(richard the ameristar blackjack dealer voice) practice!

“You’ve got all that I need …

We’re looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I, (with you)
I know that I’m good for something
So let’s go and give it a try (we’ve got)
Our backs against the ocean,
It’s just us against the world –
Looking at all or nothing,
Babe it’s you and I.
Looking at all or nothing --
Babe it’s you and I …”

“All or Nothing”, by Theory of a Deadman …


Since I am not one given to hyperbole or overstatement, I will open by saying this:

The Chiefs just blew clinching the division for all intents and purposes today.

Had the Chiefs held on today, they would have been 2 ½ clear of every other team, coming home for two straight winnable (yet frighteningly tough) home games, knowing that:

(a) the donkeys and raiders are playing a virtual elimination game in denver on Sunday, and
(b) the Chargers host the Patriots in another “win or else” game on Sunday.

We choked. There’s no other way to put it. We got more help than even on the Immaculate Quadrefecta Sunday today. We should have buried the division today. Scott Pioli should have been sending out a letter tomorrow I’m nearly creaming my pants in anticipation of receiving, demanding playoff ticket money from me.

The division was there to grab by the throat today … and we gagged.

But that’s ok. As much as I enjoy a Chiefs season, as much as I love this team, it’s not the be all, end all of life. Today sucked … but at the end of the day, we’re better off than we were when the day started. We’re one game closer to clinching a division championship for the first time in seven years, hosting a playoff game for the first time in seven years. Nobody was seriously hurt, nobody died on the field. Today, was a good day, long term.

Which is what makes Sunday so critical. Because we once again have been granted by the scheduling Gods an opportunity to grab this division by the throat.

The donkeys and raiders play in their twice annual “No, seriously, if the terrorists nuke this event, it is NOT a national tragedy” showdown, that this year serves as a virtual elimination game. The loser falls to 2-5, potentially 3 behind the Chiefs hitting their bye, unable to control their own destiny. The Chargers host the Patriots. They are more than capable of losing to those guys, considering they’ve already found a way to lose to the Rams, the Seahawks, and the raiders, none of whom is exactly a powerhouse in this league.

(As a side note: loved the “Orange Out” at fake mile high today. Seriously. I LOVED it. Because cheesy, pathetic “outs” like that, is what teams without a passionate fan base do to drum up support. We’ve NEVER had a “Red Out” at Arrowhead. At least in the last 20 plus years. Because we don’t have to be “told” what to wear. Congratulations patrick j. bowlen, you salary-cap cheating piece of shit, shit not * on purpose. Are you proud of your team, patrick j. bowlen? You proud? Thirteen years ago, as defending NFL champions, you stood before the denver city council and insisted your team could not compete in this league without a new stadium. You got it. And now? You’re a fucking joke to any sensible NFL fan. We LAUGH at what you’ve become. No, screw that – we pop open champagne bottles over what you’ve drug this team into. This is what you are now, a fucking joke, no * on fucking either. You are a mother fucking joke of a franchise. I could not be happier. “Orange Out”. You’re the f*cking Arizona “Super” Cardinals or the Houston f*cking Texans. Used the * for them because unlike you, they’ve never won anything of value and then had to stoop to levels like you are now stooping to.

The denver broncos are a mother fucking joke of a shitty franchise. It’s cool, seriously. I love it. “Orange Out” day. Means only one thing. Repeat after me! “The denver broncos! Have hit! Rock fucking bottom!!!” Can’t wait to beat your ass into a bloody pulp on November 14th, and clinch the division by running up the score on your pathetic asses on December 5th. Good freaking God, I hate that team with every ounce of being I have …)

The Chiefs on Sunday … host the Jags. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say this week about the matchup. I’m sure at some point, I’ll rationally deal with today’s epic collapse in the fourth quarter to steal defeat from the jaws of victory. I might also at some point watch enough replay to actually witness any actual pass interference contact on Flowers part on Andre Johnson that set the Texans up at the two minute warning. I say “might” – there’s a better shot I’ll be sober on November 2nd as the election results pour in, than of me finding any visual evidence to support that penalty. But hey, there’s always a chance.

I think Sunday is a huge, huge game. In the words of the late, great Mike and the Mad Dog, its hu-yuge. We need every damned last one of you in Arrowhead Nation in a seat on Sunday. That place needs to be a madhouse. It needs to be Terrorhead. (I swear, I’m saving the “motivational speech” for Sunday). But we need every damned last one of you who claims to be a Chiefs fan in the stands, wearing the red and gold, ready to lose your voice. I think the last two weeks have shown this team … is very similar to the 1999 squad. They can beat anybody at home if the crowd is there … and will lose heartbreakers every week on the road because the crowd isn’t.

That 1999 squad, my single greatest “what if” in sports history, came up one home win short of being (arguably) the most successful Chiefs team of the last 40 years. Don’t let this upcoming game against Jacksonville be the game you look back on and say “oh, if we’d just done this …” five years from now. Do your part. Be loud! Show up! This team needs you!

Also in need of you … is my fellow companions in life who sit in front of me in 132. Greg suffered a serious health setback a couple weeks ago. Chris promises she’ll be there on Sunday, “because I want to be with my family”. If that doesn’t say it all. We are family at Arrowhead. Keep Chris and Greg in your thoughts and prayers. Light a candle or three at Mass as I did. And … if you need a place to tailgate, a place to vent, a place to just be a Chiefs fan, show up Sunday. We welcome you with open arms. Because if you’re a Chiefs fan, we’re family. We are Arrowhead Nation.

And because come Sunday, in the words of the South Park gang …

“What would Brian Boitano do,
If he was here today?
I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two!
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do …”

We’re gonna kick an ass or two. Or 53, as in the number of folks showing up in Jaguars jerseys on their sideline. Come on. Everyone’s doing it. Come on. Show up. Everyone’s doing it. Come on … or do I have to unleash “Annoying Dusty J” on you? And trust me – I lived with the guy for two years. You do NOT want “annoying Dusty J” unleashed on you … although Dusty J in any form better find a way to get his happy ass in the stadium come Sunday, or else he's gonna deal with "Grizzley Bear Pissed Stevo" ... and I think that might be worse :) ...