Baby? I can take my time!
We don't ever have to fight --
Just take it step by step!
I can see it in your eyes,
'Cause they never tell me lies.
I can feel that body shake,
And the heat between your legs!
You've been scared of love,
And what it did to you.
You don't have to run;
I know what you've been through!
Just a simple touch,
And it can set you free.
We don't have to rush?
When you're alone with me!
I feel it coming!
I feel it coming babe!
I feel it coming!
I feel it coming babe!
I feel it coming!
I feel it coming babe!
I feel it coming!
I feel it coming babe! ..."
-- "I Feel It Coming" by The Weeknd. Oh hell yes, it's coming! It's so coming, come 2pm Central Time Sunday afternoon ...
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The Chiefs and the Texans have met eleven prior times in their respective franchises' histories -- which given that the Texans
The teams have split five apiece in the regular season, and the Chiefs have won the only playoff game up until Sunday (2015 Wild Card). The Chiefs have a winning record at NRG Reliant (4-3-0 regular season; 1-0-0 postseason); the Texans have a winning record at Arrowhead (2-1-0 regular season, including Week Six of this season).
Here is a handy dandy spreadsheet detailing the eleven prior matchups, and other (possibly) relevant information about those matchups:
So, after a few quick updates as to where things stand for Sunday, here is one (not even remotely) talented blogger's opinion, on how these eleven matchups rank, worst to first.
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(*: I was going to say "old enough to buy cigarettes" ... but thanks to this ridiculous raise of the legal age to twenty one, they aren't. Seriously, if you can't figure out putting something that is literally ON FIRE in your mouth is probably not good for you? (Pause). On second thought, this is probably a good thing.)
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Tuesday Updates:
* Still no STM Email Update from "de Los Jefes". Hopefully tomorrow we'll get some logisticals out of these people. It's hard to inform people of a departure time when you don't know your arrival time.
* So Wornall is closed (headed south anyways) at 59th Street, and you have to either turn right to Ward Parkway, or east to Brookside Boulevard, to get through to 63rd Street. I know, I know -- road construction in my part of town. Nothing new. After all, I post the "Stevo Neighborhood Update" section of the picks post every week to b*tch about the construction in my part of town.
Having said that ... I dropped a few naughty words ** , and turned left, then right onto Brookside Boulevard. And folks, let me tell you, that four, five block stretch, from 59th to Meyer? Damned near every house has a Chiefs flag flying from it. One house had yellow and red flowers all along the walkway -- and remember, it's January 7th in Kansas City! Those bad boys had to be bought and paid for, to have a bloom, let alone life, at this time of the year!
Such a cool commute.
Also, the pedestrian walkway over Brush Creek in front of the Raphael is lined with nothing but Chiefs flags, "The Mural" on the south wall of The Ale House looks glorious in the early morning sunlight, and oh yeah -- the Seven Foot Mahomes Bobblehead will be at JC Nichols Fountain from 2pm-5pm CT on Thursday.
This city is damned near ready!
Now we just gotta get the folks at Bunker to loan a few jerseys to Founders Plaza like they usually do for the big games. Those three fellas look naked without the Mahomes, Kelce, and Mathieu jerseys on them ...
* The menu has been decided! I think. And in true Stevo-style, we are compromising to make everyone happy enough to show up.
The "main course" Texan Tenderloin, that you can make sandwiches with, or eat as a primary dish on its' own, or use as a garnish for your Bloody Mary, whatever's clever -- we don't judge.
We'll also have a pot of either chili or taco soup, whichever one I feel like making Saturday afternoon, for those who think 40 at kickoff is "too cold". (Hint: wager on taco soup.)
For the folks who desire to do breakfast, Mahomies is filling that void via breakfast burritos made to order.
And the Springfield folks are handling side items, dips, and desserts.
So there's your menu a hundred some hours out.
(Yo, Democrat National Committee! When you have a brokered convention in six months? I'm your man to settle the debate!)
* Also, Harry's apparently has a massive sale on craft and upper-echelon domestic beers. The Second Mom and I are making a (todd snyder voice) B Double E Double R U N Beer Run! Beer Run!, tomorrow after work. I have a sneaky suspicion there's gonna be some Shiner Bock in my cooler (jimmy buffett voice) Come Sunday.
And ... that's all I've got.
On to the list!
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(**: specifically, I dropped my new favorite phrase, loudly: "son of a c*nt!", then pounded the steering wheel. I had the roof open and the windows down on New Tito today (hey, it nearly hit 60 here today in the sun!). The lady next to me at the stoplight, actually busted up laughing, hearing that phrase. Whew. I was scared she'd think I was referring to her, and chuck her Claw-in-a-discreet-cup at me.)
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I should note up front, looking at this, I only see three of these eleven I did not attend in person ... I think. I know I was not there for the Sunday Nighter in 2005 (I could afford one of those back to back roadies (with two home games in between), Dallas or Houston, and I opted for Dallas), and I was not there for the Sunday Nighter in 2017 (I had just started my current job three weeks earlier, and couldn't take the PTO).
I'm also reasonably sure I was not there in 2003. Although, you know, a decade of toking and imbibing tends to kill otherwise healthy brain cells.
The other eight I know I was in attendance for ... with nine upcoming on Sunday, and ten upcoming at NRG Reliant next fall (the Chiefs will play at Houston in the 2020 season).
Anyways, here's how I rank the eleven matchups so far ... and it's a safe bet, a hundred hours out, that Sunday will probably fall into the top three, by the time the game is over ...
11. Texans 24, at Chiefs 21, Week Three 2004.
No recap -- sh*t, this game was back when I was sending out the recaps on company email. (Good Times! *** ) For personal reasons, this one will probably always rank dead last in any Chiefs / Texans game list countdown. This was the last home game for Chiefs Football as I knew it growing up, and into my post-college years. It seems impossible to believe this was over fifteen years ago now.
(***: as always, I can make any post porn-friendly ... or "greatest sitcom of all time" friendly.)
The only game that even comes close on the sh*t-o-meter?
10. at Texans 20, Chiefs 3, Week One 2007.
There's a recap for this one! It was worse than you remember. It was worse than I remember. It was worse than anyone you can think of, can remember. For like five brief minutes, we had a reason to believe. Then Justin Medlock blew a twenty something yard field goal, Matt Schaub completed a few quality passes, and the next thing you knew, Clay Walker was informing us that he "knows what love is; what's it to you?" during his halftime performance, and after one of the most uninspired performances on the field by the Red and Gold I've ever had the misfortune to pay to witness, we emerged from NRG Reliant to a 93 degree afternoon ... and a monsoon. (Pause). What? (Pause). Well hell yes, that was the best part of the day! You ever stand outside in the rain when it's hot as hell outside? It's refreshing! Why the hell do you think seeing Ben Harper on a 95 degree rainy evening back in 2006 ranks as one of my three or four favorite concerts ever, Ms. Non-Existent Editor Dudette?
9. at Texans 19, Chiefs 12, Week Two 2016.
This game was eight layers of awful on both sides. But perhaps it's best remembered as Tyreek Hill's coming out party: he took a punt to the house for what would have been the tying score, only an extremely shady and questionable holding call negated the play. (What is it with the 2016 season and "extremely shady and questionable holding calls negating the play", uuh, playing such a huge role on the season's final outcome? Damn!) Anyways, I'll trade a Week Two loss for the career Tyreek has had. And I guarantee you every other Chiefs fan would as well.
8. at Texans 35, Chiefs 31, Week Six 2010.
I remember it rained the whole drive home, and I caught the flu and was in bed for a week. I also remember the Chiefs led by two scores with four minutes to go, and somehow lost.
(peter griffin voice) I've had better days, Lois. I've had better days.
7. Chiefs 27, at Texans 20, Week One 2015.
The first defensive play was a Marcus Peters INT. Travis Kelce had two early touchdowns. And yet, there stood Ryan Mallett, almost with a shot to tie the game. I really believed 2015 -- and in the moment, that game -- was going to prove me right about Ryan Mallett. Instead? You guessed it. I'm a f*cking idiot.
6. Chiefs 45, at Texans 17, Week Eleven 2005.
LJ had over two hundred yards. The easy win set up two of the best home games of the century so far (26-16 over the Patriots; 31-27 over those people), and vaulted the Chiefs back into AFC West and AFC Wild Card contention.
(They'd fall one game short of either entry way, into the playoffs.)
5. Chiefs 42, at Texans 14, Week Three 2003.
All three units scored in this one for the Chiefs. That's a complete team victory.
4. Texans 31, at Chiefs 24, Week Six 2019.
I hate ranking a defeat this high, especially one where the Chiefs led 17-3 after the first quarter, especially one that occurred less than three months ago, and really especially one where the rematch will occur in less than one hundred hours. And yet, here we are.
Because Deshaun Watson was that awesome, in the second half.
3. Chiefs 42, at Texans 34, Week Five 2017.
Arguably the best game of "Sir" Alex Smith's Chiefs career. Given my respect for that man, that's saying a lot out of me.
2. at Chiefs 17, Texans 16, Week Seven 2013.
I still stand behind every damned word of this post. Even if, in hindsight, this was one royally "f*cked up eight ways from Sunday" weekend personally.
1. Chiefs 30, at Texans 0, AFC Wild Card 2015.
Ditto. Except without the bat sh*t crazy personal stuff.
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Coming tomorrow (hopefully): a look at "Fat" Andy Reid's (shalamar voice) "second time around" against opponents in the same season. (Note: not as good as I thought it would be ...)
And also, please keep my neighbor Joe in your thoughts and prayers. I have to attend his brother, my other neighbor to the south, I have to attend his funeral tomorrow. John passed away of cancer last Thursday. He moved in two years ago to take care of Joe, who is also dying of cancer. It will not be a happy day in South Waldo, I can assure you of that.
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Until tomorrow:
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