Saturday, April 25, 2015

chiefs 2015 schedule: the initial reaction ...

"Damn!  I used to love this view.
I’d sit here and drink a few.
Main Street and the high school,
Lit up on Friday night.

Down there?  It’s another touchdown!
Man, this year’s team is stout!
I can hear them going crazy –
And up here?  So am I.

Think about you sitting there
Saying I hate this, I hate it?
If you couldn’t stand living here,
Then why’d you take it?  Take it?

Give!
Me!
Back!
My!
Hometown!

Cause this is my?
Hometown! …”


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Happy final weekend of April, peoples and peepettes!  I know this is a few days overdue, but here’s my initial look at the 2015 Chiefs schedule.  

Enjoy?

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Week One: at Houston Texans, Sunday September 13, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: hell yes, I will be there.  As will my “good friend” 13!




(note: I never miss a road game in my adopted home state.  (The Chiefs are guaranteed to play three of them over the next three seasons – at Houston in 2015 (at AFC South), at Houston in 2016 (flip from 2013 vs AFC South), and at Dallas in 2017 (flip from 2013 vs NFC East).  And how great is it, that exactly one month from today, The Pool officially opens for business?  Circle me really, really happy Bert!)

(Also, image credit: me, via my iPhone.)

I suspect a great number of Chiefs fans are going to be there along with me.  This is a huge, and I mean huge, season opener for the Chiefs.  Considering what the next two contests are, you can almost make an argument this is as close to a must-win opener as you’ll ever see.  I won’t go that far – no game in September is “must win” unless you drop to 0-3 (because only one team in NFL history has rallied from worse than 0-3, to make the playoffs, your 1992 San Diego “Blooper” Chargers).

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: stepping outside the hotel doors at whatever the hotel in Reliant’s parking lot is (I think it’s a Hilton, but it might be Marriott; it’s been five years people), and my sunglasses immediately fog up, because I’ll go from a 68 and air conditioned atmosphere, to a 91 and humid as hell one … at seven in the morning. 


Also, we’ll know right away if the offensive line issues have been at least somewhat dealt with.  JJ Watt, Vince Wilfolk, and Jadeveon Clowney will either be somewhat neutralized … or Alex Smith is in for a long afternoon.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: that the tab at Willie G’s on Saturday night will top $300, that at least eight members of my tailgating crew will be there (and I’d wager on the number being higher, if Mr. Reason and Jasson head south), that any person who’s never been to Reliant will agree with me that (a) the Astrodome is the sh*ttiest stadium ever, and (b) Reliant Stadium is THE finest sporting facility in the National Football League, and nobody else comes close …

… and that the Chiefs will emerge with a 23-20 victory, either on a late Cairo Santos field goal, or an overtime Cairo Santos field goal.

Chiefs Projected Record: 1-0 overall, 0-0 division, 1-0 conference.

Week Two: vs denver broncos, Thursday September 17, 7:25pm CT (NFLN / CBS).

Thoughts: wow.  Not when I wanted to face the donkeys, but you know what?  You play the hand you’re dealt.  You may not like that Jack-Five facing a Nine the dealer gives you, but you’re an idiot if you don’t hit it.  I’m furious we have to face the donkeys this early, and on a short week to boot … but sometimes?  Sometimes you draw that six, then smile, prop the hands up behind your head, and enjoy the guaranteed push or win, coming your way.

Sometimes?  You think “damn, short week to face them?!?!?!”, then realize your team has the better coach at each and every meaningful position, has the entire preseason to scheme for those assholes, and you simply enjoy a four day weekend, that hosting a Thursday nighter gives you.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: arrogant, self-absorbed denver fan having to choke down and take it on the walk out, for the first time since 2010.  One denver fan in particular.  I pray to God Himself, I get one shot at her, somehow, someway, leaving that stadium approaching midnight, five months from now.  Just one good (verbal) b*tch slap.  I won't fail to make it count.

And most importantly, can the Chiefs generate a pass rush against a weakened donkeys O-Line?  Given that Sean Smith is highly likely to be serving the second of an (at least) two game suspension for his booze-related issues, and given the quarterback the Chiefs are likely to be facing is beyond deadly if given three seconds or more to let a play develop, a pass rush is a must.  The Chiefs failed to mount one in the Sunday nighter last year, and they were essentially drawing dead five minutes into the game, as a result.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: that at least twenty people will congratulate whoever I give the high honor and distinct privilege, of putting Noose Cinco on Quadruple Noose Donkey … 




(his neck is running out of room!  image credit: me, via my iPhone.)

... that I will be talked into coming out of retirement, to make the boatload of jello shots, a home opener demands … that I will boo and/or verbally harass any and all denver fans I encounter … that a bail bond fund will be started for me, just in case I get that one (verbal) b*tch slap at that one denver fan …

… and that the Chiefs will finally slay the dragon, 31-21.

Chiefs Projected Record: 2-0 overall, 1-0 division, 2-0 conference.

Week Three: at Green Bay Packers, Monday September 28, 7:30pm CT (ESPN / Channel 9 (local)).

Thoughts: I’d say there’s a 75% chance, five months out, I’ll be there for this one.  There were four roadies my group was thinking about taking a flyer on this fall: Houston, Green Bay, Cincinnati, and Minnesota.  Go figure, they’re the first four road games of the season.  We’re 180 days away from the start of the season, and already, it’s taking on a 2003 type feel to it.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: if I attend this one, simply getting to cross Lambeau Field off the bucket list.  There are only three sporting facilities, I’ve never attended an event at, that are left on it: Shinnecock Hills (they host the 2019 US Open), Lambeau Field, and Bristol Motor Speedway.

Also, the Chiefs are going to have to throw it effectively, to beat Green Bay.  The one area of that team that is even possibly suspect, is the secondary.  So this is another early test for the rebuilt, retooled, re-everything’d, offensive line.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: in the words of the late, great Randall Carlyle Wakefield: “I may be stupid, but I ain’t that stupid”.  Packers 34, Chiefs 24.

Chiefs Projected Record: 2-1 overall, 1-0 division, 2-0 conference.

Week Four: at Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday October 4, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: yeah.  On first thought?  I’m not making this roadie.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: other than NOT getting cold-cocked by a drunk Bengals fan?

I’m looking forward to seeing the Chiefs rushing attack finally get to break out in a meaningful way.  I’m also looking forward to watching what “Bulldog” Bob Sutton does to confuse, baffle, and discombobulate Andy Dalton.  I think this is the game, that entering it, everyone thinks will be a great contest between two evenly matched teams … that turns into a blowout early, and establishes a legitimate championship contender, to the eyes of a nation.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: Chiefs 38, Bengals 6.  I envision a pick-six in this one, at least two forced fumbles, and a steady, methodical Chiefs offense dinking, dunking, and pounding its way up and down the field, all afternoon long.

Chiefs Projected Record: 3-1 overall, 1-0 division, 3-0 conference.

Week Five: vs Chicago Bears, Sunday October 11, noon CT (FOX).

Thoughts: our best shot at a Double Header Day?  If the Royals win the Wild Card game, or if they are the division winner with the worst record, they would be hosting Game Three of the ALDS on October 11th.

On second thought, given that the Royals currently have the best record in the American League, and trail the Mets by a game for the best record in baseball, a tenth of the way through the season?  I can live without a Double Header Day in 2015.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: a potential “Stevo’s Favorite Type of Game” scenario – where the Chiefs are up by twenty plus at halftime, and the second half is nothing more than me, with the sandals kicked off, the feet propped up, the t-shirt nowhere to be found, enjoying a frosty cold Coors Light or three while working on the tan.  If any home game in 2015 has a shot of this occurring, this is the one.

But in all seriousness, this game frightens me.  John Fox is a damned good head coach.  If anyone can get Jay Cutler straightened out, he’s the guy to do it.  The Bears aren’t nearly as bad as their 5-11 record last year would indicate.  There’s a sh*t ton of talent on this team.  And I think John Fox has quite clearly proved over the last four years at least, that if you give him even a small bit of talent – no matter how crappy the quarterback – he can win the division every year.  *Cough Tim Tebow Cough*.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: I’ll say the Chiefs hold serve at home, but I don’t get to prop the feet up until the ten minute to go mark.  Chiefs 34, Bears 17.

Chiefs Projected Record: 4-1 overall, 1-0 division, 3-0 conference.

Week Six: at Minnesota Vikings, Sunday October 18, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: It’s a 50/50 coin flip if I make this one.  I know I’m doing Houston.  I’m doing either Green Bay or Minnesota.  I probably can’t afford both.  (Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well of course I’ve never let things like finances stop me from being selfish, and simply doing what I want to do!  Who do you think I am, someone worth admiring and/or respecting for his fiscal management, Ms. Stevo’s Site Numero Dos Non-Existent Editor Dudette?

Also, this is an intriguing game.  This is one of those games that might come back to bite the Chiefs in the ass, come January 4th.  It also might be the game that gives the Chiefs the separation from denver and San Diego, that they’re going to need, if they intend on being serious contenders, to bring Lamar’s Trophy home where it belongs.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: “Fat” Andy’s offensive scheme, versus Mike Zimmer’s defensive scheme.  Mike Zimmer has given the Chiefs nightmares over the last ten to twelve years.  He gave the League the blueprint on how to beat the Chiefs, in 2003.  He nearly killed Trent Green in the 2006 opener.  The Chiefs looked like a JV squad in 2009, and they were a JV squad in one of the most embarrassing, pathetic efforts they’ve ever submitted, in 2012.  The only time the Chiefs have looked capable or competent against a Mike Zimmer defense, was the 2005 finale, when the Bengals had nothing to play for (they were locked into the three seed), and played like they had nothing to play for.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: the Chiefs are going to lose at least one game this season, that leaves you asking “how the f*ck did that happen?!?!?!”  This is that game.  Vikings 27, Chiefs 24 (OT).

Chiefs Projected Record: 4-2 overall, 1-0 division, 3-0 conference.

Week Seven: vs Pittsburgh Steelers, Sunday October 25, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: the other Double Header Day opportunity – Game Five of the World Series is that night.  (So we’re rooting for the National League in the All Star Game apparently?)

Also, I honestly hate the Steelers, more than I hate the raiders.  I know, that for appearances sake, I have to pretend like I despite oakland more.  But I don’t.  I f*cking loathe and despise the denver broncos.  I intensely dislike the oakland raiders.  I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Anyone who brings one of those puke yellow towels might need medical assistance, if they’re sitting by me, I so despise this franchise. 

There’s your one moment of brief honesty, you’ll get out of me in 2015.  You’re welcome.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: something will happen at this game, that unless you’re sitting by me, you won’t notice … but it will be epic, and it will be legen … wait for it … dary.  Be it “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” as a Steelers player is carted off the field, be it “Dude strapped twelve beers to his body, and got through security!”, be it “I’m so sick I can’t even leave the car”, be it “what the hell dude?  You dropped the baked beans we spent two days smoking!”, be it whatever is going to happen on October 25 – something will happen, that will never get lived down, for the rest of our lives.

(Note: all of the items above, occurred.  1999, Mr. Reason booed Mitch Lyons as he was carted off the field, leg broken in half, because “I’m cold”, and needing the cart kept us outside longer (and away from the late, great Coyote Grill, longer, for the postgame dinner).  In Mr. Reason’s defense?  The squawking nachos were that damned good.  2001, dude sitting next to me – not even a month after 9/11, on a 90 degree day, strolls in wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, and proceeds to untape and unpack a 12 pack from his body.  And yes, he really did offer Jenni and I a bottle each, from his crotch.  (Shockingly, I passed.  I know – free beer, right?)  2011, I puked five times during tailgating, tried getting high with Anna to feel better, somehow felt worse, and had to be driven home before kickoff, I was so sick.  And 2009, Tyler dropped the baked beans pot on the sidewalk.  Again, something epic will happen on October 25th.  And it will be legendary.

Also, in that 2011 recap, ignore the "this is the worst it's going to be for the next four or five years" comment.  I have NEVER been as wrong in my life, as I was in that statement.  Exactly one year later, the Chiefs would enter at 1-11, we'd have a murder-suicide to comprehend and make sense of, and ... yeah.  I was dead wrong.  (Pause).  Sorry, horrible pun.)

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: this, honestly, is the true home game that frightens me the most.  The crowd (and “krap of kubiak”) will carry the Chiefs in the opener.  This is the game I fully expect the Chiefs, to find a way to lose inside the hallowed walls of Arrowhead Stadium.  And that’s what I’ll predict.  Steelers 24, Chiefs 17.

Chiefs Projected Record: 4-3 overall, 1-0 division, 3-1 conference.

Week Eight: Detroit Lions, Sunday November 1, 8:30am CT (FOX); Game Played in London.

Thoughts: on the one hand, screw you NFL, for taking a home game away from us.  On the other hand, I get to sleep in a solid three hours later than usual for a “home” game.  Doesn’t make the fact this game is a “home” game being played six time zones away, any easier to choke down.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: the Chiefs secondary against the Lions passing attack.  This is gonna be fun.  This is gonna be really, really fun.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: I think the Chiefs secondary (and front seven) is better than the offensive weapons the Lions will use.  The Chiefs stop the bleeding, in their final non-conference game of the season.  Chiefs 31, Lions 21.

Chiefs Projected Record: 5-3 overall, 1-0 division, 3-1 conference.

Week Nine: Bye.

Thoughts: if the Chiefs are truly 5-3?  They’re in spectacular shape for the second half of the season.  Three of the last four at home.  Five of the last eight against the division.  All of the last eight against the conference.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: a chance to breathe.  I love it when the bye falls in Week Nine or later.  It gives you a chance to catch your breath, and refocus on what’s left. 

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: (checking the coaching staff … noting there’s no “Sur” William Callahan on it …) so the Chiefs can’t lose! 

Also, if – and I will grant you, unless I am absolutely right about what the “krap of kubiak” is going to do to denver, this will appear a hollow victory – but if I am absolutely right about what the “krap of kubiak” is going to do to the donkeys?  The Chiefs will have at least two weeks, to prepare for both donkeys games.  Don’t underestimate that huge competitive advantage, it might give “Fat” Andy and his crew.

Chiefs Projected Record: 5-3 overall, 1-0 division, 3-1 conference.

Week Ten: at denver broncos, Sunday November 15, 3:25pm CT (CBS).

Thoughts: three plus hours of Phil Simms verbally fellating the donkeys.  Three plus hours of “Hello Friends” Jim Nantz coming up with sh*tty puns that nobody enjoys, yet everyone somehow tolerates.  And if I am right about the “krap of kubiak”, three plus hours of Mr. Nantz and Mr. Simms, wondering out loud what the hell has happened to the denver broncos.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: a visibly irate satan manning, verbally throwing down with gary kubiak, over the “krap” that ol’ gar has brought to the donkeys franchise.  I know everyone thinks (alleged) all time great peyton manning can overcome even the worst of coaches.  (And in your defense?  He did somehow drag the Colts to a Super Bowl, with Jim Caldwell at the helm.)  

But satan’s never faced off against the gross and utter incompetence, that is “krap of” gary kubiak.  I cannot wait for what this year, is going to give the denver broncos and their fans. 

Because NOBODY deserves the “krap of kubiak” more, than you worthless a**holes, who root for satan’s squad.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: Chiefs 28, donkeys 17.  For the official record, I don’t think denver will top eight wins in 2015.  gary “krap of” kubiak, is that sh*tty of a head coach.  And in case you doubt me, that a god-awful head coach can destroy a franchise literally overnight?  I give you Coach Buffoon, Chiefs fans.  I give you Romeo Crennel.

Chiefs Projected Record: 6-3 overall, 2-0 division, 4-1 conference.

Week Eleven: at San Diego “Blooper” Chargers, Sunday November 22, 7:30pm CT (NBC).

Thoughts: our personal house of horrors!  In prime time!  What in the name of Craig Whelihan or Ryan Leaf, could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: in the words of Edwin Starr: “absolutely nothing!  Say it again y’all! … absolutely nothing!”

I suppose, if the “Blooper” Chargers trade Phyllis Rivers in the next week or so, this game might have a different outcome.  Just like I suppose, if the “Blooper” Chargers trade Phyllis Rivers in the next week or so, this game will be flexed out of the NBC prime-time slot.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: “Blooper” Chargers 20, Chiefs 9.  The Chiefs have won in San Diego exactly four times since the 1990s came to a close.  2001 (when both teams sucked), 2003 (when the Chiefs won the AFC West), 2007 (arguably the most “how the f*ck did that happen?!?!?!” win in franchise history), and 2014 (on a miracle Cairo Santos field goal).  I’m not expecting to win two years in a row, in our personal house of horrors.

Chiefs Projected Record: 6-4 overall, 2-1 division, 4-2 conference.

Week Twelve: vs Buffalo Bills, Sunday November 29, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: for the eighth straight year, these two non-rivals meet.  For the first time since arguably the most disasterous season opener in franchise history, they’ll meet at the hallowed ground of Arrowhead. 

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: (hopefully) the tailgate.  I love it when the Chiefs are home on Turkey Weekend.  It means friends who come in for one or two games a year, are highly likely to be there.  Thanksgiving also kicks off what (and gun to my head I’ll deny it … but it is true), it kicks off my favorite four weeks of the year, the Chrismukkah season.  The four weeks out of the year when you set petty sh*t aside, and honor those you truly care about, reconnect with those you’ve fallen out with. 

The four weeks of the year, when others truly matter more to you, than you do.

Also, I’m setting the over/under on number of forward pass attempts between the two teams combined at 15 … and I’d take the under.  Watching LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles do their thing, is gonna be something really fun to watch. 

Let’s just all hope and pray, the weather cooperates, to let that happen.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: both teams figure to enter this game in the 5-5 / 6-4 range.  The winner will take a huge step forward towards the playoffs.  Reminds me a lot of the 2000 Chiefs / Bills game, when two 5-5 squads staged a game that ultimately came down to a brilliant fake punt call by the Bills.  Let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself.  Chiefs 13, Bills 10 (OT).

Chiefs Projected Record: 7-4 overall, 2-1 division, 5-2 conference.

Week Thirteen: at oakland raiders, Sunday December 6, 3:05pm CT (CBS).

Thoughts: your national window game at the same time is Eagles at Patriots.  Let’s all hope and pray at least half the KC Metro area media market has flipped to that game by halftime, because the Chiefs / raiders game is such a blowout by the Chiefs, that it’s unwatchable.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: with the exception of 2013 (when Jamaal Charles scored five touchdowns, and the Chiefs scored 56), most Chiefs / raiders games played at whatever the hell they call the coliseum nowadays, tend to be close, sloppy matches that come down to one key play late in the fourth quarter, or in overtime. 

On paper, the Chiefs should win this game comfortably.  But if they played games on paper, I’d just predict the Chiefs to win every game, and there’d be no drama or suspense to the season.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: Chiefs 30, raiders 20.  This is a game the Chiefs absolutely have to win, if this season is the year we put denver back in its rightful place as our personal urinal, and keep oakland in its rightful place, as the division’s port-a-potty.  They’ll get the job done.

Chiefs Projected Record: 8-4 overall, 3-1 division, 6-2 conference.

Week Fourteen: vs San Diego “Blooper” Chargers, Sunday December 13, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: if I am right about what the “krap of kubiak” is going to mean to the denver broncos this season, then this is for the division, for all intents and purposes.  Provided the “Blooper” Chargers keep Phyllis, of course.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: Charger Chicken!  This is my favorite tailgate spread of the season, to be honest.  (Well, other than when Ron and Ryan have a great weekend fishing, and we opt to do a fish fry.  That’s my favorite.)  I love Charger Chicken.  I love the different flavors everyone comes up with, for what they want their chicken to be … and I love the mixing and matching of the flavors, once the finished product is available for consumption.

I’m also looking forward to this one, because there’s a decent chance this is Phyllis’ last trip to KC as a Charger, and there’s a really decent chance this is the Chargers last trip to KC, calling San Diego home.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: for some reason, the Chargers game here seems to have a profound effect, on the Chiefs (and occasionally, the Chargers) postseason chances.  Last year was the exception.  The 2013 collapse to San Diego effectively handed the division to denver, and condemned the Chiefs to a road trip to Indy.  The 2012 loss effectively ended the season by dropping the Chiefs to 0-4.  The 2011 Monday Nighter temporarily saved the season (ironically, it was the oakland defeat at home, that cost the Chiefs the playoffs).  The 2010 Tuesday Morning goalline stand set the Chiefs up in first place wire to wire.  The 2008 epic rally by the Chargers ended up giving them the AFC West.  The 2006 victory by the Chiefs gave them the tiebreaker to reach the playoffs over denver.  The 2005 Chiefs win ended the Drew Brees era in San Diego; the 2004 Chargers win ended the Chiefs season.

That’s just in the last ten years!

The 1996 defeat cost the Chiefs the playoffs, as did the 1989 defeat.  The only team to beat the Chargers after Week Four in 1992?  The Chiefs, at Arrowhead.  (The Chargers returned the favor on my 16th birthday, in the Wild Card game.) 

This game will have great significance.  Chiefs 26, Chargers 21 in a tight, back-and-forth contest that will probably come down to who has the ball last.

Chiefs Projected Record: 9-4 overall, 4-1 division, 7-2 conference.

Week Fifteen: at Baltimore Ravens, Sunday December 20, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: I’m going to make a prediction, seven months out: this game will get flexed into the Sunday Night slot, currently held by Bengals at 49ers.  CBS has the national window, and they’ll protect donkeys at Steelers for it.  FOX’s six games for Week Fifteen are Bears at Vikings (yikes), Falcons at Jags (gulp), Cards at Eagles (definitely one for the birds, and the birds only (rimshot!)), Panthers at Giants (candidate to flex), Browns at Seahawks (not a chance in hell), and Packers at raiders (without Brett Favre and his dad’s sad passing).  Chiefs at Ravens is likely to be a battle between two rock-solid squads that I think will win their respective divisions.  Depending on how the Patriots schedule plays out, this could have huge, huge, hu-yuge home field advantage ramifications.

So I’m calling it now: this game will get flexed to 7:30pm CT (NBC).

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: how the Ravens offense looks.  It’s not exactly a closely guarded secret that I am a big fan of Marc Trestman.  I get after his failure in Chicago he’s probably not head-coach material.  But he is a brilliant offensive mind.  The downside is that he’ll be Joe Flacco’s third offensive coordinator, in three seasons.  (The previous two, Jim Caldwell and gary “krap of” kubiak, left for head coaching opportunities.)

If Mr. Trestman is the coordinator I believe him to be, the Ravens are going to be scary good.  This is gonna be one great matchup. 

To say nothing of the matchup between “Fat” Andy and John Harbaugh – who made his name in this League as “Fat” Andy’s special teams coach for years in Philadelphia.

This is gonna be one helluva great matchup.

Stevo’s Initial Prediction: whether this gets flexed or not, the Ravens are a tough, tough out.  Especially at home.  Ravens 27, Chiefs 24. 

Chiefs Projected Record: 9-5 overall, 4-1 division, 7-3 conference.

Week Sixteen: vs Cleveland Browns, Sunday December 27, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: I get that I’m in a very, very distinct minority … but I think letting Dwayne Bowe go, is a mistake that the Chiefs are going to grow to regret.

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: honestly, there’s not much in this game that I’m looking forward to.

It’s a virtual must-win for the Chiefs.  I have to cheer against a former Chief I strongly believe should still be a current Chief.  There is nothing to gain out of this game – there’s only a sh*t ton to lose.

Stevo’s Initial Projection: Chiefs 33, Browns 10.

Chiefs Projected Record: 10-5 overall, 4-1 division, 8-3 conference.

Week Seventeen: vs oakland raiders, Sunday January 3, noon CT (CBS).

Thoughts: this is gonna be one helluva 39th birthday party!  With potentially the division championship, a first round bye, and if things break right perhaps home field throughout the playoffs on the line!  (Or, potentially, staring a “win and you’re in; lose and you’re praying for tiebreakers” scenario.)  Either way, party on!

Thing I’m Looking Forward To the Most: did I mention January 3rd happens to be the date of my 39th birthday?

This, peoples and peepettes, is what I actually prayed for – oakland at home, on the last great birthday of my life.  (Sorry, but once the first digit turns to a 4 or higher?  You’re just (george michael voice) praying for time.  (my liver’s voice) Good luck with that.)

Getting to spend that day with the people I value the most in life – my second family, the ones I get to choose … plus, let’s be honest, we all know my brother will be there too … that’s what I am so looking forward to.  To have great friends who somehow root for that vile franchise known as oakland, drive six hours south, to share this day.  To have great friends who (thank God) don’t root for that vile franchise known as oakland, drive three hours south, or eight hours north, to share in this day.

To have so many of you – the “family” I don’t deserve, but I’m sure as all hell beyond damned proud to call “family” – there to share it.

If come January 4, 2016, I begin the final year of my life when I get to continue to act and live like “the friend you teach your kids to never be like”?  So be it.  But it’s going to get off to an epic, epic start, on January 3rd.

There’s a large part of me that hopes that somehow, the Chiefs are the only team in the NFL facing a “win and in, lose and no playoffs for you” scenario entering Week Seventeen, so that this thing gets shifted into prime time, and the 2015 season closes down in epic fashion.

But I refuse to be greedy.  The greatness that is God gave me my selfish wish for Numero … whatever the hell Thirty Nine is, in Espanol.  He gave us oakland at home. 

The most winnable game, on the 2015 schedule, five months before said schedule begins.

Stevo’s Predicted Outcome: Chiefs 33, raiders 6.  If you know me at all, you know exactly what that score means to any Chiefs fan, and exactly why I picked it. 

(For those of you who aren’t exactly the brightest bulb in the pack, Chiefs 33 (non-raiders opponent) 6 is my favorite Chiefs game of all time.)

I truly hope and desire, that January 3, 2016, somehow approach the greatness that that Monday nighter did, twenty four years ago come October 7.


Final Chiefs Projected Record (Subject to Change): 11-5 overall, AFC Western Division Champions, AFC 2nd Seed; 5-1 division, 9-3 conference.

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