six days out

"Hey girl?
It's now or never!
It's now or never!
Don't overthink -- Just let it go!

And if we get together?
Yeah, get together?
Don't let the pictures
Leave your phone!

Yeah!
We'll be doing what we do!
Just pretending that we're cool!
And so tonight?

Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy
'Til we see the sun!
I know we only met,
But let's pretend it's love!

And never, never, never
Stop for anyone!
Tonight?  Let's get some!
And live while we're young! ..."

-- "Live While We're Young" by One Direction.

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And so, the first playoff game for the Red and Gold is set.  Deshaun Watson and his Houston Texans will be invading Arrowhead Stadium at approximately 2pm CT on Sunday afternoon.

Frankly folks, if you can't get geeked up to see Deshaun and Patrick Mahomes "Of The Chiefs" go at it for what I can only hope and pray is the first of many epic postseason clashes, then you should question whether or not you truly love this sport.

A few quick updates regarding Sunday (at least, the few details I know as of now), then a few cool statisticals I stumbled upon today regarding our Red and Gold that somehow, someway, has me even more fired up for Sunday than I imagined I could get.

And we're still six days out!

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* "Uncle" Bob, "Cousin" Chase, and however the hell Pat fits into the equation, are returning for this one.  They booked the flight and bought the tickets this morning.  I for one am thrilled by this: the Chiefs are 5-0 the last five times the Jersey branch of the "family" has shown up for a Chiefs game, including this year's 30-3 ass-whipping of those people in the snow.

As someone constantly looking for positive signs regarding this team, I'd like to think that their attendance?  Is a positive sign.

* "My Special Little Guy" is most likely attending his first playoff game.  That ... is awesome.  If he thinks Unca Teve is a tad bit insane for a random early November game against the Vikings, in the words of Bachman Turner Overdrive: "he ain't seen nothing yet!"

* No word yet on the menu.  We're honestly torn on this one.  Some of us want to do a breakfast theme, since it's easy to make, and easy to clean up, and let's face it: as has been noted about my tailgate many a time, "we're drinkers, not eaters".  But some of us want to do Tex-Mex, since it is a Texas team coming in.

Personally, I don't care; I tend to graze during tailgating, then chow down after the game.  But if I had to bet at this point ... sh*t, bet on a ton of Gates or Bryant's (or both!), with some Hooters wings thrown in for show.

* The weather looks about as perfect as you can ask for: mid 40s, little to no wind, plenty of sunshine.  Thank God.  Both playoff games last year sucked weather wise (especially Indy -- hey, you come home to no power for four f*cking days when it's in the single digits with a foot of snow outside, and tell me how you'd feel!), and the last three home games have been miserable weather wise (although beating the living sh*t out of those people in the snow, is amongst my five favorite Chiefs moments of the decade ... and certainly in my top twenty seven favorite Chiefs games ever).  So if you're on the fence on whether to "brave the elements" or not, please -- if you're rooting for the Chiefs?  Brave them.

(Doubt me on that?  Here's New Tito "braving the elements" on Day Two of Power Outage 2019 last January:

(image credit: me, via my iPhone X something.)

* I see we get Nantz and Romo.  Dammit.  I wanted "The Bird and the Beard".  Or, in a dream world, Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon.  Oh well.  I guess expecting perfection for everything this week was a crack pipe dream anyway.

* No STM email yet, but I would wager the Chiefs will set the gate opening for 8am CT ... and they'll be wide, wide open by 7am, if not even sooner.  Speaking of which ...

* As of now, The Bus departs at 6am, for anyone who wishes to avoid paying whatever insane amount the Jackson County Sports Authority will charge for parking.  At last count there were nine riding out on The Bus, and eight riding out on Mahomies Bus.  Gonna be one fun tailgate!

* I plan to post an update every day leading into this, because I've rarely if ever been more fired up for a game than I am for Sunday.

I prayed it would be Watson vs Mahomes.  (Let's all hope and pray God didn't answer my prayer just to f*ck with me, because let's face it, that'd be a typical thing in my life.)  I got Watson vs Mahomes.  This is going to be ... hang on.

I don't get to haul this one out as much as I should.

Ladies and gentlemen, the late, great, Mr. Hugh M. Hefner!

(the late, great Mr. Hugh M. Hefner voice) Thanks Stevo!  Folks?  This is going to be something ... REALLY special!

Thanks Hugh.  Feel free to leave the robe behind for your good buddy typing this.

And today's update, or at least the close to it, is three awesome statisticals -- two of which I honestly didn't believe, when I first saw and/or realized them.

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* First, can you name the only team to reach the Elite Eight in the NFL postseason the last two years?

That's right peoples and peepettes -- it is your (and our) Kansas City Chiefs.

Last year's Elite Eight was the Patriots (eliminated Saturday), Chiefs (still alive), "Super" Chargers (failed to qualify), Colts (failed to qualify), Saints (eliminated Sunday), Rams (failed to qualify), Cowboys (failed to qualify), and Eagles (eliminated Sunday).

* Second, the Chiefs are guaranteed a rematch, no matter who they play, until they (please, God, please) reach the Super Bowl.

(And there's a fairly decent shot, they will face nothing but rematches, for as long as the season continues.)

Why, you ask, does that matter to me?

Because you give "Fat" Andy Reid a second crack at you, in the same season?

Good things tend to happen ... for the Chiefs * .

The Chiefs have already faced the Ravens, Titans, and Texans.  And on the NFC side, they've already faced the Packers and Vikings.

I love how this is setting up for the Red and Gold.  I absolutely love it.

(*: probably more on this on Wednesday.  I already have tomorrow's statisticals update locked and loaded.)

* Finally ... there are only two teams who have reached the NFL's Elite Eight four of the last five years.  One of those teams is your New England Patriots.

The other?

(norm macdonald voice) You guessed it -- Frank Stallone!

No wait -- you guessed it.  The Kansas City Chiefs:

You gotta love it.

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We'll meet again tomorrow, the Good Lord and my liver willing.

(Pause).  What?  (Pause).  Well of course I know which one I'd bet on crapping out tonight!  And it ain't the Almighty ...