idol top 36 wildcard show ... live blog

as always, I'm logged into yahoo! im as teamtito15.

as always, I'm coming off another crappy day in a crappy job.

Hopefully tonight goes well.

Whatever Dusty's making smells good. Hopefully it tastes good.

This is coming to you live from the computer room, where I am rotating between this, the TV that I had to smack 15 times to get the picture to come in, and my work computer, where I am, uuh, working.

Hy-Vee's ERA detergent is on sale for $2 more than I paid at Price Chopper. Shady.

So there are apparently only 3 places up for grabs.

THIS ... is American Idol! Man, I miss Dunkleman from Season One ...

Isn't every episode of American Idol special?

I continue to apologize for not realizing the blind guy was, uuh, blind. I just thought he was stoned or strung out on something.

Jesse Langseth up first. I liked her two weeks ago. She chooses "Tell Me Something Good". I believe Rufus and Chaka Khan did this? Interesting choice.

Off to a GREAT start. I am loving this early on. It doesn't hurt that this chick is pleasant to look at. This is the PERFECT song choice for her. Great job! GREAT JOB!

(steve standing and applauding!)

Randy didn't care for it. Jackass.

New judge makes no sense. Pauler liked it. Simon says ... you were the last girl you chose. And I'm glad that we did. Thinks it was ok? Slightly indulgent, but decent.

Matt Giraud, aka Justin Timberlake, up next. He's singing for his life. Uuh, not really. But ok. "Who's Loving You" by the Jackson 5. Another interesting choice.

I believe the only "wildcard" that ever amounted to anything was Clay Aiken, if I'm not mistaken.

I'm not really feeling this. Listening to too much Ne-Yo lately, I guess. This is too damned slow to win over the judges or the audience or the nation. No matter how sweet the fedora is.

I think he's sung like 5 words that weren't "whoa" or "yeah yeah". Hideous. Goodbye, good luck, and good night champ.

Apparently I'm in the minority. Every judge loved it. I guess I'm clueless.

Megan and the local kid up after (chuck woolery voice) 2 and 2 ...

Must be nice to have a cell phone that actually works properly. Cause my text messaging is hit and miss, my internet access is hit and miss, and I still can't receive multimedia messages. Despite paying $19.95 / month for all that.

Vera Wang. Not quite Austin Johnson funny, but still. Wang.

And we're back.

Megan up next. She's doing a "jamsiest song", doing "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree". Ugh, I hate this song. At least she's rocking the pearls!

I need to get a tat.

She's doing fairly well. Nothing spectacular, but you've almost got a 50/50 shot of getting through, so just tread water and you're likely ok.

Pauler gets hotter every week.

Simon says this chick is "current" and not "karaoke". I actually agree with that.

Local kid up next. Go Von Go! He's doing "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" by Elton John. Good luck champ.

Ugh, this is a mess early. Its too slow, its too oversung. And he's an octave too high. Hopefully the chorus saves him. And it might. This is turning decent.

Not good enough. No way he advances.

Simon calls him "boring". Hey now. What's wrong with boring guys?

New judge says it got "dark". Well hell's bells, its a dark song chica. Pauler going off about soaring, something about high as a kite. Pot, meet kettle.

Jasmine and Ricky up next.

Cracked Magazine! We have an ad on a dad doing internet dating? If this isn't rock bottom, I don't want to see rock bottom. Seriously, what teenage kid is going to ask their dad about his dating or sex life? Sweet Jesus, what kid at ANY age is going to ask about that? I would NEVER ask my folks a question like that. Its so wrong on so many levels.

Hell, I don't even query the roommate on his personal life! Because its personal! Its his business and his alone! So again, what sane person would ask their folks questions they wouldn't dream of asking their roommate (and really good friend)?!?! This ad is just ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Its an outrage.

James B. Nutter: "if the loan isn't good for the borrower, its probably not good for us". Ya think?

I thought Texas was NASCAR's fastest track? Apparently its Atlanta.

Ugh, Jasmine up next. I HATED her performance. "Reflection" by Christina Aguilera. Ugh.

She's no Syesha. Who should have competed in the final last year over Asshat Archuleta.

I hate the dress. Not a fan of the curtain type bottom. On the other hand, this is turning into a pretty decent performance. She's got a decent shot to advance. Nice vocal range.

She'll be one of the last two standing for the final spot, is my prediction. Not bad.

New judge is confused. Pauler says she was "determined" up there. Simon: "that was pretty special". And Pauler and Simon verbally throwing down! Yes! Its high damned time! Pauler molesting his arm. Randy chimes in with a "what the ...". Really, Pauler? Simon? Just find a vacant office and get it on already. You aren't Maddie Hayes and David Addison in "Moonlighting", a hookup won't destroy your chemistry.

Or Booth and Bones on, uuh, "Bones". Really, FOX, don't destroy the chemistry as is rumored to happen. Sexual tension can be a good thing.

Wow, I am off on some tangents tonight.

Ricky Braddy up next. "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder.

What's up with guys with spiked hair? Am I that out of touch with modern fashion? It looks awful. Ditto his outfit, not a fan of the close ups of the shirt hugging his ass. Performance wise this is ok. He doesn't have Stevie's voice to pull this off but its better than karaoke, if that makes sense. (It probably doesn't).

New judge, "you held your own". Pauler says he "loosened up" and "nailed it". (rimshot!) Simon trying to give advice. Says "the performance was a bit clumsy". Wait, are we talking about the singing (rimshot!) Randy says it was a "self indulgent performance". I swear to God, I can't write stuff this good.

Tatiana and Anoop Doggy Dogg! up next.

And we're back. Tatiana up. She loves to sing. She's almost crying. Good God. Let it go. Singing "Saving All My Love for You" by Whitney. This is a trainwreck waiting to happen.

This is actually fairly decent. Scratch that -- this is really decent. Hang on, for the second time tonight:

(steve standing and applauding!)

Very good performance. VERY good. If she doesn't advance, this thing is rigged.

A verbal fellating fest between Pauler and Tatiana. Sadly its not as hot as that sounds. Simon trying to reign this in. Pauler is "all confused right now". Good God, these two are bigger airheads than half the adult entertainment industry. Simon notes this is the 3rd time she's sung this song. What? Scratch that, if she gets through, this thing might be rigged. Simon calls her out on it. Simon is p*ssed. This is great! Simon is absolutely ripping her a new one! And Randy is ready to pile on! New judge noting that "at least she's not crying" and Simon drops the "she will. she will" blast.

Tatiana and Ryan both hit their knees for some, uuh, awkward poses for anyplace outside the bedroom or an adult entertainment club. Anoop Doggy Dogg! up next.

Doing "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown. I love this already.

He's rocking this! This is just awesome! The only way this could be better is if he'd chosen "Humpin' Around" by Bobby Brown instead.

Jesus, this is awesome. Bobby Brown on American Idol. A guy on Idol singing about casual sex being a good thing. This is just spectacular!

ANOOP! DOGGY! DOGG!

Holy crap I loved that! Although I'm guessing if I ever sang "My Prerogative" on national TV, my folks would not be wildly applauding. (Although my uncle would be. And possibly my brother. And definitely the ex-roommate, current roommate, and bts).

Simon says people like him. Damned right we do. Simon lets the "personality can count more than singing talent" bomb out of the shelter. Randy loved it. So did I. New judge loved it. So did I. New judge "wanted to get up and dance". Do it already!

Dropping the Duke / UNC blasts! Pauler last to speak ... "you're putting out moves that are a little nasty there"! Whoa! This from a judge who (allegedly) used her "prerogative" on a contestant.

Seriously, you gotta send Anoop Doggy Dogg through. You have to. If only to see him do "Humpin Around". Or "Knockin Da Boots" by H Town. Or "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd. So many god awful choices to choose from.

Back in 2 and 2, as the great Chuck Woolery would spin ...

I'd send through Jesse, Anoop, and Megan.

And here we go. I love Ryan reading results. Classic drama. Except without the drama, and its not really classic.

Jasmine up first. Randy says ... she's in! Jasmine Murray is through! She did pretty well tonight, I'm ok with this.

Ricky up next. I'm guessing this won't be a yes. New judge ... goodbye. He's (daughtry voice) going home ...

Megan and Tatiana together. So one is in the final two to be considered and one is leaving? Pauler gets to decide apparently. She's rambling worse than me on this blog. Megan is through, Tatiana is done. Four people left, one spot. Tatiana is bawling again. Good God girl, hold it together. She's kneeling in tears in front of the judges table. Jesus, this is beyond a trainwreck. This is worse than me melting down at missing the 5 pin pickup. Just embarrassing.

Morgan Freeman doing a voice over to an ad featuring the Smashing Pumpkins. Cracked Magazine.

Dinner was freaking awesome. Good job by Dusty and Kellie on the cooking.

Also, congratulations to the good folks at Little Penguin for quality shiraz to go along with it. Little Penguin: Steve's Shiraz of choice!

If they want to balance this at 6/6 a chick gets through.

Jesse up next. Simon says ... no. That sucks. She "nearly" did. I'm guessing she was 4th. Von up next, this will be a no. Leaving us Anoop and Matt. So we'll have a 7 guys, 5 chicks top 12.

Simon says ... Matt makes it. God. F*cking. Dammit.

And we're doing a top 13! ANOOP DOGGY DOGG is through!!! Holy crap! Not that everyone at ew.com didn't see this coming ...

Anoop! Anoop! Its an 8 / 5 guy / girl split, but yes! Anoop is through!!! So each judge did get a pick?

(Note: I agreed with, and I forget who wrote it but it was probably Michael Slezak at ew.com, who noted that without Idol Gives Back week this year, and with 4 judges, the odds were, we're having a top 13. Good call at ew.com!)

And with that, we're out! Anoop is still alive! I have a rooting interest in this competition! "With so much drama in the LBC its kinda hard being Anoop D O double G but I, somehow, someway, keep comin' up with funky ass sh*t like every single day ..."