week 16: ready to feel the joy ...

"Joy to the world!
The Lord is come!
Let earth?
Receive her King!

Let every heart,
Prepare Him room!
And heaven and nature sing!
And heaven and nature sing!
And heaven, and heaven,
And nature sing! ..."

-- "Joy To The World".

--------------------

Last Week SU: 12-4-0.
Season to Date SU: 136-88-0.

Last Week ATS: 7-6-3.
Season to Date ATS: 124-89-11.

Last Week Upset / Week: the one that mattered hit.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 6-11-0 SU; 8-8-1 ATS.
This Week's Upset / Week: raiders (+9) over Eagles.

The Non-Chiefs, Non-Jets Predictions:

* at Ravens 17, Colts (+13 1/2) 14.  "Gordon Shumway Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Packers (+9) 24, Vikings 14.
* Lions (-4) 38, at Bengals 10.
* at Titans (+7) 27, Rams 24.
* at Bears 2, Browns (+6) 0.  "Good Times Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Panthers (-10) 35, Buccaneers 14.
* at Saints (-7) 31, "Shane" Falcons 13.
* at Redskins (-3 1/2) 23, those people 14.  "Webster Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Patriots 34, Bills (+11) 27.
* Jaguars (-4) 41, at 49ers 13.
* at "Super" Cardinals (-4) 13, Giants 6.  "Empty Nest Game O' The Week" honors.
* at Cowboys (-5) 34, Seahawks 21.
* Steelers (-9) 38, at Texans 13.  "Designing Women Game O' The Week" honors.
* raiders (+9) 34, at Eagles 21.

The "Klassy" Kevin Keitzman Tweet O' The Week:

In the spirit of the season, I'll give him a pass.

The Watching Party Plans:

There are no The Watching Party Plans, as this is a Chiefs game I will be in attendance for.

The Tailgating Plans:

As of now, we are keeping things simple: burgers and dogs, assorted side dishes, and as many warm beverages as possible.  I have to admit, I am not ready for the cold, and I am not ready for snow.  The first arrives tonight here in KC; the second arrives Sunday morning. 

We will have the tents set up, and heaters going, ASAFP on Sunday morning.  Because nobody, and I mean NOBODY, hates the cold more than me.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm ready to move somewhere, where the idea of putting a shirt ON when getting out of bed in the morning, seems like the most ridiculous idea of all time.

If you need a place to tailgate, a bite to eat, a beer to drink, or just a place to duck in and warm up for a few minutes, as always, anyone who wishes to join in the fun, tomfoolery, and hijinks, is welcome to join us.

"Disreputable Mexican Food Truck" Update:

I got nothing.

The Jets Best Guess:

I don't got much.

* "Super" Chargers (-7) 31, at Jets 20.

The Chiefs Prognostication:

As for my pick ... here's the dilemma.

The Chiefs have been favored by at least ten points at two different times this year.  And they lost both games outright, to the Giants and the Jets.  

The Chiefs opened as a ten point favorite (it's down to eight at last check) this week.  So that worries me.  

Dolphins quarterback Jay Cutler has lost exactly once to the Chiefs in his career.  He went 3-1 for those people, and was 1-0 with the Bears.  That concerns me.

Adam Gase, the Dolphins head coach, has had tremendous success against the Chiefs -- he's 7-0 in his career as the offensive coordinator for those people and the Bears against us.  That terrifies me.

And there's history -- the Chiefs have never won back to back division titles before.  They've won three in five years ... but never back to back.

(That one really terrifies me, because every other team in the division entering the 2000 season has won at least three in a row of their current division, since the 2000 season began.  Yes, even the raiders.)

Throw in a flu bug apparently going around One Arrowhead Drive, and the makings are there for a terrifying upset that derails everything Week Seventeen should be about.  (Namely, tears streaming down my face due to either (a) Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" making his debut, or (b) a fan or three of those people beating the f*ck out of me.  Oh fake mile high, never stop being you!)

But I honestly think the forecast (snow Saturday night / Sunday morning, barely freezing by kickoff), coupled with a boozed-up, hopefully fired-up crowd ducking (as I am) as many family get-togethers as possible, will deliver the win against a team used to playing in a sauna at kickoff.

To say nothing of the fact that a Chiefs win officially eliminates the raiders from playoff consideration.  I trust "Fat" Andy will stress that in the pregame speech.  Because when you have a chance to bury your hated rival?  Don't f*ck up the opportunity.

* at Chiefs (-8) 48, Dolphins 13.  If you're coming out?  Do your job.  It's colder outside right now here in KC (I am typing this on Friday night -- it's currently 31 degrees and cloudy with little to no wind), than it will be at kickoff on Sunday (supposed to be mid 30s, sunny, with little to no wind).  Show up, stand, and witness something no Chiefs fan ever has before -- a second straight division title.

And then get ready for a day we've waited for, for literally a generation, next Sunday: a Chiefs drafted quarterback winning a start for this franchise.  It will be merely the first of many, many wins, for Patrick Mahomes ...