Monday, October 25, 2010

chiefs! jaguars! where "i love beer" boxers happens ...

10:30ish, pregame tailgating:

(katie) aw there he is! Finally!
(castro) (wanders in)
(castro) hey! Want a shot? (holds up his half empty tequila bottle)
(katie) yup!
(mona) sure!
(steve) uuh, no thanks.
(castro) (pouring shots) This is my third bottle today!
(steve) (shaking head in laughing admiration) sweet Jesus!
(tailgaters) (do shots)
(steve) we need a new song.
(steve) (heads over to stereo)
(steve) (changes cd)
(steve) I think I picked a winner ...

(cue the music)

"She said I'm going out with my girlfriends,
For margaritas at the Holiday Inn.
Lord have mercy! My only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off ..."

--------------------------

Five years ago, a movie came out that should have completely and totally had me in the theater on opening afternoon. An uplifiting, inspirational true-life story about a 30 year old walk-on for the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1970s. An average dude, with not much going for him -- his wife had just left him, he was unemployed in the midst of an economic crisis, all he had was his buddies at the bar, his Eagles, and his dad.

That movie, of course, is "Invincible", and it really is every bit as great as I thought it would be. Only, for three plus years, I refused to watch it. Because, and this is Steve logic at its finest, I refused to watch it because "It'll put Coach Vermeil in a positive light".

So, after boycotting this thing because I refused to even contemplate the idea that Dick Vermeil might not be so bad after all, I was sitting on the old couch one evening, no doubt after a few adult beverages, and noticed "Invincible" was playing on one of the Encore channels. After scanning the programming guide and not seeing one other thing on worth watching, I figured "why not", and decided to give it a try.

And absolutely loved it. Loved it so much, I drove to Target afterwards and bought the dvd.

But my favorite scene? Easy. There's a running plot line in the movie (and if you haven't seen it, screw the "spoiler alert" standards. This thing has been in release for five years. I'm not spoiling a thing here), there's a running plot line that the greatest moment in Vince's dad's life, was Norm Van Brocklin's touchdown in 1948, to give the Eagles the NFL
championship. (Their only NFL Championship). There's even a scene on his dad's front porch, where he notes to Vince "that touchdown got me through 30 years at the factory, through your mom being sick and dying, through the
strikes, through everything bad that happened".

Needless to say, it's a big moment that had a big impact on that guy's life.

So as the movie goes along, Vince makes the team. After conning his buddy into picking him up after practice (another great scene in a movie loaded with them), they head off to the bar. Vince walks in, the news had already arrived that he made it, he's an Eagle. The place is packed. Everybody starts cheering, clapping, applauding, giving him congratulations. All deserved, of course. I mean, come on, a 30 year old nobody from South Philly has just made it to the National Football League. And finally, his dad arrives. The guy's a ... he's a grizzled veteran, I'll put it that way. A grizzled veteran. He looks exactly like what a 50ish dude in South Philly should look like. He's not emotional, to put it mildly.

He sees his son, walks up, hugs him ... and with tears in his eyes, says the greatest compliment he can give his kid.

"Normie Van Brocklin's got nothing on you kid".

I open with "Invincible" today for three reasons.

(1) The 1995 Chiefs, my favorite Chiefs team of all time, might have nothing on these guys by the time this season is through.
(2) Sometimes, the things you love the most in life, come into your life when you least expect it. Oh, and
(3) as I texted Damien yesterday, "I love being wrong".

The 2010 Chiefs are better than even I thought they could be. And I'm the crazy guy who picked them to comfortably win the division back in September. People, this team is NOT a fluke. This is a legitimate threat in the AFC. Not just the division -- the conference. These guys are for real. I'm absolutely and completely in love with these guys. I'm not just piloting the bandwagon at this point out of duty like over the past couple seasons -- I'm begging, pleading, threatening, whatever it takes, to get folks to climb on board. There's no reason to not believe folks. None. There's not one legitimate reason other than kid duty and/or economic destitution to avoid coming out to Arrowhead next Sunday, and every home game going forward.

This is a damned good football team that is only going to get better. Yes, you read that correctly. This team has not only not even begun to show their peak potential, this is the low point. Right now, this is the worst the Chiefs are going to be for at least the next three, four, five years. We won't be worse at any point in the next few years, than we are right now. Doesn't that at least put a smile on your face? You're seeing rock bottom for the foreseeable future. And rock bottom is a 42-20 ass kicking of a decent Jaguars squad!

And as for point three? "I love being wrong"?

There's a man in the Chiefs organization, a pretty powerful and influencial dude, who I affectionaly have dubbed "Coach Asshat". Our head coach, Todd Haley.

Todd ... God bless it, man. I love being wrong!

I'll get into the exact moment Todd Haley went from "Coach Asshat" to "Steve hasn't had a mancrush this ridiculous since his insane infatuation with Jon Scheyer" status, as well as hit the highlights of a day the Chiefs might have all but wrapped up the division, in the recap below ...

* Arrived at the stadium at about 7am. I think it was 6:58 if I remember right. And we weren't even close to being the first in line. We actually were 3 back of the gate. I think Chiefs fans are starting to figure out that it's ok to hop back on the bandwagon ...

* Carl extended his "winning streak" with the parking attendants to about 135. Gotta love the guy.

* Had no issues with getting the bus parked this week. The parking nazis are starting to lighten up, finally. Although the ridiculous orange cones were still everywhere. Someone noted that "this is more retarded than the tape", and I have to agree with them. At least the tape gave you some direction on where they wanted you to go. The cones are just annoying.

* The menu yesterday was breakfast. Really solid biscuits and gravy, some sausages, scrambled eggs. Topped off by some bloody mary's, screwdrivers, and beer mosas.

* My only complaint was the weather. Really, weather gods? We can't have one home game where its nice, sunny, and pleasant from arrival to departure? Is that asking too much? The Chiefs haven't played a home game that I would define as "ideal weather conditions" from arrival to departure since we kicked denver to the curb in 2008. One home game in the high 70s with the sun shining from 6am to 5pm. That's all I'm asking. Just one.

* Apple pie shots! Courtesy of our tailgating neighbors in the white bus. Holy cow, that's good stuff.

* Speaking of good stuff ... the chocolate alcohol-fueled whipped cream bottle. Funniest moment was when the grandma at the bus next door started taking shots of it. I didn't want any part of it -- for starters, I'm probably the only person alive that doesn't like chocolate. That, and I didn't want to get on my knees and have something sprayed into my mouth. But I promised if the Chiefs won, I'd take a shot. I live up to my bets. Best shot of the day, by far. As I noted, "If this is all it takes to get the Chiefs to win, I'll buy the f*cking bottle myself".

* Pretty small, tame group yesterday. Tyler wasn't there, he had prior obligations. But the other six core riders were there, plus a few folks that Will brought along.

* Another funny moment? When Katie realized that "I'm not the youngest person here!" A couple of the folks Will brought were only 21. Dear God, "only" 21. When I turned 21, nobody had even heard of Monica Lewinsky yet. Oy.

* Had a fun conversation with one of them, not Jared, not the chick, but the 21 year old dude with the beard who came. I'd be lying if I said I remembered his name, so in the long-standing tradition established by my buddy Gregg, I'm gonna call him "Phil".

"Phil" was noting that he couldn't remember the last time the Chiefs were good. I thought "holy crap, this guy is so young, the 90s mean nothing to him!" I also replied, "you think that's rough? The last time the Chiefs won a playoff game, I was in high school. And I'll be 34 before this season ends!" The guy just stared at me with a "wow, you're that old?!?!" look. Oy. Yes, yes I am that old. I've literally lived half of my life since the Chiefs last won a playoff game. "Lord have mercy, my only thought ..." was that I should have hit Castro's tequila bottle.

* I'm telling you, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" is just golden. It's like "Friends in Low Places" or "Margaritaville" or "Sweet Caroline" or "It's Beer Thirty, and I'm Beer Thirsty", it just inspires everyone to sing along. I think that's the new tailgating cd I'll burn for the Buffalo game (since we need a new one), awesome sing-along classics. I might even put a song by "Steve's Most Hated Band Ever" on there. You know I'm in a good mood when I actually consider purchasing a song on iTunes by the Black Eyed Peas ...

* The walk into the stadium, we encountered the Springfield chick and her husband who sit two rows in front of us. She was already obliterated, and it wasn't even noon yet. We'll come back to this in a little bit.

* Just like Carl has his "winning streak" with the parking attendants, my "winning streak" with the flask getting through security is still intact. It's getting to be Harlem Globetrotter-esque, in that security has yet to defeat me, despite years of trying.

* After a good conversation with Gregg and Gordon on the walk down to my seat, I finally arrive, and it's an emotional moment, as I give Chris a big hug. Chiefs Nation, keep keeping Greg (her husband) in your thoughts and prayers. He's got a long, long road to recovery, and every little good-will thought helps.

* The National Anthem. Uuh, not bad. Not too shabby. Although I'd never heard of the "national recording artist" they brought in to perform it. Sunny something, some country band. It must not take much to become a "national recording artist", I guess. That, or I need to expand my listening horizon beyond Ben Harper, Dave Matthews, and late 70s stuff.

* Missed KC Wolf's sketch. I doubt I missed anything worth seeing.

* Did get really excited though, walking down the aisle. There, in the east end zone? What should have been there for the Chargers game. Could not stop grinning when I saw the block letter C, H, I, E, F, and S. All filled up with balloons. I freely admit, "Steve Logic" makes zero sense. Example -- I hate flyovers with a passion. They're the single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind. I've even booed a few flyovers, and man, that gets you some dirty looks, let me tell you. You'd think we lived in two of the reddest of red states in the nation, and I was a liberal Democrat, given some of the looks I get if I don't openly cheer for a military flyover. (On second though ... all of that last sentence is true, so what do I know).

On the other hand though -- I love balloon launches. Don't know why, I just do. The launch at Indy as Jim Nabors "dreams about the moonlight on the Wabash" is my favorite moment of that race every year. Even more so than the race itself, even more than Florence Henderson's awe-inspiring rendition of "God Bless America", even more than the insane all-night party that consumes all of Speedway, Indiana the night before (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: anytime you're at a place where you can sit on the curb, drinking from an open container, enjoying a tobacco-like product that hopefully will be legalized in California in eight days, and the cops walk by and don't do a thing? That's a cool place to be).

This balloon launch didn't disappoint. Loved seeing the pink balloons flying up into the air as the Chiefs ran out of the tunnel. Awesome moment. If they want to make the balloon launch a weekly thing, I'd be thrilled.

* Another cool moment -- the coin toss. Your honorary Chiefs captain was a six year old kid battling brain cancer. I'm guessing he hasn't had many good moments in his life up to this point, and I fear he doesn't have a whole lot of time left to make some good moments in his life. When the camera panned to the kid as KC Wolf walked him out there though, he had the biggest smile you could imagine. I actually teared up a little bit. That was cool.

* Brad Meester, the Jags center, his entire family and then some was sitting on my left. They took up a huge chunk of four freaking rows. That's representing.

* Gotta give Jags starting quarterback Todd Bouman a lot of credit. (Apparently his wife and kids were sitting five rows in front of Gregg, and yeah, Todd definitely punted well beyond his coverage with her). The crowd was into it from the opening kickoff yesterday, and despite his offensive line being unable to pass block competently, despite having no ground game to support him, Bouman made plays, he kept his team in the game. I was impressed. For a dude who just signed on Monday and hadn't made a start in the league in five years, he played really well.

* Fortunately, our quarterback played even better. There was not one moment on Sunday when I thought "what the hell is Cassel doing"? Again, go back to my opening point in this ramble, and the same is true for Cassel, what is true for this team. Right now, this is rock bottom. This is as bad as Matt Cassel is ever going to be for the very foreseeable future. Call me crazy, but I can live with this.

* My only real complaint Chiefs related yesterday, is that once again, clock management is an issue. I have no idea why we wasted three timeouts yesterday. (Going back to last week, I still have no idea why we didn't call timeout when the Texans had goal-to-go to save 40 seconds on the clock). This could be a problem at some point this season. You can waste one timeout in the half and still be ok, because of the two minute warning. But none of the three timeouts yesterday that Haley called made an ounce of sense. Gotta clean that up guys. That, or I'm pretty sure Mike White
isn't doing anything, make a call and bring him back to oversee these things.

* Thomas Jones! 70 yard run! And ... tackled at the four. The touchdown scored two plays later by Jamaal Charles. And that, in a nutshell, is why my fantasy team is 1-5.

* The first 4th down decision. It's Jags 10, Chiefs 7. Chiefs have 4th and 1 at the Jags 2 at the two minute warning. The Chiefs choose not to take the points, and decide to go for it.

I was completely fine with that decision. I know I'm the guy who notes that "you always take the point early. If you don't, it will always bite you in the ass". But in that case, the Chiefs had two outs, which is why going for it was the right decision. One of course is if you score the touchdown. The other out? You can still get a first down without scoring.

Which is exactly what happened. They got the first, but not the six points. However, the very next play, the Chiefs scored to take the lead, a lead they'd never relinquish despite the official's best efforts.

* OK, let's deal with the shady officiating. I say "shady", in that neither pass interference call was even close to legitimate.

Let's start with the second one, because the first one, I believe, changed the course of the game, and caused a dramatic Joey Lawrence Memorial "Whoa!" moment in my view towards an employee of this team.

That, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell we did to draw the flag on the second call.

Chiefs 21, Jags 13. Not even a minute into the 3rd quarter. The Chiefs took the opening kick and scored on two plays -- a TJ run for seven, then a great D Bowe catch and breaking-tackle-after-tackle run after the catch for the touchdown. Arrowhead is rocking. It's insane loud in there. Its 2nd and 12 at the Jags 40. There's only two plays to consider calling there that make sense -- either a delayed draw to Jones-Drew up the middle, or air it out. The Jags air it out, Bouman throwing it down the right sideline. The Jags receiver pushes off on Eric Berry. He literally shoves Berry out of the way. The fans as one start screaming for a flag. If you were to look up on Wikipedia what the definition of offensive pass interference is, they'd have a link to this play as the visual evidence of what it is. The flag comes out. The fans start cheering.

Jerome Boger takes the mic. "Pass interference. Defen --" And the boos start reigning down.

The Sports Guy noted on Twitter how ridiculous this call was, for crying out loud.

The Jags score, they're in business, now 21-20 after a couple more plays. What was cool though, was that after every play, the boos rang out. Loudly. Earl Hebner and Tim Donaghy jokes were being cracked, that's how awful the officiating was. I even dropped the "what, is this KU / Texas from 2004 all over again? Is the league that desperate to keep us out of the playoffs?" blast.

Fortunately, this play didn't kill us. But it could have. And it was atrociously officiated.

* The first defensive pass interference, look it, I thought it was horsesh*t. I dropped the "god f*cking dammit" blast that I reserve for only my most p*ssed off of moments. I was furious. It gave the Jags a 1st and goal at the 1, with less than 20 seconds left in the half. I could already see how this was going to unfold, because let's face it, we've all been witnesses to some pretty crappy football the last few years. We've seen this before. Chiefs putting up a fight, have a horsesh*t call go against them, and then collapse, while the coaching staff either (a) shows no emotion, or (b) compounds the mistake by overreacting to the call.

After the call, I looked to the Chiefs sideline. Haley was there, it was obvious he was p*ssed just by looking at his face. "Here we go", I thought.

Only ... his next reaction was entirely not what I expected.

He ran onto the field a little bit ... and started clapping his hands, screaming "come on guys! Hold them!" to the defense. He even used a couple forward fist pumps to encourage the guys.

And in section 132, row 26, seat 14, this still hot-as-hell 33 year old got chills.

Coach Asshat no more.

For the first time in a long, long, long, long time, a Chiefs head coach didn't lose himself in the moment. Sure, Haley was seething with rage. (So was I. Again, it's not possible to express in words how p*ssed off I was). And Haley let the official have it ... at the end of the half.

But at that moment, with his defense on the ropes, having just suffered a horrible blow thanks to horrendous officiating, Todd Haley did what a good coach should do.

He rose above the emotion of the moment.

The Chiefs, of course, held, stopping the Jags three straight plays from the one, and forcing the Jags to kick a field goal to close out the half.

Would the Chiefs have held if Haley didn't do anything, just rolled with the punches, like Herm Edwards used to do? I doubt it. Would the Chiefs have held if Haley over-reacted to the screw job, like he did so many times last year? I highly doubt it.

This year? That, to me, is the defining moment of the season so far. More so than the 4th and 1 at Cleveland, the 4th and goal stand against the Chargers, or the D Bowe drop in Indy.

Our head coach, imploring his defense to hold. Bucking them up, if you will. No blame, no screaming, no profanity. (Wait, it's Todd Haley. Scratch that "no profanity" part). Just a coach encouraging his guys to do their job. Which they did.

I love being wrong.

* The DJ pick six. Could not have happened at a better time. Again, this was a situation the last three, four years, where the Chiefs collapse. They've just been hit with the second horsesh*t pass interference call of the game, this time the Jags capitalize on it. We then punted the following possession. Again, the last three, four years, this is where the Jags bust a 60 yard touchdown run, or nail some deep bomb, or get a third horsesh*t call in their favor, and the fans start streaming for the exits because we know what's coming.

This year? This season? In that spot? It just felt different. The loudest Arrowhead got on Sunday was on the first down of that drive, I thought. There was just a sense in the stands of "screw the officials, screw the Jags, we're not letting these guys lose". First down, the Jags run it safely up the middle. Second down, touchdown Chiefs defense, DJ
read the route perfectly, broke on it, and took it to the house. From that moment on, there was no doubt the Chiefs were winning. None.

And for those of you like "Phil", who don't remember or don't know what Arrowhead was, THAT'S what it used to be like. The Chiefs, on the ropes. The crowd rising to its feet, making more noise than humans should make. And the defense riding the wave of emotion and forcing a huge game-changing play, be it a turnover, a sack, or in this case, a touchdown.

These guys are legit. This is not a fluke. If you don't take my word for it, come witness it in person on Sunday. You'll leave a believer, I promise you. This isn't the last gasp of a veteran team about to fall apart (like 2006). This isn't being done with smoke, mirrors, and fluky play after fluky play (2003). This is a team just beginning to tap its potential. There's nowhere to go but up. And that's definitely where this team is headed. Get in on the ground floor guys, and enjoy the ride to the top. You'll be glad you did.

* The 4th and 3. I know a lot of Chiefs fans were irate over Coach Haley going for it. (To recap the situation, its Chiefs 28, Jags 20, early 4th quarter. Chiefs have a 4th and 3 at the Jags 24.)

I have ripped Coach Haley for his fourth down decision making on multiple times this year, most notably the decision at Indy to not take the points on the opening drive.

But in this spot, even as my text message inbox was blowing up with such witty classics as "what the f*ck is he doing", "we're not really doing this right", and "holy sh*t this is stupid", I just nodded in agreement with what the decision was.

Yes, the play call was awful. (A Charles run that went nowhere. Why you'd run it on 4th and 3 is beyond my limited alcohol-impaired ability to reason). But Haley had no choice. As I texted back to folks who were angry, "trust me, the wind is horrible. No way Succup makes it. No way".

I understand that the announcers made no mention of the wind influencing this decision, until as noted by Damien, "5 minutes later, they finally say wind is an issue. Thanks guys". The left upright flag on that play, was blowing straight right. The right upright flag, was blowing straight left. The wind had no rhyme, reason, or direction yesterday. They talk about a "swirling wind", and that's exactly what we had.

Any kick over 30 yards was a total crapshoot. Haley was absolutely right to go for it. You can't punt from the opponent's 24 yard line. The odds are, you get a net gain of 4 as the punt flies well past the end zone and up into the club level. The field goal had, at best, a 10% chance of success. And if you miss, as 90% of the time you're going to in those conditions, the Jags get 8 free yards, because the ball goes to the spot of the kick, not the line of scrimmage. Going for it was the least evil outcome. If you don't get it, fine. The Jags are still backed up, still have to go 75 yards and convert a two pointer to boot just to tie.

Yet another moment yesterday when "I love being wrong" crossed my mind. It's neat to see that finally, we're run by a grown up.

* The D Bowe touchdown. Even as everyone was celebrating after the catch, I immediately texted "not a TD". I thought for sure that (a) he only got the right foot down, and (b) since the Chiefs refused to show the replay for nearly three minutes, there was no way he was in. (I know that's standard practice, to not show a play that you think will go against you, but seriously guys, we're all grown-ups here, even if most of us are slightly inebriated by the 4th quarter. I think we can reasonably handle seeing a replay.)

Then, they finally showed the replay. And Bowe did a phenomenal job of getting the left foot down, somehow maintaining control, and getting the score to put the game out of reach.

Have I mentioned lately that sometimes, I love being wrong?

* It's about this point, that the Springfield chick comes wandering back down the aisle. She'd been gone since halftime because ... wait for it ... she was so hammered she forgot where she sat. But apparently something brought her home. "I found you guys again" she slurred, "and it was because of this!" as she rubbed my Jets hat.

Now, I have been intoxicated on a number of occasions, including inside that stadium ... but (1) I have never been so drunk that I couldn't remember where I sat, and (2) I sure as all hell have never found my way back to my seat because I recognized the hat of the person who sits two rows behind me. So either there's still higher levels of intoxication I
haven't attained yet ... or this chick cannot handle her liquor. I'm going with the latter out of fear. The idea that there's levels of drunkenness I haven't yet attained scares the sh*t out of me.

* Loved Berry's INT. Loved how he refused to get tackled. In retrospect, yeah, it was kind of stupid. Once he was in jeopardy of being tackled, go to the ground. Don't risk turning it back over. But -- but! -- I loved what the play showed. These guys play to the final whistle. They are giving everything they have out on that field to win the game. That's ...wow. That's coaching folks. Sure, it's also having players that give sh*t, as opposed to the mail-it-in efforts of the last few years ... but that's coaching.

Yeah, I love being wrong.

* We unintentionally created a new drink yesterday. Affectionately named "the Rooskell", after its creater, Russ the Bus Man. He was filling up the flasks Sunday morning, and decided for one of the flasks, he'd just wing it. Anything that looked like or smelled like whiskey, he added. The problem was, in the flask he added it to, there was still some Hot Damn in there from the prior game.

But if you want to try the Rooskell, it's a healthy combination of Hot Damn and Wild Turkey ... with a splash of Weller on top.

(Believe it or not, it's actually quite good).

* After the game, I stopped for the traditional post-game hug with Jennifer, then it was off to the bus to celebrate. After high-fiving a bunch of fans on the walk back, stopping and talking with the neighbors, and enduring the chocolate whipped cream shot, it was time to do what I do best: sit in the sun and drink. Which I did. And you're damned right
those screwdrivers I enjoyed were made "Steve style".

* Another thing I love about that place -- the walk up the spiral ramps after a win. The very loud tomahawk chop chants. "Let's Go Chiefs!" chants. My favorite is the week before the raiders or donkeys games, someone always gets a "F*ck the raiders! / F*ck the broncos!" chant going. That never gets old.

And now, the newest addition this year -- the pounding of the sides of the ramp walkways. Last year, and every year before, those bad boys were concrete. Now, they're some kind of metal siding. The acoustic sound as people pound that thing is awesome.

* Finally about 4ish, it was off for home. Only Russ didn't drive. Will did. Let's just say, that is the fastest we've ever made it home from a game. Unfortunately, it was also one of the toughest rides home for me ever. As Will's pulling out, I go to refill my screwdriver, and to grab a couple beers for the riders in the back. When Russ drives, he usually takes his time, to make the ride as smooth as possible. (It's an old bus. It's older than me for crying out loud). Will? It's get up and go time. So as he makes the turn out of Gate 6, he accellerates like there's no tomorrow. I'm standing up after grabbing a couple beers out of the cooler, and just go flying. Somehow, I avoid landing on the generator, but I did
land on "Phil"'s foot. The rest of the ride home, because Will never stopped or slowed down, I was stuck holding on for dear life on the floor of the bus, while trying to avoid spilling the screwdriver everywhere.

I know there's photos of this, and I'm sure they'll be circulating eventually if they aren't already flying around out there. But the funniest moment, aside from me going flying halfway down the bus and landing on my ass (screwdriver intact too. You gotta protect the important stuff), is after Will makes a hard right and I go flying yet again as everyone's laughing, my leg is up in the air, and leads to this exchange:

(everyone) (laughing)
(steve) (struggling to sit upright)
(katie) do your boxers really say "I Love Beer"?
(steve) yeah, why?
(everyone) (laughing hysterically)
(mona) this is a first! Steve's the entertainment on the ride home!
(everyone) (laughs all around)

I'm going to trust and assume the laughs were because they saw the boxers, not because they saw what was under the boxers. Right? Right? (crickets chirping).

It was one of those "had to be there moments", but even I was laughing. If you can't laugh at yourself ... well, at least you can always laugh at me.

* But the biggest laugh of the day for me, was reserved for the closing act.

Get back to Russ and Mona's afterwards, and we all decide to watch the late game out on the deck, it's way too nice of a day to waste indoors. Only, because both games mattered to the Chiefs (Pats at Chargers, raiders at broncos), it's up to me to decide which one is more competitive, and put it on.

So I fire up the DirecTV receiver, and put on the Pats / Chargers, which is 10-3 Patriots heading into halftime. Then, I turn it to channel 715 for the donkeys and raiders.

I nearly spit out my screwdriver when I saw the score.

oakland 38, denver 0, not even three minutes into the second quarter.

I just busted out laughing. Could not stop myself. The donkeys losing 38-0 at home! To oakland of all teams! How in the hell do you allow oakland to score 38 in a game? At home?

Just a perfect ending to a nearly perfect day. denver getting taken to the woodshed. Eff the donkeys indeed.

* So ... the Chiefs now sit three clear of the Chargers, three clear of the donkeys, and two clear of the raiders. And three of our next four are against the Bills, the raiders, and the Cardinals, none of whom is exactly a playoff threat at this point.

There's just one question left to ask?

Are you in? Because as Incubus would note, "it's so much better when everyone is in. Are you in?"

Sunday, high noon. Your first place Kansas City Chiefs hosting a frisky Buffalo Bills squad that should have beaten the Ravens yesterday. It's a game that we should win. It's a game we need to win. And it's also a chance for you to make your mark on the march to a division championship by saying you were there.

I have no idea what the forecast is, but I'm guessing it'll be overcast and crappy for tailgating, and bright and sunny for the game, if the current pattern from the last couple years holds.

If you need a place to tailgate, you're always welcome to join us. We're doing some kind of Buffalo theme on Sunday. I'm always up for losing yet again at washers. I think I do two things in life better than anyone else. One is sit in the sun with my shirt off and drink. The other is lose at washers. I'm all pro at both of those activities, that's for sure.

Anyways, hope to see you Sunday. The road to the AFC West championship is clearly marked now. If the Chiefs go 6-4 down the stretch, the Chargers or donkeys would have to go 8-1 just to tie us, the raiders would have to go 7-2. It's no longer a question of "can the Chiefs win the division". The answer to that, based on the results so far, is clearly "hell yes they can!"

Nope, it's now a question of "how many games are these guys gonna win once they get to the playoffs?" Based on what I witnessed yesterday, I don't think that's a ridiculous question to ask ...

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week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...