Thursday, April 10, 2014

thursday april 10: (the great blackie sherrod voice) scattershooting while ...

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Holy Toledo, Batman!  Two posts in a week!  What is this, 2008 all over again?

I made a promise at the beginning of this year, that I would post more, that I’d make this site the “not even remotely unless I’m taking a fifteen minute dump in the second office” time filler it once was in its prime.  

And I have epically failed in that promise so far.

In my defense, I have been overloaded at work, I have had to devote a lot of my free time to family stuff I didn’t have to do seven months ago, and quite frankly, I haven’t felt much like writing. 

But, in the last month, I finally had help hired.  Yay!  Even if I only get Dusti in brief spurts initially?  I’ll take it.  She freed up three days of work for me this week, and it’s only Thursday.  Here’s how overloaded I’ve been: I finally replied to a reinsurer’s query … from November 2013, that’s how backloaded my inbox is.  (The reinsurer’s response at hearing from me?  “I honestly figured you’d been let go with the other people your company lost.”  Oy.)

I finally made a decision regarding the biggest frustration in my life, and while it’s not an easy decision to make, I’ve made it, and I’m not going back on it.  If there’s one thing that irritates me more than anything else in life … well, it’s rank hypocrisy.  But other than that, it’s people that won’t own their decisions.  I choose to own mine.  So that lovely little decision drops in the mail in a few weeks. 

Plus, let’s be honest – when the weather starts warming up, you always feel better!  Penny and I were in near shock walking out of the bowling alley last night – the sun was out!  You didn’t need to put on five layers and sprint 50 feet in a driving sleet / snow mix to the car!  Good times!

So, in memory of Stevo’s Site Numero Dos’ favorite sports columnist of all time, the great Blackie Sherrod, let’s go scattershooting a lil’ bit, on this fine Thursday evening …

* I think the reason I haven’t been motivated to write, is because I feel the need to produce something epic every time at this point.  That isn’t what this site was founded to be.  This was founded to be a reaction to life, with the occasional long-winded novel thrown in from time to time.  Seriously, go back and read the stuff from 2008, versus 2012 or 2013.  It’s time to get back to basics.  It’s time to focus on the little things in life, that make life worth living.  I’ll try to do better about this.  Even if it’s just a quick little picture, a quick take on something, or a “Stevo’s hacked and needs to melt down somewhere” moment of pure entertainment.

* It truly is a tradition unlike any other, and man, do I love Masters week.  I knew, coming into today, that I had meetings at 9, 10, and 1, each for an hour.  I got drug into one at 11, and drug into a conference call at 2.  I could barely hide my disgust at times, at getting drug away from the live feed from Amen Corner.  In fact, a little before 3, my boss approaches my desk, and after we discuss a few things pending on the day for maybe five, six minutes, this actual conversation occurred:

(my boss) I really came over, because I need to know – do you think you can cover this 3pm (meeting) for me?
(stevo) (visibly pissed off) Why? 
(my boss) Whoa!  You got something already, I can shift some stuff around!  Didn’t mean to piss you off!
(stevo) No, it’s not you.  I just … (thinking of excuse) … have stuff … (trying to sell it) … I should be working on.
(my boss) (looks at my laptop behind me)
(my boss) Mickelson’s three over already? 
(stevo) WHAT!  He was even when this conversation started!!!

I know, I know – count my blessings.

* Then again, I’ve known my boss for pushing fifteen years now.  She was a former boss at TA.  And she … well, as my buddy Heath has noted before: “she’s the perfect boss when you’re dealing with a hangover”.  I’ve been blessed enough in life, to have two bosses, I felt perfectly fine calling in drunk with.  My current boss, is one of them.  (Lucy is the other.  And, gun to my head, there’s no way, there’s no bleeping way, Stan DIDN’T know at least 54.78% of my call in sick days, were “Mary pissed me off so much, I drank myself senseless last night” days.)

* Plus, half the fun of a major tournament, is me and "The Voice of Reason" exchanging emails, as we're both bailing on work, to watch the (hootie johnson voice) toonumunt, on company time.  (Pause).  Yeah, it was much more fun, when both of us were "stealing" our paycheck, that day.  Still, it never gets old.

* Speaking of traditions unlike any other … did y’all see the Chiefs preseason opponents are out?  And that the Chiefs open, at Arrowhead, the weekend of August 7-10, against the Bengals?  (They also play a national TV contest at Carolina on August 17th, then host the Vikings the week of the 21st-24th, then close at Green Bay on Thursday August 28th.)

Uum, how to put this delicately.  Unless the Bengals game is on August 7th (and if it is, I might march on One Arrowhead Drive with a noose and pitchfork) … then this first preseason game?

Is going to be something, we haven’t gotten to enjoy, since the season opener in 2010.  A little something, known as … wait for it …

… Double Header Day.

Because the Royals are home the 8th, the 9th, and 10th, against (I believe) the Giants.

Why, you ask, is Double Header Day legen … wait for it … dary?

* Speaking of the Boyz N Blue, 4-4 is not a bad place to be.  Especially with the two worst teams (on paper) in the American League, slated for the next nine.

* We’re doing the (Insert Ounce Here) Tailgate this summer, if it kills me.  (my liver voice) Yo!  You’re doing a damned good job of that already!

And if only because, if it worked once, why can't it work again ...

* Third funniest moment of today: in my 9am meeting (which was just with my immediate area of the department), my boss notes that Dale gave up a PTO day for Good Friday, to come in for some testing for our FileNet (long overdue) upgrade.  One of the people in there makes a comment that it’s OK, God won’t hold it against him.  Let’s just say, every person in the room, burst into laughter … because he wasn’t planning to take Good Friday off, as a day of religious reflection.  Which reminds me ...

* A fond farewell to my former co-worker Linda, who saved my ass at least fifty eight times the last (God, almost) ten years in this job.  She retired last week.  And man, she will be missed.  When the "the company is chipping in for many departing gifts, but feel free to add to the pot" email went out about a month ago?  I thought giving $20 was a nice gesture on my part.  (Note: you gotta love how corporate America, reduces your true feelings for what your co-workers do, to extortion emails.)

I'm guessing, by the impressive haul she got, my $20 was like actually believing the dude in front of the liquor store who swears he needs the fifty cents for the bus, and giving it to him.

* And as someone who takes the Metro to and from work nearly every day?  It's $1.50 to get on the damned thing.  Stop being so gullible, people of Kansas City!

* Or place demands on giving to those "less fortunate", that I do.  If you're standing in front of, and just for sh*ts and giggles, let's just say, "Grand Slam Liquors", like that place exists, ok?  If you're standing in front of "Grand Slam Liquors" off of 9th and Grand, and you ask for a couple bucks for the Bus?  I'm turning you down.

You approach me, and say "hey, man, I'm jonesing out here, can you spare $3 for a 40(oz)?"

I'll give you a $5, and not ask for change back.

Because I represent (not quite, but damned close to it) Alcoholic Nation, like that.

* And man, we lose Kathy in two months to retirement too.  Those two ladies, seriously folks, and even "The Champ" would have to side with me on this -- and I think at this point, if DJ and I were to throw down in a classic 007 slappers battle?  We'd each b*tch slap each other to death -- even "The Champ" would have to admit, Linda and Kathy saved many an ass in (his former, my current) department, over the last ten years.  

* Oh, yeah -- the classless cheap shots that demean the conversation, and totally cede the high road away, to the people I'm pissed off at in life?  They're returning too.  "Deal with it!"

* I truly love, and I mean love, how much fun writing is, when you just don't give a sh*t anymore.  No wonder the great Blackie Sherrod was so great at this -- get enough bourbon or whiskey or Yellow Tail in someone, they can spout off semi-coherent, "only failed five Word spell-check" error-riddled writing like it's nothing!

(In all seriousness, I wrote this riding home tonight on said Metro.  It's a 35 minute commute.  It took me longer to pull in the links, than to compose this.  I think I'm proud of that?)

* Second funniest moment of today: my co-worker Geoff (who heads this committee I’m on as part of the Team Spirit crap I’ve been forced at virtual gunpoint happily and voluntarily agreed to be a part of), had noted in our meeting on Tuesday, that “you watch – we’ll spend thirty f*cking minutes Thursday, deciding which sandwiches to serve!”  Sure as sh*t, it took almost 30 minutes to eliminate the chicken salad sandwich (BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!), and replace it with a salad (BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!).  

As someone who eats a chicken salad sandwich at least twice a week (and would five times a week if June still made them – I like the new sandwich lady in the cafeteria … but she ain’t June), that decision made me frustrated.  But what the hell, turkey tastes at least 12.43% as good, as a quality chicken salad sandwich.

So after the meeting, we ride the elevator back up to 5, and he notes on the ride up “what’d I say on Tuesday?  You know what?  This world would be better, if men made every decision.  We might f*ck all of them up, but at least we’d make them!” 

* Something I've meant to say for awhile: for what it's worth?  

Gov. Granholm at the DNC in 2012, might be my favorite political speech ever, other than Al Gore's acceptance speech, at the 2000 DNC.

Because that speech?  Is what being a Democrat, USED ... to mean.

* So today’s funniest moment?  Leslie, a member of our Spirit committee, looks at me in the middle of this “debate” over what types of sandwiches to serve at next week’s event, and this conversation occurs:

(leslie) You know, I love your hair.
(stevo) (doesn’t realize she’s referencing me).
(stevo) Wait, what?
(leslie) I love how it looks.
(stevo) Well, thanks?
(leslie) How long does that take you (to do up)?
(stevo) Most days?  Fifteen seconds.  If I can’t get the part to stay down, possibly seventeen.
(leslie) It just looks good!

I should note: other than when I shave most of it off at times?  I’ve had the same damned hairstyle since I was in high school … and not once – not one single time – has a single person complimented said hair style.  No ex-girlfriend, no one-night stand, no casual encounter, not even some random person on the street, has ever complimented my hair.  Even my mommy hasn’t done that.  I think that matters?  Or no?

(Although she did rip the “shave it off” style, noting when I started growing it back out that “at least you don’t look like an Auschwitz survivor anymore”.  Wait a moment … that wasn’t a compliment, was it?  Sonofa…)

* And how was "Sonofa", never a middle name used, on "How I Met Your Mother"?

* Final note for the night:

Feel free to leave a comment every now and then.  Feel free to hit me up on Twitter (@teamtito15), Email (teamtito15@ (pick one) Yahoo or Gmail), or in the comments.  Sometimes, the egomaniacal maniac in me, needs his ego stroked.  Rip me when a post sucks.  I’m a big boy; I can take it.  No, really – I stopped sucking my thumb like four weeks ago, so I’m totally grown up now.  Praise a post if you like it.  (Note: I can really take those.  I love verbal fellation.  Hell, you can remove “verbal” from that sentence?  And it’s STILL!!! 100% factually representative of the views and opinions of the owner, operator, and primary contributor of this site!!!)

And sometimes?  I have nothing better to do, than scattershoot. 

Going forward?  That’s going to be enough, to write.

I sorta, kinda, possibly, don’t-hold-it-against-me-if-I-fail … promise.

Because unlike Barney Stinson?

This site doesn’t have an official Ring Bear … er ...


Anonymous said...

NFL schedule comes out next week and we haven's seen your "dream" schedule yet....WTF?

stevo! said...

already posted, three months ago:

Nice try.

the third thursday thirteen ...

"So you're dancing on the ocean -- Running fast, along the sand. A spirit born, of earth and water -- Fire flying from your hand...