I debated whether to go to today's Royals / Angels game or not. For starters, I have about two weeks worth of laundry I need to get to if I intend to have something even semi-respectable to wear to work this week. For another thing, I was out at the Daily Double until almost 1am last night. (Sign you really need to re-examine your life number 1,938,486,327,832: I picked up a $90 bar tab ... and spent the night by myself. God f*cking dammit!)
But after seeing the hour-by-hour forecast this morning ... and checking the pitching matchup (Kazmir vs "C'mon" Chen), and realizing that every "rededication to the faith" has to begin by actually stepping foot in the "Church" ... I was in like Sven.
And like any recent "recovering believer", I went by myself, perfectly content to sit in the back pew, hope nobody recognized me, and perfectly prepared to duck out early if I didn't like the "message".
Well ... the "message" freaking rocked. What should have been a decent pitching matchup was an absolute abortion by both starters. What should have been an easy Angels victory based on the lineups, instead wound up being a 12-9 13 inning Royals victory in a game that saw more crazy sh*t go down than I ever recall seeing in a ballgame before. This was an "offering" to the "Church" I will not regret giving.
A few random thoughts from the Royals epic come-from-ahead victory on an absolutely (almost) picture perfect Sunday afternoon in early April.
* The temperature at first pitch was 81. It felt like 90 in old right field GA, and that was with the 40mph winds occasionally blowing. Let's just say, I was one happy dude.
* Two things that absolutely sucked -- they no longer sell scorecards at a stand as you walk in the gate. Since I didn't want to wait in a 10 person deep line at the main gift shop, I did the long walk out to the outfield (where I planned to sit anyways) and quickly bought a scorecard out there. So that was kind of sucky. The other ridiculous feature -- you bet your sweet ass the Royals now charge you for a pencil to keep score with. Are you f*cking kidding me?!?! If you think I'm showing up for any remaining game this season without my trusty scorebook (purchased post-game at Dick's) and a freaking mechanical pencil with a functioning eraser, you're nuts. Seriously, Royals organization -- I get that you're the cheapest of the cheap-ass franchises in American sports. But THIS is outrageous. Charging for a score-keeping pencil?!?! As I noted to the poor guy checking me out on multiple occasions as I paid for it, "are you f*cking kidding me".
* One other thing I was not a fan of -- no Boulevard Pale Ale at the quick concessions stands anywhere from section 101 eastward (heading towards right field). They had Wheat on tap, but no Pale Ale. I was disappointed. But still enjoyed the Wheat.
* There's a classic scene in my favorite movie ("Saturday Night Fever") where Annette confronts Tony outside the dance studio and tearfully asks the obvious: "What did I ever do to make you hate me? All I ever did was love you". Looking at the Royals starting lineup today, let's just say, I felt like I was in Annette's position. Here's what we trotted out as a "major league" lineup:
* 2B Mike Aviles.
* CF Melky Cabrera.
* LF Alex Gordon.
* 1B Billy Butler.
* DH Kila Ka'aihue.
* RF Jeff Francouer.
* 3B Wilson Betemit.
* SS Alcides Escobar.
* C Brayan Pena.
I mean ... wow. That is awful. I mean, that is a horrendous major league lineup. What did I ever do to you to make you hate me, Royals? All I ever did was love you ... ok, and abandon the faith for a couple years, but hey, I'm sorta kinda back now.
* The chick doing the national anthem did a phenomenal job. Clocked out at barely a minute, no ridiculous riff, no "personal interpretations", and she got the words right. Plus, no flyover, so that's at least $400k, $500k the Republicans won't have to gut the budget of later this week to avoid a government shutdown.
* Hysterical t-shirt some dude sitting next to me had on: The "Hawklich Manuever", with a picture of our mascot receiving aid because he's choking. I laughed at it. Very creative. Even if it's not entirely factually accurate.
* In the first two innings for the Royals, this is what we witnessed: two batters hit by a pitch, a Melky Cabrera home run, Mike Aviles stealing both second and third base, and two balks. Also, the Royals led 5-0 when Scott Kazmir was shown the exits after (according to my "sermon notes") only 64 pitches while facing 14 hitters.
* Unfortunately, "C'Mon" Chen was a phrase I uttered early and often today. (Along with numerous variations of the word "f*ck" accompanying it). Given a 5-0 lead, Chen promptly gave up home runs on two straight pitches, gave up two more runs in the fourth on back to back doubles, and then saw Howie Kendrick go yard for a second straight at-bat to bring the game to 6-5 Royals after five.
* One of the group of kids ... ok, they weren't kids, they were in their early twenties, but compared to me, that's children ... anyways, one of them had Howie Kendrick on his fantasy team, and he's in a weekly head-to-head league. (Loved that style back when I did fantasy baseball). He also was facing his buddy sitting next to him. The sh*t he was dropping on his buddy was hysterical.
* Archie! Our friendly section 132 beer vendor at Arrowhead had east side of the lower deck duty yesterday for Bud Light. Thanks, but I'll pass.
* First time since the Saturday Cardinals game in 2004 that I ran out of room on the "sermon notes". I stopped keeping score after the 11th. If I can ever get this new webcam on the laptop to work, I'll post the pic of my "sermon notes". If you think I'm delusional about Chiefs football, you have no idea how delusional I am about baseball, trust me. I'm that moron that was tracking pitch counts in the mid 1990s, before people realized it's importance. God, I am suck a tool.
* The Royals middle relief, ugh. I get that Crow couldn't go after yesterday, but good God. Every one of them crapped the mound at some point. O'Sullivan probably went one inning too long, but in Yost's defense, if a former starter can't go three innings, well, that's on the player. As bad as Chen was, I thought O'Sullivan was worse. All three of our relievers before extra innings gave up at least one home run (O'Sullivan to Abreu, Tejada to some dude named Peter Bourjos (the Angels ninth hitter), and Jeffress gave up what should have been a crushing, game losing insurance four bagger to former Royal Alberto Callaspo). Fortunately ... hang on, getting ahead of myself here.
* So after leading 5-0 after two innings, the Royals trail 7-6 at the seventh inning stretch. Our lineup had managed three hits since the second inning -- a Pena two out single in the third, a Butler tomahawk home run in the fourth, and an Aviles double in the sixth. Not good. (Speaking of not good, Mike Aviles today everyone! He came up in the ninth with the bases loaded and two outs, and promptly lined out to third on the first pitch. Came up again in the 11th with runners at first and second and two outs, and whiffed on a called third strike that was a no doubt about it call). Anyways, Gordon leads off with a solid line drive single to right. Billy Butler whiffs on four pitches, looking good on none of them. Ka'aihue hits a grounder to second that gets Gordon to second (hit and run play). And into the box stepped Jeff Francouer. The kids I was sitting next to and I both agreed -- this was the key moment of the game. The Royals had lost all momentum. They botch this, the way our bullpen was imploding, we're screwed.
And Jeff Francouer absolutely beat the living hell out of the second pitch he saw, crushing it into deep left center, doubling home Gordon to tie the game. Awesome moment. If this was a true Mass, that would be the equivalent of some soprano in the choir actually nailing the high note on "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". Good stuff.
* So we go to the bottom of the ninth. Royals trailing 9-7 after a couple more bombs by the Angels. Enter Fernando Rodney, who's usually a fairly solid closer option. To say Mr. Rodney was shaky today, is an understatement. He looked shakier out there than a newbie at a $3 blackjack table. (I even used that analogy, and nobody around me disagreed with me). Here was Rodney's appearance today:
* Walked Gordon on four pitches.
* Butler hit a screaming liner to short that Izturis made a helluva leap on for the only out Fernando would record.
* Ka'aihue walked on five pitches (pinch runner Getz).
* Francouer walked on five pitches. Now they're loaded up, one out, Royals down two.
* and Betemit absolutely smoked the ball into the right field gap, scoring two and tying the game, and sending Fernando to the showers. Here's the line I had on him in the sermon notes:
1/3 IP, 20 pitches (5 strikes, 15 balls if I added up my tally correctly), 2 runs (both earned), 1 hit, 3 walks, 0 strikeouts. #failure.
* After some really rock solid relief pitching by both the Angels Jason Bulger and the Royals Tim Collins (who went three scoreless, event free innings), the Royals finally came through, via a Matt Trainer three run blast in the bottom of the thirteenth to finally end a nearly 5 hour ballgame.
One awesome thing about Matt Trainer, for whom today was no doubt a career highlight -- his chosen music as he enters the batters box ... is the theme to "The A-Team". I sh*t you not. Great stuff.
I was so inspired by the finish, that I gave an addition $30 "tithe" to the "ministry" via a new Bo Jackson t-shirt in the gift shop that I purchased.
* Also great stuff, entering the top of the 10th, the Royals broke out a "Staged Pose" cam, and the song playing along as the camera looked for fans flexing their guns -- you betcha, "Real American" by Derringer. I halfway expected the Hulkster himself to be the closing poser, but no ... via taped video, your final poser was WWE stud Sheamus! I couldn't have been prouder. Except, well, I was, via ...
* the between eighth innings camera game, which was "Oblivious Fan" cam, where they focus on some fan paying absolutely no attention and count how long it takes for him or her to notice. In this case, the ENTIRE 90 seconds passed before this chick that was texting finally figured out why everyone was laughing at the scoreboard. #addictedtotexting.
* Relish won the live hot dog race, in case anyone cares. It wasn't even remotely competitive, as Ketchup and Mustard tripped over themselves leaving the bullpen.
* So here's the thing. This team is not any good. The 3-1 record is a complete mirage. Having said that, these guys never give up. They're not going to win more than a couple games in 12-2 no doubt about it fashion, and they're probably going to lose a whole lot of those. But I love an underdog that never quits. The Royals of the last two decades, absolutely do not win that game today. Not after blowing a 5-0 lead and trailing by two entering their final at-bat. Say what you want about these guys, they never give up.
(My way of saying, I can be talked into a mid-week "Mass" on Wednesday afternoon. Especially if it's going to be in the low 70s and sunny, as currently forecast ...)
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