bb likeability poll version 2.0

Well, we're officially underway!

Big Brother 12 kicked off last night with a slimmed down Chenbot, 13 houseguests (apparently there were supposed to be 14, but one of them backed out at the last minute, and CBS opted not to replace them), and the stunning revelation that Zap2It, the guru of all things reality ... has named Initial Stevo BB12 Likeability Poll leader Hayden as the odds on favorite to win!

So ... without further ado, the Steve BB12 Likeability Poll Version 2.0! (Updated to reflect initial night(s) in the house):

13. Andrew. (Previous: 8). Annoying as holy hell. Dude, if you are the saboteur, you are making it way too obvious. And if you're not the saboteur, why in the hell are you acting like a world class ass and drawing unneeded heat on you? I swear, some people overthink things way too much. Plus, if you're gonna lie about what you do ... why in the hell would you say "I'm a shoe salesman". Really? Nobody's loved a shoe salesman since Al Bundy left our lives.

(editors note: I forgot -- Gregg's sister was a shoe saleswoman at the K-Mart in beautiful, and dear Jesus do I use that term loosely, "beautiful" Canton, Illinois after "Married With Children" went off the air. So I guess that means nobody's loved a shoe salesperson since 2000, not 1997. Sorry about that.)

12. Monet. (Previous: 11). I nailed the "she's a prima donna" comment from Version 1.0. Running for the bed right away, potentially an initially smart move, but still. She strikes me as way too Chima like.

11. Rachel. (Previous: 9). That laugh, dear God. Enzo nailed it -- "we'll probably hear it from three rooms away". She is extremely attractive, as Annie noted, "just two gigantic watermelons staring at you, asking to be eaten". Also dropped the "I just knew I wanted to hop on those big weiners" line. Normally, I'd call that the front runner for line of the night, but Hayden won that award going away (stay tuned).

10. Lane. (Previous: 10). Two words describe this guy: Joe Griffin. A good ol' country boy that grows on you. Plus he's got a pretty sweet full right-side length tat going for him. I still haven't forgotten his team coming into Lawrence and overcoming a 25 point halftime deficit though.

9. Kathy. (Previous: 7). Seems like she's destined for a middle of the pack run. She didn't really stand out, and she didn't really offend anyone. Enzo dropping the "in Juhsay, we don't like cops" blast was pretty funny.

8. Matt. (Previous: 3). The most disappointing contestant from night one. I think he seriously hurt himself by mentioning right off the bat that he just got married. You want to portray yourself as desperate and lonely and wanting an alliance / companionship / showmance as possible, if only to build up some PoV votes. Still time to rebound though. His "kosher weinie" comment about Andrew's costume was great.

7. Britney. (Previous: 12). Holy God, I'd so tap that. Any chick who notes that she and the token gay guy will get along because "he's my people", you know is a girl's girl. "We can like talk about Sex and the City and fashion and stuff like that". Thank God for Ragan -- I'd have no interest in talking about any of that stuff. Unless by fashion, she meant the bikini / thong ensembles she plans on wearing in the house. Then we could talk. Plus, she's already screwed up her knee. While playing with a giant weiner, and getting squirted with a light-colored creamy substance. See, I can make anything sound kinky!

6. Annie. (Previous: 5). I don't recall any bi-sexual candidates on the show before that hid what they were. Of course, I still question whether Lydia from last year was packing heat, there's no way she isn't at least trans-gendered. I think playing both sides might blow up on her, especially if she "misreads" a female's interest in her. Still, she's attractive, she's up for anything ... I see her rising these rankings just based on potential alone.

5. Ragan. (Previous: 13). This guy is hilarious. The funniest token gay guy on this show since Marcellus way back in what, season three, season four? Every time this guy opens his mouth, you just laugh. Full of one-liners, very self-deprecating, really laid back. I totally misread this guy based on his promo video. I fear he's the saboteur.

4. Kristin. (Previous: 2). Still the hottest girl in the house, and its not even a competition in my book. Admits she's digging Hayden already and "figures we'll do something in the first week or so". Hang on, let me sign up for the (jimmy lennon jr. voice) Showtime! after dark feed here really quick ...

3. Brendon. (Previous: 4). Apparently he's on the block because he's viewed as a threat. Yeah, that's brilliant strategory, kick out the strong, likeable players right off the bat. That's how you build an audience and have a kick ass season. Hopefully he wins PoV and can save himself, or someone does it for him.

2. Enzo. (Previous: 6). I luhve Nah Juhsay! Holy crap, this guy is the embodiment of everything good about Jersey. You know he was a Corzine crony. Funny guy, could have a solid top three run in him. And oh yeah ... he's ROCKING the fedora!

1. Hayden. (Previous: 1). Anytime you enter the house, realize you don't have your own bed, and rationalize that away by saying "that's ok, I'll just find one of the hot girls and hook up with her every night to have a bed to sleep in", you've got my support. And yes, I am that morally bankrupt. Loved his promo video, hitting bombs at Rosenblatt, sweet stuff. This guy might give Memphis a run as my favorite BB contestant ever before this is all said and done. We're one night in, and I'm already comparing him to Memphis. He's got potential ...