“Like the fool I am and I’ll always be,
I’ve got a dream. I’ve
got a dream.
They can change their minds, but they can’t change me!
I’ve got a dream! I’ve
got a dream!
Oh, I know I could share it if you want me to.
And if you’re going my way?
I’ll go with you …”
------------------------------------------------
Last Week SU: 9-7-0.
Season to Date SU: 27-21-0.
Last Week ATS: 11-5-0.
Season to Date ATS: 26-22-0.
Last Week’s “Screw You Pete King” Upset / Week: those
magical five words move to 9-0-0 straight up since 2001.
Season to Date “Screw You Pete King” Upset / Week: 2-1-0 SU;
2-1-0 ATS.
This Week’s “Screw You Pete King” Upset of the Week: (stevo
sighing in abject disgust at the question) take a mother f*cking guess.
The Non-Chiefs, Non-Jets “Fling It And Hope It Sticks”
Crappy Guesses:
Byes: Steelers, Colts.
Since “Sur” William Callahan coaches for neither squad, it appears “vs.
bye” will open 0-0 this year. Solid
start!
* at Ravens 30, Browns (+11) 27. Here’s to hoping Satan lets Art Modell tune
in to watch the battle of his former franchises. It’s the least Satan can do, after accepting
Art’s soul in exchange for a couple hundred million dollar bribe to move the
Browns to Baltimore, after all.
* Bengals (-2 ½) 31, at Jaguars 24. Please, dude who controls the video board at
Arrowhead, please – me, Stevo? The hot
as hell guy in 336, row 8, seat 23?
Yeah, the one every girl in the stadium has their binoculars trained
on? Please, for my sake, when – not if,
WHEN – WHEN Ed Hochuli delivers his first fifteen minute explanation of a
penalty in this game on Sunday, please, I’m begging you, JIP the call.
* at Bucs (-2 ½) 38, Redskins 24. There’s plenty of room on the Bucs Bandwagon
Express folks. Right now it’s just me
and Greg Schiano on board, and possibly my former boss and her husband. Plenty of room. You can even like sit in the second row and
everything!
* Titans (+12) 38, at Texans 34. It’s simple: if Houston wins this game, the
AFC South race is over four weeks into the season. Houston would be at least two clear of every
other divisional rival, and probably three clear, with two divisional wins in
hand. I picked the Titans to win the
South. If they have any shot to do it,
they have to spring the upset.
* at Falcons 28, Panthers (+7) 24. OK, this dumping on Cam Newton is getting
really ridiculous. The kid is 23 years
old for Christ’s sake! What the hell is
everyone so up in arms about, that he botches a presser and says a couple
questionable statements that “lead to questions about his maturity and
leadership skills”. Jesus, HE’S 23! When I was 23, I was doing at least 2 of
these 4 things every night: (a) drinking heavily, (b) getting high, (c) sitting
at a blackjack table, (d) staring like a slack jawed yokel at the never-ending
2000 election results. Again, AT LEAST 2
of those 4 things every night. Cam at
23? Has won a freaking Heisman, a
freaking National Championship, has the Panthers as a legitimate playoff threat
despite a brain-dead moron coaching them, AND has me beyond geeked up to see in
person on December 2nd.
Again, the last time I was this excited to see a visitor enter Arrowhead
for the first time, was when the Official Stevo Man Crush of a Lifetime made
his first appearance at Arrowhead to open the 2005 season. Lay off of Cam. The kid is special. He’s ridiculously special. One poorly conducted presser shouldn’t take
the focus off his sick talent and potential.
* at Lions (-5) 38, Vikings 13. Christian Ponder on the road. Christian Ponder on the road. Christian Ponder on the road. Like last week, when 80% of the gambling
public convinced themselves the Rams could cover, if not win in Chicago. Come on people. Christian!
Ponder! On! The!
Road!!!
* at Bills 28, Patriots (-4) 20. THE toughest game on the board to call. And honestly, I don’t think I’m picking this
right, given my strident belief in that “you never bet against a proven veteran
team with its back against the wall”.
But something’s just not right with this Pats team. From the cockiness of taking two knees to attempt
a 40 plus yard field goal against the Cardinals, to the total meltdown in the
last 2:20 in Baltimore … something just ain’t right. I still think that regardless of this game’s
outcome, the Pats rally to win the AFC East.
I just think we’re looking at the 1996 / 1998 / 1999 Cowboys all over
again – good enough to win a sh*tty division, but do little to no damage once
the calendar flips to January.
* at Rams (+2 ½) 27, Seahawks 20. Let this sink in – if the Jets and Rams hold
serve at home, and the Cardinals take care of business against (arguably) the
worst team in football at home? The
Cards are TWO CLEAR of the division, with a win over Seattle in hand. Are we really ready to live in a world where
the Arizona “Super” Cardinals are a credible threat to reach the Super Bowl for
the second time in five years?
* Saints (+7 ½) 45, at Packers 31. Speaking of “something just ain’t right about
this team”, the Saints and Packers everyone!
The “we’re seriously screwed if we lose this game” extravaganza! For the Saints, the road to recovery is
simple – steal this one on the road, then hold serve at home against the
Chargers next Sunday, and bammo!, you’re right back in this thing. (No need for the “touchdown, onside kick,
touchdown, onside kick, touchdown” debacle I am so good at giving up at Madden
(insert year here).) I think they get it
done.
* at broncos 13, raiders (+7) 10. Hey, it’s our first “if terrorists blow the
joint up, it’s not a tragedy, it’s a national celebration” Game of the
Year! (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!! And hey, before you broncos readers of this post
send email hate messages to me – I didn’t come up with the “nuke denver during
a football game” dream scenario. That would
be Tom Clancy, in “The Sum of All Fears”.
Aim your hate at him, not me!
(While I aim total and complete love for that scenario in his direction …)
* at Cardinals (-5) 34, Dolphins 3. Wow, we really are living in a world where
laying five on the Cards is automatic.
Unbelievable. Absolutely
unbelievable. Also, again, as a public
service announcement: if you happen to stay in a Super 8 in the greater Phoenix
metropolitan area? Turning on the faucet
does NOT drown out the sound of you banging your girl in the bathroom. Just a heads up for when the Chiefs visit the
desert in two years. Life IS great at
Super 8 … but them are some paper thin walls.
* Giants (+2) 27, at Eagles 20. The second toughest game of the week to
call. Should be a classic. Kudos to NBC for grabbing this one. Normally, I rip NBC (and it’s asshat of all
trades, “Ol’” Pete King) for their scheduling, but the SNF schedule this year
is awesome. And this game might be the
best one they broadcast. I love me some
NFC East grudge matches!
* at Cowboys (+3 ½) 28, Bears 24. HATE the half point. (Damned Danny Sheridan at USA Today. Come on man, cut me a break and give me a
push at 3, which is how this game is destined to end). Two flawed NFC contenders in a huge game that
could determine a divisional round home field advantage. Dallas is slightly less fatally flawed than
Chicago. They get the nod.
The Jets (brett voice) “aw! shit!” / “We Done Be Screwed” Pick:
I think it’s now appropriate to ask which number will be
higher: (a) the number of kids Antonio Cromartie is financially liable for
creating, or (b) the number of passes he’ll get burned on as the new top corner
for the (fireman ed voice) J! E! T! S!
Jets Jets Jets! I’m leaning (a),
since he’s already got nine built in … but I can absolutely see Crabtree, Moss,
and Davis lighting him up for 11 catches, 220 yards, and 3 TDs on Sunday.
And yet, as bad as things look without Darrelle Revis until
at least next August … it isn’t ALL bad for the Jets. The non-divisional games are NFC West, AFC
South, San Diego (at home on a Sunday nighter), and at Tennessee (on a Monday
nighter). They’re 2-1. They survived their house of horrors in South
Beach. I still think the Jets can win 9
and be in the cluster f*ck for final team in.
But they need this one to do it.
at Jets (+3 ½) 31, 49ers 27.
Again, I HATE the half point, Mr. Sheridan! HATE IT!
The Chiefs “Possibly Inspirational Speech” and Prediction:
First, congrats to my buddy Damien, who will be using the “oh
my God, why did I agree to sit here?!?!” seat next to me this week. I’ve said it before, and it bears repeating:
if you can sit next to me at a Chiefs game, and still have even 2/1000ths of an
ounce of like or respect for me afterwards?
You’re a keeper. I’m putting this
friendship on the line, that’s for sure.
Having said that …
It’s simple folks.
Either you believe this season can be saved, or you don’t. Either you believe this team has enough
talent to rise into first place come 3:30pm CT Sunday, and hold onto it until
January, or you don’t. Either you
believe this team is worth supporting, or you don’t.
If you think playing for first place to close out September
portends doom for the Chiefs? Please,
sell your ticket(s) on eBay, on StubHub, on TicketMaster Exchange, just please –
don’t show up Sunday.
We don’t need defeated losers like you occupying the stands.
This season is NOT over!
It’s only just begun!
And the fun truly begins Sunday.
Six years ago, when sending out the “picks email” that so
put me on the map, that I turned to blogging these picks, I noted as the 2-3
Chiefs returned home for a two game homestand against (a) the AFC’s best team
in 2006 and (b) the defending NFC champions that “only we can ensure victory in
these two contests”.
Fellow Chiefs fans?
It’s 2006 all over again. ONLY WE can ensure VICTORY these next two
weeks, against (in order) … (a) the team I picked to win the Lombardi a month
ago, and (b) the team that should be your defending AFC champions. ONLY WE can alter this outcome. ONLY WE can take my magical five word “take
a mother f*cking guess” phrase, and make it magical!
ONLY WE can do that!
Chiefs fans? Fellow
peoples and peepettes?
If you’re going my way?
I’ll go with you.
We ARE winning this game.
Behind 70,000 plus properly “lubricated” fans, who have NOT given up,
have NOT sold out this season, who STILL believe in the greatness this team can
achieve? Behind US?
We aren’t losing.
I had four emails last week come in for my Chiefs win at
Saints pick, asking if I’d lost all objectivity. Quite the contrary! I said we’d lose by 28 at Buffalo. (We should have lost by 32). I said we’d escape New Orleans (we did). I like to feel I have my pulse on this team*.
And we? Us? Chiefs?
Chiefs fans?
We are WINNING this game!
(*: I remain convinced that if Succup’s field goal to open
the second half is good, to tie the game at 20?
You have a different outcome week one, the only game I’ve completely
whiffed on so far.)
My tailgating group will be there before the gates open on
Sunday. We’ll be in our usual spot. We welcome any and all Chiefs fans who show
up expecting victory. The menu is
Charger Chicken*, assorted side items, probably some margaritas, and a few
bloody mary’s to boot.
(*: if you have “4” in the “how many chicken boobs does
Stevo demand get marinated in syrah overnight … I’d bet the over. Red wine soaked grilled chicken is WICKEDLY
good!)
If you need a spot to park, let me know. I’ll save you a spot, as many spots as you
need. We need as close to 78,625 die
hards in that stadium Sunday as we can muster.
We need every person who considers themselves a blinded by loyalty
Chiefs fan to show up and occupy a spot in front of their seat Sunday. We need beer pong pros (so I don’t have to
play). We need washer pros (again, so I
don’t have to play). We need you – the FANS
of this team – we need YOU to show up, en masse, to root for the only thing in
this metropolitan area we can all unite behind.
Ten years ago this weekend, I sent out “the defining moment”of my blogging / emailing / “fling it and hope it sticks” career. Please – click the link. Read what my thoughts were ten years ago, and
change “Dolphins” to “Chargers”, and you’ll get it. You’ll grasp what we, as fans of this team,
face on Sunday.
And I trust, after reading it, you’ll do your job, as fans
of this team, to somehow will this team, which has led for 0:00 seconds so far
this year, into first place at the quarter pole.
Because if reading that link above doesn't fire you up? Doesn't inspire you to show up well before kickoff to root this team on to victory they probably don't deserve?
Then how the f*ck are you a Chiefs fan?
We WILL win this game!
Behind the combined strength of a team that is beginning to believe in
its greatness, and a fanbase that refuses to consider any alternative other
that greatness, let’s do this.
Be LOUD! Make your
mark!
Make Arrowhead ROCK on Sunday! denver fans could make their old stadium
shake to its foundation. It’s high
damned time we made Arrowhead on a level par with Real Mile High.
at Chiefs (+1 ½) 23, Chargers 17 (OT), in yet another game
that the Chiefs don’t lead until the final snap. Be there folks. Do your job as a fan, as someone who enjoys, watching the Chiefs play. Do YOUR job as a Kansas Citian, who wants to see the local team win.
And as a final note: please -- visit the Hall of Honor Sunday. (I plan to head in no later than 10:45am to pay a few minutes respect). It is Alumni Weekend ... and sadly, the greatest Chief of them all, for a 29th straight year, can only participate in the festivities from Heaven.
Read up on Joe Delaney. Please -- read up on Joe Delaney. The fact that 37 is not permanently retired it OUTRAGEOUS. The fact that so few people seem to care, is BEYOND outrageous.
Other than my father, I've never had a "hero" I look up to more than Joe Delaney. Please, Chiefs fans, take a few minutes on Sunday to pay your respects to the Greatest Chief of All Time.
And Scott Pioli?
RETIRE 37 ALREADY!!! ...
And yeah, please, current Chiefs?
WIN! THIS! GAME!!!
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