Tuesday, August 26, 2008

the dnc: day two ... live blog

First, a few thoughts from last night:

1. I thought Michelle did a very, very good job last night. I know a lot of pundits are saying "ah, it was ok". I thought it was a great effort on her part. Besides, unlike Teresa Heinz Kerry four years ago, at least you could understand Michelle.

2. I thought the (apparently) unplanned kid interaction with Senator Obama was awesome. That was really cool. Even if Barry is too stupid to figure out that Kansas City is not (nelly voice) the 'lou.

3. Claire McCaskill underwhelmed me. I like Senator McCaskill. She's one of the few high profile Democrats anymore than I have complete respect for. But man, there was just something missing last night.

4. Seriously, youtube! the John Legend performance. Its that freaking good.

5. All that said, I'm still on the PUMA bandwagon. But I'm open minded.

I plan on going for a while, but I doubt I'll live blog Hillary tonight. I'd prefer to watch that speech unimpeded, then react. Of course, I say that now, I might change my mind later.

OK, let's get going:

6:07pm: West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin is up. I'm guessing he won't be addressing how badly he botched the Rich Rodriguez debacle.

"Take me home, country roads, to the place, I belong! West Virginia!"

And he's out after botching his closing.

HRC speaking on video!

And she's in pearls. I'm telling you, pearls. Rock star accessory.

She's introducting Sen. Mikulsky, arguably the scariest looking chick I've ever laid eyes on.

Oh my God, she's introducing a "checklist for change". Sounds like a good time to grab a Coors Light.

Apparently all the female Democratic Senators are introducting a check. I'm not going to recap all this, other than Mary Landrieu is back to looking good.

"Fast" Eddie Rendell is up next. Come on Ed! Lay into the media again! Please! Hillary! Hillary! Hillary!

One thing I've noticed so far: at almost every other convention, every speech is "we need to elect (president) and (vice president) this November!" So far at the DNC, the Biden mentions are few and far between, its always "elect Barack Obama", never "elect Barack Obama and Joe Biden". Guess the speakers are as unimpressed with the selection as the population at large was.

The song playing right now is "sisters are doing it for themselves". Why bother, the joke writes itself.

"Fast" Eddie!!!

Looking dapper tonight.

He's chosen to focus on energy. Pointing out how ridiculous the prices have gotten under Bush / Cheney.

Finally, someone from our side attacking John McCain. God forbid anyone cloaked in blue grow a pair.

(My favorite quote ever, from James Carville: "If Hillary lent him (Obama) one of hers, they'd each have one". Why we're headed for a landslide defeat 101 ...)

This speech is going nowhere. Pull the plug Ed. Pull the plug.

A couple Rep's up next, then the President of the AFL-CIO. Yes, this speech is so bad that I am reading tonight's lineup rather than pay attention.

Really, this speech is so bad, his national ambitions are done.

Even the floor has lost interest, you can hear side conversations everywhere.

What the hell is a "green collar" job?

He just botched "California". This is awful.

I really think he's drunk.

And he's done.

I'm taking a quick break to warm something up to eat. Tammy Baldwin (Wis) and Xavier Becerra (Calif) up next.

And I'm back.

Becerra had a funny opening line. "Any Democrats in the house? (applause) Are we ready to get to work? (applause)" Uuh, sure.

I gotta tell you, the rest of the night's lineup leading into Hillary looks awful. I might not make it out of hour one.

In the next hour, we have two labor leaders, 3 unemployed speakers (seriously, that's what their bio at demconvention.com says), the incompetent Steny Hoyer, the irritating Rahm Emanuel, and another economic town hall panel.

So ... we're done for now. I might come back later when the program picks up.

7:14pm: (randy quaid in "independence day" voice) hello boys! I'm back!

Steny Hoyer at the podium. He just laid 9/11 on Bush's lap, and follows up by saying that Bush is a man "who called Americans not to serve, but to shop". Wow, not even I'll stoop that low.

I think Steny's hit the sauce as well. He's slurring some words here. Although in his defense, if I was a delegate, I'd be blowing a .26 right now.

"free us from the tyranny of foreign oil". Come on. We'd be "free" if you and your incompetent House leadership cronies would let us drill.

This guy is p*ssed. Not sure why, but he is freaking angry. Maybe he got cut off an hour before taking the podium.

The floor has once again lost interest. Its amazing, every time these guys and gals start praising Obama, the side conversation noise picks up dramatically.

(Its not too late Dems. We can steal this nomination tomorrow! Yes we can!)

"When dawn breaks on January 21st, we will begin the long, tough job before us ..." Uuh Steny? The inaugural is January 20th. (dan dierdorf voice) nice try.

Whoa, according to the schedule, Steny went out of order by not one, but two speakers. Glug glug.

Oh my God, this current chick, Pauline Beck, a California home care worker ... is reading her speech off a piece of paper. No teleprompter. No eye contact. This is ... this is awful. I mean, this is MANDATORY youtube! viewing. Pauline Beck Democratic Convention.

The floor is getting restless. And noisy.

Seriously, we gave this chick a speaking spot? And didn't give one to Reverend Al?!?!

You can barely hear her over the floor at this point. I'm guessing they're pulling a College World Series here and hitting the beach ball around.

"and next November he will be our President". Only if he wins in THIS November Pauline.

"What a Feeling" by Irene Cara our interlude music.

Wow, a Suzie Orman look alike. Anna Burger, Secretary-Treasurer of some union in Chicago.

If its possible, this woman is worse than Pauline. She's rushing her speech so fast that I can't keep up. The floor, once again, recognizes crap when it sees it as the background noise picks back up.

Governor Napolitano of Arizona up next, then the highlight of this hour, the economic round table panel headed up by "Left. Liberal. Granholm".

"9 out of 10 workers have no union". Probably a good thing.

And she's done. Let's keep the ball rolling.

Napolitano had a great crack at McCain about all the Arizona politicans who run for President and lose.

Another great one liner at McCain regarding his economic understanding. Finally, someone at the podium tonight who gets in some quality cheap shots. Where the hell was this last night? Or more to the point, where the hell was this 4 years ago, ripping your opponent at your convention?

I like this chick. I'd vote for her. Hell, can we draft her to replace Barry? Or at least Biden?

Two words: pearl earrings. Again, its the pearls. I'm telling you. Golden.

Why are people from Pennsylvania and Indiana writing the governor of Arizona about their problems? Why not hit up "Fast" Eddie or Evan Bayh for help?

This is the quietest the floor has been in at least 15 minutes.

Solid effort from the Governor. I'd like to say she has a bright future in the party, but lately we tend to only hype the dumbest and most ignorant among us. Hence our presumptive nominee.

Another Barry speech video. Hillary put it best: "John McCain has years of experience to qualify him (for the Presidency); Barack Obama has a speech."

And its Town Hall Meeting time! Left! Liberal! Granholm!

And Granholm is lookin' good! Lovely light blue blazer, black shirt and pants, and the glasses like I wear.

Plus ... you guessed it ... pearls! Both on the neck and in the ear! (you can insert your own joke here).

I have no plans to actually blog this panel. Although one of the panel members names is Amy Christensen. I used to work with a nice, smart, liberal girl by that name at "steve's employer from november 29, 1999 to march 17, 2006".

I'll be back in 10. Maybe. Actually, I will be, Governor Sebelius is up at 8pm.

7:47pm: we're back. Panel still going. Governor Granholm has a horrid mole growing on her cheek. Reminds me of that scene in "Uncle Buck", where John Candy is meeting with the kids principal. "Uncle Wart. That's what they call me, Old Wart Russell".

A Republican mayor from Alaska up next, then (and I'm literally transcribing the description here) a "laid off North Carolina textile worker with huge medical bills", then some energy person. This could get ugly.

The mayor is getting boos for his intro. As well he should. He keeps going off about how he's an "American first". Well hell, we all are. But we're Democrats second.

He just claimed we would get "sound judgment" from Barack Obama. This is a man who couldn't pick a Veep until the last second, can't think on his feet, can't distinguish between KC and STL, ceded 1/2 of his convention to a lady he beat, and is well on his way to blowing an absolute stone-cold-lead-pipe-lock victory. But yeah, "sound judgment", I'm feeling it.

The floor ain't buying it either. I'm guessing the beach ball is flying around again.

I'm guessing Fairbanks, Alaska won't be re-electing this guy.

And now our unemployed textile mill worker with huge medical bills.

Wow. Just ... when you think "white trailer trash", you got it. Gloria Craven.

I'm not sure what's darker, her glasses or her teeth. This is scary.

The floor is not buying this either. I feel bad for Governor Sebelius. How the hell do you regain the floor's attention after trainwrecks like this?

Whoa, this chick is married?!?! Oh my God, I feel so depressed. I ... I so need to find someone. (steve signing up for adult friend finder ...)

They're now living on her husband's Social Security.

On the other hand ... (steve sighing in somewhat disgust) you guessed it. She's wearing pearls.

"I know I can't stand another 4 more years of George W. Bush". You don't have to! He's done in less than 150 days!

We have a front runner for "worst convention speech ever". That was hideous. I'm guessing demconvention.com does not post it tomorrow.

Energy chick up, then Governor Sebelius. I'm going to refill the Coors Light while this lady speaks.

Or maybe not. "I've worn a tool belt, I've gotten my hands dirty ..." (beavis and butthead voice) huh huh huh. huh huh huh. that's cool.

Uh oh. After a quick check of all available sources, I'm down to:

* 1 Coors Light can
* 2 Coors Light bottles
* 1/3 bottle of Captain Morgan Parrot Bay
* bottle of shiraz
* bottle of champagne (for Hillary's speech)

Quick way of saying ... it's gonna be a photo finish tonight ...

Its 8:01. We're only a minute behind schedule. Not bad.

Kansas Governor up next.

Governor Sebelius!!!

Looking awesome tonight, bright red suit. And you guessed it, miniature pearls.

I'd forgotten Barry's mother was from my home state.

I'd vote for her. Oh wait, I already have twice. Again, is it too late to draft her to replace Barry? Or at least Biden?

Wow, this is not going well. You can see it in her eyes too, she knows she's struggling. I'm going with "bottle of chardonnay for happy hour for 200, alex".

The floor getting restless. As am I. And I like Governor Sebelius. A lot.

This is so dull I'm almost ready to flip to Hannity and Colmes.

Wow, crowd shot. Nobody is paying attention to this. Other than me, I guess.

Like "Fast" Eddie ... she just destroyed any major national ambitions with this dud. Although she'd be a solid fit heading the EPA if Obama wins.

Wow, that's 6 minutes of my life I won't get back.

"America"!!! Playing Neil Diamond's "America"!!!

"On the boats and on the planes! They comin' to America!"

Federico Pena, former mayor of denver, at the podium now. I believe he also was in the Clinton administration.

OK, that's it for the live blog for now at least. I want to watch Hillary's speech unimpeded ... and there's nobody between now and Chelsea's introduction worth listening to. So, that's it for day two.

I will post my thoughts on HRC's efforts later, either tonight or tomorrow morning. Not sure if a DNC Day Three blog will happen or not, depends on if I go to Trivia Night at Hooters or not. And if HRC's efforts are so solid that the adults in the room have no choice but to step in and take the keys of the nomination away from Barry ...

No comments:

week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...