Tuesday night, Channel 41 Sports Anchor (and crazy old coot) Jack Harry aired a 2 1/2 minute commentary on allegations that Coach Haley, responding to a fan yelling "You Deserve To Be Fired" at him after Sunday's latest Todd Haley authored debacle, responded by giving said fan the "single finger salute".
Wednesday, the rest of the Kansas City media began to run with the story. Of course, Coach issued a denial, saying he "might have waved" at some fans, but didn't recall flipping anyone off.
The money quote: "That's not how I behave. I have five children that I have to be a role model for, and its not something I would do".
Really Todd? Really?
"That's not how I behave". Bullshit. Every Chiefs fan knows how you behave. We have eyes. We can see. You verbally abuse your players on a daily basis. You scream, curse, and rant on the sidelines when things don't go your way. Your use of four letter words put Gunther to shame, and keep in mind, Gun dropped a "God f*cking dammit!" blast on national television over a call he didn't like.
"I have five children that I have to be a role model for". And you're doing a bang up job with that, buddy. Acting like a spoiled brat on the sidelines. Flat out quitting before kickoff on two separate occasions this year, just waving the white flag of surrender before even trying to win (at Philly, at San Diego). You refuse to "play nice" with your players, benching them for no obvious reason, cutting them because they make a mistake (seriously, the Bradley cut is indefensible. Yes, he dropped a couple passes on Sunday. He also made a remarkable catch to tie the game inside of 3 minutes to go, doesn't fumble punt returns, generally gets kickoffs out beyond the 20, and if you think Quinton Lawrence or Lance Long is more valuable or a bigger contributor to this team than Mark Bradley is, then Coach, you're even dumber than I already suspect you of being).
Role model? Role models generally don't make an ass of themselves on the sidelines.
"Its not something I would do". Again, really? Is it really that illogical a leap of faith to assume that a man who curses liberally, uses verbal abuse as a motivating tactic, plays musical chairs with his players just because he can, is it really a leap of faith to conclude he'd flip off someone who told him "you deserve to be fired" after a bad loss like the Browns loss was?
(Nope).
Look it, I have no problems with people who curse liberally. And its not like we haven't employed coaches before who have a swearing streak in them. But can you picture Dick Vermeil flipping off a fan? Can you picture Marty flipping off a fan? Can you picture Gunther ... well, never mind.
In the grand scheme of things, this is a meaningless incident. On a scale of one to ten, with one being "what's flipping the bird mean" and ten being "10 to 20 with no chance of parole" on the seriousness-o-meter, this ranks about a negative 5.
And its not a fireable offense in my book either. Everyone makes mistakes. You shrug off a meaningless incident like this and move on.
What is a fireable offense, however, is the job Todd Haley has done.
Whatever you think of the guy, the fact remains that Todd Haley has brought all of this on himself. It was Todd Haley who fired his offensive coordinator in training camp. It was Todd Haley who benched DJ for large portions of this season. It is Todd Haley who signed off on the horrendous fake punt against denver. It is Todd Haley who continually botches the clock and timeouts, and continually makes goofy decisions on 4th down.
It is Todd Haley who calls the plays. Rather than coach to our strengths (running game, vertical passing attack), he continually calls plays that accentuate our glaring weaknesses (crappy wideouts, no tight ends worth a damn, yet he continually calls 5-7 yard outs and flat patterns). Also remember, who's the quarterbacks coach? You guessed it, Todd Haley. Anyone think he's done a good job with Cassel this year? Anyone? (crickets chirping).
And so now, after a year of gross incompetence, inept management, and a roster that has regressed as the year went along, when a fan yells "you deserve to be fired", well, doesn't said fan have a point?
That's what so frustrating about this season to me. If the Chiefs had had any semblance of quality coaching, we'd be in the thick of the playoff race. You can point to six -- six! -- different games this year where a bonehead decision ruined any chance at victory:
* vs oakland: the roughing the passer call on oakland's final drive. You can argue that isn't Haley's fault (and I'd agree with you). What is baffling is why some dude named Wallace Gilberry is on the field on THE critical drive of the game? Its 1st and 15 at the raiders 40. The stadium rocking. Where's Derrick Johnson to rush the passer? (Sitting on the bench). Why is Wallace Gilberry on the field at THE defining moment of the game? That's idiotic defensive coaching. Coupled with idiotic defensive play.
* vs Dallas: oh Lord, where do I begin. Never once providing safety help for a clearly out-matched Maurice Leggett. As the nfl.com recap notes: "He (Austin) torched Kansas City for 250 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns by (wait for it ... wait for it ...) repeatedly winning one-on-one battles on the outside". There were other questionable coaching decisions as well. The blocked field goal that led to Dallas grabbing a 20-13 lead in the 4th quarter. It was 4th and 13 at the Dallas 35. On a bitterly cold day with the wind swirling. Uuh, maybe punt there and pin them deep? Especially since there was only 3:09 to go? Moving on.
* vs San Diego: trailing 7-0 with 50 minutes of football left to play, Todd Haley decides to go for it on 4th and a long one at his own 40. Coach? 50 minutes of football left to play. As bad as the decision to go for it was, the playcall was worse. A straight QB sneak. Right into the heart of the San Diego defense. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
* at oakland: yeah, I know we won this game by 6, but many, many baffling decisions that should have caused us to lose. Consider:
1. Right before the half, the Chiefs stop the raiders on 3rd down, and out comes the punting unit. The 3rd down play was an incomplete pass. There are 52 seconds left in the half. THE CLOCK IS STOPPED! Todd Haley calls timeout after the play. The Chiefs get a drive going, but run out of time because they needed that timeout to stop the clock.
2. First drive of the second half, Chiefs have 3rd and 7 at the raiders 34. The play call send NOONE to the first down marker. Haley didn't even try for the first down, he was content to try a 52 yard field goal. (The kick was no good).
3. Leading 13-10, next drive. Chiefs have a 4th and 1 at the raiders 14. Rather than take the sure points, in a defensive struggle, against a team you routinely beat by less than a touchdown at their place ... Haley goes for it. A horrible pass to Cottam that falls incomplete. After this play, Haley and Cassel engage in a shouting match on the sidelines. But wait, we're not done yet.
4. Next possession opens at the oakland 48. Still up 13-10. Cassel has looked like dog shit all day. So how does Haley open the drive? Cassel in the gun, raiders blitz, and Cassel loses the fumble when he's hit. You're starting a drive in enemy territory, in a field goal game, and you open four wide in the shotgun? When the ONLY offensive option that's worked all day is Charles running outside the guards? Idiocy.
* vs denver: the fake punt. Lord have mercy. I have never, and I mean NEVER, been as enraged as I was at that play call. I literally thought about storming the field just to kick Todd Haley in the nuts, I was so pissed. (The sad thing is, you're nodding your head and thinking "I'd chip in $20 for Steve's bail if he'd done that). I called it "the worst play call in franchise history". That might have been a slight exaggeration, I'm sure something from the Frank Gansz or Paul Wiggin eras was worse. But that play call definitely was the worst of the season. It turned a touchdown game into a 30 point blowout almost immediately.
* vs Buffalo. Let's examine, again, a laundry list of idiotic decisions in this one:
1. Late first quarter, its 4th and goal at the Bills 1 in a scoreless game. Haley decides to NOT take the gimme points (which would bite him in the ass later), and decides to go for it. Going for it there, I wasn't happy with, but I can live with it. Provided you don't f*ck up the playcall. After calling a timeout to think things over, Haley calls a Cassel rollout, with no receiver bailouts. Disaster. You not only don't score, but you give the Bills some room to work with, instead of having them operate out of their end zone. Go figure, Buffalo scored on the ensuing drive.
2. Midway second quarter, again, its 4th and 1, this time at the Bills 3, but trailing 7-0. This time, Haley kicks. Which begs the question, why? There's no consistency, no synergy, no rational thought into how Haley decides when to kick and when to go. If you went for it before, why wouldn't you just call a better play (like pounding Leonard Pope up the middle) and go for it again?
3. Even worse, prior to that field goal, it was 3rd and 3. The pass to Chambers was complete for two yards. Haley challenged the spot. You rarely, if EVER, win a spot challenge in this league. I can only think of one time I've seen a spot overturned, and that was "The Stand" against denver. Other than that, I have never seen a spot call changed. Because its a "spot call", its a highly inaccurate science and if you whiff by an inch, so be it. (Why the NFL needs to go to smart chip technology 101). Because now we've blown through two timeouts, we can't stop the clock to save time to mount a late first half drive after we get the ball back with a minute to go. (We had it at midfield with :33 left, but no timeouts to stop the clock).
4. Go back to point one. Had we kicked the field goal, when we got to the Bills 21 on our next to last possession, we could have tried the field goal to tie. Or on the last drive, again, we got to the Bills 37, and could have tried to tie the game. Instead, we had to throw it both times, and both were INTs.
* vs Cleveland. My only b*tch is kicking it deep to Cribbs a second time. Burn me once, shame on me. Burn me twice, I'm a mother f*cking idiot. That, and another horrendous timeout called before the half that gave the Browns (potentially) a time to tack on more points.
Haley's coached 14 games so far. In 6 of them -- 6! -- he's made questionable decisions that screwed the pooch. In two more games (at Philly, at San Diego), the Chiefs didn't even try to win. They surrendered in the locker room. Over 50% of the games this year Haley has coached, have resulted in losses due to decisions made by him, either to not even try, or stuff he's f*cked up during the game.
Its time for a change on the sidelines at One Arrowhead Drive.
Again.
If only to hold onto whatever is left of the season ticket base. I didn't even really get into that, but good grief. The announced attendance for Cleveland was 53,000. You have to figure some of those 53,000 purchased this game as a single ticket. I'll be generous and say 5,000 did that. You also have the 2,500 out of town allotment that went about half sold, so we'll say 6,500 of the 53,000 were single game purchasers.
Which means the STH base is below 50,000 tickets. I know of four season tickets that aren't getting renewed. I'm sure others can think of friends and family that aren't renewing either.
I'm not sure how much worse its going to get. But we haven't hit rock bottom yet. For that, we have Todd Haley and this waste of a season to thank.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
chiefs! browns! better than expected ...
(postgame tailgate)
(steve) I choose to focus on the positive.
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(steve) For example, I don't have to pay to watch these guys play again until August!
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(tyler) wait, isn't the first payment due in February?
(steve) (realizes tyler is right) dammit! Way to ruin the moment for me pal ...
---------------
Fun fact of the week! Four AFC teams are officially eliminated from playoff consideration. The 3-11 Cleveland Browns. The 5-9 Buffalo Bills. The 5-9 oakland raiders. And your 3-11 Kansas City Chiefs. What do the other three "lovable losers" have in common?
They've all won at Arrowhead this year.
Nice job, Coach Asshat.
Ugh. Yesterday was a lot of things. The end of an era, as the sellout streak crashes and burns. The end of the home portion of the schedule, as the Chiefs will post a sub-.500 record at home for the third consecutive year, something I previous thought impossible to accomplish. The end of a long affiliation with the team for a number of former loyal, die-hard season ticket holders. (Note: I don't blame them one damned bit. Until and unless Todd Haley is replaced as head coach, this team has zero shot of on-field success. Zero. I don't blame anyone for refusing to commit thousands of dollars to a hopeless cause. And the Todd Haley coached Chiefs are the textbook definition of a "hopeless cause").
But yesterday was also hands down the most entertaining game the Chiefs played all season. If you'd told me that a team with 2 wins that has quit on its coach would come in here in late December and stage a shootout for the ages against us, I'd have laughed my ass off at you and asked for some of what you were smoking. So let's call yesterday what it was: one helluva entertaining game, that exposed for all of Arrowhead Nation to see the fatal, unrepairable flaws that Coach Asshat brings to the table.
Todd Must Go. I know I keep saying this every week, the phrase "after yesterday, if anyone still doubts this ...", but seriously. After yesterday, if anyone still doubts this irrefutable, iron-clad fact, if anyone can actually justify giving this inept, incompetent coach a second chance to fail miserably, then please, call Charter or Two Rivers and check yourself in for some professional evaluation of your mental health.
(Or put it this way: when even Jason Whitlock is hopping on board the "Todd Haley is an idiot of a coach" express, and that guy couldn't see a tree in front of him if you planted him in the forest, when even Jason Whitlock is saying "maybe we f*cked up the coaching hire", that ought to tell you something).
As always, let's hit the recap ...
* another late start yesterday. The bus didn't depart the station until almost 7:15, and didn't get to the gates until nearly 7:40. We were still second in line, right behind Larry and next to Carl. Chiefs football. Catch the fever!
* Still had a remarkably high number of riders yesterday. 8 to be exact.
* Gate 6 opened early yesterday! Usually we're the last gate to open, well after the posted 8:30 start time. The bus was parked and unloaded by 8:30 yesterday morning.
* Figured out Carl's secret for how he's always the first one in, usually a solid 20, 25 minutes before the gates open. Ingenius, I say. Ingenius.
* Actual conversation at about 8:20 yesterday morning:
(katie) Kellie just texted me. She says they'll be here in about an hour.
(steve) (laughing hysterically) my ass Dusty and Kellie get here in an hour!
(katie) no, really! She says they're getting ready to head to his folks to get everything.
(steve) (still laughing hysterically) there isn't a shot in hell that kid gets here by 9:30!
They arrived at 9:28. Probably good I didn't wager on his arrival time.
* brutally cold wind yesterday morning. Thankfully, the EZ-ups went, uuh, up relatively easily. It was perfectly comfortable for tailgating.
* the menu yesterday was as good as it gets. Prime rib and boiled shrimp. Veggies, mashed potaters, and toasted rolls. Ridiculously strong wassel -- funny story here. Everyone who tried it, thought it was ridiculously potent. Way too much rum (if that's possible). Once Mona found out about our opinion, she goes "well, Nancy was saying yesterday it was too strong, but you know Nancy, she's not much of a drinker, so I put in some more cranberry juice, but I didn't really believe her". Yeah, it was strong. Toss in plenty of champagne, vodka, orange juice, and 2/3 of a kegger left over from the Christmas party the night before, and, well, for the final time this season ... Ain't we lucky we got 'em? (na na na na na!) Good Times!!!
* the parking lot yesterday was as deserted as it gets. There was nobody, literally nobody, parked between our three tailgating groups and the entrance to Lot G. A solid 75 feet of empty grass until Dusty got there. Then it was a solid 70 feet of deserted grass. Here's where you could crack the "wait, he never leaves grass deserted!" joke ... oh wait, I just did.
* Gregg and his dad showed up about 10:20. No need to hurry out early fellas. Using their other two seats were Brent and J Rob! Gotta love that. Got in some good prep talk for our upcoming BuKCs trip, plus they helped put a dent in the keg. And also led to one of the funniest moments of Tailgating 2009, involving me, Gregg and his dad talking about something, as someone was standing right behind Gordon smoking ... and Gregg and I just looking at each other in awe at Gordo being completely oblivious to the smoke behind him. (It wasn't a cigarette being consumed). G and I just start laughing, and that leads into the "that is the problem with the three man pass rush" joke, and it just started rolling downhill from there. Even the smoker was laughing at Gordo not noticing by the end. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I effing love tailgating.
* Making its first appearance in 2009 ... keg stands! You know things are tanking fast when Tyler of all people gets the stands started.
* Sad news yesterday -- the final home game of Bill Grigsby's career. The Pride of Parkville is stepping aside to "spend more time with his family". Here's hoping the cocktails go down even easier in retirement than they did while you were on the air, champ.
* I completely agree with Gregg, there should be three statues outside of Arrowhead (like the ones outside of Kauffman), of Lamar Hunt, Tony DiParto, and Bill Grigsby. The only debate should be whether Bill is double fisting or not. (I say yes).
* Didn't start heading in until almost 11:30. To say there was no real rush to get inside the gates, is an understatement.
* Broke in the new flask yesterday. And used the old one too. Chiefs security: where people smuggling multiple flasks into the stadium happens!
* Nice gesture on the Chiefs part to offer the $5 vouchers to everyone yesterday.
* Plenty of empty seats yesterday. Nobody sat between the couple next to me and the aisle, and I sit smack dab in the middle of the row.
* Another sad moment. I arrive, get to my seat, and find two ridiculously attractive girls next to me. I'm in utter disbelief. I even texted something like "holy sh*t you should see what's sitting next to me today!" Then Russ arrives, and scares the chicks off. Not sure what he said, but he got to his seat, said a few words, and they were gone. Oh well. I'll just dream about what could have been, I guess.
* Funniest moment during the game: Russ kept losing everything yesterday. He lost his gloves (left them in the bathroom). Lost his phone (fell out of his coat when he took it off). After a while of him constantly losing stuff, we decide to prank him, and Mona manages to get the keys to the bus off of him. The last 15 minutes of the game, Russ is frantically searching under his seat, under the other seats, searching his coat pockets, his jeans pockets, he has no clue where the keys are. Mona and I are laughing hysterically. Russ hasn't caught on yet. We ask him "everything ok?" He's like "yeah, yeah, its good". So as we're leaving afterwards, he's in somewhat of a state of shock and panic, a "how do I explain that I lost the keys" face. Finally we let him in on the prank, and he goes "oh, I knew, I knew". That led to even more laughs, considering he's spent the last 15 minutes looking for the keys. The lesson? When the Chiefs suck this bad, you have to make up your own entertainment. I guess.
* Could not tell you one thing about KC Wolf's sketch. Wasn't paying attention. Although I can probably guess what happened -- "Browns fan" mocks Wolf, runs away, Wolf hops on board conveniently placed ATV and proceeds to beat up "Browns fan" after driving down the tunnel.
* David Cook on the National Anthem! Very nice. But the pregame flyover, uuh, fellas? You were a solid minute, 90 seconds early on that. I'm telling you, single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind, flyovers are.
* Cleveland's opening drive ended in a field goal. The highlight had to be on the 3rd down incompletion, when the PA guy had no clue how to pronounce Mohammed Massaquoi's name. "Pass intended for Mohammed Mass ... Massaq ... Mohammed".
* Chiefs first drive ended in a fumble. Chiefs challenged the ruling. I thought Castille was down. Thought the replay was pretty obvious that he was down. Ref Gene Stenatore didn't see it that way.
* Of course, the fumble didn't matter, as Brandon Carr picked off Brady Quinn's next pass. Quinn looked atrocious yesterday. The whole Cleveland offense in the first half looked atrocious. Sadly, they figured out at halftime "wait, the Chiefs can't stop the run, maybe we might want to give it to this Jerome Harrison dude".
* Chiefs tie things at 3 after the interception, and then Joshua Cribbs happened for the first time. Probably fitting his initials are JC, because I was dropping our Lord and Savior's name repeatedly after that return. Missed tackles everywhere. Sadly, that wasn't even close to the worst moment for the Chiefs special teams yesterday.
* Browns tack on a field goal to push the lead to 13-3. I text "major league voice: these guys are sh*tty!" The first "when are we leaving?" discussions begin.
* a few tailgating folks made it onto the big screen yesterday. Will and our buddy Castro across the street. Of course, considering that between all of us, we made up about half the folks out there yesterday, it makes sense that some members of the group would get some screen time.
* Chiefs score to cut the lead to 13-10. Chambers saved Cassel on the key play of the drive, a 40 yard bomb to the Cleveland 8 that sat up there forever. Chambers managed to make the play. Both teams had issues throwing into the east side of the stadium yesterday. Our end, the wind was fine. East end, not so good.
* Chiefs then get the ball back, and Jamaal Charles is gone, a 50 yard scamper to paydirt. This is starting to turn into a fun little football game.
* And the Chiefs weren't done. Browns ready to punt, and Mona drops the "I feel a block coming up here" comment. Not quite a block ... but the Browns punter screws up the snap, the ball rolls into the end zone, and the Chiefs recover to go up 24-13! Funny moment: the refs are trying to sort out the pile of players to see who has the football, and Andy Studebaker walks up to them with the football. He'd been dancing around the end zone with the ball celebrating the score, as the refs are trying to figure out who has the ball. Good comedy.
* So now, up 24-13, having scored 21 unanswered, the fans that were there are rocking, what do the Chiefs do? If you said "gave up an untouched, unchallenged 103 yard kick return touchdown to Josh Cribbs", you'd be correct. A pathetic, absolutely pathetic, display on that play by the Chiefs special teams. We go to the half at 24-20 Chiefs, and the Chiefs get the ball. So far, a great day of football.
* First possession of the second half, Mark Bradley drops a third down conversion. The boos start raining down. Deservedly so. Our receivers have worse hands than me, and I was routinely the last person picked when we used to play every Sunday at Holy Trinity back in the day because "Steve can't catch the ball".
* Harrison. 71 yards. Untouched right up the middle. Touchdown Browns. To say the Chiefs run defense sucks ass, is an understatement. The Chiefs run defense gave up 351 yards on the ground yesterday. They gave up 200 yards last week to Buffalo. They gave up 245 to denver to open the month. To the surprise of noone, the Chiefs went 0-3 on this homestand.
* Ensuing Chiefs possession, now trailing 27-24, another dropped third down conversion. More boos.
* More proof throwing in the east end was a mess yesterday -- Brady Quinn had a wide open Mohammed, only the wind held up the ball so long that Brandon Flowers was playing center field waiting for the throw. Easy INT. Still 27-24 Browns as we head to the fourth.
* Another Harrison touchdown pushes the lead to 10 at 34-24. I text "i think hes approaching nfl record for one game". He was -- he'd wind up 12 yard shy of posting the NFL's best rushing day ever. I also drop the "if we dont score on this drive were bus bound" text.
* Chiefs manage a field goal, 34-27. Guess I'm sticking around for a while.
* Browns drive, Chiefs D actually stops them on third down, and Dawson from 52 ... no good! Chiefs still alive with about 4 minutes to go!
* Best drive of the season? It opens with a Cassel bomb to D Bowe that is upheld after a Cleveland challenge. A really sweet 3rd down call, an inside draw to Charles that catches the Browns defenders napping to set up the final last gasp to tie. On 4th and 6 at the Browns 12, barely 2 minutes to play, here's your ballgame for all intents and purposes. Cassel calmly takes the snap, and nails a strike to Mark Bradley for the touchdown! Horrendous pass coverage by the Browns on the play, Bradley was wide open. But we'll take it! Tied at 34! 2 minutes to go! Oh. But wait. The Chiefs can't stop the run. And this Harrison dude is pretty good ...
* Dumb decision of the day, by Harrison. After exploding into the Chiefs secondary, he runs the goalline to bleed the clock ... and then crosses the goalline. The Chiefs only had one timeout left. The smart decision there is to fall down at the two, run a play, and kick the field goal as time expires to win. Instead, he gave the Chiefs a chance by scoring. Chiefs managed to get to the Browns 26 for a Hail Mary attempt, but again, the east end wind was wreaking havoc on any pass yesterday. Cassel's last gasp wasn't even close. But because Harrison didn't go down at the 2, we had a last gasp. 41-34 Browns.
* Either I'm mellowing out, becoming more accepting of losing, or just don't give a sh*t about this team anymore, because I didn't feel bad at all leaving yesterday. No "dammit we should have won" anger. Just laughing, smiling, talking with the seat neighbors, almost like we'd won. I don't like this development.
* On the way out, said goodbye to Larry and Carl, said goodbye to the new tailgating neighbors in the short bus, thankfully everyone I talked to yesterday said they're renewing for the most part. Good.
* One funny note I forgot -- Chris and Greg, who sit in front of me, they sold off their seats because she had some family deal to be at. The guys who bought their tickets were fun, good folks, only at about halftime, who comes walking down the aisle? Chris! She was listening to the game driving home, and figured "well, let's see if I can get in". Drove right through the gates, parked, and didn't even need a ticket to stroll in. You gotta love it -- Chiefs football is so sh*tty that you literally can show up after kickoff and not pay a dime to witness it.
* Also funny -- watching people try to sell tickets on the walk in. Tyler got $5 for his extra. Dusty got $20 for his extras. Each took a beating given face value on those suckers.
* Postgame tailgate, relatively uneventful. Stuck around for a while, most folks hitting the keg, me hitting the screwdrivers. I hate the last home game, because it means there's a long, long time to go before we do this again for football. (I love tailgating Royals games, don't get me wrong. I'm always up for a summer tailgate. But they're nowhere near as fun or special as Chiefs tailgates.)
* Back at the Bus Barn, a special visit from Santa Gus! Bringing bottled joy to all the boys and girls!
* Got home about 6:50. Had to love watching denver lose, at home, to oakland. (Also had the "if terrorists hit that game today, it is not a national tragedy" debate earlier with our resident donkeys fan. She wasn't amused).
* I almost forgot -- lots of "Jersey Shore" stuff yesterday. Fist pumping to the Black Eyed Peas cd. Jokes about who'd be the first one to "pound one out" in the bus. Breakdowns of MTV not showing Snooki getting pounded, yet leaving no doubt what happened. (Which begs the question: why not just show the damned clip? You'll air a chick lovingly staring at a pierced penis on this show, but you won't air THE clip that put the show on the cultural map? Ridiculous.)
And of course, the King of Making Fun of Himself (me), doing this:
(steve) hold on, here's the situation. (pulls up shirt)
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(steve) it is! It's the situation!
(everyone) (still laughing)
(dusty) (struggling to talk while laughing) that isn't the situation, that's the issue!
Brought the house down.
* Also had to make fun of the tailgating neighbor with the Ed Hardy coozie. As I noted, "isn't that the designer that tool Jon Gosselin wears?" Yup, it is. Enough said.
* Loved the new tradition of hanging the stuffed stockings on the bus for each person. That's something to continue next year.
* Funniest sign during the game: a couple guys over in 133 holding it up. The first poster board said "I should have stayed home to watch this!" with an arrow pointing to the second poster board ... which was nothing but a huge black board.
* So now, the $1000 question. To renew or not to renew. On the field, I'm infuriated with this team, especially with the head coach and his staff. That's documented all over this site. But off the field, things are still good. We added some good folks this year that made the group better. We lost some folks that, again, made the group better as a result. Guess I'm back in for another round next year. I hope all of you are as well.
* And if you're not a season ticket holder, why not get in on the ground floor? You can score season tickets in the upper deck for less than $300. You've got a built in tailgating group that's in it for all the right reasons (love of the team, love of having fun, love of alcohol). Come on. You know you want to ...
(steve) I choose to focus on the positive.
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(steve) For example, I don't have to pay to watch these guys play again until August!
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(tyler) wait, isn't the first payment due in February?
(steve) (realizes tyler is right) dammit! Way to ruin the moment for me pal ...
---------------
Fun fact of the week! Four AFC teams are officially eliminated from playoff consideration. The 3-11 Cleveland Browns. The 5-9 Buffalo Bills. The 5-9 oakland raiders. And your 3-11 Kansas City Chiefs. What do the other three "lovable losers" have in common?
They've all won at Arrowhead this year.
Nice job, Coach Asshat.
Ugh. Yesterday was a lot of things. The end of an era, as the sellout streak crashes and burns. The end of the home portion of the schedule, as the Chiefs will post a sub-.500 record at home for the third consecutive year, something I previous thought impossible to accomplish. The end of a long affiliation with the team for a number of former loyal, die-hard season ticket holders. (Note: I don't blame them one damned bit. Until and unless Todd Haley is replaced as head coach, this team has zero shot of on-field success. Zero. I don't blame anyone for refusing to commit thousands of dollars to a hopeless cause. And the Todd Haley coached Chiefs are the textbook definition of a "hopeless cause").
But yesterday was also hands down the most entertaining game the Chiefs played all season. If you'd told me that a team with 2 wins that has quit on its coach would come in here in late December and stage a shootout for the ages against us, I'd have laughed my ass off at you and asked for some of what you were smoking. So let's call yesterday what it was: one helluva entertaining game, that exposed for all of Arrowhead Nation to see the fatal, unrepairable flaws that Coach Asshat brings to the table.
Todd Must Go. I know I keep saying this every week, the phrase "after yesterday, if anyone still doubts this ...", but seriously. After yesterday, if anyone still doubts this irrefutable, iron-clad fact, if anyone can actually justify giving this inept, incompetent coach a second chance to fail miserably, then please, call Charter or Two Rivers and check yourself in for some professional evaluation of your mental health.
(Or put it this way: when even Jason Whitlock is hopping on board the "Todd Haley is an idiot of a coach" express, and that guy couldn't see a tree in front of him if you planted him in the forest, when even Jason Whitlock is saying "maybe we f*cked up the coaching hire", that ought to tell you something).
As always, let's hit the recap ...
* another late start yesterday. The bus didn't depart the station until almost 7:15, and didn't get to the gates until nearly 7:40. We were still second in line, right behind Larry and next to Carl. Chiefs football. Catch the fever!
* Still had a remarkably high number of riders yesterday. 8 to be exact.
* Gate 6 opened early yesterday! Usually we're the last gate to open, well after the posted 8:30 start time. The bus was parked and unloaded by 8:30 yesterday morning.
* Figured out Carl's secret for how he's always the first one in, usually a solid 20, 25 minutes before the gates open. Ingenius, I say. Ingenius.
* Actual conversation at about 8:20 yesterday morning:
(katie) Kellie just texted me. She says they'll be here in about an hour.
(steve) (laughing hysterically) my ass Dusty and Kellie get here in an hour!
(katie) no, really! She says they're getting ready to head to his folks to get everything.
(steve) (still laughing hysterically) there isn't a shot in hell that kid gets here by 9:30!
They arrived at 9:28. Probably good I didn't wager on his arrival time.
* brutally cold wind yesterday morning. Thankfully, the EZ-ups went, uuh, up relatively easily. It was perfectly comfortable for tailgating.
* the menu yesterday was as good as it gets. Prime rib and boiled shrimp. Veggies, mashed potaters, and toasted rolls. Ridiculously strong wassel -- funny story here. Everyone who tried it, thought it was ridiculously potent. Way too much rum (if that's possible). Once Mona found out about our opinion, she goes "well, Nancy was saying yesterday it was too strong, but you know Nancy, she's not much of a drinker, so I put in some more cranberry juice, but I didn't really believe her". Yeah, it was strong. Toss in plenty of champagne, vodka, orange juice, and 2/3 of a kegger left over from the Christmas party the night before, and, well, for the final time this season ... Ain't we lucky we got 'em? (na na na na na!) Good Times!!!
* the parking lot yesterday was as deserted as it gets. There was nobody, literally nobody, parked between our three tailgating groups and the entrance to Lot G. A solid 75 feet of empty grass until Dusty got there. Then it was a solid 70 feet of deserted grass. Here's where you could crack the "wait, he never leaves grass deserted!" joke ... oh wait, I just did.
* Gregg and his dad showed up about 10:20. No need to hurry out early fellas. Using their other two seats were Brent and J Rob! Gotta love that. Got in some good prep talk for our upcoming BuKCs trip, plus they helped put a dent in the keg. And also led to one of the funniest moments of Tailgating 2009, involving me, Gregg and his dad talking about something, as someone was standing right behind Gordon smoking ... and Gregg and I just looking at each other in awe at Gordo being completely oblivious to the smoke behind him. (It wasn't a cigarette being consumed). G and I just start laughing, and that leads into the "that is the problem with the three man pass rush" joke, and it just started rolling downhill from there. Even the smoker was laughing at Gordo not noticing by the end. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I effing love tailgating.
* Making its first appearance in 2009 ... keg stands! You know things are tanking fast when Tyler of all people gets the stands started.
* Sad news yesterday -- the final home game of Bill Grigsby's career. The Pride of Parkville is stepping aside to "spend more time with his family". Here's hoping the cocktails go down even easier in retirement than they did while you were on the air, champ.
* I completely agree with Gregg, there should be three statues outside of Arrowhead (like the ones outside of Kauffman), of Lamar Hunt, Tony DiParto, and Bill Grigsby. The only debate should be whether Bill is double fisting or not. (I say yes).
* Didn't start heading in until almost 11:30. To say there was no real rush to get inside the gates, is an understatement.
* Broke in the new flask yesterday. And used the old one too. Chiefs security: where people smuggling multiple flasks into the stadium happens!
* Nice gesture on the Chiefs part to offer the $5 vouchers to everyone yesterday.
* Plenty of empty seats yesterday. Nobody sat between the couple next to me and the aisle, and I sit smack dab in the middle of the row.
* Another sad moment. I arrive, get to my seat, and find two ridiculously attractive girls next to me. I'm in utter disbelief. I even texted something like "holy sh*t you should see what's sitting next to me today!" Then Russ arrives, and scares the chicks off. Not sure what he said, but he got to his seat, said a few words, and they were gone. Oh well. I'll just dream about what could have been, I guess.
* Funniest moment during the game: Russ kept losing everything yesterday. He lost his gloves (left them in the bathroom). Lost his phone (fell out of his coat when he took it off). After a while of him constantly losing stuff, we decide to prank him, and Mona manages to get the keys to the bus off of him. The last 15 minutes of the game, Russ is frantically searching under his seat, under the other seats, searching his coat pockets, his jeans pockets, he has no clue where the keys are. Mona and I are laughing hysterically. Russ hasn't caught on yet. We ask him "everything ok?" He's like "yeah, yeah, its good". So as we're leaving afterwards, he's in somewhat of a state of shock and panic, a "how do I explain that I lost the keys" face. Finally we let him in on the prank, and he goes "oh, I knew, I knew". That led to even more laughs, considering he's spent the last 15 minutes looking for the keys. The lesson? When the Chiefs suck this bad, you have to make up your own entertainment. I guess.
* Could not tell you one thing about KC Wolf's sketch. Wasn't paying attention. Although I can probably guess what happened -- "Browns fan" mocks Wolf, runs away, Wolf hops on board conveniently placed ATV and proceeds to beat up "Browns fan" after driving down the tunnel.
* David Cook on the National Anthem! Very nice. But the pregame flyover, uuh, fellas? You were a solid minute, 90 seconds early on that. I'm telling you, single biggest waste of taxpayer money known to mankind, flyovers are.
* Cleveland's opening drive ended in a field goal. The highlight had to be on the 3rd down incompletion, when the PA guy had no clue how to pronounce Mohammed Massaquoi's name. "Pass intended for Mohammed Mass ... Massaq ... Mohammed".
* Chiefs first drive ended in a fumble. Chiefs challenged the ruling. I thought Castille was down. Thought the replay was pretty obvious that he was down. Ref Gene Stenatore didn't see it that way.
* Of course, the fumble didn't matter, as Brandon Carr picked off Brady Quinn's next pass. Quinn looked atrocious yesterday. The whole Cleveland offense in the first half looked atrocious. Sadly, they figured out at halftime "wait, the Chiefs can't stop the run, maybe we might want to give it to this Jerome Harrison dude".
* Chiefs tie things at 3 after the interception, and then Joshua Cribbs happened for the first time. Probably fitting his initials are JC, because I was dropping our Lord and Savior's name repeatedly after that return. Missed tackles everywhere. Sadly, that wasn't even close to the worst moment for the Chiefs special teams yesterday.
* Browns tack on a field goal to push the lead to 13-3. I text "major league voice: these guys are sh*tty!" The first "when are we leaving?" discussions begin.
* a few tailgating folks made it onto the big screen yesterday. Will and our buddy Castro across the street. Of course, considering that between all of us, we made up about half the folks out there yesterday, it makes sense that some members of the group would get some screen time.
* Chiefs score to cut the lead to 13-10. Chambers saved Cassel on the key play of the drive, a 40 yard bomb to the Cleveland 8 that sat up there forever. Chambers managed to make the play. Both teams had issues throwing into the east side of the stadium yesterday. Our end, the wind was fine. East end, not so good.
* Chiefs then get the ball back, and Jamaal Charles is gone, a 50 yard scamper to paydirt. This is starting to turn into a fun little football game.
* And the Chiefs weren't done. Browns ready to punt, and Mona drops the "I feel a block coming up here" comment. Not quite a block ... but the Browns punter screws up the snap, the ball rolls into the end zone, and the Chiefs recover to go up 24-13! Funny moment: the refs are trying to sort out the pile of players to see who has the football, and Andy Studebaker walks up to them with the football. He'd been dancing around the end zone with the ball celebrating the score, as the refs are trying to figure out who has the ball. Good comedy.
* So now, up 24-13, having scored 21 unanswered, the fans that were there are rocking, what do the Chiefs do? If you said "gave up an untouched, unchallenged 103 yard kick return touchdown to Josh Cribbs", you'd be correct. A pathetic, absolutely pathetic, display on that play by the Chiefs special teams. We go to the half at 24-20 Chiefs, and the Chiefs get the ball. So far, a great day of football.
* First possession of the second half, Mark Bradley drops a third down conversion. The boos start raining down. Deservedly so. Our receivers have worse hands than me, and I was routinely the last person picked when we used to play every Sunday at Holy Trinity back in the day because "Steve can't catch the ball".
* Harrison. 71 yards. Untouched right up the middle. Touchdown Browns. To say the Chiefs run defense sucks ass, is an understatement. The Chiefs run defense gave up 351 yards on the ground yesterday. They gave up 200 yards last week to Buffalo. They gave up 245 to denver to open the month. To the surprise of noone, the Chiefs went 0-3 on this homestand.
* Ensuing Chiefs possession, now trailing 27-24, another dropped third down conversion. More boos.
* More proof throwing in the east end was a mess yesterday -- Brady Quinn had a wide open Mohammed, only the wind held up the ball so long that Brandon Flowers was playing center field waiting for the throw. Easy INT. Still 27-24 Browns as we head to the fourth.
* Another Harrison touchdown pushes the lead to 10 at 34-24. I text "i think hes approaching nfl record for one game". He was -- he'd wind up 12 yard shy of posting the NFL's best rushing day ever. I also drop the "if we dont score on this drive were bus bound" text.
* Chiefs manage a field goal, 34-27. Guess I'm sticking around for a while.
* Browns drive, Chiefs D actually stops them on third down, and Dawson from 52 ... no good! Chiefs still alive with about 4 minutes to go!
* Best drive of the season? It opens with a Cassel bomb to D Bowe that is upheld after a Cleveland challenge. A really sweet 3rd down call, an inside draw to Charles that catches the Browns defenders napping to set up the final last gasp to tie. On 4th and 6 at the Browns 12, barely 2 minutes to play, here's your ballgame for all intents and purposes. Cassel calmly takes the snap, and nails a strike to Mark Bradley for the touchdown! Horrendous pass coverage by the Browns on the play, Bradley was wide open. But we'll take it! Tied at 34! 2 minutes to go! Oh. But wait. The Chiefs can't stop the run. And this Harrison dude is pretty good ...
* Dumb decision of the day, by Harrison. After exploding into the Chiefs secondary, he runs the goalline to bleed the clock ... and then crosses the goalline. The Chiefs only had one timeout left. The smart decision there is to fall down at the two, run a play, and kick the field goal as time expires to win. Instead, he gave the Chiefs a chance by scoring. Chiefs managed to get to the Browns 26 for a Hail Mary attempt, but again, the east end wind was wreaking havoc on any pass yesterday. Cassel's last gasp wasn't even close. But because Harrison didn't go down at the 2, we had a last gasp. 41-34 Browns.
* Either I'm mellowing out, becoming more accepting of losing, or just don't give a sh*t about this team anymore, because I didn't feel bad at all leaving yesterday. No "dammit we should have won" anger. Just laughing, smiling, talking with the seat neighbors, almost like we'd won. I don't like this development.
* On the way out, said goodbye to Larry and Carl, said goodbye to the new tailgating neighbors in the short bus, thankfully everyone I talked to yesterday said they're renewing for the most part. Good.
* One funny note I forgot -- Chris and Greg, who sit in front of me, they sold off their seats because she had some family deal to be at. The guys who bought their tickets were fun, good folks, only at about halftime, who comes walking down the aisle? Chris! She was listening to the game driving home, and figured "well, let's see if I can get in". Drove right through the gates, parked, and didn't even need a ticket to stroll in. You gotta love it -- Chiefs football is so sh*tty that you literally can show up after kickoff and not pay a dime to witness it.
* Also funny -- watching people try to sell tickets on the walk in. Tyler got $5 for his extra. Dusty got $20 for his extras. Each took a beating given face value on those suckers.
* Postgame tailgate, relatively uneventful. Stuck around for a while, most folks hitting the keg, me hitting the screwdrivers. I hate the last home game, because it means there's a long, long time to go before we do this again for football. (I love tailgating Royals games, don't get me wrong. I'm always up for a summer tailgate. But they're nowhere near as fun or special as Chiefs tailgates.)
* Back at the Bus Barn, a special visit from Santa Gus! Bringing bottled joy to all the boys and girls!
* Got home about 6:50. Had to love watching denver lose, at home, to oakland. (Also had the "if terrorists hit that game today, it is not a national tragedy" debate earlier with our resident donkeys fan. She wasn't amused).
* I almost forgot -- lots of "Jersey Shore" stuff yesterday. Fist pumping to the Black Eyed Peas cd. Jokes about who'd be the first one to "pound one out" in the bus. Breakdowns of MTV not showing Snooki getting pounded, yet leaving no doubt what happened. (Which begs the question: why not just show the damned clip? You'll air a chick lovingly staring at a pierced penis on this show, but you won't air THE clip that put the show on the cultural map? Ridiculous.)
And of course, the King of Making Fun of Himself (me), doing this:
(steve) hold on, here's the situation. (pulls up shirt)
(everyone) (laughs all around)
(steve) it is! It's the situation!
(everyone) (still laughing)
(dusty) (struggling to talk while laughing) that isn't the situation, that's the issue!
Brought the house down.
* Also had to make fun of the tailgating neighbor with the Ed Hardy coozie. As I noted, "isn't that the designer that tool Jon Gosselin wears?" Yup, it is. Enough said.
* Loved the new tradition of hanging the stuffed stockings on the bus for each person. That's something to continue next year.
* Funniest sign during the game: a couple guys over in 133 holding it up. The first poster board said "I should have stayed home to watch this!" with an arrow pointing to the second poster board ... which was nothing but a huge black board.
* So now, the $1000 question. To renew or not to renew. On the field, I'm infuriated with this team, especially with the head coach and his staff. That's documented all over this site. But off the field, things are still good. We added some good folks this year that made the group better. We lost some folks that, again, made the group better as a result. Guess I'm back in for another round next year. I hope all of you are as well.
* And if you're not a season ticket holder, why not get in on the ground floor? You can score season tickets in the upper deck for less than $300. You've got a built in tailgating group that's in it for all the right reasons (love of the team, love of having fun, love of alcohol). Come on. You know you want to ...
Friday, December 18, 2009
a decade of ... what, exactly?
Sunday's pick: at Chiefs (-3) 24, Browns 10.
Enjoy.
-------------------------
This decade opened for the Chiefs with arguably the second most crushing defeat in franchise history (and certainly the most crushing of my lifetime), a 41-38 overtime thriller to the oakland raiders. This decade will end with the Chiefs 161 game sellout streak coming to a close Sunday against Cleveland.
This certainly was not a "great" decade for Chiefs football. Only two playoff berths, one division title, and zero postseason victories.
But you can't say it wasn't fun. Here's my list of Chiefs highlights, lowlights, and other memorable moments from the decade, not necessarily in organized form.
2000 (The Lost Season):
* the death of DT. The Chiefs have never come close to replacing him, either on the field performance wise, or off the field community presence wise. Thankfully, no Chiefs player has come close to replacing him in terms of his amazing inability to wear a condom.
* Bill Grigsby telling a group of Chiefs fans outside a, uuh, "local establishment" in Nashville that "I hope we beat those f*ckers".
* The Monday nighter against Seattle, when Ed Hochuli's original fan club got all we could ask for. "Sweet Jesus! Ed Hochuli! / Is that a problem guys?" We also told Ed that he needed to steal the win for us that night. I'll be damned if a total desperation Chiefs challenge didn't somehow overturn a Christian Fauria catch to save the game for the Chiefs. (Watch the replay -- there is no way it was incomplete. None. Ed's the best. Plus, it led to one of the great MNF moments ever, when the mics pick up Gunther cursing on the sideline, and Dennis Miller cracking "wasn't me". I still bust out laughing every time I hear that clip.)
* Then following it up a couple weeks later against oakland by telling Johnny Greer "Thank God you're not Hochuli!" and getting one of the longest laughs you'll get out of a ref.
* Closing down Real Mile High in fashion, rallying from a 16-3 deficit to win 23-22 on the strength of Elvis Grbac's arm and Marvcus Patton's hands.
* the Grbeard! Guys my age looked ugly as hell around this town for the whole month of October that year.
* the blowout of the Rams. Complete with a wise prognosticator telling Kurt Warner that "you're going out today!" Second quarter, Warner broke his hand.
* The "Golden Toe" of Todd Peterson to beat the donkeys here in December, sparking my favorite announcer interaction of that season:
(kevin harlan) windchill of 15 below, and he's about a point 15 right about now.
(pan to fat shirtless guy in club level)
(moose johnston) you know, that's a guy who should keep his shirt on when its 85 degrees and sunny, you know?
(laughs all around)
* The firing of Gunther Cunningham as head coach. Always a sign of good, open communication between you and your boss (in this case, Carl Peterson), when you find out you've been fired by reading it on the internet in your office. Did give us Carl's priceless sendoff to Gun though:
(carl) how ya feelin' Gun?
(gunther) how do I look standing here before you?
(carl) confident and classy.
2001 (A New Beginning):
* The Dick Vermeil era begins. Even more impressively, on a Friday in late April, night before the draft, Carl Peterson has arguably his single greatest day as a GM in the league, signing Priest Holmes as a free agent, and trading for Trent Green. I'd argue Priest Holmes is the second or third best free agent signing in NFL history, definitely behind Reggie White signing in Green Bay, and equal to Garrison Hearst signing with the 49ers.
* 9/11 postponing the Seahawks game from week two, to the season finale. And not even three weeks after 9/11, the quacks and kooks were already out in Lafayette Park protesting before America had even responded.
* Beating Marty, in Washington, by 28 points.
* the ridiculousness of the Giants game. I get it, first game post 9/11, New York team, yada yada yada. Everything about that game though was so over the top that it just made me sick. Right down to the fireman ceaselessly passing the boot down the aisle. We get it guys, they need help. Once is enough. I'm not donating 25 effing times.
* Life is Great at Super 8! No, turning on the faucet does not drown out the sounds of a couple having sex. Nice try though.
* welcoming Eagles owner Jeffrey Luria to "a real NFL stadium". He didn't disagree with our assessment.
* the Christmas gift from Donnie Edwards. As well as the shoutout on his old website.
2002 (You Want Offense? We Got Offense Champ!)
* the Ryan Sims draft debacle. In hindsight, its not a good thing the Vikings screwed up and didn't get the card to the podium in time.
* the Tour Stop. I'm not a huge Jim Rome fan ... actually, I'm not a fan at all. But it was pretty cool, just 10,000 plus die hard sports fans listening to national and local figures transfer their passion for KC area sports to you for an afternoon.
* The John Tait Game in Cleveland to open the season. This game sticks out to me, not just for the insane finish, but because it was the first game my old dog Priest ever witnessed. After Ron Blum called the personal foul on Rudd, it was bedlam at the old house. When the field goal went through, it was absolutely insane. How did we win this game? After a celebratory adult beverage (or five), it finally dawned on us, "whoa, where's the dog? Where's Priest?" We searched the whole house looking for him, and he was nowhere to be found. Now we're in a state of panic, like "how the hell do you lose a dog?" Worried he'd escaped out the front door, worried he'd escaped through the garage, he could be anywhere.
(P Diddy was only a couple months old at this point, and had been there for barely a week. It was panic city).
Finally, Gregg noticed a little trail of yellow on the carpet, that led to the coffee table. In the middle interior part of the coffee table, so far back that you couldn't see him except for his eyes, was a scared sh*tless Priest. He was so freaked out by the reaction to the Chiefs win, that he'd whizzed on the carpet and hid from everyone. (I miss my special little guy).
* the Miami game, arguably my favorite game of the decade. Especially after Trent Green nearly decapitated a Dolphins defender blocking downfield for Priest Holmes.
* "The Plea", arguably my finest hour as a writer.
* the loss to denver, a defeat I still have not dealt responsibly with eight years later.
* beating oakland for the first time in three years, to reach .500 at the midpoint.
* The 810 Chiefs Discount! Basically Keitzman had all these local businesses lined up for the second half of the season, and however many points the Chiefs scored, that was your percentage discount at said business that week. After back to back 49 point outings, they had to scrap the program because businesses were literally hemorraging money.
* the shutout of the Cardinals. Gregg said all season long that the 32 Defense had a shutout in them. I immediately took that bet. The lesson? I'm not a good gambler when it comes to sports.
2003 (The Benchmark):
* the last double-header day of the decade! Possibly my favorite day of the decade. A first place Royals team (literally) throwing down with the second place Twins. The Chiefs and Vikings as the nightcap. A day long tailgate. 100 plus degrees and not a cloud in the sky. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: when I'm not the only person at a tailgate with the shirt off, its freaking hot. Plus you had the Tin Cup.
* the four game stretch of heart-attack inducing euphoria. Dante Hall's kick return in Baltimore with 3 minutes to go to beat the Ravens. The rally from down 17 with 8 minutes to play, to win in overtime at Green Bay two weeks later. The fourth game in the stretch, the (literal) goal-line tackle of tim brown to save the raiders game.
But its the second game that always stands out. First of all, there were no tickets to be had that morning. None. Noone was selling them off. 4-0 denver at 4-0 Kansas City. Even with NASCAR running at the Speedway at the same friggin time, NOBODY was selling tickets. Amazing.
Plus, it was a running gag back then that every time Dante Hall did his thing, I was in the bathroom. Never failed. I literally had not witnessed any of his previous 6 kick returns for touchdowns because I was whizzing at the time. (And yes, after the 2nd or 3rd kick I missed, it started to be an intentional thing, I'd get up and leave before 3rd down).
I didn't leave my seat for this one. Because I didn't expect a return. Not given where denver was punting from (midfield) and we were receiving the ball at (our own eight).
What more needs to be said. "The punt by micah knorr. Dante Hall looking up, fields it ... escapes a tackle ... uh oh, now he's around the corner ... and he's found a seam! Look out! Only one player to beat and that's knorr ... ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing something that has never happened before in the National Football League!" The best part about the return is if you pull up the clip, the moment in the broadcast where Kevin Harlan pauses between "and that's knorr ..." and " ... ladies and gentlemen", it got so loud in that stadium that the CBS feed had to distort the broadcast feed so that you could hear the broadcast. The crowd was louder than the friggin CBS microphones. Listen to the clip sometime. When someone asks me "what do you mean by saying 'it felt like old times in there today'", just refer to that play.
(The only other times I can recall it getting that loud, that you couldn't hear the broadcast? The Vanover punt return against the Chargers in 1995. The Pete for President field goal against the donkeys in 1997. The DT sack and fumble recovery of elway in 1992. The DT sack and safety of Steve Young in 1994. And pretty much the entire Bills game in 1991, from the moment the pregame started. Let's just say, Dante Hall's punt return was a huge moment in the annals of franchise history).
(And the thing is, it never stopped getting louder after that. The last eight minutes of that game, the crowd willed the Chiefs to that win. denver should have won. Randy Cross noted that "sometimes you can't overcome one player, he can just beat you". denver that day couldn't overcome one player ... and 80,000 red and gold clad fans cheering like holy hell for the only thing in this town worth cheering for).
* the day of that Green Bay game, not necessarily Chiefs related but I'm watching the IndyCar season finale at Texas afterwards, and that was the race where my favorite driver, Kenny Brack, should have died. Youtube! the clip sometime, its just frightening. Even Paul Page had sheer horror in his voice announcing it, and Page can find humor in just about anything. (Which is probably why he's one of my favorite announcers).
Brack's car literally disintegrates on impact, flying through the air, into the catch fence, and tumbles down the straightaway over and over and over before finally resting. Its the only race I've ever seen that didn't actually finish for reasons other than weather. The IRL officials just called it right then. Brack would triumphantly return in 2005 for one race (the 500), but that wreck (and the 18 months of physical therapy afterwards) pretty much ended his career.
* the roadie to Cincinnati, where I got to sleep on a concrete floor in a hotel with no heat, before getting decked by a drunk Bengals fan during the game, and then driving home in a blinding fog after the game. Good times.
* the roadie to Minnesota, where it was so cold that I vowed that very day that "I will never again go somewhere colder than Kansas City for a sporting event". In a related development, I'm going to Milwaukee in six weeks for a Bucks game. The lesson? I'm full of it.
* the Lions game, overshadowed by catching Saddam that morning. The quietest I've ever heard the Arrowhead parking lot. No music, no party or festival like atmosphere, just everybody watching or listening to news. Then the Chiefs go out and clinch their first division title in six years by destroying the Lions. Other than the fact it was freezing cold, a winner of a day.
* the playoff loss to Indy, offensive football at its finest. Last team with the ball wins. Zero punts. No defense. And the end of the Greg Robinson error.
2004 (The Supreme Disappointment):
* rehiring Gunther Cunningham as defensive coordinator. In hindsight, that really didn't work out.
* the hype, the anticipation, for the 2004 season. The NFL believed in us -- we had four prime time games that year. The schedule, good God, you couldn't draw up a more attractive schedule. Hosting the divisional rivals, plus the Patriots (defending champs), Colts (beat us in the playoffs), the Panthers (defending NFC champs), and Falcons (wildcard team, plus Vick). The only "dud" home game was the Texans. Even the roadies, at Baltimore (defending North champs), at Tennessee (wildcard team), at New Orleans (always an awesome road trip), and Tampa (ditto).
* The tough opening loss at denver. The crushing defeat to Carolina. The backbreaking defeat to Houston to open 0-3, heading to Baltimore on a Monday night. And then, with their backs to the wall and the nation watching, Dick Vermeil's finest coaching hour with this team, as the Chiefs just physically dominated the Ravens. Ray Lewis was more frustrated than DT in the Monday Night Meltdown, drawing nearly as many personal fouls as DT did that night. Season temporarily on.
* the death of Randy. Chiefs games just aren't the same.
* the back-to-back offensive explosions against Atlanta and Indy. 8 touchdowns, all rushing, against the Falcons. Setting up a game against the Colts that I believed would save the season and get us back on track for the playoffs. The Chiefs did beat Indy ... but didn't win again until December. Really, this whole season was just one lost cause, one wasted effort.
* and speaking of wasted, I have never been drunker at that complex than I was for the Falcons game. That was not an easy game to deal with, at all.
2005 (Wasted Opportunity):
* perhaps Carl's most savvy draft pick of the decade, in the 5th round, when the Chiefs took a flyer on some linebacker dude named Boomer Grigsby. Three years of tailgating heaven were born.
* the opening drive of the season. Priest offtackle for 20. Priest offtackle for 30. LJ offtackle for 30 and the six. We ran the same damned play three times in a row, and the Jets couldn't stop it. Sadly, this was the game when some drunk Jets fans behind me got angry when I started taunting them with the Fireman Ed J E T S Jets Jets Jets! chant, so they threw beer on me, ruining my 2003 Division Champs t-shirt.
* the beginning of the end of the fun, the loss to Philly. Man, that one hurt. National TV game, 3:15 start, gorgeous 90 degree afternoon, we get Philly down 17-0 right away, 23-6 before they know what hit them ... and then Trent Green throws a killer "taint" to Lito (oh oh oh oh oh oh!) Shepherd, the Eagles roll off 31 unanswered, and the Chiefs whiz away a game that had they won, would have meant a playoff berth.
* the Dolphins game being moved up because of a hurricane. A completely empty stadium in Miami as the Chiefs rolled the Dolphins (whew. Seriously, I was really nervous about this one, normal conditions we'd have won easily, but moving the game up 48 hours and with a hurricane looming? Yikes).
* the next week in San Diego, when Priest suffered his neck injury he never recovered from. Setting up ...
* 3-4 oakland at 4-3 Kansas City. raiders lead 23-20 with a minute to go. Then Green hits LJ for a 36 yard screen and scramble, down to the oakland 1 yard line. Arrowhead is going nuts. :05 remained. In section 132, this hot as hell blogger was completely unsure of what to do. I thought we had time for a quick pass, a one step drop, if its there throw it, if not spike it, and then try the field goal. Dick Vermeil had other ideas.
Power formation. Its all or nothing. LJ dives ... Touchdown! Kan! Sas! City! The really cool thing is to go back and watch the replay from the end zone -- Shields and Waters are so successful at opening the hole, that Tony Richardson has NOONE to block! Our two lineman completely took the entire right side of the raiders defense out of the play. So as LJ dives in, Richardson just kind of strolls into the end zone to celebrate. I love beating the raiders.
(Ironically, I left the next day for Tampa for a week of meetings. The football fans down there were like "that must have been amazing to see". And it was. That very next week, Gruden did the same thing for the Bucs, going for the win against Washington instead of the tie as time expired).
* beating the Patriots in the rain. Also, postgame tailgating, this was the first time I can recall "Stalker Lady" appearing.
* "The Stand". I still get chills just thinking about it. And not just because it was 5 below zero and approaching 7pm. Chiefs up 31-27, donkeys have 4th and 2 with 2:07 to play at their own 46. shanarat opts to go for it. mike anderson on the inside handoff ... bring on the chains ... first down denver. On the broadcast, a dejected Len Dawson can be heard dropping an expletive. In section 132, this still hot as hell Chiefs fan is irate. (The locals can back me up on this). I'm screaming at the sideline to challenge the spot. I had a perfect angle for that play, and there isn't a shot in hell anderson reached the 48. Total misspot. Thankfully, Mike White saw the same thing I did, and screamed at Vermeil to challenge the spot. We did.
The replay took what seemed like forever. The game, and possibly the division, was all that hung in the balance. Finally Bill Leavy emerges from the hood. "the runner did not reach ..." and as soon as he said "reach", you couldn't hear anything. The stands just exploding with joy. My tear ducts exploding with water. The donkeys broadcasters noting that "the Chiefs players are celebrating on the field ..." Was that really just four short years ago? Oy.
* the roadie to Dallas. Other than me and Dusty's roadie to Indy in 06 for the 500, this is my favorite road trip ever. 30 plus Chiefs fans taking over a wing of the Hampton Inn on Walnut Hill. Me and Gregg spending that Sunday morning breaking into various football stadiums around Dallas. We got into Gerald Ford Stadium at SMU. Came close to getting into the Cotton Bowl. Would have snuck into Amon Carter if it wasn't an hour away. (The lesson: stadium security in Dallas is not very good). The loss killed the Chiefs season, but still a great trip.
2006 (Steve's Favorite Season of the Decade ... and Longest Section of this Post ...):
* the year begins with Carl trading a fourth round pick to the Jets for the rights to head coach Herm Edwards. I was ecstatic. I still think Herm could have worked out here had Carl gotten on board with the rebuild after the 2006 season, instead of waiting another year. That decision to try to win in 2007 rather than tear an aging team apart and start over probably cost both of them their employment last year. It definitely cost Herm his.
* you couldn't script a worse opening to the season. Trent Green, who hasn't missed a game in 5 years, knocked out cold in the rain against Cincinnati. Then the next week, an overtime loss at denver in which neither team found the end zone. 0-2 overall, 0-2 in the conference, 0-1 in the division, already two behind denver and they've got the tiebreaker, and its not even mid September yet. Thankfully, the Chiefs somehow lucked into an early bye that year.
* the bye week, my long-time seatmates Chris and Greg got married. Probably the best wedding I've ever been to. When you showed up, you were asked "what glass would you like?" If you wanted beer, you were given a mug. Wine, a wine glass. Liquor, a cocktail glass. Then after an hour or so of schmoozing and boozing, the wedding itself. Clocked out in barely 5 minutes. Lovely setting (their back yard in the gazebo, they are right on a huge wooded area. Looked neat), with no long drawn out crap, no singing, no ridiculous communion or reciting of vows or candle lighting garbage. In, out, let's party. My kind of wedding.
(and to think people wonder why I have never been married. Good luck selling that "dream wedding" to the future Mrs. Steve ...)
* the 49ers game, a lovely 41-0 victory that suddenly gave the Kingdom a glimmer of hope.
* followed up by the Cardinals game. Falling behind 14-0 barely 5 minutes into the game. Somehow, the Chiefs just kept fighting. Somehow, they just kept coming back, finally taking a 3 point lead on a 76 yard LJ screen pass. The Cards mount a last second drive to get into long field goal range. The kick ... NO GOOD! Wide left! As this hot as hell texter sent via, uuh, text: "season f*cking on!" The three sweetest words in the English language.
(Other than "wanna hook up?", of course).
* the Steelers game, when we were "used as their own personal urinal", according to the kcchiefs.com recap guy. That might be my favorite description of a Chiefs game ever, they "used us as their personal urinal". Then again, its kind of hard to find some positives when you lose 45-7, and it wasn't even that close.
* setting up what I would call Herm's finest hour. (and possibly mine as a prognosticator). The Chiefs are reeling at 2-3. We're starting a QB that hadn't seen regular action in 8 years. Our offensive line is in shambles. Confidence wasn't exactly super high entering a showdown with the red hot unbeaten San Diego "Super" Chargers.
Only something was different that day. You could sense it. I wouldn't call it cockiness, but among the fanbase that day, there was just this expectation of "we're not letting these guys lose today". The defense felt it, definitely, early on. They harassed Rivers into mistake after mistake. San Diego's first four drives? Interception, QB fumble, punt, Interception. The Chiefs led 14-0. Then, as you'd expect, the superior team fought back. Tying the game at 27. But the Chiefs (and the fans) just wouldn't let these guys fold. Down the field we came. Huard to Gonzalez to get us to the 30, setting up Tynes with :09 for a 49 yarder. Its good! But ... false start, Kris Wilson. On the CBS broadcast, you can hear Kevin Harlan openly rooting for KC, when the penalty is called he lets out an audible "no!".
(note: it was a horrible call. Even dick gannon agreed it was a bad call, and whatever I think of dick gannon, he's a pretty unbiased, down the middle commentator who usually gives the refs the benefit of the doubt. Its why he's a good broadcaster. But when he can't find the penalty, you know its a bad call).
But credit Tynes. Who noted afterwards "there wasn't any way I was missing that second kick. It could have been from 65 yards out, it was going in". From 53, Tynes, money. Chiefs 30, Chargers 27. Season so effing on.
The postgame was great too. You left that stadium absolutely exhausted. We'd gone to battle with our guys for 3 1/2 hours, and emerged the winner. Wasn't the last time that would happen in 2006.
* the next week, the defending NFC champs come calling. What is this, murderer's row? Three straight games, at the defending Super Bowl champs, hosting a team that would go 14-2, and now the defending NFC champs? And remember, Damon Huard was hurt, he wasn't expected to play in this game against Seattle. We're down to Brodie Croyle and whoever had the best arm during tailgating in Lot G at QB.
Still ... you just sensed it that morning. The fanbase buying into these guys. "We're not letting you lose this game". And we didn't. All game the Seahawks led. All game the Chiefs rallied, scoring last to win by a touchdown. From 0-2, with a concussed QB lying unconscious on the turf ... to 4-3 and headed to St. Louis.
* and a blowout win over the Rams in one of the worst commentated games ever, the Criqui / Buerelein tandem that led to a memorable explosion / rant by me afterwards in the recap.
* following a tough defeat to the Dolphins, it set up the five days any Chiefs fan would gladly want to experience. oakland and denver, back to back. The first on a frigid Sunday afternoon, the second in front of the nation on Thanksgiving Night. Win both or kiss the playoff hopes goodbye.
The raiders game was ridiculous. Neither team could do a damned thing with the football. It was Trent Green's first game back, and it showed. Leading 13-9 as time ticked down, the Chiefs had their backs to the wall. oakland had 1st and goal at the Chiefs 8. Cue the debut of raider killer Jarrad Page, who picked off aaron brooks' pass to preserve the win and get the Chiefs to 6-4. And ready to welcome the 7-3 donkeys to Arrowhead.
* what a day that was. Its recapped elsewhere on this site. Our tailgating group took Tailgaters of the Game. 50 plus people spread out across the grassy expanse behind Lot G. A game the Chiefs never trailed in. The last snaps of jake "the fake" plummer's career. Brave Bennie Sapp storming the donkeys bench, grabbing the towel, and leading 80,000 Chiefs fans in cheers.
This game to me was the high mark of the decade. I honestly can't put into words just how amazing it was to be there for that day, to experience the high of seeing the team you love, as an underdog, a beat up, desperate, back to the wall underdog, go out and just physically annihilate the team I hate more than any other. At that moment, leaving the stadium that night, the sky was the limit.
These 0-2 scrappers were now 7-4. They had a layup coming up in Cleveland, then a showdown with the AFC's big boys, hosting the 2 loss Ravens, then another prime time showdown at the 2 loss Chargers. For ten days, I was on cloud nine. This team, our team, my team, was the baddest boy on the AFC block. Nobody had done better in their last 9 games than the Chiefs, and we'd beaten the other team to go 7-2 in that stretch.
* And then came Cleveland. The ridiculous loss in overtime to a third string QB.
* And then came Baltimore, where the Chiefs whizzed away a very winnable game with one of the worst cover two defenses I've ever seen, as Derrick Mason literally ran up the field, untouched, as both "Cut" Greg Wesley and Ty Law just watched him fly by.
* And then came the news that the founder of the club, owner Lamar Hunt, had passed away.
* And then came the tough, crushing defeat in San Diego, another very winnable game (20-9 final score) that the Chiefs simply didn't make the play they needed to make in. From 7-4 and riding high, to 7-7 and on the outside looking in, in the span of three weeks. Toss in the death of Mr. Hunt, and the fact that the Chiefs needed so much stuff to happen in the last two weeks, six different combinations of things had to happen, to get us in.
* Which is why you never, ever, ever, give up, until you're mathematically eliminated. First, the Chiefs had to beat oakland. They did, in another prime-time showing. (Hard to believe that this blowout in the black hole was our last prime-time game of the decade huh?) Then the Bengals needed to lose at fake mile high. Incredibly, the Bengals botched a game-tying extra point as time expired, giving the donkeys a 24-23 victory and keeping hope alive one more week. Setting up ...
* The Immaculate Fourfecta. Four outcomes that had to happen, only a couple of which seemed even remotely possible. First, in the cold and the snow, the Chiefs had to take care of business and beat the Jaguars. They did, 35-30, in a classic Arrowhead game (loud crowd willing the team to victory; Bernard Pollard's "holy f*cking sh*t did you see that!!!" punt block for a touchdown, the flea flicker bomb to Kennison, and Herm Edwards going for it up 5 with the game on the line, with Green's hard count drawing the Jaguars offside. Yet another game recapped on this site!)
No sooner was Arrowhead done celebrating the offside penalty to seal the game, than the Arrowvision operator switched to a half empty stadium in Nashville. (The Chiefs did not show the scores related to their playoff hopes that day, and I intentionally didn't pay any attention. If we lost, what did it matter?) Vinny Testaverde was tossing a touchdown for the Patriots, who had steamrolled a Titans team that had won 8 of 10 and simply needed to beat a Pats team playing for nothing and resting every starter. They lost by 25.
Then the screen flipped to Cincinnati, where again, a team playing at home simply needed to beat a team with nothing to play for, to eliminate KC and potentially punch their playoff ticket. Just in time to see Santonio Holmes streaking down the sideline to deliver the win to Pittsburgh. The Chiefs were 5 for 5. Only one obstacle remained.
The 49ers somehow, some way, had to knock off the donkeys in denver.
And somehow, some way, they did. In overtime. On the leg of Joe Nedney, who screwed the Chiefs out of a playoff berth and division championship in 1999 by doing the exact same thing for oakland.
* the playoff loss was tough. Possibly the worst offensive gameplan in franchise history. The Chiefs didn't gain a first down until less than a minute remained in the third quarter.
And yet still, with 12 minutes to go, the Chiefs had the ball with a chance to tie. In that fact is probably why I loved the 2006 season so much. I love overachieving teams. The 2006 Chiefs did that better than any other Chiefs team in the decade.
2007 (The Roof Is Caving In):
* In hindsight, the offseason is when the rebuild should have begun. Carl misread the playoff season of 2006 as proof that they still had enough left in the tank to contend one more time. Herm read it for what it was: the last gasp of a fading franchise.
I was torn between the two viewpoints. I agreed with Herm that it was the last gasp of that core of players. But I also agreed with Carl, that there was still enough talent left to make one last run at respectability before tearing the thing down. In the end, this inability to reconcile the two points of view led to the complete collapse of the team come November, a collapse that still hasn't hit rock bottom.
The offseason also saw some costly personnel decisions. Carl wisely cut the cord with Trent Green, but in typical Carl fashion, completely botched how the transaction went down. He signed LJ to a massive contract after a lengthy holdout, a move that I still believe was correct at the time, but which ended up blowing up in the Chiefs face. The LJ deal also indicated which franchise player Carl was going to pay, and led to the Jared Allen trade a year later.
The 2007 draft, now one of extreme importance due to (a) the aging of the roster, and (b) the complete lack of talent to come out of the 2000-2005 drafts, can only be described as Carl's rock bottom moment. Dwayne Bowe in round one is at best an average NFL receiver. Turk McBride in round two, disaster. Tank Tyler in round three, waste of space. Even day two of the draft, where Carl usually excelled, was a catastrophe. Kolby Smith can't stay healthy. Justin Medlock was cut after one game. Not Carl's finest hour.
* the Chiefs were the featured team on Hard Knocks. Which led to three funny moments: (1) "Ray needs to see you ... and please bring your playbook". (2) when the show's star, Bobby Sippio, figured out he was cousins with Dwayne Bowe. Good grief. But (3) tops them all, with Carl actually handing Herm a set of keys and saying "the car's yours" in relation to the upcoming season. I stood at that scene in utter shock. What sane grown man does something like that? Just a sign of the catastrophe to come.
* season opener in Houston! Awesome road trip. Horrible football game.
* the home opener against the Vikings, where the highlight had to be KC Wolf taking out the drunk dude who ran onto the field.
* another 0-2 open, that then saw the Chiefs run off 4 of 5 to get to 4-3 at the bye, good for first place in the division. With one of the most anticipated games in years coming up, the Packers at Arrowhead.
* A lot of people, if they look back at the last few years, would probably point to the playoff loss in 2006 as the beginning of the end for the Chiefs. And they'd probably be right. But the Green Bay loss was every bit as crushing. The Chiefs led by 4 with 3:13 to play, and Green Bay had 3rd and 6. A stand there, force the punt, and who knows how the second half of the season unfolds. At 5-3, with denver coming to town, the confidence and swagger and fanbase willing this team to win just like in 2006 back in effect ... sadly, we'll never know, because Favre unloaded the bomb to Jennings, then Woodson returned the pick six to seal the game. The Chiefs wouldn't win again for 10 months.
* the denver game was horrendous. A 6-2 score at the half. denver scores 20 unanswered in 4 minutes to open the second half. Let's just say, I was not a happy camper after the game.
* the "Restore the Tradition" tailgate against oakland, it was fun for one day to relive the past. But one day was enough. Too much has changed since Randy died. Too much has changed. And not all of it for the better.
* the season finale, pitting two wildcard teams from the previous season, that each limped in with double digit losses. Wretched football at its finest, with the Jets winning in overtime. The Chiefs finished 4-12, their worst record since 1988.
2008 (The Caving Roof Takes Out the Floor As Well):
* the 9 game losing streak to end the season convinced Carl that it was time to rebuild. Lots of veterans shown the door.
* Jared Allen traded to Minnesota for what's turned into Branden Albert, Brad Cottam, and Jamaal Charles. Albert's struggling. Cottam is useless. Charles maybe can develop into a decent Warrick Dunn type back, if he gets over his fumbling problem. Still, no matter how you look at it two years out, Minnesota fleeced us.
* the first season I didn't go to a game when I already had the tickets since ... uuh ... ever. I skipped the Rams preseason finale ... to watch Obama's acceptance speech at the DNC. I also skipped the Dolphins regular season finale because it was -5 degrees out, and we sucked.
* three straight losses to open the season. Running the streak to 12.
* the defining moment of the season. The sole highlight of the season. The win over denver. I have very few rules in life, but anytime you can spend a late September day out in 90 degree heat, and watch your favorite team beat up your most hated team, I have to do it. Also the game when I kept getting these text messages from a number I didn't have stored that said "is the shirt off yet", "take the shirt off", "dammit take the shirt off". At least someone in the stadium wanted me! Sadly, she is married to Gregg, so that ain't happening.
* the Titans game, when we got Tailgaters of the Game again. And saw Chris Johnson play the bongo after scoring on a ridiculously long touchdown run.
* the whizzed away Jets game. We had them beat. I hate losses like that.
* the blown 21-3 lead to Tampa. Not a good afternoon.
* ditto the game in denver. I really hate losses like to those guys.
* the end of an era, as Carl Peterson stepped down in late December. Probably two years too late in hindsight.
* also the end of an era (or error?), as Herm Edwards was fired as head coach.
* worst record in team history, 2-14. Ouch.
2009 (Uuh, This Is Progress? Really? This Is Progress?)
* your new GM? The hottest name on the market, Scott Pioli from the Patriots.
* your new head coach? The offensive coordinator of the NFC champions, Todd Haley.
* Sign that one of those hirings probably was a premature promotion -- when Haley dropped his infamous "any 22 guys on the street could win two games", and then refused to meet with one of his best players (Brian Waters) regarding the comment. Haley's irratibility continues to affect the Chiefs in a negative way.
* Pioli's first draft pick? Tyson Jackson. The rest of the draft hasn't really contributed much yet, save for Mr. Irrelevant, Ryan Succup. The best kicker the Chiefs have had since I was in college.
* the trade for Cassel and Mike Vrabel. I was very happy with the trade at the time. I still think Cassel's gonna be good, even if the contract extension was a mistake. Vrabel has been what I expected, a veteran on the down side of his career.
* the signing of Mike Brown. In one word: disasterous. And not just because it led to the cut of Bernard Pollard, which was a huge mistake.
* Haley firing OC Chan Gailey with two weeks to go before the start of the season. Idiocy, yet it was probably the right decision given their personality clashes. Still, you won't convince me this team wouldn't have three more wins at this point with Haley not calling plays (and getting distracted from game management). We absolutely would have won oakland, Dallas and Buffalo with a separate offensive coordinator.
* tough opening defeat in Baltimore, a game that was tied with 5 minutes to go. The Chiefs were 13 point dogs, and nearly won.
* tough home opening defeat to oakland. That's three straight losses at home to the hated raiders and counting.
* really tough loss to Dallas, collapsing in the second half, rallying to force overtime, and then neglecting to give Leggett help covering Miles Austin.
* the first win, at Washington. Pretty much sealed Jim Zorn's fate.
* two 30 plus point losses to the Chargers. This rebuild has a ways to go.
* an at the time stunning upset of the Steelers. Arrowhead's finest hour this season, that's for sure.
* a blowout defeat at home to denver thanks to a stupid decision to fake a punt. An unforgivable offense in my book, losing at home to denver.
* and come Sunday, the end of the sellout streak, against the Browns. The last time a Chiefs game wasn't televised, well, its probably good it wasn't that day, as Warren Moon torched us for 500 plus yards and Steve DeBerg broke his pinky, leading to the most ridiculous looking hand bandage ever devised. Also, I was in 8th grade. I turn 33 in three weeks. Its been awhile.
Thoughts, suggestions, other Chiefs inquiries? Feel free to post away in the comments section ...
Enjoy.
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This decade opened for the Chiefs with arguably the second most crushing defeat in franchise history (and certainly the most crushing of my lifetime), a 41-38 overtime thriller to the oakland raiders. This decade will end with the Chiefs 161 game sellout streak coming to a close Sunday against Cleveland.
This certainly was not a "great" decade for Chiefs football. Only two playoff berths, one division title, and zero postseason victories.
But you can't say it wasn't fun. Here's my list of Chiefs highlights, lowlights, and other memorable moments from the decade, not necessarily in organized form.
2000 (The Lost Season):
* the death of DT. The Chiefs have never come close to replacing him, either on the field performance wise, or off the field community presence wise. Thankfully, no Chiefs player has come close to replacing him in terms of his amazing inability to wear a condom.
* Bill Grigsby telling a group of Chiefs fans outside a, uuh, "local establishment" in Nashville that "I hope we beat those f*ckers".
* The Monday nighter against Seattle, when Ed Hochuli's original fan club got all we could ask for. "Sweet Jesus! Ed Hochuli! / Is that a problem guys?" We also told Ed that he needed to steal the win for us that night. I'll be damned if a total desperation Chiefs challenge didn't somehow overturn a Christian Fauria catch to save the game for the Chiefs. (Watch the replay -- there is no way it was incomplete. None. Ed's the best. Plus, it led to one of the great MNF moments ever, when the mics pick up Gunther cursing on the sideline, and Dennis Miller cracking "wasn't me". I still bust out laughing every time I hear that clip.)
* Then following it up a couple weeks later against oakland by telling Johnny Greer "Thank God you're not Hochuli!" and getting one of the longest laughs you'll get out of a ref.
* Closing down Real Mile High in fashion, rallying from a 16-3 deficit to win 23-22 on the strength of Elvis Grbac's arm and Marvcus Patton's hands.
* the Grbeard! Guys my age looked ugly as hell around this town for the whole month of October that year.
* the blowout of the Rams. Complete with a wise prognosticator telling Kurt Warner that "you're going out today!" Second quarter, Warner broke his hand.
* The "Golden Toe" of Todd Peterson to beat the donkeys here in December, sparking my favorite announcer interaction of that season:
(kevin harlan) windchill of 15 below, and he's about a point 15 right about now.
(pan to fat shirtless guy in club level)
(moose johnston) you know, that's a guy who should keep his shirt on when its 85 degrees and sunny, you know?
(laughs all around)
* The firing of Gunther Cunningham as head coach. Always a sign of good, open communication between you and your boss (in this case, Carl Peterson), when you find out you've been fired by reading it on the internet in your office. Did give us Carl's priceless sendoff to Gun though:
(carl) how ya feelin' Gun?
(gunther) how do I look standing here before you?
(carl) confident and classy.
2001 (A New Beginning):
* The Dick Vermeil era begins. Even more impressively, on a Friday in late April, night before the draft, Carl Peterson has arguably his single greatest day as a GM in the league, signing Priest Holmes as a free agent, and trading for Trent Green. I'd argue Priest Holmes is the second or third best free agent signing in NFL history, definitely behind Reggie White signing in Green Bay, and equal to Garrison Hearst signing with the 49ers.
* 9/11 postponing the Seahawks game from week two, to the season finale. And not even three weeks after 9/11, the quacks and kooks were already out in Lafayette Park protesting before America had even responded.
* Beating Marty, in Washington, by 28 points.
* the ridiculousness of the Giants game. I get it, first game post 9/11, New York team, yada yada yada. Everything about that game though was so over the top that it just made me sick. Right down to the fireman ceaselessly passing the boot down the aisle. We get it guys, they need help. Once is enough. I'm not donating 25 effing times.
* Life is Great at Super 8! No, turning on the faucet does not drown out the sounds of a couple having sex. Nice try though.
* welcoming Eagles owner Jeffrey Luria to "a real NFL stadium". He didn't disagree with our assessment.
* the Christmas gift from Donnie Edwards. As well as the shoutout on his old website.
2002 (You Want Offense? We Got Offense Champ!)
* the Ryan Sims draft debacle. In hindsight, its not a good thing the Vikings screwed up and didn't get the card to the podium in time.
* the Tour Stop. I'm not a huge Jim Rome fan ... actually, I'm not a fan at all. But it was pretty cool, just 10,000 plus die hard sports fans listening to national and local figures transfer their passion for KC area sports to you for an afternoon.
* The John Tait Game in Cleveland to open the season. This game sticks out to me, not just for the insane finish, but because it was the first game my old dog Priest ever witnessed. After Ron Blum called the personal foul on Rudd, it was bedlam at the old house. When the field goal went through, it was absolutely insane. How did we win this game? After a celebratory adult beverage (or five), it finally dawned on us, "whoa, where's the dog? Where's Priest?" We searched the whole house looking for him, and he was nowhere to be found. Now we're in a state of panic, like "how the hell do you lose a dog?" Worried he'd escaped out the front door, worried he'd escaped through the garage, he could be anywhere.
(P Diddy was only a couple months old at this point, and had been there for barely a week. It was panic city).
Finally, Gregg noticed a little trail of yellow on the carpet, that led to the coffee table. In the middle interior part of the coffee table, so far back that you couldn't see him except for his eyes, was a scared sh*tless Priest. He was so freaked out by the reaction to the Chiefs win, that he'd whizzed on the carpet and hid from everyone. (I miss my special little guy).
* the Miami game, arguably my favorite game of the decade. Especially after Trent Green nearly decapitated a Dolphins defender blocking downfield for Priest Holmes.
* "The Plea", arguably my finest hour as a writer.
* the loss to denver, a defeat I still have not dealt responsibly with eight years later.
* beating oakland for the first time in three years, to reach .500 at the midpoint.
* The 810 Chiefs Discount! Basically Keitzman had all these local businesses lined up for the second half of the season, and however many points the Chiefs scored, that was your percentage discount at said business that week. After back to back 49 point outings, they had to scrap the program because businesses were literally hemorraging money.
* the shutout of the Cardinals. Gregg said all season long that the 32 Defense had a shutout in them. I immediately took that bet. The lesson? I'm not a good gambler when it comes to sports.
2003 (The Benchmark):
* the last double-header day of the decade! Possibly my favorite day of the decade. A first place Royals team (literally) throwing down with the second place Twins. The Chiefs and Vikings as the nightcap. A day long tailgate. 100 plus degrees and not a cloud in the sky. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: when I'm not the only person at a tailgate with the shirt off, its freaking hot. Plus you had the Tin Cup.
* the four game stretch of heart-attack inducing euphoria. Dante Hall's kick return in Baltimore with 3 minutes to go to beat the Ravens. The rally from down 17 with 8 minutes to play, to win in overtime at Green Bay two weeks later. The fourth game in the stretch, the (literal) goal-line tackle of tim brown to save the raiders game.
But its the second game that always stands out. First of all, there were no tickets to be had that morning. None. Noone was selling them off. 4-0 denver at 4-0 Kansas City. Even with NASCAR running at the Speedway at the same friggin time, NOBODY was selling tickets. Amazing.
Plus, it was a running gag back then that every time Dante Hall did his thing, I was in the bathroom. Never failed. I literally had not witnessed any of his previous 6 kick returns for touchdowns because I was whizzing at the time. (And yes, after the 2nd or 3rd kick I missed, it started to be an intentional thing, I'd get up and leave before 3rd down).
I didn't leave my seat for this one. Because I didn't expect a return. Not given where denver was punting from (midfield) and we were receiving the ball at (our own eight).
What more needs to be said. "The punt by micah knorr. Dante Hall looking up, fields it ... escapes a tackle ... uh oh, now he's around the corner ... and he's found a seam! Look out! Only one player to beat and that's knorr ... ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing something that has never happened before in the National Football League!" The best part about the return is if you pull up the clip, the moment in the broadcast where Kevin Harlan pauses between "and that's knorr ..." and " ... ladies and gentlemen", it got so loud in that stadium that the CBS feed had to distort the broadcast feed so that you could hear the broadcast. The crowd was louder than the friggin CBS microphones. Listen to the clip sometime. When someone asks me "what do you mean by saying 'it felt like old times in there today'", just refer to that play.
(The only other times I can recall it getting that loud, that you couldn't hear the broadcast? The Vanover punt return against the Chargers in 1995. The Pete for President field goal against the donkeys in 1997. The DT sack and fumble recovery of elway in 1992. The DT sack and safety of Steve Young in 1994. And pretty much the entire Bills game in 1991, from the moment the pregame started. Let's just say, Dante Hall's punt return was a huge moment in the annals of franchise history).
(And the thing is, it never stopped getting louder after that. The last eight minutes of that game, the crowd willed the Chiefs to that win. denver should have won. Randy Cross noted that "sometimes you can't overcome one player, he can just beat you". denver that day couldn't overcome one player ... and 80,000 red and gold clad fans cheering like holy hell for the only thing in this town worth cheering for).
* the day of that Green Bay game, not necessarily Chiefs related but I'm watching the IndyCar season finale at Texas afterwards, and that was the race where my favorite driver, Kenny Brack, should have died. Youtube! the clip sometime, its just frightening. Even Paul Page had sheer horror in his voice announcing it, and Page can find humor in just about anything. (Which is probably why he's one of my favorite announcers).
Brack's car literally disintegrates on impact, flying through the air, into the catch fence, and tumbles down the straightaway over and over and over before finally resting. Its the only race I've ever seen that didn't actually finish for reasons other than weather. The IRL officials just called it right then. Brack would triumphantly return in 2005 for one race (the 500), but that wreck (and the 18 months of physical therapy afterwards) pretty much ended his career.
* the roadie to Cincinnati, where I got to sleep on a concrete floor in a hotel with no heat, before getting decked by a drunk Bengals fan during the game, and then driving home in a blinding fog after the game. Good times.
* the roadie to Minnesota, where it was so cold that I vowed that very day that "I will never again go somewhere colder than Kansas City for a sporting event". In a related development, I'm going to Milwaukee in six weeks for a Bucks game. The lesson? I'm full of it.
* the Lions game, overshadowed by catching Saddam that morning. The quietest I've ever heard the Arrowhead parking lot. No music, no party or festival like atmosphere, just everybody watching or listening to news. Then the Chiefs go out and clinch their first division title in six years by destroying the Lions. Other than the fact it was freezing cold, a winner of a day.
* the playoff loss to Indy, offensive football at its finest. Last team with the ball wins. Zero punts. No defense. And the end of the Greg Robinson error.
2004 (The Supreme Disappointment):
* rehiring Gunther Cunningham as defensive coordinator. In hindsight, that really didn't work out.
* the hype, the anticipation, for the 2004 season. The NFL believed in us -- we had four prime time games that year. The schedule, good God, you couldn't draw up a more attractive schedule. Hosting the divisional rivals, plus the Patriots (defending champs), Colts (beat us in the playoffs), the Panthers (defending NFC champs), and Falcons (wildcard team, plus Vick). The only "dud" home game was the Texans. Even the roadies, at Baltimore (defending North champs), at Tennessee (wildcard team), at New Orleans (always an awesome road trip), and Tampa (ditto).
* The tough opening loss at denver. The crushing defeat to Carolina. The backbreaking defeat to Houston to open 0-3, heading to Baltimore on a Monday night. And then, with their backs to the wall and the nation watching, Dick Vermeil's finest coaching hour with this team, as the Chiefs just physically dominated the Ravens. Ray Lewis was more frustrated than DT in the Monday Night Meltdown, drawing nearly as many personal fouls as DT did that night. Season temporarily on.
* the death of Randy. Chiefs games just aren't the same.
* the back-to-back offensive explosions against Atlanta and Indy. 8 touchdowns, all rushing, against the Falcons. Setting up a game against the Colts that I believed would save the season and get us back on track for the playoffs. The Chiefs did beat Indy ... but didn't win again until December. Really, this whole season was just one lost cause, one wasted effort.
* and speaking of wasted, I have never been drunker at that complex than I was for the Falcons game. That was not an easy game to deal with, at all.
2005 (Wasted Opportunity):
* perhaps Carl's most savvy draft pick of the decade, in the 5th round, when the Chiefs took a flyer on some linebacker dude named Boomer Grigsby. Three years of tailgating heaven were born.
* the opening drive of the season. Priest offtackle for 20. Priest offtackle for 30. LJ offtackle for 30 and the six. We ran the same damned play three times in a row, and the Jets couldn't stop it. Sadly, this was the game when some drunk Jets fans behind me got angry when I started taunting them with the Fireman Ed J E T S Jets Jets Jets! chant, so they threw beer on me, ruining my 2003 Division Champs t-shirt.
* the beginning of the end of the fun, the loss to Philly. Man, that one hurt. National TV game, 3:15 start, gorgeous 90 degree afternoon, we get Philly down 17-0 right away, 23-6 before they know what hit them ... and then Trent Green throws a killer "taint" to Lito (oh oh oh oh oh oh!) Shepherd, the Eagles roll off 31 unanswered, and the Chiefs whiz away a game that had they won, would have meant a playoff berth.
* the Dolphins game being moved up because of a hurricane. A completely empty stadium in Miami as the Chiefs rolled the Dolphins (whew. Seriously, I was really nervous about this one, normal conditions we'd have won easily, but moving the game up 48 hours and with a hurricane looming? Yikes).
* the next week in San Diego, when Priest suffered his neck injury he never recovered from. Setting up ...
* 3-4 oakland at 4-3 Kansas City. raiders lead 23-20 with a minute to go. Then Green hits LJ for a 36 yard screen and scramble, down to the oakland 1 yard line. Arrowhead is going nuts. :05 remained. In section 132, this hot as hell blogger was completely unsure of what to do. I thought we had time for a quick pass, a one step drop, if its there throw it, if not spike it, and then try the field goal. Dick Vermeil had other ideas.
Power formation. Its all or nothing. LJ dives ... Touchdown! Kan! Sas! City! The really cool thing is to go back and watch the replay from the end zone -- Shields and Waters are so successful at opening the hole, that Tony Richardson has NOONE to block! Our two lineman completely took the entire right side of the raiders defense out of the play. So as LJ dives in, Richardson just kind of strolls into the end zone to celebrate. I love beating the raiders.
(Ironically, I left the next day for Tampa for a week of meetings. The football fans down there were like "that must have been amazing to see". And it was. That very next week, Gruden did the same thing for the Bucs, going for the win against Washington instead of the tie as time expired).
* beating the Patriots in the rain. Also, postgame tailgating, this was the first time I can recall "Stalker Lady" appearing.
* "The Stand". I still get chills just thinking about it. And not just because it was 5 below zero and approaching 7pm. Chiefs up 31-27, donkeys have 4th and 2 with 2:07 to play at their own 46. shanarat opts to go for it. mike anderson on the inside handoff ... bring on the chains ... first down denver. On the broadcast, a dejected Len Dawson can be heard dropping an expletive. In section 132, this still hot as hell Chiefs fan is irate. (The locals can back me up on this). I'm screaming at the sideline to challenge the spot. I had a perfect angle for that play, and there isn't a shot in hell anderson reached the 48. Total misspot. Thankfully, Mike White saw the same thing I did, and screamed at Vermeil to challenge the spot. We did.
The replay took what seemed like forever. The game, and possibly the division, was all that hung in the balance. Finally Bill Leavy emerges from the hood. "the runner did not reach ..." and as soon as he said "reach", you couldn't hear anything. The stands just exploding with joy. My tear ducts exploding with water. The donkeys broadcasters noting that "the Chiefs players are celebrating on the field ..." Was that really just four short years ago? Oy.
* the roadie to Dallas. Other than me and Dusty's roadie to Indy in 06 for the 500, this is my favorite road trip ever. 30 plus Chiefs fans taking over a wing of the Hampton Inn on Walnut Hill. Me and Gregg spending that Sunday morning breaking into various football stadiums around Dallas. We got into Gerald Ford Stadium at SMU. Came close to getting into the Cotton Bowl. Would have snuck into Amon Carter if it wasn't an hour away. (The lesson: stadium security in Dallas is not very good). The loss killed the Chiefs season, but still a great trip.
2006 (Steve's Favorite Season of the Decade ... and Longest Section of this Post ...):
* the year begins with Carl trading a fourth round pick to the Jets for the rights to head coach Herm Edwards. I was ecstatic. I still think Herm could have worked out here had Carl gotten on board with the rebuild after the 2006 season, instead of waiting another year. That decision to try to win in 2007 rather than tear an aging team apart and start over probably cost both of them their employment last year. It definitely cost Herm his.
* you couldn't script a worse opening to the season. Trent Green, who hasn't missed a game in 5 years, knocked out cold in the rain against Cincinnati. Then the next week, an overtime loss at denver in which neither team found the end zone. 0-2 overall, 0-2 in the conference, 0-1 in the division, already two behind denver and they've got the tiebreaker, and its not even mid September yet. Thankfully, the Chiefs somehow lucked into an early bye that year.
* the bye week, my long-time seatmates Chris and Greg got married. Probably the best wedding I've ever been to. When you showed up, you were asked "what glass would you like?" If you wanted beer, you were given a mug. Wine, a wine glass. Liquor, a cocktail glass. Then after an hour or so of schmoozing and boozing, the wedding itself. Clocked out in barely 5 minutes. Lovely setting (their back yard in the gazebo, they are right on a huge wooded area. Looked neat), with no long drawn out crap, no singing, no ridiculous communion or reciting of vows or candle lighting garbage. In, out, let's party. My kind of wedding.
(and to think people wonder why I have never been married. Good luck selling that "dream wedding" to the future Mrs. Steve ...)
* the 49ers game, a lovely 41-0 victory that suddenly gave the Kingdom a glimmer of hope.
* followed up by the Cardinals game. Falling behind 14-0 barely 5 minutes into the game. Somehow, the Chiefs just kept fighting. Somehow, they just kept coming back, finally taking a 3 point lead on a 76 yard LJ screen pass. The Cards mount a last second drive to get into long field goal range. The kick ... NO GOOD! Wide left! As this hot as hell texter sent via, uuh, text: "season f*cking on!" The three sweetest words in the English language.
(Other than "wanna hook up?", of course).
* the Steelers game, when we were "used as their own personal urinal", according to the kcchiefs.com recap guy. That might be my favorite description of a Chiefs game ever, they "used us as their personal urinal". Then again, its kind of hard to find some positives when you lose 45-7, and it wasn't even that close.
* setting up what I would call Herm's finest hour. (and possibly mine as a prognosticator). The Chiefs are reeling at 2-3. We're starting a QB that hadn't seen regular action in 8 years. Our offensive line is in shambles. Confidence wasn't exactly super high entering a showdown with the red hot unbeaten San Diego "Super" Chargers.
Only something was different that day. You could sense it. I wouldn't call it cockiness, but among the fanbase that day, there was just this expectation of "we're not letting these guys lose today". The defense felt it, definitely, early on. They harassed Rivers into mistake after mistake. San Diego's first four drives? Interception, QB fumble, punt, Interception. The Chiefs led 14-0. Then, as you'd expect, the superior team fought back. Tying the game at 27. But the Chiefs (and the fans) just wouldn't let these guys fold. Down the field we came. Huard to Gonzalez to get us to the 30, setting up Tynes with :09 for a 49 yarder. Its good! But ... false start, Kris Wilson. On the CBS broadcast, you can hear Kevin Harlan openly rooting for KC, when the penalty is called he lets out an audible "no!".
(note: it was a horrible call. Even dick gannon agreed it was a bad call, and whatever I think of dick gannon, he's a pretty unbiased, down the middle commentator who usually gives the refs the benefit of the doubt. Its why he's a good broadcaster. But when he can't find the penalty, you know its a bad call).
But credit Tynes. Who noted afterwards "there wasn't any way I was missing that second kick. It could have been from 65 yards out, it was going in". From 53, Tynes, money. Chiefs 30, Chargers 27. Season so effing on.
The postgame was great too. You left that stadium absolutely exhausted. We'd gone to battle with our guys for 3 1/2 hours, and emerged the winner. Wasn't the last time that would happen in 2006.
* the next week, the defending NFC champs come calling. What is this, murderer's row? Three straight games, at the defending Super Bowl champs, hosting a team that would go 14-2, and now the defending NFC champs? And remember, Damon Huard was hurt, he wasn't expected to play in this game against Seattle. We're down to Brodie Croyle and whoever had the best arm during tailgating in Lot G at QB.
Still ... you just sensed it that morning. The fanbase buying into these guys. "We're not letting you lose this game". And we didn't. All game the Seahawks led. All game the Chiefs rallied, scoring last to win by a touchdown. From 0-2, with a concussed QB lying unconscious on the turf ... to 4-3 and headed to St. Louis.
* and a blowout win over the Rams in one of the worst commentated games ever, the Criqui / Buerelein tandem that led to a memorable explosion / rant by me afterwards in the recap.
* following a tough defeat to the Dolphins, it set up the five days any Chiefs fan would gladly want to experience. oakland and denver, back to back. The first on a frigid Sunday afternoon, the second in front of the nation on Thanksgiving Night. Win both or kiss the playoff hopes goodbye.
The raiders game was ridiculous. Neither team could do a damned thing with the football. It was Trent Green's first game back, and it showed. Leading 13-9 as time ticked down, the Chiefs had their backs to the wall. oakland had 1st and goal at the Chiefs 8. Cue the debut of raider killer Jarrad Page, who picked off aaron brooks' pass to preserve the win and get the Chiefs to 6-4. And ready to welcome the 7-3 donkeys to Arrowhead.
* what a day that was. Its recapped elsewhere on this site. Our tailgating group took Tailgaters of the Game. 50 plus people spread out across the grassy expanse behind Lot G. A game the Chiefs never trailed in. The last snaps of jake "the fake" plummer's career. Brave Bennie Sapp storming the donkeys bench, grabbing the towel, and leading 80,000 Chiefs fans in cheers.
This game to me was the high mark of the decade. I honestly can't put into words just how amazing it was to be there for that day, to experience the high of seeing the team you love, as an underdog, a beat up, desperate, back to the wall underdog, go out and just physically annihilate the team I hate more than any other. At that moment, leaving the stadium that night, the sky was the limit.
These 0-2 scrappers were now 7-4. They had a layup coming up in Cleveland, then a showdown with the AFC's big boys, hosting the 2 loss Ravens, then another prime time showdown at the 2 loss Chargers. For ten days, I was on cloud nine. This team, our team, my team, was the baddest boy on the AFC block. Nobody had done better in their last 9 games than the Chiefs, and we'd beaten the other team to go 7-2 in that stretch.
* And then came Cleveland. The ridiculous loss in overtime to a third string QB.
* And then came Baltimore, where the Chiefs whizzed away a very winnable game with one of the worst cover two defenses I've ever seen, as Derrick Mason literally ran up the field, untouched, as both "Cut" Greg Wesley and Ty Law just watched him fly by.
* And then came the news that the founder of the club, owner Lamar Hunt, had passed away.
* And then came the tough, crushing defeat in San Diego, another very winnable game (20-9 final score) that the Chiefs simply didn't make the play they needed to make in. From 7-4 and riding high, to 7-7 and on the outside looking in, in the span of three weeks. Toss in the death of Mr. Hunt, and the fact that the Chiefs needed so much stuff to happen in the last two weeks, six different combinations of things had to happen, to get us in.
* Which is why you never, ever, ever, give up, until you're mathematically eliminated. First, the Chiefs had to beat oakland. They did, in another prime-time showing. (Hard to believe that this blowout in the black hole was our last prime-time game of the decade huh?) Then the Bengals needed to lose at fake mile high. Incredibly, the Bengals botched a game-tying extra point as time expired, giving the donkeys a 24-23 victory and keeping hope alive one more week. Setting up ...
* The Immaculate Fourfecta. Four outcomes that had to happen, only a couple of which seemed even remotely possible. First, in the cold and the snow, the Chiefs had to take care of business and beat the Jaguars. They did, 35-30, in a classic Arrowhead game (loud crowd willing the team to victory; Bernard Pollard's "holy f*cking sh*t did you see that!!!" punt block for a touchdown, the flea flicker bomb to Kennison, and Herm Edwards going for it up 5 with the game on the line, with Green's hard count drawing the Jaguars offside. Yet another game recapped on this site!)
No sooner was Arrowhead done celebrating the offside penalty to seal the game, than the Arrowvision operator switched to a half empty stadium in Nashville. (The Chiefs did not show the scores related to their playoff hopes that day, and I intentionally didn't pay any attention. If we lost, what did it matter?) Vinny Testaverde was tossing a touchdown for the Patriots, who had steamrolled a Titans team that had won 8 of 10 and simply needed to beat a Pats team playing for nothing and resting every starter. They lost by 25.
Then the screen flipped to Cincinnati, where again, a team playing at home simply needed to beat a team with nothing to play for, to eliminate KC and potentially punch their playoff ticket. Just in time to see Santonio Holmes streaking down the sideline to deliver the win to Pittsburgh. The Chiefs were 5 for 5. Only one obstacle remained.
The 49ers somehow, some way, had to knock off the donkeys in denver.
And somehow, some way, they did. In overtime. On the leg of Joe Nedney, who screwed the Chiefs out of a playoff berth and division championship in 1999 by doing the exact same thing for oakland.
* the playoff loss was tough. Possibly the worst offensive gameplan in franchise history. The Chiefs didn't gain a first down until less than a minute remained in the third quarter.
And yet still, with 12 minutes to go, the Chiefs had the ball with a chance to tie. In that fact is probably why I loved the 2006 season so much. I love overachieving teams. The 2006 Chiefs did that better than any other Chiefs team in the decade.
2007 (The Roof Is Caving In):
* In hindsight, the offseason is when the rebuild should have begun. Carl misread the playoff season of 2006 as proof that they still had enough left in the tank to contend one more time. Herm read it for what it was: the last gasp of a fading franchise.
I was torn between the two viewpoints. I agreed with Herm that it was the last gasp of that core of players. But I also agreed with Carl, that there was still enough talent left to make one last run at respectability before tearing the thing down. In the end, this inability to reconcile the two points of view led to the complete collapse of the team come November, a collapse that still hasn't hit rock bottom.
The offseason also saw some costly personnel decisions. Carl wisely cut the cord with Trent Green, but in typical Carl fashion, completely botched how the transaction went down. He signed LJ to a massive contract after a lengthy holdout, a move that I still believe was correct at the time, but which ended up blowing up in the Chiefs face. The LJ deal also indicated which franchise player Carl was going to pay, and led to the Jared Allen trade a year later.
The 2007 draft, now one of extreme importance due to (a) the aging of the roster, and (b) the complete lack of talent to come out of the 2000-2005 drafts, can only be described as Carl's rock bottom moment. Dwayne Bowe in round one is at best an average NFL receiver. Turk McBride in round two, disaster. Tank Tyler in round three, waste of space. Even day two of the draft, where Carl usually excelled, was a catastrophe. Kolby Smith can't stay healthy. Justin Medlock was cut after one game. Not Carl's finest hour.
* the Chiefs were the featured team on Hard Knocks. Which led to three funny moments: (1) "Ray needs to see you ... and please bring your playbook". (2) when the show's star, Bobby Sippio, figured out he was cousins with Dwayne Bowe. Good grief. But (3) tops them all, with Carl actually handing Herm a set of keys and saying "the car's yours" in relation to the upcoming season. I stood at that scene in utter shock. What sane grown man does something like that? Just a sign of the catastrophe to come.
* season opener in Houston! Awesome road trip. Horrible football game.
* the home opener against the Vikings, where the highlight had to be KC Wolf taking out the drunk dude who ran onto the field.
* another 0-2 open, that then saw the Chiefs run off 4 of 5 to get to 4-3 at the bye, good for first place in the division. With one of the most anticipated games in years coming up, the Packers at Arrowhead.
* A lot of people, if they look back at the last few years, would probably point to the playoff loss in 2006 as the beginning of the end for the Chiefs. And they'd probably be right. But the Green Bay loss was every bit as crushing. The Chiefs led by 4 with 3:13 to play, and Green Bay had 3rd and 6. A stand there, force the punt, and who knows how the second half of the season unfolds. At 5-3, with denver coming to town, the confidence and swagger and fanbase willing this team to win just like in 2006 back in effect ... sadly, we'll never know, because Favre unloaded the bomb to Jennings, then Woodson returned the pick six to seal the game. The Chiefs wouldn't win again for 10 months.
* the denver game was horrendous. A 6-2 score at the half. denver scores 20 unanswered in 4 minutes to open the second half. Let's just say, I was not a happy camper after the game.
* the "Restore the Tradition" tailgate against oakland, it was fun for one day to relive the past. But one day was enough. Too much has changed since Randy died. Too much has changed. And not all of it for the better.
* the season finale, pitting two wildcard teams from the previous season, that each limped in with double digit losses. Wretched football at its finest, with the Jets winning in overtime. The Chiefs finished 4-12, their worst record since 1988.
2008 (The Caving Roof Takes Out the Floor As Well):
* the 9 game losing streak to end the season convinced Carl that it was time to rebuild. Lots of veterans shown the door.
* Jared Allen traded to Minnesota for what's turned into Branden Albert, Brad Cottam, and Jamaal Charles. Albert's struggling. Cottam is useless. Charles maybe can develop into a decent Warrick Dunn type back, if he gets over his fumbling problem. Still, no matter how you look at it two years out, Minnesota fleeced us.
* the first season I didn't go to a game when I already had the tickets since ... uuh ... ever. I skipped the Rams preseason finale ... to watch Obama's acceptance speech at the DNC. I also skipped the Dolphins regular season finale because it was -5 degrees out, and we sucked.
* three straight losses to open the season. Running the streak to 12.
* the defining moment of the season. The sole highlight of the season. The win over denver. I have very few rules in life, but anytime you can spend a late September day out in 90 degree heat, and watch your favorite team beat up your most hated team, I have to do it. Also the game when I kept getting these text messages from a number I didn't have stored that said "is the shirt off yet", "take the shirt off", "dammit take the shirt off". At least someone in the stadium wanted me! Sadly, she is married to Gregg, so that ain't happening.
* the Titans game, when we got Tailgaters of the Game again. And saw Chris Johnson play the bongo after scoring on a ridiculously long touchdown run.
* the whizzed away Jets game. We had them beat. I hate losses like that.
* the blown 21-3 lead to Tampa. Not a good afternoon.
* ditto the game in denver. I really hate losses like to those guys.
* the end of an era, as Carl Peterson stepped down in late December. Probably two years too late in hindsight.
* also the end of an era (or error?), as Herm Edwards was fired as head coach.
* worst record in team history, 2-14. Ouch.
2009 (Uuh, This Is Progress? Really? This Is Progress?)
* your new GM? The hottest name on the market, Scott Pioli from the Patriots.
* your new head coach? The offensive coordinator of the NFC champions, Todd Haley.
* Sign that one of those hirings probably was a premature promotion -- when Haley dropped his infamous "any 22 guys on the street could win two games", and then refused to meet with one of his best players (Brian Waters) regarding the comment. Haley's irratibility continues to affect the Chiefs in a negative way.
* Pioli's first draft pick? Tyson Jackson. The rest of the draft hasn't really contributed much yet, save for Mr. Irrelevant, Ryan Succup. The best kicker the Chiefs have had since I was in college.
* the trade for Cassel and Mike Vrabel. I was very happy with the trade at the time. I still think Cassel's gonna be good, even if the contract extension was a mistake. Vrabel has been what I expected, a veteran on the down side of his career.
* the signing of Mike Brown. In one word: disasterous. And not just because it led to the cut of Bernard Pollard, which was a huge mistake.
* Haley firing OC Chan Gailey with two weeks to go before the start of the season. Idiocy, yet it was probably the right decision given their personality clashes. Still, you won't convince me this team wouldn't have three more wins at this point with Haley not calling plays (and getting distracted from game management). We absolutely would have won oakland, Dallas and Buffalo with a separate offensive coordinator.
* tough opening defeat in Baltimore, a game that was tied with 5 minutes to go. The Chiefs were 13 point dogs, and nearly won.
* tough home opening defeat to oakland. That's three straight losses at home to the hated raiders and counting.
* really tough loss to Dallas, collapsing in the second half, rallying to force overtime, and then neglecting to give Leggett help covering Miles Austin.
* the first win, at Washington. Pretty much sealed Jim Zorn's fate.
* two 30 plus point losses to the Chargers. This rebuild has a ways to go.
* an at the time stunning upset of the Steelers. Arrowhead's finest hour this season, that's for sure.
* a blowout defeat at home to denver thanks to a stupid decision to fake a punt. An unforgivable offense in my book, losing at home to denver.
* and come Sunday, the end of the sellout streak, against the Browns. The last time a Chiefs game wasn't televised, well, its probably good it wasn't that day, as Warren Moon torched us for 500 plus yards and Steve DeBerg broke his pinky, leading to the most ridiculous looking hand bandage ever devised. Also, I was in 8th grade. I turn 33 in three weeks. Its been awhile.
Thoughts, suggestions, other Chiefs inquiries? Feel free to post away in the comments section ...
Monday, December 14, 2009
chiefs! bills! just me and (maybe) 20k of the kingdom ...
(tailgating, about 10am)
(cd) (plays "real men of genius" parody)
(cd) here's to you, Mr. Thinks He Knows More Than the Head Coach! You sit 30 rows up, shirtless, and spout off such winning strategies as "throw the ball" ...
(everyone) (looking at me)
(steve) what! I sit 26 rows up, not 30!
---------------------------
If there are any Chiefs fans left after yesterday, who still believe that Todd Haley deserves a second season as head coach of this team, then all I can say is that you are dumber than the Spanish announcing guys at a WWE pay-per-view, who feign surprise when their announcing booth gets destroyed in the main event.
That entire coaching performance yesterday by Coach Asshat was a fireable offense. Every bit of it. Coach refused to coach against Buffalo's weaknesses, and instead kept playing into their strengths (and our biggest weaknesses). The Bills had the 31st worst rush defense in the league; we threw the ball at a 2-1 ratio in a game in which we never trailed by more than 10, and immediately scored after the margin hit 10 to drop it back to 3.
The clock management was atrocious. Haley whizzed away three timeouts and a challenge yesterday for no obvious reason. Infuriating. And the fourth down decision making, I swear. I literally am getting sick to my stomach watching this man "coach" this team. I literally want to puke. In fact, it got so bad yesterday ...that for the first time since preseason, I drank during the game. Haley's coaching "efforts" were so atrocious yesterday that I paid $10 for a vodka and sprite, and another $10 for a hurricane, I physically could not watch that game without the aid of alcohol.
Let's recap this, from the good (tailgating) to the bad (the National Anthem) to the ugly (the game itself) ...
* Arrived at about 7am, a solid half hour later than usual. And we were still second in line.
* I'd call it a late-arriving crowd yesterday, but if they never arrive, are they technically late? The line to get in the gates at 8:15am when we headed down to save spots was about half the size you're used to seeing. A sign of things to come.
* the walk to save spots brought on a wonderful three point discussion about how (1) summer tailgating is better because its hot, (2) how sweet our tailgating spot we started using last summer was, and (3) we need more hot chicks in our tailgating group. Number (3) came up because of these two really good looking blonde chicks who we thought were going to try to steal our spot.
* Everyone was having issues parking yesterday if you were on the grass. The grounds crew did a fine job of clearing the parking lots ... only they piled up the snow right next to the curb, making it nearly impossible to turn around and get back on the grass.
* One thing the grounds crew did a horrendous job of -- nobody cleaned out the port-a-potties after last game. I can do without the stench of week old human waste at 8:30 in the morning.
* The menu yesterday was buffalo burgers, boneless spicy garlic wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, some chili, some potato soup thingy with hashbrowns, and of course, booze. Good stuff.
* You know its an eventful tailgate when only two people are drinking the handle of vodka ... and its gone in under three hours. Granted, I was one of the ones consuming said vodka, so you can attribute a chunk of it to me ... but I was getting matched screwdriver for screwdriver by some worthy competition.
* Thankfully, the weather wasn't bad yesterday. It got colder as the game went along, but it was never unbearable. Unlike right now here in KC, for example, when the windchill is in the single digits, and I'm making my lunch decision based on "its too cold to walk out to the car and go somewhere".
* We nearly got the HyVee Tailgaters of the Game. Sadly, they went with our neighbors across the parking lot because they decorated their Christmas tree better than we did ours. (The little miniature trees in the grass at the back of G and H, turned into a decorating war. Our neighbors fired the first shot at the Steelers game. We fired back at denver. This week, they hung up Christmas lights and had a tree skirt. I thought it was neat). Still, this was the first time all season the HyVee folks made it to the west side of the stadium.
* Sign that this season has been awful: I could not give away two extra tickets. Literally could not give them away. All you had to do was respond to my text offer from Saturday night to watch the game for the low, low price of "please don't cheer haley that's all i ask". And nobody wanted them. The sad thing is, I can't say I blame people one bit for staying away from this abortion of a season. And from avoiding watching our mentally challenged head coach prove on a weekly basis just how horribly Scott Pioli botched the coaching hire last February.
And other than the core group of bus riders, nobody showed up early. Even our new tailgating neighbors, we had no problems saving a spot for their bus, and they didn't get there until almost 9:30. Gregg and Brent showed up after 10. Dusty and Kellie were after 10:30. If I wasn't too cheap to pay for parking, I'd have shown up even later than that.
* Headed in around 11:30. The only 132 regulars there yesterday were me, Russ and Mona, Chris and Greg, and Curly Haired Guy. Everyone else either sold off their tickets or decided "screw it, I'm sleeping in". Again, can't fault anyone who made that decision. This team doesn't deserve the level of support it still generates from some of us.
* This is normally where I'd note how awful KC Wolf's sketch was (and it was pretty bad), but that wasn't even close to the worst part of the pregame ceremonies. The chick who did the National Anthem ... I'm pretty sure that was the worst rendition of the Anthem ever at Arrowhead. It was atrocious. It was off key, the words were slurred, the pace was rushed, it was in a word, TURRIBLE. Just TURRIBLE. Let's never invite this chick back to sing ever again, ok Chiefs organization?
I mean, I went with the Blue Ridge Lutheran Church group on Saturday in going around to various care facilities and houses where some of their parishioners were now residing. Good way to spread some holiday cheer to folks who need it. Fun times had by all, believe it or not. (Plus the post-caroling dinner, holy cow, that might be the best four bowls of chili I've ever eaten. When I go back for fourths, you know you've got a winner on your hands).
Anyways, I guarantee you, that group of 25 of us from Saturday, we were more on-key and composed than this chick yesterday was. (Also as a side note, I had my doubts about how much fun this thing could be. After all, I love music, but I can't sing. That, and its a church group, you have to figure there wouldn't be much drinkin' going on. Thankfully, I was wrong. Well, I was right, in that I can't sing. But I knew it would be fun when the first guy introduces himself to us and goes "now, it won't be a problem if I bring a flask? My wife's making me do this ...")
* And now for the weekly exercise where I begin to analyze the game, and instead wind up spending three hours typing up everything that Todd Haley did wrong, get really frustrated, and screw up my point (that Todd Haley is a TURRIBLE head coach) by ranting and raving and generally making no sense. Hooray.
Let's open things up by quoting Bob Gretz' recap of the decision to go for it in the first quarter:
"It (the opportunity to win) disappeared when head coach Todd Haley made another one of those decisions that will be second guessed for many, many days, weeks, even months. Fourth and goal at the Bills one yard line, there's no score and there are four minutes to play in the quarter."
In section 132, this hot as hell blogger was screaming "Kick! Take the points! Kick the f*cking football!" 99 coaches out of 100 in that spot take the gimme three, get on the board, and move forward. But there's always one guy willing to avoid doing the obvious and instead f*ck his team over. We all know who those "one in a hundred" coaches are. Prior to last February, we didn't employ one. We do now.
It wasn't just the decision to go for it there that was infuriating. Again, using the "99 out of 100" approach, you kick the field goal. These are two atrocious offenses going at it, both led by bad quarterbacks protected by leaky offensive lines. Take the damned points! That was bad enough (and would bite us in the ass in the fourth quarter, when instead of kicking to tie, we had to go for the win). Dammit I hate Todd Haley. I hate him so much that there's like smoke coming out of my ears and this bright burning fire in front of me signifying the rage I feel towards this scumbag.
(And I mean "scumbag" in its original definition. Todd Haley = used condom. Damned right he does. Wait, though, that's an insult to the condom, because a used condom indicates its owner "did the right thing" and used protection. Or at least had some fun. That's not something you say about going to watch the Todd Haley-led Chiefs, that it was "fun". That, and Todd Haley wouldn't do the right thing if Spike Lee himself coreographed his coaching decisions).
No, the decision to go was bad enough. The play call was ... really, it was Todd Haley at his scumbag finest. You've just gained 8 yards running it straight ahead with Charles to get you to the goalline. And now, what does Coach Haley call? A designed QB rollout with one of the least mobile QBs in the league. To the surprise of noone, the play was a disaster. Bills DE Aaron Schobel (from? You guessed it, TCU!) wasn't fooled for even 1/1000th of a second, and sacked Cassel for a 7 yard loss.
Gretz put it best (again), noting that "in a season where the head coach is trying to convince his team to play the Haley Way, taking the easy points just isn't going to happen. (...) That was a ten point swing, and that was the ballgame. Oh, there was plenty that happened afterwards, with Cassel throwing four interceptions, Buffalo running for 200 yards as a team ... however, it was Haley's decision to go for the end zone instead of taking the three points that set the tone for the afternoon".
I love that insight. First, for the backhanded putdown of the "Haley Way". And secondly, because Gretz is right -- that decision did set the tone for the afternoon. For the second straight week, our head coach took a stupid risk way too soon in the game, and when said risk blew up in his face, we lost the game because of it. I, for one, am damned sick and tired of seeing this occur. Every damned week. To the team that I love.
* At this point, the boos were reigning down. It was a horrible decision, compounded by an even stupider playcall. (A QB rollout there I could have lived with ... if you gave him a passing option as well! Because there were no receivers on the play, once Schobel guessed right on the playcall, you were drawing dead. At least send a TE across the end zone to give Cassel a target! Wait, that's just too damned sensible and grounded in common sense for this coaching staff to ever consider it. Again, I effing hate Todd Haley).
* The Bills take over after Cassel's sack, and promptly score a touchdown to take the lead 7-0. It was a lead they would never relinquish. In section 132, more boos reigning down. (I'm going somewhere with this, just bear with me ...)
* Chiefs take over after the kickoff, and have a nice drive going, and face 4th and 1 at the Bills 3. (steve sighing in disgust) Look it, I know every week I throw out the "if this is possible" comment in relation to a Todd Haley decision ... but "if this is possible", Todd Haley actually tops himself on the Mental Retardation-o-Meter he pretty much broke fifteen minutes earlier.
First, he challenges the spot, costing us not just a timeout ... but a challenge. This was amongst the dumbest challenges I have ever seen. There was zero chance this was getting overturned. Zero. If you want to take the timeout there to decide what to do, fine. (Actually, its not fine -- there was no decision to make. Kick the f*cking football and get on the scoreboard, like you should have done 15 minutes earlier). But why challenge? Why whiz away a challenge that you might need later on? Especially when you have ZERO chance of winning said challenge! Why! Why, why, why, why, why! (steve bashing head on desk in utter frustration).
Anyways ...
After losing the challenge and burning the timeout, Haley then opts to try the field goal, which is good. 7-3 Bills. But that just begs the question, "what changed from the previous drive to this one?" If you're willing to go for it 15 minutes ago when you need a yard at the goalline, why aren't you willing to do it now in basically the same spot? Yet another thing that drives me insane about this coach: there's no rhyme or reason to his decision making. If you're going to gamble and go for it on 4th down, fine. But be consistent about it.
(I know, the Devil's Advocate would point out "well Haley learned from his mistake 15 minutes ago and decided to take the points". No way. I refuse to even consider the notion that Todd Haley is smart enough to figure this out during a game. Because he's not. That, and Haley went for it again on 4th and 1 on our next drive. No consistency. No discernable pattern of common sense. Your 2009 Chiefs coaching staff everyone!)
* After a Bills field goal makes it 10-3, Chiefs take over at their own 20 with 1:03 to go. This is where the two pointlessly burned timeouts from the 4th and 1 decisions bite you in the ass. And not one of those semi-sexy bites designed to be a turn-on, but a full on "take a chunk out of you" bite. With only one timeout, the Chiefs have to aim for the sidelines. They manage to get a couple completions for once, and are at the Bills 48 with about 30 seconds left in the half, with the clock ticking. Cassel drops back to pass, and is sacked. Chiefs call timeout, and for all intents and purposes, we're at halftime.
If you don't whiz away the timeout on the challenge, you can still try to get into field goal range. If you don't whiz away the timeout deciding fourth and one at the goalline in the first quarter, you can still throw anywhere on the field. Because Todd Haley effed up in both cases, the Chiefs lost the ability to possibly put points on the board. We only needed 10 yards to try a field goal with Succup prior to that sack. Even after the sack, if you have one or both of the whizzed timeouts available, you only need 15 yards to try a field goal, 20 to be reasonably certain its going in.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but dammit, I can't take much more of this. The ineptness of this coaching staff needs to be hammered home on a continuous basis. Todd Haley deserves to be mercilessly ripped and constantly questioned for his decision making. He needs to be. The sooner the fans of this team wake up and realize just how screwed we are with him on the sideline, the faster a course correction can occur.
And spare me the "he's learning on the job" crap. No. When you're in a specialized field with only 31 other job occupants in the nation, earning millions of dollars a year, you don't get the luxury of "learning on the job". Either you get it, or you don't. Bad coaches don't grow into good ones. The good ones pretty much establish themselves right away, and stay good. While the bad ones suck ass from day one, have lackeys and brain dead fans make excuses for them, and set their team back 3-5 years due to incompetence, poor execution, and p*ssing off the fanbase with the constant incompetence, poor execution, and losing.
* As the Chiefs leave the field at the half, you guessed it. More boos reigning down from section 132. I'm anything but a happy camper at this point. (This is also when I sent Katie to get me some watered down vodka at $10 a pop). And the guy behind me, a drunk "Chiefs fan", apparently has had enough.
With me.
(drunk guy) (grabs me) why are you booing?
(steve) (incredulous) are you watching this game? They deserve to be booed!
(drunk guy) (getting angry) real fans don't boo.
(steve) the hell we don't.
(drunk guy) real fans always cheer for their team.
(steve) (annoyed) no, real fans call bullsh*t when they see it.
(drunk guy) (now really angry) who do you think you are?
(steve) (rapidly becoming angry) what?
(drunk guy) you're not a real fan! You're just some bandwagon p*ssy who got a free ticket today!
(steve) (absolutely speechless)
(drunk guy) I've been sitting here for every game for 20 years --
(steve) (really p*ssed off) the hell you have!
(drunk guy) you challenging me? how would you know, you bandwagon --
(steve) because I've been sitting in this very f*cking seat every game for a decade! And I'm damned sure I have never seen you before!
(drunk guy) (realizes he's been caught) well ... uuh ... maybe not in this seat, but --
(steve) dumb f*ck. and another thing pal. (leans in) if you ever call me a bandwagon fan again, I will beat the sh*t out of you.
(drunk guy) (in shock)
Its at this point, that the two girls with this guy, plus his buddy, step in and "escort" him up the aisle to cool off. The two chicks came back and start apologizing for him, noting that "he's been drinking" and "he really doesn't like the Chiefs losing". To which I reply, OK? And I do like the Chiefs losing? And I haven't been drinking vodka since 6am? I am p*ssed, to put it mildly. I should probably note, the guy I was getting into it with was over 6 feet tall, about 270 pounds, and it wasn't a fat 270, it was a well built 270. I'm 5'10", 165, and will never be accused of having an "athletic build". Its probably good this situation got diffused ...
And I should also probably note, after he came back, all was good. He kept repeatedly apologizing for his outburst. I kept accepting his apology. But here's to hoping this "die hard Chiefs fan" restarts his 20 year streak of no-showhood next week and beyond.
* Cassel's first pass of the second half? Intercepted. Thankfully, the Bills QB was every bit as awful as Cassel yesterday, and Brandon Flowers picked him off in the end zone to save more points and keep the Chiefs within a score.
* Seriously, Matt Cassel is Shining Example Numero Uno of why you don't tear up an existing "contract" with a player, and sign him to a long term deal, until you're damned sure what you have in him. Had Pioli simply had Cassel play under the terms of his Franchise Tag, we could cut the cord after this season and pursue other alternatives. You know, alternatives that actually perform at an acceptable level. Or, if you still believed in Cassel, you could resign him, but at a much lower price tag. Instead? Our brain trust gives Cassel a 6 year, $63 million contract before he's even played a preseason down as a Chief. Let's just say, on the long list of things that didn't go right in 2009, Cassel's long term deal is going to be near the top.
* After the Bills tack on a field goal to make it 13-3, Todd Haley finally realizes "hey! My QB can't throw worth a damn, we're facing the 31st ranked run defense ... I know! Let's run the ball!" 75 untouched yards later, Jamaal Charles gave the Chiefs faithful their only highlight of the game. For the first time in section 132, this hot as hell recapper began to believe we could steal this game.
* After exchanging a pair of three and outs ... Cassel drops back to pass. You guessed it. Interception, this one by Paul Posluszny. Yeah, Cassel's now getting picked off by guys who've missed 70% of their career by being on IR. Good God. The Bills quickly tack on a field goal, to make it 16-10.
* The Chiefs actually challenged whether Posluszny was actually down by contact, or if he fumbled the interception at the end of his return. I will not rip that challenge. I personally thought he was down, but it was close. One of those plays where whatever the original ruling was, was probably going to stand. At that point, down three, and committing a potentially game-cripping turnover midway through the fourth quarter, I'm fine with that challenge. I'm just grateful nothing shady happened the next six minutes though -- because of the retarded challenge in the first half, we didn't have any left to use.
* Chiefs take over after the Bills field goal, and slowly begin to drive the field. And here's where not taking the points in the first quarter bites you in the ass. (Note: why is it that every Todd Haley decision winds up coming back to bite us in the ass? Just once, can this guy do something right? Just once? Please? As much as this might shock you, I really don't want to hate our head coach. Anyways, where was I. Oh yeah, retarded decision to not kick the field goal).
If you'd taken the gimme field goal, its 16-13 Buffalo at this point, and you're driving to tie. The Chiefs actually got to the Bills 20 with about 2:30 to go. Instead of the fourth down pass that got picked off, you'd have Succup coming on to tie the game. (Of course, had Chambers held onto the 3rd down pass, you'd be going for the lead. But with that first quarter field goal, you'd be playing to get up 4 and force the Bills to score a touchdown to beat you, instead of getting up 1 and the Bills only needing a field goal).
The way both defenses were playing (and more specifically, the way both offenses were playing), at that point, you're all but guaranteed overtime. Instead, the Bills get the pick, force the Chiefs to burn through their timeouts, and all but end the game. The Chiefs did get the ball back one last time, still down 16-10, at their own 20 with a minute to go. But too much yardage to cover, not enough time to get there, and Cassel's desperation final toss was picked in the end zone. Bills 16, Chiefs 10. (Amazingly enough, my exact predicted final score on Friday. Wow).
* Postgame, its off to the bus. We didn't stick around for long. After the new tailgating neighbors ducked out with their bus after about half an hour, it was off for home, to cope with the fact that once again, incompetent coaching has cost the Chiefs a victory.
* I can't stress this enough. There is zero reason why the Chiefs should not be 6-7 and a game out of the playoffs right now. None. Now, I'm willing to be realistic here. Even if we were 6-7 and on the fringes of wildcard contention, the odds of the Chiefs winning out to get in at 9-7 would be slim and none, and none would open as a 15 point favorite.
But at least we'd be in the discussion. At least we'd be playing meaningful football in December for the first time since 2006. And as 2006 showed us, anything can happen if you take advantage of the opportunities in front of you.
Todd Haley's Chiefs have been in positions to win. Unfortunately, he always seems to do the exact opposite of what would have meant success when those positions presented themselves to him --
* The idiocy of calling the screen pass just before the half against oakland that cost us three points (the eventual margin of victory for the raiders) when the receiver was tackled in bounds (and the Chiefs had no timeouts to stop the clock with, because -- and I know you're not going to believe this -- Haley burned a timeout when facing a 4th and 2 decision midway through the first quarter).
* The failure to move a safety over for support for Leggett, either in the fourth quarter or overtime, of the loss to Dallas. (Or better yet, given our injury situation that day, scrap the corner man coverage altogether in that spot, play cover three, and at least prevent the only thing Dallas did all day that worked, the 60 yard bombs to Miles Austin).
* The idiocy of going for it on 4th and 1 at your own 35 on the opening drive of the game against San Diego that opened the floodgates to a rout.
* The stupidity of faking a punt at your own 25 when you're only down a score with 28 minutes to go, that led to a 20 unanswered donkeys points that turned a tight competitive game into an ass kicking.
* And now yesterday, not taking the gimme points in the first quarter, instead opting to call a ridiculous quarterback bootleg with no pass outlet if things break down. Instead of having a shot to win in overtime, the Chiefs lost for the 17th time in the last 19 games that count at Arrowhead because of more bone-headed decision making from both the head coach and his general on the field. (I do not think that it's a coincidence, that the two most brain challenged members on this squad are the head coach and the QB, and we've lost 10 of 13 games. Not a coincidence at all).
Bad teams tend to be bad because ... well, because the talent base just isn't there. Either the team has embraced a rebuild, or they're in denial about the need for a rebuild, but either way, the talent isn't there.
(Or they completely screw up the rebuild through year after year of incompetent drafting decisions, bad free agent signings, and horrible coaching hires. Like the 2009 Chiefs).
Nobody is suggesting the 2009 Chiefs should be challenging for the Lombardi Trophy. The talent level simply isn't there to contend week in, week out with the best of the best.
But I am saying that they should be at least three games better in the standings than they are. The reason why we are an also-ran yet again, as opposed to being in the mix of 7 teams within a game of the final wildcard spot, is because the Chiefs screw up the routine more than any other team I've ever seen.
99 coaches out of 100 instinctively know the right thing to do in a situation. So long as you've got one of those 99 calling the shots for you, you've got a chance. Even the worst of the 99 at least handles the routine correctly. Its when you get the 1 out of 100 that you're FUBAR'd.
Todd Haley is definitely in the category of 1. Until and unless Chiefs management recognizes this and pulls the plug, there's no reason for hope or optimism about this team. They will continue to lose in jaw-dropping fashion. They will continue to find ways to get embarrassed by the contenders, and humiliate themselves against the pretenders. They will continue to praise their practices, and continue to embarrass themselves on the turf on gameday. "You are what you are". The 2009 Chiefs are the worst coached team Chiefs team in at least 21 years. They are a freaking embarrassment to themselves, to the city, to the history of this franchise.
Worst of all, they're the single worst thing a professional team can be -- absolutely unbearable to watch.
(Bring on the Browns in a matchup of the two worst head coaches in the league! Holy crap, common sense might be set back 55 years on Sunday when these two intellectual "giants" lock wits on the field ...)
(cd) (plays "real men of genius" parody)
(cd) here's to you, Mr. Thinks He Knows More Than the Head Coach! You sit 30 rows up, shirtless, and spout off such winning strategies as "throw the ball" ...
(everyone) (looking at me)
(steve) what! I sit 26 rows up, not 30!
---------------------------
If there are any Chiefs fans left after yesterday, who still believe that Todd Haley deserves a second season as head coach of this team, then all I can say is that you are dumber than the Spanish announcing guys at a WWE pay-per-view, who feign surprise when their announcing booth gets destroyed in the main event.
That entire coaching performance yesterday by Coach Asshat was a fireable offense. Every bit of it. Coach refused to coach against Buffalo's weaknesses, and instead kept playing into their strengths (and our biggest weaknesses). The Bills had the 31st worst rush defense in the league; we threw the ball at a 2-1 ratio in a game in which we never trailed by more than 10, and immediately scored after the margin hit 10 to drop it back to 3.
The clock management was atrocious. Haley whizzed away three timeouts and a challenge yesterday for no obvious reason. Infuriating. And the fourth down decision making, I swear. I literally am getting sick to my stomach watching this man "coach" this team. I literally want to puke. In fact, it got so bad yesterday ...that for the first time since preseason, I drank during the game. Haley's coaching "efforts" were so atrocious yesterday that I paid $10 for a vodka and sprite, and another $10 for a hurricane, I physically could not watch that game without the aid of alcohol.
Let's recap this, from the good (tailgating) to the bad (the National Anthem) to the ugly (the game itself) ...
* Arrived at about 7am, a solid half hour later than usual. And we were still second in line.
* I'd call it a late-arriving crowd yesterday, but if they never arrive, are they technically late? The line to get in the gates at 8:15am when we headed down to save spots was about half the size you're used to seeing. A sign of things to come.
* the walk to save spots brought on a wonderful three point discussion about how (1) summer tailgating is better because its hot, (2) how sweet our tailgating spot we started using last summer was, and (3) we need more hot chicks in our tailgating group. Number (3) came up because of these two really good looking blonde chicks who we thought were going to try to steal our spot.
* Everyone was having issues parking yesterday if you were on the grass. The grounds crew did a fine job of clearing the parking lots ... only they piled up the snow right next to the curb, making it nearly impossible to turn around and get back on the grass.
* One thing the grounds crew did a horrendous job of -- nobody cleaned out the port-a-potties after last game. I can do without the stench of week old human waste at 8:30 in the morning.
* The menu yesterday was buffalo burgers, boneless spicy garlic wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, some chili, some potato soup thingy with hashbrowns, and of course, booze. Good stuff.
* You know its an eventful tailgate when only two people are drinking the handle of vodka ... and its gone in under three hours. Granted, I was one of the ones consuming said vodka, so you can attribute a chunk of it to me ... but I was getting matched screwdriver for screwdriver by some worthy competition.
* Thankfully, the weather wasn't bad yesterday. It got colder as the game went along, but it was never unbearable. Unlike right now here in KC, for example, when the windchill is in the single digits, and I'm making my lunch decision based on "its too cold to walk out to the car and go somewhere".
* We nearly got the HyVee Tailgaters of the Game. Sadly, they went with our neighbors across the parking lot because they decorated their Christmas tree better than we did ours. (The little miniature trees in the grass at the back of G and H, turned into a decorating war. Our neighbors fired the first shot at the Steelers game. We fired back at denver. This week, they hung up Christmas lights and had a tree skirt. I thought it was neat). Still, this was the first time all season the HyVee folks made it to the west side of the stadium.
* Sign that this season has been awful: I could not give away two extra tickets. Literally could not give them away. All you had to do was respond to my text offer from Saturday night to watch the game for the low, low price of "please don't cheer haley that's all i ask". And nobody wanted them. The sad thing is, I can't say I blame people one bit for staying away from this abortion of a season. And from avoiding watching our mentally challenged head coach prove on a weekly basis just how horribly Scott Pioli botched the coaching hire last February.
And other than the core group of bus riders, nobody showed up early. Even our new tailgating neighbors, we had no problems saving a spot for their bus, and they didn't get there until almost 9:30. Gregg and Brent showed up after 10. Dusty and Kellie were after 10:30. If I wasn't too cheap to pay for parking, I'd have shown up even later than that.
* Headed in around 11:30. The only 132 regulars there yesterday were me, Russ and Mona, Chris and Greg, and Curly Haired Guy. Everyone else either sold off their tickets or decided "screw it, I'm sleeping in". Again, can't fault anyone who made that decision. This team doesn't deserve the level of support it still generates from some of us.
* This is normally where I'd note how awful KC Wolf's sketch was (and it was pretty bad), but that wasn't even close to the worst part of the pregame ceremonies. The chick who did the National Anthem ... I'm pretty sure that was the worst rendition of the Anthem ever at Arrowhead. It was atrocious. It was off key, the words were slurred, the pace was rushed, it was in a word, TURRIBLE. Just TURRIBLE. Let's never invite this chick back to sing ever again, ok Chiefs organization?
I mean, I went with the Blue Ridge Lutheran Church group on Saturday in going around to various care facilities and houses where some of their parishioners were now residing. Good way to spread some holiday cheer to folks who need it. Fun times had by all, believe it or not. (Plus the post-caroling dinner, holy cow, that might be the best four bowls of chili I've ever eaten. When I go back for fourths, you know you've got a winner on your hands).
Anyways, I guarantee you, that group of 25 of us from Saturday, we were more on-key and composed than this chick yesterday was. (Also as a side note, I had my doubts about how much fun this thing could be. After all, I love music, but I can't sing. That, and its a church group, you have to figure there wouldn't be much drinkin' going on. Thankfully, I was wrong. Well, I was right, in that I can't sing. But I knew it would be fun when the first guy introduces himself to us and goes "now, it won't be a problem if I bring a flask? My wife's making me do this ...")
* And now for the weekly exercise where I begin to analyze the game, and instead wind up spending three hours typing up everything that Todd Haley did wrong, get really frustrated, and screw up my point (that Todd Haley is a TURRIBLE head coach) by ranting and raving and generally making no sense. Hooray.
Let's open things up by quoting Bob Gretz' recap of the decision to go for it in the first quarter:
"It (the opportunity to win) disappeared when head coach Todd Haley made another one of those decisions that will be second guessed for many, many days, weeks, even months. Fourth and goal at the Bills one yard line, there's no score and there are four minutes to play in the quarter."
In section 132, this hot as hell blogger was screaming "Kick! Take the points! Kick the f*cking football!" 99 coaches out of 100 in that spot take the gimme three, get on the board, and move forward. But there's always one guy willing to avoid doing the obvious and instead f*ck his team over. We all know who those "one in a hundred" coaches are. Prior to last February, we didn't employ one. We do now.
It wasn't just the decision to go for it there that was infuriating. Again, using the "99 out of 100" approach, you kick the field goal. These are two atrocious offenses going at it, both led by bad quarterbacks protected by leaky offensive lines. Take the damned points! That was bad enough (and would bite us in the ass in the fourth quarter, when instead of kicking to tie, we had to go for the win). Dammit I hate Todd Haley. I hate him so much that there's like smoke coming out of my ears and this bright burning fire in front of me signifying the rage I feel towards this scumbag.
(And I mean "scumbag" in its original definition. Todd Haley = used condom. Damned right he does. Wait, though, that's an insult to the condom, because a used condom indicates its owner "did the right thing" and used protection. Or at least had some fun. That's not something you say about going to watch the Todd Haley-led Chiefs, that it was "fun". That, and Todd Haley wouldn't do the right thing if Spike Lee himself coreographed his coaching decisions).
No, the decision to go was bad enough. The play call was ... really, it was Todd Haley at his scumbag finest. You've just gained 8 yards running it straight ahead with Charles to get you to the goalline. And now, what does Coach Haley call? A designed QB rollout with one of the least mobile QBs in the league. To the surprise of noone, the play was a disaster. Bills DE Aaron Schobel (from? You guessed it, TCU!) wasn't fooled for even 1/1000th of a second, and sacked Cassel for a 7 yard loss.
Gretz put it best (again), noting that "in a season where the head coach is trying to convince his team to play the Haley Way, taking the easy points just isn't going to happen. (...) That was a ten point swing, and that was the ballgame. Oh, there was plenty that happened afterwards, with Cassel throwing four interceptions, Buffalo running for 200 yards as a team ... however, it was Haley's decision to go for the end zone instead of taking the three points that set the tone for the afternoon".
I love that insight. First, for the backhanded putdown of the "Haley Way". And secondly, because Gretz is right -- that decision did set the tone for the afternoon. For the second straight week, our head coach took a stupid risk way too soon in the game, and when said risk blew up in his face, we lost the game because of it. I, for one, am damned sick and tired of seeing this occur. Every damned week. To the team that I love.
* At this point, the boos were reigning down. It was a horrible decision, compounded by an even stupider playcall. (A QB rollout there I could have lived with ... if you gave him a passing option as well! Because there were no receivers on the play, once Schobel guessed right on the playcall, you were drawing dead. At least send a TE across the end zone to give Cassel a target! Wait, that's just too damned sensible and grounded in common sense for this coaching staff to ever consider it. Again, I effing hate Todd Haley).
* The Bills take over after Cassel's sack, and promptly score a touchdown to take the lead 7-0. It was a lead they would never relinquish. In section 132, more boos reigning down. (I'm going somewhere with this, just bear with me ...)
* Chiefs take over after the kickoff, and have a nice drive going, and face 4th and 1 at the Bills 3. (steve sighing in disgust) Look it, I know every week I throw out the "if this is possible" comment in relation to a Todd Haley decision ... but "if this is possible", Todd Haley actually tops himself on the Mental Retardation-o-Meter he pretty much broke fifteen minutes earlier.
First, he challenges the spot, costing us not just a timeout ... but a challenge. This was amongst the dumbest challenges I have ever seen. There was zero chance this was getting overturned. Zero. If you want to take the timeout there to decide what to do, fine. (Actually, its not fine -- there was no decision to make. Kick the f*cking football and get on the scoreboard, like you should have done 15 minutes earlier). But why challenge? Why whiz away a challenge that you might need later on? Especially when you have ZERO chance of winning said challenge! Why! Why, why, why, why, why! (steve bashing head on desk in utter frustration).
Anyways ...
After losing the challenge and burning the timeout, Haley then opts to try the field goal, which is good. 7-3 Bills. But that just begs the question, "what changed from the previous drive to this one?" If you're willing to go for it 15 minutes ago when you need a yard at the goalline, why aren't you willing to do it now in basically the same spot? Yet another thing that drives me insane about this coach: there's no rhyme or reason to his decision making. If you're going to gamble and go for it on 4th down, fine. But be consistent about it.
(I know, the Devil's Advocate would point out "well Haley learned from his mistake 15 minutes ago and decided to take the points". No way. I refuse to even consider the notion that Todd Haley is smart enough to figure this out during a game. Because he's not. That, and Haley went for it again on 4th and 1 on our next drive. No consistency. No discernable pattern of common sense. Your 2009 Chiefs coaching staff everyone!)
* After a Bills field goal makes it 10-3, Chiefs take over at their own 20 with 1:03 to go. This is where the two pointlessly burned timeouts from the 4th and 1 decisions bite you in the ass. And not one of those semi-sexy bites designed to be a turn-on, but a full on "take a chunk out of you" bite. With only one timeout, the Chiefs have to aim for the sidelines. They manage to get a couple completions for once, and are at the Bills 48 with about 30 seconds left in the half, with the clock ticking. Cassel drops back to pass, and is sacked. Chiefs call timeout, and for all intents and purposes, we're at halftime.
If you don't whiz away the timeout on the challenge, you can still try to get into field goal range. If you don't whiz away the timeout deciding fourth and one at the goalline in the first quarter, you can still throw anywhere on the field. Because Todd Haley effed up in both cases, the Chiefs lost the ability to possibly put points on the board. We only needed 10 yards to try a field goal with Succup prior to that sack. Even after the sack, if you have one or both of the whizzed timeouts available, you only need 15 yards to try a field goal, 20 to be reasonably certain its going in.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but dammit, I can't take much more of this. The ineptness of this coaching staff needs to be hammered home on a continuous basis. Todd Haley deserves to be mercilessly ripped and constantly questioned for his decision making. He needs to be. The sooner the fans of this team wake up and realize just how screwed we are with him on the sideline, the faster a course correction can occur.
And spare me the "he's learning on the job" crap. No. When you're in a specialized field with only 31 other job occupants in the nation, earning millions of dollars a year, you don't get the luxury of "learning on the job". Either you get it, or you don't. Bad coaches don't grow into good ones. The good ones pretty much establish themselves right away, and stay good. While the bad ones suck ass from day one, have lackeys and brain dead fans make excuses for them, and set their team back 3-5 years due to incompetence, poor execution, and p*ssing off the fanbase with the constant incompetence, poor execution, and losing.
* As the Chiefs leave the field at the half, you guessed it. More boos reigning down from section 132. I'm anything but a happy camper at this point. (This is also when I sent Katie to get me some watered down vodka at $10 a pop). And the guy behind me, a drunk "Chiefs fan", apparently has had enough.
With me.
(drunk guy) (grabs me) why are you booing?
(steve) (incredulous) are you watching this game? They deserve to be booed!
(drunk guy) (getting angry) real fans don't boo.
(steve) the hell we don't.
(drunk guy) real fans always cheer for their team.
(steve) (annoyed) no, real fans call bullsh*t when they see it.
(drunk guy) (now really angry) who do you think you are?
(steve) (rapidly becoming angry) what?
(drunk guy) you're not a real fan! You're just some bandwagon p*ssy who got a free ticket today!
(steve) (absolutely speechless)
(drunk guy) I've been sitting here for every game for 20 years --
(steve) (really p*ssed off) the hell you have!
(drunk guy) you challenging me? how would you know, you bandwagon --
(steve) because I've been sitting in this very f*cking seat every game for a decade! And I'm damned sure I have never seen you before!
(drunk guy) (realizes he's been caught) well ... uuh ... maybe not in this seat, but --
(steve) dumb f*ck. and another thing pal. (leans in) if you ever call me a bandwagon fan again, I will beat the sh*t out of you.
(drunk guy) (in shock)
Its at this point, that the two girls with this guy, plus his buddy, step in and "escort" him up the aisle to cool off. The two chicks came back and start apologizing for him, noting that "he's been drinking" and "he really doesn't like the Chiefs losing". To which I reply, OK? And I do like the Chiefs losing? And I haven't been drinking vodka since 6am? I am p*ssed, to put it mildly. I should probably note, the guy I was getting into it with was over 6 feet tall, about 270 pounds, and it wasn't a fat 270, it was a well built 270. I'm 5'10", 165, and will never be accused of having an "athletic build". Its probably good this situation got diffused ...
And I should also probably note, after he came back, all was good. He kept repeatedly apologizing for his outburst. I kept accepting his apology. But here's to hoping this "die hard Chiefs fan" restarts his 20 year streak of no-showhood next week and beyond.
* Cassel's first pass of the second half? Intercepted. Thankfully, the Bills QB was every bit as awful as Cassel yesterday, and Brandon Flowers picked him off in the end zone to save more points and keep the Chiefs within a score.
* Seriously, Matt Cassel is Shining Example Numero Uno of why you don't tear up an existing "contract" with a player, and sign him to a long term deal, until you're damned sure what you have in him. Had Pioli simply had Cassel play under the terms of his Franchise Tag, we could cut the cord after this season and pursue other alternatives. You know, alternatives that actually perform at an acceptable level. Or, if you still believed in Cassel, you could resign him, but at a much lower price tag. Instead? Our brain trust gives Cassel a 6 year, $63 million contract before he's even played a preseason down as a Chief. Let's just say, on the long list of things that didn't go right in 2009, Cassel's long term deal is going to be near the top.
* After the Bills tack on a field goal to make it 13-3, Todd Haley finally realizes "hey! My QB can't throw worth a damn, we're facing the 31st ranked run defense ... I know! Let's run the ball!" 75 untouched yards later, Jamaal Charles gave the Chiefs faithful their only highlight of the game. For the first time in section 132, this hot as hell recapper began to believe we could steal this game.
* After exchanging a pair of three and outs ... Cassel drops back to pass. You guessed it. Interception, this one by Paul Posluszny. Yeah, Cassel's now getting picked off by guys who've missed 70% of their career by being on IR. Good God. The Bills quickly tack on a field goal, to make it 16-10.
* The Chiefs actually challenged whether Posluszny was actually down by contact, or if he fumbled the interception at the end of his return. I will not rip that challenge. I personally thought he was down, but it was close. One of those plays where whatever the original ruling was, was probably going to stand. At that point, down three, and committing a potentially game-cripping turnover midway through the fourth quarter, I'm fine with that challenge. I'm just grateful nothing shady happened the next six minutes though -- because of the retarded challenge in the first half, we didn't have any left to use.
* Chiefs take over after the Bills field goal, and slowly begin to drive the field. And here's where not taking the points in the first quarter bites you in the ass. (Note: why is it that every Todd Haley decision winds up coming back to bite us in the ass? Just once, can this guy do something right? Just once? Please? As much as this might shock you, I really don't want to hate our head coach. Anyways, where was I. Oh yeah, retarded decision to not kick the field goal).
If you'd taken the gimme field goal, its 16-13 Buffalo at this point, and you're driving to tie. The Chiefs actually got to the Bills 20 with about 2:30 to go. Instead of the fourth down pass that got picked off, you'd have Succup coming on to tie the game. (Of course, had Chambers held onto the 3rd down pass, you'd be going for the lead. But with that first quarter field goal, you'd be playing to get up 4 and force the Bills to score a touchdown to beat you, instead of getting up 1 and the Bills only needing a field goal).
The way both defenses were playing (and more specifically, the way both offenses were playing), at that point, you're all but guaranteed overtime. Instead, the Bills get the pick, force the Chiefs to burn through their timeouts, and all but end the game. The Chiefs did get the ball back one last time, still down 16-10, at their own 20 with a minute to go. But too much yardage to cover, not enough time to get there, and Cassel's desperation final toss was picked in the end zone. Bills 16, Chiefs 10. (Amazingly enough, my exact predicted final score on Friday. Wow).
* Postgame, its off to the bus. We didn't stick around for long. After the new tailgating neighbors ducked out with their bus after about half an hour, it was off for home, to cope with the fact that once again, incompetent coaching has cost the Chiefs a victory.
* I can't stress this enough. There is zero reason why the Chiefs should not be 6-7 and a game out of the playoffs right now. None. Now, I'm willing to be realistic here. Even if we were 6-7 and on the fringes of wildcard contention, the odds of the Chiefs winning out to get in at 9-7 would be slim and none, and none would open as a 15 point favorite.
But at least we'd be in the discussion. At least we'd be playing meaningful football in December for the first time since 2006. And as 2006 showed us, anything can happen if you take advantage of the opportunities in front of you.
Todd Haley's Chiefs have been in positions to win. Unfortunately, he always seems to do the exact opposite of what would have meant success when those positions presented themselves to him --
* The idiocy of calling the screen pass just before the half against oakland that cost us three points (the eventual margin of victory for the raiders) when the receiver was tackled in bounds (and the Chiefs had no timeouts to stop the clock with, because -- and I know you're not going to believe this -- Haley burned a timeout when facing a 4th and 2 decision midway through the first quarter).
* The failure to move a safety over for support for Leggett, either in the fourth quarter or overtime, of the loss to Dallas. (Or better yet, given our injury situation that day, scrap the corner man coverage altogether in that spot, play cover three, and at least prevent the only thing Dallas did all day that worked, the 60 yard bombs to Miles Austin).
* The idiocy of going for it on 4th and 1 at your own 35 on the opening drive of the game against San Diego that opened the floodgates to a rout.
* The stupidity of faking a punt at your own 25 when you're only down a score with 28 minutes to go, that led to a 20 unanswered donkeys points that turned a tight competitive game into an ass kicking.
* And now yesterday, not taking the gimme points in the first quarter, instead opting to call a ridiculous quarterback bootleg with no pass outlet if things break down. Instead of having a shot to win in overtime, the Chiefs lost for the 17th time in the last 19 games that count at Arrowhead because of more bone-headed decision making from both the head coach and his general on the field. (I do not think that it's a coincidence, that the two most brain challenged members on this squad are the head coach and the QB, and we've lost 10 of 13 games. Not a coincidence at all).
Bad teams tend to be bad because ... well, because the talent base just isn't there. Either the team has embraced a rebuild, or they're in denial about the need for a rebuild, but either way, the talent isn't there.
(Or they completely screw up the rebuild through year after year of incompetent drafting decisions, bad free agent signings, and horrible coaching hires. Like the 2009 Chiefs).
Nobody is suggesting the 2009 Chiefs should be challenging for the Lombardi Trophy. The talent level simply isn't there to contend week in, week out with the best of the best.
But I am saying that they should be at least three games better in the standings than they are. The reason why we are an also-ran yet again, as opposed to being in the mix of 7 teams within a game of the final wildcard spot, is because the Chiefs screw up the routine more than any other team I've ever seen.
99 coaches out of 100 instinctively know the right thing to do in a situation. So long as you've got one of those 99 calling the shots for you, you've got a chance. Even the worst of the 99 at least handles the routine correctly. Its when you get the 1 out of 100 that you're FUBAR'd.
Todd Haley is definitely in the category of 1. Until and unless Chiefs management recognizes this and pulls the plug, there's no reason for hope or optimism about this team. They will continue to lose in jaw-dropping fashion. They will continue to find ways to get embarrassed by the contenders, and humiliate themselves against the pretenders. They will continue to praise their practices, and continue to embarrass themselves on the turf on gameday. "You are what you are". The 2009 Chiefs are the worst coached team Chiefs team in at least 21 years. They are a freaking embarrassment to themselves, to the city, to the history of this franchise.
Worst of all, they're the single worst thing a professional team can be -- absolutely unbearable to watch.
(Bring on the Browns in a matchup of the two worst head coaches in the league! Holy crap, common sense might be set back 55 years on Sunday when these two intellectual "giants" lock wits on the field ...)
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