accomplish this. But I always loved Payne Stewart as well. Sadly, he would die less than three months later in a tragic plane accident. If you’ve never read the SI recap of the 1999 US Open, you need to. Payne Stewart was one of the greatest human beings to ever walk this planet. After reading the article linked here, you’ll understand why. We need more Payne Stewart’s in this world, and a helluva lot less Tiger Woods type people.
22a. Guy Carbonneau (temporarily) saves the Stars season, scoring to tie the game with 1:23 to play, game 5, 1998 Western Conference Finals.
22b. Jamie Langenbrunner ultimately wins the draw to open overtime, shoots the puck on the net … and scores! Game 5, 1998 Western Conference Finals.
The 1997 Stars had hockey’s best record. The 1999 Stars were the team that won the Stanley Cup. The 2000 Stars made it back to the Finals. But the 1998 team was the best of the bunch. Trailing 3-1 to the eventual Cup champion Red Wings, the Stars returned home for game 5. Detroit scored two early goals, Dallas answered one of them, and as the clock painfully wound down, it looked like the season was over.
Until Guy Carbonneau, an afterthought forward playing on the third line, stole the puck, stormed in on Chris Osgood, wrapped behind the net, and fired a bullet into the back of the goal with 90 seconds left, to tie the game at 2. In a basement in Lenexa, this (at the time) hot as hell 21 year old was going crazy. I even got the “shut up down there!” warning from my mom, I was so giddy with excitement (and booze, of course).
So you can only imagine the noise level when, to open the overtime period, Jamie Langenbrunner secured the puck, and fired it on net just for the hell of it … and it went right between Chris Osgood’s legs for the win. Awesome stuff.
21. The slow roller up the line, game 6, 1986 World Series.
I know the 1985 Royals won the World Series … but the team that made me love baseball was the 1986 Mets. Trailing in the 10th by two runs, with two outs and nobody on, it looks like Boston is finally going to win the World Series. Then, after a couple hits and a questionable pitching change, Mookie Wilson hits it down the line, Bill Buckner sees it roll between his legs, Ray Knight scores, and the Mets force game seven, which they would go on to win.
20. Sam Hornish Jr. passes Marco Andretti on the final lap, 2006 Indy 500.
It’s still the greatest race I’ve ever seen in person. Four lead changes in the last six laps, two of them involving a family that is cursed at that track. And then, the final lap, the coolest 30 seconds of racing I’ve ever been privileged enough to have paid to witness. I’ve always said people who don’t like racing, just need to go to a race, and they’ll change their mind. If you could attend this one and not leave a fan, you just don’t like sports period.
19. “Yes Sir!” Jack Nicklaus birdies 17 to all but wrap up a comeback for the ages, 1986 Masters.
Not even ten moments in, and Verne Lundquist makes his second appearance. And he’s got at least one more coming, via the finish to (arguably) the greatest college basketball game ever played.
18. Grbac. Rison. Touchdown. Week 2, 1997.
The best part is still the commentary post-touchdown, as Frank, Al and Dan are just piling on the pathetic raiders. And then Al drops the all time classic “And Andre Rison has just burned al davis’ house to the ground. If you know what I mean”. I miss the old MNF crew. I really, really, really miss those guys.
17. Tomas Scheckter takes out Kenny Brack at Texas Motor Speedway, final race of the 2003 IRL season.
Warning: not for the squeamish, the easily terrified, or folks who can’t handle stomach-turning crashes. Kenny Brack was my favorite open wheel driver. Somehow, he lived through this. I’d be lying if I said I knew how, other than the IndyCar design is by far and away the safest designed race car in the world. Just watch the clip. He not only lived … he suffered no permanent damage. Unreal.
And call me crazy – but when a wreck is so horrific that the officials call the race as a result of it occurring (even Brian Barnhart and the IRL were convinced they’d just seen a guy die), it’s pretty memorable.
16a. David Ortiz homers in the 10th to win game four, 2004 ALCS.
16b. David Ortiz singles home the game winner in the 14th to win game five, 2004 ALCS.
It’s the greatest postseason series in baseball history. It ended 90 years of domination, 90 years of frustration and amazing defeats. And it was all fueled by a stolen base in the 9th inning of game four. I can’t decide which Ortiz hit was more memorable, so I picked them both.
15. John Starks posterizes Michael Jordan, game two, 1993 Eastern Conference Finals.
My favorite play in NBA history. I literally had to have stitches after this game, and still have the scar on my left hand to this day, from where I got so excited seeing this live, that I lept off the couch, raised said left hand as a fist into the air to pump it in celebration … and sent it through a light bulb, ripping open the skin between my 2nd and 3rd fingers. Yeah, I get kind of emotional about teams I like …
14. Jason Lezak rallies to somehow, someway, keep Michael Phelps dream of 8 gold medals alive, 2008 Beijing Olympics.
Dan Hicks call on the final 100 meters is absolutely awesome. As was the comeback. Again, call me crazy, but when two relatively normal guys are sitting on a couch late at night, watching swimming, and are screaming hysterically at the TV screen in celebration as this unfolds, it’s memorable. (The two “relatively normal guys” being me and Dusty, of course).
13a. Kirby Puckett saves the game by making a wall-climbing catch in the top of the 11th, game 6, 1991 World Series.
13b. Kirby Puckett wins the game with a home run blast in the bottom of the 11th, game 6, 1991 World Series.
“We’ll see you tomorrow night!” Awesome, awesome moment.
12. Christian Laettner wins the greatest college basketball game ever played, in overtime. Duke 104, Kentucky 103, 1992 East Regional final.
Another one of those moments that should send chills down everyone’s spine. And another brilliant Verne Lundquist call.
11. Robby Gordon runs out of fuel on the final lap, allowing Kenny Brack to win, 1999 Indy 500.
Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving prick. Also rules that my favorite driver was the beneficiary of his fuel calculation mistake.
10. Tamarick Vanover returns a punt in overtime to beat the defending AFC Champion Chargers on “Monday Night Football”, week 6 1995.
What everyone forgets about this game … is that the Chiefs defense held on goal-to-go inside of two minutes to play, forcing the Chargers to kick a field goal to make the score 17-10 with 1:12 to play. And then Steve Bono calmly led a touchdown-tying drive to Derrick Walker with :13 to play.
That … and this was only #10? My favorite Chiefs play ever … was only #10?!?! Holy cow! There have been some magnificent moments in my lifetime, if my favorite team’s favorite play can’t get out of the double digits on the listing …
9. “Do you believe in miracles?” USA 4, USSR 3, 1980 Lake Placid Olympics.
The HBO documentary on the 1980 US Hockey team is the best documentary they’ve ever done. And that’s saying something. I guess if I had to pick a “moment” in this game, it would be Eruzione’s goal to put the USA up for good … but come on. It’s the last ten seconds that make this. Al Michaels awesome summation of what he just witnessed. Hell yes I believe in miracles.
8. Mark McGwire hits number 62, vs Cubs, to set the all time single season home run mark, September 1998.
I don’t care if he was using every cheating substance known to man. I couldn’t turn away from the home run chase in 1998. I was bribing friends to drive the 3 ½ hours to St. Louis with me every Saturday just to see one or two games of it in person. I went to every Cubs game at the K that summer, just to say I saw Sammy Sosa. Me and Gregg even took a trip to Wrigley to see the Cubs play (it helped that his folks lived in Illinois back then). You can look back on it now with a tainted view … or you can look back on it and remember just how awesome the Chase was that summer, and smile and relive the good times, like I choose to do.
7. “Owens! Owens! He caught it! He caught it!” Terrell Owens catches a 33 yard touchdown with :03 left to lift the 49ers to a victory over the Packers, 1998 NFC Wild Card game.
That was Joe Starkey’s call as Terrell Owens scored with :03 left. Sensical nonsense, if you will. You’re in such shock over what you’ve just seen, that you just state the obvious. “He caught it! He caught it!”
It’s the greatest football game of my lifetime. And nothing else has ever come close.
That, and listen to the Madden / Summerall call too – John Madden can’t do anything other than react as a fan would – he just laughs and claps and is in euphoric shock, while Pat Summerall shows more emotion with this call than he did in 50,000 others combined, he’s genuinely excited. When you move Madden to speechlessness, and Summerall to excitement, THAT’S a play for the ages.
6. “We go to a 7th!” Dane Iorg singles home two runs, as the Royals rally to beat the Cardinals 2-1, game 6, 1985 World Series.
The only reason it doesn’t rank higher, is because I was 8, and don’t remember it as well as I should. Oh, and Cardinals fans? Orta was thrown out at third. The call DID NOT MATTER! Because he was out anyways! Ugh. I hate Cardinals fans, so pompous and arrogant, thinking they’re God’s gift to the state.
5. Phil Mickelson birdies 18 to win the 2004 Masters.
It’s not just the fact that he finally won a Major. It’s HOW he won it. He was essentially five shots behind Ernie Els as he stood on the 12th tee on Sunday (Els eagled 13 right after he teed off). 5 shots back with 7 to go. His finish?
Birdied 12.
Birdied 13.
Birdied 14 (and came within two inches of eagle).
Birdied 15.
Birdied 16.
Parred 17.
Birdied 18.
That’s how you win a major.
4. Kasey Kahne holds off Kevin Harvick and Tony Stewart on a five lap sprint to the finish, to win his first ever NASCAR Sprint Cup race, Richmond spring race, 2005.
Yes, I was crying on the back deck watching this. But as bad as 2005 was for Kasey (he finished an after-thought in the Cup standings), there were still two more really cool moments I was lucky enough to witness in person. He and Tony Stewart (my two favorite drivers) dueled every one of the 160 laps that August at the Brickyard, finishing 1-2, as Stewart finally won at his home town track. And then in early October, Kasey won the Busch series race at Kansas, an awesome two lap shootout with Greg Biffle that I still have no idea how he won, only that afterwards, it was party on in the parking lot with Brett, Phil and Dusty. (You know, for a kid who says he doesn’t like racing, that Dusty guy sure shows up a lot at races … I’m just saying … it’s ok to embrace your racing fanhood – God knows if they’ll have a liberal Democrat like me in their ranks, they’ll take anybody …)
There’s only three left. Two of them eventually led to a collegiate national championship for their respective teams. The other occurred not even six months ago, and still makes me tear up whenever it gets played. Here we go …
3. Cory Schlesinger takes a simple handoff up the middle, and goes 19 yards untouched, to give Nebraska the lead, 1994 Orange Bowl.
New Years Eve 1994. My buddy Bunch was hosting a party for all of us. I was Mr. Anti Social, spending four plus hours watching this game in his living room with whoever wandered in. (Even back then, I apparently frightened people with my emotional responses to live sporting events. Yikes).
I grew up a Huskers fan. I still want to see Nebraska succeed in football, even now. But this championship, was a generation in the making. And to go into Miami, against the #3 Hurricanes, in their home stadium, and beat them, to finally give Dr. Tom his title? You betcha I cried. My favorite moment though is still the immediate reaction after the touchdown, as a completely demoralized and whipped Warren Sapp walks off the field. The look on his face is just awesome, a “why bother to try, we can’t beat these guys” look of defeat.
2. Landon Donovan scores in extra time to beat Algeria, 2010 FIFA World Cup.
Was “watching” this live at work on the espn.com Game Cast, and got so frustrated with its slow response time, that I dialed up Univision to be able to see a live feed and listen to one as well.
And as great as Ian Darke’s call was on ESPN … come on. To hear Andres Cantor screaming “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!” is just awe-inspiring. Especially when it is your country doing the scoring. That moment was just freaking awesome. I literally was shaking from the emotion of the moment. (That, or the withdrawal from drinking the night before). Just awesome, awesome stuff.
But your undisputed winner …
1. “Chalmers for the tie … YES!” Mario Chalmers drains a top of the key three to tie Memphis, 2008 National Championship game.
If you said “Steve immediately began bawling, dropped to his knees, pounded the floor, then curled up in the fetal position for four straight minutes doing nothing but crying and screaming “YES! YES!” as Dusty and Megan alternated between looks of horror and laughing at him” was my reaction to the shot … you’d be exactly right.
And I make no apologies for it. Because that’s the beauty of sports. It brings out the best and the worst in people. But usually, the best. Which is why I love sports.
Jags stuff coming tomorrow, picks coming no later than Friday, and (sssssh!) the Chiefs open as a 4 point favorite on Sunday. I think the nation is starting to pick up on the fact that (ssssssh!) these guys aren’t half bad …
My 27 favorite moments in sports. Some of these are “Steve favorite team, driver, or golfer” related. Some of them, have nothing to do with a team I root for (in one instance, I hate both teams involved … but it’s still the greatest football game I’ve ever watched, and one of the great “wow!” finishes in any sporting event ever, especially given what was at stake). And one of these is the scariest moment I’ve ever witnessed. I was absolutely convinced I had just seen my favorite driver die. Somehow … he lived to not only race again, he posted the fastest qualifying time at the Indy 500 barely 20 months later before retiring for good.
Where possible, I’ve linked to the clip on youtube! or other internet sites. And yeah, some of these everyone knows about, some of these matter only to me. But all of them are memorable in their own way.
The only restriction? The play had to occur in my lifetime. So while there are many, many memorable sports moments prior to January 3, 1977 … they are ineligible for this. (I’m specificially thinking of you, pick a play from Super Bowl IV ...)
27. Stephane Matteau scores in double overtime in game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals, to lift the New York Rangers into the Stanley Cup Finals, 1994.
One of the coolest moments in hockey history. Capped off a spectacular comeback, and ultimately the Rangers got the jinx off their backs, winning the Stanley Cup in seven games over the Canucks.
26. Tiger Woods’ 50 plus foot birdie chip on the 16th at Augusta, final round, 2005 Masters.
My favorite hole in golf. And this is just one reason why. Yes, I hate Eldrick T. Woods. But damn, if this doesn’t get you smiling just a little bit. What I wouldn’t give for one shot like this.
25. Kirk Gibson’s home run in the bottom of the 9th, Game One of the 1988 World Series.
Everyone knows this play. And with good reason. This one sends chills down my spine every time I see it. Awesome moment.
24. Joe Nedney misses … nope, he made it! In overtime, at denver, 2006 season finale.
The kick that completed the Immactulate Fourfecta that somehow, some way, got the 2006 Chiefs into the playoffs.
23. Payne Stewart birdies the 18th at Pinehurst to win the US Open, 1999.
Yeah, he beat my favorite golfer (Phil Mickelson) to accomplish this. But I always loved Payne Stewart as well. Sadly, he would die less than three months later in a tragic plane accident. If you’ve never read the SI recap of the 1999 US Open, you need to. Payne Stewart was one of the greatest human beings to ever walk this planet. After reading the article linked here, you’ll understand why. We need more Payne Stewart’s in this world, and a helluva lot less Tiger Woods type people.
22a. Guy Carbonneau (temporarily) saves the Stars season, scoring to tie the game with 1:23 to play, game 5, 1998 Western Conference Finals.
22b. Jamie Langenbrunner ultimately wins the draw to open overtime, shoots the puck on the net … and scores! Game 5, 1998 Western Conference Finals.
The 1997 Stars had hockey’s best record. The 1999 Stars were the team that won the Stanley Cup. The 2000 Stars made it back to the Finals. But the 1998 team was the best of the bunch. Trailing 3-1 to the eventual Cup champion Red Wings, the Stars returned home for game 5. Detroit scored two early goals, Dallas answered one of them, and as the clock painfully wound down, it looked like the season was over.
Until Guy Carbonneau, an afterthought forward playing on the third line, stole the puck, stormed in on Chris Osgood, wrapped behind the net, and fired a bullet into the back of the goal with 90 seconds left, to tie the game at 2. In a basement in Lenexa, this (at the time) hot as hell 21 year old was going crazy. I even got the “shut up down there!” warning from my mom, I was so giddy with excitement (and booze, of course).
So you can only imagine the noise level when, to open the overtime period, Jamie Langenbrunner secured the puck, and fired it on net just for the hell of it … and it went right between Chris Osgood’s legs for the win. Awesome stuff.
21. The slow roller up the line, game 6, 1986 World Series.
I know the 1985 Royals won the World Series … but the team that made me love baseball was the 1986 Mets. Trailing in the 10th by two runs, with two outs and nobody on, it looks like Boston is finally going to win the World Series. Then, after a couple hits and a questionable pitching change, Mookie Wilson hits it down the line, Bill Buckner sees it roll between his legs, Ray Knight scores, and the Mets force game seven, which they would go on to win.
20. Sam Hornish Jr. passes Marco Andretti on the final lap, 2006 Indy 500.
It’s still the greatest race I’ve ever seen in person. Four lead changes in the last six laps, two of them involving a family that is cursed at that track. And then, the final lap, the coolest 30 seconds of racing I’ve ever been privileged enough to have paid to witness. I’ve always said people who don’t like racing, just need to go to a race, and they’ll change their mind. If you could attend this one and not leave a fan, you just don’t like sports period.
19. “Yes Sir!” Jack Nicklaus birdies 17 to all but wrap up a comeback for the ages, 1986 Masters.
Not even ten moments in, and Verne Lundquist makes his second appearance. And he’s got at least one more coming, via the finish to (arguably) the greatest college basketball game ever played.
18. Grbac. Rison. Touchdown. Week 2, 1997.
The best part is still the commentary post-touchdown, as Frank, Al and Dan are just piling on the pathetic raiders. And then Al drops the all time classic “And Andre Rison has just burned al davis’ house to the ground. If you know what I mean”. I miss the old MNF crew. I really, really, really miss those guys.
17. Tomas Scheckter takes out Kenny Brack at Texas Motor Speedway, final race of the 2003 IRL season.
Warning: not for the squeamish, the easily terrified, or folks who can’t handle stomach-turning crashes. Kenny Brack was my favorite open wheel driver. Somehow, he lived through this. I’d be lying if I said I knew how, other than the IndyCar design is by far and away the safest designed race car in the world. Just watch the clip. He not only lived … he suffered no permanent damage. Unreal.
And call me crazy – but when a wreck is so horrific that the officials call the race as a result of it occurring (even Brian Barnhart and the IRL were convinced they’d just seen a guy die), it’s pretty memorable.
16a. David Ortiz homers in the 10th to win game four, 2004 ALCS.
16b. David Ortiz singles home the game winner in the 14th to win game five, 2004 ALCS.
It’s the greatest postseason series in baseball history. It ended 90 years of domination, 90 years of frustration and amazing defeats. And it was all fueled by a stolen base in the 9th inning of game four. I can’t decide which Ortiz hit was more memorable, so I picked them both.
15. John Starks posterizes Michael Jordan, game two, 1993 Eastern Conference Finals.
My favorite play in NBA history. I literally had to have stitches after this game, and still have the scar on my left hand to this day, from where I got so excited seeing this live, that I lept off the couch, raised said left hand as a fist into the air to pump it in celebration … and sent it through a light bulb, ripping open the skin between my 2nd and 3rd fingers. Yeah, I get kind of emotional about teams I like …
14. Jason Lezak rallies to somehow, someway, keep Michael Phelps dream of 8 gold medals alive, 2008 Beijing Olympics.
Dan Hicks call on the final 100 meters is absolutely awesome. As was the comeback. Again, call me crazy, but when two relatively normal guys are sitting on a couch late at night, watching swimming, and are screaming hysterically at the TV screen in celebration as this unfolds, it’s memorable. (The two “relatively normal guys” being me and Dusty, of course).
13a. Kirby Puckett saves the game by making a wall-climbing catch in the top of the 11th, game 6, 1991 World Series.
13b. Kirby Puckett wins the game with a home run blast in the bottom of the 11th, game 6, 1991 World Series.
“We’ll see you tomorrow night!” Awesome, awesome moment.
12. Christian Laettner wins the greatest college basketball game ever played, in overtime. Duke 104, Kentucky 103, 1992 East Regional final.
Another one of those moments that should send chills down everyone’s spine. And another brilliant Verne Lundquist call.
11. Robby Gordon runs out of fuel on the final lap, allowing Kenny Brack to win, 1999 Indy 500.
Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving prick. Also rules that my favorite driver was the beneficiary of his fuel calculation mistake.
10. Tamarick Vanover returns a punt in overtime to beat the defending AFC Champion Chargers on “Monday Night Football”, week 6 1995.
What everyone forgets about this game … is that the Chiefs defense held on goal-to-go inside of two minutes to play, forcing the Chargers to kick a field goal to make the score 17-10 with 1:12 to play. And then Steve Bono calmly led a touchdown-tying drive to Derrick Walker with :13 to play.
That … and this was only #10? My favorite Chiefs play ever … was only #10?!?! Holy cow! There have been some magnificent moments in my lifetime, if my favorite team’s favorite play can’t get out of the double digits on the listing …
9. “Do you believe in miracles?” USA 4, USSR 3, 1980 Lake Placid Olympics.
The HBO documentary on the 1980 US Hockey team is the best documentary they’ve ever done. And that’s saying something. I guess if I had to pick a “moment” in this game, it would be Eruzione’s goal to put the USA up for good … but come on. It’s the last ten seconds that make this. Al Michaels awesome summation of what he just witnessed. Hell yes I believe in miracles.
8. Mark McGwire hits number 62, vs Cubs, to set the all time single season home run mark, September 1998.
I don’t care if he was using every cheating substance known to man. I couldn’t turn away from the home run chase in 1998. I was bribing friends to drive the 3 ½ hours to St. Louis with me every Saturday just to see one or two games of it in person. I went to every Cubs game at the K that summer, just to say I saw Sammy Sosa. Me and Gregg even took a trip to Wrigley to see the Cubs play (it helped that his folks lived in Illinois back then). You can look back on it now with a tainted view … or you can look back on it and remember just how awesome the Chase was that summer, and smile and relive the good times, like I choose to do.
7. “Owens! Owens! He caught it! He caught it!” Terrell Owens catches a 33 yard touchdown with :03 left to lift the 49ers to a victory over the Packers, 1998 NFC Wild Card game.
That was Joe Starkey’s call as Terrell Owens scored with :03 left. Sensical nonsense, if you will. You’re in such shock over what you’ve just seen, that you just state the obvious. “He caught it! He caught it!”
It’s the greatest football game of my lifetime. And nothing else has ever come close.
That, and listen to the Madden / Summerall call too – John Madden can’t do anything other than react as a fan would – he just laughs and claps and is in euphoric shock, while Pat Summerall shows more emotion with this call than he did in 50,000 others combined, he’s genuinely excited. When you move Madden to speechlessness, and Summerall to excitement, THAT’S a play for the ages.
6. “We go to a 7th!” Dane Iorg singles home two runs, as the Royals rally to beat the Cardinals 2-1, game 6, 1985 World Series.
The only reason it doesn’t rank higher, is because I was 8, and don’t remember it as well as I should. Oh, and Cardinals fans? Orta was thrown out at third. The call DID NOT MATTER! Because he was out anyways! Ugh. I hate Cardinals fans, so pompous and arrogant, thinking they’re God’s gift to the state.
5. Phil Mickelson birdies 18 to win the 2004 Masters.
It’s not just the fact that he finally won a Major. It’s HOW he won it. He was essentially five shots behind Ernie Els as he stood on the 12th tee on Sunday (Els eagled 13 right after he teed off). 5 shots back with 7 to go. His finish?
Birdied 12.
Birdied 13.
Birdied 14 (and came within two inches of eagle).
Birdied 15.
Birdied 16.
Parred 17.
Birdied 18.
That’s how you win a major.
4. Kasey Kahne holds off Kevin Harvick and Tony Stewart on a five lap sprint to the finish, to win his first ever NASCAR Sprint Cup race, Richmond spring race, 2005.
Yes, I was crying on the back deck watching this. But as bad as 2005 was for Kasey (he finished an after-thought in the Cup standings), there were still two more really cool moments I was lucky enough to witness in person. He and Tony Stewart (my two favorite drivers) dueled every one of the 160 laps that August at the Brickyard, finishing 1-2, as Stewart finally won at his home town track. And then in early October, Kasey won the Busch series race at Kansas, an awesome two lap shootout with Greg Biffle that I still have no idea how he won, only that afterwards, it was party on in the parking lot with Brett, Phil and Dusty. (You know, for a kid who says he doesn’t like racing, that Dusty guy sure shows up a lot at races … I’m just saying … it’s ok to embrace your racing fanhood – God knows if they’ll have a liberal Democrat like me in their ranks, they’ll take anybody …)
There’s only three left. Two of them eventually led to a collegiate national championship for their respective teams. The other occurred not even six months ago, and still makes me tear up whenever it gets played. Here we go …
3. Cory Schlesinger takes a simple handoff up the middle, and goes 19 yards untouched, to give Nebraska the lead, 1994 Orange Bowl.
New Years Eve 1994. My buddy Bunch was hosting a party for all of us. I was Mr. Anti Social, spending four plus hours watching this game in his living room with whoever wandered in. (Even back then, I apparently frightened people with my emotional responses to live sporting events. Yikes).
I grew up a Huskers fan. I still want to see Nebraska succeed in football, even now. But this championship, was a generation in the making. And to go into Miami, against the #3 Hurricanes, in their home stadium, and beat them, to finally give Dr. Tom his title? You betcha I cried. My favorite moment though is still the immediate reaction after the touchdown, as a completely demoralized and whipped Warren Sapp walks off the field. The look on his face is just awesome, a “why bother to try, we can’t beat these guys” look of defeat.
2. Landon Donovan scores in extra time to beat Algeria, 2010 FIFA World Cup.
Was “watching” this live at work on the espn.com Game Cast, and got so frustrated with its slow response time, that I dialed up Univision to be able to see a live feed and listen to one as well.
And as great as Ian Darke’s call was on ESPN … come on. To hear Andres Cantor screaming “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!” is just awe-inspiring. Especially when it is your country doing the scoring. That moment was just freaking awesome. I literally was shaking from the emotion of the moment. (That, or the withdrawal from drinking the night before). Just awesome, awesome stuff.
But your undisputed winner …
1. “Chalmers for the tie … YES!” Mario Chalmers drains a top of the key three to tie Memphis, 2008 National Championship game.
If you said “Steve immediately began bawling, dropped to his knees, pounded the floor, then curled up in the fetal position for four straight minutes doing nothing but crying and screaming “YES! YES!” as Dusty and Megan alternated between looks of horror and laughing at him” was my reaction to the shot … you’d be exactly right.
And I make no apologies for it. Because that’s the beauty of sports. It brings out the best and the worst in people. But usually, the best. Which is why I love sports.
Jags stuff coming tomorrow, picks coming no later than Friday, and (sssssh!) the Chiefs open as a 4 point favorite on Sunday. I think the nation is starting to pick up on the fact that (ssssssh!) these guys aren’t half bad …
Sunday, October 17, 2010
(richard the ameristar blackjack dealer voice) practice!
“You’ve got all that I need …
We’re looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I, (with you)
I know that I’m good for something
So let’s go and give it a try (we’ve got)
Our backs against the ocean,
It’s just us against the world –
Looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I.
Looking at all or nothing --
Babe it’s you and I …”
“All or Nothing”, by Theory of a Deadman …
Since I am not one given to hyperbole or overstatement, I will open by saying this:
The Chiefs just blew clinching the division for all intents and purposes today.
Had the Chiefs held on today, they would have been 2 ½ clear of every other team, coming home for two straight winnable (yet frighteningly tough) home games, knowing that:
(a) the donkeys and raiders are playing a virtual elimination game in denver on Sunday, and
(b) the Chargers host the Patriots in another “win or else” game on Sunday.
We choked. There’s no other way to put it. We got more help than even on the Immaculate Quadrefecta Sunday today. We should have buried the division today. Scott Pioli should have been sending out a letter tomorrow I’m nearly creaming my pants in anticipation of receiving, demanding playoff ticket money from me.
The division was there to grab by the throat today … and we gagged.
But that’s ok. As much as I enjoy a Chiefs season, as much as I love this team, it’s not the be all, end all of life. Today sucked … but at the end of the day, we’re better off than we were when the day started. We’re one game closer to clinching a division championship for the first time in seven years, hosting a playoff game for the first time in seven years. Nobody was seriously hurt, nobody died on the field. Today, was a good day, long term.
Which is what makes Sunday so critical. Because we once again have been granted by the scheduling Gods an opportunity to grab this division by the throat.
The donkeys and raiders play in their twice annual “No, seriously, if the terrorists nuke this event, it is NOT a national tragedy” showdown, that this year serves as a virtual elimination game. The loser falls to 2-5, potentially 3 behind the Chiefs hitting their bye, unable to control their own destiny. The Chargers host the Patriots. They are more than capable of losing to those guys, considering they’ve already found a way to lose to the Rams, the Seahawks, and the raiders, none of whom is exactly a powerhouse in this league.
(As a side note: loved the “Orange Out” at fake mile high today. Seriously. I LOVED it. Because cheesy, pathetic “outs” like that, is what teams without a passionate fan base do to drum up support. We’ve NEVER had a “Red Out” at Arrowhead. At least in the last 20 plus years. Because we don’t have to be “told” what to wear. Congratulations patrick j. bowlen, you salary-cap cheating piece of shit, shit not * on purpose. Are you proud of your team, patrick j. bowlen? You proud? Thirteen years ago, as defending NFL champions, you stood before the denver city council and insisted your team could not compete in this league without a new stadium. You got it. And now? You’re a fucking joke to any sensible NFL fan. We LAUGH at what you’ve become. No, screw that – we pop open champagne bottles over what you’ve drug this team into. This is what you are now, a fucking joke, no * on fucking either. You are a mother fucking joke of a franchise. I could not be happier. “Orange Out”. You’re the f*cking Arizona “Super” Cardinals or the Houston f*cking Texans. Used the * for them because unlike you, they’ve never won anything of value and then had to stoop to levels like you are now stooping to.
The denver broncos are a mother fucking joke of a shitty franchise. It’s cool, seriously. I love it. “Orange Out” day. Means only one thing. Repeat after me! “The denver broncos! Have hit! Rock fucking bottom!!!” Can’t wait to beat your ass into a bloody pulp on November 14th, and clinch the division by running up the score on your pathetic asses on December 5th. Good freaking God, I hate that team with every ounce of being I have …)
The Chiefs on Sunday … host the Jags. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say this week about the matchup. I’m sure at some point, I’ll rationally deal with today’s epic collapse in the fourth quarter to steal defeat from the jaws of victory. I might also at some point watch enough replay to actually witness any actual pass interference contact on Flowers part on Andre Johnson that set the Texans up at the two minute warning. I say “might” – there’s a better shot I’ll be sober on November 2nd as the election results pour in, than of me finding any visual evidence to support that penalty. But hey, there’s always a chance.
I think Sunday is a huge, huge game. In the words of the late, great Mike and the Mad Dog, its hu-yuge. We need every damned last one of you in Arrowhead Nation in a seat on Sunday. That place needs to be a madhouse. It needs to be Terrorhead. (I swear, I’m saving the “motivational speech” for Sunday). But we need every damned last one of you who claims to be a Chiefs fan in the stands, wearing the red and gold, ready to lose your voice. I think the last two weeks have shown this team … is very similar to the 1999 squad. They can beat anybody at home if the crowd is there … and will lose heartbreakers every week on the road because the crowd isn’t.
That 1999 squad, my single greatest “what if” in sports history, came up one home win short of being (arguably) the most successful Chiefs team of the last 40 years. Don’t let this upcoming game against Jacksonville be the game you look back on and say “oh, if we’d just done this …” five years from now. Do your part. Be loud! Show up! This team needs you!
Also in need of you … is my fellow companions in life who sit in front of me in 132. Greg suffered a serious health setback a couple weeks ago. Chris promises she’ll be there on Sunday, “because I want to be with my family”. If that doesn’t say it all. We are family at Arrowhead. Keep Chris and Greg in your thoughts and prayers. Light a candle or three at Mass as I did. And … if you need a place to tailgate, a place to vent, a place to just be a Chiefs fan, show up Sunday. We welcome you with open arms. Because if you’re a Chiefs fan, we’re family. We are Arrowhead Nation.
And because come Sunday, in the words of the South Park gang …
“What would Brian Boitano do,
If he was here today?
I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two!
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do …”
We’re gonna kick an ass or two. Or 53, as in the number of folks showing up in Jaguars jerseys on their sideline. Come on. Everyone’s doing it. Come on. Show up. Everyone’s doing it. Come on … or do I have to unleash “Annoying Dusty J” on you? And trust me – I lived with the guy for two years. You do NOT want “annoying Dusty J” unleashed on you … although Dusty J in any form better find a way to get his happy ass in the stadium come Sunday, or else he's gonna deal with "Grizzley Bear Pissed Stevo" ... and I think that might be worse :) ...
We’re looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I, (with you)
I know that I’m good for something
So let’s go and give it a try (we’ve got)
Our backs against the ocean,
It’s just us against the world –
Looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I.
Looking at all or nothing --
Babe it’s you and I …”
“All or Nothing”, by Theory of a Deadman …
Since I am not one given to hyperbole or overstatement, I will open by saying this:
The Chiefs just blew clinching the division for all intents and purposes today.
Had the Chiefs held on today, they would have been 2 ½ clear of every other team, coming home for two straight winnable (yet frighteningly tough) home games, knowing that:
(a) the donkeys and raiders are playing a virtual elimination game in denver on Sunday, and
(b) the Chargers host the Patriots in another “win or else” game on Sunday.
We choked. There’s no other way to put it. We got more help than even on the Immaculate Quadrefecta Sunday today. We should have buried the division today. Scott Pioli should have been sending out a letter tomorrow I’m nearly creaming my pants in anticipation of receiving, demanding playoff ticket money from me.
The division was there to grab by the throat today … and we gagged.
But that’s ok. As much as I enjoy a Chiefs season, as much as I love this team, it’s not the be all, end all of life. Today sucked … but at the end of the day, we’re better off than we were when the day started. We’re one game closer to clinching a division championship for the first time in seven years, hosting a playoff game for the first time in seven years. Nobody was seriously hurt, nobody died on the field. Today, was a good day, long term.
Which is what makes Sunday so critical. Because we once again have been granted by the scheduling Gods an opportunity to grab this division by the throat.
The donkeys and raiders play in their twice annual “No, seriously, if the terrorists nuke this event, it is NOT a national tragedy” showdown, that this year serves as a virtual elimination game. The loser falls to 2-5, potentially 3 behind the Chiefs hitting their bye, unable to control their own destiny. The Chargers host the Patriots. They are more than capable of losing to those guys, considering they’ve already found a way to lose to the Rams, the Seahawks, and the raiders, none of whom is exactly a powerhouse in this league.
(As a side note: loved the “Orange Out” at fake mile high today. Seriously. I LOVED it. Because cheesy, pathetic “outs” like that, is what teams without a passionate fan base do to drum up support. We’ve NEVER had a “Red Out” at Arrowhead. At least in the last 20 plus years. Because we don’t have to be “told” what to wear. Congratulations patrick j. bowlen, you salary-cap cheating piece of shit, shit not * on purpose. Are you proud of your team, patrick j. bowlen? You proud? Thirteen years ago, as defending NFL champions, you stood before the denver city council and insisted your team could not compete in this league without a new stadium. You got it. And now? You’re a fucking joke to any sensible NFL fan. We LAUGH at what you’ve become. No, screw that – we pop open champagne bottles over what you’ve drug this team into. This is what you are now, a fucking joke, no * on fucking either. You are a mother fucking joke of a franchise. I could not be happier. “Orange Out”. You’re the f*cking Arizona “Super” Cardinals or the Houston f*cking Texans. Used the * for them because unlike you, they’ve never won anything of value and then had to stoop to levels like you are now stooping to.
The denver broncos are a mother fucking joke of a shitty franchise. It’s cool, seriously. I love it. “Orange Out” day. Means only one thing. Repeat after me! “The denver broncos! Have hit! Rock fucking bottom!!!” Can’t wait to beat your ass into a bloody pulp on November 14th, and clinch the division by running up the score on your pathetic asses on December 5th. Good freaking God, I hate that team with every ounce of being I have …)
The Chiefs on Sunday … host the Jags. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say this week about the matchup. I’m sure at some point, I’ll rationally deal with today’s epic collapse in the fourth quarter to steal defeat from the jaws of victory. I might also at some point watch enough replay to actually witness any actual pass interference contact on Flowers part on Andre Johnson that set the Texans up at the two minute warning. I say “might” – there’s a better shot I’ll be sober on November 2nd as the election results pour in, than of me finding any visual evidence to support that penalty. But hey, there’s always a chance.
I think Sunday is a huge, huge game. In the words of the late, great Mike and the Mad Dog, its hu-yuge. We need every damned last one of you in Arrowhead Nation in a seat on Sunday. That place needs to be a madhouse. It needs to be Terrorhead. (I swear, I’m saving the “motivational speech” for Sunday). But we need every damned last one of you who claims to be a Chiefs fan in the stands, wearing the red and gold, ready to lose your voice. I think the last two weeks have shown this team … is very similar to the 1999 squad. They can beat anybody at home if the crowd is there … and will lose heartbreakers every week on the road because the crowd isn’t.
That 1999 squad, my single greatest “what if” in sports history, came up one home win short of being (arguably) the most successful Chiefs team of the last 40 years. Don’t let this upcoming game against Jacksonville be the game you look back on and say “oh, if we’d just done this …” five years from now. Do your part. Be loud! Show up! This team needs you!
Also in need of you … is my fellow companions in life who sit in front of me in 132. Greg suffered a serious health setback a couple weeks ago. Chris promises she’ll be there on Sunday, “because I want to be with my family”. If that doesn’t say it all. We are family at Arrowhead. Keep Chris and Greg in your thoughts and prayers. Light a candle or three at Mass as I did. And … if you need a place to tailgate, a place to vent, a place to just be a Chiefs fan, show up Sunday. We welcome you with open arms. Because if you’re a Chiefs fan, we’re family. We are Arrowhead Nation.
And because come Sunday, in the words of the South Park gang …
“What would Brian Boitano do,
If he was here today?
I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two!
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do …”
We’re gonna kick an ass or two. Or 53, as in the number of folks showing up in Jaguars jerseys on their sideline. Come on. Everyone’s doing it. Come on. Show up. Everyone’s doing it. Come on … or do I have to unleash “Annoying Dusty J” on you? And trust me – I lived with the guy for two years. You do NOT want “annoying Dusty J” unleashed on you … although Dusty J in any form better find a way to get his happy ass in the stadium come Sunday, or else he's gonna deal with "Grizzley Bear Pissed Stevo" ... and I think that might be worse :) ...
Friday, October 15, 2010
the week six picks
"I miss the sound of your voice.
The loudest thing in my head.
And I ache to remember,
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said.
If I could walk on water,
If I could tell you what's next,
I'd make you believe,
I'd make you forget,
So come on get higher,
Loosen my lips,
Faith and desire,
In the swing of your hips,
Just pull me down hard,
And drown me in love ..."
-- "Come on Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson. I've heard Sugarland's version. It's decent. But it's not the original. The way Matt nails "I hear angels and devils and God when you COME ... on. HOLD ... on. Jennifer Nettles can't nail it like he does. The way he sings it just ... ooh. Just, ooh. Perfectly nails the moment. Without the Cialus bath tub. The original still rules.
And the reason for this song pick? Just keep reading until the completely uninspiring, rambling, "where the hell is this guy going with this ... oh, got it, ten paragraphs later" Chiefs prediction. It's a Steve "17 page printout" classic! Its an Old School Thursday! Or, at least a "we're 9 days away, start buying your tickets now!" Pimpin' Thursday! If, you know, I was old (shut up Dusty!), was in school, was a pimp, and this was posting on a Thursday ...
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Last Week SU: 7-7-0
Season to Date SU: 47-29-0
Last Week ATS: 8-6-0
Season to Date ATS: 39-35-2
Last Week Upset / Week: no bueno.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-3
This Week's Upset / Week: If I'm going down, I'm going down in flames with two of the three most irrational, "what the f*ck" lines of the week. Its a Two For Weekend! raiders (+6 1/2) over 49ers, and donkeys (+3) over Jets. How the raiders are a touchdown underdog to a winless team coached by a guy the players have quit on, is beyond me. And the Jets? Come on. You know under the "God Hates Steve" rule, that the two teams I live and die with are doomed to always lose in denver ...
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
(Yup, this is the week that swings the season. I love a TON of dogs this week. Either I look like a genius ... or the gambling idiot I've been for fifteen years and counting. There's a reason why I provide this column as a "public service" to the gambling community. Although to be fair, I think I'm better ... screw that, I KNOW I'm better than 95% of the blackjack community, and at least on par with 85% of the pai gow community ...)
* Chargers (-8) 49, at Rams 3.
* at Patriots 35, Ravens (+3) 34.
* at Bucs (+4) 20, Saints 17.
* Falcons (+2 1/2) 38, at Eagles 13.
* at Giants 30, Lions (+10 1/2) 20.
* at Bears (-6 1/2) 34, Seahawks 6.
* Dolphins 21 (NL / Pick), at Packers 20.
* at Steelers (-13 1/2) 51, Browns 3.
* at donkeys (+3) 31, Jets 26.
* raiders (+6 1/2) 27, at 49ers 3.
* Cowboys (+1 1/2) 28, at Vikings 20.
* at Redskins (+3) 20, Colts 13.
* at Jaguars (+3) 24, Titans 20.
The Chiefs Prediction:
(I apologize in advance: this is one of those classic Steve “what the hell is he talking about? This makes no sense … oh, twenty paragraphs later, he makes the point. Got it” commentaries. To be fair, I was long overdue for one of these bad boys. Also to be fair – I am typing this at 11:30 at night, after attending a very interesting fund raiser for a charitable organization that I not only completely endorse … I think, given my political leanings on every other social and most economic issues, most readers would be shocked to know I not only completely endorse, but financially support. (Which means I wasn't at a Hillary 2012 fund raiser. Although I'd happily attend and donate anytime, anywhere, anyplace.)
Well, ok, not every reader would be stunned -- some of you know I am not … whoops, saving that for another blog post later, to try to recruit someone, anyone, to help out a fantastic organization that actually, to steal a phrase from my former employer that sounds more stupid and ridiculous in hindsight than it did at the time they used it, an organization that actually “lives its values” …)
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There’s a fantastic website out there for Chiefs fans, www.kcchiefsgames.com, that I’ve been pulling up while I’ve been busy working this week. (Since the good folks at “Company Steve Works For” have blocked the ability to stream 980, 610, 810, and XM on our network now, I have to have something for background noise. I give it two weeks before this site is blocked. It took them about three weeks to figure out (probably thanks to my constant online streaming) that XM wasn’t blocked …)
Today, I don’t know why, but the second game I “watched” was the raiders defeat in the Y2K bowl. Watching it in hindsight made it even more painful than I remember, to be honest.
For example, I had totally forgotten that the Chiefs were up 14-0 before the offense even stepped on the field. I remembered Vanover’s punt return after the raiders first punt to put us up 7-0, that was still clear as a bell in my head. I’d totally forgotten that the next snap the raiders took … was a Pick Six to James Hasty.
One thing I hadn’t forgotten though, or at least remembered after watching this, was the noise level after Hasty took it to the house. That was another “Steve hits his seat and cries” moment, after re-seeing it. I watched this game sitting next to Jason in his seats in 109. (The pre “Steve Pederson of Tailgating” Years! That was a fun three year stretch after college, for sure. Sadly, I don’t even think we could schedule another “Restore the Tradition” tailgate at this point with “him” still in the picture. That’s … that’s tragic).
Anyways, I know I was crying. I mean, are you kidding me? A must-win, playoffs-on-the-line game against either your most hated or second most hated team (or co-most hated team, in a lot of cases), and five snaps in, you’re up 14-0? Holy cow! Of course I’m shedding tears faster than I shed the t-shirt on an 85 degree sunny day! (anyone who’s tailgated with me on said 85 degree sunny day voice) sweet Jesus, that’s Speedy Gonzalez fast!!!
There were moments in there on the raiders next series (another punt that led to a field goal for the Chiefs) where you couldn’t completely hear Ian Eagle and his craptacular partner actually call the game, it was so loud. I want that again, Chiefs fans. I want that stadium that loud next Sunday. It can happen, if y’all show up and do your part.
(dusty at bowling league last night voice, channeling his “color of money” bad self) Come on. Everybody’s doing it. Come on.
(Possibly the ultimate “you had to be there” moment of the year for me so far. We’ve somehow won game one against a better team, and I didn’t crack 100. For our team to win, we need (a) a crappy game from the opposition, (b) me to top 150, and (c) DJ to push 200. Oh, and Katie to at least push 100. None of us were close in game one other than Katie … and we still won comfortably, thanks to their 220 bowler failing to crack 150.
Infuriated, I storm out, and grab the Jets hat to wear, to at least have something to throw when I hit the “oh no! we suck again!’ moment. DJ, after last year’s “Steve taunts me after bad game / I throw bowling ball at his head in anger” moment that will live (in hindsight, in hilarious) infamy, takes a huge risk -- he sees how absolutely p*ssed off I am after posting our team’s first open in game two (in fairness, it was in the 3rd frame, I opened ok in game two) … and drops the Paul Newman phrases from that movie. “Come on. Everyone’s doing it (getting a mark). Come on, everyone’s doing it”. Brought this “house” down. I could not stop laughing. You gotta love the kid. I mean, how do you respond to that? The perfect phrase at the perfect time. I like to think I trained him well. That, or he caught lightning in a bottle and nailed it once in 2010. It can’t be the latter – this is the “shut up and no!” kid after all, and that doesn’t happen without me to make fun of …)
Oh, back to the Chiefs / raiders ramble. Your craptacular partner? Mark May. Steve Buerelein, I apologize sir. You are no longer the most clueless, inept, incompetent, “I want to meet you just to throw a beer bottle at you, you p*ss me off so much with your commentary” broadcaster to ever call a Chiefs game. Mark May has taken over first place on that list.
(Another craptacular moment? The last time a Chiefs team p*ssed away a gimme playoff berth at home? Granted, it was week four, but even then, you left the stadium knowing “oh crap, this is gonna bite us in the ass come December”. (And it did – we win this game, we get the 6th seed in the AFC, which only gave you … the Super Bowl champs that year, the Steelers. God bless it). That game? The Eagles game in 2005. The Chiefs led 17-0 after a quarter (and 23-7 two possessions later). Just like this game, we rolled early, choked in the middle, and couldn’t rally late. Note to self: if the Chiefs ever get up 17-0 in a do-or-die game again, immediately begin to panic).
As awful as May was though (not even the always rock solid, and highly underrated, Ian Eagle could save this disaster), he kept stressing something that Jon Gruden told them in the production meeting, and it really struck a chord with me.
“Jon Gruden said this is a must win game for his team. They must finish 8-8. Because in order to move up, in order to take the next step, you have to beat the teams that are better than you, especially in your division”.
Words to that effect, over and over and over again as the Chiefs blew the lead … and then the second half was a thrilling back-and-forth, 2003 Colts playoff game type affair where the last team with the ball, would win.
(It’s an amazing last minute. Rich Gannon converts the 5th and 19 … excuse me, 4th and 19 that everyone missed. And yes, I purposely rewound it. Your referee, of “Tuck Rule” infamy two January’s later, Walt Coleman called the personal foul was after the play was completed on 2nd down … yet the raiders came out afterwards in 2nd and 16 (2 yard run to 2 minute warning), then 3rd and 14 (incomplete), then 4th and 14 (incomplete), then a delay of game, making it 5th and 19. But I digress. Gannon drilled a 21 yard pass to tim brown. The raiders tied it on a Joe Nedney 38 yarder with 30 seconds left. 28 seconds later, the Chiefs were trying a 44 yarder to win that just missed left. Really cool last minute of action, really cool. As much as I hate the 5th down … come on, we gave up a 21 yard pass to their best receiver on (down questionable) and 19. That’s on us far more than the ref.)
(Another cool moment: :06 left, and it’s in a booth review. Joe Horn has made a catch to get the Chiefs to the raiders 27. It’s ruled a catch. Only, it wasn’t a catch. Horn clearly didn’t maintain possession. Referee Walt Coleman announces the pass was incomplete. Because Horn had stayed in bounds, however, the clock had kept moving until the booth stepped in within a couple seconds to review it, it was that blatant a bad call. Chiefs didn’t even have time to call their last timeout, the booth stepped in so quickly.
And the crowd gets what the refs missed. As Ian Eagle is in the booth questioning why the refs didn’t put more time on the clock (since the clock should have stopped at the incompletion), 75,000 plus are audibly screaming “Fix The Clock! Fix The Clock! Fix The Clock!”, and the chant started within about 10 seconds of Coleman’s ruling. Don’t tell me Chiefs fans aren’t the most knowledgeable fans on the planet. Eagle even acknowledges the chant while he’s asking why the clock hasn’t been adjusted. Coleman panics … and puts :02 back on the clock, taking it to :08. Plenty of time to run the same freaking play, to the same freaking receiver, only this time he gets out of bounds instead of falling and losing the ball, setting up the final field goal attempt. That moment gave me a Chris Matthews tingle-in-the-leg feeling, that a fanbase, with so much on the line at that moment, instantaneously recognized an officiating gaffe. Not two plays later recognition, immediate recognition. I mention it, because the only other time I’ve ever seen someone in that stadium so acutely aware of clock management? Was mike shanarat in the 2005 donkeys game, immediately after “The Stand”. He bought his team a free timeout by noticing “hey, if our guy was stopped short on 4th down with 2:07 to play, why is the clock now reading 2:00”. Just saying. shanarat’s smart … but we got him beat.)
Anyways, May keeps noting that Gruden, his team 7-8, a non-factor for the playoffs, viewed it as a must-win game. Because he wanted to drill into his team that if they could win this game, they could beat anybody.
The rest, of course, is history. Gruden would lead the raiders to the next two AFC West championships, losing in the AFC Title Game to the eventual champion Ravens in 2000, and losing a gut-wrencher in The Tuck Rule Game to the eventual champion Patriots in 2001. Bill Callahan picked up where Gruden left off, winning the 2002 AFC West championship, and winning the AFC, before losing to Gruden’s Bucs in the Super Bowl. The game here to close the 1999 season, was the springboard for a helluva 3 year run for those guys.
I mention this, for three reasons.
1. I could not agree more with Coach Gruden. To be the best, you have to beat the best, especially the best in your division, no matter where you play them at.
2. To be the best, you have to beat the teams that are at least as good as you are, no matter where you play them at.
3. The 2010 Chiefs have already done (1). Sunday, they get another chance to do (2).
Remember how these guys closed 2009? After losing three straight home games, two of them one-score outcomes we lost as favorites (ugh), the Chiefs hit the road to face the AFC North champion Bengals, and another team unquestionably better than we were, within our own division – the denver broncos. A game that they had to win to stay alive for postseason consideration.
The Chiefs played well at Cincinnati, losing by 3. They took the field at denver a 3-12 also ran that hadn’t beaten anyone of note, unless you count a .500 Steelers team at home in a fluky upset fueled by turnovers and crappy Steelers special teams “of note”. And for the record, I don’t.
They had nothing to play for in denver. The donkeys had everything to play for. Just like the Chiefs and the raiders in the Y2K Bowl.
Chiefs 44, donkeys 20. Jamaal Charles sets a franchise record with 259 yards rushing. DJ returns two interceptions for touchdowns. The Chiefs absolutely took the donkeys, a superior team within the division for at least five of the last six years (the one year I give KC, 2006, is a coin flip, since both finished 9-7 and 1-1 against each other), and took them to the woodshed.
Remember how these guys opened 2010? Facing the defending AFC West Champion Chargers. A team we’d lost 5 straight to, all in embarrassing, most in blowout fashion. A team that had the AFC’s best record last year at 13-3. A team that had won the AFC West 5 of the last 6 years, hadn’t finished below .500 since 2003, has three playoff wins in the last three years, and was (is?) the unquestioned King of the Hill of the division. And we took it to them. Ran it on them all night. Built a lead. Never gave it up. And when push came to shove, we found out what this defense was made of, stopping first and goal. Stuffing second and goal. Rattling Phyllis Rivers on 3rd and goal. And humiliating him on 4th and goal. Four shots against the 31st ranked defense last year, from 6 yards out, and Rivers and his team failed. The Chiefs succeeded.
Point 1 – to be the best, you have to beat the best, especially the best in your division. No matter where you play them. We’ve done that.
Point 2? Sunday, we get a second crack at it.
The Chiefs played well last Sunday. They certainly played well enough to win. Two crucial brain farts (the 4th and 2 decision, D Bowe’s dropped touchdown) killed us. And yet still, realize this – as frustrating as D Bowe’s drop was (and I believe I dropped the “God F*cking Dammit!” blast about 55 times while tossing the stress towel against the chair at DJ and Kellie’s, so yeah, it was “frustrating”, to say the least), as frustrating as that was, WHY was it frustrating?
(Because the Chiefs had the ball, with a shot to take the lead, at Indianapolis, in the 4th quarter).
This wasn’t some drop down 30-7 in a game everyone not named “Steve” or “Gregg” has tuned off. This was a drop in a 9-6 game (that should have been 9-9, ugh, not taking the points still pisses me off, and its been five days. I need to let it go. In time, I guess I will …), a drop in a 9-6 game that we not only had a shot to win … we had a very REALISTIC shot to win. This wasn’t some fluky “what the hell is happening here?!?!” game against Indy, like the 2007 defeat (we lost 13-10 on a field goal as time expired). This wasn’t a “the Colts clearly don’t take us seriously, and they’re just going through the motions” game like that one was.
This was a “holy crap! These guys are hammering peyton manning! These guys are moving the ball! The Brandon Brothers can cover! This team … might be … (gulp) … could be … (hyperventilating) … worth hopping on the bandwagon for!” game.
www.arrowheadpride.com, another multiple-times-a-day visit site for me, has an awesome editor (Joel Thurman) who is a huge stats guy, just like me. (So be warned – if you aren’t a big “Inside the Numbers” person, you’ll probably skip half the stuff he posts. But if you’re a stats geek like me, or just ever wondered “how did Steve know what they were gonna do before they were gonna do it”? Check out his site. The trending, the stats, the “when they face 3rd and whatever, they do this 93% of the time this season” facts are all there for your perusal).
He allowed a guest editor to post this week to post a column on the 2010 Chiefs so far, and how they project. And he has a fascinating article, comparing the 2010 Chiefs … to the last time a Pioli team entered year two of the “rebuild” phase. The 2001 New England Patriots. In case you don’t feel like reading it, here’s the gist of it:
1. As bad as most Chiefs fans think Cassel has been … he’s perfectly on line via projections to match Tom Brady’s 2001 numbers. Oh, and the Chiefs have a complete reversal of the 2001 Pats record after four games – they were 1-3. We’re 3-1.
2. As bad as most Chiefs fans think Bowe has been … he’s perfectly on line via projections to match the Patriots 2nd WR numbers. (The only sucky thing? We don’t have a Troy Brown … yet. I still think Chris Chambers will be heard from before this season is said and done).
But most awesome of all …
3. Both true statistics after four games … and full season projection wise … the 2010 Chiefs defense projects BETTER than the 2001 Patriots defense.
Which was 5th against the run, 1st against the pass, 3rd in scoring … and oh yeah, completely befuddled Mike Martz and the “Greatest Show on Turf” when it counted the most.
(Another neat stat – the Texans offense took 13 snaps in the first quarter last Sunday. They trailed 21-0 after that quarter. Of their 13 plays, 9 were considered “negative” – meaning loss of more than 4.6 yards (the average play in a game gains 4.6 yards), turnover, or sack. The Chiefs, through 4 games, have 17 negative plays total.)
What do I think is going to happen on Sunday? I think, as mentioned earlier this week, the Chiefs are going to open up the playbook. I think you’re finally going to get a Chris Chambers sighting (or two) this week. I think the Chiefs are going to bait Brian Cushing into rushing the passer, opening the middle of the field for Moeaki and Chambers (and Charles out of the backfield on the delayed screen / delayed middle route). I think you’re going to see the most aggressive, down the field, vertically-oriented playcalling the Chiefs have done since Al Saunders was calling the shots in the booth.
(Another neat stat – the Chiefs have 9 sacks this year, which puts them squarely in the middle of the pack, tied for 18th. The NFL leaders have 18, but all except 4 teams have 12 or fewer. Why is this neat? Because 8 of the 9 sacks, occurred on a four man rush. 8 of the 9 were generated when our defensive line and Tamba Hali or DJ were the only four guys rushing the passer. That’s awesome. If your front four (or in our case, front three and Hali or DJ, whichever one isn’t covering the TE / RB safety valve) is generating a pass rush that knocks the passer down with the ball twice a game? You don’t have to blitz. You can then afford to let the Brandon Brothers play man on the corners, let Eric Berry and Jon McGraw play the cover two, and your two linebackers can react to the QB attempting to scramble, cover the third receiver, hell they can pick their nose at that point, you’ve effectively shut down the opposition’s vertical attack. Case in point – the INT the Chiefs had on Manning, was directly because of this exact stat. We only rushed four, they couldn’t block Hali outside or Dorsey inside. Manning had to step up and away, and throw off his front foot, never a good thing. Where cover 2 safety support Jon McGraw had the perfect read, could wait on the throw, and picked it off. Just like the Saints LB in the Super Bowl last year with his Pick Six that sealed the Saints win, the exact same thing happened. If your front four generates a rush on its own, you don’t have to blitz. And if you don’t have to blitz, you can drop up to eight into coverage, to cover at most 5 guys, usually four if your front rush is working that well. To quote the great Homer J. Simpson: “I like those odds!”
As great as Gunther’s defenses were in the 1990s … what made them great was the front four. His first couple years, you had Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Pellum McDaniels, and DT rushing the passer. The later years, you had Dan Williams, Chester McGlockton, Eric Hicks, and DT. If you’ve got two decent corners (Hasty and Carter) and a safety worth a damn (Collins) to go with it, you’re set. To say nothing of having 59 as your middle valve. You can beat anybody with those guys on the field. Anybody. The reason Gun’s second tour of duty failed wasn’t the secondary – I’d go to play with Law, Warfield and Surtain any day against any team, especially with Jerome Woods, Scott Fujita, (eventually, again) Donnie Edwards and the underrated Kawika Mitchell providing the cover two support, it failed because our front four sucked. Nobody other than John Browning for a couple years, and Leslie O’Neal for a game, was worth a damn.)
So, the latest long winded point is this – for the first time since 1999, we’ve got a defense that can beat anybody. The Texans offense is good. But they’re stoppable. If the Chiefs front four can generate the rush they did against Indy, the pressure they’ve put on every opponent so far save San Diego (the secondary won that game for us; Rivers had plenty of time to throw, he just couldn’t find an open receiver save for Gates’ bomb to end the 3rd quarter), it not only will at least slow down the passing game, it will throttle the run. (Like we did for 55 minutes against the Colts. The last drive? My guess is, they were exhausted. The Chiefs were on the field for 6 plays for the first 11 minutes of the quarter. They were gassed. That’s why Mike Hart found the holes he did to put Indy up 10.)
Gary Kubiak admitted this week he abandoned the run last week, in the 2nd quarter, down 21-0. You can ask “why”, as I did – any decent offense can usually make a game of it if you’re down 21 with 45 minutes to go, as long as you stick to the script and what works for you. I would also ask “why not” though, as in “why not put them in this position again”?
I envision a sneaky blitz on an early 3rd down out of the Chiefs, because you’ve got nothing to lose that early on. Its why I loved the onside kick last week so much. Who cares if Indy has a short field to open the game? It’s the first drive of the game! The Chiefs have scored first in one of their four games so far. We have yet to score on our first possession. Has that crippled our ability to win? Take risks in the first quarter, as long as they’re calculated, reasonable games. (Giving up gimme points on a 4th and 2 at the 6 is not a “reasonable, calculated gamble”. That’s “mentally retarded”).
I truly believe the front four can generate the rush on Schaub that we need – because we’re gonna need McGraw, Berry, and Lewis in the cover two / three a lot of the afternoon. This is a damned good offensive team. We’ve got to have the front four generate the pressure, and either DJ/Hali (whoever doesn’t rush) and Williams or Belcher stop Foster for minimal gains. A gain of two up the middle? Not a bad defensive play. Mike Hart juking, weaving, through about 5 defenders 16 yards for a touchdown? That’s not a good defensive play.
Special teams wise, just keep on keeping on. Ryan Succup is turning into the best kicker we’ve had since Pete Stoyanovich prior to that oakland game described in the opening. Dusty C, I love the guy. He’s my favorite punter we’ve had since One-Ball Louie. And not just because of the constant “Dusty C higher than …” jokes after his punts that crack me up for some reason.
Dex and Arenas give us a one-two punch I’m not sure we’ve really ever had. (We tried it in 2006, with Dante Hall running on fumes and “F*ck” Ed Drummond. I still hate that guy). Just continue to average 40 yards a punt, not outkick your coverage. (As Ryan Lefebvre would note: if you’re going to outpunt your coverage, make sure you do it in picking your significant other. That’s when you not only want to outpunt your coverage, you want to punt that sucker so far beyond the coverage units that she’s too awestruck to see your flaws. I obviously haven’t found that chica yet. Anyways.)
Continue having teams start drives inside their 30 after kickoffs. Continue the penalty free returns. Keep holding onto the ball. Keep consistently making everything inside of 40, and regularly make everything inside of 50. (Outside of 50 is a total crapshoot, even if the roof is closed on Sunday as it likely will be. Be fair here).
At the end of the day … I envision a breakthrough. These guys can do it. No less a football expert than Peter King of Sports Illustrated has pegged the Chiefs to win this week. Both the Sports Guy and Cousin Sal could not figure out the line; it made “no sense” to Sal (who is dominating with his picks so far ATS, you can check him out at ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live site).
I believe in this team. I love the fact that on Tuesday, 12 days before the Jaguars game, the Chiefs began selling standing room only tickets. The only way a NFL team can sell SRO tickets? Is if they’ve already met the league definition of a sellout. This town is buying into these guys. Hopefully, you are too.
These teams have played four times when it counts, three at Reliant (which, and I am being dead serious here, is without question THE nicest NFL stadium I have ever stepped foot into. And I’ve been to my fair share of NFL facilities. They have awesome fans, a kick ass tailgating atmosphere that will remind you of Arrowhead 5 years ago, and the stadium itself is beyond state-of-the-art. And did I mention, at least 3 years ago when I was there … they had $4 draws? $4 draws! What the hell?!?! A team that actually gives a sh*t about its prices? An owner who doesn’t gouge his fans for every penny he can squeeze out of them? God bless you Bob McNair! And Arte Moreno in MLB with the Angels, whose first act as owner … was to slash beer prices in half. In not even remotely shocking news, the Angels have made the playoffs in 5 of Moreno’s 6 years as owner, this year being the sole outlier. Seriously, how do we get that here?!?!).
Only one of the four games has been even remotely competitive … in 2004. When the Texans rallied from down 14 in the second half to beat the Chiefs 27-24. Probably the only game that, if posted at KC Chiefs Games, I would never click on. Too many painful memories from that day. (For what it’s worth, the donkeys playoff loss in 1997 is up on this dude’s site. I’ve hovered over it about 10 times already … and I can’t bring myself to click on it. But eventually, I will. If only to toss something at the monitor when the final drive implodes. Like most folks on their 21st birthday, I went to bed completely intoxicated. Unlike most folks, I was intoxicated for ALL the wrong reasons … but that Texans game? Never. Never going to retwatch a second of it, unless I’m forced to by the CBS feed on Sunday).
Every other game has been at least a 17 point margin. So we’re due for a middle of the road, relatively comfortable two score game in this series.
Chiefs (+5) 30, at Texans 21. Bring on the Jaguars on a short week, fresh off a physical war against the Titans …
The loudest thing in my head.
And I ache to remember,
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said.
If I could walk on water,
If I could tell you what's next,
I'd make you believe,
I'd make you forget,
So come on get higher,
Loosen my lips,
Faith and desire,
In the swing of your hips,
Just pull me down hard,
And drown me in love ..."
-- "Come on Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson. I've heard Sugarland's version. It's decent. But it's not the original. The way Matt nails "I hear angels and devils and God when you COME ... on. HOLD ... on. Jennifer Nettles can't nail it like he does. The way he sings it just ... ooh. Just, ooh. Perfectly nails the moment. Without the Cialus bath tub. The original still rules.
And the reason for this song pick? Just keep reading until the completely uninspiring, rambling, "where the hell is this guy going with this ... oh, got it, ten paragraphs later" Chiefs prediction. It's a Steve "17 page printout" classic! Its an Old School Thursday! Or, at least a "we're 9 days away, start buying your tickets now!" Pimpin' Thursday! If, you know, I was old (shut up Dusty!), was in school, was a pimp, and this was posting on a Thursday ...
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Last Week SU: 7-7-0
Season to Date SU: 47-29-0
Last Week ATS: 8-6-0
Season to Date ATS: 39-35-2
Last Week Upset / Week: no bueno.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 2-3
This Week's Upset / Week: If I'm going down, I'm going down in flames with two of the three most irrational, "what the f*ck" lines of the week. Its a Two For Weekend! raiders (+6 1/2) over 49ers, and donkeys (+3) over Jets. How the raiders are a touchdown underdog to a winless team coached by a guy the players have quit on, is beyond me. And the Jets? Come on. You know under the "God Hates Steve" rule, that the two teams I live and die with are doomed to always lose in denver ...
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
(Yup, this is the week that swings the season. I love a TON of dogs this week. Either I look like a genius ... or the gambling idiot I've been for fifteen years and counting. There's a reason why I provide this column as a "public service" to the gambling community. Although to be fair, I think I'm better ... screw that, I KNOW I'm better than 95% of the blackjack community, and at least on par with 85% of the pai gow community ...)
* Chargers (-8) 49, at Rams 3.
* at Patriots 35, Ravens (+3) 34.
* at Bucs (+4) 20, Saints 17.
* Falcons (+2 1/2) 38, at Eagles 13.
* at Giants 30, Lions (+10 1/2) 20.
* at Bears (-6 1/2) 34, Seahawks 6.
* Dolphins 21 (NL / Pick), at Packers 20.
* at Steelers (-13 1/2) 51, Browns 3.
* at donkeys (+3) 31, Jets 26.
* raiders (+6 1/2) 27, at 49ers 3.
* Cowboys (+1 1/2) 28, at Vikings 20.
* at Redskins (+3) 20, Colts 13.
* at Jaguars (+3) 24, Titans 20.
The Chiefs Prediction:
(I apologize in advance: this is one of those classic Steve “what the hell is he talking about? This makes no sense … oh, twenty paragraphs later, he makes the point. Got it” commentaries. To be fair, I was long overdue for one of these bad boys. Also to be fair – I am typing this at 11:30 at night, after attending a very interesting fund raiser for a charitable organization that I not only completely endorse … I think, given my political leanings on every other social and most economic issues, most readers would be shocked to know I not only completely endorse, but financially support. (Which means I wasn't at a Hillary 2012 fund raiser. Although I'd happily attend and donate anytime, anywhere, anyplace.)
Well, ok, not every reader would be stunned -- some of you know I am not … whoops, saving that for another blog post later, to try to recruit someone, anyone, to help out a fantastic organization that actually, to steal a phrase from my former employer that sounds more stupid and ridiculous in hindsight than it did at the time they used it, an organization that actually “lives its values” …)
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There’s a fantastic website out there for Chiefs fans, www.kcchiefsgames.com, that I’ve been pulling up while I’ve been busy working this week. (Since the good folks at “Company Steve Works For” have blocked the ability to stream 980, 610, 810, and XM on our network now, I have to have something for background noise. I give it two weeks before this site is blocked. It took them about three weeks to figure out (probably thanks to my constant online streaming) that XM wasn’t blocked …)
Today, I don’t know why, but the second game I “watched” was the raiders defeat in the Y2K bowl. Watching it in hindsight made it even more painful than I remember, to be honest.
For example, I had totally forgotten that the Chiefs were up 14-0 before the offense even stepped on the field. I remembered Vanover’s punt return after the raiders first punt to put us up 7-0, that was still clear as a bell in my head. I’d totally forgotten that the next snap the raiders took … was a Pick Six to James Hasty.
One thing I hadn’t forgotten though, or at least remembered after watching this, was the noise level after Hasty took it to the house. That was another “Steve hits his seat and cries” moment, after re-seeing it. I watched this game sitting next to Jason in his seats in 109. (The pre “Steve Pederson of Tailgating” Years! That was a fun three year stretch after college, for sure. Sadly, I don’t even think we could schedule another “Restore the Tradition” tailgate at this point with “him” still in the picture. That’s … that’s tragic).
Anyways, I know I was crying. I mean, are you kidding me? A must-win, playoffs-on-the-line game against either your most hated or second most hated team (or co-most hated team, in a lot of cases), and five snaps in, you’re up 14-0? Holy cow! Of course I’m shedding tears faster than I shed the t-shirt on an 85 degree sunny day! (anyone who’s tailgated with me on said 85 degree sunny day voice) sweet Jesus, that’s Speedy Gonzalez fast!!!
There were moments in there on the raiders next series (another punt that led to a field goal for the Chiefs) where you couldn’t completely hear Ian Eagle and his craptacular partner actually call the game, it was so loud. I want that again, Chiefs fans. I want that stadium that loud next Sunday. It can happen, if y’all show up and do your part.
(dusty at bowling league last night voice, channeling his “color of money” bad self) Come on. Everybody’s doing it. Come on.
(Possibly the ultimate “you had to be there” moment of the year for me so far. We’ve somehow won game one against a better team, and I didn’t crack 100. For our team to win, we need (a) a crappy game from the opposition, (b) me to top 150, and (c) DJ to push 200. Oh, and Katie to at least push 100. None of us were close in game one other than Katie … and we still won comfortably, thanks to their 220 bowler failing to crack 150.
Infuriated, I storm out, and grab the Jets hat to wear, to at least have something to throw when I hit the “oh no! we suck again!’ moment. DJ, after last year’s “Steve taunts me after bad game / I throw bowling ball at his head in anger” moment that will live (in hindsight, in hilarious) infamy, takes a huge risk -- he sees how absolutely p*ssed off I am after posting our team’s first open in game two (in fairness, it was in the 3rd frame, I opened ok in game two) … and drops the Paul Newman phrases from that movie. “Come on. Everyone’s doing it (getting a mark). Come on, everyone’s doing it”. Brought this “house” down. I could not stop laughing. You gotta love the kid. I mean, how do you respond to that? The perfect phrase at the perfect time. I like to think I trained him well. That, or he caught lightning in a bottle and nailed it once in 2010. It can’t be the latter – this is the “shut up and no!” kid after all, and that doesn’t happen without me to make fun of …)
Oh, back to the Chiefs / raiders ramble. Your craptacular partner? Mark May. Steve Buerelein, I apologize sir. You are no longer the most clueless, inept, incompetent, “I want to meet you just to throw a beer bottle at you, you p*ss me off so much with your commentary” broadcaster to ever call a Chiefs game. Mark May has taken over first place on that list.
(Another craptacular moment? The last time a Chiefs team p*ssed away a gimme playoff berth at home? Granted, it was week four, but even then, you left the stadium knowing “oh crap, this is gonna bite us in the ass come December”. (And it did – we win this game, we get the 6th seed in the AFC, which only gave you … the Super Bowl champs that year, the Steelers. God bless it). That game? The Eagles game in 2005. The Chiefs led 17-0 after a quarter (and 23-7 two possessions later). Just like this game, we rolled early, choked in the middle, and couldn’t rally late. Note to self: if the Chiefs ever get up 17-0 in a do-or-die game again, immediately begin to panic).
As awful as May was though (not even the always rock solid, and highly underrated, Ian Eagle could save this disaster), he kept stressing something that Jon Gruden told them in the production meeting, and it really struck a chord with me.
“Jon Gruden said this is a must win game for his team. They must finish 8-8. Because in order to move up, in order to take the next step, you have to beat the teams that are better than you, especially in your division”.
Words to that effect, over and over and over again as the Chiefs blew the lead … and then the second half was a thrilling back-and-forth, 2003 Colts playoff game type affair where the last team with the ball, would win.
(It’s an amazing last minute. Rich Gannon converts the 5th and 19 … excuse me, 4th and 19 that everyone missed. And yes, I purposely rewound it. Your referee, of “Tuck Rule” infamy two January’s later, Walt Coleman called the personal foul was after the play was completed on 2nd down … yet the raiders came out afterwards in 2nd and 16 (2 yard run to 2 minute warning), then 3rd and 14 (incomplete), then 4th and 14 (incomplete), then a delay of game, making it 5th and 19. But I digress. Gannon drilled a 21 yard pass to tim brown. The raiders tied it on a Joe Nedney 38 yarder with 30 seconds left. 28 seconds later, the Chiefs were trying a 44 yarder to win that just missed left. Really cool last minute of action, really cool. As much as I hate the 5th down … come on, we gave up a 21 yard pass to their best receiver on (down questionable) and 19. That’s on us far more than the ref.)
(Another cool moment: :06 left, and it’s in a booth review. Joe Horn has made a catch to get the Chiefs to the raiders 27. It’s ruled a catch. Only, it wasn’t a catch. Horn clearly didn’t maintain possession. Referee Walt Coleman announces the pass was incomplete. Because Horn had stayed in bounds, however, the clock had kept moving until the booth stepped in within a couple seconds to review it, it was that blatant a bad call. Chiefs didn’t even have time to call their last timeout, the booth stepped in so quickly.
And the crowd gets what the refs missed. As Ian Eagle is in the booth questioning why the refs didn’t put more time on the clock (since the clock should have stopped at the incompletion), 75,000 plus are audibly screaming “Fix The Clock! Fix The Clock! Fix The Clock!”, and the chant started within about 10 seconds of Coleman’s ruling. Don’t tell me Chiefs fans aren’t the most knowledgeable fans on the planet. Eagle even acknowledges the chant while he’s asking why the clock hasn’t been adjusted. Coleman panics … and puts :02 back on the clock, taking it to :08. Plenty of time to run the same freaking play, to the same freaking receiver, only this time he gets out of bounds instead of falling and losing the ball, setting up the final field goal attempt. That moment gave me a Chris Matthews tingle-in-the-leg feeling, that a fanbase, with so much on the line at that moment, instantaneously recognized an officiating gaffe. Not two plays later recognition, immediate recognition. I mention it, because the only other time I’ve ever seen someone in that stadium so acutely aware of clock management? Was mike shanarat in the 2005 donkeys game, immediately after “The Stand”. He bought his team a free timeout by noticing “hey, if our guy was stopped short on 4th down with 2:07 to play, why is the clock now reading 2:00”. Just saying. shanarat’s smart … but we got him beat.)
Anyways, May keeps noting that Gruden, his team 7-8, a non-factor for the playoffs, viewed it as a must-win game. Because he wanted to drill into his team that if they could win this game, they could beat anybody.
The rest, of course, is history. Gruden would lead the raiders to the next two AFC West championships, losing in the AFC Title Game to the eventual champion Ravens in 2000, and losing a gut-wrencher in The Tuck Rule Game to the eventual champion Patriots in 2001. Bill Callahan picked up where Gruden left off, winning the 2002 AFC West championship, and winning the AFC, before losing to Gruden’s Bucs in the Super Bowl. The game here to close the 1999 season, was the springboard for a helluva 3 year run for those guys.
I mention this, for three reasons.
1. I could not agree more with Coach Gruden. To be the best, you have to beat the best, especially the best in your division, no matter where you play them at.
2. To be the best, you have to beat the teams that are at least as good as you are, no matter where you play them at.
3. The 2010 Chiefs have already done (1). Sunday, they get another chance to do (2).
Remember how these guys closed 2009? After losing three straight home games, two of them one-score outcomes we lost as favorites (ugh), the Chiefs hit the road to face the AFC North champion Bengals, and another team unquestionably better than we were, within our own division – the denver broncos. A game that they had to win to stay alive for postseason consideration.
The Chiefs played well at Cincinnati, losing by 3. They took the field at denver a 3-12 also ran that hadn’t beaten anyone of note, unless you count a .500 Steelers team at home in a fluky upset fueled by turnovers and crappy Steelers special teams “of note”. And for the record, I don’t.
They had nothing to play for in denver. The donkeys had everything to play for. Just like the Chiefs and the raiders in the Y2K Bowl.
Chiefs 44, donkeys 20. Jamaal Charles sets a franchise record with 259 yards rushing. DJ returns two interceptions for touchdowns. The Chiefs absolutely took the donkeys, a superior team within the division for at least five of the last six years (the one year I give KC, 2006, is a coin flip, since both finished 9-7 and 1-1 against each other), and took them to the woodshed.
Remember how these guys opened 2010? Facing the defending AFC West Champion Chargers. A team we’d lost 5 straight to, all in embarrassing, most in blowout fashion. A team that had the AFC’s best record last year at 13-3. A team that had won the AFC West 5 of the last 6 years, hadn’t finished below .500 since 2003, has three playoff wins in the last three years, and was (is?) the unquestioned King of the Hill of the division. And we took it to them. Ran it on them all night. Built a lead. Never gave it up. And when push came to shove, we found out what this defense was made of, stopping first and goal. Stuffing second and goal. Rattling Phyllis Rivers on 3rd and goal. And humiliating him on 4th and goal. Four shots against the 31st ranked defense last year, from 6 yards out, and Rivers and his team failed. The Chiefs succeeded.
Point 1 – to be the best, you have to beat the best, especially the best in your division. No matter where you play them. We’ve done that.
Point 2? Sunday, we get a second crack at it.
The Chiefs played well last Sunday. They certainly played well enough to win. Two crucial brain farts (the 4th and 2 decision, D Bowe’s dropped touchdown) killed us. And yet still, realize this – as frustrating as D Bowe’s drop was (and I believe I dropped the “God F*cking Dammit!” blast about 55 times while tossing the stress towel against the chair at DJ and Kellie’s, so yeah, it was “frustrating”, to say the least), as frustrating as that was, WHY was it frustrating?
(Because the Chiefs had the ball, with a shot to take the lead, at Indianapolis, in the 4th quarter).
This wasn’t some drop down 30-7 in a game everyone not named “Steve” or “Gregg” has tuned off. This was a drop in a 9-6 game (that should have been 9-9, ugh, not taking the points still pisses me off, and its been five days. I need to let it go. In time, I guess I will …), a drop in a 9-6 game that we not only had a shot to win … we had a very REALISTIC shot to win. This wasn’t some fluky “what the hell is happening here?!?!” game against Indy, like the 2007 defeat (we lost 13-10 on a field goal as time expired). This wasn’t a “the Colts clearly don’t take us seriously, and they’re just going through the motions” game like that one was.
This was a “holy crap! These guys are hammering peyton manning! These guys are moving the ball! The Brandon Brothers can cover! This team … might be … (gulp) … could be … (hyperventilating) … worth hopping on the bandwagon for!” game.
www.arrowheadpride.com, another multiple-times-a-day visit site for me, has an awesome editor (Joel Thurman) who is a huge stats guy, just like me. (So be warned – if you aren’t a big “Inside the Numbers” person, you’ll probably skip half the stuff he posts. But if you’re a stats geek like me, or just ever wondered “how did Steve know what they were gonna do before they were gonna do it”? Check out his site. The trending, the stats, the “when they face 3rd and whatever, they do this 93% of the time this season” facts are all there for your perusal).
He allowed a guest editor to post this week to post a column on the 2010 Chiefs so far, and how they project. And he has a fascinating article, comparing the 2010 Chiefs … to the last time a Pioli team entered year two of the “rebuild” phase. The 2001 New England Patriots. In case you don’t feel like reading it, here’s the gist of it:
1. As bad as most Chiefs fans think Cassel has been … he’s perfectly on line via projections to match Tom Brady’s 2001 numbers. Oh, and the Chiefs have a complete reversal of the 2001 Pats record after four games – they were 1-3. We’re 3-1.
2. As bad as most Chiefs fans think Bowe has been … he’s perfectly on line via projections to match the Patriots 2nd WR numbers. (The only sucky thing? We don’t have a Troy Brown … yet. I still think Chris Chambers will be heard from before this season is said and done).
But most awesome of all …
3. Both true statistics after four games … and full season projection wise … the 2010 Chiefs defense projects BETTER than the 2001 Patriots defense.
Which was 5th against the run, 1st against the pass, 3rd in scoring … and oh yeah, completely befuddled Mike Martz and the “Greatest Show on Turf” when it counted the most.
(Another neat stat – the Texans offense took 13 snaps in the first quarter last Sunday. They trailed 21-0 after that quarter. Of their 13 plays, 9 were considered “negative” – meaning loss of more than 4.6 yards (the average play in a game gains 4.6 yards), turnover, or sack. The Chiefs, through 4 games, have 17 negative plays total.)
What do I think is going to happen on Sunday? I think, as mentioned earlier this week, the Chiefs are going to open up the playbook. I think you’re finally going to get a Chris Chambers sighting (or two) this week. I think the Chiefs are going to bait Brian Cushing into rushing the passer, opening the middle of the field for Moeaki and Chambers (and Charles out of the backfield on the delayed screen / delayed middle route). I think you’re going to see the most aggressive, down the field, vertically-oriented playcalling the Chiefs have done since Al Saunders was calling the shots in the booth.
(Another neat stat – the Chiefs have 9 sacks this year, which puts them squarely in the middle of the pack, tied for 18th. The NFL leaders have 18, but all except 4 teams have 12 or fewer. Why is this neat? Because 8 of the 9 sacks, occurred on a four man rush. 8 of the 9 were generated when our defensive line and Tamba Hali or DJ were the only four guys rushing the passer. That’s awesome. If your front four (or in our case, front three and Hali or DJ, whichever one isn’t covering the TE / RB safety valve) is generating a pass rush that knocks the passer down with the ball twice a game? You don’t have to blitz. You can then afford to let the Brandon Brothers play man on the corners, let Eric Berry and Jon McGraw play the cover two, and your two linebackers can react to the QB attempting to scramble, cover the third receiver, hell they can pick their nose at that point, you’ve effectively shut down the opposition’s vertical attack. Case in point – the INT the Chiefs had on Manning, was directly because of this exact stat. We only rushed four, they couldn’t block Hali outside or Dorsey inside. Manning had to step up and away, and throw off his front foot, never a good thing. Where cover 2 safety support Jon McGraw had the perfect read, could wait on the throw, and picked it off. Just like the Saints LB in the Super Bowl last year with his Pick Six that sealed the Saints win, the exact same thing happened. If your front four generates a rush on its own, you don’t have to blitz. And if you don’t have to blitz, you can drop up to eight into coverage, to cover at most 5 guys, usually four if your front rush is working that well. To quote the great Homer J. Simpson: “I like those odds!”
As great as Gunther’s defenses were in the 1990s … what made them great was the front four. His first couple years, you had Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Pellum McDaniels, and DT rushing the passer. The later years, you had Dan Williams, Chester McGlockton, Eric Hicks, and DT. If you’ve got two decent corners (Hasty and Carter) and a safety worth a damn (Collins) to go with it, you’re set. To say nothing of having 59 as your middle valve. You can beat anybody with those guys on the field. Anybody. The reason Gun’s second tour of duty failed wasn’t the secondary – I’d go to play with Law, Warfield and Surtain any day against any team, especially with Jerome Woods, Scott Fujita, (eventually, again) Donnie Edwards and the underrated Kawika Mitchell providing the cover two support, it failed because our front four sucked. Nobody other than John Browning for a couple years, and Leslie O’Neal for a game, was worth a damn.)
So, the latest long winded point is this – for the first time since 1999, we’ve got a defense that can beat anybody. The Texans offense is good. But they’re stoppable. If the Chiefs front four can generate the rush they did against Indy, the pressure they’ve put on every opponent so far save San Diego (the secondary won that game for us; Rivers had plenty of time to throw, he just couldn’t find an open receiver save for Gates’ bomb to end the 3rd quarter), it not only will at least slow down the passing game, it will throttle the run. (Like we did for 55 minutes against the Colts. The last drive? My guess is, they were exhausted. The Chiefs were on the field for 6 plays for the first 11 minutes of the quarter. They were gassed. That’s why Mike Hart found the holes he did to put Indy up 10.)
Gary Kubiak admitted this week he abandoned the run last week, in the 2nd quarter, down 21-0. You can ask “why”, as I did – any decent offense can usually make a game of it if you’re down 21 with 45 minutes to go, as long as you stick to the script and what works for you. I would also ask “why not” though, as in “why not put them in this position again”?
I envision a sneaky blitz on an early 3rd down out of the Chiefs, because you’ve got nothing to lose that early on. Its why I loved the onside kick last week so much. Who cares if Indy has a short field to open the game? It’s the first drive of the game! The Chiefs have scored first in one of their four games so far. We have yet to score on our first possession. Has that crippled our ability to win? Take risks in the first quarter, as long as they’re calculated, reasonable games. (Giving up gimme points on a 4th and 2 at the 6 is not a “reasonable, calculated gamble”. That’s “mentally retarded”).
I truly believe the front four can generate the rush on Schaub that we need – because we’re gonna need McGraw, Berry, and Lewis in the cover two / three a lot of the afternoon. This is a damned good offensive team. We’ve got to have the front four generate the pressure, and either DJ/Hali (whoever doesn’t rush) and Williams or Belcher stop Foster for minimal gains. A gain of two up the middle? Not a bad defensive play. Mike Hart juking, weaving, through about 5 defenders 16 yards for a touchdown? That’s not a good defensive play.
Special teams wise, just keep on keeping on. Ryan Succup is turning into the best kicker we’ve had since Pete Stoyanovich prior to that oakland game described in the opening. Dusty C, I love the guy. He’s my favorite punter we’ve had since One-Ball Louie. And not just because of the constant “Dusty C higher than …” jokes after his punts that crack me up for some reason.
Dex and Arenas give us a one-two punch I’m not sure we’ve really ever had. (We tried it in 2006, with Dante Hall running on fumes and “F*ck” Ed Drummond. I still hate that guy). Just continue to average 40 yards a punt, not outkick your coverage. (As Ryan Lefebvre would note: if you’re going to outpunt your coverage, make sure you do it in picking your significant other. That’s when you not only want to outpunt your coverage, you want to punt that sucker so far beyond the coverage units that she’s too awestruck to see your flaws. I obviously haven’t found that chica yet. Anyways.)
Continue having teams start drives inside their 30 after kickoffs. Continue the penalty free returns. Keep holding onto the ball. Keep consistently making everything inside of 40, and regularly make everything inside of 50. (Outside of 50 is a total crapshoot, even if the roof is closed on Sunday as it likely will be. Be fair here).
At the end of the day … I envision a breakthrough. These guys can do it. No less a football expert than Peter King of Sports Illustrated has pegged the Chiefs to win this week. Both the Sports Guy and Cousin Sal could not figure out the line; it made “no sense” to Sal (who is dominating with his picks so far ATS, you can check him out at ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live site).
I believe in this team. I love the fact that on Tuesday, 12 days before the Jaguars game, the Chiefs began selling standing room only tickets. The only way a NFL team can sell SRO tickets? Is if they’ve already met the league definition of a sellout. This town is buying into these guys. Hopefully, you are too.
These teams have played four times when it counts, three at Reliant (which, and I am being dead serious here, is without question THE nicest NFL stadium I have ever stepped foot into. And I’ve been to my fair share of NFL facilities. They have awesome fans, a kick ass tailgating atmosphere that will remind you of Arrowhead 5 years ago, and the stadium itself is beyond state-of-the-art. And did I mention, at least 3 years ago when I was there … they had $4 draws? $4 draws! What the hell?!?! A team that actually gives a sh*t about its prices? An owner who doesn’t gouge his fans for every penny he can squeeze out of them? God bless you Bob McNair! And Arte Moreno in MLB with the Angels, whose first act as owner … was to slash beer prices in half. In not even remotely shocking news, the Angels have made the playoffs in 5 of Moreno’s 6 years as owner, this year being the sole outlier. Seriously, how do we get that here?!?!).
Only one of the four games has been even remotely competitive … in 2004. When the Texans rallied from down 14 in the second half to beat the Chiefs 27-24. Probably the only game that, if posted at KC Chiefs Games, I would never click on. Too many painful memories from that day. (For what it’s worth, the donkeys playoff loss in 1997 is up on this dude’s site. I’ve hovered over it about 10 times already … and I can’t bring myself to click on it. But eventually, I will. If only to toss something at the monitor when the final drive implodes. Like most folks on their 21st birthday, I went to bed completely intoxicated. Unlike most folks, I was intoxicated for ALL the wrong reasons … but that Texans game? Never. Never going to retwatch a second of it, unless I’m forced to by the CBS feed on Sunday).
Every other game has been at least a 17 point margin. So we’re due for a middle of the road, relatively comfortable two score game in this series.
Chiefs (+5) 30, at Texans 21. Bring on the Jaguars on a short week, fresh off a physical war against the Titans …
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