* The AFC Final Field:
1. 13-3 Baltimore Ravens (win tiebreaker with Patriots via
head-to-head victory)
2. 13-3 New England Patriots (best remaining record amongst
division champions)
3. 11-5 Kansas City Chiefs (best remaining record amongst
division champions)
4. 10-6 Tennessee Titans (best remaining record amongst
division champions)
5. 10-6 San Diego “Super Chargers” (win tiebreaker with
broncos via conference record)
6. 10-6 denver broncos (best remaining record)
7. 9-7 Buffalo Bills (best remaining record)
8. 8-8 Jacksonville Jaguars (win tiebreaker with Jets via
head-to-head victory)
9. 8-8 New York Jets (best remaining record)
10. 7-9 Houston Texans (win tiebreaker with Steelers via
conference record)
11. 7-9 Pittsburgh Steelers (best remaining record)
12. 6-10 oakland raiders (best remaining record)
13. 5-11 Cincinnati Bengals (best remaining record)
14. 3-13 Miami Dolphins (best remaining record)
15. 2-14 Cleveland Browns (win tiebreaker with Colts via
head-to-head win)
16. 2-14 Indianapolis Colts (only remaining team)
* The Wildcard Round
Mixology 2012 Song to Describe Said Round: “Daydream
Believer” by the Monkees. Sorry if I
already used this one, but consider what I project Wildcard 2012 to be: Philly
vs Dallas (epic grudge match). The
Battle of the Bay of Pigs, in the words of the late, great Pete Axthelm (Green
at Tampa). A throwaway game to start
Saturday on NBC (San Diego at Tennessee … which still will be
entertaining). And God willing in the
late Sunday slot?
A matchup I’ve waited fifteen fucking (unedited) years to
exact revenge for. A postseason showdown
that’s happened exactly one time in history, on my 21st
birthday. A game that to this day, I get
nightmares about. A game that I still
have the damned rally towel for, because I know that someday, our shot at avenging
the injustice of January 1998 will present itself, and I want a relic from that
abortion of a moment to be there to cleanse its soul of the stink of that day.
Revenge is a dish best served with a long, steel dagger
struck deep into the spine. Or ideally,
the neck, of our arch-rival’s quarterback …
(5) Chargers 34, at (4) Titans 13. I really like this Chargers team. In a big way.
In a “they’re a legitimate Lombardi Trophy threat” kind of way. A tune up before one EPIC matchup in either
Foxboro or Baltimore the next week.
(6) broncos 21, at (3) Chiefs 24. This one?
Would be all levels of exercising a demon for me. The Chiefs are 0 for peyton in the
playoffs. They’re 0 for denver in the playoffs. They’re 0 for anyone in the playoffs since I
was a junior in high school, and here’s a hint – I’d be 36 when this game would
occur. (Admit it, you just read that and
thought “my God, how is someone who looks this damned amazing going to be 36 in
four months? Oh, you didn’t think
that? Well, you SHOULD have thought
that.)
It’s time, Chiefs fans, to buy into what this organization
is selling. We’ve waited 19 years for a
playoff win. Why CAN’T 2012 be the year
the futility ends? Our “good buddy”, Ol’
Pete King, who has written exactly seventeen positive words about the Chiefs in
the last twenty years, projects us to win the AFC West and win a wildcard
game. Our good buddy Hub Arkesh, publisher
of Pro Football Weekly, has the Chiefs not only winning the AFC West, he has us
winning the whole damned conference!
This isn’t delusional Stevo making these picks – these are (allegedly)
reputable, respected NFL experts!
* The Divisional Round.
Mixology 2012 Song to Describe Said Round: “Don’t Stop
Believin’” by Journey. Two rising AFC
West teams looking to achieve their break through. Two powerhouse east coast AFC teams facing
their potential last gasp at greatness.
Old guard vs new blood. In the
words of AJ to Tony and Carm at the table at Holstens as this song hit its
crescendo: “remember the good times, right?”
(5) Chargers 34, at (1) Ravens 24. Love this matchup for San Diego. Rivers can throw all day against a
weak-at-best Ravens secondary. The one
true strength on defense San Diego has is stopping the run. Chargers emerge with an “easier than expected”
victory.
(3) Chiefs 24, at (2) Patriots 14. If they played ten times, the Patriots would
probably win nine. But not this
day. Not this time. For as great of a player and champion as they
are, Brady and Belichick have crapped out at home quite extensively the last
few years – wildcard loss to the Ravens in 2009, humiliating demolishing by the
Jets in Foxboro in the divisional round in 2010, and they should have lost to
the Ravens in the AFC Title Game last year (Ravens dropped a touchdown inside the
final minute, then shanked the game winning field goal from 28 yards out as
time expired). The Chiefs keep it
rolling, setting up a day I have waited a lifetime for …
* The Conference Championship
Mixology 2012 Song to Describe Said Round: “The Time Of My
Life” by David Cook. If I’m gonna be
this biased and completely ridiculous in my predictions, I might as well go all
out.
(5) Chargers 31, at Chiefs (3) 21. I can’t do it. God knows I want to … but San Diego’s the
better team. The Chargers are simply too
talented to let their window close without at least one Hunt Trophy, and I fear
this is the year they do it. Even at my
team’s expense.
AFC Champions: Your San Diego “Super” Chargers.
Super Bowl Prediction: Chargers over Bucs.
Super Bowl Champions: come on, sing it, you know you want
to:
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