"Regulators.
We regulate any stealing of his property.
And we damn good too!
But you can't be any geek off the street --
Gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean.
Earn your keep!
Regulators! Mount up ..."
-- "Regulate" by Nate Dogg and Mr. Warren to the G. I can hardly wait for Sunday. I think we're going to see an ass kicking of Biblical proportions on that field come high noon on Sunday. We gonna regulate us some Cardinal ...
----------------------
I love how the focus post-game yesterday, so far, has been on Coach Haley refusing to shake josh mcdaniels' hand after the game. Instead, our Coach stormed up to him, waving a finger, screaming expletives, for some unknown reason.
Todd? Buddy? Believe me, nobody wanted to explode more than me yesterday. This game was a complete and total disaster. We were absolutely embarrassed on a national stage. Every fatal flaw this team has (a pass-happy offensive coordinator, an inaccurate quarterback, no depth whatsoever in the secondary) was exposed for all to see.
And yet ... at the end of the day, we're still tied for first. It's still highly probable we will be all alone in first place again come Sunday afternoon. And I still think we're the odds on favorite to win this division.
* A large turnout yesterday at the official watching party. Too large, honestly. I'm sorry, but there's a reason why I don't watch Chiefs games at my brothers house, despite the long-standing weekly invite. I don't want to watch a game around little kids. All they do is get in the way, act like kids, and inevitably p*ss off their parents, which leads to people there actually wanting to watch the game to get p*ssed off at everyone else. Let's just move on before my sheer rage against one person there yesterday begins to play out again. I was ready to throw down, his kid was so ridiculous and out of control and annoying (not to mention how annoying his arm chair quarterbacking was. Pal, there's only one person allowed to openly question the decision making of the Chiefs during a game, and that's me. Stop stealing my job!)
* Rock solid menu yesterday. Including the always appreciated margaritas.
* donkeys win the toss, choose to receive. And immediately begin picking on Brandon Carr. Look it, I get that our secondary depth is atrocious right now due to injury. I get that we're playing a ton of young players, and they're going to make mistakes. But for God's sake, didn't ANYONE on our coaching staff think of going to a permanent cover three, and dedicating one safety valve to joining Brandon Carr in coverage? Look it, give the donkeys a ton of credit. Apparently, if you give josh mcdaniels' two weeks to prepare, he can draw up enough plays on that paper napkin with his Crayola that work that you lose in embarrassing fashion. But for God's sake, why didn't the defense ever adjust? I was screaming to go to a cover three with safety help after two drives. The Chiefs NEVER shifted. NEVER. An embarrassing brain-fart of a day from a usually rock solid staff.
* So down a quick 7-0, the Chiefs take over. And Jamaal Charles has a brain fart on 3rd and 7, never resetting after shifting into the slot. I saw it right away. So instead of being 1st and 10, its now 3rd and 12, and Matt Cassel uncorks his first of multiple "what the f*ck is this retard doing?!?!" passes of the afternoon. Send in the punt unit.
* 9 plays later, the donkeys are up 14-0. At this point, they have run 17 plays, 0 of which have resulted in negative yardage. This is not looking good. Still, if the Chiefs can come out, get a drive going, and get on the board to calm things down, stop the bleeding, then we can get right back into this thing.
* So the Chiefs come out, run it twice for 6 yards, and then on a 3rd and 4, Cassel uncorks his second "god bless it this guy is clueless!" pass of the day, horribly overshooting Chris Chambers on a deep fly route. (steve sighing in disgust) Why in the hell are we airing it out on 3rd and 4, in the situation that we faced? Why? Will someone please explain what the hell Chuck Weis was thinking with that play call? The vital thing at that point is to get a first down, if only to possibly calm down the crowd and settle down the game. Instead, we air it out. Predictably incomplete. In comes the punting unit, and the floodgates are about to be ripped wide open ...
* Three plays later, touchdown denver, the bomb to gaffney. Its now 21-0. (The blessing in disguise: that the replay "didn't work", so we didn't lose a challenge or timeout on an obvious catch. The ridiculous: how in the f*ck can a replay system "not work"? Yet another screwy officiating deal in a season full of them. This league is starting to look as rigged towards the home team as NBA Playoff officiating. And Commissioner Goodell? It is NEVER a good thing when someone compares your officials to those in the Assocation). denver has now run 20 plays, 0 for negative yardage.
* Finally, however, the Chiefs begin to wake up. After a couple first downs, and some solid throws out of Cassel (at this point, the pass-happy Chuck Weis happily abandoned the run, another in a long line of stupid decisions out of the coaching booth yesterday), the Chiefs had 3rd and 3 at the denver 27. That's a 44 yard attempt from there. If you can just get points on the board, maybe that stops the onslaught. Anything to stem the tide. The only thing you cannot do here, is take a negative play. Cassel, never one to do the obvious, or even recognize the obvious ... takes a horrendous sack. Why he didn't throw the ball away, is why he's Matthew Cassel. I'll put it this way -- when even Solomon Wilcox is questioning why you didn't throw it away, and that dude is the worst color commentator in the sport, when even he is questioning your decision making, it's time to examine what you're doing pal.
* The Chiefs predictably miss the field goal just wide right. From eight yards closer in, it probably is good. Now, the route is on.
* 7 plays later, my most hated player in the NFL trots onto the field. Touchdown, timothy r. tebow. Its 28-0. fake mile high is rocking. I'm fuming. Although somehow, I didn't come completely unhinged yesterday. But I was beyond furious at this point. That is now 28 plays the donkeys have run, 0 for negative yardage. It's now 28-0. This is it, the Chiefs must score on this next drive, and realistically it must be seven points, to have any chance at rallying.
* The Chiefs do a great job of driving down the field. They get it to first and goal at the denver 8. And then, Matthew Cassel happens again. He takes a horrendous rollout, stumbles, is decked, fumbles, and denver takes it to the house. 35-0.
Now, allow me to unload on Cassel. The kid is likeable, he has moments when he looks like a legitimate prospect at the position, and I think his arm is better than people give him credit for (remember, his problem is that he usually overshoots, not underthrows, his receivers). But mentally, this guy is NOT a NFL caliber quarterback. He makes stupid decisions that cost his team points at least two or three times a game. At this point, I believe we have reached the ceiling with Matt Cassel. Cassel's good enough to close 5-2, because he's been really good at home (where we play four times) and has been adequate on the road (where we have two winnable games against the NFC West, and a "nobody knows what to expect" showdown with the Chargers). Cassel can get this team into the playoffs as a four seed, and I'll take my chances against Baltimore or whoever doesn't win the AFC East at that point.
But for this team to take the next step, I fear we're going to have to get a different quarterback. Three times yesterday in the first half, Cassel made idiotic, stupid, retarded decisions that screwed his team royally -- airing it out for Chambers on 3rd and 4, instead of going for the needed first down; the horrendous sack to effectively move us out of makeable field goal range, and the sack / fumble returned for touchdown that effectively sealed the loss. It's bad enough the defense had been on the field to that point for 28 plays, and had yet to have a single successful one. When your offense is being piloted by someone of questionable judgment, in the words of Bob Knight, you might as well bend over, take it, and enjoy it. Because you're going to take it.
* Down 35-0, why Cassel was allowed to remain in the game, I have no idea. Spare me the "well, we tried different things / it was a learning experience / what, you'd use Croyle?!?!" excuses. Hell yes I'd have gone to Croyle. If I was Todd Haley, I'd have stormed the field, grabbed Cassel by the face mask, unloaded every four letter bomb in the book, kicked his ass towards the bench, and told 12 to grab his helmet, you're in kid. Leaving Cassel in yesterday was an insult to every Chiefs fan watching that game. We had no shot to win with Cassel under center. He was rattled, and it showed. Croyle probably wouldn't have done much, but at least you'd have the satisfaction of seeing sh*tty QB play have a consequence.
* Of course, the Chiefs immediately find the end zone, and then thanks to an incredibly stupid decision by denver to try a 59 yard field goal that set up a Chiefs field goal to end the half, it was 35-10 at the half, Chiefs with the ball. A glimmer of hope still remained. If we could come out, score on that first possession, at that point, you've cut the lead in half, you've scored 17 in a row, and maybe some doubt begins to creep in on the denver sideline, maybe a little bit of panic amongst the "brain trust" they employ.
* So the Chiefs come out, Cassel has two horrendous pass attempts sandwiched around a Charles run for five, and in trots Dusty C. Ballgame.
* I'd be lying if I said I paid attention to anything that happened after that. I chose to play darts and start drinking heavily.
* The non-handshake by Coach Haley. Here's my two somewhat contradictory, yet makes total sense, thoughts on that:
1. Good for Coach. But also ...
2. Good for denver. I didn't mind one bit they ran up the score yesterday. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with kicking your hated rival in the nuts while they're laying on the ground in visible defeat? What's wrong with taking it out on a team you hate?
Ask any KU fan what their favorite football game of the last 20 years was, and you'll get one of two answers. Either (a) the incredible 2008 Border War game, where KU and MU exchanged the lead six times in the last 8 minutes before KU held on to win by a point, or (b) the Spirit of 76, when we absolutely demolished the Nebraska Cornhuskers in 2007, doubling their point total, dropping 76 on them, and nearly dropped 50 on them in the first half (damned missed field goal). The MU game was a blast, an all-time classic. The Nebraska game though, that one was a generation in the making. That was payback for 30 straight years of getting our ass kicked by them. That game was something you refuse to apologize for. You always kick the crap out of your hated rival when they're on the mat. josh mcdaniels has nothing to apologize for yesterday. I just hope we can return the favor in 20 days when his team rolls into Arrowhead.
* So allow me to close by making three predictions, and a final thought.
Fearless Prediction One: the Chiefs will destroy the Arizona Cardinals comfortably. I'm envisioning something like 37-10, 40-13. I predict this because (1) I think this is going to be one p*ssed off football team taking the field Sunday, and (2) I think the fanbase will show up and do their part.
Fearless Prediction Two: the Steelers will boatrace the oakland raiders on Sunday. Something like 45-7. They will, to recycle one of my favorite descriptions ever, they are going to use the raiders "as their own personal urinal".
Fearless Prediction Three: donkeys 24, Chargers 21 on Monday night. And yes, Chiefs fans, we have to cheer for denver next week. Believe me, I'd rather have a prostate exam than root for those guys. I'd rather be waterboarded. I'd rather sit and listen to a non-stop cycle of Black Eyed Peas music. I am dreading this. But we have to do it. A denver win would be humongous. If the donkeys we saw yesterday show up next Monday night, they'll win by more than 3, to be honest.
And now, the final thought:
Yesterday is one of those games, that you have to treat like a horrendous hole in golf. You know, a typical Steve hole, where you botch the tee shot, take 4 more strokes to reach the green, and then choke from 4 feet to post quadruple bogey on the par 3 190 yard hole. You have to shake it off and move to the next tee as if nothing happened. That's the task facing Coach Haley this morning.
Because come Sunday, his troops, our team, plays the biggest game it's played to date. Simply put, we MUST beat the Arizona "Super" Cardinals. The backs are to the wall now. After whizzing away two games we should have won (at Houston, at oakland), our margin for error is gone. Yes, we still control our own destiny, but to control it, we have to start winning again.
It all now comes down to Sunday, at least for the time being. We have a golden opportunity to regain control of this division on Sunday afternoon. We CANNOT let this one escape, like Houston and oakland did. We must defend this house on Sunday. The raiders have to travel to Pittsburgh, a very losable game for them. The donkeys and Chargers play Monday night in a virtual elimination game, especially for the Chargers, who travel to Indianapolis next Sunday night, before facing the raiders in another huge West showdown the week after that. (And then we come rolling into town. Fun month to be a Chargers fan, if by "fun" you mean "sweating out every f*cking second of football as it unfolds". Which I do).
Yesterday made things way too interesting ... but ultimately, the division is still ours to win. That's what you have to focus on. A seven game sprint to the finish, beginning Sunday at high noon against the woeful Arizona "Super" Cardinals.
I'll put yesterday behind me, if only because I don't think I can down another four bottles of merlot tonight to cope with the defeat. I'll be there bright and early Sunday morning. I hope you all will be there before kickoff as well. I have no clue what the tailgating menu is, but it will be good, and you are always welcome to join with us. This team needs every "fan" in the house on Sunday, and every home game going forward, if they're going to reach the promised land of postseason football. Again, put yesterday out of sight, out of mind. It's over. Everyone is entitled to one stink bomb of a game. Look at the teams with an equal or better record than the Chiefs, they've all laid at least one turd in the bottom of the bowl so far this year:
Patriots: lost by 23 to Cleveland.
Jets: shut out at home by Green Bay.
Dolphins: blown out by Patriots and just posted their first home win yesterday.
Steelers: demolished by New England.
Ravens: blown out in Cincinnati.
Titans: lost to a third string QB in Miami by double digits.
Colts: lost by 20 to Houston.
raiders: blown out by Tennessee.
Giants: lost at home to 1-7 Dallas, lost by 20 at home to Tennessee.
Eagles: lost by 20 to Tennessee.
Redskins: blown out in Detroit.
Packers: lost at home to Miami.
Bears: destroyed at home by Seattle.
Saints: lost by 17 at home to Cleveland.
Falcons: lost by two touchdowns to Philly.
Seahawks: lost by 40 to the Giants.
Forget yesterday. It happens. What matters now is what happens in the final seven weeks. One week at a time. Beginning Sunday, in a game we should win easily. Do your part to make it happen. Show up early. Be loud! Have fun! This is still a team tied for first place, still only a game out of the final wildcard berth. If they take care of business at home, and split the NFC West roadies, they're going to the playoffs. Help ensure they "regulate" at home, beginning Sunday against Arizona.
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