the week two predictions

Spare me the criticisms -- I am still working on the Monday nighter recap. I hope to have it done by tomorrow. There's a lot I wanted to say, and I haven't finished editing / revising / improving it. Give it some time. A game that epic deserves an epic recap ...

Last Week SU: 13-3-0
Season to Date SU: 13-3-0

Last Week ATS: 8-7-1
Season to Date ATS: 8-7-1

Last Week Upset / Week: oy.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 0-1
This Week's Upset / Week: Jaguars (+7) over Chargers.

The Week Two Non-Chiefs Predictions:

at Packers (-13) 31, Bills 6.
at Vikings (-5 1/2) 21, Dolphins 13.
Falcons 20, at Cardinals (+6 1/2) 17.
at Bengals (+2 1/2) 31, Ravens 27.
at Cowboys (-7 1/2) 34, Bears 20.
at Titans (-5 1/2) 31, Steelers 6.
at Panthers (-3 1/2) 27, Bucs 3.
at Lions (+6 1/2) 13, Eagles 10.
at broncos (-3 1/2) 31, Seahawks 24.
at raiders (-3 1/2) 21, Rams 13.
Jaguars (+7) 31, at Chargers 23.
at Redskins (+3) 17, Texans 14.
at Colts (-5) 34, Giants 13.
at 49ers (+5) 16, Saints 13.

The Jets Prediction:

Like sweating out what is shaping up to be a benchmark game of the season for the Chiefs won't be stressful enough. Then I get this doozy.

For the other team I root for, the math is simple. You cannot open 0-2 at home, 0-2 in the conference, and 0-1 in the division, and expect to be a factor for the postseason. Especially when your next four are at Dolphins (Sunday nighter), at Bills (our house of horrors), vs Vikings (Monday nighter), and at broncos (gulp). If the Jets p*ss this one away, they're legitimately staring 1-5 or 0-6 in the face entering the bye come week seven. (And the first game back after the bye? The Packers at home. Yikes).

at Jets (+3) 24, Patriots 21. I have no idea how the Jets win this thing. I just know that they have to.

The Chiefs Prediction:

The theme I was going to go with (its not old school -- its new school ...), is what is so heavy in my soon-to-be posted recap of the Chargers game. So I'm not going to do some motivational deal here for the pick. But I do think this team has turned the corner. Which means that this prediction, this game, is really very simple.

If the Chiefs are a legitimate, credible threat to win the AFC West, they find a way to win this game. Spare me the "short week" talk. Ignore the "its the Browns home opener" bull. Legitimate playoff teams go on the road and beat crappy squads. Whether it be by a point, or a plethora of points, it doesn't matter. Playoff caliber teams go on the road and leave the Cleveland's of the world with a W.

I am fully aware that Cleveland is our house of horrors. We always lose there. The 2006 loss should have ended the Chiefs playoff hopes. The 2002 win should have been a loss, and would be 99 times out of 100 (because 99 NFL linebackers out of 100 would have the common sense to keep the helmet on. Or at least not chuck it 25 yards down the field while the play was still going. I'm guessing Dwayne Rudd will not be one of the 16 inductees into the Browns Hall of Fame at halftime).

The 1995 loss was a joke -- we lost to a team that had already quit on the season after the moving announcement. The 1989 loss, via three missed field goals in overtime, cost us the playoffs.

None of that should matter, because the Browns are, in the words of Charles Barkley, a TURRIBLE football team. CBS knows it -- they sent us Don Criqui and Steve Buere"lein King" to call this one. You know, the Gruesome Twosome. A duo so horrendous at their jobs, that I once devoted multiple paragraphs of a postgame recap just to detail every mistake and idiocy they uttered. Even the weather knows how awful the Browns are -- the predicted forecast is 67 and rain. (Gee, sound familiar? I think we just sat through a game like that ...)

(And I'm also gonna predict, the NFL knows how awful this one might be. I predict we get Triplette as the ref. There's no way we're getting someone competent. Its gotta be Triplette).

We'll know a lot about this team come 3:30 on Sunday afternoon. Hell, we've already seen just how huge the changes this offseason were -- read this outstanding look at the in-game coaching of Todd Haley by Peter King this morning. If he keeps this up, I might have to rethink his asshat status. (Emphasis on "might").

Chiefs (+2) 24, at Browns 13.