"Any of you that's ever played down in Columbia, Missouri, you know its a damned war! And that's another thing -- some of you old timers that have been down there, you gotta tell these young people what its like!
They will do everything in their power to distract you from the football game! They got, I don't know what in the hell they call it, their damned group that they put them on scholarship, and all they do is to just get out there and hollar at you, and call you names -- they'll call you everything that you've ever heard of before!
They're trying to get your mind off of the football game! Their fans, they're -- 80,000 of them, or however many there'll be, will all be drunk. There won't be a sober person in the whole damned stadium ..."
-- Legendary KU Coach Don Fambrough, from his pep talk delivered to the 2005 Jayhawks prior to the MU game.
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It is a war.
Albeit for tailgating purposes, a friendly kind of war.
Saturday, at almost high noon, KU and MU do battle on the gridiron.
The stakes are nowhere near as high as last year's epic battle, when KU entered at #2, MU entered at #4, the Big XII North title, the number one ranking in the land, and a potential national championship berth were on the line.
This year, all that's on the line for both schools is pride. MU has already won the North, and will play whoever survives the South next week at Arrowhead for a BCS berth (with the South team likely playing for a national championship berth). KU is bowl eligible, and will go bowling in back to back years for the first time in program history. (Further proof that if you're a team I have season tickets for, you probably suck ass).
But one thing that hasn't changed ... is the hatred of both teams fans for the opposition.
Saturday, we'll be rolling into (probably) Lot G to tailgate the day up right. We're starting early. Dusty and I will be there by 8. Brent, Meagan, and Mallory to follow shortly, if they don't beat us in. Damien to get the grill going for some promising breakfast tacos and quesadillas. Damien's sister and whoever she brings to ... uuh, be typical college kids -- hopefully have so much fun they won't remember a damned thing come Sunday morning.
If you're going, feel free to stop by. I figure we'll do our damnest to grab our usual Chiefs tailgating spot, in the grassy lot at the back of Lot G. The washers will be tossed, the footballs will be flying, the grill will be smoking, the mamossa's will be bubbly, the jello shots will be cold and smooth, (hopefully) we'll have some brownies ... and I'm setting 3.5 as the over / under on the "Steve Drinking" game.
(I'm also guessing Dusty and Damien will not be locking arms and swaying side to side with Brent, Meagan and myself for the Alma Mater. But that's ok. They don't have to "lift the chorus ever onward" ... so long as they promise to drop the "rip his f*cking head off!!! chant at least once. Really, its the greatest chant in sports. Hope you'll participate ...)
I feel this game will be close. I think it will come down to who has the ball last.
I'm guessing we won't.
MU 38, KU (+15) 35.
Whatever happens on the field though ... there's a saying we had in Texas, to recognize a UT / A&M mixed gathering -- "Where we're united by the fact that Texas Tech isn't a real school". KU, MU fans? We can unite behind the fact that Kansas State University isn't a real school, just made a horrid, jaw droppingly awful, backward looking hire, and the only school we have to fear other than each other for the next decade in the division is Nebraska.
Until Saturday, have a great holiday, enjoy the friends and family, and remember: Hawk Football! You Can't Drink All Day, Unless You Start in the Morning!
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