There are weeks that Ol' Klassy steps in it.
And then ... there was this week.
When he not just steps in it -- he makes Andy's travel through "500 feet of the most foul smelling sh*t imaginable" to freedom, look clean and tidy.
(If you need to grasp the movie that reference comes from? There's no hope for you. (Pause). Pun intended.)
This week's blast at the biggest hypocrite with a radio show in our fine metropolitan area ... comes via quotation, on Greg Hall's "Off The Couch" column ... and brace yourself readers. This one? Makes Roger Goodell look in touch and on top of things.
Last year, I explained why the Chiefs matter to me like they do.
Back in 2006, I have rarely if ever enjoyed a win over the denver broncos, like I did.
And in 2008?
The Chiefs were huge underdogs. They entered the day on a 346 day losing streak.
It didn't matter.
It took two freaking recaps, to even attempt to express the thoughts of the day.
We aren't at Arrowhead.
Which apparently, in the eyes of most Chiefs fans, makes this Mission: Impossible.
Sometimes, you hit the road against a team that is much better than you -- or at least your equal -- and get your ass kicked.
But sometimes, you don't.
I will never forget 1999, when Tamarick Vanover returned a punt late in the game, to beat the donkeys at Real Mile High.
Or 2000, when the Chiefs trailed 19-3, and won 23-22 on the back of not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, but seven -- seven! -- donkey turnovers, the last of which being a Marvcus Patton interception that left Kevin Harlan speechless ... and the residents of an apartment in western Shawnee overjoyed.
Or 2009, when on my 32nd birthday, the Chiefs -- with nothing to play for -- and the donkeys -- facing a "win and you're in" status -- ended the season with a demolition, the Chiefs first win at fake mile high, a 44-20 boatracing that still makes me smile five years later.
Or 2011, when the donkeys again faced a "win and you're in", and the Chiefs had nothing to play for ... and won one horrific game, 7-3 (although the donkeys did ultimately win the division via tiebreakers).
The matchup I keep coming back to for this one though, is 2006. When a Chiefs team coming off a major personnel loss to open the season (Trent Green), having been blown out at home by a likely wildcard rival (Bengals), had to travel to fake mile high to face a donkeys team nobody thought they could compete against. In case you've forgotten 2006, we started a dude by the name of Damon Huard that afternoon in denver.
It was Mr. Huard's first start in six years -- since a start in November 2000.
And it was his first appearance in a game -- save for the previous week -- since mop-up duty in 2003.
The result? donkeys 9, Chiefs 6, in overtime.
In defeat? The Chiefs saved their season, as they'd win seven of their next nine, the seventh of which -- against the donkeys, in prime time, on Thanksgiving weekend?
Got the Chiefs into the playoffs, on tiebreakers ... over the denver broncos.
"The Robin" is my favorite scene, from my second favorite season of "How I Met Your Mother", even though, in the end, Robin proved to be right.
Barney and Robin didn't make it twenty minutes in the series finale as a couple -- they took the "Three Year Off Ramp" and ended the marriage that neither of them was satisfied with. A fan of the show could argue their ending was so freaking predictable, it's freaking pathetic. (OK, fine, I would argue that. But I know I'm not alone.)
And yet, I still love the scene, even knowing in hindsight -- and strongly suspecting in the moment -- what the end game would be.
Because Barney gambled everything, on the one thing, he unconditionally, truly loved.
And for once? It wasn't himself.
Barney declared his intentions right off the bat (Step One: Admit to yourself that you still have feelings for this girl).
He inserted the "wait, what the hell are we exactly?" moment in every relationship that frustrates the living hell out of you (Step Three: Agree that you two don't work, blocking the door on any future you could have together).
He stooped to levels unimaginable, in an effort to win the battle for Robin's heart (Step Five: Find the person who annoys Robin the most in the world ... and ask for her help).
Sorry, I have to.
God, I'm gonna miss this show.
And then he gets to the point, Step Fourteen.
"The last play you'll ever run".
If you know me at all, you know I am not an arrogant or selfish person. I almost never demand my way. And when I do? It's probably for a damned good reason.
Today, Chiefs fans?
I need this game.
Because I need to believe, in the one thing, I irrationally, and indefensibly, turn to, as my beacon of hope.
I need my Robin, to read Step Sixteen today, and do what it says.
"Hope she'll say yes".
We've seen classic moment after classic moment in this rivalry.
We have Dante Hall in 2003. Pete For President in 1997.
I don't know why, but I think we're getting a moment today.
So help me God, I irrationally love this team. I unreasonably love this team.
Today, we get Step Sixteen.
Or as I put it seven years ago, in the words of QB1 Saracen, my eyes are open, Coach. My eyes are wide open!
* Chiefs (+11 1/2) 29, at broncos 19. I have no idea how. I have no idea why. I just know that I believe in "Fat" Andy Reid. I have seen Alex Smith enter fake mile high as a multi-touchdown underdog, spot the
I just think this day is gonna be one, to tell your grandkids about someday. The day the Chiefs began the donkeys decline into irrelevance. The day the myth of peyton manning was thrown into the trash can once and for all.
And if I'm wrong?
Then so be it.
But I'm gambling the Chiefs will say yes ...