Monday, July 18, 2016

the rnc: night one, live blog ...

Hi folks!

Well ... you get a live blog, at least for a while tonight.

Enjoy?


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* This “Duck Dynasty” guy is an “everyday American”?  If that’s what everyday America looks like?  I want no part of it.  Dude.  Buy a razor.  Even I can manage to keep the beard groomed.

And this whole idea that “well, we pray to end each day, at the table”.  Well sh*t, so do I and my friends and family at “The Family Dinner” every Sunday night.  I have a feeling it’s not going to do us a damned bit of good, when we have to stand before the face of God someday.  Call me crazy.  But when the whiskey / wine to sandwich ratio is about even?  Probably not worth wasting the words, on said prayer.

* Scott Baio was good.  I liked his speech.  I hated his “Never Hillary” line, but whatever.

* My dad’s brother – who has lived in Texas for longer than I’ve been alive – hates Rick Perry with a passion.  (In my uncle’s defense?  I can’t stand that f*cking phony either.)  Having said that …

* His introduction of Marcus Luttrell was inspiring, and Mr. Luttrell’s speech on what true heroism and patriotism is, was awesome.  I loved that it didn’t sound like a speech.  He was just speaking from the heart.

* The mother of Sean Smith.  Damn.  “Hillary Clinton is a woman, a mother, and a grandmother of two.  I am a woman, a mother, and a grandmother of two.  How could she do this to me?”  This, after flat out saying “Hillary Clinton is a liar”.  I … I got nothing folks.  I’m not even going to try to defend Benghazi.

“If Hillary Clinton can’t give us the truth?  Why should we give her the Presidency?”

“That’s right – Hillary Clinton for prison!  She deserves to be in stripes!”

I … I got nothing folks.  I’m not even going to try to defend Benghazi.

Although this lady did note that “I’ve been waiting four years for her to return my (phone call).  Is she too scared to talk?”  Gee, who does THAT sound like?

Wolf Blitzer after that speech: “I think a theme is developing”.  Well, considering the Republicans called this “Benghazi Night”, I think the theme was already known, Wolf.  Christ.

Why Jake Tapper Is The Best Journalist Alive Today: he’s not even trying to attack Mrs. Smith … or defend HRC.  (Or me at this point.)

Mr. Tapper also is all but confirming Mrs. Smith’s accusation, that Mrs. Clinton is a liar.  Which, again, she is.  And yet, compared to Mr. Trump, she’s slightly less pathological of one, in my opinion.

‘Murica 2016!!!!!!!  Who lies to you less!!!!!!!!!

Jesus, we are so f*cked as a nation at this point, you have to question the sanity of anyone who wants to bring another kid into this world, as an American.

* Guess I should note, I have CNN on one TV, MSNBC on a second, CSPAN on the personal laptop, and I’m typing this on the work laptop. 

(Pause).

‘Murica 2016!!!!!!!!!  Greatest Nation Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Still to come: Antonio Sabato Junior (really?), Rudy Giuliani (Jesus, give it up already, we get it – you weren’t sound asleep at 8:58am ET on 9/11/01), Senator Ernst (I actually like her), Milwaukee’s Sheriff (this could be interesting), and “House of Wings” introducing his trophy wife (who, actually, I like a lot too … and my fear is, she’s going to hit this tonight to (reggie jackson voice) second f*cking base.  Basically, the Bizarro Teresa Heinz-Kerry from 12 years ago.)

And if CNN is going to a break … so am I.  Back in (chuck woolery voice) two and two …

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And I'm back.  Tonight's fuel of choice is Coors Light.  Coors Light: where I'm exactly one twelve pack away -- in barely two weeks! -- from cashing in enough points for a mini-fridge!

Media Isn't Biased 101: neither CNN nor MSNBC is showing the Benghazi survivors live.  Again ... I got nothing folks.  I'm not even going to try to defend Benghazi.

Oh boy, it's Rudy time apparently ... only CNN goes to a commercial.  MSNBC already is in one.  I guaran-godd*mn-tee you, if Benghazi happened under W's watch, we wouldn't be at commercial.

Guess this is a decent time to come that much closer, to a mini-fridge ...

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Oh, a couple disclaimers.

(1) I'm too damned cheap to pay for a live blog, uuh, live blog.  So keep hitting F5, and every 10 minutes or so, you'll get an updated, uuh, blog.

(2) I also live within a mile of the Cerner redevelopment in South KC.  I routinely lose WiFi (and electricity ... and water ... and for a lovely week and a half last winter, sewer) access from time to time.  So if it takes me a minute to reload, I apologize.

But if you lived in District Six?

You'd tolerate it like I do.

Because God bless, this part of town is going to be worth living in again, come 18 months from now ...

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OK, what in the hell is David Axelrod doing at the RNC?  I mean Christ, can you even ATTEMPT to be unbiased, CNN?

I mean, is FOX going to have Karl Rove on their coverage?

(Pause).

Oh.

Guess I'll let this one slide ...

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For the grizzled veterans this is unnecessary ... but if you've drunken Google or stoned Twitter stumbled onto this site, welcome!

I'll live blog until I either (a) get too bored to do it, or (b) get so inspired that I want to just watch the convention unfold.  (Go to August 2012 and August 2008 in the sites archives, to see that I mean that.)

I'm guessing tonight, (a) is going to happen.  Because this is beyond boring right now.

Having said that ... Mr. Axelrod is actually quite fair and balanced so far tonight.  I'm utterly stunned.

And ... Antonio Sabada Junior.  As CNN notes "Former Underwear Model".  And he's concerned about our country's future.

(stevo banging his head on his coffee table ...)

I mean really?  THIS is who you open 9pm ET with, a "former underwear model"?  

I'm ... I'm ... I'm ...

"Donald Trump is for unity!"  Yeah, and I'm for sobriety.

Wait -- a speaker at the REPUBLICAN convention just said government has responsibility?  I thought government was the great evil in the room?

What a waste.  They should have put Scott Baio here.  Sh*t, they should have put Don King here; it couldn't have been worse.

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I almost hate to do this, but Live Blog Night Uno is over.  Just got a call I have to take that is gonna take at least thirty minutes.

You'll have my thoughts on Mrs. Trump's speech tomorrow, as well as anything else that occurs.

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