Monday, July 22, 2013

big brother 15 power poll 3.0

"I see you, and you see me!
But you're blurring the line,
When you're making a scene.

Oh girl, you've got to know,
What my head overlooks?
The senses will show to my heart.

And when it's watching for lies?
You can't escape my ...

Private eyes!  (clap clap!)
They're watching you!  (clap clap!)
They see your every move!

Private eyes!  (clap clap!)
They're watching you!  (clap clap!)
Private eyes!
They're watching you, watching you, watching oooooh ..."

-- "Private Eyes" by Hall and Oates.


Wow, has it really been almost a month since the nation's crappiest reality show returned in force?

Week three saw some houseguests begin to emerge as real threats to win this game.  Week three also saw the budding of our third showmance of the season, which is really impressive this early on.  Week three saw a lot of the usuals -- fighting, racism, yet another "shocking twist" courtesy of the Chenbot, and of course, a few new places broken in for where the houseguests can (bob eubanks voice) make whoopy.

Here then is your Big Brother Season 15 Power Poll 3.0!!!  Please -- try to contain your enthusiasm out there.

Key: Rank.  Player (2.0 ranking, 1.0 ranking).  Comments.

Prior Versions (in case you're a sadist):

Big Brother 15 Power Poll 1.0
Big Brother 15 Power Poll 2.0

16. David (16, 1).  Gone way too soon.  Also, if anyone from this season is going to "step up their game", so to speak, and parlay their time in the house into a rich, rewarding, lucrative gig with Naughty America or some sleazy porn company run by Joe Francis, this is your guy.  Yay?

15. Nick (15, 8).  The good news?  GinaMarie has finally calmed down long enough to stop crying, control her emotions, and act like a rational, reasonable houseguest.  The bad news?  GinaMarie has finally calmed down long enough to stop crying, control her emotions, and act like a rational, reasonable houseguest.

14. Jeremy (14, 5).  Our latest live eviction, and it wasn't particularly close (9-1-0) or surprising (HoH Helen had targeted Jeremy from moment one of her reign).  I kind of feel bad for the guy -- just when he finally wasn't coming across as a total asshat, he gets judged on his three weeks of being an asshat.  Did give one of the best exit interviews in awhile however, showing a sense of humor I didn't know existed in him, as well as maintaining his cocky arrogance that is so damned repulsive, it's why he had to go.

13. Kaitlin (10, 13).  I can't tell if she's sneaky good, or lucky as hell.  Probably a combination of both.  Has played a decent game so far, but for the second week in a row, the HoH nominated her, and this time, there's no PoV to save her.  I think she's safe -- I think either Aaryn or GinaMarie will go home Thursday night.  But I'm rooting for a 3-3-3 tie, just to see GinaMarie's action if Judd casts the tie-breaker against her.

12. Howard (13, 7).  Well, he's finally starting to assert himself, and he's entered into a budding showmance with Candice.  But for someone as strong and smart as he is, he's grousely underachieved so far.  Circle me curious, Bert, to see where this budding Howard / Candice / Judd / GinaMarie / Spencer alliance goes.

11. Amanda (12, 3).  She and McCrae had a neat conversation after one of their latest hookups this week that had me laughing out loud.  Laying there afterwards, Amanda goes "most of the time, I forget the cameras are even here".  McCrae's response: "I can't stop thinking about them.  Which is probably why ..."  (jim nantz voice) It's called "stage fright"!  (Cue arrogant, smug grin).

10. Jessie (6, 4).  Have we confirmed this girl is alive?  Can anyone reading this name one thing this girl has done in her month in the house?  Because I can't think of anything.  And I'm not joking -- I literally cannot think of a single thing this girl has done, said, won, or even competed in.  Time to start being noticed girl, before the rest of the houseguests figure out you're floating along.  And they will figure it out.

9. Spencer (11, 12).  Another week, another racist blast by our ol' buddy Spence, this time mocking Asians.  I'm telling you, this cast is so screwed up, they make Reggie White look tolerant and understanding.

8. McCrae (8, 14).  Well, he and Amanda are show-engaged, with the twisty tie finger ring and everything.  He really hasn't made a mistake yet, to be honest -- he bailed on the Moving Company at just the right time, and the one member of that alliance who could have made his turn tough on him, is no longer in the house.  Given his performance issues with Amanda because of the cameras, I think he's the least likely houseguest to turn to adult entertainment when his fifteen minutes are up.

7. Candice (7, 6).  She's the first "token angry black chick" this show casts every season, that I haven't thoroughly despised by week two.  So she's got that going for her.

6. Elissa (9, 16).  She's four for four winning the MVP vote.  This week, that isn't a good thing.  The good news for her is that she won the power of veto, so she'll survive to face another week in the house.  The bad news for us?  Well, there is no bad news; either we're losing a racist houseguest, or we're losing Jeremy's, uuh ... wow, how to keep this PG-13 ... hmmm ... got it: either we're losing a racist houseguest, or we're losing Jeremy's trash can and/or toilet after taking Marvin Gaye up on his advice.  We're all winners here.  Well, except for whoever goes home in three days; in the words of that wily veteran pet detective Ace Ventura: they're a loo-ooh-ooh-ser.

5. GinaMarie (5,11).  Our top five stays the same this week from last time, albeit in a slightly different order.  I think GinaMarie is leaving Thursday, but we'll see.  She's had a relatively uneventful week, which sucks; she's a bigger train wreck than anything my nephew causes Thomas and Friends to suffer on a nightly basis.

4. Aaryn (2, 2).  Her first drop ... because she only had to racially insensitive moments this week.  And my "insensitive", I mean "even my smart ass that laughs at sh*t like that, thinks it was beyond the pale".  Given what Judd got in his HoH basket, I'm shocked -- shocked! -- she didn't haul out a Fuzzy Zoeller voice to ask where the collared greens where.  (fuzzy zoeller voice) Or whatever the hell they eat.

3. Andy (4, 9).  The first "token flaming gay guy" I've liked on this show since ... Marcellus?  No, wait, the dude with Natalie and Chima wasn't bad.  They were; he wasn't.  Hang on, I gotta Google who he was ... Kevin!  I liked that guy too.  This dude is hysterical.

2. Judd (1, 10).  Whoa!  He was my number one last week, wins HoH, and drops back a spot?  Hell yes he does.  His HoH packet was epic (fried chicken and beer -- my kind of guy!), his nominations (along with America's replacement for Elissa) ensure that one of the three Klansmen in the house are leaving*, and he's kind of bonded from afar with this week's number one (who's more than earned her ranking).  I can absolutely see a final two of Judd and this week's top ranking.  Absolutely.

(*: come on -- you know, you just KNOW, Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos are brawling right now over who gets to invite Aaryn on their show this fall for the always classy, always tasteful, always ratings-bonanza "Klan" episode.  Jerry tends to do Klan holiday episodes; Steve (not me!) will have them on whenever, wherever.  The only way this doesn't happen, is if Aaryn gets knocked up in the house.  Then we can have a "very special" episode of "Maury", to determine which houseguest is the baby daddy!  Wait, on second thought, I'm rooting for this!  (maury povich voice) Andy?  You are NOT the father!  (cue aaryn running hysterically down the hallway while crying, then swearing to Maury that "I know who it is!  I know who it is now!"  I'm guessing it isn't this.)

1. Helen (3, 15).  If you believe the internet, Helen is a Republican consultant.  Sorry, but there isn't a chance in hell that's true.  She's too calculated, too dialed in, too focused -- sh*t, she's too competent -- to be a Republican political strategist.  The Republicans haven't had a competent campaign team since 1994.  Sorry, but it's true.  Dole was a disaster in 1996, Bush (in my rarely humble opinion) didn't actually win in 2000, it's a disgrace (given the Democrat's ticket) that he barely won in 2004, and McCain and Romney have had their ass handed to them before 8pm on the west coast the last two elections.  Even 2010, a banner year for the Republicans, they still blew controlling the Senate by nominating a bat sh*t crazy person (Sharron Angle) to oppose the Senate Majority Leader (that's smart strategory!), and nominating a bat sh*t crazy person (Christine O'Donnell) to try to take Vice President Biden's seat in Delaware (even more brilliant!).  And I say this as someone who hasn't voted for a Democrat for President since Mr. Gore in 2000 (although I did vote for Senator McCaskill, against yet another bat sh*t crazy Republican last year, in Todd Akin).

She has complete control of the house at this point, thanks to her and Judd's understanding and working together for a common goal: to be the last two standing.  At some point, she's gonna have to deal with Elissa, and kick her to the curb, but that's still at least a month, maybe six weeks, away.  We're losing one of Aaryn / GinaMarie / Kaitlin on Thursday.  Odds are it's an endurance HoH on Thursday (last two have been trivia), so that favors Howard or Spencer, who like Judd, will continue to clean house as Helen wants.  

She owns this game at this point, and she (and everyone else) knows it.  The only question is, is she gonna peak too soon and screw this up, like Matt three years ago?  Or is she gonna ride this thing to a layup victory everyone saw coming three months in advance, like Hayden two years ago, Dan four years ago, or Dr. Will way back in season two?

My money's on the latter at this point.  But I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

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