Took from me.
And left me alone?
With only memories.
Through the mirror of my mind?
Through these tears that I'm crying?
Reflects a hurt
I can't control!
Because although you're gone?
I keep holding on!
To the happy time?
When you were mine!
...
Through the hollow of my tears?
I see a dream that's lost.
From the hurt?
That you have caused.
Everywhere I turn?
Seems like everything I see?
Reflects a love?
That used to be!
In you I put?
All my faith and trust!
Right before my eyes?
My world has turned to dust!
After all the nights?
I sat alone and wept?
Just a handful of promises?
Are all that's left, of loving you!
Reflections of?
The way life used to be!
Reflections of?
The love you took from me!
In you I put?
All my faith and trust!
Right before my eyes?
My world has turned to dust! ..."
-- "Reflections" by Diana Ross and the Supremes.
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13. Nebraskapalooza.
(Day One / Day Two / Day Three / Day Four)
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(stevo sighing a deep, deep, uuh, sigh, of disgust ...)
It truly stunned me. to realize how much of four years (in two cases) and a f*cking decade (in the other case) I invested in three people that eventually formed what came to be called "The Family". A former best friend, a former girlfriend, and the (trying to be polite ... trying to be polite ... trying to be polite ...) the reason for that trip to Nebraska.
Sh*t, those four years? Were perfectly recapped in four days, in early August 2011, in the farthest outposts of this country Nebraska is willing to claim as its' own.
(Pause).
Hang on.
(stevo proofing to make sure no foul words that begin with b, c, or (combined) m and f, appear in any paragraph above to describe anyone ... (pause) ... and we're good.)
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Once upon a time, there were "The Core Four" known as "The Family".
Those four started out as a threesome (known as "team tito" in our bowling league), that became a couple pairings ... and eventually, became a Foursome that (old school directv voice) "Channel 595" would be jealous of.
(Oh come on -- that kind of Foursome, never happened. I meant the four of us rarely if ever did anything without all four being involved. Jesus, clear your minds out of the gutter, people!)
The merge started innocently enough -- our first "family date" was to watch the BCS Title Game between OU and Florida, to close out the 2008 football season, on that incredible buy known as "The Couch". (A season that saw this happen ... again, from the "reflections of the way life used to be" files of sadness.)
--------------------
(Also, to this day, Dusti (no, not the Dusty referenced in this post) and I still laugh that Dusty (yes, that one) and I got that couch for $50 off of her and Jay (hey, I swear -- coincidence doesn't happen!) ten years ago.
I swear, that thing has to be to this day more comfortable than my mattress at home is ... and I make damned sure my sleep number is set at 75 before I pass out every night. "The Couch" was the best. Even if it ridiculously reeked of weed, Coors Light, and (chase voice) sex, when it met its' demise.
Also, back to the point.)
--------------------
Then came "The Interview" between me and "The Chica". To this day, it's the thing I respect the most about "The Chica" -- she refused to even sit at a bar and have a beer with "The Champ" alone, until she'd "interviewed" his "best friend" about who he truly was / is * . (Pause). What? (Pause). Yeah, I may have lied my ass off. What's your point? She bought it, didn't she? I mean, (sir elton john / dionne warwick voice) that's what friends are for, right?
Then came the first official date -- me and "The Champ" taking "The Chica" and "The Ex" to what became UUG's last Winter Blues Formal.
And then came the ensuing two years. Christ, I swear, at least 68.74% of the posts from early 2009 to late 2011, involved at least two, three, or four, of "The Family". Sh*t, the moment we were shaken to the core for the first time?
Became a tailgate when y'all did your damndest? To save us from ourselves.
--------------------
(*: this is an abject bullsh*t lie. The thing I admire the most about her, is that she wears the pants in that family. She has the balls to confront you, and call you out, when you're wrong ... and has the balls to stand there and take it, when she's wrong, and you call her out and confront her. If her husband had a pair as big -- if not functional -- as hers? None of us would "reflect" on the second half of this decade that was, as much as I do.)
--------------------
Then came more highs and lows. Too many to recall -- but they all involved at least two of the four of us. Eric Church's finest hour at Sandstone. Floater Uno from 2011 that, somehow, go figure, involved Brent. (I swear to God, that dude pops up in more memories in unexpected moments, than anyone. I also swear to God, this will really matter, when Number Two gets posted in about three weeks.) The worst day trip ever. The most memorable bachelor party ever. A week none of us will ever forget -- the first week of April 2010. A Duke national championship; a Mickelson Masters win.
So many more that I'm holding back, that will be reflected later in this look back at "The Decade That Was".
Most especially, this one *, come Number Two.
--------------------
(*: I know she's persona non grata at this point, but the Season Nine theme song from "Roseanne", perfectly sums up how I feel about that linked post, and those two years of my life, at this point.)
--------------------
And yet, in the interest of fairness? I don't truly regret any of those four years. Not even a little bit, not even at all.
Because sometimes? The past outweighs the present. Let alone the future.
And in this case?
It still does for me.
Because sometimes?
The reflection of what used to be?
Is worth the tears it forces you to cry.
--------------------
I know Nebraskapalooza was the moment I picked to reflect on for the most depressing post out of these thirteen (hey, get the unwinnable out of the way early -- I firmly believe in that) ...
... But to be fair, the first two weeks of August 2011 were one long string of memorable moments. Damned near fourteen straight days of "The Family" at its' best ... right before it was about to implode.
I encourage you to read the Nebraskapalooza recaps linked at the top of this post -- and if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, pull up my timeline to that first week of August 2011 to see the pictures, to go along with the posts. Those four days truly were a "reflection of" I will never forget, and will never view with anything other than fondness and pride.
But truly, for a two week run that began with the worst (pick one: visit or recap -- no, really: I believed in Jon Baldwin! -- to say nothing of this indefensible wrong -- no, really: I believed in Matt Cassel!) training camp a person could ever endure ... through a road trip to Nebraska that still makes me smile ... well, it had to end with a "wait, what the f*ck is this supposed to mean?!?!" night cap.
Because said night cap?
Was our final float trip together ...
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... And it inspired my favorite picture of us:
(from l to r: me, "The Champ", "The Chica", "The Ex". image credit: our neighbors that weekend. Also, sweet merciful Lord Jesus, the irony: the only one of us NOT smiling a smile of, uuh, at least faked happiness? Was me. #bashingmyheadagainstthedesk #repeatedly)
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Those who fail to learn from the past? Are doomed to repeat it.
But sometimes?
I think that's a good thing.
(Pause).
F*ck that.
I KNOW it's a good thing.
Sometimes.
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Next up is Number Twelve ... and this one is gonna be really fun, at least for me. Because as someone born to "bend the rules and break the law"?
Violating your own rules in life -- and then having to rethink, reorganize, and reorder them?
Is one damned fun exercise, eight years after the original posted.
Even if Stevo Rule 34 is still the single most accurate thing ever written about me, on any forum or platform, known to man ...
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