two things ...

"I stood there trying to find my nerve,
Wondering if a single soul on earth,
Would care at all,
And miss me when I'm gone ...

That old man just kept hanging around --
Looking at me, looking down.
I think he recognized,
That look in my eyes.

Standing with him there I felt ashamed.
I said, "You know --
I haven't always been this way.

I had my moments!
Days in the sun, moments!
I was second to none, moments!
When I knew I did,
What I thought I couldn't do! ..."

-- "Moments" by Emerson Drive.

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July 25.  A day of major historical significance.  In 306, Constantine was installed as emperor of the Roman Empire.  He is the gentleman who made Christianity a legal religion, no longer punishable by death.  In 1943, this is the day the Italians rose up and forced Benito Mussolini to resign.  In 1969, a band that had never performed before, did for the first time.  You might recognize some of these names -- Crosby.  Stills.  Nash.  Young.  Also on this date in 1969, another man whose name you might recognize, pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of an accident a few days earlier, that resulted in the tragic death of the girl in the car with him that night.  That man?  Senator Edward M. Kennedy.  In 1990, George Brett hit for the cycle on this day.  Also on this day in 1990, Roseanne Barr delivered her (in)famous rendition of the National Anthem at a Reds / Padres game in San Diego.  In 1992, the Dream Team made its' debut in Barcelona, as the XXV Olympic Games got underway.  In 1999, George Brett (along with Robin Yount and Nolan Ryan) were inducted into the Professional Baseball Hall of Fame.  In 2000, the Concorde crashed just after takeoff, ending the supersonic trans-Atlantic flight program.  And one year ago today, the XXX Olympic Games began in London.

In 1977, "The Voice of Reason" was born.

And in 2013, the worst day of my last ... well, if not eighteen months, then possibly ever -- occurred.

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I arrived at work at my usual time, 7:40ish.  I didn't anticipate any issues today.  I always check my email when I wake up at 5:30am, to see what bullsh*t I'll have to deal with a couple hours later.  The only two new emails in my inbox from yesterday afternoon to this morning, was (a) the Docustream reminder of how far behind I am on documenting the entries I post, and the reconciliations I handle (nothing new there), and (b) the "Deal of the Day" from the Star.  It's almost always -- 999,999 out of 1,000,000 -- a great day, when there's nothing there from Seattle after you headed for home.

It was even a nice walk in this morning -- the heat wave has pretty much broken here in KC.  (Well, at least compared to the last week.)  A nice cool breeze, not a cloud in the sky.  Great morning.

I walked into my cubicle, said hi to Joe and Heather across from me, unlocked the file cabinet I store my work computer in when I don't take it home, and fired that bad boy up, and since it takes a solid ten minutes to reach login status, headed down a floor to grab some breakfast.  Even that indicated this would be a great day -- a loaded chorizo burrito, healthy heaping of tater tots, and my 55oz iced tea for barely $4.  I was a happy man.

Then I logged in.

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Well, more specifically, my boss saw I was logged into SameTime (our internal IM system), and headed my way.  No sooner did she arrive, than our department head called on my phone.  Apparently there was an investment invoice for our fund accounts that was submitted on July 2nd, yet never processed.  For the record, the invoice was not sent to me three weeks ago, and was never sent to me in the three weeks since ... but this shouldn't have been a big deal.  These things happen, especially when (a) the first three days of July were spent trying to figure out why our quarter-end interface crapped out, and (b) we were in the midst of transitioning everything from here to Seattle.

Truth be told, when you're the only person in the building handling paying invoices for four f*cking departments?  Things fall through the cracks.  Especially when you never get said invoice.  To my management's credit, they didn't blame me for what wasn't my fault.

To their detriment?  Well ...

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It was a two minute fix, if even that.  If you use SAP at all, you know how easy it is to process an invoice.  Quite honestly, unless you have the vendor ID known beforehand?  It takes you longer to look up a vendor number, than it does to process an invoice.  SAP is one amazing system.

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It turned into a thirty minute "dump on my former boss" b*tch fest in my cubicle.  Needless to say, there is no doubt in my mind anymore who is behind the "transition" in our area ... and it ain't who I thought it was, but everyone in the know, swore to me, it truly was.  I was wr ... wr ... wrong.  I'm telling you, the disgust, contempt, and (damned near) hatred out of my area's head when referring to my former boss, is only rivaled by my disgust, contempt, and (pure) hatred of two people I used to refer to as "family".  It was that level of hatred.  It was that disrespectful.  It was that disgusting.

I had to bite my tongue and take it.  I had to sit there, as my former boss was thrown under the proverbial bus.  Even the person who sits across from me, was clearly not happy with what was occurring.  The person I have as my "secret Santa" this week for the "heal the department" week, she sent me a SameTime when it was over: "what was that bullsh*t?"

My only response?  "It was bullsh*t, pure f*cking bullsh*t".

I hope she didn't save my message, to hold against me.  Actually, scratch that -- I know she won't.

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That was my number one thing from today: the purge of all non-former TA folks from my department, is fully underway, and it is what it is -- pure f*cking bullsh*t.  Look it, I get it.  You get used to certain people; you rally around certain people.  You always have certain people's backs.  I get office politics.  I get politics period -- you'll find no bigger backer of Hillary from 2008 than me ... and she somehow swallowed her pride and (justified) disgust, to deliver a speech for President Obama that I would argue is her finest hour*.

But for the love of God, don't make it as obvious as it is at this point.

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(*: God, I pray this speech ... or something as amazing as this speech ... is an acceptance speech of the Democrat nomination, in approximately 1,156 days.)

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My second b*tch?  For the second straight Friday, I had a scheduled PTO day ... and will instead, make the trip into the office tomorrow, for a meeting (tomorrow: two!) that I have no idea, what it is about.

This day off?  I cared about.  Our good tailgating friends from South Dakota are in town this weekend, and I was looking forward to a fun 48, 50 hours poolside with them, and my other good friends who choose to show up.  I was looking forward to (only) my 5th day off this year, that wasn't a regularly scheduled day off.  And considering I worked every Saturday until late March?  I'm owed a break.

It ain't coming.  I'll be in for the 9am meeting, and the 1pm meeting.

That were scheduled (at least) three days, after I requested a PTO day.

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I'm sorry if this site has become one massive "Jesus, please turn this water into wine -- this is depressing as hell!" experience.  All I can say is, so many people I thought had my back have abandoned me over this last year, coupled with the bullsh*t on the job, that maintaining a happy-go-lucky existence, is pretty damned tough at this point.

But if you're reading this, you care enough to read.  And I'm thankful for that.

And I'm thankful for every friend who has had my back over this last year.

None more so, than the man born 36 years ago today.

This site's "Voice of Reason".

Happy birthday dude.  May God grant you 36 more, at least.

And as noted yesterday: if you read this post?  God bless you.  And that applies, no matter who reads this.