Tuesday, August 30, 2016

a couple quick things today, tuesday august 30 ...

“I got a couple hundred pictures
Of your pretty face.
On my phone, on my dash –
All over the place!

But I would drive a million miles?
Just to see that little smile?
In real life!  Baby?  It’s worth the drive –
You’re worth the drive!

So I’m coming over!
I hope it’s alright.
Just listen for me?
Pulling into your drive!

Look out your window,
And see my lights!
Baby!  (Baby!)
Girl, I gotta see you tonight!

The way the breeze is blowing, blowing?
Got me wishing I was holding, holding!
Onto you so tight!  Under that porch light!
Girl?  I gotta see you tonight!



Girl, I gotta see you tonight!


Tonight! …”


Not much to write about today, but I did want to get a couple things up that matter to me.  Hey, it’s my site. Deal with it.

1. I had the NFL Season Predictions finished last night.  Even the major injury to factor in to the predictions that just occurred prior to today (Cowboys QB Tony Romo to miss at least six weeks with (al michaels voice) a back), did not affect my thoughts on the 2016 Dallas Cowboys season.  Mostly because (a) even with Mr. Romo, Dallas is likely to lose at least two of their first six, and (b) I picked a major upset of the Cowboys first six games, that if anything only cements what I think their final record will be.

But then came today.  Then came Minnesota Vikings QB Teddy Bridgewater likely going down for the season with a freak incident at practice, involving his (al michaels voice) knee.

I had the Vikings as the six seed at 11-5 in my season predictions.  (I had them losing their first playoff game, to my projected NFC East champions.)  The drop in quality from Teddy Bridgewater to Shaun Hill is so dramatic, I have to re-evaluate the Vikings entire schedule.

If the Vikings can manage to swing a trade for a competent quarterback who won’t sh*t the field in the next few days, I might leave things as they are.  (If I was the Vikings general manager, I’d be targeting the backup in Philadelphia … but then again, if I was the Vikings general manager, I’d be a lot more football savvy and knowledgable than I am, about the game.)

There’s also the factor that my projected seven seed (or first team out) in the NFC, I only have at 9-7, and I am not sold whatsoever on that team’s chances this year.  (Said seven seed also plays the Vikings this season, hence the real need to re-evaluate – if the super team I have slotted seventh wins that game, then they would be the six seed at 10-6 via tiebreaker over Minnesota, and it would set up a playoff rematch from nearly twenty years ago I want no f*cking part of … as a fan of the team that would host, said super squad.)

As a result, the picks won’t go up until at least Labor Day night, and probably not until a week from tonight.

2. It was a very good weekend.  Those of you closest to me, will know why I would say that, and I’ll leave it at that, at this point.  Or, as Sammy Sosa would say, “(the weekend) was berry, berry good to me!”

3. Finally, since not every post can be all sunshine, lollipops, roses, tulips, and a bag of weed, a (rolling stones voice) mixed emotion third point.

As of now, I am not going to the preseason finale on Thursday against the Packers.  I have already given my ticket away, as there is no way I can get Friday off.  (I’ll be lucky to enjoy the “short” part of Short Fridays this week, as it is Day Two of month end close, which is my death day.) 

But there’s always the chance that, if it actually is “Perfect Stevo Day” conditions (aka “putting on a t-shirt seems like the most ridiculous idea ever”), I might change my mind and bring a $5 to buy a ticket out there.

Having said that, that’s not the mixed emotion part.

My group has enough people going that we needed a second parking pass.  (Note: we do not bring The Bus to preseason, because the air conditioning doesn’t work.  If you live in Kansas City in August, you know air conditioning is a necessity of life.)

So we logged in yesterday morning to buy a second pass, and lo and behold, when you log in to your Season Ticket Member account, and try to buy a parking pass, what is that on your computer screen?

(image credit: whoever shot the video posted on the Chiefs website … and via the Snag-It tool on my laptop.)

Holy sh*tballs, Batman!  That’s a bus!  That’s four buses!  In Lot G! 

And on the right side, prominently featured?

That’s OUR bus!!!!!

I am 96.67% confident that shot is from the Cowboys game in 2013.  It has to be from a late summer / early fall game, since most everyone is in shorts.  (I guess this is where I should note, you cannot judge a game for time of year, based on if I am wearing shorts.  I do not appear in the picture above ... but considering one of the pictures on my desk at work is me emerging from The Bus at the Packers game in 2011 in shorts, when it was about 20 degrees outside?  Yeah, you cannot judge time of year, based on what I am wearing.)

It cannot be from 2014 or 2015, because if you look below the side view mirror where the new speaker will hang this year, you can see Noosed Donkey, and he doesn’t have his 2014 or 2015 nooses around his neck.  (They both easily stand out, to identify the year it was added.)  Furthermore, in the center left of the picture, that’s Brad, and he hasn’t been to a game since 2013 due to having to relocate for his job.

Also, the chick in the Berry jersey is Miranda, and she didn’t become a STM and come out all the time until 2013, which makes me think this has to be the opener in 2013 against the Cowboys.

(Also, if you look at the white pickup driving by us on the left, he has a Cowboys decal on the tailgate.  So make that 98.44% confident this was the 2013 Home Opener against those people.)

I thought that was pretty damned cool.

And I also am enraged, looking at it.

Because according to the Chiefs, parking regulations banning buses, recreational vehicles, oversized vehicles, and vehicles pulling trailers from parking in Lot G, have been in place since 2012.

I count four buses in that screen shot.  (mike gundy voice) FOUR!

So I ask the Kansas City Chiefs – which is it guys?

Are we barred from tailgating in our spot … or are you celebrating the tailgating in our spot, by respecting our rule-breaking enough to, I don’t know, feature it on your f*cking website?

It’s one or the other guys.  You can’t celebrate us, while trying to remove us.  You can’t feature us where we aren’t allowed to be.

For the record, I have not yet reached out to my “highly placed source who speaks on the subject with anonymity” yet, my buddy “Rufus”.  I’ll bribe him with lunch at some point in the next week and a half to get the feel for the layout once September 11 arrives.

So consider this to be a plea, Kansas City Chiefs.  (And for this, I am speaking only of Lot G, as that is where I tailgate.)

The new parking stripes are perfect.  You stole the Texans set up, and Lot G is better for it.  You left Roger’s crew alone for the preseason opener, and we thank you for that.  (His is the red bus next to ours that says “KC Chiefs” at the top.)  You merged all red reserve and cash lots into one unit, and I have to say, I thought the traffic flow in Lot G two weeks ago was the best it’s been since Steve Schneider took it upon himself to (stewie griffin voice) roo-een the way tailgating had always been.

You were absolutely right to encourage prepaid parking, and I’d argue you should go to all prepaid parking period.  The Texans do it; so do the Colts.  (I plan to be at both of those roadies this year.)  The drive in was far faster than usual.

In my (rarely) humble opinion, the way you have things set up right now is about as perfect as it is going to get.  So please, don’t f*ck with the success you’ve created.

We require one consideration, that’s it, to get our bus parked where it has always resided.  I have to get out and temporarily move a cone, so that Russ can get the thing turned around and facing out.  It takes thirty seconds.  I lift the cone, Russ drives through into Lot G, turns around, drives up onto the grass, and I put the cone back where it was.  That’s it. 

Just afford us that one imposition, and grant us the ability to be left alone, and you’ll have twenty plus people every game thanking you for it.  (And renewing their tickets, parking passes, and built in alcoholism that fuels your concession sales, because of it.)

We’re out.

And we’re not alone.

It is cheaper to buy a projection TV, new couches and recliners, and the Sunday Ticket, than it is for our group to actually attend the slate of games you and The Shield offer.

The home slate this year really isn’t all that attractive.  Yes, raiders and those people in prime time is night nice.  It’s also in December.  It’s probably going to be eight degrees and snowing, knowing my luck.  I’m excited for the Jets, but I’m probably the only Jets fan you’ll ever meet.  (Unless you meet my dad, or a friend at work named Dustin.  Other than the three of us, (jose voice) I got nothin’, yo.)  I’m also excited for the Jaguars, because that is one fun team to watch.

The rest of it?

Couldn’t give a crap about the “Super” Chargers.  Don’t give a crap about the Saints.  Don’t give a crap about the Bucs.  And the Titans in mid-December might be the least attractive game since Cleveland in mid-December seven years ago.

(Unless it’s like the Titans game in December six years ago.  Then I’ll care.)

Please, just leave us the hell alone, Chiefs organization.  You will not regret doing so.


So, to recap – this was my long winded way of saying …

* the season predictions post needs a re-write.
* it’s the little unplanned moments in life, that can both inspire and enrage you.  And
* the over / under for games I have to purchase an extra ticket for is 3.5.

Jesus, I pray it’s the over …

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