idol top 13: what i'd pick

In all seriousness, tonight is either going to be epic ... or this is going to be the biggest trainwreck in Idol history. And not just because of the potential IDOLS-13 mess they're facing. You're asking a group of 13 rank amateurs to take on Michael Jackson.

So, this is what I'd pick for each contestant:

* Anoop Doggy Dogg: he needs something upbeat, that can get the crowd going, that gets the audience at home going ... because his voice alone won't get him much farther. I'd pick "The Way You Make Me Feel".

* Adam Lambert: the freak show. Or pardon me, "the freak" show. You know ... I think "Bad" would be a great choice for him. He can take it up-tempo, he can lose himself in the song like he did with "Satisfaction" in the top 36. That would work for him.

* Allison Iraheta: my favorite female singer so far in this competition. I'd take a risk here because she's not going home this week, and take on "Thriller". We know she can do a ballad, a tough one at that, and knock it out of the park. Let's see what she can do with something that well known.

* Megan Corkrey: if she'd just add the nose stud, I'd need to watch her performance in the privacy of a locked room ... which is why I wanted to give her "Beat It". (rimshot!) Come on, I can't have an Idol post without a gratuitous sex joke for the hottest contestant left, its like not allowed.

But in all seriousness, I'd give her "Remember the Time". I think she could really do well with that choice. Really well. Yeah, "Remember the Time". Good song choice for her.

* Kris Allen: well, he's already done MJ with "Man in the Mirror" in the top 36, so probably a good idea to not pick that song again. I'd give him "I'll Be There". An oldie but a goodie. He can hit the high notes too if he works at it.

* Alexis Grace: something freaky, something a little risky, a little chancy, seems right up her alley, so I'll go with "Rock With You". I'm not really a fan of this girl though, so take that at face value.

* Jorge Nunez: "Man in the Mirror" is right up his alley. He's got the voice and the facial features to pull it off.

* Matt Giraud: "Black or White". Here's where the Justin Timberlake wanna be can really shine. This could be his launching point to top 3, top 4 status.

* Lil Rounds: if this is truly a "singing competition", she's gotta be the favorite at this point. She's another one who can take a risk here because the reward would be huge, and the downside is minimal. (A la David Cook last year after "Hello"). So let's see if she can pull a David Cook in this spot by nailing "Billie Jean" out of the park.

* Scott McIntyre: man I wish this was Lionel Richie week. Not just because I love Lionel (I do), but then he could do "Hello", and re-enact the blind chick fingering Lionel's mannequin head in the music video. "Hello! Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes ... I can see it in your smile ..." as the fingers work the mannequin. That has potential.

For this week, I'd give the kid an old school classic, "Smooth Criminal". Tell me this wouldn't work.

* Michael Sarver: I'm still hacked that he whizzed all over "I Don't Wanna Be" and somehow got through on the public's vote. Somewhere, Gavin DeGraw is pulling his hair out in frustration at what this guy did to that song. So, since he isn't up to the moment, let's give him "Beat It" and hope he bombs.

* Jasmine Murray: ugh, another contestant I am not a fan of. "Wanna Be Startin Something" should ensure she's bottom 3 and out the door in the next couple weeks.

* Danny Gokey: Milwaukee's finest! Well not really, Lakefront Brewery is Milwaukee's finest. And here I'm torn. If I was picking, I'd give him "We Are the World", because you can't have a Michael Jackson night without covering one of THE defining songs of our lifetimes. But I fear the Idol producers will save "We Are the World" for the usually horrid group sing tomorrow night on the results show. So that's likely off the table. So I'll give him "You Are Not Alone", hope he's up to the task, and can stay in the competition a little bit longer.

Hopefully this is a pleasant surprise tonight. And not the trainwreck it appears its going to be ...