who the chiefs pick should be

"It was all, that I could do, to keep from cryin'.
Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain.
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'.
You never even called me by my name ...

You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings.
You don't have to call me Charlie Pride.
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard anymore,
Even though you're on my fightin' side.

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me.
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
And you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'.
You never even called me by my name!"

-- "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" by the great David Allen Coe. Seemed fitting on draft day to find a song about calling someone's name out to lead things off ...

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(Side note right up top: I have zero, zip, nada, absolutely no faith the Chiefs will draft who I want them to. They will do what they always do: go the safe, conservative, consensus route and take some defensive end or offensive lineman. And it is going to infuriate me, in a "look out, there goes an empty Coors Light can across the room!" kind of way. But, before you say "as usual Stevo, what were you smoking when you decided THIS is who you want the Chiefs to pick at 21", just note -- "The Voice of Reason" and I rarely agree on anything. Politics (especially), sports (usually), you name it, we never agree. But we are in TOTAL lockstep on what the top two priorities for the Chiefs should be tonight, and who the pick should be if priority one (as expected) is not there at 21. When I've got "The Voice of Reason" on my side, I'd like to think that for once, I won't have half the readership hauling out their best Arnold Jackson voice impersonation and asking "what you talkin' 'bout Stevo?")

(Second side note: for the younger readers in the audience, who last week couldn't figure out an A-Team reference (Jesus God above, are you freaking kidding me ...), Arnold Jackson was the character played by Gary Coleman on "Diff'rent Strokes", and "what you talkin' 'bout Willis?" was his trademark catchphrase. Hope that helps those of you who weren't raised on wretchedly awful 80s sitcoms and dramas. Now, without any further side notes, on to the actual post!!!)

Let's choose to blissfully ignore the labor nonsense that is getting loonier by the hour, and oh yeah, let's also ignore that I still haven't finished the recap of last night's "American Idol" yet (it's coming I swear, if I could ever stop rewinding James' performance ...).

Instead, let's focus today on the one positive of the NFL offseason so far.

Yes, tonight is the NFL Draft, round one. The Chiefs pick 21st overall. As you might expect, I have a very strong opinion about who the Chiefs should use the 21st selection in this year's draft on. What you might not suspect ... is who I desperately want the Chiefs to pick.

Various mock drafts have the Chiefs selecting from a thoroughly predictable group of players. Mel Kiper's final mock has us taking OT Gabe Carimi from Wisconsin. Ditto Don Banks at SI. Todd McShay of ESPN, Peter King of SI, and Pete Prisco of Sportsline have us selecting Arizona DE / OLB Brooks Reed. The Star's Upon Further Review (which has a great look at who they think the Chiefs are targeting, by position and by round) has us taking Baylor DT Phil Taylor. Defensive end, offensive tackle. Certainly those are two areas of need.

But are either of those really the Chiefs biggest area of need? I say no. Screw that, I say "hell no".

With your first round pick, I firmly believe you need to maximize the value of where you pick. I firmly believe you take the best player available that fits your most glaring need.

The Chiefs biggest area of need, in my never humble opinion, is wide receiver. Anyone who watched our playoff loss to Baltimore could clearly see that. The Ravens constantly doubled D Bowe because the Chiefs (literally) had no other reliable receiving threat on the field, other than Jamaal Charles, who was effectly bottled up by the Ravens front seven.

Unfortunately, there are only two "game changer" wideouts in this draft, and in order to acquire either one, the Chiefs will have to move up, likely into the top six or seven picks. Honestly? We can't afford to do that. The Chiefs still have too many holes to fill to be sacrificing first rounders next year in order to move up this year. We either need to maximize the value at 21, or fall back and acquire more picks.

(Of course, if the NFLPA* ultimately wins in the Eighth Circuit, and collective bargaining ceases to exist, then so does the draft. So maybe trading a 2012 first rounder in a draft that, at this point, is a 50/50 bet to occur, wouldn't be such a bad thing? But anyways).

Since I do not support sacrificing future picks to move up for AJ Green or Julio Jones, I believe at 21, the Chiefs should address their second most glaring, obvious need. And it ain't defensive end, defensive tackle, or the offensive line.

It's quarterback.

I can already hear the boo-birds and the folks lined up with rotten tomatoes, ready to start chucking them at me. "Come on Stevo, we can't p*ss away a first rounder on a project!" Uuh, yes, yes we can. God knows we've p*ssed away many a first rounder on "sure bets" like Ryan Sims and Tyson Jackson. "Come on Stevo, we already have Matt Cassel! He's a good quarterback!" Uuh, yes, yes he is. But he is NOT a franchise quarterback.

I made this point a couple months ago in my season ending thoughts, and I'm gonna make it again. Six years ago, the Chiefs held the 15th pick in the 2005 NFL Draft. The obvious, safe, nobody will question it pick, at that point, was Texas LB Derrick Johnson. The Chiefs had a need at linebacker. The best linebacker in the draft was available. "The Voice of Reason" argued in favor of the Johnson pick for 15 straight minutes ...

While I countered his argument for fifteen straight minutes that the (not) safe, (not) obvious, (definitely) no doubt about it selection was to draft Cal QB Aaron Rodgers. If EVER a franchise quarterback had fallen into our laps, was my argument, it was now. You can always find a serviceable linebacker, either in free agency or via a training camp trade or cast-off signing. What you will NEVER find, via free agency, and RARELY find, via a trade, is a franchise quarterback, a guy you can trot out there every game for a decade and know his presence on the field makes you a contender.

The Chiefs selected Derrick Johnson. To be fair, DJ has had a solid, serviceable career. He was the safe, obvious, no doubt about it, can't miss prospect he was advertised to be. But -- be honest. Would you rather have Derrick Johnson on the roster, or would you rather have Aaron Rodgers under center? If your answer honestly and objectively is "Derrick Johnson, Stevo, that's who I'd want", I suggest you immediately put down the bong, put down the Miller Lite, stop snorting the line, and seek the council of a mental health professional. Immediately. Because you've just proven Steve Rule 34.

You know, Steve Rule 34. "If you ever make a decision, and find that the reaction to said decision is "you'd have to be mentally retarded or named Steve to have done that", just assume you've f*cked up". If you want a defensive end tonight, or an offensive tackle, then please, re-read rule 34. And realize that even the Steve referred to in that rule thinks you'd have to be mentally retarded to go that route.

The pick tonight, the ONLY pick, that makes sense, both from a short-range, mid-range, and long-term view of the franchise, the name that had damned well better be on the card when the Chiefs walk it up to the podium ...

Is Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett.

(hushed, shocked silence).

Yes, Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett.

(more stunned, hushed, "stevo has officially lost his f*cking mind" silence).

One more time. Arkansas. Quarterback. Ryan. Mallett.

For one reason, and one reason only: you CANNOT pass up a potential franchise quarterback when he falls in your lap. Period. Mallett is going to be there at pick 21, thanks to ridiculous rumors about alleged drug use that NOBODY can prove. The kid has been in trouble once in his life -- he got an underage public intoxication charge. I'm here to tell you, if drinking under age disqualifies you from pursuing your chosen career, then pretty much every f*cking person reading this should be drawing unemployment or living in their parents basement broke and destitute right now. I drank under age. Hell, I drank under age in my parent's basement. Amazingly, I never got a public intoxication charge, but God knows I should have on many occasions.

For that, for one night of postgame celebration, you're gonna crucify the kid? I've read the drug rumors. OK, let's concede that he got into weed his first semester at Michigan. Let me get this straight -- an 18 year old, out on his own for the first time, over 1,500 miles from home, not knowing a person on campus, feels homesick, feels lonely, and decides to smoke to cope with it? Crucify the kid! I mean Jesus, that's exactly what I did when I went to TCU. I got homesick and depressed my first semester. I drank and got high to cope with it. (Something I still do 15 years later. Wait, scratch that. It's now 16 years later. Man, I am freaking old.) Lots of people do that, turn to chemicals to deal with depression. It's not even remotely surprising to me that he dabbled with weed. Because again, if smoking weed disqualifies you from pursuing your chosen field of employment, then just about every person reading this should reconsider their lives.

There is NO evidence anywhere that Mallett ever progressed beyond weed, and even if he had, he passed every drug test ever given him in college and at the combine. So he's drug free right now, and has been for at least the last three years. What's the problem here? This isn't Jimmy Smith, the talented CB from Colorado that some team is going to p*ss their first round pick away on. Jimmy Smith, with at least three -- 3!!! -- documented failed drug tests at Colorado, one for codeine. That's a drug addict folks. That's someone with no self control. Yet some team is going to willingly risk millions of dollars on a kid who time and time again can't control his urges, while Ryan Mallett slides and has ridiculous rumors that not one godd*mned person can prove flying around about him. It's beyond outrageous. It's grouse. It's criminite in nature.

Here's what I see when I look at Ryan Mallett. I see a guy who, when graded by Football Outsiders, threw 21 passes last season of 40 or more yards. 17 of them were accurately thrown. 17 of 21 deep balls were direct hits into his receivers hands. That's insane. Do you think Matt Cassel can go 17/21 against a SEC-level defense on balls going 40 plus yards deep? Hell no he can't! Some team is going to pick Jake Locker, a nice kid, a decent prospect, ahead of Ryan Mallett. Locker completed 54% of his throws in his collegiate career. 54%! He also posted two losing records in his three seasons as a starter, and his one winning record, this past season? He went 7-6. To put it mildly, that's not franchise level good. That doesn't project into a big-time winner at the next level. Yet some team is going to pick him ahead of Ryan Mallett. I swear, I could be a NFL GM. I'm smarter than half of them. I know I am as intoxicated as some of them appear to constantly be.

I see a kid in Mallett who took Arkansas from 5-7 (the season he transferred, and had to sit out) ... to 8-5 and the Liberty Bowl, and 10-3 and the Sugar Bowl. Arkansas. Who happens to play in the best conference in college football (The SEC, which has won the last five national championships, and six of the last nine, by four different schools). Think about that -- in a twelve team conference, four of them (Alabama, Auburn, Florida, LSU) have won the national title in the last five years. Since the advent of the BCS, five SEC schools have won it all (Tennessee as well, in 1998), and a sixth school (Georgia) routinely plays in BCS bowls (four in the last seven years). Meaning half the damned conference is top ten caliber every freaking season. Against that, to say nothing of perennial bowlers South Carolina, Kentucky, and Ole Miss, against that level of competition, Mallett took a decent but not great Arkansas team to 18 wins (versus 8 losses) and a BCS bowl in two years. That's what I see when I see Ryan Mallett -- he's a winner, against the highest level of competition college football has to offer.

Other rumors are that he routinely criticizes his teammates. To which I say, so? I would hope he b*tches out poor play! If you aren't carrying your weight, you should expect to have your ass chewed out. I want a quarterback who does that. It shouldn't fall on the coaches to tell someone he sucks ass today. Let the leader of your team do it.

You know who doesn't b*tch about Mallett's criticisms or outbursts or attitude? His coaches and his teammates. Google search it. You can't find a single teammate with anything negative to say about anything affiliated with Ryan Mallett, save for making fun of his lack of speed. (Which no offense, but Matt Cassel isn't exactly Bo Jackson in our backfield either. And the next time alleged all time great peyton manning (now 10-11 in the postseason!!!) scrambles for a 20 yard gain, will be the first. I don't care if a QB can scramble. I care if he can throw. Mallett can flat out throw the freaking football. Don't believe me? Keep reading).

Here are Mallett's stats from his two seasons at Arkansas (source: ESPN Insider):

26 games, 26 starts.
18-8 record (11-5 SEC).
491/814 (60.3%) passing, for 7,464 yards.
62 TD / 19 INT.

I'm just gonna flat out ask this -- does any Chiefs fan reading this think there's even a remote shot in hell that over a 26 game stretch, that Matt Cassel would complete 60 percent of his passes, for over 7,000 yards, with a 4/1 TD / INT ratio? I will grant you, the college game's rules encourage more offense, more scoring, because the clock stops so often. So let's just drop that a little bit -- does any Chiefs fan reading this think there's even a remote shot in the seventh layer of hell that over a 26 game stretch, Matt Cassel would complete 55% of his passes, for over 5,500 yards, with a 3/1 TD / INT ratio? I can see (1) and (3), but there's no way he's getting (2). Mallett not only can attain those goals, he already has surpassed them!

Look it, I like Matt Cassel. He's a decent quarterback who's good enough to get you to 10 wins and a playoff berth. Which is what's wrong with him. Because Matt Cassel is every damned quarterback this team has had the last 25 years. Good enough to get you into the playoffs (Bill Kenney, Steve DeBerg, Dave Kreig, an old Joe Montana, Steve Bono, Elvis Grbac, dick gannon, Trent Green, Damon Huard, Matt Cassel). All those guys led the Chiefs to a playoff berth. All of them are serviceable, decent NFL quarterbacks. NONE of them was a "franchise quarterback", including gannon. (No, dick gannon is NOT a franchise QB. Someone who is cut by four teams before getting it, is not a franchise QB. Ditto someone who becomes an entrenched starter for the first time at age 35. You can't bulid long-term around that. Which stupidly, the raiders tried to do. That's why they're the raiders, God hate their heinous demon-indwelt hearts).

For years, when I was asked the question "Stevo, what would you rather have, the 1990s Chiefs (9 winning seasons, 7 postseason berths, 3 division championships, 1 AFC Title game appearance, 0 Super Bowls) or the 1990s Rams (1 winning season, 1 division title, 1 NFC Title game appearance, 1 Super Bowl)"? And for years, and years, and years, my answer always, without a moment of hesitation, was "1990s Chiefs". Because let's be honest -- if you were a Rams fan, a die hard Rams fan, the 1990s were nine years of awful. 9 straight 10 loss seasons, your team moves halfway across the country, they keep hiring decrepit old coaches that bomb out on the field (John Robinson, Chuck Knox, Rich Brooks, Dick Vermeil). And entering the final season of the 1990s, you're starting a grocery store stock boy under center.

What I never accounted for ... was that at some point, you get f*cking sick and tired of being good enough to contend, but never good enough to be on top at the end of the year. I'm at that point now. I'm sick and tired of shelling out $2,000 plus dollars a year to watch a 10 win team get boatraced in the wildcard round. I want a championship. I want to collapse in my beloved seat (132, 26, 14) as the clock strikes triple zeros of the AFC Championship game, and just begin crying. Not little tears of joy, I mean full on sobs, as the Chiefs accept Lamar's Trophy and reach a Super Bowl. I want that. Desperately. I want to be that guy every person walking by is making fun of because I can't stop crying at my team reaching a Super Bowl. I want to be that guy who gets laughed at, mocked, ridiculed on the walk out as the tears are still streaming down my face ...

Because I know every legitimate die-hard fan is gonna be crying right along with me. The only way those tears of joy are ever gonna come, is by drafting, grooming, and starting a franchise quarterback under center. Matt Cassel is NOT a franchise quarterback. He's a solid option, but you're not winning a Super Bowl with him. He's Matt Hasselbeck, he's Carson Palmer, he's Jay Cutler, he's David Garrard. You can absolutely win 10-11 games, a division title, and maybe a game in the wildcard round with Matt Cassel under center. But you sure as all hell aren't going on the road in round two, to Indy or New England or Pittsburgh or Baltimore or San Diego or even the swamps of North Jersey, and beating them on the road with Matt Cassel under center, I know that for sure. (Well, ok, maybe at San Diego, you always have to account for Norv Turner.)

Thursday night, for the first time since 2005, the best quarterback in the draft, the player that I believe is the ONLY potential franchise quarterback in this draft, is going to fall into the Chiefs lap. We failed to pull the trigger in 2005, and you can argue it's the single biggest mistake of the Carl Peterson era. You can legitimately argue it's the single biggest draft day blunder the Chiefs have made in the last 25 years, and God knows we've had some epic whiffs in the first round. But letting a Super Bowl winning franchise quarterback slide past you because you value a non-franchise position need more? That's insanity. That's why Carl Peterson is unemployed.

Thursday night, Ryan Mallett is going to be there at 21. The Chiefs have a need at defensive end and on the offensive line. Both non-franchise positions. The simple bitter truth is that you cannot win a championship in the NFL unless you have a franchise quarterback under center. Currently in this league, I count 10 guys I would call "franchise quarterbacks" -- Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Flacco, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, Eli Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Matt Ryan). There's three more guys who are damned close to that status (Mark Sanchez, Sam Bradford, Josh Freeman). That's it. Your Super Bowl champion every year for the near future is coming from one of those thirteen quarterbacks, you can bet every damned thing you own on that. And you know what else these guys have in common? 10 of the 13 were first round picks. Drew Brees was the first pick of the second round. Only Tony Romo and Tom Brady were not first round, top of the board quarterbacks entering this league.

The model is there. You win a championship in this league by drafting and investing in a franchise quarterback in round one. It's been that way for years. The last non-franchise QB to win a Super Bowl was Brad Johnson in Tampa Bay. Since then, only the best of the best have led their teams to victory:

2003: Tom Brady over Jake Delhomme
2004: Tom Brady over Donovan McNabb
2005: Ben Roethlisberger over Matt Hasselbeck
2006: Peyton Manning over Rex Grossman
2007: Eli Manning over Tom Brady
2008: Ben Roethlisberger over Kurt Warner
2009: Drew Brees over Peyton Manning
2010: Aaron Rodgers over Ben Roethlisberger

There is one potential franchise quarterback in this draft. Ryan Mallett. His stock has somehow plunged amidst rumors of off-the-field behavior. Meanwhile, a man who got booted from Florida for (depending on who you believe) cheating on a test or stealing a laptop, a man who played for three colleges in three years, and who took $180,000 to arrive at his last location, he's going number one. To say nothing of the fact that Cam Newton hasn't taken one snap in a pro offense, while Ryan Mallett's entire collegiate career, both at Michigan and at Arkansas, was spent in the West Coast / pro style offense.

(The biggest shocker in the Cam Newton mess? Urban Meyer actually punishing one of his players! Attaboy UM! 1 of the 31 players arrested on your 5 year watch was booted! Yay! Jesus, the NCAA is such a f*cking joke, they are a total and complete joke. If Florida football under Urban Meyer is not the absolute textbook definition of "lack of institutional control", then the rule has no reason to exist, and neither does the NCAA. Enforce the f*cking rules on your books guys. Maybe then you won't be a national disgrace. Anyways, back to the point of this post, assuming I can remember what the hell it is ...)

Do it Scott Pioli. Draft Ryan Mallett tonight. Gabe Carimi is a nice prospect. But he's not the difference between making the playoffs and winning a championship. Jordan Reed is a rock solid prospect. Ditto Phil Taylor. Neither one of those guys is going to be the difference maker for you to win a championship. And to be fair, Ryan Mallett may be an incredible bust on par with Todd Blackledge. But I know this -- if he does blossom, and is a success, like I believe he's going to be, you HAVE to draft him tonight. You HAVE to. And it shouldn't take more than 4 seconds to write his name on the card and send it to the stage.

Remember 2005, Scott. Would you rather have Derrick Johnson six years in, or Aaron Rodgers six years in? Please, don't screw the pooch like Carl did six years ago. Take the franchise quarterback. And for the love of God, don't make me have to invoke Steve Rule 34 when the pick is announced tonight ...