sk: the first of a few old Chiefs rants / recaps as I have to downsize the email server. Some of these deserve to be preserved, if only to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that (a) I love this team, and (b) I am so destined to live in Two Rivers Psychiatric Center someday. First up: the Week 7 2006 picks, which proved that even a blind squirrel can find that acorn every once in a while ... and then the recap of one of the funnest games of the decade. That, and apparently the 9 mobile was still very much alive in the Chase for the Cup at that point. Good God, RPM Enterprises is a friggin joke nowadays. Anyways, enjoy!
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From: stevo.
To: multiple recipients.
Subject: my week seven picks.
Originally Sent: 10/17/06 3:17pm
from Monday, October 9th, 1995, Chiefs / Chargers tied at 23 in overtime ...
(dan) boy did he loft that one!
(al) Vanover fields it at his ten ...
(frank) uh oh ...
(al) Vanover ... he's up past the 30!
(dan) (with glee) he's gone!
(al) Vanover is almost gone and now he is ... officially gone!
(frank) we've been talking about him all night ...
(dan) no flags! no flags, this baby's over!
Man, I miss Frank, Al and Dan. That's still my favorite play of all time. I still tear up every time I see it, hear it, think about it ...
This is coming to you early, because I'm taking the rest of the week off. Hooray me! Hopefully that means these picks aren't (dennis green voice) "bullsh*t, bullsh*t!" Man, that was a classic meltdown last night, kind of like me after a Royals sacrifice bunt ...
Last Week SU: 10-3-0
Season to Date SU: 60-27-0
Last Week ATS: 7-6-0
Season to Date ATS: 43-42-2
Last Week Upset / Week: The Saints came marching in! Tom Benson got to boogie with his parasol! I nailed another outright winner!
Season to Date Upset / Week: 4-2-0
This Week's Upset: you have to read the commentary to find out. (dusty voice) dammit Steven, just admit it! You're picking the Chiefs!
Lines pulled from today's USA Today.
The Non-Chiefs Picks:
Panthers 27 (+3.5), at Bengals 20.
at Jets 16 (-3), Lions 10.
at Dolphins 21, Packers 17 (+4.5)
Jaguars 34 (-9), at Texans 3.
Patriots 31 (-5), at Bills 20.
at Bucs 24 (+5), Eagles 20.
at Falcons 27 (+3), Steelers 21.
broncos 27, at Browns 24 (+6).
Cardinals 3 (-2.5), at Raiders 0.
Whoa, hold on here. The Cardinals just lost in arguably the most f*cked up, screwy, crazy as sh*t finish in NFL history. They blew a huge lead at home for the second week in a row. For the second week in a row, they totally shanked a makeable field goal that would have either tied or won the game. They just sh*t canned their offensive coordinator today, so they'll be breaking in a new guy there on short notice, on a short week to boot. Their head coach is absolutely homicidal right now. Three defenders walked out of a team meeting, and one of them physically attacked the defensive coordinator. This clearly is a team in absolute chaos and self destruction.
And now, they're going on the road, to a place with a decent home field advantage ... and the Raiders are getting points?!?! Holy sh*t! I mean, this is "worst team in NFL history" type territory we're getting into here. A home dog to the Arizona Cardinals? How the hell is ANYONE a home dog to the freaking Arizona Cardinals? (steve with shocked, stunned look on his face). And yet, it makes total sense.
at Seahawks 41 (-7), Vikings 20.
at Colts 24, Redskins 20 (+9).
at Cowboys 31 (-3), Giants 24.
The Chiefs "Rambling, Pointless, Yet Somewhat Inspirational Commentary (and Prediction)":
Well, here we go, the homestand that will define the season. Two straight games against division leaders and legitimate Super Bowl contenders. Marty and the first place San Diego "Super" Chargers up first, followed in seven days by the defending NFC Champion Seahawks.
Sunday is also Neil Smith Day. Or, "The Only denver bronco Steve Has Ever Cheered During Introductions" Day. Should be plenty of emotion, as he joins his late, great buddy Derrick Thomas in the Ring of Fame.
(Plus, you know he's going to give a speech. Neilbonics at halftime! Sweet!)
So, I could waste your time (and mine) by pointing out all the strengths of the Chargers, and the weaknesses of the Chiefs. I could analyze the matchups, I could break down the positional battles, but I won't.
Because let's face it, there's only one way the Chiefs win on Sunday. And that is if Arrowhead is, well, Arrowhead.
That means we have a job to do.
We gotta show up. We gotta be loud. You, me, all of us, the fanbase, have to be the difference maker. We've gotta be there early, prepared to stay late, and help continue to make Arrowhead the most feared stadium in the National ... Football League.
(Although please, don't go overboard and dress up in some ridiculous costume like The X Factor or Weird Wolf or First Down Elvis or any of those other f*cking retards. Halloween is still two weeks away. We're all grown adults here. You can be a loyal, passionate fan without setting aside your dignity and making a complete and total ass out of yourself).
The gates open at 8:30. I'll be there, booze in hand(s), by 8:15. Me and Jenni will be more than happy to save however many spots it takes to get your cars parked. So bring yourself, bring some booze, bring some food, and above all else, bring your voice and hands, we need some noise in that joint Sunday afternoon. This time, it truly is "Must Win Sunday".
Whatever excuse you have for not going, no matter how reasonable or rational you might think it is, it just doesn't fly.
* "I'll be too hung over from the night before". What, is that a joke? This isn't even a semi-legitimate excuse. There's no way you'll be in worse shape than me. No freaking way. Besides, the best cure for a hangover is to pick up where you left off.
* "I don't have a ticket". Buy one when you get there. Plus, every one of you in a seat, means a Chargers fan isn't in that seat.
* "I can't find a sitter for the kids". They gotta learn to watch themselves sometime. Sunday is as good a time as any.
* "My wife / girlfriend / significant other refuses to let me go". I'm pretty sure the Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery, and saying "I Do" doesn't make you an indentured servant. (Allegedly).
* "The game looks awesome in HD". I know it does. But it looks a helluva lot better live.
* "But the NASCAR race is on!" Look, its at Martinsville. Which means the 24 is a lock to win. (brett voice) no! dammit, you just jinxed him!
* "But its going to be cold / rainy / insert miserable weather condition here". No it isn't, forecast says 52 and partly cloudy. Good football weather. It might be a little chilly to start off, but that's what the alcohol and that "taco soup" concoction is for ...
* "I don't have anyone to tailgate with". You're always welcome to join us. We didn't get in one of those Price Chopper commercials last year, and in the gameday program this year, by sitting around and doing nothing but drink large amounts of alcohol for three hours ... oh wait. That is pretty much what we did.
See, none of your excuses will work, because as a Chiefs fan, you understand what Sunday is all about. The season is on the line. We cannot fall to 0-4 in the conference, and 0-2 in the division, and expect to be a playoff contender.
The schedule gets considerably easier after these next two weekends. Winnable roadies at St Louis, Miami, and Cleveland, with home games against the "Worst NFL Team of My Lifetime" and "Steve's Most Hated Sports Franchise on Earth", also known as the Raiders and broncos. 4-1 in that stretch is highly likely, and 5-0 isn't out of the question.
But none of those is going to matter worth a crap if we lose Sunday. Its the biggest game of the season. And this team needs our support.
Do your part. Show up. Be Loud. Get your drink on, because drunk fans tend to make more noise. Stand during big plays. (Or, if you're like section 132, stand the whole freaking game. Hooray best section in the stadium). Let the defense know you're behind it.
Yes, the Chiefs got blown out last week. Hell, that loss was so brutal, so ugly, there isn't a word to describe it. Yes, the Chargers are a damned good football team. Yes, right now, we're not a good football team. But with another solid game plan from Herm, Gun, and Solari ... well ok, from two of those three, I'm not sold on Solari ... and the crowd support rooting the defense on, this is a very winnable football game.
With 80,000 boozed up, frenzied fans behind them, with a motivated and determined LJ and offensive line ready to re-establish the running game, I envision this being a classic, sort of like 1995's Monday Night affair.
I see this one coming down to the final play from scrimmage. The rumormill says our game at San Diego in December is likely moving to NBC in prime time. Let's give them a reason to make the switch official. Lawrence Tynes from 41 to win the "Upset of the Week". Chiefs 22 (+4.5), Chargers 20. See ya Sunday. Be There! And Be Loud!
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From: stevo.
To: multiple recipients.
Subject: hooray chiefs! steve's thoughts from yesterday's hu-yuge win
Originally Sent: 10/23/06 10:53am
After a game like that, with the season hanging in the balance, on the leg of a guy who'd already shanked a 42 yarder in our end zone, and had clanked an extra point off the upright, and had never hit a field goal beyond 52 before, there's only one thing to say.
Season. F*cking. On!
* If you tailgated with us yesterday, you are "strongly encouraged" to join us again next Sunday. (Hence all the added people to the normal "Steve's Nutty Reflections" distribution list. Well that, and I'm still so pumped over yesterday's win that I felt like sharing the love with everyone that's a Chiefs fan). I thought it was fun, and so did everyone else in our group. If you're coming Sunday and weren't there yesterday, feel free to join us too. Fun alcohol-fueled times had by all. Plus, everyone loved the taco soup concoction, and wants a repeat performance on Sunday. Really solid effort on that stuff, its damned good.
* The stat of the game, courtesy the Chiefs postgame: the Chiefs offense made positive yards on 45 plays yesterday, a really good number. 36 of those plays, the ball wound up in the hands of LJ or Tony Gonzalez. 80% of our offense was LJ or Tony G. Which means (a) those guys are really good, or (b) our wide receivers suck something awful. I lean towards (b).
* 5 home games in, and still no "head coach of the Chiefs, Herm Edwards!" during introductions. For those keeping score, that's 46 games and counting since I last cheered the home coach at Arrowhead during introductions. Hopefully the streak ends Sunday.
* The unnoticed play that really helped us win it: 2nd and 12, Chargers ball, :54 to play. Tied at 27. Chargers ball at their own 43. Rivers is sacked at around his own 42 by Allen, setting up 3rd and 13. And Rivers calls a timeout. I love first year starting QBs who don't realize the situation they're in. Rivers calling TO there saved us from having to use one ... which we then used after the completion to Gonzalez with 11 seconds left moved us into field goal range.
Rivers should have let the clock run, and either (a) force us to use a timeout, or (b) go to overtime. The odds of converting 3rd and 13 are not good. Instead, his decision to burn a timeout allowed us to not have to use one to stop the clock, and gave us the opportunity to try the field goal at the end.
* Having said that, man, I came away impressed by him. The Chargers made the right call in ditching Brees for him. I have a feeling that ten years from now, I'll be saying the words "Phillip Rivers" with the same disgust, contempt, and hate that I use when saying "john elway". He's a keeper. Most QBs, after the first quarter he had, in that nuthouse of a stadium, would have completely collapsed. He didn't.
* Speaking of nuthouse, hooray fan support! It totally felt like old times in that place yesterday. An inferior Chiefs team being willed to victory by the fans.
* To the "fans" who left early ... what the f*ck kind of "fan" are you? Seriously, what the f*ck is wrong with you? As sweet as the ending was, the sight of about 1/4 of the stadium leaving after Tomlinson's TD tied the game at 27 was disgusting. In the future, do us all a favor: if you have so little confidence, so little belief in this team's ability to win, at home, then don't show up. Just stay the f*ck away and give your ticket to someone who will actually do their job as a fan, as opposed to your half assed effort.
That just really p*ssed me off. If we're good enough to get up 14 on arguably the best team in football, then we're capable of taking the lead again. The Chargers never led in this game. Not for even a second. And yet, 1/4 of the stadium leaves early? What the f*ck? Again, if you're going to pull these shenanigans at next week's game, do everyone a favor and just stay the f*ck away.
I mean, seriously. You're already cold. Or at least I was. Is another 5 minutes in the cold really going to kill you? If you're that concerned about traffic, or that sure we're going to lose, then why the f*ck did you show up in the first place? "Fan", my ass.
If we're up 41-0 and you leave early, that's one thing. That's fine. But to bail on a tie ballgame? A game in which your team has yet to trail? A game in which your team has already scored four touchdowns with a crappy offensive line, a bad backup QB, and no wide receivers worth a damn other than the TE? A game in which the Chargers only had one long scoring drive? (The first touchdown was set up by a nice punt return to our 29). We do that, and you leave early? Ridiculous. And absolutely unacceptable.
* To everyone who did stay, which as far as I could tell, included everyone in our tailgating groups ... that's why you don't leave a tie game early.
* Nice to see "Start Me Up" back in the kickoff rotation.
* Very nice to see Tony and Patti DiParto perform the Anthem. She's slid down my list of "favorite performers", behind the great Ida McBeth and the amazing Rev. Weeks. But really, if they just rotated it between the three of them for every game, I'd be happy. They're all great.
* This just in: I freaking hate cold weather. (shocked and awed voice) No ...
* I love Alumni Day, because its the one day a year I get to cheer my favorite Chiefs player of all time, the great #35.
* They moved Steadman's name to allow Neil's to be next to Derrick's. I'm shocked Jack Steadman could find it in him to do that, there's isn't a more pompous, arrogant man in this community than that baffoon.
* No Neilbonics. (florida evans voice) damn, damn, damn!
* So I wind up sitting next to two female Chargers fans yesterday. Apparently, I was really fired up for the game. That, or I was really drunk. Could have been both. Anyways, they left near the end of the third quarter, and this is how they left:
(chicks) (packing up their stuff)
(steve) (fake sympathy voice) oh, you're leaving?
(chick #1) yes!
(steve) (fake sympathy voice) ok. Sorry to see you go.
(chick #1) (total disgust on face) You're an ass!
(steve) what, me?
(chick #1) yes! You made watching this game just ... unbearable.
(steve) (smile) yes! sweet!
(chick #2) what?
(steve) well, I convinced you Chargers fans to leave early. I've done my job. I drove you out of here.
(chick #1) (shakes head at my logic) you are such an ass!
(steve) (waving bye) bye! come back anytime!
Somehow, I doubt they enjoyed the Section 132 Experience as much as I do.
* The decision to sit on the ball at the end of the first half was just stupid. Absolutely stupid. You've got 3 timeouts, solid field position, and 64 seconds to work with, to at least move into field goal range to get a 3 possession lead at the half, and you get the ball to start the second half. Instead, stupidity. Thank God they didn't do that at the end of the second half.
* The first quarter showed why the fan support matters. The defense looked totally different with the home crowd behind it than they did last week in Pittsburgh. Chargers first four possessions: turnover, punt, turnover, turnover. And we had a 14-0 lead out of it. Very well done by all parties involved, the offense, the defense, and the fans.
* The "false start" on Kris Wilson on the first game winning attempt was absolute bullsh*t.
* Finally, I see Kasey's 99 points back now with 4 races to go, thanks to Jeff Burton's incredibly nice decision to finish 42nd and not try to run and pick up a couple spots at the end. To refresh your memory, Kasey was 90 points back with 2 races to go before the Chase cutoff, and made it. And, of the four races remaining, he's already won at 2 of the 4 tracks this year. I'm just saying ...
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