Sunday, September 16, 2012

chiefs! bills! live thoughts ...

Hello peoples and peepettes!  The last time I did a live blog of a Chiefs game ... the Chiefs were 0-5 traveling to Washington.  They somehow won.

The last time I noted my thoughts during a game, then posted them right afterwards ... the Chiefs were headed to Cleveland in a make-or-break game in week 2 of 2010.  They won, setting the stage for a division championship.

So now, with the Chiefs facing as close to a "must win" game as a team can have in week two ... time to kick the tires off this site and haul an old friend out of retirement.

I'll be live about 11:45 CT.  Until then, prepare yourselves properly.  (stevo heading off to pour the first vodka and gatorade of the morning ...)

And ... we're back!  As always, I'll be logged into Yahoo! IM as teamtito15 if you want to comment, or you can use that neat thing below this called "comments" to post your thoughts.  Also, hitting the F5 button refreshes the screen, since I'm too damned cheap to pay for Cover It Live.

Oh God No.  Steve Buerelein.

This Spiro Dedes guy looks frighteningly like Soren Petro.

Watching Mizzou get humiliated by 40 points on national TV next Saturday is going to be epic.  Insert "Go Cocks Go" jokes here.

Gretz labeled this game the "Desperation Bowl".  Yup.  Although much more for the Chiefs than Bills -- Buffalo gets Cleveland next week, and has a winnable roadie in the desert in three weeks.

Plenty of good seats available at the Ralph.

Buffalo won the toss, deferred.  Chiefs will receive the kick.

Damn.  That was an impressive kick.  Chiefs start at their 20.

Great first play -- the ol' quick pass to Dante Hall for the gimme 13.  Except in this case, it was Peyton Hillis.  Great play call.

Cassel to Bowe for 4, maybe 5.  2nd and 5 at the 40 upcoming.

Cassel changing the play.

Good call -- draw to Charles gains 9.  1st and 10 just shy of midfield.

Charles loses 4, maybe 5.  Cassel barely got that snap off.

Cassel way off on 2nd and 13, intended for Bowe, who appeared to fall down.  3rd and long upcoming.

Buerelein: "Cassel was lucky that ball wasn't picked off" as it sails three feet above everyone's head.

Charles gets 10 on a screen.  4th and 3.

Chiefs going for it.  Nope.  Delay of game.

Buerelein is already driving me to drink, and we aren't even four minutes in.

Dusty C punts, Buffalo fair catch at the 16.  Time out.

First down, Spiller offtackle for maybe two.  He's a tito today.  I'm also facing my arch-rivals, the Angry Beavers.  Somehow, I'm favored by 8.

Second down, Spiller for seven.  Third and one upcoming.  Embarrassing display of tackling -- he should have been stopped after a gain of two.

WOW.  And the BOOS are raining down, and deservedly so.  A great bootleg called, and Fitzpatrick threw it three yards short of the wide open tight end.  WOW.

Arenas fields at his fifteen, gets to about the 31.  1st and 10 Chiefs, time out.

Hillis up the middle for four.

Awful.  Charles trips over Asomoah, loses six.  3rd and long upcoming.

Cassel dumps to the safety valve Charles.  Horrible blocking on that play, Cassel was about to get leveled.  Punt upcoming.

GREAT punt!  Dusty C's punt goes 47 yards, return loses 3.  Unfortunately, somehow the Chiefs are flagged for holding.  Buffalo should have it around their own 30 when we get back.

Wait, why is Buffalo starting at their own 14?  Was the penalty on Buffalo?  This makes zero sense.  First down, Spiller gets five.

Spiller on a Wildcat draw, gets six and the Bills first first down.  Decent defense in that spot.

Spiller loses one on first down.  Solid tackle by Houston.

Awful blitz call, and Spiller is wide open in the middle of the field.  Gain of 20.  Horrible call on defense against that play call.

Tashard Choice gains seven on first down.

Buerelein just called this a "statement drive" by Buffalo.  They haven't even reached midfield yet.

Choice gets two.  3rd and 1 upcoming just past midfield.

Nope, he got it.  1st down by about a chain length.

Wow.  Botched wildcat handoff results in a six yard loss, and toss in a holding call to boot.  Disasterous for Buffalo.

1st and 20.

A wobbly floater somehow hauled in by Brad Smith, gains all the lost yards back and then some.

Fitzpatrick barely avoids the sack on 2nd down.  He scrambles for 20 on 3rd down, to set up 1st and 10 inside the red zone.

CBS graphic just called this "1st and 5".  WHAT?

Fitzpatrick incomplete on first down.

Buerelein, on that last attempt, where Stevie Johnson was diving to make the catch at the 10: "if he catches that, it's a touchdown".  Christ.

THAT?  That is a touchdown, Mr. Buerelein.  Spiller for 18 and the points.  Horrific defensive drive by the Chiefs.  Guys?  The zone blitz ain't working.  You gotta drop the blitz, assign DJ to Fitzpatrick, and play cover two.  The blitz AIN'T working -- its exposing the entire middle of the field.  Two more series like this, and you can kiss 2012, 2013, and 2014 goodbye, as I noted in my picks this week.

Apparently there's an all out brawl in the end zone in Philly!  And it's not in the stands for once!!!

Another epic touchback.  Chiefs start at their 20, and they'd better answer -- the way our defense is playing, we've already punted twice too many times.

Hillis loses one on first down.

Dump off to McCluster for 4.  Interesting formation -- they shifted Moeaki wide right.  Might be setting up something for later?

Cassel throwing it away.  Bills got away with a blatant hold.

Decent punt, but Edgar Jones nearly decapitates Leodis McKelvin.  Frankly, Jones should be ejected for that play.

Offsetting penalties, Bills had a block in the back.  I still think Edgar Jones should be tossed.  That is ridiculous.  That is absolutely ridiculous.

And you're damned right that if Edgar Jones had nearly decapitated a donkey, I'd be calling for his immediate induction into the Ring of Honor.

Spiller gets 3 on first down, and we're through one.  7-0 Bills.

First qtr stats: Chiefs outgained 108-39, Chiefs 0/3 on third downs, only 4 yards of rushing to boot.  Horrendous.

Fitzpatrick rolls for a first down.

Chiefs have gone to man coverage, FYI.  Good call.

Good tackle by Houston to hold Brad Smith to a gain of 5.

Spiller rolls for a 37 yard gain to the 15.  Great blocking by the Bills.  Chiefs had 10 on the line, and Spiller was untouched.

Fitzpatrick gains 7, maybe 8, on a designed rollout.  Chan Gailey has put the clown suit on Romeo so far.  Although to be fair, Romeo showed up in the wig and fake nose.

D'OH!  Flowers ALMOST picked that pass.  Stevie Johnson with a great breakup of the worst throw of the game so far.

Spiller, corner, touchdown.  Untouched.  Forget the clown suit -- Chan Gailey is putting the dunce cap on the worst head coach in the NFL.

Spiller has already posted 21 points for team tito.

And we're not even 18 minutes into this game.  (joey lawrence voice) whoa!

Three kickoffs, three touchbacks.  God, let that sink in -- the Bills get the ball at the half.

Hillis gets four on first down.  This drive is as close to "must score" as it gets.  Well, other than "last call at the Eclipse on Friday night", THAT'S as close to "must score" as it gets when driving is involved.

Cassel with a great play fake -- froze the Bills corner, which freed Bowe for 25 up the middle.  Great play.

2nd and 9.  Sorry, missed a play.

Yikes.  Make that 3rd and 9 on a horrific pass by Cassel.

My God.  Sack, loss of 10, and I don't think Cassel reached four on the five step drop before getting, uuh, dropped.

Horrible punt, Bills take over at their 25.  If that went 30 yards, I'm 8 inches.  Timeout.

Every time I see Aaron Rodgers in a commercial, I get enraged.  Remember Chiefs fans -- he was OURS if we wanted him.  He fell to us at 15.  Carl passed.  And I don't how good Derrick Johnson is -- he ain't no Aaron Rodgers.

Here's how big of a joke this game has become -- they're hitting beach balls around in the stands in the Ralph.  The Bills are so destroying us, that they're hitting beach balls.  And we aren't even 21 minutes in.

Quick pitch gets one.  2nd and 9 at about the Chiefs 35.

Pardon me, 25.

Awful pass.  3rd and 9.  HUGE play right here.

Then you stand.  Great delayed corner blitz, Fitzpatrick had to dump to the safety valve, who lost two.  Punt upcoming.

Fair catch at the Chiefs 25.  Studebaker almost got that punt.  Timeout.  Huge drive upcoming.

Hillis with a great second effort, gets 6 on first down.  Uum, where's Jamaal Charles?

Cassel under pressure underthrows Moeaki on 2nd down.  3rd and 4.

Cassel to Bowe, easy first down.  10, maybe 11 yard gain.

Dedes: "We've got some good games going around the NFL, and we've got a great one here".  WHAT?!?!

Cassel.  Sack.  Fumble.  Bills ball.

Is week two too soon to bench your starting quarterback?

Or to fire the worst hiring in franchise history?

1st and 10 Bills at the Chiefs 43.  No gain by Spiller on first down, stood up by DJ.

Buerelein: "we talked to Romeo Crennel and we asked him what was the problem last week".  Was he honest and said "me"?

Spiller gets 7 on 2nd down.  Would be a tricky field goal from here.  3rd and 3 at the Chiefs 36.

Never mind.  Stevie Johnson.  First down.

Right now, the only two teams trailing by more than 4 points in any game on the board are the Jaguars ... and the Chiefs.

Screen to Spiller.  1st and goal at the 2.  Disgraceful.

Damn.  Good call by the refs -- the Bills back was stood up, but the ball came out right after the whistle blew.  Loss of five.

Touchdown Bills.  Some dude named Chandler.  And a fight breaks out.  Way to FINALLY show some emotion guys.

Comment from Yahoo: "why aren't you getting pissed yet".  Answer: because I said we'd lose 41-13.  I saw this debacle coming.  When you employ an assclown, an abject f*cking idiot like Romeo Crennel as your head coach?  You will enter every game unprepared, poorly coached, and outmatched.  EVERY.  DAMNED.  GAME.

Timeout.  21-0 Bills.  If the Chiefs have any fight in them, it's time to show it.

Spiller now has 25 fantasy points for team tito.  With 4 minutes to play in the first half.

What a joke.

Buerelein: "we're gonna see what this team is made of now".  No shit, sherlock.

Comment from Yahoo: "remember, trailed 0-24 at Indy last year".  So you're saying there's a chance.

False start.  1st and 15 at the 17 now.

No discipline, poor scheming, players out of position, lack of emotion -- Romeo Crennel Football.

Hillis gets 8.  Where the fuck is Jamaal Charles?!?!

First down to Bowe.  Gain of 9.  1st and 10 at the 34.  Get moving guys -- the clock's running and, uum, how to put this delicately ... YOU'RE DOWN 21 POINTS!

That was not a catch.

Cassel gets the snap off.  Big gain to Boss if it stands, flag is down.

Go figure -- chop block on Hillis.  Instead of a 20 yard gain, it's a 15 yard loss.  ROMEO!  CRENNEL!  FOOTBALL!!!!!

Hey, it's Jamaal Charles!  7 yard gain on 1st and 25.  2 minute warning, 2nd and 18 upcoming, Chiefs trail by 21.  Come on, we all know how this half is gonna end -- with a pick six and a Ralph Leap into the end zone stands by whoever gets the pick six.

Still coming to Arrowhead this year: Phyllis Rivers, Joe Flacco, carson palmer, Andy Dalton, peyton manning, Cam Newton, Andrew Luck.  Other than palmer, we done be in a shit ton of trouble.  And even palmer has his team tied at the two minute warning right now.

Dedes: "it's been a long time since the Chiefs put up a goose egg in the first half".  Yes, less than a year counts as a "long time".

Boss with a huge gain of 30.  And he's hurt.  His bell got rung big time.

Inadvertent hit by Bills guy, agreed.  Kudos to Bills dude for immediately calling for the trainers too.  This looks no bueno.

Belated personal foul.  That's horseshit.  On first down, Cassel to Breaston, blatant hold on Breaston.  First down at about the Bills 25.

No Charles.

Shaun Droughn?  Gets 3.  2nd and 7.

Christ, Buerelein just raised the point I've been making for 30 minutes -- where the hell is Jamaal Charles?

Cassel takes a shot, incomplete.  Not a bad try -- only Bowe could have caught that, and it was virtually uncatchable.

3rd and 7 at the 22.

Cassel takes off!  Gets to the one!  OK, do NOT fuck this up.  Put in Hillis, jumbo formation, and pound the damned ball four straight times until you get the yard.

Timeout Chiefs.  Uum, why?  Cassel does not look happy at this development.

What was that?!?!  Chiefs go three wide, fade to Bowe, incomplete.  Guys?  You're down 21!  Even Steve Buerelein is (correctly) RIPPING that playcall.

Hillis ... fumble ... Bills recover.

Buerelein: "I think Romeo is going to challenge this for sure".  Steve?  We're inside two minutes, and that was an endzone play, so he CAN'T challenge it.  Jesus.

Question from Yahoo: "has a coach ever been fired at halftime?"  Yes!  Ernie Zampeze was fired by Jerry Jones as the Cowboys offensive coordinator at halftime in the 1997 game against the Giants.

Ruling on the field stands.  Bills ball at the 20.  Romeo.  Crennel.  Football.

We're at the half.  I need a stiff, stiff drink.  Or five.  Back in fifteen.

Buerelein: "If I'm Romeo, I tell my guys, hey, you played a great first half last week".  Uum, Steve?  We were LOSING at halftime last week.  What's great about that?

Bills come out firing, incomplete.  2nd and 10 at their 20.

Screen pass for 6 to TJ Graham.  Who?  3rd and 4.

Incomplete.  Horrific throw.  Seriously, has a QB ever been booed off the field before while leading by 21?  Because Bills fans are booing Fitzpatrick off the field right now.

Chiefs ball near their own 30.  If Cassel doesn't manage a touchdown on this drive, it damned well better be Brady Quinn time.

Jamaal Charles for 2.  Gee, using our best player?  What a concept!

Pass incomplete.  Frankly, it should have been picked.

The English language has not yet developed a word to describe how wretched that last pass was.  Punt time.

Chiefs botch a golden chance to pin Buffalo inside the 5.  Touchback.  Romeo.  Crennel.  Football.

Bills fumble the handoff, and lose 15.  What was that?  2nd and 25 at their own 5.

Announcers curious as to why Gailey is still going full throttle.  Guys?  There is NO team in football he hates MORE than the Chiefs.  And justifiably so.

3rd and 18 upcoming.

Draw play buys punting room.  Arenas back for the Chiefs.

Arenas with a great return!  Chiefs starting at about the Bills 38.

Why is Cassel coming onto the field?

Cassel goes deep.  Incomplete.  Should have been picked, went right off the Bills defenders hands.

Seriously, why in the hell is Matt Cassel out there?

Cassel to McCluster for 9.

Pardon me, 10.  He got the first.

Hey, Buerelein can count to 12!  I would have wagered "no" on that prop bet, to be honest.

Cassel to Baldwin for close to 10.  Depends on the spot.

He got it.  1st and 10 at about the Bills 18.

Cassel to McCluster for 6.  2nd and 4 at the 12 upcoming.  The Chiefs have abandoned the running game.  That's another mistake in a long line of them.

Charles gets one on the sweep.  3rd and 3.

Cassel disgracefully sacked.  He's rattled.  He's scared to take a chance.  Bench his ass now.

What are we doing?  Why are you trying the field goal?  You're down THREE TOUCHDOWNS!

This is GUTLESS.

It's good.  21-3.  Disgraceful.

FYI, the largest comeback the Chiefs have ever mounted is 17 points, most recently at Indy last fall, probably most famously at Green Bay in 2003.

FYI, the Arizona Cardinals are winning at New England, 13-9, with 5 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter.  Just thought I'd mention that.

Spiller gets one, but a flag.  I'm guessing holding Buffalo.  1st and 20 upcoming.

Fitzpatrick to Chandler for 40.  Wide open.  Romeo.  Crennel.  Football.

On Twitter, even Gary Lezak is piling on Matt Cassel right now.  When the weather guy is pouring it on, it might be time to find another quarterback.  (In the interest of full disclosure, Mr. Lezak is a long-term season ticket holder in section 130.)

After a two yard loss by Spiller and an incompletion, its 3rd and 12.  Must stand here.

Stevie Johnson.  Untouched.  Wide Open.  Touchdown.  48 yards.  Fire.  Romeo.  Crennel.

And if Matt Cassel takes the field, I'm pulling the plug on this.  I cannot take any more of this sober.

I apologize that I was so optimistic in my pick for today.  I honestly thought the Chiefs could score a touchdown.

Arenas returns it to the 30.

Gee, Scott Pioli, random question: you think having $20.6 million in cap room and no Brandon Carr, instead of about $16 million in cap room AND Brandon Carr, was the right move?

Cassel to McCluster for 11.

Dedes: "Romeo Crennel is steaming on the Chiefs sideline!"  Yeah, right.

You know who's steaming, Spiro?  Every Chiefs fan who just saw that gutless throw by Cassel.  If that's not intentional grounding, I have no idea what is.

It is.  Loss of down, 2nd and 20.

Cassel's playing scared.  This is pathetic.  He's so scared of getting hit that he's throwing it a second early.

Cassel overshoots Baldwin by 10 yards.  Another flag on the Chiefs, this one for holding.  Declined, 3rd and 20.

Dedes: "What is going through Romeo Crennel's mind"?  I'll take "not a goddamned thing" for 400, Alex.

Bob Fescoe on Twitter: "gameplan for tomorrow's show: MELTDOWN 6-10am"

Dumpoff to Hillis, little gain.  Send in our 2012 MVP, Dusty C!

Touchdown, Bills.  Leodis McKelvin with a 85 yard punt return.  All you can do is laugh.  And drink.  Drink HEAVILY.

Vegas cannot set next week's line high enough for the Saints.  And I am fully aware they're down 15 right now, about to fall to 0-2.  We're losing by 60 in the Dome next Sunday.

Dedes: "Steve (Buerelein), it's still early in this game, but Kansas City looks psychologically CRUSHED on that sideline!"  Sadly ... there really is almost 20 minutes to play.

Danny Parkins on Twitter: "Chiefs are so bad even KU Football is making jokes"

Lezak: "Petro noted two biggest assets (in football) are head coach and QB.  We have a huge problem in KC".

Oh for Christ's sake, the CBS announcers are DEFENDING Romeo.

Hillis for four.  Cassel is still in, for reasons unknown even to the brain-dead patient on life support that isn't reading this.

Dedes describing that last play: "Cassel basically takes a knee as the Bills rush comes right up the gut".

3rd and 17.

HOLY CRAP!  Peyton Hillis on a delayed handoff got 18!

Cassel nearly intercepted.  Baldwin broke it up.

Shawn Droughn with an impressive run to the Bills 45.  Gain of 25.  1st and 10.

Bowe for 15 to the 30.  One play, maybe two, left in this quarter.

Quick note: if you know me at all, you know I have a tradition that whenever the Chiefs score a touchdown, the dog(s) get a treat, usually a Meaty Bone.  Been that way for years.  I currently don't own a dog ... but I am dogsitting for my brother this weekend.  Major has been staring at me for about 10 straight minutes, wondering "where's my treats at man?"  Sorry pal, field goals don't count, unless they're a game winner.

Cassel sacked to end the 3rd quarter.  35-3 Buffalo, 2nd and long upcoming.

Cassel gains about 4 on a scramble.  He's mentally checked out of this game.  He should physically check out as well.

Cassel incomplete.  He didn't even try.

Chiefs to punt.

FYI -- Cardinals 20, Patriots 9, 14 minutes to play.  AT FOXBORO!

Chiefs down it at the 3.

I hope Gailey RUNS UP THE SCORE.  He's earned it after the shitty way Pioli and Coach Asshat treated him three years ago.  It's another reason why I can't get mad over this -- I love seeing people who screw others over, then act smug and act like "what, what did I do wrong?", I LOVE when people like that get what they deserve.

And with one exception, I know of nobody who deserves a rude awakening more than Scott Pioli.

Fitzpatrick and Spiller still in the game.  Run!  It!  Up!

Gain of one on first down by Choice.

Choice gets six.  3rd and 3.

Jamaal Charles: 6 carries, 3 yards.  Hell yes, he started for team tito today.

Sign 5,000 you have quit: Choice gets six on an up-the-gut run where 8 different Chiefs get a hand on him.  1st down Buffalo.

Choice for 9 right up the middle.  Somebody get "Dandy" Don Meredith ready to chime in ...

Spiller gets 20 on an offtackle draw, and more pushing and shoving on the field.  Spiller: 15 for 123 and 2 TDs.  Hell yes he started for team tito today!

Steven St. John on Twitter: "The Chiefs should fire Todd Haley".  Ha!

Choice for two, 2nd and 8 at midfield.

Choice for three.  3rd and 5.

Incomplete on 3rd down, send in the punter.  Touchback.

8:39 to play.  And if there's a God, there's 8:39 remaining in Romeo Crennel's head coaching career.

Only two teams have yet to score a touchdown today: the Chiefs ... and stunningly, the Patriots.

Droughn gets 1.  More yelling and screaming after the play.

Droughn, that should be a first down.

I ask this seriously -- WHY IS MATT CASSEL STILL IN THIS GAME?  Yes, he's stunk today, but he's your starting QB!  You're down 32 with 7 to go!  Why risk the injury?  This is STUPID!

Bowe, and it's close to a first.  Depends on the spot.

Baldwin for about 25.  He pushed off, but the refs ain't calling shit at this point.  They want to get the hell out of this game as badly as I do.

Cassel to Bowe ... TOUCHDOWN.  Take THAT, New England!!!

GREAT camera pan to Dave Wannstedt, the Bills defensive coordinator.  He genuinely looked depressed at giving up points.  35-10 Bills.

Might as well practice the onside kick at this point.

Funniest text I've gotten in a while, from my brother, who's currently at a sports book on the Strip: "I had Bowe scoring first TD for Chiefs.  We're eating good tonight!"

Chiefs pooch kick, Bills take over at about the 16.

Tyler Thigpen enters the game for the Bills.  C'mon Chan, let him air one out!

3rd and 6 for Buffalo.

Bills to punt.

Cassel is still in the game.  I swear to God, if he blows a knee or suffers even an ankle sprain, I hope the media UNLOADS on Romeo for this NEEDLESS risk.

Hillis for 15.

Hillis for 4, incomplete to Bowe, then a screen to Droughn for 30.  Cassel took a hit but got up.

Good point on Twitter: have you EVER anticipated a post-game show MORE than Jack Harry and D Clink on 810 in 2:11 and counting?

Moeaki gets 9, 2 minute warning.  3rd and 1 at the Bills 31.

And with that, I'm done.  I made it 58 minutes.  Better than most would.  Plus I gotta figure out how to tune my brother's iPod radio deal to 810 ...

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the third thursday thirteen ...

"So you're dancing on the ocean -- Running fast, along the sand. A spirit born, of earth and water -- Fire flying from your hand...