initial thoughts on the schedule

We now know the road our favorite NFL team(s) will face to reach Indianapolis in early February. My initial thoughts on the Chiefs, Jets, and overall league schedule week by week:

Week One:

Chiefs: vs Bills (Sun, noon, CBS). Couldn’t ask for a better home opener. Well, I could; it could have been denver in prime time. But still, opening under the bright sunny skies of a (hopefully) still warm late summer day, I can dig it. Plus, if you can’t win this game, in this spot, that’s not a good sign for 2011. Initial Projection: Chiefs 30, Bills 14.

Jets: vs Cowboys (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). A very intriguing opener. Emotion should be sky high, as it’s the tenth anniversary of 9/11. Curious to see if the Jets can get off to a better start than last year. They need to – just wait until you see weeks three, four, and five … Initial Projection: Jets 23, Cowboys 20 (OT).

Game I’m Most Geeked Up For: Saints at Packers (Thurs, 7:20pm, NBC). PFT made this point when this game leaked, and I couldn’t agree more. The League must be really, really confident this labor p*ssing match won’t last much past early August, because there’s no way in hell you risk losing this game if you think there’s even a slight chance of actual games being postponed. This is gonna be a tremendous season opener. Tremendous. Also on tap week one? Steelers at Ravens, Falcons at Bears, Eagles at Rams, Giants at Redskins. No way the NFL opens with this f*cking solid of a week if they think it won’t be played. Now let’s force the NFLPA* to legitimately bargain, no matter how that happens, via judicial verdict, common sense entering the NFLPA* rank and fire, or hired goons taking out the inept and utterly unlovable demaurice smith (whose name has earned “never capitalize” status. Congrats demaurice, I hate you as much as I hate peyton manning, john elway, and dick gannon. You must be proud.

Worst Game On The Board: Bengals at Browns (Sun, noon, CBS). If Carson Palmer is traded, this might be a 3-2 final. And I’m being generous in assuming one team can muster a field goal.

Sleeper Matchup: Eagles at Rams (Sun, noon, FOX). A very intriguing game with potentially huge wildcard ramifications. Very intriguing.

Week Two:

Chiefs: at Lions (Sun, noon, CBS). Just like last year, we get a very winnable week two roadie. There is absolutely no reason the Chiefs cannot win this game. It won’t be easy. And God knows Gunther Cunningham will have his troops fired up and ready to take on the squad that fired him twice in a decade. But the Chiefs are the better team, and the longer the lockout drags on, the better advantage the established teams will have. Initial Projection: Chiefs 24, Lions 20.

Jets: vs Jaguars (Sun, noon, CBS). The Jets better win this one. The next three are beyond brutal, they’re all on the road, and two are on national television. Initial Projection: Jets 27, Jaguars 13.

Game I’m Most Geeked Up For: Eagles at Falcons (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). Mike Vick returns to Atlanta. Should be fun. But there’s three other great ones – Chargers at Pats, Bears at Saints, Cowboys at 49ers. Hard to believe Dallas / San Fran has fallen as far as it has.

Worst Game On The Board: Packers at Panthers (Sun, noon, FOX). The NFL record for most points one team has scored in a game is 73. That record might be in jeopardy in Charlotte.

Sleeper Matchup: raiders at Bills (Sun, noon, CBS). Bills are frisky enough to spring the upset. raider nation can’t be pleased with two straight frisky roadies to open the season.

Week Three:

Chiefs: at Chargers (Sun, CBS, 3pm). I’ll put it this way: the plane could fail to take off, the players could spend Saturday night in an adult entertainment establishment in Tijuana, they could be more baked and buzzed than me at a Ben Harper concert … and the Chiefs STILL can’t play worse than they did at San Diego last year. Initial Projection: Chargers 31, Chiefs 16.

Jets: at raiders (Sun, CBS, 3pm). There is no reason both teams shouldn’t be 2-0 entering this contest. The difference being, two raider road wins, and two Jets home wins. The last time the Jets entered the black hole, Mark Sanchez engineered a blowout of epic proportions – so epic that he famously purchased and ate a hot dog from a vendor, the game was that out of hand. That will not be the case this time. Initial Projection: raiders 27, Jets 20.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Redskins at Cowboys (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). Anytime two NFC East teams line up against each other, it’s appointment television.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Dolphins at Browns (Sun, noon, CBS). Smells like a Criqui / Buerelein broadcast.

Sleeper Matchup: Steelers at Colts (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). OK, this isn’t a “sleeper” matchup, but should still be fun to watch.

Week Four:

Chiefs: vs Vikings (Sun, noon, FOX). Hey, two very winnable home games to open the schedule, plus a very winnable roadie. I can dig it. Although please, Arrowhead Nation, don’t show up wearing purple 69 jerseys. You can say trading Allen was a bad thing … and you would be dead wrong. I’d much rather have Branden Albert and Jamaal Charles than Jared Allen. And you would too, if you’d be honest with yourself. Initial Projection: Chiefs 34, Vikings 10.

Jets: at Ravens (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). The Ravens won at the Jets in prime time last year. The Ravens will beat the Jets at home in prime time this year. And if these back-to-back roadies aren’t bad enough, just wait til you see what’s on tap. Initial Projection: Ravens 20, Jets 14.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Patriots at raiders (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). This one should be fun. If the raiders are as legitimate as I fear they are, this should be really fun.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Bills at Bengals (Sun, noon, CBS). Hide the women and children, because tuning in for even 0:01 of this abortion qualifies as wife beating and/or child abuse.

Sleeper Matchup: Saints at Jaguars (Sun, noon, CBS). The last time New Orleans visited Jacksonville, was one of the wildest, most f*cked up finishes in NFL history. The Saints scored on the final play of the game to pull within one via a hook and lateral / constant lateraling down the field. And shanked the extra point that would have tied the game. Doubt this one will be as amazing, but if there’s a chance …

Week Five:

Chiefs: at Colts (Sun, noon, CBS). Gee, Chiefs at Colts, week five. Haven’t seen that one before. Oh wait, we just did last year. This, finally, is the year the “all time great” known as peyton manning finally sees his cap-crippling contract f*ck his team over. Initial Projection: Chiefs 23, Colts 20 (OT).

Jets: at Patriots (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). Are you freaking kidding me, NFL schedule makers? A three game roadie – at oak, at Bal, and at NE? Really? Are you just that stupid, or do you hate Gang Green that much? Initial Projection: Patriots 74, Jets 3.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Bears at Lions (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). Yes, I picked Bears at Lions. If you don’t understand why, I’ll give you a few hints. ESPN broadcasts a 90 minute pregame show LIVE from the site of the game. One of the hosts of that LIVE pregame show is the architect of the 2001-2007 Lions that were (arguably) the worst run franchise in NFL history over that timeframe. And did I mention that this guy will be broadcasting LIVE from the scene of the crime? Philly fans might be off the hook by the time 6:30 rolls around. Seriously. If my name was Matt Millen, I’d make damned sure my life insurance policies were all in force and active, and that my personal affairs were in order. And sadly, that isn’t a joke.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Cardinals at Vikings (Sun, noon, FOX). Not even God will tune in to see how his former team is doing. (kurt warner voice) I love you Jesus! Damn, tack another two months in purgatory onto my eventual sentence …

Sleeper Matchup: Bucs at 49ers (Sun, 3pm, FOX). A very, very intriguing matchup with potential huge wildcard ramifications.

Week Six:

Chiefs: bye. The optimist in me has us at 4-1. The realist in me has us at 3-2. The pessimist in me has us at 2-3, facing a very difficult roadie out of the bye, then coming home to “save the season” on a Monday night against the team that “jumpstarted” the season last year. No matter which viewpoint wins out, I can live with it.

Jets: vs Dolphins (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). Good freaking God, does the schedule maker hate us or what? Three straight (at best) toss-up or worse roadies, followed by a prime time game against our Achilles heel? Thanks dude. You’re the best. No really, NFL Schedule Dude, you are the mother f*cking best. Initial Projection: Jets 28, Dolphins 27. But there is no way I’d wager even $0.01 on that projection.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Saints at Bucs (Sun, 3:15pm, FOX). Gotta be honest folks, this week is a total dud. Save for the sleeper matchup.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Browns at raiders (Sun, 3pm, CBS). Smells like a 55-3 yawner.

Sleeper Matchup: Cowboys at Patriots (Sun, 3:15pm, FOX). Sleeper in that who the hell knows if Dallas shows up. If they do, this might match their last two epic showdowns (an OT Pats win at Foxboro in 2003, and a 49-38 Pats win in Dallas during the unbeaten regular season).

Week Seven:

Chiefs: at raiders (Sun, 3pm, CBS). The good news is that the Chiefs have won 7 of their last 8 to the raiders, and the only loss was on a “1 in a million” catch by jacoby ford in overtime last year. The bad news is that the first 7 wins were against raiders teams that all lost at least 11 games, and the loss was against a rising power that will only be better this season. Initial Projection: raiders 23, Chiefs 20 (OT).

Jets: vs Chargers (Sun, noon, CBS). The hits keep coming. Last time the Chargers played in New York, LaDainian Tomlinson dropped 200 yards on the Jets in an overtime victory. Let’s hope he repays his former team with a 175 spot. Initial Projection: Jets 31, Chargers 20.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Colts at Saints (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). A rematch of a tremendous Super Bowl. Alleged “all time great” peyton manning returns to his hometown. Hopefully he emerges with a concussion and/or life threatening injuries.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Seahawks at Browns (Sun, noon, FOX). The Seneca Wallace Bowl! And not even his folks will be tuned in to watch this mess.

Sleeper Matchup: Steelers at Cardinals (Sun, 3pm, CBS). Another Super Bowl classic rematch.

Week Eight:

Chiefs: vs Chargers (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). The Chiefs have hosted the Chargers in prime time three times. The first was in 1982, when in late December in front of a virtually empty stadium, soon-to-be-sh*t-canned Marv Levy, in below freezing conditions, offered one of my favorite sarcastic quips of all time. As the cameras were on him, and you could literally see his breath freezing as it came out of him, he dropped a “where would you rather be than right here, right now!” pep talk on his team. High comedy. The third time was last year, a goalline stand classic that jumpstarted the season. The middle occasion? Featured my favorite Chiefs play of all time, and had me in tears for nearly twenty minutes afterwards. And I don’t mean “it’s a little dusty in here” tears, I mean full on sobs. Let’s just say, whatever happens, this one promises to be special. Initial Projection: Chiefs 26, Chargers 20.

Jets: bye. I have them 4-3 because I overvalue home field … but they easily could be this year’s Cowboys and collapse to 1-6 given the schedule.

Game I’m Most Geeked Up For: other than prime time at Arrowhead on Halloween night? Uuh … Pats at Steelers (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). Potential AFC Championship preview?

Worst Matchup On The Board: Lions at broncos (Sun, 3pm, FOX). I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that not even the lovely KJ is gonna sit through this debacle.

Sleeper Matchup: Jaguars at Texans (Sun, noon, CBS). Could be for final wildcard position?

Week Nine:

Chiefs: vs Dolphins (Sun, noon, CBS). I have missed exactly one regular season game in the last ten years – the season finale against Miami in 2008, when it was -7 at kickoff and the Chiefs were 2-12. I have a family wedding in Miami (ironically enough) at 5:30pm ET on Saturday of this week. So the question is … do I skip the reception and catch the last flight out on Saturday … or wake up at 4am and catch the first flight out on Sunday? And yes, I am going to fly to this bad boy, despite my having a greater fear of flying than John Madden. I am proud to say I haven’t stepped foot on an airplance since January of 2006. I hate flying with a passion. But if that’s how I make kickoff, then it’s how I roll. Initial Projection: I catch a 6:05am ET flight out on Sunday, because let’s be honest, I am NOT passing up an open bar on a freaking beach in November. Dream on. I’m just hoping I remember a shirt for the ceremony at this point, I mean, Miami in November!!! My kind of town!!! I land at KCI about 10:15am KC time, bribe Donnie to expedite my baggage, receive two speeding tickets on the way to Arrowhead … and arrive in my seat just time time to b*tch about the waste of taxpayer dollars known as a flyover. Oh, and Chiefs 34, Dolphins 3.

Jets: at Bills (Sun, noon, CBS). Great, potentially 1-6 and headed to our house of horrors. Here’s a hint: don’t take the Jets at 12:1 this fall. Just don’t. Initial Projection: Bills 13, Jets 10 (OT).

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up For: Ravens at Steelers (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). Always an instant classic.

Worst Matchup On The Board: broncos at raiders (Sun, 3pm, CBS). It is damned near impossible to root for either team. It’s really tough when you have to root for the lesser of two evils … which this season, figures to be denver …

Sleeper Matchup: Packers at Chargers (Sun, 3:15pm, FOX). Might be a 55-54 final. Should be entertaining as hell to watch.

Week Ten:

Chiefs: vs broncos (Sun, noon, CBS). It’s on like donkey kong hitting whatever f*cking bong one of us brings for tailgating. I hate, I mean I f*cking HATE, this team with a passion. The English language has yet to invent a word that accurately conveys my true feelings for the denver f*cking broncos. I said for years that “I can live with 1 and 15, as long as the 1 is denver at home”. Then came 2008, when that damned near happened. And you know what? I still mean it. I can live with 1 and 15, as long as the 1 is an absolute ass kicking of Biblical porportions at home. Preferably under “unseasonably warm” weather conditions. Initial Projection: Chiefs 33, eeyores 6. And I apologize Eeyore. I always liked you growing up, I really did. I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry to degrade your name like this, comparing you to those “chinga tu madres” from hell on earth.

Jets: vs Patriots (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). Gee, nobody will be tuned into this one, will they? Initial Projection: Jets 34, Pats 20.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: uuh, Chiefs! unicorns! Duh! Oh, you mean other than the Day I Live For? Then raiders at Chargers (Thurs, 7pm, NFLN). Always good for 300 plus arrests, 7 homicides, and (thankfully, last year) the upset that opened the door to the Chiefs winning the division.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Vikings at Packers (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). This one has 55-3 written all over it.

Sleeper Matchup: Ravens at Seahawks (Sun, 3pm, FOX). Very, very, very intriguing inter-conference matchup. Very, very intriguing.

Week Eleven:

Chiefs: at Patriots (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). Do I even need to type it? Ok. (cue “mnf intro music”!!!) Duh Duh Duh Duh! (Duh Duh! Duh Duh!) Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh! (Duh Duh! Duh Duh!) Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh! (Duh … Duh … Duh … Duh …) Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh! Duh Duh Duh, Duh, Duh Duh! Duh Duh! Even odds I watch this pushing a .35 on a couch in Wyandotte County. Just not sure which ex-roomie’s couch that I’ll be on. Initial Projection: Patriots 38, Chiefs 17.

Jets: at broncos (Thurs, 7pm, NFLN). The two teams I love, facing the team I hate more than even osama bin ladin, in the span of five days. Here’s guessing the Fourth Annual Drunkapalooza will see an increase of more than 60,000 ounces … Initial Projection: Jets 23, broncos 20.

Game I’m Most Geeked Up For: Eagles at Giants (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). Both games last year were an instant classic. Hell, for 22 years these two have been staging instant classics, dating back to Randall Cunningham’s 91 yard punt in 1989.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Panthers at Lions (Sun, noon, FOX). I am shocked – SHOCKED!!! – that FOX didn’t slide this one into the stand alone slot at 3pm. Shocked, I tell you. Shocked.

Sleeper Matchup: Chargers at Bears (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). Awesome interleague matchup.

Week Twelve:


Chiefs: vs Steelers (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). The last time NBC broadcast a game from Arrowhead Stadium … (steve sighing in disgust, horror, and anger voice) the indwelt f*ckers from denver roo-eened my 21st birthday and won 14-10 in the playoffs. Let’s hope this one turns out slightly better. Screw that – let’s hope this one goes as well as the last time Pittsburgh rolled into town in late November, when the Chiefs returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown and beat the defending champs in overtime. Initial Projection: Chiefs 14, Steelers 7.

Jets: vs Bills (Sun, noon, CBS). They’d better win this one. Initial Projection: Jets 34, Bills 10.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: other than the Red and Gold against our biggest “rival that neither side actually admits out loud is a rival, but both fanbases know is a rival”? Gotta be Patriots at Eagles (Sun, 3:15pm, FOX). It’s the only other game on the board with even a shot in hell of getting flexed into our slot on NBC. And I’d bet my sweet white ass CBS protected this thing. NBC’s coming to town folks. The Chiefs are going to be available on every television set plugged into an outlet in the wall for the first time since December 2006! You don’t even need (mean gene okerlund voice) “to call your cable and / or satellite provider” to watch us!

Worst Matchup On The Board: Panthers at Colts (Sun, noon, CBS). Not even the most drunken, degenerate gambler at the Golden Gate will look up from their $.99 shrimp cocktail to wager on this one. Uum, not that I’ve ever enjoyed a 99 cent shrimp cocktail or five at the Gate. Let’s just move on.

Sleeper Matchup: 49ers at Ravens (Thurs, 7pm, NFLN). Brother vs brother! What excitement! What tintillation! (peter griffin voice) check out that side boob. That turn you on? Well it shouldn’t. Because it’s my side boob. Good night everybody!

Week Thirteen:

Chiefs: at Bears (Sun, noon, FOX). For any Chiefs fan thinking this one might get flexed, just wait until you get two paragraphs down. The best we can hope for is getting pushed to 3:15 … and even that looks iffy with Packers at Giants already drawing the Joe Buck / Troy Aikman / Pam Oliver crew. Still, this is a very winnable roadie, and we damned well might need this one, a la at St. Louis last December, to eek out a division title. And yes, our last three games have been at Patriots / vs Steelers / at Bears. As bad as that is? It’s about to get worse. Initial Projection: Bears 23, Chiefs 20 (OT).

Jets: at Redskins (Sun, noon, CBS). The Santana (doo doo doo do doo!) Moss Bowl! Or the Laveranues Coles Bowl! Hell, just insert “sh*tty Jets WR” here, and name a Bowl game after them, it can’t be any more ridiculous than half the actual NCAA affiliated bowl game’s actual names. Initial Projection: Jets 24, Redskins 3.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: Colts at Patriots (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). Poor Kevin O’Reilly. Like it isn’t bad enough he’s inheriting the WORST PERFORMING EVER PRIME TIME LINEUP IN NETWORK HISTORY!!! (caps added for emphasis, and yes, Univision is outdrawing NBC on a weekly basis right now …), like that’s not bad enough … this game falls one week outside of November sweeps. So he can’t use it to at least salvage something from the fall book. (I lived with a RTVF major in college, I know way, way more about the Nielsen system than I should, believe me. That, and I watch way, way too much television). Kevin O’Reilly is definitely not giving the NFL Schedule Dude a Tommy Point.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Panthers at Bucs (Sun, noon, FOX). Other “doozies” to choose from include Ravens at Browns (Sun, noon, CBS), Titans at Bills (Sun, noon, CBS), and Bengals at Steelers (Sun, noon, CBS). You pick the worst one out of those, and if you disagree with my choice, that’s cool. They’re all on par with watching a prostate exam for three straight hours.

Sleeper Matchup: Chargers at Jaguars (Mon, 7:30pm, ESPN). An EXTREMELY intriguing matchup with HUGE postseason ramifications for both teams. Kudos to ESPN for fleecing a game this good from a week with this many sh*tty matchups.

Week Fourteen:

Chiefs: at Jets (Sun, noon, CBS).
Jets: vs Chiefs (Sun, noon, CBS).

To say this game will have huge postseason ramifications riding on it, is probably an understatement. To say I will be drinking heavily and possibly might purchase an ounce to calm the nerves during this game with, is a grouse understatement of zues proportions. To say I will root for the Jets in this game, is to underestimate in an offensive way how much I love the Red and Gold. Initial Projection: Chiefs spring it, somehow, someway. I just wouldn’t advise being with 200 feet of me when this game goes down, it won’t be uneventful. Chiefs 26, Jets 20.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: really? You have to ask? Really?

Worst Matchup On The Board: Patriots at Redskins (Sun, noon, CBS). The last time these two teams faced off, it was a 55-9 final. This one might be worse.

Sleeper Matchup: Bears at donkeys (Sun, 3pm, FOX). Uum, I might need to amend my Rule 16: “If terrorists strike the stadium while the oakland raiders and denver broncos are playing each other, it is not a national tragedy. It is cause for a national celebration”. I might need to amend that to include “chicago qb jay cutler facing his former team, the denver broncos”. I still can’t believe denver didn’t keep him, he’s a perfect QB for them. he’s gutless, he’s spineless, he dates worthless reality tv trash, and when the going gets tough, he sits his p*ssy on the bench and lets his team down. jay cutler truly was the PERFECT denver broncos quarterback. he really, really was. Gutless? Check. Doesn’t have a pair? Check. Never won a damned thing of value after junior high? Check, check, check.

(Oh, and “p*ssed away a gimme layup of a home game with the postseason on the line, allowing the Immaculate Fivefecta to pay off? Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!!!!!)

Week Fifteen:

Chiefs: vs Packers (Sun, noon, FOX). Sunday nighter is Baltimore at San Diego. This one might be up for flexing its muscles into prime time. The last Chiefs / Packers game was the beginning of the end of the Carl Peterson (and Herm Edwards) era. It’s arguably the most painful regular season Chiefs game I’ve ever attended. Let’s pray this one turns out better. Initial Projection: Chiefs 33, Packers 24.

Jets: at Eagles (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). Lito Shepherd’s return to Philly. Come on, you know you want to. (boz skaggs voice) Ledo! Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh! He’s for the place, he’s for the show, Ledo’s waitin’ for the boat! O Ledo! Oh Oh Oh Oh! Oh! Oh! He said One More Try outta do it, One Last Shot, Nothing to it, One More FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR the road … Initial Projection: Eagles 34, Jets 19.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: Gotta go with KC / Green Bay. Best matchup on the board.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Browns at Cardinals (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). McCoy! Beck! Criqui! Buerelein! Beasley Reece! It’s the NFL on CBS!!!

Sleeper Matchup: Patriots at broncos (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). Could be a weather game. Could be entertaining. That, and trust me – week fifteen is that devoid of anything decent to watch.

Week Sixteen:

Chiefs: vs raiders (Sat, noon, CBS). The raiders have won four straight at Arrowhead. Unbelievable. That streak MUST end if the Chiefs are repeating as division champs. Initial Projection: Chiefs 33, raiders 30.

Jets: vs Giants (Sat, noon, FOX). Shocked NBC didn’t snag this one for Christmas night, honestly. Initial Projection: Jets 34, Giants 30.

Matchup I’m Most Geeked Up About: Bears at Packers (Sun, 7:20pm, NBC). I think even God can take a few minutes away from the Birthday celebration to tune into this one.

Worst Matchup On The Board: Cardinals at Bengals (Sat, noon, FOX). As ugly as this league gets.

Sleeper Matchup: 49ers at Seahawks (Sat, 3:15pm, FOX). Could be for the division?

Week Seventeen:

Chiefs: at broncos (Sun, 3:15pm, CBS). I smell a roadie coming on. Then again, is turning me loose on the biggest night of binge drinking (New Year’s Eve) in denver a good thing for my health and/or well being? Initial Projection: denver 31, Chiefs 28.

Jets: at Dolphins (Sun, noon, CBS). Intriguing finale. Initial Projection: Jets 23, Dolphins 20.

Game I’m Most Geeked Up About: uuh, really? Really? You have to ask? Really? Especially if I’m getting pelted by snowballs by those demon-possessed fans of denver? Really? You have to ask? Really?

Worst Matchup On The Board: Lions at Packers. Enjoy the 56-3 victory Pack.

Sleeper Matchup: 49ers at Rams (Sun, noon, FOX). For the division?

Chiefs thoughts: we must be 6-3 at worst after denver leaves town. 6-3 at worst. Because our closing seven is BRUTAL. Six against playoff contenders, five against playoff teams from last year, and a closer at our personal house of horrors. You’re praying for 5-2 against that stretch (at NE / vs Pitt / at Chi / at Jets / vs GB / vs oak / at den). You’re hoping for 4-3. You’re bracing for 2-5.

Jets thoughts: as tough as the Chiefs finish is, the Jets start is. A brutal five week stretch (at oak / at Bal / at NE / vs Mia / vs SD) that determines the fate of the season. To say nothing of opening against a sure-to-be-better Cowboys team in prime time.

Overall thoughts: for the love of God, it’s a $9 billion industry with a ton of money being left on the table (via the NFLN Thursday night contract). demaurice smith, you’re a national disgrace, embarrassment, and I wish nothing but the worst on you and your family for this idiotic labor war you have unleashed on the public over a mere $10 million over the first three seasons of the cap. You deserve an anal probe. I hope someone gives you one.

(Oh, and settle this ludacris lockout already!)