"When the night has come?
And the land is dark?
And the moon,
Is the only light we see?
No I won't be afraid!
No I won't be afraid!
Just as long,
As you stand by me!"
-- "Stand By Me", my favorite version by Otis Redding.
--------------------
I promised a few weeks ago, I'd just write about how I was feeling, like the good ol' days back in 2008. Today, is one of those days, I truly don't know how to describe.
So let's go scattershooting, while contemplating what a random Facebook update on my iPhone, as I headed out to brave the elements and hit the ATM machine, mean ...
* I have a post I'm working on, to hopefully go up mid-morning tomorrow (or early afternoon), regarding Adam Silver and the NBA suspending Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life, for his racist comments his girlfriend recorded (and TMZ broadcast to the world). I'll just simply say this: when you, as an Association, tolerate virulent racism -- as the NBA did in Mr. Sterling's case -- for 33 years, and do nothing about it?
You forfeit the right to be praised, for finally dealing with the proverbial elephant in the room.
If anything, you should be pounded for why you didn't deal with it sooner.
See State, Penn. Paterno, Joe. As your evidence for this.
* So maybe if Mr. Sterling had insulted African-Americans under the age of consent, the mainstream media would get the outrage right?
* Had one of my best days at work in ages, and not just because I don't have to walk through the doors there again until Monday.
We've been finalizing the annual PwC audit this last week, and myself (and a few other co-workers) were available (and pretty much working) 24/7 all weekend, to get us in position to at least get a first sign-off before the deadline tomorrow.
I left work last night, convinced the "fire Stevo!" train was taking off from the station. Yesterday was all about finding someone to blame for how out-of-control (and out-of-compliance) our unapplied cash reconciliation is. Since it's assigned to me, Monday was designated the 2014 Memorial "Throw Stevo Under The Bus" Day. Which, as I noted to my boss, is truly ironic, considering I'm the only person in our department, who takes an actual bus to work most days.
(Ooh, first side rant of the post! The Metro route out to south JoCo? Now has WiFi. I sh*t you not, a freaking bus has WiFi. I literally knock out an hour of work on the 30 minute ride in. Which frees up an hour to post on this site. (Pause). What? (Pause). Yeah, I know, I too wonder if that's a blessing, or a curse (rimshot)!)
So, the blame fell on me. Our 9am, our 11am, our noon (yup, no legit lunch yesterday, wohoo!), and our 2pm, it was one "well, why didn't this get cleared / why is this still in the rec / can you explain this" question after another. By 3pm, my standard answer was set. "The rec is in the shape it's in, because it takes me two weeks to do the month-to-date, another week to do the inception-to-date merge, and this is one of 33 reconciliations I am responsible for. When do you propose I find time, to research a (insert small dollar amount here) variance that no credible auditing firm would even spend 2/1000ths of a second focused on?"
I left work (an hour late!) last night, and I was pissed. So, I stopped off in Waldo, and went to my little slice of heaven in Midtown, that awesome bar known as Quinton's.
It's amazing, how one simple bacon potato soup bowl, half a toasted ham-and-swiss, and four vodka tonics of the 16oz variety, can turn a frown, upside down! (Especially since I got out of there, at under $20 in damage, for that. Seriously, Quinton's rules folks. I get why so many people love Lew's (although after December 14, 2012, I want nothing more to do with that place), I get why so many people love the Well (I'll never pass on a Sunday brunch there. Three words: Bloody. Mary. Bar. That is all.), I even get why (insert bar here) earns your dollars. But Quinton's is the best.
So, I finally get home a little before 8, and I call the 'rents, because if there is one person in this world I can just straight up vent to, it's my dad. My dad, to put it mildly, has seen it all. You don't supervise the loading dock at the main branch of the Post Office for twenty something years, without seeing it all. (Up to and including, "The Voice of Reason", deciding to forego taking a mass mailing inside, and deciding to back a Geo Metro straight up to the loading dock ... you know what? That's a story I'll save, for another day. It's an all time classic though.)
Only I forget, my folks aren't home on Monday; they have some group of friends thingy they do on Monday nights through their church. So, since I didn't want to leave the dreaded "whoa, Steve called but didn't leave a message, is everything ok? Should we call him back?" dilemma in their hands, I just said I had a bad day, and if they got this before 10, give me a call back.
So they called back. I have to be honest, from a totally jealous perspective. I'd be lost without my dad. If we'd lost him October 6 (or more realistically, October 9), I wouldn't have the slightest idea, how to function at times. As much as Gregg is my "voice of reason", my dad really is my "voice of reason".
He started to respond, and ... well, it's something only a kid growing up in the mid 1980s would get. But my dad chose to quote the late, great, Colonel Hannibal Smith, for his pep talk to me.
"Just remember kid -- it's always blackest, just before it goes pitch dark."
That's the stuff I don't ever want to lose -- my dad quoting The A-Team, to talk me off the ledge. "It's always blackest, just before it goes pitch dark". It always looks worse, than it actually is.
How sad, that so many kids growing up today in our country, will never have that kind of relationship, with their dad, that I do with mine.
* Today at work, was far better than I thought it'd be. For starters, we got the non-admit number trimmed from over $17 million (hence my fear of "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!" from the day before), to not even $400,000 (out of an $11,000,000 balance). Whew! Also, I convinced the head of the audit team that using "absolute values" to calculate the "true balance" of the account, is what it is: utter bullshit. Case in point: we have two items, one a debit for $110,700, one a credit for $110,660, the variance of $40 being a bank charge. It needs to be taken to write-off. It's a $40 issue to anyone with a functioning brain.
To the head of our audit? It's a $223,000 issue, because of "absolute value". In the words of John Candy in "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles": "what a moron!"
* Also, our standing 4pm status update meeting, that every person involved in, dreads like the Second Coming? Actually went well today. I SameTime'd Mary, jokingly, nine minutes in, that "you haven't sent me the "guy lighting himself on fire" emoticon yet!" (Sadly, said dude pouring gasoline on himself, then striking the match, came about six minutes later.) Still, we got out on time! That never happens in this meeting! I always am scrambling to catch the last Metro ride home on Tuesday (5:30ish), or flip a coin -- walk a couple miles to catch the bus line again, or just pay the $15 to take the cab home.
* But today at lunch, had its drawbacks. For starters, I chose to drop in the mail, a letter that pretty much ensures, the fight between myself and two people I view(ed) as family, ends ... one way or another. It's up to them now.
Also, it was pouring down rain, and I had to hit an ATM. I only had $2 in cash this morning, so I couldn't get the all-day pass. (Those are $3, and I'm telling you, $3 to get from 500 feet from my front door, to within 1500 feet of my office front door, and back, while using the WiFi to work to and from, is a f*cking steal, it's a ridiculous bargain, given that even out my way, gas is almost $3.50 / gallon.) I had hoped I had at least a buck in change in my desk drawer. No dice. So I had to get some cash, since the Metro doesn't take credit.
I had to brave the elements, to drop the letter (and the final parting gift it is included in) into the mail, and hit the ATM, in the half hour I had between conference calls, to finalize the audit.
I walked the couple blocks to Wal-Mart, hit the ATM, grabbed a few items I needed, checked out, and headed to the mail drop at the edge of the parking lot. Odds are, when I mail this letter, "The Family" will sleep with the fishes for the rest of eternity, because ... well, let's just say, I am known at times for being brutally honest, about how I feel about people. And this is one brutally honest letter, headed to the 66104 zip code.
About fifteen seconds away from the mailbox, my phone started vibrating.
The vibration, was a message from Facebook.
"Today is Kasey Haase's birthday. Celebrate on her timeline ..."
(Pause).
Kasey passed away September 7, 2013.
(Pause).
Those of you who know me best? Know I do not believe in coincidence.
* I held off on dropping the letter. I'm giving it another day, to sleep on what I wrote.
But mostly, all afternoon, I kept coming back to the Facebook message on my iPhone. And the one thing that today just weighed so heavily on me. Which is this:
* Is life really this trivial? Are friends really this meaningless, that we reduce them to Facebook reminders, eight months after they pass away, because nobody took their page down?
I logged in tonight and intentionally read Kasey's page. Half the people posting, don't seem to have a clue, she died eight months ago come a week from tomorrow. It's all current. It's all "happy birthday, hope you enjoy it!" "Happy birthday, live it up!"
I don't claim to be a great friend of Kasey's. We were co-workers for a couple years at Transamerica. She loved the NFL picks post (back when it was an email every Friday). I'd always arrive on Friday to an email in my inbox along the lines of "so, picks come out when today?"
That's what I think friendship is about. Is that you give something to someone that you don't think matters worth a f*ck, but that person, treasures it, loves it, craves it.
I'll freely admit, at times? I don't know why I still update this site. Sometimes, I get it completely. But times like today, when I'm just posting random thoughts that probably flunk not just every spell check, but every interest check -- to say nothing of making me come across as an arrogant, conceited a-hole who thinks the world revolves around him, which is the exact opposite of who I strive to be? I wonder if its worth it.
But if a single person gets the motivation to keep going, by reading a single letter of the alphabet I type and post? Then it's worth it.
I'll close with this:
* In the final season of "NYPD Blue", Bobby Simone (played by Jimmy Smits), returns to help his old partner, Andy Sipowitz (played by Dennis Franz). Sipowitz has reached rock bottom for the fourth time in the series (after the pilot episode, Junior's death, and Bobby's passing).
It's Bobby's declaration in this scene, that has always hit me.
"Andy? If life was short? I wouldn't be here. Life is long."
Life is long.
Unless you choose, to not make it long.
Please, readers, choose ... to make it as long, as humanly possible.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
stevo "cd" review: "the outsiders" by eric church
Happy Sunday, peoples and peepettes!
Sorry this one took so long.
Stevo “CD” Review.
“The Outsiders” by Eric Church.
12 tracks, 51 minutes (approximate).
Let’s begin.
Track 1: “The Outsiders”.
Uum, wow. This is certainly an
interesting track to open the “cd” with.
I’m not saying that it’s bad; it’s just not what you’d expect. The song opens up for the first forty seconds
or slow as a slow, drawn out, haunting song, and then at the forty second mark,
BAM!, the switch gets flipped, and we go up tempo big time into a type of rock
that sounds like something Hank Williams would have put out. Then at the midpoint, it slows right back
down for a moment, before it just explodes with energy, emotion, and a really
damned good sounding, uuh, sound. You
even wind up with a few “raise the lighters and wave ‘em side to side in the
air” moments taking this thing to the finish.
The last minute? Is one of those
guitar / drum riffs that you’d expect in a live show to buy time at the end of
a track for a stage reset or something, not in the opening track to a “cd”.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“We’re the bad news, we’re the young guns.
We’re the ones they told you to run from.
Yeah, a player’s gonna play, a hater’s gonna hate;
And a regulator’s born to regulate.
When it hits the fan, and it all goes down,
And the gloves come off?
You’re gonna find out …
Just who we are!
We do our talking!
Walk that walk!
Wide open rocking!
That’s how we roll!
Our backs to the wall!
A band of brothers –
Together, alone!
The Outsiders!”
Grade: A-. A very
ambitious start. And I happen to like ambition.
Track 2: “A Man Who Was Gonna Die Young”. And after a very up-tempo start, we
definitely slow and strip things down.
If the first track is more a Southern rock style you’d expect from a
Hank Williams or a Lynyrd Skynyrd, this is much more like … you know what it
kind of reminds me of, is “Whiskey Lullaby” by Alison Krauss and Brad
Paisley. It’s a song that you the sound
and pacing, makes you think is about a tragedy, or about something
unpleasant. Then you listen to the
lyrics, and you realize, it’s anything but.
It’s about a dude who lived life to the fullest, only now he looks back,
and can’t understand why he risked it like he did, when what he truly wanted,
was there all along. Let’s just say,
this song and me? We could be friends.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“What the hell made you love
A man, who was gonna die young?”
Grade: B+. A pretty
solid effort.
Track 3: “Cold One”. And
now we get a more traditional country sound.
And like the first two tracks, I like how this sounds. The extended riff at the from the 1:50 mark
to about the 2:50 mark, a solid minute, was phenomenal. As for the song itself? Eeh. Outside
of the riff, I didn’t really care for it.
Still, if this is the worst effort on this “cd”, I’m going to be a happy
man.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“I still like to drink a beer,
But a long neck I won’t do.
‘Cause every time I see one sweating,
Man I break out in one too.”
Grade: C. It’s
there. It’s not memorable, it’s not
horrendous. It’s just there.
Track 4: “Roller Coaster Ride”. And on track four, we finally get a song
that, at least initially, sounds like you’d expect an Eric Church song to
sound. And kids? It’s good.
It’s a phenomenally good song. In
the interest of full disclosure, my five favorite efforts by Mr. Church would
be:
5. “Over When It’s Over” (off “Chief”).
4. “What I Almost Was” (off “Sinners Like Me”).
3. “Hell On The Heart” (off “Carolina”).
2. “Love Your Love The Most” (off “Carolina).
1. “Sinners Like Me” (off “Sinners Like Me” – hey, it is one
of the two official anthems of my life, after all (along with Gavin DeGraw’s “I
Don’t Wanna Be”).
This song? Slides
somewhere between “Hell on the Heart” and “What I Almost Was” on first listen …
and might rise another spot, if I listen to it enough. Just a phenomenal effort from start to finish
(and the closing sounds, you don’t really see coming). Just a phenomenal effort.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“Since you had to go?
I’ve been on a roller coaster ride!
Up and down I go, over you,
About to lose my mind!”
Grade: A. Loved this
effort.
Track 5: “Talladega”.
Oh Sweet Jesus. Everything I just
said about the track before this one?
Multiply by fifty. This honestly
might be my favorite effort he’s ever done.
Everything – and I mean everything – about this song, works. The sound is great. The lyrics are awesome.
And the sentimental value of said lyrics, what
the story this song is telling, totally hits the mood I’ve been in for the last
few months or so – one of looking back at your favorite moments of life, your “greatest
hits”, and realizing that no matter how things ultimately turned out?
The journey to get here, was worth it.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“Like a storm? Time
rolls on.
You can’t hit pause, as we just did.
Most days in life?
Don’t stand out.
But life’s about those days that will.
Like rocking rando, getting rowdy,
Shooting roman candles at
The man on the moon,
‘Til the Alabama sun was breaking …
Over Talladega! Boys
raise up,
Whiskey in your glass!
Here’s to turning up, slowing down,
And cars that go real fast!
We were laughing and living,
Drinking and wishing, and thinking
As that checkered flag was waving,
Sure would like to stay in Talladega …”
Grade: A+. This is going
in the work playlist like, now.
Track 6: “Broke Record”.
Southern rock sound to open, and throughout. It’s not a bad song. But after the last two efforts, this feels
more like filler, than a potential single.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“Your lips? Your
hips?
When you touch ‘em to mine,
Each and every time,
I’m hypnotized! I’ll
admit it!
Your moves? Your
grooves?
It’s some heavy stuff,
I can’t get enough!
Girl your love’s a drug, I can’t quit it!”
Grade: B-. I wouldn’t
hit fast forward if this popped up on Pandora, but I wouldn’t be searching this
track out either.
Track 7: “Like A Wrecking Ball”. This is just a fun, laid back little tune, a
romantic ballad, if you will. It’s about
love, and romance, and … (lee corso voice) aw, f*ck it!
It’s a song about a dude screwing his girl so hard, that …
well … seriously, you try not to laugh at the visuals, because I couldn’t.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“I’m gonna find out,
What this house is made of!
Been too many nights,
Since it felt us make love!
I wanna rock some sheetrock!
Knock some pictures off the wall!
(I wanna) love you baby,
Like a wrecking ball!”
And …
“That old house?
Is gonna be shaking!
I hope these bricks and boards
Can take it!
But I won’t be surprised,
If the whole damned place just falls!
I’m gonna rock you baby,
Like a wrecking ball!”
What’s that? One
more? (fidelity ad guy voice) Why not!
“And that old house?
Is gonna be shaking!
Rafter rocking;
Foundation quaking!
Crash right through the front door,
Back you up against the wall!
Love you baby,
Take it right there baby!
Rock you baby,
Like a wrecking ball!”
Track 8: “That’s Damn Rock and Roll”. This one actually has an old school Rolling
Stones feel and sound to it, and as someone who finds a way to work as many
Stones classics into the Mixology list as I can get away with (I was up to six
by season end!), I heartily approve.
This one kinda reminds me at times of “Gimme Shelter”, and that’s a good
thing, since it’s either my third or fourth favorite Stones track*. Give this one a listen. I can’t envision it as a single, but it’s
damned good. Because it is damned rock
and roll.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“It ain’t a middle finger on a t-shirt
The establishment’s trying to sell;
It’s a guy with the balls,
Who told the establishment to go to hell.
It ain’t about the money you make,
When a record gets sold;
It’s about doing it for nothing,
‘Cause it lives in your soul.
That’s? Damned rock
and roll!
That’s? Damned rock
and roll!”
Grade: A. Really cool
song.
--------------------
(*: come on, no post of mine is complete without at least
one random sidebar rant. My ten favorite
Stones tracks: 10) “Jumpin Jack Flash”, 9) “Angie” 8) “Miss You”, 7) “Paint It
Black”, 6) “Start Me Up”, 5) “Mother’s Little Helper”, 4) “Gimme Shelter”, 3) “Mixed
Emotions”, 2) “Sympathy for the Devil, 1) “Get Off Of My Cloud”. And now back to the regular portion of these
poorly prepared remarks.)
--------------------
Track 9: “Dark Side”.
You build for forty seconds to the first lyric. And the sound is kinda neat – it definitely
hints at something big coming. Only …
the moment never arrives. This song just
didn’t work for me. To me, this is the
first dud on the “cd”. And it’s a
clunker.
Best / Favorite Lyric: honestly, there wasn’t one.
Grade: D. Not a fan.
Track 10: “Devil, Devil (Prelude: Prince of Darkness)”. I’m not a fan of the word “prelude”. Only this prelude, works. Quite honestly, the first four minutes of this
song (the “prelude”), if you close your eyes, and just listen, you can picture
Coach Taylor standing there in the Dillon or East Dillon locker room, giving
his inspirational speech of the night.
The song itself also lives up to the hype the four minute
prelude sets up. I had my doubts seeing
a nearly nine minute run time. I never
once found myself bored or waiting for this thing to wrap up. That’s the mark of a good song.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“I’ll tell you a well-known secret,
Of a tiny place known far and wide.
The devil walks among us folks,
And Nashville is his bride.
Of all the chaos he has caused and done,
His greatest trick?
Is to every guitar-totin’ dreamer,
The devil don’t exist.
But me? I shook his
hand.
I know that he is real.
So devil? You can
screw yourself,
And then go straight to hell!”
Grade: A for the Prelude, B for the song itself, so I’ll
split the difference and call it a B+.
Track 11: “Give Me Back My Hometown”. If you’re a fan of Mr. Church, you’ve heard
this song. If you haven’t, you’ve missed
out. This is one of Mr. Church’s best
efforts, in a career filled with tens of them at this point. Great sound, love the story the lyrics tell,
and you will too.
Best / Favorite Lyric:
“All the colors of my youth?
The red, the green?
The hope, the truth?
Are beating me black and blue,
‘Cause you’re in every scene.
My friends try to cheer me up;
Get together at the Pizza Hut.
I didn’t have the heart to tell them,
That was our place.
These sleepy streetlights on
Every sidewalk street,
Shed a light on everything
That used to be.
Give me back my hometown.
‘Cause this is my hometown!”
Grade: A. Phenomenal
first single choice.
Track 12: “The Joint”.
Uum, this is not how I would have closed out this “cd”. I’d have flipped this and “Give Me Back My
Hometown”. To bastardize a quote from the
great Dean Wormer: “slow, boring, and pointless is not a good final impression
to a “cd”, son”.
Best / Favorite Lyrics: honestly, none.
Grade: F. I despised
this track.
Final verdict: Only one truly awful track, only two I didn’t
care for, out of twelve. Three A+’s,
three more A’s / A-‘s, plus three B+’s / B’s (along with one C, one D, and one
F).
Spend the money on iTunes or Amazon or whatever your legal provider
of choice is. You won’t regret it.
Overall Grade (Theismann Scale): 12-4, Division Winner,
Wildcard Round Bye, Conference Championship Game Participant. A damned solid “season” for this “cd”.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
stevo's first look at 2014 nfl schedule
“I never knew how complete love could be,
‘Til she kissed me and said baby please,
Go all the way!
It feels so right!
Being with you here tonight!
Please! Go all the way!
Just hold me close!
Don’t ever let me go!
I couldn’t say what I wanted to say,
‘Til she whispered “I love you” so please,
Go all the way!
It feels so right!
Being with you here tonight!
Please! Go all the way!
Just hold me close!
Don’t ever let me go … oh … oh!!!!”
-- “Go All The Way” by the Raspberries. A Mixology Staple for as long as I’m setting
the Mixology playlist. You gotta respect
the great ones …
--------------------
So, the schedule is out.
Sunday, November 30.
7:25pm. Arrowhead Stadium.
Chiefs.
squad of satan’s hordes and demons. (AKA the “denver broncos”.)
Ooh. Ooh. OOH!
Let the fun begin!
Here's my initial look at the schedule. Enjoy?
--------------------
* Week One (Thursday September 4 – Monday September 8).
Byes: none.
Potential “Sur” William Callahan Record*: 0-0.
Chiefs: vs Titans (noon CT Sunday, CBS). A very winnable opener.
Jets: vs raiders (noon CT Sunday, CBS). A very winnable opener.
Best Game On the Board: 49ers at Cowboys (3:25 CT Sunday,
FOX). Even when one of these teams is in
the proverbial crapper, it’s still an instant classic.
Probable “Good Times” Game O’ The Week**: Vikings at Rams (noon CT
Sunday, FOX). There’s ugly, there’s
fugly, and then there’s Vikings!
Rams! Cassel! Bradford!
Only on FOX!!!
Potential “Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week***”: Jaguars at Eagles
(noon CT Sunday, CBS). The NFL record
for points in regulation is 74, margin of victory 73. Both should be in jeopardy by midway through
the third.
Potential “Webster Game O’The Week****”: none.
Sneaky Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December:
Redskins at Texans (noon CT Sunday, CBS).
Neither team is even within five games as awful, as they were last
season. Winner of this one could steal
the six seed in their respective conference.
--------------------
Let’s knock out a few inside baseball jokes right off the
proverbial bat:
* “Sur” William Callahan Record: the record of “Sur” William
Callahan, as in “Surrender” Willy, the former head coach of the once great,
once proud Nebraska Cornhuskers, against that wily ol’ grizzled veteran known
as “bye”, if he coached the team facing “bye” or “idle”.
** Good Times Game O’ The Week: the worst game on the board. Designated because any person with an IQ
above room temperature, would opt for a three hour marathon of “Good Times” on
TV One or TV Land, over catching even a single second of this contest. (Note: this is NOT an endorsement of Good
Times … even if it is my second favorite sitcom of all time.)
*** Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week: the second worst game on the
board. Designated because any person
with an IQ above room temperature, would opt for a three hour marathon of “ALF”
on whatever sh*ttacular network actually offers reruns of “ALF” (note: I
couldn’t find any), over catching even a single second of this contest. (Note: this is NOT an endorsement of “ALF” in
any way, shape, or form. Even if “ALF”
is semi-watchable twenty five years later.)
**** Webster Game O’ The Week: the third worst game on the board. You pray to God kids – every God there was,
there is, or ever will be – that we NEVER have to designate a Webster Game O’
The Week. By now you get the point. And no, this is is NO way, shape, or form, an
endorsement of Webster as a credible source of entertainment. It’s a show starring a midget, a former NFL
star banned from the NFL for gambling, and his ugly as sin real-life wife. Somehow, it lasted multiple seasons!
(late 1980s nbc announcer voice) And now, week two of Stevo’s
look, at the 2014 NFL regular season schedule …
--------------------
* Week Two (Thursday September 11 – Monday September 15).
Byes: none.
Potential “Sur” William Callahan Record: 0-0.
Chiefs: at satan’s squad (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). I am a very firm believer in getting your
guaranteed losses, out of the way, as soon as bleeping possible.
Jets: at Packers (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). I am a very firm believer in getting your
guaranteed losses, out of the way, as soon as bleeping possible.
Best Game On the Board: Chiefs at satan’s squad. A battle for early control of the AFC West.
Probable “Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Texans at raiders (3:25pm
CT Sunday, CBS). You can probably strike
a line through “probable”.
Potential “Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: Jaguars at Redskins
(noon CT Sunday, CBS). You can probably
strike a line through “potential”.
Potential “Webster Game O’ The Week”: Rams at Bucs (3:05pm CT
Sunday, FOX). This is one god-awful
slate of games. So god-awful, I had to
contemplate going four-deep, and hauling out the “oh no! Oh no!
OH NO!!!!!” always dreaded “One Day At A Time Game O’ The Week”.
Sneaky Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December:
“Super” Cardinals at Giants (noon CT Sunday, FOX). Two fringe playoff contenders. Could have wooly mammoth sized wildcard
ramifications.
* Week Three (Thursday September 18 – Monday September 22).
Byes: none.
Potential “Sur” William Callahan Record: 0-0.
Chiefs: at Dolphins (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). Bienvenidos a Miami! (I apologize for the formatting; I typed the linked post above, on the flight home that Sunday morning.)
My only complaint … is that
this game is so early. I was counting –
nay, praying – for an early December trip down.
Still, any weekend spent on a beach, rather than in the primary or
secondary office, is a weekend worth living.
Jets: vs Bears (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN). Let’s all hope Buddy “You’ve Got a Winner In
Town!” Ryan is alert and coherent to watch his son, take on the franchise, that
put him on the map as a coach.
Best
Game On the Board: donkeys at Seahawks (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). If I wasn't planning to be physically present
in whatever the hell they call Joe Robbie Stadium nowadays, I'd be livid at the
Chiefs late start, costing me watching the donkeys get their asses handed to
them all ... day ... long.
Probable
"Good Times Game O' The Week": raiders at Patriots (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). This honestly is the worst game on
the board ... and it isn't that bad.
Potential
"Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week": there aren't any.
Potential
"Webster Game O' The Week": there aren't any. Solid job, schedule dudes!
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: 49ers at
"Super" Cardinals (3:05pm CT Sunday, FOX). A huge, and I mean hu-yuge, early statement
game for your Arizona "Super" Cardinals. Hu-yuge.
*
Week Four (Thursday September 25 - Monday September 29).
Byes:
"Super" Cardinals, Bengals, Browns, satan's squad, Seahawks, Rams.
Potential
"Sur" William Callahan Record: 1-5.
I think "Sur" William's squad could beat Cleveland. But I wouldn't wager a penny of
"Sur" William's multiple severance packages from his previous
employers, on it happening.
Chiefs:
vs Patriots (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN). I
am officially setting the over / under for when The Bus will be parked outside
the gates, honking to get in, at 11:30am.
And I'm taking the under. This
one is going ... hang on, I have to do something this amazing, right. (the great mr. hugh m. hefner voice) This one
is going to be something ... REALLY special!
Jets:
vs Lions (noon CT Sunday, FOX). If the
Jets wet the bed on this one, you can kiss any postseason hopes goodbye.
Best
Game On the Board: Patriots at Chiefs.
Probable
"Good Times Game O' The Week": Jaguars at Chargers (3:05pm CT Sunday,
CBS). I'd suggest the four-parter "Florida's
Homecoming", which opened the sixth and final season of this sitcom. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll find
yourself rooting for a pimp before part four concludes. (And no, that is not a lie -- you will love
Sweet Daddy Williams. Especially his
wardrobe.) Then pick the last two
episodes of the series, "A Matter of Mothers", and "The End of
the Rainbow". That's a three hour
time commitment you won't regret. Unlike
this craptacular game.
Potential
"Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week": Bills at Texans (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). It's not a terrible matchup ...
but unless you're a fan of either squad, are you tuning in for more than a
quick peek? Yeah, I thought so.
Potential
"Webster Game O' The Week": Dolphins at raiders (3:05pm CT Sunday,
CBS). There's at least a puncher's
chance this is a matchup of two 0-3 squads.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Eagles at 49ers (3:25pm
CT Sunday, FOX). OK, it's not sneaky,
and it's not underrated, but this could go a very long way towards determining
who gets a first round bye.
*
Week Five (Thursday October 2 - Monday October 6).
Byes:
Dolphins, raiders.
Potential
"Sur" William Callahan Record: 2-0.
These are two of the worst coached teams in the league. Toss in the fact that the raiders haven't
finished better than .500 since "Sur" William was calling his own
squad "the dumbest team in America", and I think Little Willy C can
improve to 3-5 against bye on the season.
Chiefs:
at 49ers (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). I'm in
the minority, but I don't think this is an easy win for San Francisco.
Jets:
at Chargers (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). I'm
in the minority, but I think this is an easy win for San Diego.
Best
Game On the Board: Bengals at Patriots (7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). Could go a very long way towards determining
playoff seeding.
Probable
"Good Times Game O' The Week": Browns at Titans (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). Might I suggest the season five
four parter, "The Evans Get Invovled", to start your three hours of
viewing? You'll laugh, you'll cry,
you'll never look at an iron the same way.
Oh, and you'll meet this really cute little girl making her major acting
debut. Somebody by the name of Janet Jackson. I'm sure nothing ever became of her career,
but still, she's cute to look at. And to
fill hour three, I'd suggest the two parter to open season four, "The Big
Move". Especially for the ending to
part two, which is one of the all-time classic scenes, in television history.
Potential
"Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week": Vikings at Packers (7:30pm CT
Thursday, CBS / NFLN). One of the few
outright stinkers on the Thursday schedule.
Potential
"Webster Game O' The Week": Bills at Lions (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). Friends and family day at Ford
Field!
Potential
"One Day At A Time Game O' The Week": "Super" Cardinals at
satan's squad (3:05pm CT Sunday, FOX).
Hey! A battle of jake "the
fake" plummer's former employers!
How spectacular!
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Bucs at Saints (noon CT
Sunday, FOX). The Bucs always give the
Saints fits, especially in the Dome.
*
Week Six (Thursday October 9 - Sunday October 13).
Byes:
Chiefs, Saints.
Potential
"Sur" William Callahan Record: yeah, right. Like Ol' Billy Callahan is beating either
Andy Reid or Sean Payton at anything.
"Sur" William's Record versus bye falls to 3-7.
Chiefs:
bye week. The season's saddest week.
Jets:
vs satan's squad (noon CT Sunday, CBS).
I'm guessing I won't be the only Chiefs fan wearing a Jets cap and
t-shirt for this one.
Best
Game On the Board: Panthers at Bengals (noon CT Sunday, FOX). There's a few really solid matchups --
Cowboys at Seahawks, 'Skins at "Super" Cards, Patriots at Bills --
but this one's the benchmark.
Probable
"Good Times Game O' The Week": Jaguars at Titans (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). Don Criqui Alert! Don Criqui Alert!
Potential
"Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week": none.
Potential
"Webster Game O' The Week": none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Colts at Texans (7:30pm
CT Thursday, CBS / NFLN). I don't think
the Texans are all that bad. I don't
think this is a playoff team, but this is a team that can spring an upset at
Reliant. And since the Colts figure to
be in a tight three-team race for home field (with the Patriots and satan's
squad), they cannot afford even the slightest trip-up.
*
Week Seven (Thursday October 16 – Monday October 20).
Byes:
Eagles, Bucs.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: he ain’t beating Lovie or Chippie. Bringing “Sur” William’s Farewell Tour
against that grizzled ol’ veteran known as “bye” to a staggering 3-9. Or a typical “Sur” William resume enhancing
season. Throat slash away, Billy. Throat slash away.
Chiefs:
at Chargers (3:05pm CT Sunday, CBS). A
game with ridiculously sick postseason ramifications, on a lot of levels.
Jets:
at Patriots (7:30pm CT Thursday, CBS / NFLN).
A game with potentially ridiculously sick postseason ramifications, at
least for the Jets.
Best
Game On the Board: 49ers at satan’s squad (7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). The last time the 49ers rolled into fake mile
high, they spotted those demons a 13-0 lead … before fighting back, fighting back, fighting back, and, well, then this happened.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Browns at Jaguars (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Steve Buere”lein King” Alert! Steve Buere”lein King” Alert! Steve Buere”lein King” Alert!
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: Vikings at Bills (noon CT Sunday, FOX). (Sighing …) No. I am not giving you an "ALF" programming guide, to spend your three hours. It is NOT happening.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: Titans at the Fightin’ Wahoos of the Potomac (noon
CT Sunday, CBS). RGIII! Locker!
Harlan! Wilcots! Feel the excitement! Only on … CBS! (Because this sure as all hell isn’t getting
flexed into the prime time slot.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Seahawks at Rams (noon
CT Sunday, FOX). Calling the Rams the
best last place team in the NFL (which is true), is a bit like calling the
Mizzou Tigers the third best team in the SEC for basketball (which is probably
true). It’s about as ball-punching a
comment, as one can make.
*
Week Eight (Thursday October 23 – Monday October 27).
Byes:
Giants, 49ers.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: another week, another oh-fer. “Sur” William’s Record After Eight Weeks:
3-11. My God, how I wish I’d saved my
running diary of “The Bill Callahan Show” from the week after the “Spirit of ‘76” or the “Surrender of the Century”, whichever you prefer, that was up on "The Herm".
Because anyone who read it can confirm -- it was priceless.
When the “Cock of the Walk!”, our good buddy
Ol’ Jim Rose, asks “Sur” Willy a question about how eight defenders could miss
on a simple screen pass that Kerry Meier turned into a 60 plus yard touchdown,
Billy Boy stammers for a solid twenty seconds, then just barely audibly says “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” (arnold jackson voice) What you talkin’
‘bout, Willis? We ALL know why, “Sur”
William. We ALL know why. (Hint: look in the mirror …)
Chiefs:
vs Rams (noon CT Sunday, FOX). I hate to
call this a “must win”, but given the schedule the Chiefs face? In the words of former* Stevo’s Site Numero
Dos’ Official NFL Color Commentator, Dan Dierdorf, “it would behoove the
Chiefs, to win this game!”
Jets:
vs Bills (noon CT Sunday, CBS). I can
hardly wait to see how we lose this one.
Best
Game On the Board: Packers at Saints (7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). I might need a drool guard for this one.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: raiders at Browns (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). Wait, what?
CBS threw this into a national slot?
My God in heaven, won’t SOMEONE please think of the children!
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: Vikings at Bucs (noon CT Sunday, FOX). To bastardize the words of the great Joe
Spano from “Apollo 13”: “It all depends on the quarterbacks”.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Bears at Patriots (noon
CT Sunday, FOX). I don’t think the Pats
are going to be all that and a bag of weed.
I do think the Bears are winning the NFC Norris comfortably. Potential statement game for the Monsters of
the Midway.
--------------------
(*:
Mr. Dierdorf is now Stevo’s Site Numero Dos’ Official NFL Color Commentator
(Emeritus). We’re accepting applications
for his replacement. (Pause). Don’t even think about it, Mr. Tasker.)
--------------------
*
Week 9 (Thursday October 30 – Monday November 3).
Byes:
“Shane Falco”ns, Bills, Bears, Lions, Packers, Titans.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: No, No, No, Yes, Maybe, No. What the hell, we’ll turn maybe to a
tie. Because every sh*ttacular coach
deserves a tie on his record. (I’m
looking at you, Mr. Frank Gansz Senior.)
So that make “Sur” William now a staggering 4-15-1, with twelve games in
the “Fond Farewell Tour” to go.
Chiefs:
vs Jets (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Oh boy.
Jets:
at Chiefs (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Oh God.
Best
Game On the Board: satan’s squad at Patriots (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). Can we just go ahead and set the scene? Jim Nantz will spend four hours verbally
fellating satan manning and Tom Brady like he was a porn star trying to break
into the biz. Phil Simms will spend four
hours spouting off utter nonsense, contradicting himself more than I do, and
just generally being an insufferable arrogant horse’s ass. And whatever sideline babette they throw the
mic to a couple times, will present nothing of value, because neither beelzebub
fox or Bill Belichick are stupid enough to share anything of value, because
both of them probably have assistants watching the broadcast of the game, then
sending down via the headset what the opposition said.
And
somehow, this will earn CBS an Emmy. I
swear to God, you put me, my buddy Gregg, give us my buddy Brett as the third
man comedy relief, and some random hottie we pick out fifteen minutes before
kickoff because she flashed us, and let us just be us on the broadcast? Well, the FCC would have a field day with
us. Hell, that one broadcast might pay
off at least 2% of the national debt.
But – but – I guarantee you, NOBODY would miss the encore.
Let’s
just move on.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Bucs at Browns (noon CT Sunday, FOX). You can cross out the word “probable” with
fifty five Sharpies at this point.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: raiders at Seahawks (3:25pm CT Sunday,
CBS). As my dad would note: “this should
be an ass kicking of Biblical proportions”.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: Jaguars at Bengals (noon CT Sunday, CBS). I can smell the stink from 650 miles away.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Rams at 49ers (3:05pm
CT Sunday, FOX). For some reason, the
Rams are the one team that frustrate Jim Harbaugh to no end. It hasn’t mattered the last couple
years. It might this season.
*
Week Ten (Thursday November 6 – Monday November 10).
Byes:
Texans, Colts, Vikings, Patriots, “Super” Chargers, Redskins.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: hang on.
I don’t even know who the hell the Vikings head coach is. Give me a second here. Whoa, Mike Zimmer finally got a head
gig? Hot diggity damn, it’s about
time! So, my picks would be No, No, No,
Hell No, Maybe, and No. Let’s convert
Maybe into a “Yes” this time. Bringing
His Surrendercy to an astounding 5-20-1, with six games left in his tenure.
Chiefs:
at Bills (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Same bat
time, same bat channel, as 2013 – first Sunday in November, at The Ralph.
Jets:
vs Steelers (noon CT Sunday, CBS). This
rarely ends well.
Best
Game On the Board: 49ers at Saints (noon CT Sunday, FOX). These two former divisional rivals, always
stage a classic.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Honestly?
There’s not a dud on the board.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: none.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Rams at Cardinals
(3:25pm CT Sunday, FOX). Won’t receive
the hype that Giants / Seahawks will opposite this on the FOX broadcast window,
but this game could be hu-yuge, for the six seed.
*
Week Eleven (Thursday November 13 – Monday November 17).
Byes:
Ravens, Cowboys, Jaguars, Jets.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: L, L, L, and L.
5-24-1, with two to play.
Chiefs:
vs Seahawks (noon CT Sunday, FOX). For
those writing this one off as impossible?
The last time the Seahawks reached the Super Bowl? They played in KC to a huge underdog Chiefs team … and lost by a touchdown (35-28, Week 8 2006). Just sayin’.
Jets:
bye. I’m personally torn on when I
prefer the bye. If my team is really
struggling with injuries (think 2006 Chiefs), I want it as early as possible. (That week three bye saved that team’s
ass.) If my team is relatively healthy,
I want it as late as possible, to get a breather before the stretch run.
Best
Game On the Board: Patriots at Colts (7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). Let me assure you – Colts fans HATE the
Patriots, almost as much as I hate the denver broncos.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Texans at Browns (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Two franchises going nowhere anytime
soon. (Pause). What?
(Pause). I haven’t yet? Well, sumbeach! HIT IT!
(cue
theme song music)
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: Bucs at ‘Skins (noon CT Sunday, FOX). To once again quote the great Joe Spano from
“Apollo 13”: “It all comes down to the quarterbacks”.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Game That Will Matter Come December: Bengals at Saints (noon CT
Sunday, CBS). A really solid
inter-conference matchup between two teams that have routinely made the
playoffs the last three, four seasons.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a sentence NOONE ALIVE IN 2000, EVER
IMAGINED, would be said about these two squads.
*
Week Twelve (Thursday November 20 – Monday November 24).
Byes:
Panthers, Steelers.
Potential
“Sur” William Callahan Record: L, L.
Leaving Ol’ Willy C with a 5-26-1 mark against “bye”. Come back next year to see if I’ll act like
99.2% of the owners in the NFL would, and fire his ass from this column … or
act like the late, never great William Clay Ford, who once justified Wayne “Rasputin” Fontes’ return as head coach by noting “well, I didn’t fire him, and
he didn’t offer to quit, so I guess he’ll be back”. Now THAT’S leadership!
Chiefs:
at raiders (7:30pm CT Thursday, NFLN).
If you have to draw a short week after facing the defending champs …
could you draw this up any better? I
mean, our road opponents this year were guaranteed to be the “Super” Cardinals,
49ers, Steelers, Dolphins, Bills, satan’s squad, “Super” Chargers, and
raiders. Of those eight, if you had to
pick one to play not even 110 hours after doing battle with the Seahawks, who
would you pick?
And
as if that isn’t good enough? Guess what
playing this (should be) victory three days early means?
Three
extra days of rest, and preparation, for … hang on, I refuse to be premature
anywhere other than with a really, really hot chica who’s into it big time.
Jets:
at Bills (noon CT Sunday, CBS). The
Ralph is our house of horrors. This will
not be pretty.
Best
Game On the Board: I’m gonna take a flyer for once – “Super” Cardinals at
Seahawks (3:05pm CT Sunday, FOX).
There’s a lot of decent matchups, but give Arizona this – they’re the
only team to win in Seattle in nearly three years. This could be vital to their playoff hopes
and dreams.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Browns at Falcons (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Yikes.
Hide the friends and family; don’t make them suffer through this.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: none.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: Packers at Vikings
(noon CT Sunday, FOX). The Vikes always
give Green Bay at game at home. Curious
to see how the move outdoors, affects this matchup in the Twin Cities.
*
Week Thirteen (Thursday November 27 – Monday December 1).
Chiefs:
vs broncos (7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). In
the interest of full disclosure, every year, I pick the Chiefs to host the
broncos on Thanksgiving Night. Since,
after all, denver at KC was the first Thanksgiving Night game eight years
ago. From 2007-2011, never came within a
week of happening. 2012? denver at KC, high noon, Thanksgiving weekend
Sunday. 2013? denver at KC, 3:25pm CBS national slot, Thanksgiving
weekend Sunday. 2014? denver at KC, prime time national television.
You’re
welcome.
Also,
for what it’s worth, the last time the Chiefs faced denver in weeks 2 (at
denver) and 13 (here)? 2006. All that happened that week 13? Pick the one that didn’t:
1.
jake “the fake” plummer took his final NFL snap.
2.
The jay cutler era began.
3.
The donkeys proceeded to drop 3 of 5 (4 of 6 if you count a dead cornerback),
to miss the playoffs on tiebreakers to … the Chiefs, because of the
Thanksgiving night win.
The
answer: 4. None of the above. They all happened.
Jets:
vs Dolphins (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN).
Dan Marino Fake Spike Alert! Dan Marino Fake Spike Alert! Dan Marino Fake Spike Alert!
Best
Game On the Board: Seahawks at 49ers (7:30pm CT Thursday, NBC). Fine, fine, fine – let the West Coast have
the fun on Turkey Day. I’d rather sleep
it off on company time anyway.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Browns at Bills (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Seriously, other than Detroit and possibly
oakland, is there any more depressing word(s) in the English language than
“Buffalo” or “Cleveland”?
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: none.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Matchup That Will Matter Come December: it’s isn’t sneaky, but
it’ll be good – Patriots at Packers (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). Roger and Diane better have the damned
satellite dish working during tailgating.
This one is too good to miss.
*
Week Fourteen (Thursday December 4 – Monday December 8).
Chiefs:
at “Super” Cardinals (3:05pm CT Sunday, CBS).
I know this is a PSA thirteen years running, but kids? Trust your crazy drunk uncle on this one. If you find yourself sharing a room with some
friends on a road trip for whatever reason, and just for sh*ts and giggles,
let’s say you’re going to a Chiefs / “Super” Cardinals game in the desert the
next day. And you decide to all share a
room, to save some money, because let’s face it, in your early 20s, money isn’t
usually free flowing.
So,
if you happen to be sharing a room with some friends at a Super 8 – and again,
just for sh*ts and giggles, let’s say it’s in the greater Tempe area – and you
find yourself and your significant other feeling ridiculously frisky, and feel
like a romp in the loo, to cure what ails you?
Entering
a bathroom at said Super 8, and turning on the shower, while you take Marvin
Gaye literally and decide “let’s get it on”?
Does NOT drown out the sounds, of you enjoying one of life’s finest
moments, from the other occupants of your hotel room.
(cheezy
early 1990s nbc promo voice) The more you know!
(Note:
the above PSA may … or may not … have been warranted due to events that
occurred during a road trip to the Chiefs / “Super” Cardinals game in
2001. You decide. (Pause).
What? (Pause). Well of COURSE I wasn’t the one getting his
groove on in the godd*mned bathroom!
Seriously? Do you not know me at
all? (keyshawn johnson voice) Come on,
man!)
Jets:
at Vikings (noon CT Sunday, CBS).
Probably a loss.
Best
Game On the Board: Cowboys at Bears (7:30pm CT Thursday, NFLN). Could have gigantic playoff implications.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Bills at donkeys (3:05pm CT Sunday, CBS). Thank God we’re spared from watching this in
the KC media market. Good Lord, satan
manning is gonna use the Bills as his own personal urinal.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: 49ers at raiders (3:25pm CT Sunday,
FOX). What’s the over / under on
casulaties in the stands, 526? 598? I’m taking the over, no matter what it is.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: Falcons at Packers (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN). One of the very few duds ESPN got. This is going to be ugly.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Game That Will Matter Come December: Patriots at Chargers
(7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). I’d also throw
Seattle’s only cross-country trip, to Philly (3:25pm CT Sunday, FOX), into the
“sneaky good underrated game” category as well.
*
Week Fifteen (Thursday December 11 – Monday December 15).
Chiefs:
vs raiders (noon CT Sunday, CBS). The
Chiefs have beaten the raiders twice at Arrowhead, since Richard A. Vermeil
retired: 2006 … and last year. They HAVE
to have this one.
Jets:
at Titans (3:05pm CT Sunday, CBS).
Sneaky good underrated game of the week?
Best
Game On the Board: Saints at Bears (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN). Hear me out on this. The Bears get back to back prime time games,
in Chicago, IN DECEMBER for God’s sake … and they get eleven days between
them? Against teams they’re highly
likely to be fighting for playoff positioning with? Someone’s leading a charmed life.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Vikings at Lions (noon CT Sunday, FOX). (good ol’ jr voice) My God, the carnage!
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: Bengals at Browns (noon CT Sunday,
CBS). Does anything else really need to
be said?
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Game That Will Matter Come December: demons at Chargers (3:05pm
CT Sunday, CBS). The division turned
last year on the fact that denver won out there, and we didn’t. Huge game for three teams, at least, in the
AFC West in this one, only two of whom are on the field of play.
*
Week Sixteen (Thursday December 18 – Monday December 22).
Chiefs:
at Steelers (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Whoa,
a Steelers / Chiefs game NOT in prime time?
The last time that happened?
2009. (Pause). Hey, that worked out well!
Jets:
vs Patriots (noon CT Sunday, CBS). As
the late, great Leo McGarry would note: “a long night awaits us all”.
Best
Game On the Board: broncos at Bengals (7:30pm CT Monday, ESPN). What an epic finish to “MNF”. This one should have GIGANTIC playoff
implications. Hell, this one is so huge,
I actually called the visiting team, by its proper name!
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: Bills at raiders (3:25pm CT Sunday, CBS). Guessing 92.85% of the country gets Colts /
Cowboys instead, in the national CBS window.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The Week”: none.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Game That Will Matter Come December: Seahawks at Cardinals
(7:30pm CT Sunday, NBC). Kudos to NBC
(and the schedule gurus) for giving this one a chance. Yes, granted, NBC has the flex system to save
its ass if the “Super” Cardinals flop … but ten years ago? Not a chance in hell this was your final “scheduled”
Sunday nighter. This is why I love the
flex system – not because it guarantees you one amazing game every Sunday
(because it doesn’t – it guarantees you whatever Fred Gaudelli is obsessed with
at the moment (*cough 2010 Vikings Brett Favre cough *) … but because it allows
the League and its biggest rights payer, to take chances on matchups that you
look at and say “you know what, if this breaks this way, and this breaks that
way, this could REALLY be epic”. It
gives you a failsafe.
I
hope this game not only matters, but matters enough to stay exactly where it is
on the schedule, with not even a thought of moving it. As a fan of a smaller populated metropolitan
area, who whizzes away a couple thousand dollars every year on season tickets,
parking, tailgating, and Jacked Ups!, as well as a roadie or three to support
that team? I WANT the little guys to
succeed! I want a denver at KC matchup
on Thanksgiving weekend to not just be given the prime time slot, but earn
it! Ditto this one. Come on, “Super” Cardinals! Do your part!
(Except
on week fourteen. Don’t show up that
week. Thanks, your pal, Stevo.)
*
Week Seventeen (Sunday, December 28).
Chiefs:
vs Chargers (noon CT Sunday, CBS). I
nailed this one on the spot in my dream schedule. Let’s just see how I did.
(Key:
Week: My Pick, Actual Game).
Week
One: vs Jets, vs Titans. Had them
reversed.
Week
Two: at raiders, at broncos. Whiff.
Week
Three: at broncos, at Dolphins. Whiff.
Week
Four: vs Rams, vs Patriots. Whiff.
Week
Five: at Steelers, at 49ers. Whiff.
Week
Six: vs Patriots, bye. Whiff.
Week
Seven: at Bills, at Chargers. Whiff.
Week
Eight: bye, vs Rams. Whiff.
Week
Nine: vs Titans, vs Jets. Had them
reversed.
Week
Ten: vs Seahawks, at Bills. Whiff.
Week
Eleven: at Chargers, vs Seahawks. Whiff.
Week
Twelve: at Cardinals, at raiders. Whiff.
Week
Thirteen: vs broncos, vs broncos.
DING! DING! DING!
Week
Fourteen: at Dolphins, at Cardinals.
Whiff.
Week
Fifteen: at 49ers, vs raiders. Whiff.
Week
Sixteen: vs raiders, at Steelers. Whiff.
Week
Seventeen: vs Chargers, vs Chargers.
DING! DING! DING!
So,
I got 2 of 16 games nailed, was off by a week on three others (at donkeys, vs
Seahawks, vs raiders), and flip-flopped the Jets / Titans home game picks. Not too shabby, if I may say so. And since it’s my site, I may!
Jets:
at Dolphins (noon CT Sunday, CBS). Could
very well be a “winner’s in, loser’s out” scenario. Jets at Dolphins to end the regular season
for the second straight year (Jets ended the Dolphins season last year via the
upset in Miami).
Best
Game On the Board: I suppose I’m obligated to say Cowboys at Redskins (noon CT
Sunday, FOX), since four of the last five Sunday night closers flexed in, have
featured Dallas vs a NFC East Opponent, to win the division (W 2009 vs Philly,
L 2011 at Giants, L 2012 at Redskins, L 2013 at Philly). The exception to the rule being … Rams at
Seahawks (3:25pm CT Sunday, FOX), which was your NFC West championship game in
2010. (Your other defacto divisional
title game was 2008, San Diego over denver at The Murph.)
But
honestly, the one game I have circled with a gigantic “this is gonna be epic, I
don’t know why, I just think it is” circle is … Saints at Bucs (noon CT Sunday,
FOX). Not so much for the Bucs. I just think the Saints will enter in a “win
and you’re in” position … and will choke, as they usually do in Tampa. We’ll see.
Probable
“Good Times Game O’ The Week”: none. It’s
the last week of the season.
Potential
“Gordon Shumway Game O’ The week”: none.
It’s the last week of the season.
Potential
“Webster Game O’ The Week”: none. It’s
the last week of the season.
Sneaky
Good Underrated Game That Will Matter Come December: let’s all hope and pray,
it’s ALL of them, in week seventeen.
Don’t
know when the next NFL centric post will go up, but probably before the draft,
either detailing my hopes and dreams for the Chiefs pick that never actually
happen … or the 2014 NFL Coaches Power Poll.
Hell, maybe I’ll get a lil’ frisky myself, and post both …
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