idol top 11: the recap

For Idol's Top 11 last night ... I got home 30 minutes late from Side Pockets, celebrating the day. So, with Katie on one side of the couch and Dusty on the other, here's how I reacted to each performance ... and how best I remember their reactions ...

* Michael, performing "Ain't Goin' Down Til the Sun Comes Up". Vocally it was ok. Lyrically it was ok. But there was just nothing there. No personality, no fun, no charisma. It was just ... there. Everyone else agreed with me that he was "bottom 3" material.

* Allison, performing "Blame It On Your Heart". I liked it a lot. Still can't believe this chick is in high school. Both of my co-couch judges agreed: she's not going home on Wednesday.

* Kris, performing "To Make You Feel My Love". I loved his take on this. Very subdued, very understated, just like Garth's version. I also loved the judges noting that it sounded like he'd "ripped off the original" ... because that's exactly what Garth did with Bob Dylan's original. Katie agreed it was good. Dusty thought the guy was a "tool", but didn't hate it.

* Lil' Rounds, performing "Independence Day". All of us on the couch were like "what the hell is she thinking" by picking this song. Everyone knows this song. Hell, even (insert string of negative opinions here) Sean Hannity uses this song as the opening to his radio talk show. Rounds does ok with it, I thought. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I continue to fail to comprehend everyone's love of this chick. (steve shouting at tv voice) she's not that good!

The couch judges all love Simon refusing to call her Lil, and calling her Little. We all also appreciated the fact that her dress this week didn't make her ass appear to be the size of Brazil.

* I should probably stop here for a moment and note that I was at this point about 10 minutes behind. I get a text from Gregg noting "singer five, holy sh*t".

Singer five ... Adam, performing "Ring of Fire". Randy Travis looks apoplectic in the rehearsal. By the end of the performance, a full on verbal throwdown is breaking out in the main room. I LOVED his performance. Dusty and Katie thought it was horrible. Actually, they thought it was worse than that. "F*cking awful" was thrown around a few times. In any event, Adam is safe for at least another week.

* Scott, singing "Wild Angels". It is every bit the desecration of this great song you would expect from the blind squirrel. If Scott survives tonight, it is ONLY because Michael's opening was that much worse. I continue to fail to understand why he won't wear sunglasses. Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and Ronnie Milsap don't make us look at their weird eyes, why does Scott subject us to this every week? Buy a pair of shades dude.

* Alexis, singing "Jolene". She looks frighteningly like Dolly Parton, only as Dusty noted, "about six sizes too small". Funny, I pegged it at eight sizes too small. She doesn't sound nearly as good as Dolly though. But a decent performance. She's safe.

* Danny, singing "Jesus Take the Wheel". I am growing sick of him milking his dead wife for all her corpse is worth. The other couch judges are fine with it. I think we need to expand the couch judge roster next week to include Gregg, to at least have someone that agrees with me most of the time. Actually, this needs to happen. Anyways, its actually a really solid performance tonight, kind of poignant. The chorus, he nails it. The only flaw was the coat, as Brian Griffin would note, "what the hell?" Apparently the polar bears from "Lost" got transported ahead in time to Idol's stage last night.

* Anoop, singing "You Were Always On My Mind". Anoop is one of my co-ponies / puppies in this race (again, I'm not sure which animal gambling season we're in ...). And I fully expected this to be a trainwreck. Only ... he freaking nailed it. All three couch judges applauded. OK, two of us applauded, one took a healthy drag off the cigar and did the "Anoopy!" fist pump. He is certainly safe from elimination barring some weird voting pattern. And thankfully, the judges can prevent that now ...

* Megan, covering "Walkin' After Midnight". Judge Dusty noted "she's hot". I concur, although she still needs a nose stud. The dress last night did nothing in terms of flattering her overall appearance, but holy Lord, did it, uuh, "accentuate her highlights". I thought her performance was TURRIBLE ... but then they reveal she's been sick all week, performed sick last night, and in that context ... it still sucked balls. But she'll get enough sympathy from tone-deaf viewers to survive one more week. (And more importantly, make the Idol tour. Yeah, tell me you wouldn't pay $12 to see her perform in the 105 degree heat of Sandstone in mid August after a couple joints and a 12 pack. Tell me you wouldn't pay to see her just for her outfit alone in the heat of August ... wait, I have a girl now, I can stop daydreaming ... focus Steve, focus ...)

Finally, our last performance of the night. Katie's favorite, my co-favorite, and Dusty's "I like this guy" performer, Matt! Doing "So Small". I can't believe I agreed with the judges on the panel ... but that WAS better than Carrie's version, and I absolutely would purchase it. (I already did, on iTunes this morning). He's got to be the favorite at this point. Which is good. I still think he has a Blake Lewis type beat-box breakout night in him, and I am thoroughly drooling in anticipation of seeing it.

Overall, this is three decent weeks in a row. The wildcard round was good. MJ week rocked. Tonight was pretty good as well. Nobody was unlistenable. Nobody was so awful that you wanted to throw a beer can at the TV.

My guess: Michael is gone. Scott and Megan round out the bottom three. I would say I'm anxiously awaiting the results, but my two guys are safe, so I'll probably watch Lost and catch the recaps of the results show instead of watching it.