my 27 favorite chiefs plays of my lifetime

"Like a storm?  Time rolls on.

You can't hit pause, as we just did.

Most days in life?  Don't stand out.

But life's about those days, that will, like --

Rocking rando!  Getting rowdy!

Shooting roman candles

At the man on the moon,

'Til the Alabama sun was breaking ...

Over Talladega!

Boys raise up!

The whiskey in your glass!

Here's to turnin' up!

Slowin' down!

And cars that go real fast!

We were laughing and living,

And drinking and wishing,

And thinking as that 

Checkered flag was waving ...

Sure would like to stay here ...

Talladega ..."

-- "Talladega" by Eric Church.  

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ESPN has a feature up right now, where fans of various NFL teams, can vote on what the best play in franchise history is. 

But narrowing down the Red and Gold's history to three plays to pick from, is infuriating.  Insulting.  There's so many classics to (ralph wiggum voice) choo-choo-choose from, that, well, here you go. 

Stevo's Favorite 27 Plays in Chiefs History.

(The Chiefs numero uno selection by ESPN will surprise noone ... although it is not my top choice.  Hence the reason for the post.)

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I am placing only one rule on this list: the play had to have occurred, while I was alive.  That knocks out everything prior to the 1977 season.

Enjoy?

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27. Christian Okoye's 4th and Goal Plunge.

When: Week 1, 1990, vs Vikings.

Why Ranked: because while October 6, 1991, is the night every Chiefs fan can proudly (and deservedly) point to as the moment this franchise finally reached national relevance after twenty years of nothingness, this play is the moment, when Kansas City really began to buy into what Carl and Marty were selling.

The Vikings were a very popular pick entering the 1990 season to win the Super Bowl.  They were coming off a NFC Norris championship the year before, and now had Herschel Walker for a full season.  The Chiefs were trailing 21-17 midway through the fourth quarter, and faced a fourth and goal at the Vikings two yard line. 

Marty gambled and went for it.  Christian Okoye hit the line, and then went over the top, for what turned into the winning touchdown. 

This was one of those plays that at the time, was pretty neat ... but when you look back twenty five years later and put it into perspective, you realize just how massive a part it played, in creating Terrorhead in the 1990s.

26. Larry Johnson Gets the Diapers Taken Off.

When: Week 9, 2005, vs raiders.

Why Ranked: because this was as great as a rivalry game gets.  Chiefs trailing by three, three seconds remaining, first and goal to go after a long catch-and-run by Larry Johnson on the play before.  This is what you call "gut check time" -- take the gimme field goal and go to overtime, or gamble the season on one play.  (The Chiefs entered at 4-3; the raiders entered at 3-4.)

Dick Vermeil gambled the season on one play.  And Larry Johnson went in untouched.  The offensive line cleared out every defender within a four yard radius of Larry Johnson.  There's a great picture that the Star used the next morning, that shows the view from the side, and in it, you see Tony Richardson is LOOKING for someone to block, only there's nobody in front of him to throw a body on, that's how amazing a job the o-line did on this play. 

Oh, and that was one of the funnest post-game tailgate celebrations, I've ever been privileged, to be a part of.

25. Dante Hall's Most Underrated Return.

When: Week 4, 2003, at Ravens.

Why Ranked: most Chiefs fans remember the situation -- the Ravens have just tied the game at ten with less than five minutes to play.  And most people remember Dante Hall was untouched on the return to the end zone -- hell, he had a convoy of would-be blockers following him, he so blew past the coverage unit.

What most Chiefs fans fail to remember ... is that Dante did his deal, on the second attempt.  A decent return thirty seconds earlier was nullified via an offside penalty on the Ravens, and the Chiefs opted to make the Ravens re-kick.  To outrun the coverage like Dante did, not even a minute after sprinting fifty yards and getting taken down, still blows my mind eleven years later.

24. Where Dwayne Rudd Happens.

When: Week 1, 2002, at Browns.

Why Ranked: if anything, this one might be ten spots too low.  To this day, it’s the single most unexpected victory in franchise history.  The Chiefs trailed 39-37, were at midfield, and had time for one play.  Somehow John Tait wound up with the football, took off down the sideline, before being knocked down at about the Browns twenty yard line.  As Ian Eagle noted during the run: “there’s a flag on the field”.  In Western Shawnee, this hot as hell (at the time) 25 year old and "The Voice of Reason" had no doubt what it was for: illegal touching.

I’ve rarely been happier, to have been wrong … because that flag wasn’t the only thing on the field, as that play unfolded.

Because Browns LB Dwayne Rudd, believing he had ended the game when he knocked Trent Green down, stood up with pride, ripped his helmet off, and threw it down the field in celebration.

As Dan Dierdorf (who was the first to notice it) noted: “what a gaffe!”

That gaffe, combined with the “half the distance to the goal” penalty, set up one untimed down, one thirty yard field goal attempt, for the Chiefs to win the game.

Nothing but net.  Chiefs 40, Browns 39, in a game so epically good (even without the final play), that as Jason Whitlock noted in his recap of the game the following morning in the Star: “let them play again.  Let them play forever.”

And yes -- as "The Voice of Reason" can confirm, my "Special Little Puppy" really was so frightened by our reaction to this win, that he hid inside the coffee table, after peeing all over the carpet.  Ain't we lucky we got 'em?  Good Times!

23. The “Costliest” Goalline Stand in Franchise History.

When: Week 8, 1999, vs Chargers.

Why Ranked: because former electronics retailer Brandsmart, had offered one helluva deal that summer – if the Chiefs shut out the Chargers (on Halloween Day), then all your purchases from them of over $300 were free.

I’ve heard Arrowhead loud.  I’ve felt Arrowhead shake.  I’m not sure I have EVER heard the lower bowl in the west end zone (hey, that's where I sit!) louder, than when the Chargers went for it on 4^th and goal, trailing 24-0.  Millions of dollars rode on that play.  Millions.  So many millions, that Brandsmart was gone-zo as a franchise within a couple more years.  

Because the Chiefs defense held.

And as a random footnote: this game also featured the only touchdown Derrick Thomas would score, in his NFL career.  Now THAT is a stat, no Chiefs fan would see coming.

22. “Oh Say Can You See …”

When: Week 6, 1991, vs Bills.

Why Ranked: because it’s the moment that changed this franchise’s history.  It’s the moment this team arrived, at least in my lifetime. 

The moment Patti DiParto-Livergood walked to midfield, grabbed that microphone, and delivered the most epic, inspirational, “’Merica!  F*ck Yeah!” motivational rendition of the National Anthem, you’ll ever hear. 

Simply put, it kicked off four bleeping hours, of Arrowhead’s greatest night.  And kicked off isn’t fair; the party began LONG before, Ms. DiParto-Livergood, ensured that night would be one no Chiefs fan would ever forget.

There are many days in this amazing gift from God called life, that I cherish.  Few do I remember more fondly, than Monday, October 6, 1991.

21. Third and Forty Eight?  Third and Forty Eight.

When: Week 6, 2014, vs raiders.

Why Ranked: because when in your life have you ever seen a 3rd and 48?  Because it damned near became 4^th and 62, as terrelle pryor barely got rid of the ball before Eric Berry and Allen Bailey leveled him?  Because the ensuing raiders punt on 4^th and 48, was so pathetic, the Chiefs actually started their next drive, ahead of where the raiders began their previous one?  Or because …

… of all the games against oakland, few will ever have more meaning for me, than last year’s, for personal reasons.  That was the worst week of my life.  I pray none of you reading this ever have to endure a week like that second week in October last fall.  I will always be grateful something happened in that game, that I not only will never forget, but that I will probably never see again in my life.  A unique, once in a lifetime moment.  A simple little “I hear ya dude, and I’ve got ya” shoutout, from the man above.

As I’ve noted before many times – I do not believe in coincidence.  Third and Forty Eight.  Sometimes, as I’m being more and more forced to admit and acknowledge?  God is amazing.

20. The Phumble.

When: Week 8, 2011, vs Chargers.

Why Ranked: because other than the “Mistake By the Lake” to open the 2002 season, has there ever been another Chiefs game you can recall, where we were 100% guaranteed to lose barring something unbelievable occurring, that the unbelievable occurred?

All San Diego had to do was run out the clock.  All Phyllis Rivers had to do was take a knee, call timeout thirty five seconds later, and have Nick Novak drill the 25 yarder for the win.

Only, Phyllis botched the center exchange, and when Andy Studebaker emerged from the pile, holding that football high to the sky, giving that 2011 season one last gasp at salvation?

Of COURSE the postgame fireworks went off.  Again – I don’t believe in coincidence folks.

And speaking of Monday Night epic finishes against your San Diego “Super” Chargers …

19. Tuesday Morning Football.

When: Week 1, 2010, vs Chargers.

Why Ranked: because – and if you were there, you know exactly what I am going to say – because after three of the most god-forsaken, horrific, unbearable, unwatchable, repulsive seasons in franchise history, the Chiefs were in position, to finally tip the balance of power in the division, away from The Q, and back to Arrowhead.  A game, a day, that saw everything – up to and including a freaking monsoon for most of the second half – now came down to a 4^th and goal play at 12:13am on Tuesday morning.

Gotta admit, I’m getting a little choked up remembering the walk up the ramp, just thinking about how magical that moment was.  For one brief moment, the Pioli / Hobo era mattered:

Oh, and don’t worry folks – we’re not down with epic moments against the Chargers on Monday Night Football.  Stay tuned.

18. Derrick Alexander Closes Down Real Mile High Properly.

When: Week 4, 2000.

Why Ranked: because after trailing 16-3 to end the third quarter, in the final Chiefs / satan’s squad game played at Real Mile High, the Chiefs put on a comeback for the ages – the defense forced seven – SEVEN! – donkey turnovers, and Elvis Grbac hit Derrick Alexander on one of the most beautiful seam routes you’ll ever see, to grab a 23-22 lead with less than three minutes to play.  Marvcus Patton sealed the win a few minutes later with the fifth interception, and seventh turnover, the Chiefs D forced that day.

But that play … that might be the most epic seam route, you’ll ever see … because the donkeys were convinced the ball was going to the receiver who started in the seam slot, Tony Gonzalez.  (horrific musician whose name escapes me voice) “Are You Jimmy Raye?” had “Frank”* and Derrick shift three yards off the line of scrimmage.  The donkeys D went with “Frank”.  And the Chiefs closed down what was the finest home field advantage in football, the way it should be closed down – in abject defeat, misery, and horror, for the home team.

(*: "Frank" is my college roommate, who in a drunken state of mind one night, "The Voice of Reason", decided to call him Tony Gonzalez.  I gotta admit -- even wasted out of his mind, Mr. Reason makes sense ... because Frank did look like Mr. Gonzalez, right down to having a physical fitness about him, that ensured I wasn't taking the cutest girl in the bar home, whenever we'd hit up said bar, my last three years at TCU.)

17. tim brown tackled at the goalline.

When: Week 7, 2003, at raiders.

Why Ranked: because tim brown caught marques tuaisosopu’s Hail Mary, and Jerome Woods tackled him … less than three inches from the goalline. 

And also, because to this day, the “punt or go for 4^th and 1 at midfield” that preceded this final raiders drive, is the second ugliest “debate” Mr. Reason and I have ever had, regarding the Chiefs. 

(The “ugliest” being my fifteen minute passioned demand the Chiefs draft Aaron Rodgers at 15 in 2005; Mr. Reason’s fifteen minute passioned demand the Chiefs draft Derrick Johnson at 15 in 2005.  It is, to this day, the only argument I’ve ever had with Mr. Reason, where I was proven 100% correct … at least in hindsight.  Although we both were ecstatic with joy, when the Chiefs spent their fifth rounder twenty some odd hours later, on a linebacker named James Grigsby.  Man, I miss the way things used to be, sometimes.  (grandma grigsby to donkey fans voice) you’re all assholes!)

16. “Not Even Santa Claus Can Save the denver broncos Today!”

When: Week 17, 1992, vs broncos.

Why Ranked: because in a de-facto playoff game (winner’s in, loser’s out), the Chiefs DESTROYED the denver broncos, 42-20.  And not just destroyed – demolished.  The quote referenced above, was by Chiefs play-by-play man Kevin Harlan, after DT stripped john elway in the end zone, and Joe Phillips recovered the fumble, to put the Chiefs up 35-13, early in the 4^th quarter.

In the interest of fairness, this is not only one of my five favorite games I’ve ever witnessed … I still laugh out loud whenever this one pops up, at seeing john elway giving dan reeves the “if murder was legal, we’d need a body bag right now … and given where we’re playing, I might get acquitted, giving who I’m killing” death stare the entire second half, on the sideline.  

Your 1992 denver broncos everyone!!!

15. “And Joe Bugle is just about apoplectic … There’s the President of the Chiefs (cue Carl Peterson with a “F*CK YOU OAKLAND!” grin of sinful pleasure on his face) … And Andre Rison has just about burned al davis’ house down!  If you know what I mean / Unfortunately, we do!”

When: Week 2, 1997, at raiders.

Why Ranked: because it’s one of the greatest plays in franchise history – Elvis Grbac leads the Chiefs on an 80 yard drive, with :58 to play, with (dan dierdorf voice) “no TO’s”, capped by a 33 yard bomb to Andre Rison, with :03 remaining, to steal a 28-27 win in a game the Chiefs trailed 24-6 early in the third quarter.

I have rarely reacted to a victory, like I did this one.  Let's just say, I met every neighbor and then some, at the lovely Cottonwood Falls apartment complex in beautiful Lake Arlington, because I reacted to this one, exactly as I did #3 on this list: I sprinted out the front door and had "a moment" in the parking lot.

You all want to know how epic this one was?  My dad SAME DAY Fed-Ex’ed the Star to me.  (And why was that epic?  Because Dad worked for 30 years, for the Post Office.  He went to the "enemy", to make sure I got the Star, ASAFP.  God, I love that man.)  

And wow, is this one about ten spots too low, in the rankings … but there’s that many amazing moments, still to come.

14. “The draw to Todd McNair …”

When: Week 12, 1995, vs Oilers.

Why Ranked: because it was the third, of three epic finishes, in “Amen Corner” in that 1995 season … and given how unreal the other two were (both still to come)?  The fact that this one might be the most miraculous of them all, is saying something.

When Todd McNair, former Chiefs running back, now Houston Oilers running back, takes a simple draw play, with less than :30 to play, tied at 13, to simply reach overtime … and instead, fumbles the draw, and Mark Collins scoops it up, and takes it to the house, for the most unreal 20-13 victory you ever saw.

I say “you”, because I didn’t see it.  I was on the phone with my mom, dissecting moment by moment the first Beatles release in twenty five years, “Free As a Bird”, when this play unfolded.

I have yet to forgive myself, for that beyond indefensible mistake.

(I also hate “Free As a Bird” with a passion.  Yet I loved “Real Love”.  Gee, I cannot POSSIBLY imagine why one Beatles Anthology song would repulse me, and one would pleasure me …)

13. "If you didn't believe before?  You believe now!"

When: AFC Wildcard Game, 1993, vs Steelers.

Why Ranked: Chiefs down seven, 1:48 to play, 4th and goal at the 6, no timeouts remaining. 

The quote above, came from (who else!) Stevo's Site Numero Dos' Official Color Commentator Emeritus, the great Dan Dierdorf.

For your viewing, listening -- and any other form you want to experience it with, because we don't judge your, uuh, indulgences, on this site -- pleasure, the six minutes this city truly, utterly, madly, and completely ... switched its loyalty once and for all, 500 feet south, across Lot M:

(God, I miss Kevin Harlan, as the Chiefs play by play announcer.  And dear GOD, how I miss Mr. William Grigsby ...)

12. “The punt by micah knorr.  Dante Hall  … uh oh, now a … oh look at this! … and finds a seam! … only the kicker to beat, and that’s knorr … ladies and gentlemen, you are seeing something that has never happened before in the National Football League!  Seven returned touchdowns in ten games!  Incredible!”

When: Week 5, 2003, vs broncos.

Why Ranked: really?  I have to explain this one?

I dare you, Chiefs fans, I dare you, to not shed a tear or six, over this one:

11. Trent Green's Pancake Block of a Future Teammate.

When: Week 4, 2002, vs Dolphins.

Why Ranked: because if ever there was a day, if ever there was a game, that made me love this franchise, this is it.  If this isn't my favorite game I've ever attended?  It's in the top three. 

People forget after twelve years, but entering this game?  The Chiefs were 1-2, their only win being Number 24 on this list.  They'd just lost in overtime at the defending Super Bowl champion Patriots ... and everyone in town was furious that the Chiefs -- who scored as time expired to pull within one -- kicked the extra point, rather than go for two and the win.  The "32 Defense" was at its apex, having already given up 39 (in a win at Cleveland), 41 (in the overtime loss to New England), and 23 (in a loss to Jacksonville).  Meanwhile, the Dolphins rolled in at 3-0, having already scored 100 points in their three games.

Things were looming so negatively, that I wrote what is arguably my finest moment as a, uuh, writer thingy, "The Week Four Plea".  Yes, it really did take me less than thirty minutes, to type that.  I just sat, typed, and hit send. 

Which is why, with the Chiefs and Mammals tied at 10 midway through the second quarter, when Priest Holmes took an offtackle handoff to the left, and Trent Green was leading as a blocker, magic happened.  Trent Green absolutely demolished Patrick Surtain.  Just blew him up, as Priest used the block to go the remaining distance to the end zone, and give the Chiefs a lead they wouldn't relinquish.

And as an added bonus?  This play was so inspirational, it started something that still moves my emotions to declare my section to be a lil' bit dusty to this day.  The streamers.  Because they came flying out of the upper deck after this one -- gorgeous red and yellow streamers.

Because clearly, breaking the sound record, isn't showing enough love for these guys.

(sk: added footnote after posting -- your referee that day?  Again -- I do NOT believe in coincidence.)

10. The End of Football in Los Angeles.

When: Week 17, 1994, at raiders.

Why Ranked: because trailing 6-3 late in the first half, Art Shell decided not to take the gimme field goal, but instead try to find the end zone.  In Mr. Shell's defense, this was a de-facto playoff game: whoever won, would get the six seed.

Jeff Hostetler -- who still has another appearance upcoming -- took the snap, threw it ... and Mark Collins took the interception 94 yards to the house, to give the Chiefs an insurmountable lead.

Circle me Bert, as one very pleased Chiefs fan, that we closed Real Mile High down right, and closed raider football in Los Angeles out, perfectly.

9. "Chiefs 38, Colts 10, 13:47 3rd Quarter".

When: AFC Wildcard Game, 2004, at Colts.

Why ranked: set aside the collapse, and focus on what the scene was, after Husain Abdullah stepped in, made an sweet interception deep in Colts territory, and Knile Davis pounded in the touchdown from seven yards out.  If you were there?  You know how absolutely drunk with excitement (and / or adult beverages) the 15,000 some odd Chiefs fans were.  We'd waited twenty bleeping years for this.  Twenty.  Bleeping.  Years.

Just because it wasn't meant to be, doesn't mean you throw the amazingness of this game, out with the hurt emotions.  Truth be told, there were at least two other plays from this game I could have picked for this slot (the bomb to Donnie Avery to open the second quarter; Dwayne Bowe's circus touchdown catch late in the second quarter).  But I chose Mr. Abdullah's interception, because again, consider the context.

And now if you'll excuse me, I need to go make a Stevo style triple vodka tonic, before continuing ...

8. "The Stand".

When: Week 13, 2005, vs broncos.

Why ranked: because I have rarely, if ever, been as excited after a play, as I was after this one.

4th and 2, 2:07 to play.  Chiefs 31, donkeys 27.  donkeys ball, at the denver 48.

Trap play, mike anderson.  The measurement ... first down, denver.  Two minute warning.

Enter the man, whose team he coached at the time, appears next in this countdown.  Mike White.  Who screams at Dick Vermeil to challenge the spot.  He does.  Bill Leavy goes under the hood.  The replays clearly showed anderson didn't make it.  He wasn't even within a yard of midfield.  But we all know, anything can happen when a NFL official and a replay booth are involved.

"The runner was tackled at the forty nine yar --"

That's all you could hear.  Seriously, go back and watch this game sometime.  (If I can find the audio clip, I'll try to post it for you.  I fear it didn't get backed up to the Cloud before my laptop crashed last winter.)  Arrowhead is dead silent when Bill Leavy's mic comes on.  As soon as the spot of the tackle was announced?  You couldn't hear anything for five minutes, it was so freaking awesome in there. 

The postgame tailgate also was incredible -- oh yeah, this was the debut of the powder blue Cadillac convertible with the bullhorns on the front of the hood.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I miss Grandma Grigsby. 

7. "Hostetler ... INTERCEPTED!  By ... James Hasty!  He is ... he's in!  He's in!"

When: Week 3, 1995, vs raiders.

Why ranked: for the second straight week, the Chiefs overcame a 17-3 fourth quarter deficit, to force overtime.  (The prior week, they beat the Giants 20-17 in overtime.)  But on the first drive of overtime, the raiders were moving.  On a 2nd down at the Chiefs 40 yard line, Jeff Hostetler threw the ball.  What Mr. Hostetler could not have anticipated, is that the back judge would run into Tim Brown on his crossing route, leaving the pass up for grabs -- which is exactly what James Hasty did with it, returning it 60 yards for the first of three absolutely jaw-dropping, impossible-to-believe victories in Amen Corner, for my favorite football team of all time (this one, number fourteen above, and one still to come).

6. “It’s blocked by … blocked by … Gon … Gonzalez!  Tony Gonzalez! / Allen.  Standing up.”

When: Week 14, 1997, vs 49ers.

Why Ranked: because it not only is one of the most unreal punt blocks you’ll ever see (Tony Gonzalez was the ONLY Chief rushing the punt), the ensuing play, is my favorite call by Pat Summerall of all time.

“Allen.  Standing up.”

So perfect.  So understated.  In three simple words, you can picture the play: a draw to Marcus Allen up the gut, a parting of the defensive line, and a simple trot a couple yard in, almost like it was effortless.  The punt block?  Got Summerall excited.  Marcus Allen simply being Marcus Allen?  Got him so excited, he didn’t have to oversell it; he simply sat back and enjoyed the hell out of it.

To this day, anytime the Chiefs do something great on offense that results in a score, if you're on my list of text (victims) during a game?  You'll get three words, in that text.

"Allen.  Standing up."

God I miss Patrick J. Summerall.

(And Madden’s comeback to “standing up” was just as equally epic.  “Pat, the Kansas City Chiefs are taking the 49ers to the woodshed, and they are giving them the business!”)

Also, gotta throw out Honorable Mention kudos to Anthony Davis nearly decapitating Steve Young late in the third quarter.  I still have the framed photo to this day.  Mr. Young has no idea what’s about to hit his back, and Anthony Davis has just extended his arms to take Mr. Young down.  Really, there isn’t one thing about that entire game that isn’t thoroughly enjoyable. 

5. The most surreal, unbelievable, "holy bleeping bleep!" punt block of my life.

When: Week 17, 2006, vs Jaguars.

Why Ranked: because it set in motion one of the funnest, most fulfilling days of my life as a Chiefs fan, and I'm guessing a lot of other Chiefs fans, feel the same way about December 31, 2006, as I do.  Greatest New Year's Eve ever.  The Immaculate Fourfecta.

If #11 is my favorite game I’ve ever attended, for reasons that (apparently) only make sense to me?  (And that’s probably true, on both counts?)

Then #5 is third at worst.  

Because Bernard Pollard, literally falling backwards into the punter, somehow not only avoids the punter, but nails the football, then somehow recovers it, while falling backwards, to put the Chiefs on the board, and set off the most ridiculous six hour stretch of football, this franchise has arguably ever had.

4. "Take THAT, Buddy Ryan!"

When: AFC Divisional Round, 1993 playoffs, at Oilers.

Why Ranked: well, there is the “Captain Oats” factor – it pulled the Chiefs to within three, in a divisional round playoff game, and arguably was the play that turned that whole game around, a game the Chiefs won 28-20.  It was the “elbow” game from Joe Montana, when something burst in his arm, and caused his elbow to swell up to the size of a softball. 

But there’s also the “Captain Oats” factor – January 16, 1994, is the last time the Chiefs won a playoff game.  And they did it, beating a team that within three years, would no longer exist.

Anyone who claims that God hates Cleveland? 

Hasn’t lived in Kansas City, the last forty years.

Where we (a) lost our NHL team (first to Denver, ultimately to New Jersey, where they've won multiple Stanley Cups), (b) lost our NBA team (to Sacramento, of all places), (c) our baseball team hasn’t qualified for postseason play in 28 years (a North American sports – as in every sport – record), (d) our football team hasn’t won a playoff game since Al Gore and Ross Perot were debating the merits of NAFTA on Larry King Live every night, (e) lost our region’s two greatest rivalries (OU / Nebraska; KU / MU) due to conference realignment and the utter pathetic childishness of one Mr. William Self, and (f) we built an arena to steal some city’s basketball or hockey team … and nobody will even sniff the potential, of moving to 1300 Grand Avenue.

But at least we have Bob Trumpy shouting “Take THAT, Buddy Ryan!” 

3. "Lord, you can take me now!  I have seen it all!"

When: Week 7, 1994, at broncos.

Why Ranked: that was Dan Dierdorf’s reaction in the booth, to is the play ESPN selected as the greatest in franchise history … and I can’t necessarily disagree with the selection, although I only rank it third, as greatest Chiefs play in my lifetime … and second greatest Chiefs play of my lifetime, involving the squad of satan himself.

I’ll just let the highlights, speak for themselves, culminating in one of the greatest plays, you’ll ever be privileged to see:

(And admit it, Chiefs fans – watching shannon sharpe eat it the last four minutes of this clip?  Made your day at least 2.45% better.  At least.)

(Oh, and yes – you’re damned right, twenty years later, I’m crying over the last three minutes, of the clip above.  “We’re gonna enjoy this son of a bitch, because it’s been a LONG time coming!”  Hell yes we are, and hell yes it was!  (Pause).  God, I miss Marty Schottenheimer.)

2. "I Love You Man!"

When: Week 12, 1997, vs broncos.

Why Ranked: because to this day, it's the second loudest moment in Arrowhead's history ... and other than the one play still to come, it's the one that never fails, to make me tear up, just thinking about it.

Again, I’ll just let history, speak for itself:

(And yes, Captain Oats, I’m crying, watching this – reliving how awesome this moment was.  Just listen to the crowd … and look at them.  NOBODY left!  NOBODY!  And listen for the silence, when Pete’s interview goes over the PA system … and the cheers, a full five minutes after the kick went through, for those four simple words.  “I love you man!”  Yes.  Yes, I do.)

1. "Boy, did he loft that one ..."

When: Week 6, 1995, vs Chargers.

Why Ranked: because if there are six words guaranteed to make me replicate the look of me at six months old, which I use as the profile pic on this site?  They are “boy, did he loft that one!”

Because the moment Tamarick Vanover is “… officially gone”, as Al Michaels called it, when he moved past the last Charger at the 40 yard line, was the single loudest moment in Arrowhead’s history, and nothing has ever come close to truly replicating it.

Because it was the first time in the history of the National Football League (76 years and counting at that point), that a game ended with a punt return for a touchdown in overtime.

But mostly, because if any single moment explains why the 1995 Chiefs are my favorite sports team of all time?  It’s this one.

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26 days from now, I plan to be hammered, shirtless, and either (a) chucking washers or (b) playing vodka tonic pong … (deep sigh of disgust) ok, fine, I’m never going to win that fight – beer pong … in the lovely grassy knoll that is that slice of heaven known as G30, as preseason football re-enters our lives.

And I can hardly wait.

I truly hope, you can't either ...