Last Week SU: 8-5-0
Season to Date SU: 62-41-0
Last Week ATS: 7-5-1
Season to Date ATS: 52-52-1
Last Week Upset / Week: no donkeys, no win.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 4-3-0
This Week's Upset / Week: I am riding this pony until it collapses, after being whipped to a frothy pulp, unable to stand, move, breathe, or exhibit any signs of life. (Yes, I am fully aware this is in Japanese, but come on, everyone has seen this sequence of scenes. And just watch the poor horse as the entire 10 minutes unfolds. The last horsie left in Atlanta ... and he keels over dead just as he reaches his ultimate destination. Poor guy. What a trooper! What a trooper! How did the special little guy not get an Oscar? One of life's great mysteries). Oh, my pick! denver +3 1/2 over Baltimore.
On to the picks!
* The "Good Times Game of the Week" award goes to ... at Lions (-4) 17, Rams 10. For newer readers, and as a refresher for those who've been getting my picks since the good ol' TA days, when the picks email was THE highlight of every football Friday afternoon, I am a huge, huge, hu-yuge fan of the show "Good Times". Absolutely love it. And every week, I used to designate the worst game on the board as the "Good Times Game of the Week", because any reasonable person would rather sit and watch 3 hours of "Good Times" than watch this clunker. This game, is the very definition of the "GTGOTW". A team that's lost 17 straight, and 21 out of 23, playing on the road against a team that's lost 28 of 30. Ain't we lucky we got 'em? (na na na na na) Good Times!!!
(sadly, a search of tvguide.com reveals that "Good Times" is not airing on any US broadcast channel on Sunday. Sorry, Lions and Rams fans. But you can relive the series finest moment. As someone who reacted to a very good friend's death the exact same way (no emotion to the point of getting asked "what the hell is wrong with you", then come unhinged when the finale rolls around), this one hit home).
* The "Maybe he should drop his pants and reveal himself to the team again" award goes to ... at Colts (-12 1/2) 45, 49ers 17. At halftime of his first game as the 49ers head coach last year, Mike Singletary infamously dropped his pants to reveal to his team the type of, uuh, testicular fortitude they needed to have.
(Personally ... and I say this as someone who, the last time he picked up a basketball, took 45 minutes to advance one spot in "Around the World". Even Kellie had me lapped by shot three. So maybe I'm completely out of touch with the modern male athlete, and simply cannot grasp what flows through his brain at any given time. But, if I was a player, watching my coach drop his pants, expose himself, and encourage me to play with cajones of his size, wouldn't motivate me to play better. I'm just saying. But that might just be me.)
Anyways, I mention this, because my little nephew is currently being potty trained. He's actually doing a pretty good job at it. But what's hilarious, is that he's addicted to pulling down his pants. He thinks the greatest thing in the world is to stand in the middle of a room, say "potty!" and drop his pants. Its funny stuff.
But what's really funny, is that he hasn't figured out yet how to get his pants back up. He hasn't mastered sliding it over the ass yet. So he tries a few times ... then gives up and just starts waddling around the room with his pants around his ankles, until someone helps him out. Classy stuff. Just like Mike Singletary, he's definitely the "life of the party".
(that, or he's going to become the first member of the family to let it all hang out in a prosperous career as an adult entertainer. Probably best to just move on at this point).
* The "Bring Back the Double Header Day" award goes to ... at Eagles (NL) 31, Giants 30. Not sure why USA Today has no line on this one, but I'll take the straight pick 'em when I can. What a day for sports in Philadelphia on Sunday. Eagles / Giants at noon, a lil' tailgating and a cheesesteak in between, and then Yankees / Phillies Game 4 with Cliff Lee on the mound. Good stuff. Speaking of good stuff ...
Beginning in the early 1990s, the best day of the summer was unquestionably the Double Header Day. Royals game at noon, Chiefs preseason game at 7, tailgate early, middle, and late. The last time we had a Double Header Day was 2003, and it has to rank in the top 10 days of my life. Anytime its 90 degrees at 10am, its my kind of day! Plus there were so many hilarious things that happened that day. You had Mike DiFelice start a brawl by tossing a Gatorade container and a trash can at Twins catcher AJ Pierzynski. This was the infamous "Tin Cup" tailgate as well.
I get that the last few years, construction at the Complex has made this day an impossibility. But next summer guys? When construction at Kauffman is done, construction at Arrowhead is virtually done? Let's not be cheap and stingy here in the interest of making a few extra bucks on parking. Bring back the best day of the summer!
(because any day in which you start drinking in that parking lot at 8am ... and are still drinking in that parking lot at midnight, is a winner in my book).
* The "What address should I mail the invite to?" award goes to ... at Packers (-3) 31, Vikings 27. Over / Under on number of "What a homecoming for Brett Favre" lines from Troy Aikman: 1,054. Over / Under on number of times Steve tosses something at the TV over the latest verbal fellating of Brett Favre: 1,093,938,743.
We all know Brett Favre has had quite a last couple years. From Green Bay, to Mississippi, to the swamps of North Jersey, back to Mississippi, and now to the Great North and the snows of Minneapolis. Impressive travel resume. I have a really good friend who is spending a couple years teaching overseas in Germany. Which is awesome, its an experience of a lifetime in and of itself. But in the last few months, these are just a small sampling of the other places she's been blessed enough to visit: the USA. Spain. Greece. Italy. India. And now, Brazil. Wow.
(my way of saying, I'm jealous).
* The "This Game Will Have Huge Playoff Ramifications Come December, Even Though Nobody Sees It Right Now" award goes to ... at Bills (+3 1/2) 20, Texans 17. With only 5 AFC teams currently being more than one game over .500 (and four of those 5 (NE, Cin, Indy, den) in as division winners should the playoffs start today), that means the last wildcard spot is wide open and up for grabs. You've got the Jets at 4-3, the Texans at 4-3. You've got the Ravens and Chargers at 3-3. And you've got the Bills at 3-4. Five teams battling for one spot, all within a game of each other at the midpoint. And two of them face off on Sunday. The winner gets a huge leg up in the race for January football.
* The "You Might Have a Drinking Problem If ..." award goes to: Jaguars (+3) 31, at Titans 10. Everyone remembers Vince Young's infamous drunk poses from a few years ago, raising the tequila bottle in the sky, inside some seedy nightclub, with no shirt in sight? (I remember it, because after laughing for five minutes, the next thought that crossed my mind was "wait ... if this was at Sandstone ... and it was Dave or 311 or Linkin Park ... oh sh*t, I've been that guy ...)
Anyways, you should have seen the tailgating group Sunday after the game. First, the booze was flowing freely and liberally early on. Most of us were feeling pretty good by the time we headed into the game. And then, it started raining. And after standing in the rain for a while, with the Chiefs down 30, everyone started heading back up to the bus. Only, not everyone headed out, so what to do? Sit around and drink! We drained every drop of vodka out of the 2 handles that started the day. Emptied the beer cooler. Somehow, we got back to Russ and Mona's. Which led to the inspired idea of sitting in the hot tub in the rain! (And drinking some more).
By the time the hot tub was maxed out, you had people passed out on a bed, on a couch, and on the floor. You had people falling down and needing assistance to walk. (And yes, you had nudity. You know a party's getting fun when the first thing someone does as they hop in the pool is take their suit off).
And yet somehow, everyone made it to work on Monday. Just goes to show you.
* The "It Actually Lives Up to the Hype" award goes to: broncos (+3 1/2) 28, at Ravens 26. I got "The Book of Basketball" by the Sports Guy last night. I've been looking forward to this thing all summer. As a NBA addict, the mere idea of a 736 page book devoted to the history of the sport from another addict's perspective, had me drooling with anticipation.
I'm currently through page 56 ... and I have yet to skip a word. A lot of books you read, especially early on when they're setting the plot, or whenever it hits a storyline you don't care about, you just flip past the section until you get to something that catches your attention again? I'm nearly a tenth of the way through this thing, and I haven't skipped a word. So far, this thing has exceeded even my ridiculous expectations for it.
* The "Wayne Allyn Root Game of the Week" award goes to ... raiders (+16 1/2) 16, at Chargers 9. The raiders have no quarterback, their head coach is attempting to dodge process servers coming after him with a civil suit for (allegedly) beating up an assistant coach, their defense is in shambles, and the highlight of last week's game was Jets QB Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sideline during the game. The Chargers enter having gotten back to .500, having blown out a bad Chiefs team, and having gotten the offense going with solid games from Philip Rivers, Vincent Jackson, Darren Sproles, and LaDainian Tomlinson. There is no, sane, rational reason to NOT bet San Diego.
Which is why I'm taking oakland outright. Wayne Allyn Root is one of Las Vegas' finest gambling gurus. Hosts a Saturday morning roundtable gambling show that used to be appointment television for me. He wrote a book called "The Zen of Gambling" that is a must read for anyone who enjoys putting a friendly (or not-so-friendly) wager on things. And one of the chapters is devoted to being a contrarian. How when everyone in the gambling public is betting one way ... ALWAYS bet the opposite. Because the gambling public, by in large, are idiots.
You saw this two weeks ago. 84% of the bets in Vegas, went on the Eagles to cover 14 1/2 over the raiders. 84%! The line is intentionally designed to ensure as close to 50/50 betting as possible, and 84% of the public looked at the raiders as two touchdown dogs, at home no less, and said "gimme Philly". We all know what happened. raiders 13, Eagles 9.
Just goes to show you. What. Huh?
* The "We Need to Exorcise a Demon" award goes to ... at Cowboys (-9 1/2) 34, Seahawks 13. I'm buying. Dallas looked really impressive to me last week, blasting a damned good Falcons team. I'm on board. They can win 10, maybe 11, and steal the NFC East.
But once they get to January ... holy Lord. The 1998 meltdown to the Cardinals. The 2003 defeat in Carolina. They lost to Seattle in 2006 on a botched snap on a 20 yard field goal as time expired. They lost in 2007 to the Giants on a 60 yard bomb with less than a minute to play. That's four tough defeats in the span of a decade.
But Seattle? What a decade of frustration!
Go back to 1998, when they missed the playoffs (and Dennis Erickson lost his job) on one of the WORST officiating calls in NFL history, when Vinny Testaverde was tackled at the two, but Phil Luckett ruled touchdown. It was a call so awful, that instant replay, which had been soundly defeated every year since 1990, was approved by a 26-4 margin that offseason.
And as if that isn't a kick in the nuts (yeah, we screwed up, but hey, at least your pain gives everyone else hope!), the Seahawks have lost not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR overtime playoff games this decade! I'm not sh*tting you, FOUR overtime losses! 2003 at Green Bay (The "We Want the Ball, and We're Going to Score" game. Man, I miss Bernie Kukar). 2004 against the Rams (who trailed 27-10 with 8 minutes left, yet won in overtime). 2006 at Chicago. 2007 at Green Bay again.
And the one year they broke through, 2005, the Super Bowl season, is widely regarded as the worst officiated game in NFL playoff history. Seriously, how do you top this on the gutshot level? Six epic postseason defeats in a decade! Probably a good thing Seattle isn't making the playoffs this year ...
* The "HyVee Employee of the Month" award goes to ... at Cardinals (-10) 34, Panthers 3. Kurt Warner famously stocked shelves for HyVee before Dick Vermeil gave him his chance to shine. Jake Delhomme appears to be well on his way to replacing him as shelf-stocking boy with his atrocious play of late.
(Yeah, I had nothing for this matchup).
* The "We're Only Showing This One in the Seventh Layer of Hell" award goes to ... at Bears (-13) 40, Browns 0. Actually, I have to hand it to the Browns fans. They've got a pretty solid protesting idea in place for the Monday nighter in a couple weeks.
(And cue the Steve pointless rant of the day):
Which of course, begs the question: how in the hell did the Cleveland Browns get on "Monday Night Football" this year? How in the hell does a team that went 4-12 last year, that was universally regarded as one of the bottom five franchises in football entering this year, that has one playoff appearance this decade, has lost 10 games or more 8 of their 10 years of existance, how in the name of everything I consider to be holy do they score a national TV appearance? And not just once! They're on twice! We not only have to sit through a 41-3 Ravens ass whipping in two weeks, we have to endure a 55-0 Steelers steamroll in December! How! How the hell does this happen! What network nitwit begged to put the Browns game on their airwaves? And have they been fired yet? This is worse programming than anything NBC is putting on the air, and they've got station managers from across the nation lined up with torches and pitchforks ready to lynch their programming department!
And please, spare me the "well, its because the Dawg Pound is so compelling, and the fans are rabid" excuse. That is absolute bullsh*t if that's the case. The Chiefs last appeared on national television in 2006, a Sunday night defeat in San Diego. Arrowhead is widely regarded as one of the two or three best home field advantages in the league. If ANY team's fanbase deserves a friggin bone for showing up and supporting a sh*tty ass product, its us! Cleveland on national TV twice. Jesus. I'm outraged. This is a friggin joke. To say nothing of their five national TV appearances last year during that "sensational" 4-12 season! Cleveland might have just moved ahead of oakland on my Hate-o-Meter. Actually, they have. cleveland is now no longer to be capitalized or used in a professional, proper manner going forward. Eff you cleveland. Eff you and the overrated ass clowns that masquerade as your fans.
(End Steve pointless rant of the day, today brought to you by Diet Coke and Baked Lays Southwest Ranch flavored chips. Baked Lays Southwest Ranch chips: now available at your local grocers everywhere in the continental United States!)
* The "Stewie Griffin Walking Behind a Fat Guy Playing a Tuba" award goes to: at Jets 31, Dolphins (+4) 28. If Norv Turner is known as Stanley Roper, then dammit, Rex Ryan is now Jake from "Jake and the Fatman". It fits, doesn't it? He's fat. He's obnoxious. I don't particularly like the guy. And yet, he's tremendously talented at his job. It fits the family profile. His dad was a fat, obnoxious (yet talented) coach I despised, best known for decking a fellow coordinator on the sidelines of a must-win season finale. His brother is a fat, obnoxious (yet talented) coach I loathe and despise, best known for the most talked-about lengthy hairdo since Fabio was a household name. Congrats Coach, on your new designation.
Finally,
* The "Line Is Way Too High" award goes to: at Saints 27, Falcons (+10) 24. Total overreaction to last week's epic comeback by New Orleans, and totally predictable defeat by Atlanta in Dallas. Total overreaction. You mean to tell me on a neutral field, that New Orleans is a 7 point favorite? I'm not buying it.
Enjoy the bye week. Enjoy the extra hour of sleep. Enjoy the forecasted 63 and sunny weather on Sunday. And like me, be really, really grateful that this month is over. November will be better! It has to be. It can't be any worse than October was ...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
surrender to mediocrity!
Mediocrity.
Its not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it leads to the best finishes imaginable in sports.
Think back to the 2006 Chiefs season, when an (at best) average Chiefs team needed not one, not two, not three, not even four, but five -- 5! -- incredible upsets in the last two weeks to sneak into the playoffs. Consider:
* We needed the Bengals to lose out (1) at denver, and (2) vs Pittsburgh. They lost in denver on a blocked extra point with :21 seconds left. They lost to Pittsburgh in overtime on a 67 yard touchdown bomb to be eliminated from playoff contention.
* We needed the Titans to (3) beat the Bills in Buffalo, and (4) lose vs New England. Trailing 29-20 entering the 4th quarter, the Titans proceeded to score the game's final ten points in a snowstorm, the final three via a field goal as time ran out. The next week, the Patriots, with nothing to play for, dropped a 40 spot in Nashville to eliminate Tennessee from playoff contention.
* But the motherload of all upsets, we needed denver to (5) lose at home to the 49ers. A 49ers team that had lost by 24 plus points four times already, including a 41-0 ass kicking at Arrowhead three months earlier. A 49ers team whose only two wins since week 10 had been against reeling Seattle. Somehow, someway, the 49ers rallied from down 13 to win in overtime, and send a Chiefs team that won out at oakland and vs Jacksonville (which eliminated the Jaguars from playoff contention) to the playoffs via tiebreaker over the broncos.
Fun finish. You can legitimately argue NONE of those squads had any business contending for the postseason, let alone qualifying for it. But sometimes, mediocrity pays off.
Which leads me to today's post ... the 2009 Big XII North.
Who the hell is gonna win this thing?
Here's your current standings:
Take a look again. NOTHING in this chart makes an ounce of sense. Beginning with:
* how in the hell is MU 0-3?!?! The two time defending division champs haven't been remotely competitive 8 of the last 9 quarters they've been on the field, giving up 27 to Nebraska to lose at home, getting waxed in Stillwater in the second half, and being used like the proverbial Johnny-on-the-Spot by the Longhorns last week. They've been outcoached, outplayed, out-everythinged.
And yet, once you see the remaining schedule ... you can make a legitimate argument they have the best shot of anyone to win this thing. At 0-3.
* how in the hell does Nebraska roll into Blacksburg, outplay Virginia Tech for 59 minutes before losing by one ... roll into Columbia, weather a storm (literally), and score 27 unanswered to seemingly grab a choke hold of the North ... and then get demolished at home by Texas Tech, and lose at home to Iowa State for the first time since I was in diapers? How does this happen? The WORST Husker team imaginable destroyed ISU at home!
Even more amazingly ...
* how in the hell is Kansas State leading this division? After losing by 52 in Lubbock?!?! Are you kidding me? You lose by 52 in your conference opener ... and three weeks later you control your own destiny? How is this possible?
Because of that magical word.
Mediocrity.
And it only figures to get better. Take a look at the remaining schedules for each team:
Three things immediately stand out at me:
1. Is this really MU's division to lose? There's no reason MU can't win out, none. They'll be favored in at least three of the next four, and always play KSU well, leading into a crapshoot at Arrowhead against KU, where the "lesser" team has won every game (MU was lower ranked in 2007, KU wasn't ranked in 2008).
2. KU has zero margin for error. They have to beat every North team left on the schedule to have any shot of reaching the Big XII Title Game for the first time, and if there's any upsets against the South by the other contenders, KU probably has to win this week at Tech.
3. KSU might go from midseason leaders, to missing out on a bowl. They're going to lose in Norman. The KU game is a toss-up, ditto MU. They should lose in Lincoln. From midseason leaders to sitting at home. Its not unrealistic.
My best guess? We're in for a four way tie at the top, with KU, Nebraska, MU, and Iowa State all finishing 4-4. And KU winning the North via a 3-0 head-to-head mark against the other opponents.
The only question is, which South power is going to win 50-10 in the Title game: Texas, OU, or Oklahoma State ...
Its not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it leads to the best finishes imaginable in sports.
Think back to the 2006 Chiefs season, when an (at best) average Chiefs team needed not one, not two, not three, not even four, but five -- 5! -- incredible upsets in the last two weeks to sneak into the playoffs. Consider:
* We needed the Bengals to lose out (1) at denver, and (2) vs Pittsburgh. They lost in denver on a blocked extra point with :21 seconds left. They lost to Pittsburgh in overtime on a 67 yard touchdown bomb to be eliminated from playoff contention.
* We needed the Titans to (3) beat the Bills in Buffalo, and (4) lose vs New England. Trailing 29-20 entering the 4th quarter, the Titans proceeded to score the game's final ten points in a snowstorm, the final three via a field goal as time ran out. The next week, the Patriots, with nothing to play for, dropped a 40 spot in Nashville to eliminate Tennessee from playoff contention.
* But the motherload of all upsets, we needed denver to (5) lose at home to the 49ers. A 49ers team that had lost by 24 plus points four times already, including a 41-0 ass kicking at Arrowhead three months earlier. A 49ers team whose only two wins since week 10 had been against reeling Seattle. Somehow, someway, the 49ers rallied from down 13 to win in overtime, and send a Chiefs team that won out at oakland and vs Jacksonville (which eliminated the Jaguars from playoff contention) to the playoffs via tiebreaker over the broncos.
Fun finish. You can legitimately argue NONE of those squads had any business contending for the postseason, let alone qualifying for it. But sometimes, mediocrity pays off.
Which leads me to today's post ... the 2009 Big XII North.
Who the hell is gonna win this thing?
Here's your current standings:
Take a look again. NOTHING in this chart makes an ounce of sense. Beginning with:
* how in the hell is MU 0-3?!?! The two time defending division champs haven't been remotely competitive 8 of the last 9 quarters they've been on the field, giving up 27 to Nebraska to lose at home, getting waxed in Stillwater in the second half, and being used like the proverbial Johnny-on-the-Spot by the Longhorns last week. They've been outcoached, outplayed, out-everythinged.
And yet, once you see the remaining schedule ... you can make a legitimate argument they have the best shot of anyone to win this thing. At 0-3.
* how in the hell does Nebraska roll into Blacksburg, outplay Virginia Tech for 59 minutes before losing by one ... roll into Columbia, weather a storm (literally), and score 27 unanswered to seemingly grab a choke hold of the North ... and then get demolished at home by Texas Tech, and lose at home to Iowa State for the first time since I was in diapers? How does this happen? The WORST Husker team imaginable destroyed ISU at home!
Even more amazingly ...
* how in the hell is Kansas State leading this division? After losing by 52 in Lubbock?!?! Are you kidding me? You lose by 52 in your conference opener ... and three weeks later you control your own destiny? How is this possible?
Because of that magical word.
Mediocrity.
And it only figures to get better. Take a look at the remaining schedules for each team:
Three things immediately stand out at me:
1. Is this really MU's division to lose? There's no reason MU can't win out, none. They'll be favored in at least three of the next four, and always play KSU well, leading into a crapshoot at Arrowhead against KU, where the "lesser" team has won every game (MU was lower ranked in 2007, KU wasn't ranked in 2008).
2. KU has zero margin for error. They have to beat every North team left on the schedule to have any shot of reaching the Big XII Title Game for the first time, and if there's any upsets against the South by the other contenders, KU probably has to win this week at Tech.
3. KSU might go from midseason leaders, to missing out on a bowl. They're going to lose in Norman. The KU game is a toss-up, ditto MU. They should lose in Lincoln. From midseason leaders to sitting at home. Its not unrealistic.
My best guess? We're in for a four way tie at the top, with KU, Nebraska, MU, and Iowa State all finishing 4-4. And KU winning the North via a 3-0 head-to-head mark against the other opponents.
The only question is, which South power is going to win 50-10 in the Title game: Texas, OU, or Oklahoma State ...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
the fine twenty five
I know there are still nine games left in this season. And depending on how you view the decade, there are either eight or nine games left in it.
But to be honest ... only two games right now have even an ounce of appeal to me remaining this season, the next two home games. Against the defending champion Steelers on Nov. 22nd, and against my most hated franchise in professional sports, the (insert lengthy string of obsenities here) denver broncos on Dec. 6th.
I have little doubt Pittsburgh will roll us on the 22nd. For some reason, we usually play well against denver, and I hold out hope we'll catch them napping and at least salvage some dignity out of this season.
So with nothing positive to really write about on the field this year, I decided to look back at my 25 favorite games in the 2000s. Some were wins, some were losses. Some were thrilling highs, some were excruciating lows. But all of them helped shape this abortion of a roster we have now.
Enjoy?
25. Week 5 2000: at Chiefs 24, Seahawks 17, MNF. Memorable for a few reasons. First, it was our first prime time game of the decade. Second, it marked our third straight win, after opening the 2000 season with 2 crushing defeats (vs Indy, in OT at Tenn). But most of all, its memorable for two reasons:
a. a memorable exchange at the players entrance between myself, Gregg, Jenni, and the greatness that is ... Ed Hochuli. Ed rolls up about 5:30, and we drop the "Sweet Jesus, its Ed Hochuli!" line. Ed, without missing a beat, looks up, laughs and says "is that a problem?" Ed came out to pose for some pics and give some autographs as well. But also ...
b. after a Seahawks apparent first down catch on a crucial third down, the sideline mics pic Gunther up dropping every swear word in the book. And Dennis Miller deadpans "wasn't me". The booth just erupted. Its one of the few times you'll ever hear Al Michaels lose it, but it was that damned funny.
24. Week 8 2002: at Chiefs 20, raiders 10. The Chiefs first win over oakland since November 1999. But no game was more, uuh, misreading of the 2002 season than this one. When this one was done, both were 4-4, but the Chiefs had won 3 of 5, all against teams that would finish plus .500; and the raiders had lost four straight, as both entered the bye.
The raiders didn't lose again, reeling off ten straight wins to reach the Super Bowl. The Chiefs finished .500, dropping 3 of 4 down the stretch to blow a playoff berth. But for one magical afternoon, we were better than oakland. That meant something 7 years ago.
23. Week 7 2006: at Chiefs 30, Chargers 27. I will always believe this is the best team Marty ever coached. The Chargers went 14-2, their only two losses coming at 13-3 Baltimore ... and at 9-7 Kansas City. Chiefs jumped out 17-0 before San Diego knew what hit them. The Chargers roared back. The Chiefs forced a punt with a minute to go, and calmly, methodically, Damon Huard drove the Chiefs into field goal range, where Lawrence Tynes nailed it from 48 ... only to have it called back on one of the biggest bullsh*t false start calls you will ever see. Neither announcer for CBS that day saw a flinch, let alone movement. But Tynes calmly, rationally, drilled it from 53 to save the Chiefs season, and ultimately provide the tiebreaking victory that meant Playoffs 2006 for the Red and Gold (it put us at 4-2 in the division, whereas denver went 3-3).
22. Week 15 2003: at Chiefs 45, Lions 17. Clinched the 2003 AFC Western Division title for the Chiefs.
21. Week 8 2004: at Chiefs 45, Colts 35. I'm actually stunned this one rated as low as it did in my listing. Arguably one of the 3 or 4 funnest games of the Vermeil era. Just like the playoff game earlier that January, neither team could stop the other. And for one final, brief moment, the Chiefs 2004 season was back on track, as this got us to 3-4, before the floor caved in via a four game losing streak.
20. Week 4 2005: Eagles 37, at Chiefs 30. I literally drank for two straight days after this defeat. Just stayed in my room and drank. In hindsight, however, you realize just what a great game this was. Chiefs jump out 17-0 and 23-7. Eagles score 30 unanswered, before the Chiefs score to pull within seven, and get the ball back with a chance to tie. The Eagles season would collapse after this, as TO melted down, but for an early October game, in the late afternoon FOX national game slot, this was a great one.
19. Postseason 2006: at Colts 23, Chiefs 8. Another defeat, and a horrendously embarrassing one at that, but one of only two playoff games the Chiefs played this decade. That has to count for something. That, and this was truly the last gasp of the solid Chiefs teams of the mid 2000s. The Chiefs would somehow get to 4-3 in 2007, but this was really the last stand of the teams Vermeil constructed.
18. Week 8 2000: at Chiefs 54, Rams 34. The Rams entered at 6-0, the Chiefs at 3-3. NOBODY gave KC a chance ... other than optimistic Steve, optimistic Gregg, and head coach Gunther Cunningham, who literally fainted from anger when, up 24-0, the Chiefs gave up points. This was an ass kicking of Biblical proportions, and I loved every damned second of it. You had Marshall Faulk so gassed from dealing with our defense that he puked in the huddle. You had Michael Cloud blocking punts. Warren Moon throwing 30 yard touchdown bombs to Sly Morris for crying out loud. And of course, Gregg's infamous, prophetic prediction to Kurt Warner that "your season ends today!" The Chiefs broke Warner's throwing hand, and he honestly has never been the same.
17. Week 4 2004: Chiefs 27, at Ravens 24, MNF. I definitely expected this one to be higher. The Chiefs entered at 0-3, the Ravens at 3-0. This might have been Dick Vermeil's finest hour as head coach. It was this one, or one that appears a little later on. We went into Baltimore, and completely manhandled the Ravens D. Ray Lewis drew three personal fouls because he got so frustrated going against our offensive line. Just an awesome, awesome game.
Also, sadly, the last game of a very missed era, as we lost a great one the next day ...
16. Week 9 2007: Packers 33, at Chiefs 23. Chiefs led this one 23-20 with 3:13 to play. Green Bay had 3rd and 6 at their own 39. Arrowhead was going absolutely bonkers. Somehow, someway, a horrendous Chiefs team had crawled to 4-3, was one defensive play away from going 3 up on denver and San Diego with denver coming in the next week ... and then, the play that literally ended the Chiefs as we knew them for 16 years (aka, a competitive, competent franchise).
Favre to Jennings. 61 yards. Untouched.
Huard tossed the pick six to Chuck Woodson on the very next play. Ballgame. Decade. The Carl Peterson era died that afternoon for all intents and purposes. For that reason alone, its in the memorable list. The Chiefs wouldn't win again for 12 more games. And have won only three times since.
15. Week 7 2002: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34 (OT). This game haunts me to this day. The Chiefs led 34-20 with 4:03 to play, facing 4th and 1 at the denver 22. Vermeil, like he stupidly did in the exact same situation in San Diego the week before, chose to kick the field goal. In this case, at least, it made some sense; if Morten Anderson had hit it, ballgame. Unfortunately, he had a horrendous wind into his face, and the kick wasn't even close. denver scored the last 17, including the final field goal after blocking a Chiefs punt, to cost the Chiefs the playoffs. To say I am still bitter about this game, well ... for five years, I refused to even call Dick Vermeil by his name, as a direct result of this game. Who says I'm not irrational and slightly deranged.
14. Week 14 2005: at Cowboys 31, Chiefs 28. Oh, the other great "what could have been" game of the decade. Had the Chiefs won this one, and God knows they had every opportunity to do so, we'd have been the last team into the AFC playoffs, instead of your eventual Super Bowl Champion Steelers. Still the best Chiefs road trip I've ever been on, still one of the funnest weekends of my life, it just sucks that it ended with the Chiefs collapsing in the fourth quarter, letting Jason Witten score with :16 to play to take the lead ... only to see Trent Green hit a 50 yard bomb to Dante Hall to give us a shot to tie ... only to see Lawrence Tynes not even come close from 41 at the gun. What could have been.
13. Week 5 2002: Chiefs 29, at Jets 25. THIS was Dick Vermeil's finest hour. Trailing 25-22 with less than 3 minutes to play, in my favorite NFL player's debut as Jets quarterback, the Chiefs calmly, methodically drove the field, and then, with barely :30 to go, the Chiefs went for the jugular and the win, rather than settle for the tie. "Priest Holmes! With running room! 10! 5! Touchdown! My oh my, Priest Holmes!" as Dick Enberg so famously put it. Yet another "what the ..." game from that confusing as hell 2002 season: this one got the Chiefs to 3-2, and dropped the Jets to 1-4 ... yet the Jets won the AFC East, and the Chiefs were on the outside looking in when it was all said and done.
(Just as an fyi, I'm looking at what's left ... and there's a ton of donkeys and raiders games left on this list ... including what I argue is the single most painful loss in franchise history ... even more so than Christmas Day 1971 in the longest game ever played to Miami, or my 21st birthday loss to denver ...)
12. Week 7 2003: Chiefs 17, at raiders 10, MNF. The end of dick gannon's career! Yay! (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also notable because (a) it got the Chiefs to 7-0, and buried the defending AFC champs at 2-5, and (b) the goalline "stand" against tim brown. I still have no idea how the hell he didn't get that final marques tuaisosopu heave across the goalline, but somehow, he came up an inch short. Incredible.
11. Week 1 2001: raiders 27, at Chiefs 24. The start of a new era, as Dick Vermeil, Trent Green, and Priest Holmes all made their Chiefs debut. Despite playing like dog crap for 3 1/2 quarters, the Chiefs somehow tied this thing up on the Golden Toe's field goal with less than a minute to go ... before the raiders did what they did back then, and janikowski nailed a 51 yarder as time expired to win it. Also notable because nobody knew what awaited less than 36 hours later, as football, and a new era in Kansas City, took a back seat to four airplanes hijacked coming out of Boston and Newark that fateful morning of September 11th ...
10. Week 13 2005: at Chiefs 31, broncos 27. "The Stand". What else needs to be said. 4th and 2, 2:07 to play. If the Chiefs had any hopes of reaching the playoffs, they had to stop denver. On first measurement, mike anderson got it. Only, for once, Mike White made himself useful, and convinced Dick Vermeil to challenge the spot.
In section 132, this (no longer self described!) hot as hell 29 year old was coming unhinged. It clearly showed anderson didn't reach the 47. Yet refs rarely if ever overturn the spot. Thankfully, Bill Leavy is no ordinary ref. For as much crap as the 2000s Chiefs defense took (virtually all of it deserved), they stopped denver when it counted, at least for one day anyways.
9. Week 4 2000: Chiefs 24, at donkeys 23. What a way to close down Real Mile High. By picking off gus fre"rotten" 5 times. Sacking him half a dozen more. By rallying from down 16-3 entering the fourth quarter, to taking the lead with 2:23 to play on a beautiful Elvis Grbac to Derrick Alexander bomb that nobody on denver bothered to cover. Say what you want about Gunther Cunningham as a head coach, the man went 4-0 against denver. That counts for something in my book.
8. Week 4 2008: at Chiefs 33, donkeys 19. Some of us saw this coming early. And then couldn't stop celebrating ...
7. Week 9 2005: at Chiefs 27, raiders 23. I still have no idea how we won this game. I remember, facing 2nd and 20 at the oakland 37 with a mere 17 seconds to go, thinking "just don't take a sack". Instead, Al Saunders called a screen pass to LJ, who ran untouched 36 yards to the oakland 1.
:05 to play. First and goal at the one. Down 23-20. What do you do.
Vermeil sent the offense out. I hit my knees. The only play that made even an ounce of sense there, other than taking the tie and going to overtime, was a quick strike to Tony G. Literally a one step drop, if he's not wide open, spike it 5 yards deep in the end zone, hope there's :01 left, and kick.
Instead, LJ ... untouched ... behind a hole so gaping wide, blown open by Shields and Richardson, that I could have at least had a chance to score on the play. Tears of joy. Season on.
(Really, in hindsight? The 2005 season might be the most underrated Chiefs season of my lifetime. Already, we've had four games from that season on this list, and there's two more I could have tossed on here (week 2 at oakland on a Sunday night; week 16 against San Diego in the snow). Interesting ...)
6. Week 17, 1999 (but played in 2000 ...): raiders 41, at Chiefs 38, OT. The single most costly loss in franchise history. I will argue to this day, that that defeat, cost the Chiefs not just a division, but cost us hosting the AFC Title Game, a legitimate shot at the Super Bowl, and of course, cost us Derrick Thomas. It marked the final nail in the coffin of the 90s Chiefs. It put oakland and Jon Gruden on the map, and set the tone for the next 3 years of football. But the game itself? Unbelievable. Neither team could stop the other. Tamarick Vanover returned one for a touchdown in his final game as a Chief. Combined, over 1,000 yards of offense. Just a great, great football game. Even if the loss still haunts the Chiefs to this day.
5. Week 4, 2002: at Chiefs 48, Dolphins 30. The funnest game of the Dick Vermeil era. We absolutely obliterated the Dolphins. Just destroyed them. In yet another "what the ..." game from the 2002 season. Miami would go on to tie for the AFC East, missing the playoffs on tiebreakers. This was one of those games, that you just had to be there to witness, to truly grasp how great it was. That, or relive Trent Green absolutely pancaking a Dolphins LB on Priest's third TD run of the day. He knocked him out. Call me crazy, but when your QB is knocking the other team's LB's out cold, he's got balls of steel.
4. Playoffs 2003: Colts 38, at Chiefs 31. There was really only one moment I believed we could win this game. Indy goes up 31-17 midway through the 4th quarter. They kick off ... and Dante Hall takes it to the house. Arrowhead is coming unhinged. I argued we should have onside kicked it there, given that (a) neither team had yet to force a punt, only a couple turnovers each, and (b) Indy would never see it coming with 8 minutes to go. Vermeil kicked it deep. Indy had 3rd and 6. I have only heard Arrowhead as loud as it was for that play twice in my life. The punt return by Vanover against San Diego, and the punt return coming up in game number 3. That joint was rocking.
And Manning hit Marvin Harrison for 8. The Colts wound up scoring, the Chiefs matched but couldn't hold, and the best Chiefs season of the decade was over. But if this was the high water mark of the decade ... well, it wasn't. There were three games better than this one. But still, not the best decade in franchise history, that's for sure.
3. Week 5 2003: at Chiefs 24, donkeys 23. There are some moments in life, that you remember exactly where you were when they happened.
Dante Hall, if you recall late 2002 / early 2003, had to that point returned 6 kicks for touchdowns in his last 9 games. And I had yet to witness any of them live.
Every time, I'd been in the bathroom, either at Arrowhead or at the house. The running gag on kick returns that fall was, in fact, "go pee! Please! Get out of here!" For this one, I stood in my spot. And saw the play of the decade in that stadium.
To field a punt at your 8, is stupid. To run backwards, into your own end zone, as one of the best special teams units in football chases you, with no blocking to speak of, is utterly retarded. To turn it upfield ... to outrun the ENTIRE coverage unit, and make the punter whiff at midfield as that stadium just erupts with emotion, is indescribable.
On the audio clip I still have of the game, there's actually a moment on the CBS broadcast, where they have to adjust the in-game audio. It is literally so loud, you can't hear Kevin Harlan and Randy Cross. They have to mute the crowd, its so loud in that stadium.
That's the Chiefs football I know and love. And that I want back.
2. Week 13 2006: at Chiefs 19, donkeys 10, Thanksgiving night. I have to admit, my top 3, I was juggling all afternoon thinking about the order to put these. I'm guessing a lot of folks would pick any of my top ten to be in the top 2, over these final two. But think back to 2006. Think of everything that went into this moment, into this game.
To lose Trent Green on Opening Day to a concussion that knocked him out for two months (and that he never fully recovered from). To open 0-2, then rally to 6-4, hosting the 7-3 donkeys, on the first game the NFLN ever broadcast.
I remember every damned detail about this day ... but none more than the final one. This recap is well worth the look back.
Again, that is Kansas City Chiefs football that I know and love. And that I want back again.
But the game of the decade, to me at least ...
1. Week 17 2006: at Chiefs 35, Jaguars 30. What is it that Dylan Thomas wrote once up on a time, you have to rage against the dying of the light? This was our rage. This was our final gasp of relevance. It also was amongst the best visuals imaginable (football in the snow kicks ass). It gave you the Immaculate Trifecta. If for one final day, the Chiefs mattered in this decade, what a way to go.
Again, these are the Chiefs I know and love. And that I want back. Sooner, rather than later ...
But to be honest ... only two games right now have even an ounce of appeal to me remaining this season, the next two home games. Against the defending champion Steelers on Nov. 22nd, and against my most hated franchise in professional sports, the (insert lengthy string of obsenities here) denver broncos on Dec. 6th.
I have little doubt Pittsburgh will roll us on the 22nd. For some reason, we usually play well against denver, and I hold out hope we'll catch them napping and at least salvage some dignity out of this season.
So with nothing positive to really write about on the field this year, I decided to look back at my 25 favorite games in the 2000s. Some were wins, some were losses. Some were thrilling highs, some were excruciating lows. But all of them helped shape this abortion of a roster we have now.
Enjoy?
25. Week 5 2000: at Chiefs 24, Seahawks 17, MNF. Memorable for a few reasons. First, it was our first prime time game of the decade. Second, it marked our third straight win, after opening the 2000 season with 2 crushing defeats (vs Indy, in OT at Tenn). But most of all, its memorable for two reasons:
a. a memorable exchange at the players entrance between myself, Gregg, Jenni, and the greatness that is ... Ed Hochuli. Ed rolls up about 5:30, and we drop the "Sweet Jesus, its Ed Hochuli!" line. Ed, without missing a beat, looks up, laughs and says "is that a problem?" Ed came out to pose for some pics and give some autographs as well. But also ...
b. after a Seahawks apparent first down catch on a crucial third down, the sideline mics pic Gunther up dropping every swear word in the book. And Dennis Miller deadpans "wasn't me". The booth just erupted. Its one of the few times you'll ever hear Al Michaels lose it, but it was that damned funny.
24. Week 8 2002: at Chiefs 20, raiders 10. The Chiefs first win over oakland since November 1999. But no game was more, uuh, misreading of the 2002 season than this one. When this one was done, both were 4-4, but the Chiefs had won 3 of 5, all against teams that would finish plus .500; and the raiders had lost four straight, as both entered the bye.
The raiders didn't lose again, reeling off ten straight wins to reach the Super Bowl. The Chiefs finished .500, dropping 3 of 4 down the stretch to blow a playoff berth. But for one magical afternoon, we were better than oakland. That meant something 7 years ago.
23. Week 7 2006: at Chiefs 30, Chargers 27. I will always believe this is the best team Marty ever coached. The Chargers went 14-2, their only two losses coming at 13-3 Baltimore ... and at 9-7 Kansas City. Chiefs jumped out 17-0 before San Diego knew what hit them. The Chargers roared back. The Chiefs forced a punt with a minute to go, and calmly, methodically, Damon Huard drove the Chiefs into field goal range, where Lawrence Tynes nailed it from 48 ... only to have it called back on one of the biggest bullsh*t false start calls you will ever see. Neither announcer for CBS that day saw a flinch, let alone movement. But Tynes calmly, rationally, drilled it from 53 to save the Chiefs season, and ultimately provide the tiebreaking victory that meant Playoffs 2006 for the Red and Gold (it put us at 4-2 in the division, whereas denver went 3-3).
22. Week 15 2003: at Chiefs 45, Lions 17. Clinched the 2003 AFC Western Division title for the Chiefs.
21. Week 8 2004: at Chiefs 45, Colts 35. I'm actually stunned this one rated as low as it did in my listing. Arguably one of the 3 or 4 funnest games of the Vermeil era. Just like the playoff game earlier that January, neither team could stop the other. And for one final, brief moment, the Chiefs 2004 season was back on track, as this got us to 3-4, before the floor caved in via a four game losing streak.
20. Week 4 2005: Eagles 37, at Chiefs 30. I literally drank for two straight days after this defeat. Just stayed in my room and drank. In hindsight, however, you realize just what a great game this was. Chiefs jump out 17-0 and 23-7. Eagles score 30 unanswered, before the Chiefs score to pull within seven, and get the ball back with a chance to tie. The Eagles season would collapse after this, as TO melted down, but for an early October game, in the late afternoon FOX national game slot, this was a great one.
19. Postseason 2006: at Colts 23, Chiefs 8. Another defeat, and a horrendously embarrassing one at that, but one of only two playoff games the Chiefs played this decade. That has to count for something. That, and this was truly the last gasp of the solid Chiefs teams of the mid 2000s. The Chiefs would somehow get to 4-3 in 2007, but this was really the last stand of the teams Vermeil constructed.
18. Week 8 2000: at Chiefs 54, Rams 34. The Rams entered at 6-0, the Chiefs at 3-3. NOBODY gave KC a chance ... other than optimistic Steve, optimistic Gregg, and head coach Gunther Cunningham, who literally fainted from anger when, up 24-0, the Chiefs gave up points. This was an ass kicking of Biblical proportions, and I loved every damned second of it. You had Marshall Faulk so gassed from dealing with our defense that he puked in the huddle. You had Michael Cloud blocking punts. Warren Moon throwing 30 yard touchdown bombs to Sly Morris for crying out loud. And of course, Gregg's infamous, prophetic prediction to Kurt Warner that "your season ends today!" The Chiefs broke Warner's throwing hand, and he honestly has never been the same.
17. Week 4 2004: Chiefs 27, at Ravens 24, MNF. I definitely expected this one to be higher. The Chiefs entered at 0-3, the Ravens at 3-0. This might have been Dick Vermeil's finest hour as head coach. It was this one, or one that appears a little later on. We went into Baltimore, and completely manhandled the Ravens D. Ray Lewis drew three personal fouls because he got so frustrated going against our offensive line. Just an awesome, awesome game.
Also, sadly, the last game of a very missed era, as we lost a great one the next day ...
16. Week 9 2007: Packers 33, at Chiefs 23. Chiefs led this one 23-20 with 3:13 to play. Green Bay had 3rd and 6 at their own 39. Arrowhead was going absolutely bonkers. Somehow, someway, a horrendous Chiefs team had crawled to 4-3, was one defensive play away from going 3 up on denver and San Diego with denver coming in the next week ... and then, the play that literally ended the Chiefs as we knew them for 16 years (aka, a competitive, competent franchise).
Favre to Jennings. 61 yards. Untouched.
Huard tossed the pick six to Chuck Woodson on the very next play. Ballgame. Decade. The Carl Peterson era died that afternoon for all intents and purposes. For that reason alone, its in the memorable list. The Chiefs wouldn't win again for 12 more games. And have won only three times since.
15. Week 7 2002: broncos 37, at Chiefs 34 (OT). This game haunts me to this day. The Chiefs led 34-20 with 4:03 to play, facing 4th and 1 at the denver 22. Vermeil, like he stupidly did in the exact same situation in San Diego the week before, chose to kick the field goal. In this case, at least, it made some sense; if Morten Anderson had hit it, ballgame. Unfortunately, he had a horrendous wind into his face, and the kick wasn't even close. denver scored the last 17, including the final field goal after blocking a Chiefs punt, to cost the Chiefs the playoffs. To say I am still bitter about this game, well ... for five years, I refused to even call Dick Vermeil by his name, as a direct result of this game. Who says I'm not irrational and slightly deranged.
14. Week 14 2005: at Cowboys 31, Chiefs 28. Oh, the other great "what could have been" game of the decade. Had the Chiefs won this one, and God knows they had every opportunity to do so, we'd have been the last team into the AFC playoffs, instead of your eventual Super Bowl Champion Steelers. Still the best Chiefs road trip I've ever been on, still one of the funnest weekends of my life, it just sucks that it ended with the Chiefs collapsing in the fourth quarter, letting Jason Witten score with :16 to play to take the lead ... only to see Trent Green hit a 50 yard bomb to Dante Hall to give us a shot to tie ... only to see Lawrence Tynes not even come close from 41 at the gun. What could have been.
13. Week 5 2002: Chiefs 29, at Jets 25. THIS was Dick Vermeil's finest hour. Trailing 25-22 with less than 3 minutes to play, in my favorite NFL player's debut as Jets quarterback, the Chiefs calmly, methodically drove the field, and then, with barely :30 to go, the Chiefs went for the jugular and the win, rather than settle for the tie. "Priest Holmes! With running room! 10! 5! Touchdown! My oh my, Priest Holmes!" as Dick Enberg so famously put it. Yet another "what the ..." game from that confusing as hell 2002 season: this one got the Chiefs to 3-2, and dropped the Jets to 1-4 ... yet the Jets won the AFC East, and the Chiefs were on the outside looking in when it was all said and done.
(Just as an fyi, I'm looking at what's left ... and there's a ton of donkeys and raiders games left on this list ... including what I argue is the single most painful loss in franchise history ... even more so than Christmas Day 1971 in the longest game ever played to Miami, or my 21st birthday loss to denver ...)
12. Week 7 2003: Chiefs 17, at raiders 10, MNF. The end of dick gannon's career! Yay! (kazoo voice) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also notable because (a) it got the Chiefs to 7-0, and buried the defending AFC champs at 2-5, and (b) the goalline "stand" against tim brown. I still have no idea how the hell he didn't get that final marques tuaisosopu heave across the goalline, but somehow, he came up an inch short. Incredible.
11. Week 1 2001: raiders 27, at Chiefs 24. The start of a new era, as Dick Vermeil, Trent Green, and Priest Holmes all made their Chiefs debut. Despite playing like dog crap for 3 1/2 quarters, the Chiefs somehow tied this thing up on the Golden Toe's field goal with less than a minute to go ... before the raiders did what they did back then, and janikowski nailed a 51 yarder as time expired to win it. Also notable because nobody knew what awaited less than 36 hours later, as football, and a new era in Kansas City, took a back seat to four airplanes hijacked coming out of Boston and Newark that fateful morning of September 11th ...
10. Week 13 2005: at Chiefs 31, broncos 27. "The Stand". What else needs to be said. 4th and 2, 2:07 to play. If the Chiefs had any hopes of reaching the playoffs, they had to stop denver. On first measurement, mike anderson got it. Only, for once, Mike White made himself useful, and convinced Dick Vermeil to challenge the spot.
In section 132, this (no longer self described!) hot as hell 29 year old was coming unhinged. It clearly showed anderson didn't reach the 47. Yet refs rarely if ever overturn the spot. Thankfully, Bill Leavy is no ordinary ref. For as much crap as the 2000s Chiefs defense took (virtually all of it deserved), they stopped denver when it counted, at least for one day anyways.
9. Week 4 2000: Chiefs 24, at donkeys 23. What a way to close down Real Mile High. By picking off gus fre"rotten" 5 times. Sacking him half a dozen more. By rallying from down 16-3 entering the fourth quarter, to taking the lead with 2:23 to play on a beautiful Elvis Grbac to Derrick Alexander bomb that nobody on denver bothered to cover. Say what you want about Gunther Cunningham as a head coach, the man went 4-0 against denver. That counts for something in my book.
8. Week 4 2008: at Chiefs 33, donkeys 19. Some of us saw this coming early. And then couldn't stop celebrating ...
7. Week 9 2005: at Chiefs 27, raiders 23. I still have no idea how we won this game. I remember, facing 2nd and 20 at the oakland 37 with a mere 17 seconds to go, thinking "just don't take a sack". Instead, Al Saunders called a screen pass to LJ, who ran untouched 36 yards to the oakland 1.
:05 to play. First and goal at the one. Down 23-20. What do you do.
Vermeil sent the offense out. I hit my knees. The only play that made even an ounce of sense there, other than taking the tie and going to overtime, was a quick strike to Tony G. Literally a one step drop, if he's not wide open, spike it 5 yards deep in the end zone, hope there's :01 left, and kick.
Instead, LJ ... untouched ... behind a hole so gaping wide, blown open by Shields and Richardson, that I could have at least had a chance to score on the play. Tears of joy. Season on.
(Really, in hindsight? The 2005 season might be the most underrated Chiefs season of my lifetime. Already, we've had four games from that season on this list, and there's two more I could have tossed on here (week 2 at oakland on a Sunday night; week 16 against San Diego in the snow). Interesting ...)
6. Week 17, 1999 (but played in 2000 ...): raiders 41, at Chiefs 38, OT. The single most costly loss in franchise history. I will argue to this day, that that defeat, cost the Chiefs not just a division, but cost us hosting the AFC Title Game, a legitimate shot at the Super Bowl, and of course, cost us Derrick Thomas. It marked the final nail in the coffin of the 90s Chiefs. It put oakland and Jon Gruden on the map, and set the tone for the next 3 years of football. But the game itself? Unbelievable. Neither team could stop the other. Tamarick Vanover returned one for a touchdown in his final game as a Chief. Combined, over 1,000 yards of offense. Just a great, great football game. Even if the loss still haunts the Chiefs to this day.
5. Week 4, 2002: at Chiefs 48, Dolphins 30. The funnest game of the Dick Vermeil era. We absolutely obliterated the Dolphins. Just destroyed them. In yet another "what the ..." game from the 2002 season. Miami would go on to tie for the AFC East, missing the playoffs on tiebreakers. This was one of those games, that you just had to be there to witness, to truly grasp how great it was. That, or relive Trent Green absolutely pancaking a Dolphins LB on Priest's third TD run of the day. He knocked him out. Call me crazy, but when your QB is knocking the other team's LB's out cold, he's got balls of steel.
4. Playoffs 2003: Colts 38, at Chiefs 31. There was really only one moment I believed we could win this game. Indy goes up 31-17 midway through the 4th quarter. They kick off ... and Dante Hall takes it to the house. Arrowhead is coming unhinged. I argued we should have onside kicked it there, given that (a) neither team had yet to force a punt, only a couple turnovers each, and (b) Indy would never see it coming with 8 minutes to go. Vermeil kicked it deep. Indy had 3rd and 6. I have only heard Arrowhead as loud as it was for that play twice in my life. The punt return by Vanover against San Diego, and the punt return coming up in game number 3. That joint was rocking.
And Manning hit Marvin Harrison for 8. The Colts wound up scoring, the Chiefs matched but couldn't hold, and the best Chiefs season of the decade was over. But if this was the high water mark of the decade ... well, it wasn't. There were three games better than this one. But still, not the best decade in franchise history, that's for sure.
3. Week 5 2003: at Chiefs 24, donkeys 23. There are some moments in life, that you remember exactly where you were when they happened.
Dante Hall, if you recall late 2002 / early 2003, had to that point returned 6 kicks for touchdowns in his last 9 games. And I had yet to witness any of them live.
Every time, I'd been in the bathroom, either at Arrowhead or at the house. The running gag on kick returns that fall was, in fact, "go pee! Please! Get out of here!" For this one, I stood in my spot. And saw the play of the decade in that stadium.
To field a punt at your 8, is stupid. To run backwards, into your own end zone, as one of the best special teams units in football chases you, with no blocking to speak of, is utterly retarded. To turn it upfield ... to outrun the ENTIRE coverage unit, and make the punter whiff at midfield as that stadium just erupts with emotion, is indescribable.
On the audio clip I still have of the game, there's actually a moment on the CBS broadcast, where they have to adjust the in-game audio. It is literally so loud, you can't hear Kevin Harlan and Randy Cross. They have to mute the crowd, its so loud in that stadium.
That's the Chiefs football I know and love. And that I want back.
2. Week 13 2006: at Chiefs 19, donkeys 10, Thanksgiving night. I have to admit, my top 3, I was juggling all afternoon thinking about the order to put these. I'm guessing a lot of folks would pick any of my top ten to be in the top 2, over these final two. But think back to 2006. Think of everything that went into this moment, into this game.
To lose Trent Green on Opening Day to a concussion that knocked him out for two months (and that he never fully recovered from). To open 0-2, then rally to 6-4, hosting the 7-3 donkeys, on the first game the NFLN ever broadcast.
I remember every damned detail about this day ... but none more than the final one. This recap is well worth the look back.
Again, that is Kansas City Chiefs football that I know and love. And that I want back again.
But the game of the decade, to me at least ...
1. Week 17 2006: at Chiefs 35, Jaguars 30. What is it that Dylan Thomas wrote once up on a time, you have to rage against the dying of the light? This was our rage. This was our final gasp of relevance. It also was amongst the best visuals imaginable (football in the snow kicks ass). It gave you the Immaculate Trifecta. If for one final day, the Chiefs mattered in this decade, what a way to go.
Again, these are the Chiefs I know and love. And that I want back. Sooner, rather than later ...
Monday, October 26, 2009
chiefs! chargers! aye caramba ...
Anytime you can witness your favorite college team, and your favorite professional team, get blown out in their home stadium within 24 hours of each other ... well, pass the vodka and let's recap this.
* the alarm went off at 5:45am. I literally swore as I stumbled out of bed to turn it off. Chiefs 2009: Where Steve Not Wanting To Attend Happens!
* and yes, if the rain had started 4 hours earlier, I would not have gone yesterday. I spent a week in bed two weeks ago with the flu. I didn't want to risk it again. (That, and I only have 9 1/2 PTO days left, and I intend to show up as little as possible in December. Because why get up, get dressed, and freeze trying to defrost the car when you can instead sleep in, fire up "90210" and "One Tree Hill" on SoapNet, and spend the day in bed when its -2 and snowing? Sometimes, I think I'm a genius).
* It was actually really comfortable this weekend to be outside. I overdressed for KU by wearing pants. I actually overdressed yesterday by wearing two sweatshirts. Which turned out to be a good thing since Katie only wore a t-shirt in, and needed something warmer once the rain started. Speaking of which ...
* For all the crap I take for never wearing a coat, and wearing that Chiefs Puma sweatshirt that is from Gunther's first season ... well, from the postgame:
(steve) so you were warm enough?
(katie) yeah, it was really warm actually.
I know everyone meant well by telling me to "bundle up", "wear a coat", yada yada yada ... but trust me, I've been wearing that sweatshirt for 11 years. It more than does the job that a coat does.
* Very small bus crew yesterday. I believe I counted 5 folks. The 132 Foursome, and Tyler. Katie and Will were there before the gates opened, and Tony and his son were as well, but still, the die-hards are bailing fast on this season.
* Early congratulations to, well, me, for ending my seemingly eternal losing streak at washers! Yay! (Of course, the fact that Dusty never showed up probably had a lot to do with the losing streak ending at 1,042).
* Charger chicken! Tyler took over the duties this year. Outstanding job. Ditto to the white spaghetti and the dirty rice mix. Good grief, no wonder I'm out of shape.
* Here's what I don't get about Chiefs schedule 2009. We now will go 28 days -- 28 days! -- between home games. Bye, then two roadies, before hosting Pittsburgh on November 22nd. Which I'm fine with. I'd rather play 5 of the first 8 at home given my hatred of the cold. But please, can ANYONE rationally explain to me how in the hell a team playing in a city where the AVERAGE December high is 17 degrees, scores not one, not two, but THREE straight home games in December? And still has two roadies after that stretch?
No home games for a month when its 55 every day. 3 in 15 days when its 17. The NFL: Where Asinine Scheduling Happens!
* Drew! Always good times when the brother shows up, beer(s) in hand.
* the jello shots were rock solid as always. The mamossas were flowing early and often. Ditto the screwdrivers. The lesson? Well, to quote Hawk Football t-shirts from Joe College, "Win or Lose? We'll Still Booze!" Too bad both my teams seem to prefer losing at this point.
* Jasson! I'd be lying if I said I remembered the last time that guy showed up for a tailgate.
* Brent! Holy Lord, is this three confirmed sightings of Mr. Snyder at Arrowhead this year? That's like three more than I can confirm over the last decade. Actually, two more, he did show up for the Redskins game in 2005 with all his North Carolina folks.
* Gregg! Wait, that's a weekly occurrance. The next time that guy misses a game will be the first since ... uuh ... (steve scratching head ...) uuh ... (steve searching 1980s schedules ...)
* Mark! This guy is just comedic gold. We need him to come back more often. If only for the fact that he's Dusteve without the filter. Seriously, this guy is just ... he's golden.
* The anthem chick wasn't half bad. She's no Ida McBeth, but not half bad.
* What is half bad, or totally bad, is this Rumble sh*t they keep dumping on us each week. Really? Raise your hand if you wanted a bunch of drummers standing at midfield acting like a deusche at each home game. (crickets chirping ...) Here's a thought Scott Pioli, and I chanted it every time this Rumble crap took the field yesterday. Bring Back DiParto! Bring Back DiParto! If you want a band, great! I'm all for it! Bring back the one you just kicked to the curb!
* The pre-game flyover did absolutely nothing for me. The halftime flyover, on the other hand ... well, let's wait until I get to the halftime recap.
* The 20 minutes between 11:40 and kickoff, the weather did a 180. The temperature really didn't drop a whole lot ... but you went from sunny skies to threatening dark clouds almost at a moment's notice. It ... yeah, it sucked.
* For the record, I completely and totally supported going for it on 4th and 1 at our 41 in the first quarter. I personally believe you should NEVER punt on 4th and 1, unless you are inside your own 25. (Most NFL kickers are automatic, barring weather conditions, from 42 yards in, so going for 4th and 1 inside your own 25, if you fail, you're conceding 3 points).
* And for the record, I honestly thought the 3 quarters of football I watched yesterday, was the best coaching effort Todd Haley has delivered so far. The play calling was spot on (the execution wasn't however). Haley dialed in the common sense game plan yesterday, and I loved it. The only thing he effed up was the timeout with 1:07 to go in the half. Down 17-0, in field goal range on 4th down, BLEED THE CLOCK! We should have taken the play clock down to :02, which would have left about :30 on the clock. Then, even if you miss (as Succup did, from 44), the Chargers don't have enough time to drive the field (as they did) and add points onto the board (as they did).
* OK, halftime. I have to be fair here, in the interest of full disclosure. My absolute favorite moment each year, at a sporting event, and I hate to call it my "favorite moment" but man, it just gets to you ... is when someone from the Purdue Marching Band plays "Taps" at the Indy 500 prerace, as the names of the heroes, the best and brightest and most incredible among us, from Indiana who gave the ultimate sacrifice, play on the video boards. Its a simple ceremony. Its a guy with a trumpet, playing a very recognizable song, as names scroll.
And there isn't a sound in the joint. 350,000 plus fall instantly silent. Paying honor and tribute to, again, the best and the bravest and the finest among us. I have been to Indy a few times in my day ... and this NEVER fails to bring tears to my eyes.
Sunday, the Chiefs announced their plans to honor our soldiers, as they always do during the home game closest to Veterans Day. Its a neat tradition, its an awesome tradition actually, and its why I agree with Mitch Holtgus that the Chiefs should have the Monday nighter before Veterans Day in Arrowhead every year, without exception, without fail, like the Thanksgiving games in Dallas and Detroit, and the defending champ opening in the Thursday nighter at home. When you do something right, reward it.
Under Carl, these things were always emotional, always tore at the heart strings. Yesterday though, was taking it to a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure I've never cried because of a halftime performance. I know I've cried at halftime a couple times due to memories of those no longer with us. But I have never been moved to tears by the performance.
It opened with a group of Army troops carrying and unfolding a large US Flag near midfield. Cue Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue", just an awesome song. Cue other pro-military songs as well.
What I wasn't prepared for ... was listing on the new wrap-around screens the name of every US serviceman from the Chiefs Kingdom who gave his or her life last year. Nearly ten straight minutes of silent tribute. It kind of reminded me of "Taps" at Indy, in that most of the stadium just went silent, other than the occasional clapping when it was someone they recognized. I personally just stood, hands in my shorts, with tears running down my cheeks. I didn't move for the entire performance. Until the very end.
(And I can't believe I'm about to type this ...)
When the stealths flew over.
I just raised the right fist into the sky, started pumping it, joining the faithful in screaming "woo!" and cheering it on. I am on record as calling flyovers the "single biggest waste of taxpayer dollars known to man". Yesterday ... I'm glad it happened. (Although why we needed two of them ...)
* The rain really started falling after the halftime performance. Thankfully it wasn't brutally cold. I can deal with a semi-steady rain when its 60 degrees out.
* I texted everyone on my usual game text list at halftime yesterday that "Chiefs win 27-23". I thought the emotion of the halftime, the adjustments, and the Norv Turner factor would work in our favor.
* The first drive of the second half, as I texted a few folks, was Todd Haley at his finest. That was just a brilliant, brilliant drive for the Chiefs and their (at least on this site) beleagured play caller. Haley grasped the situation (have to get 7). He adapted the play calling for that. On 3rd down, we didn't have to get the first, because we'd already decided to go on 4th down. So on 3rd and 5, you got a trap play to LJ for 4. (And the follow-up handoff for first down). On 3rd and 8, you got a screen for 6. (And the follow-up first down). Just brilliant. Yesterday, for the first time, I was fine with Todd Haley as a head coach.
* Chiefs get it to 20-7 on a 4th down play to D Bowe in the corner of the end zone. After seeing the replay, I get why SD didn't challenge ... but in that spot, given how shaky the catch looked, how could Norv Turner NOT challenge? Momentum was starting to turn. Norv could have ended it before it ever had a chance. Dumb no-challenge on his part.
* The one moment you could sense the stadium was ready, was after D Bowe's TD, we forced the three and out and got the ball back at our own 45. There was some optimism, some hope. Sadly, the Chiefs ... well, played like the Chiefs of the last few years, and wound up punting. A pathetic wide-open RB dump-off to Darren Sproles for a 58 yard touchdown later, and it was lights out. I left after that. No sense sticking around in the rain for a team that lets a backup running back run untouched 58 yards for a touchdown.
* Not many highlights to report post game. Headed back to Russ and Mona's, watched most of the Cowboys game. Sat in the hot tub for a while -- I'd forgotten how sweet the hot tub feels when its raining and 50 outside. I used to love to sit in the old hot tub when it was raining or snowing. It always felt amazing. It still does.
* Most amazingly ... I made it into work on a Monday after a game for the first time this year. Only to find an email from my old boss, informing me that "deadbeat ex roommate" got married this weekend, and asking if I went.
Uuh, that would be a no. Even if I'd been invited, I wouldn't have gone. I'll just simply state on this blog, as I did in my email reply, that I believe in karma. I believe, as the Beatles sang to close out the final album they ever released, that "in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make". I believe that someday, "deadbeat ex roommate" will get out of life what he deserves from it. Until that happens, I guess I just wait to spit in his coffin at the funeral. Somehow, I doubt I'll be the only one ready to hawk a loogie in his direction when that day arrives ...
* the alarm went off at 5:45am. I literally swore as I stumbled out of bed to turn it off. Chiefs 2009: Where Steve Not Wanting To Attend Happens!
* and yes, if the rain had started 4 hours earlier, I would not have gone yesterday. I spent a week in bed two weeks ago with the flu. I didn't want to risk it again. (That, and I only have 9 1/2 PTO days left, and I intend to show up as little as possible in December. Because why get up, get dressed, and freeze trying to defrost the car when you can instead sleep in, fire up "90210" and "One Tree Hill" on SoapNet, and spend the day in bed when its -2 and snowing? Sometimes, I think I'm a genius).
* It was actually really comfortable this weekend to be outside. I overdressed for KU by wearing pants. I actually overdressed yesterday by wearing two sweatshirts. Which turned out to be a good thing since Katie only wore a t-shirt in, and needed something warmer once the rain started. Speaking of which ...
* For all the crap I take for never wearing a coat, and wearing that Chiefs Puma sweatshirt that is from Gunther's first season ... well, from the postgame:
(steve) so you were warm enough?
(katie) yeah, it was really warm actually.
I know everyone meant well by telling me to "bundle up", "wear a coat", yada yada yada ... but trust me, I've been wearing that sweatshirt for 11 years. It more than does the job that a coat does.
* Very small bus crew yesterday. I believe I counted 5 folks. The 132 Foursome, and Tyler. Katie and Will were there before the gates opened, and Tony and his son were as well, but still, the die-hards are bailing fast on this season.
* Early congratulations to, well, me, for ending my seemingly eternal losing streak at washers! Yay! (Of course, the fact that Dusty never showed up probably had a lot to do with the losing streak ending at 1,042).
* Charger chicken! Tyler took over the duties this year. Outstanding job. Ditto to the white spaghetti and the dirty rice mix. Good grief, no wonder I'm out of shape.
* Here's what I don't get about Chiefs schedule 2009. We now will go 28 days -- 28 days! -- between home games. Bye, then two roadies, before hosting Pittsburgh on November 22nd. Which I'm fine with. I'd rather play 5 of the first 8 at home given my hatred of the cold. But please, can ANYONE rationally explain to me how in the hell a team playing in a city where the AVERAGE December high is 17 degrees, scores not one, not two, but THREE straight home games in December? And still has two roadies after that stretch?
No home games for a month when its 55 every day. 3 in 15 days when its 17. The NFL: Where Asinine Scheduling Happens!
* Drew! Always good times when the brother shows up, beer(s) in hand.
* the jello shots were rock solid as always. The mamossas were flowing early and often. Ditto the screwdrivers. The lesson? Well, to quote Hawk Football t-shirts from Joe College, "Win or Lose? We'll Still Booze!" Too bad both my teams seem to prefer losing at this point.
* Jasson! I'd be lying if I said I remembered the last time that guy showed up for a tailgate.
* Brent! Holy Lord, is this three confirmed sightings of Mr. Snyder at Arrowhead this year? That's like three more than I can confirm over the last decade. Actually, two more, he did show up for the Redskins game in 2005 with all his North Carolina folks.
* Gregg! Wait, that's a weekly occurrance. The next time that guy misses a game will be the first since ... uuh ... (steve scratching head ...) uuh ... (steve searching 1980s schedules ...)
* Mark! This guy is just comedic gold. We need him to come back more often. If only for the fact that he's Dusteve without the filter. Seriously, this guy is just ... he's golden.
* The anthem chick wasn't half bad. She's no Ida McBeth, but not half bad.
* What is half bad, or totally bad, is this Rumble sh*t they keep dumping on us each week. Really? Raise your hand if you wanted a bunch of drummers standing at midfield acting like a deusche at each home game. (crickets chirping ...) Here's a thought Scott Pioli, and I chanted it every time this Rumble crap took the field yesterday. Bring Back DiParto! Bring Back DiParto! If you want a band, great! I'm all for it! Bring back the one you just kicked to the curb!
* The pre-game flyover did absolutely nothing for me. The halftime flyover, on the other hand ... well, let's wait until I get to the halftime recap.
* The 20 minutes between 11:40 and kickoff, the weather did a 180. The temperature really didn't drop a whole lot ... but you went from sunny skies to threatening dark clouds almost at a moment's notice. It ... yeah, it sucked.
* For the record, I completely and totally supported going for it on 4th and 1 at our 41 in the first quarter. I personally believe you should NEVER punt on 4th and 1, unless you are inside your own 25. (Most NFL kickers are automatic, barring weather conditions, from 42 yards in, so going for 4th and 1 inside your own 25, if you fail, you're conceding 3 points).
* And for the record, I honestly thought the 3 quarters of football I watched yesterday, was the best coaching effort Todd Haley has delivered so far. The play calling was spot on (the execution wasn't however). Haley dialed in the common sense game plan yesterday, and I loved it. The only thing he effed up was the timeout with 1:07 to go in the half. Down 17-0, in field goal range on 4th down, BLEED THE CLOCK! We should have taken the play clock down to :02, which would have left about :30 on the clock. Then, even if you miss (as Succup did, from 44), the Chargers don't have enough time to drive the field (as they did) and add points onto the board (as they did).
* OK, halftime. I have to be fair here, in the interest of full disclosure. My absolute favorite moment each year, at a sporting event, and I hate to call it my "favorite moment" but man, it just gets to you ... is when someone from the Purdue Marching Band plays "Taps" at the Indy 500 prerace, as the names of the heroes, the best and brightest and most incredible among us, from Indiana who gave the ultimate sacrifice, play on the video boards. Its a simple ceremony. Its a guy with a trumpet, playing a very recognizable song, as names scroll.
And there isn't a sound in the joint. 350,000 plus fall instantly silent. Paying honor and tribute to, again, the best and the bravest and the finest among us. I have been to Indy a few times in my day ... and this NEVER fails to bring tears to my eyes.
Sunday, the Chiefs announced their plans to honor our soldiers, as they always do during the home game closest to Veterans Day. Its a neat tradition, its an awesome tradition actually, and its why I agree with Mitch Holtgus that the Chiefs should have the Monday nighter before Veterans Day in Arrowhead every year, without exception, without fail, like the Thanksgiving games in Dallas and Detroit, and the defending champ opening in the Thursday nighter at home. When you do something right, reward it.
Under Carl, these things were always emotional, always tore at the heart strings. Yesterday though, was taking it to a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure I've never cried because of a halftime performance. I know I've cried at halftime a couple times due to memories of those no longer with us. But I have never been moved to tears by the performance.
It opened with a group of Army troops carrying and unfolding a large US Flag near midfield. Cue Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue", just an awesome song. Cue other pro-military songs as well.
What I wasn't prepared for ... was listing on the new wrap-around screens the name of every US serviceman from the Chiefs Kingdom who gave his or her life last year. Nearly ten straight minutes of silent tribute. It kind of reminded me of "Taps" at Indy, in that most of the stadium just went silent, other than the occasional clapping when it was someone they recognized. I personally just stood, hands in my shorts, with tears running down my cheeks. I didn't move for the entire performance. Until the very end.
(And I can't believe I'm about to type this ...)
When the stealths flew over.
I just raised the right fist into the sky, started pumping it, joining the faithful in screaming "woo!" and cheering it on. I am on record as calling flyovers the "single biggest waste of taxpayer dollars known to man". Yesterday ... I'm glad it happened. (Although why we needed two of them ...)
* The rain really started falling after the halftime performance. Thankfully it wasn't brutally cold. I can deal with a semi-steady rain when its 60 degrees out.
* I texted everyone on my usual game text list at halftime yesterday that "Chiefs win 27-23". I thought the emotion of the halftime, the adjustments, and the Norv Turner factor would work in our favor.
* The first drive of the second half, as I texted a few folks, was Todd Haley at his finest. That was just a brilliant, brilliant drive for the Chiefs and their (at least on this site) beleagured play caller. Haley grasped the situation (have to get 7). He adapted the play calling for that. On 3rd down, we didn't have to get the first, because we'd already decided to go on 4th down. So on 3rd and 5, you got a trap play to LJ for 4. (And the follow-up handoff for first down). On 3rd and 8, you got a screen for 6. (And the follow-up first down). Just brilliant. Yesterday, for the first time, I was fine with Todd Haley as a head coach.
* Chiefs get it to 20-7 on a 4th down play to D Bowe in the corner of the end zone. After seeing the replay, I get why SD didn't challenge ... but in that spot, given how shaky the catch looked, how could Norv Turner NOT challenge? Momentum was starting to turn. Norv could have ended it before it ever had a chance. Dumb no-challenge on his part.
* The one moment you could sense the stadium was ready, was after D Bowe's TD, we forced the three and out and got the ball back at our own 45. There was some optimism, some hope. Sadly, the Chiefs ... well, played like the Chiefs of the last few years, and wound up punting. A pathetic wide-open RB dump-off to Darren Sproles for a 58 yard touchdown later, and it was lights out. I left after that. No sense sticking around in the rain for a team that lets a backup running back run untouched 58 yards for a touchdown.
* Not many highlights to report post game. Headed back to Russ and Mona's, watched most of the Cowboys game. Sat in the hot tub for a while -- I'd forgotten how sweet the hot tub feels when its raining and 50 outside. I used to love to sit in the old hot tub when it was raining or snowing. It always felt amazing. It still does.
* Most amazingly ... I made it into work on a Monday after a game for the first time this year. Only to find an email from my old boss, informing me that "deadbeat ex roommate" got married this weekend, and asking if I went.
Uuh, that would be a no. Even if I'd been invited, I wouldn't have gone. I'll just simply state on this blog, as I did in my email reply, that I believe in karma. I believe, as the Beatles sang to close out the final album they ever released, that "in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make". I believe that someday, "deadbeat ex roommate" will get out of life what he deserves from it. Until that happens, I guess I just wait to spit in his coffin at the funeral. Somehow, I doubt I'll be the only one ready to hawk a loogie in his direction when that day arrives ...
steve's nba predictions
As much as I hate fall and winter due to the changing temperatures (aka "its friggin freezing outside"), it does bring with it one happy thing.
The return of basketball!
The pro version of the sport tips off tomorrow night at the Q and Staples Center. NBA 2009-2010! Yes!
In case you forgot from last fall, I accurately nailed the NBA champion for a second straight season last year, and even better, we adopted a team to support! There's still plenty of room on the Bucks bandwagon. Season for Milwaukee starts Friday in Philadelphia. Yup, I'm ready.
This figures to be a really intriguing season. As I see it, there's five teams with legitimate championship hopes (Boston, Orlando, Cleveland, LA Lakers, San Antonio). There's five more that with a break here or there, can make a run to the conference finals if not The Finals (Washington, Atlanta, Denver, Portland, Dallas).
At the bottom, you have five teams with no playoff hopes on Opening Night (New Jersey, New York, Sacramento, Minnesota, Golden State), and three more that will need acts of God to reach the playoffs (Indiana, Charlotte, Memphis). That leaves 12 teams fighting for six playoff spots. That's your intrigue. Slots 6-8 in each conference.
You also have the hanging economic collapse of the league. You have 8-10 owners right now who literally are broke thanks to the recession. You have another 2-3 owners who would sell yesterday if they could get a semi-reasonable offer. The NBA is beginning to look like Major League Baseball in the 2-3 seasons after the strike. The top teams will only get better, because they have to keep up with everyone else. You saw that this summer. The Cavs traded for Shaq, so the Magic traded for Vince Carter, and the Celtics signed "Rashweed" Wallace. The Lakers signed Ron Artest (a dumb move; I'd have kept Ariza instead, but short term it will work), so the Spurs traded for Richard Jefferson, the Blazers signed Andre Miller, and even the Hornets went out and got Emeka Okafur.
Conversely, the bottom teams will only get worse, because it makes no sense to lose money if you have no hope to win. Hence the Nets dumping Vince Carter, the Bobcats shedding Okafur, the Rockets letting Artest go, the Suns trading Shaq, and the Bucks trading Richard Jefferson and letting Ramon Sessions walk.
This is going to be one dreadful regular season for the most part ... but come the playoffs, its going to be incredible.
Here you go, my NBA season predictions.
Eastern Conference:
Atlantic Division
1. Boston Celtics.
2. Toronto Raptors.
3. Philadelphia 76ers.
4. New York Knicks.
5. New Jersey Nets.
Reasoning / Analysis: Boston is the best team in the conference on paper. They were last year too, until injuries derailed the title defense. Still, to survive Chicago and push Orlando to seven was awesome to watch. The Raptors and 76ers both figure to be in the 42-45 win range, and be first round fodder for the Big Three in the East. The Knicks are still recovering from the Isiah Thomas Error, and the Nets are in full on Tankapaloosa mode already.
Central Division
1. Cleveland Cavaliers.
2. Milwaukee Bucks.
3. Chicago Bulls.
4. Detroit Pistons.
5. Indiana Pacers.
Reasoning / Analysis: Cleveland might clinch this thing by Valentine's Day. I'll put it this way: the only way Cleveland doesn't win this division is if LBJ misses 50 games. And even then, they still probably have enough to win it. The Bucks are second by default, simply because I think having Redd and Bogut back is enough to overcome trading RJ and letting Sessions and Villanueva walk. Plus, I love Brandon Jennings. The kid is gonna be huge. Bulls, Pistons, and Pacers are all afterthoughts that won't see .500.
Southwest Division
1. Orlando Magic.
2. Washington Wizards.
3. Atlanta Hawks.
4. Miami Heat.
5. Charlotte Bobcats.
Reasoning / Analysis: I don't think this will be the cakewalk most thing it will be for Orlando. For starters, Rashard Lewis is suspended for the first 10 games for using an illegal supplement. Secondly, I think Washington will be the most improved team in the league. A healthy Arenas, Butler, and Jamison, coupled with stealing Foye and Mike Miller, and DeShawn Stevenson off the bench, with Flip Saunders coaching, they've got sleeper potential. The Hawks are a solid 45-48 win team that can play with anyone. I'm down on the Heat. Something isn't right with this team. I think its in their best interest to blow it up and start over, but Pat Riley won't do it. The Bobcats ... ugh. They really should sign Nathan Scott to play for them; he can't be any worse than half of their roster.
Playoff Teams:
1. Boston Celtics
2. Cleveland Cavaliers
3. Orlando Magic
4. Washington Wizards
5. Atlanta Hawks
6. Toronto Raptors
7. Philadelphia 76ers
8. Milwaukee Bucks
-----------------------
9. Miami Heat
10. Chicago Bulls
11. Detroit Pistons
12. New York Knicks
13. Charlotte Bobcats
14. Indiana Pacers
15. New Jersey Nets
1 Celtics over 8 Bucks 4-1
2 Cavs over 7 76ers 4-1
3 Magic over 6 Raptors 4-1
4 Wizards over 5 Hawks 4-3
1 Celtics over 4 Wizards 4-3
3 Magic over 2 Cavs 4-2
1 Celtics over 3 Magic 4-3
Eastern Conference Champion: Boston Celtics.
Western Conference:
Southwest Division
1. San Antonio Spurs.
2. Dallas Mavericks.
3. New Orleans Hornets.
4. Houston Rockets.
5. Memphis Grizzlies.
Reasoning / Analysis: Its the Spurs division to lose. And if they aren't careful, or can't avoid injuries, they might. The Mavericks and Hornets both improved enough to reach solid 50-52 win status. Then again, in the West, it might take 50 games just to get into the postseason. The Rockets are a tough read. They're well coached, have an outstanding GM, and are positioned well for the long term ... but they won't have Yao this year, and you have to figure they'll move McGrady's expiring contract at the deadline. I have Houston on the outside looking in. The Grizzlies are a mess, are horribly managed, and have arguably the worst owner in pro sports overseeing things. Good luck with that.
Northwest Division
1. Denver Nuggets.
2. Portland Trail Blazers.
3. Utah Jazz.
4. "Kevin Durant's Team".
5. Minnesota Timberwolves.
Reasoning / Analysis: flip a coin. Denver figures to take a step or three back after standing pat this offseason, but I'm always leery of teams the year after their breakthrough season, which the Blazers had last year in getting a top four seed. If both falter, Utah is still good enough to steal this division at 52, 53 wins. I am really high on "Durant's Team", and as for the Timberwolves, well ... if the Knicks are still digging out after just six years of Isiah, how long will it take to dig out of 15 years of Kevin McHale? (A while).
Pacific Division
1. Los Angeles Lakers.
2. Los Angeles Clippers.
3. Phoenix Suns.
4. Golden State Warriors.
5. Sacramento Kings.
Reasoning / Analysis: nobody other than Cleveland has an easier path to a top 3 seed than the Lakers. I have them in the 65 win range, easily winning home court in the West and throughout the playoffs as well. The Clippers are much better, but nowhere near good enough to make a run. The Suns are fading, the Warriors are a disgrace, and the Kings are at least a couple years away from returning to the solid teams they fielded in the first half of this decade.
Playoff Teams:
1. Los Angeles Lakers
2. San Antonio Spurs
3. Denver Nuggets
4. Portland Trail Blazers
5. Dallas Mavericks
6. New Orleans Hornets
7. Utah Jazz
8. "Kevin Durant's Team"
--------------------------
9. Los Angeles Clippers
10. Phoenix Suns
11. Houston Rockets
12. Memphis Grizzlies
13. Golden State Warriors
14. Minnesota Timberwolves
15. Sacramento Kings
1 Lakers over 8 "Durant's Team" 4-1
2 Spurs over 7 Jazz 4-3
6 Hornets over 3 Nuggets 4-2
5 Mavericks over 4 Blazers 4-2
1 Lakers over 6 Hornets 4-2
5 Mavericks over 2 Spurs 4-2
1 Lakers over 5 Mavericks 4-3
Western Conference Champion: Los Angeles Lakers
NBA Finals: Celtics over Lakers 4-2
NBA Champion: Boston Celtics.
The return of basketball!
The pro version of the sport tips off tomorrow night at the Q and Staples Center. NBA 2009-2010! Yes!
In case you forgot from last fall, I accurately nailed the NBA champion for a second straight season last year, and even better, we adopted a team to support! There's still plenty of room on the Bucks bandwagon. Season for Milwaukee starts Friday in Philadelphia. Yup, I'm ready.
This figures to be a really intriguing season. As I see it, there's five teams with legitimate championship hopes (Boston, Orlando, Cleveland, LA Lakers, San Antonio). There's five more that with a break here or there, can make a run to the conference finals if not The Finals (Washington, Atlanta, Denver, Portland, Dallas).
At the bottom, you have five teams with no playoff hopes on Opening Night (New Jersey, New York, Sacramento, Minnesota, Golden State), and three more that will need acts of God to reach the playoffs (Indiana, Charlotte, Memphis). That leaves 12 teams fighting for six playoff spots. That's your intrigue. Slots 6-8 in each conference.
You also have the hanging economic collapse of the league. You have 8-10 owners right now who literally are broke thanks to the recession. You have another 2-3 owners who would sell yesterday if they could get a semi-reasonable offer. The NBA is beginning to look like Major League Baseball in the 2-3 seasons after the strike. The top teams will only get better, because they have to keep up with everyone else. You saw that this summer. The Cavs traded for Shaq, so the Magic traded for Vince Carter, and the Celtics signed "Rashweed" Wallace. The Lakers signed Ron Artest (a dumb move; I'd have kept Ariza instead, but short term it will work), so the Spurs traded for Richard Jefferson, the Blazers signed Andre Miller, and even the Hornets went out and got Emeka Okafur.
Conversely, the bottom teams will only get worse, because it makes no sense to lose money if you have no hope to win. Hence the Nets dumping Vince Carter, the Bobcats shedding Okafur, the Rockets letting Artest go, the Suns trading Shaq, and the Bucks trading Richard Jefferson and letting Ramon Sessions walk.
This is going to be one dreadful regular season for the most part ... but come the playoffs, its going to be incredible.
Here you go, my NBA season predictions.
Eastern Conference:
Atlantic Division
1. Boston Celtics.
2. Toronto Raptors.
3. Philadelphia 76ers.
4. New York Knicks.
5. New Jersey Nets.
Reasoning / Analysis: Boston is the best team in the conference on paper. They were last year too, until injuries derailed the title defense. Still, to survive Chicago and push Orlando to seven was awesome to watch. The Raptors and 76ers both figure to be in the 42-45 win range, and be first round fodder for the Big Three in the East. The Knicks are still recovering from the Isiah Thomas Error, and the Nets are in full on Tankapaloosa mode already.
Central Division
1. Cleveland Cavaliers.
2. Milwaukee Bucks.
3. Chicago Bulls.
4. Detroit Pistons.
5. Indiana Pacers.
Reasoning / Analysis: Cleveland might clinch this thing by Valentine's Day. I'll put it this way: the only way Cleveland doesn't win this division is if LBJ misses 50 games. And even then, they still probably have enough to win it. The Bucks are second by default, simply because I think having Redd and Bogut back is enough to overcome trading RJ and letting Sessions and Villanueva walk. Plus, I love Brandon Jennings. The kid is gonna be huge. Bulls, Pistons, and Pacers are all afterthoughts that won't see .500.
Southwest Division
1. Orlando Magic.
2. Washington Wizards.
3. Atlanta Hawks.
4. Miami Heat.
5. Charlotte Bobcats.
Reasoning / Analysis: I don't think this will be the cakewalk most thing it will be for Orlando. For starters, Rashard Lewis is suspended for the first 10 games for using an illegal supplement. Secondly, I think Washington will be the most improved team in the league. A healthy Arenas, Butler, and Jamison, coupled with stealing Foye and Mike Miller, and DeShawn Stevenson off the bench, with Flip Saunders coaching, they've got sleeper potential. The Hawks are a solid 45-48 win team that can play with anyone. I'm down on the Heat. Something isn't right with this team. I think its in their best interest to blow it up and start over, but Pat Riley won't do it. The Bobcats ... ugh. They really should sign Nathan Scott to play for them; he can't be any worse than half of their roster.
Playoff Teams:
1. Boston Celtics
2. Cleveland Cavaliers
3. Orlando Magic
4. Washington Wizards
5. Atlanta Hawks
6. Toronto Raptors
7. Philadelphia 76ers
8. Milwaukee Bucks
-----------------------
9. Miami Heat
10. Chicago Bulls
11. Detroit Pistons
12. New York Knicks
13. Charlotte Bobcats
14. Indiana Pacers
15. New Jersey Nets
1 Celtics over 8 Bucks 4-1
2 Cavs over 7 76ers 4-1
3 Magic over 6 Raptors 4-1
4 Wizards over 5 Hawks 4-3
1 Celtics over 4 Wizards 4-3
3 Magic over 2 Cavs 4-2
1 Celtics over 3 Magic 4-3
Eastern Conference Champion: Boston Celtics.
Western Conference:
Southwest Division
1. San Antonio Spurs.
2. Dallas Mavericks.
3. New Orleans Hornets.
4. Houston Rockets.
5. Memphis Grizzlies.
Reasoning / Analysis: Its the Spurs division to lose. And if they aren't careful, or can't avoid injuries, they might. The Mavericks and Hornets both improved enough to reach solid 50-52 win status. Then again, in the West, it might take 50 games just to get into the postseason. The Rockets are a tough read. They're well coached, have an outstanding GM, and are positioned well for the long term ... but they won't have Yao this year, and you have to figure they'll move McGrady's expiring contract at the deadline. I have Houston on the outside looking in. The Grizzlies are a mess, are horribly managed, and have arguably the worst owner in pro sports overseeing things. Good luck with that.
Northwest Division
1. Denver Nuggets.
2. Portland Trail Blazers.
3. Utah Jazz.
4. "Kevin Durant's Team".
5. Minnesota Timberwolves.
Reasoning / Analysis: flip a coin. Denver figures to take a step or three back after standing pat this offseason, but I'm always leery of teams the year after their breakthrough season, which the Blazers had last year in getting a top four seed. If both falter, Utah is still good enough to steal this division at 52, 53 wins. I am really high on "Durant's Team", and as for the Timberwolves, well ... if the Knicks are still digging out after just six years of Isiah, how long will it take to dig out of 15 years of Kevin McHale? (A while).
Pacific Division
1. Los Angeles Lakers.
2. Los Angeles Clippers.
3. Phoenix Suns.
4. Golden State Warriors.
5. Sacramento Kings.
Reasoning / Analysis: nobody other than Cleveland has an easier path to a top 3 seed than the Lakers. I have them in the 65 win range, easily winning home court in the West and throughout the playoffs as well. The Clippers are much better, but nowhere near good enough to make a run. The Suns are fading, the Warriors are a disgrace, and the Kings are at least a couple years away from returning to the solid teams they fielded in the first half of this decade.
Playoff Teams:
1. Los Angeles Lakers
2. San Antonio Spurs
3. Denver Nuggets
4. Portland Trail Blazers
5. Dallas Mavericks
6. New Orleans Hornets
7. Utah Jazz
8. "Kevin Durant's Team"
--------------------------
9. Los Angeles Clippers
10. Phoenix Suns
11. Houston Rockets
12. Memphis Grizzlies
13. Golden State Warriors
14. Minnesota Timberwolves
15. Sacramento Kings
1 Lakers over 8 "Durant's Team" 4-1
2 Spurs over 7 Jazz 4-3
6 Hornets over 3 Nuggets 4-2
5 Mavericks over 4 Blazers 4-2
1 Lakers over 6 Hornets 4-2
5 Mavericks over 2 Spurs 4-2
1 Lakers over 5 Mavericks 4-3
Western Conference Champion: Los Angeles Lakers
NBA Finals: Celtics over Lakers 4-2
NBA Champion: Boston Celtics.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
hawk football: where the stevorita happens ...
To channel my inner Sports Guy, I have very few rules in life. But anytime you spend the entire 4th quarter making poop jokes, "Family Guy" references, and even haul out the Paul Bunyan joke line from "Great Outdoors", well ... this is Jayhawk Football!
Oy.
I guess I have to recap this ...
* I should have known this was going to be ugly, based on the fact that when I woke up at 8am, I looked over on the table next to the bed, saw a half-consumed screwdriver ... and immediately plowed through it. Not sipped it, not nursed it, plowed it.
* Arrived at G's around 10:30. Thankfully, he and the lovely Ashley are the most gracious hosts ever -- they just stick the bottle of Bailey's next to the coffee for you. Bon appetit!
* Speaking of bon appetit ... the breakfast burritos! Holy Lord. There are not words known to man to describe Ashley's breakfast burritos. There also are not words known to man to describe how excited I get knowing that I'm loved enough by Ashley that she cooks mine separately, to keep the dairy content to a minimum. Awesome, awesome effort.
* Apparently some good times were had by all at that little piece of heaven on unincorporated (and unpaved) 15th Street on Friday night. Probably best to leave it at that.
* Brent, Sarah, and Mark arrived next. Mark with a K. Emphasis on the K. Because apparently Marc with a C is less of a man than Mark with a K. Then again ...
* Mark! Again, I have very few rules in life, but anytime you can spend a day with a guy who states what he thinks with no filter, and has a tremendously awesome sarcastic sense of humor, I jump at that chance. Seriously, this guy was great. He's the guy who patented the "RC ... EP" chant. He's the guy who once proposed to a waitress', uuh, posterior, as it was being shoved in his face at the Outback. He's a guy who literally laid on the, uuh, "table top" at the Outback for two straight songs, just kept feeding the ones into his mouth.
I don't know how else to describe the guy, other than if you took the "best" of Steve, and the "best" of Dusty, you get Mark. Infer from that what you will. I personally loved it. I haven't had that much fun walking around in Lawrence in a long, long time.
* Had never met Sarah before, but she's a keeper. If you're the only girl in a car with me, Gregg, Brent, and Mark, and you can more than hold your own, you're beyond keeper status.
* Left for Lawrence about 10:45. There are two ways to assure you make Lawrence in under 30 minutes: (a) I drive, or (b) Brent drives. (b) came into play today.
* Thankfully, our usual parking spot was wide, wide open. 8th and Ohio rocks. Someday we need to set up tailgate there and just party on the yard.
* I have said it before, and I will say it again: Quinton's is the best bar in Lawrence. I friggin LOVE Quinton's! Just smelling the bacon potato soup bowl puts a smile on your face. (As does the $3 pint sized vodka and sprites that are almost 2/3 vodka).
* I had five vodka and sprites between Quinton's pregame and Harbor Lights post game. Total amount I spent: $0.00. I am a truly blessed man to have friends willing to pick up a tab or two. Especially since I'm flat broke at this point.
* After about 15 minutes at Quinton's, Brent's folks arrived. I love Brent's dad. Brent's mom loves me. Its always good times had by all when they show up.
* Apparently, Brent's dad is a marine biologist. Who knew? :)
* Had some solid drinking, thinking, and talking time at Quinton's. I noted about a third of the way through "dammit, I need to start bringing a recorder to remember all this stuff for the recap". Unfortunately, I was a psychic there. I don't remember a lot of it, other than the "lightning round". It was 12:53, and we wanted to be out the door for the game by 1pm at the latest. (We had stops to make on the way in). So Mark orders another round for the table. I pound the vodka and sprite in about 3 minutes flat, and had two different people ask me "you didn't get another one"? Uuh, yeah, I did. As the breathalyzer later on proved.
* After saying some temporary goodbyes, it was off to Gameday in Lawrence! Which led to hilarious moment of the day numero uno. Some kid comes flying around the corner on 8th, right before Ohio, I mean sprinting. He looks like he's fleeing the cops or something. Instead, he takes a quick right into the back alley, and immediately begins, uuh, relieving himself. This wasn't a "I can wait in line for the port-a-potty, no rush" kind of pee. This was a full on "I'm sprinting for the alley and please, Jesus, let me make it before I erupt" kind of pee. Hilarious to witness. As usual, Mark had some great quips ready for the poor kid. I just wish I could remember them.
* After dropping some stuff off at the car and picking up one (not quite) magical item, it was off to ... well, the next stop on the Magical Mystery Tour. Jensen Liquors. Sadly, no doggie in the window yet again. After dropping a few dollars at that fine establishment, the walk to Memorial Stadium was on!
* No bees this week at 10th and Mississippi in the bushes there. That was nice.
* Decided to head in the gate in section 15, rather than the usual entrance at what used to be section 47. (I think its 30 now. I know its in the low 30s). I surveyed the landscape, picked the far left line with a hot chick scanning tickets, figuring I could at least try to charm her into letting the yute ticket get through. Hilariously, as luck would have it, the two guys in front of me, both about my age, were using yute tickets. She scanned those suckers like a pro. Along with mine.
* Considering we didn't arrive until barely 50 minutes before kickoff, the seats could not possibly have been better. Section 21, Row 51. (Basically visitors side of the field, 45 yard line).
* Face value on the ticket for today's game? $90. Cost of season tickets for us per person? $105. Someday, the visiting teams fans are gonna wise up, buy the Perkins Family Pack like we do, and scalp off the tickets they don't want and possibly turn a profit. (I can't take credit for this common sense thought, Gregg came up with it).
* Consensus of the group: had KU won, rushing the field and chucking the goalpost(s) in Potter Lake was perfectly acceptable. Unfortunately, KU's offense chose to take the day off to deny us that opportunity.
* Very, very disappointing that at least one parachuter didn't have ksu colors. Booing the ksu colored parachuter is tradition, dammit.
* Then again, I congratulate not just the fans (who booed the guy mercilessly), but also KU administration and the PA guy, for giving the halftime hamster roll deal to the kid that didn't cheat. That was great to see. On the other hand, when a hamster ball race with a couple students is the highlight of the game, its probably best to move on.
* Good Ol' JR! Anytime you can attend a sporting event where "Heisman Trophy Winner Sam Bradford" spends half the game talking to WWE announcer (and friggin awesome icon) Jim Ross, you have to do it.
* And by "Heisman Trophy Winner Sam Bradford", well, ask Mark to explain to you how he taught Sammy to play craps. It's certainly a helluva lot cooler than that night in March 1999 when I played blackjack with Joey Fatone of *NSYNC. (But Joey was awesome; multiple rounds for the table, he knew what he was doing, and best of all, we all left up money. I miss Harvey's Casino).
* I am certainly no expert on Jayhawk Football (I defer to my fellow STH's) ... but that was the most pro-KU filled up Memorial Stadium I have ever seen. The fans were fired up and ready. Too bad we basically decided to take a whiz at midfield instead of fighting for a win.
* The one drawback to Mark, and I emphasize its his only drawback that I see ... he LOVED "Sunflower Song". Gregg and Brent, of course, played this up for all its worth, even having him capture multiple formations of said sunflower on camera. Sorry, I don't care how much I get made fun of for it, "Sunflower Song" sucks ass.
* Sign numero dos it wasn't gonna be a good day: Reesing's first pass was horribly underthrown, and OU picked it off. Not exactly how you like to script the start of a game.
* Speaking of signs it wasn't going to be our day: the magical item, the wizardry, the special article of clothing, just bombed. Yup, Brent brought the Jayhawk Snuggie! I gotta admit, after wearing it for a quarter ... that thing is damned warm. I might need to invest in one before the Nebraska game.
* The first moment I thought we had a chance: replay overturned an OU touchdown after that opening INT. OU had 1st and goal at the (literally) 8 inch line. First down, Jones up the middle. No gain. Second down, Jones up the middle, no gain. Third down, OU RB (Murray didn't play) pitch right, loss of two. That fourth down play, was the loudest I have ever heard Memorial Stadium. Sadly, OU scored on a great inside trap play. But the D showed up today. You can't pin this loss on KU's defense. They fought for every inch.
* The Reesing Pick 6 ... or TaINT ... was both a great play by OU's cornerback, and a TURRIBLE underthrow by Reesing. I don't know what was wrong with Todd today. Maybe he was intimidated facing OU. (Which makes no sense; he threw for 440 in Norman last year in a tough loss). Maybe the offensive gameplan handicapped him (we didn't throw it deeper than 15 yards until late in the 3rd quarter). Maybe he's sick, hurt, or in some form of non-playing mode. But Reesing stunk up the joint today. He was ... well, TURRIBLE.
* And yet, KU only trailed 14-6 at the half, thanks to a jaw-dropping Jacob Brandstetter FG from 57 as time expired. To recap it: OU had 4th and like 5 at their own 35. Up 14-3, about 1:55 to go. I argued to Brent and everyone else around me "go after the punt!" KU sent three ... and one sorta kinda got through. Enough that OU's punter dropped the snap. And promptly got tackled, to temporarily keep hope alive.
* What sucked though, were the two tools in front of us, who were complaining that (a) KU wisely bled the clock to :02 remaining, and (b) KU didn't try the Hail Mary from the OU 39. The wind was horrific today, but if you had it at your back, you were good from 60 plus. That Brandstetter FG was good from 65. He had a sh*t ton of room to spare.
* I'd be lying if I said I knew what the Pride of Kansas performed at halftime. We were too busy trading off between corny jokes, and ripping the two idiots in front of us who were hacked at Reesing and Mangino, to such a degree that it wasn't just frustration, it was hatred. Really guys? You wouldn't be sitting there if both weren't on this team. I hate bandwagon fans that are completely ignorant. Again, I defer to my fellow STH's, because I didn't go to KU. But I've attended pretty much every game in that stadium since I moved back here in 1999. I'm pretty damned sure, by this point, I know just about all the "regulars" in our area of the student section. I'm pretty sure Gregg and Brent do too. You see the same folks every week, every year. These morons I'd never seen before. Thankfully, Gregg gave them some, uuh, "advice" on how to spend their evening together, and it rhymes with "buck boo".
* What I found most interesting about the game entering the second half? There was no sense of panic or fear in the crowd. I think most of the 51,404 that attended thought the same thing as me. "Once Reesing finds the end zone, it'll open the floodgates". Holy crap was I wrong.
* The third quarter ... seriously, if you're an aspiring coach trying to rise through the ranks. If you're an OU fan. If you're a fan of football in general. Just replay OU in the third quarter on Saturday. It was a friggin clinic in how to win a football game. As much as I hated it live, it was just jaw-dropping awesome to witness. This was beyond a woodshed beating of a quarter. This was ... this was Bob Stoops humiliating his opponent.
* After that horrendous third quarter, the fourth quarter was pretty much spent "old school KU Football style". Which meant me, Gregg and Brent cracking jokes, stupid "Family Guy" references, a few "Great Outdoors" blasts, anything for a laugh. Eventually the poop jokes started making the rounds. Hey, when you're down 29 at home, you gotta find entertainment somewhere.
* Left after the game, and shockingly, did not stop at the Burrito King. I was absolutely stunned by that development. But there was a good reason why. Because ...
* (bruce hornsby and the range voice) Let's all go down to the Harbor Lights! Hadn't been to that bar in a while. And I gotta say, its possibly Lawrence's most underrated drinking establishment. Wound up spending a solid hour and a half in that joint. Met back up with Brent's folks, met some friends of theirs, Gregg's in-laws and a few other assorted relatives made it, just good times with good people over good libations. That's all you can ask for on a Saturday, I think.
* Lots of pics taken at Harbor Lights. Mark and Sarah started going camera crazy. Got a nice shot of the "four and a half pack" laid out on the pool table. Got some nice group poses. And of course, one for the ages. Steve and Rita making out. (cougar voice) grrrrrr ...
(Somehow, I'm guessing Brent doesn't find this as funny as everyone else does. But come on man, your mom effing rocks! You gotta love Rita).
* the drive home? Sugarland. Ugh. Look it, Jennifer Nettles is hot as hell, and yes, their music is decent, but I am not a country music fan. Plus, as good as her cover of "Come On Get Higher" is, the best part of the song, she butchers. (I see angels and devils and God when you come! ... on, hold on, hold on ...) Matt Nathanson just nails that part of it. (Which he should, considering its his song). She just doesn't get it. But that's ok.
* Anything I forgot, there's a comments section on this thing for a reason. Now its regroup for Chiefs football time. Good God, another day of this, Gregg, Brent, Steve and Mark with quips, one-liners, and completely inappropriate jokes that bring the house down. Damn I love football ...
Oy.
I guess I have to recap this ...
* I should have known this was going to be ugly, based on the fact that when I woke up at 8am, I looked over on the table next to the bed, saw a half-consumed screwdriver ... and immediately plowed through it. Not sipped it, not nursed it, plowed it.
* Arrived at G's around 10:30. Thankfully, he and the lovely Ashley are the most gracious hosts ever -- they just stick the bottle of Bailey's next to the coffee for you. Bon appetit!
* Speaking of bon appetit ... the breakfast burritos! Holy Lord. There are not words known to man to describe Ashley's breakfast burritos. There also are not words known to man to describe how excited I get knowing that I'm loved enough by Ashley that she cooks mine separately, to keep the dairy content to a minimum. Awesome, awesome effort.
* Apparently some good times were had by all at that little piece of heaven on unincorporated (and unpaved) 15th Street on Friday night. Probably best to leave it at that.
* Brent, Sarah, and Mark arrived next. Mark with a K. Emphasis on the K. Because apparently Marc with a C is less of a man than Mark with a K. Then again ...
* Mark! Again, I have very few rules in life, but anytime you can spend a day with a guy who states what he thinks with no filter, and has a tremendously awesome sarcastic sense of humor, I jump at that chance. Seriously, this guy was great. He's the guy who patented the "RC ... EP" chant. He's the guy who once proposed to a waitress', uuh, posterior, as it was being shoved in his face at the Outback. He's a guy who literally laid on the, uuh, "table top" at the Outback for two straight songs, just kept feeding the ones into his mouth.
I don't know how else to describe the guy, other than if you took the "best" of Steve, and the "best" of Dusty, you get Mark. Infer from that what you will. I personally loved it. I haven't had that much fun walking around in Lawrence in a long, long time.
* Had never met Sarah before, but she's a keeper. If you're the only girl in a car with me, Gregg, Brent, and Mark, and you can more than hold your own, you're beyond keeper status.
* Left for Lawrence about 10:45. There are two ways to assure you make Lawrence in under 30 minutes: (a) I drive, or (b) Brent drives. (b) came into play today.
* Thankfully, our usual parking spot was wide, wide open. 8th and Ohio rocks. Someday we need to set up tailgate there and just party on the yard.
* I have said it before, and I will say it again: Quinton's is the best bar in Lawrence. I friggin LOVE Quinton's! Just smelling the bacon potato soup bowl puts a smile on your face. (As does the $3 pint sized vodka and sprites that are almost 2/3 vodka).
* I had five vodka and sprites between Quinton's pregame and Harbor Lights post game. Total amount I spent: $0.00. I am a truly blessed man to have friends willing to pick up a tab or two. Especially since I'm flat broke at this point.
* After about 15 minutes at Quinton's, Brent's folks arrived. I love Brent's dad. Brent's mom loves me. Its always good times had by all when they show up.
* Apparently, Brent's dad is a marine biologist. Who knew? :)
* Had some solid drinking, thinking, and talking time at Quinton's. I noted about a third of the way through "dammit, I need to start bringing a recorder to remember all this stuff for the recap". Unfortunately, I was a psychic there. I don't remember a lot of it, other than the "lightning round". It was 12:53, and we wanted to be out the door for the game by 1pm at the latest. (We had stops to make on the way in). So Mark orders another round for the table. I pound the vodka and sprite in about 3 minutes flat, and had two different people ask me "you didn't get another one"? Uuh, yeah, I did. As the breathalyzer later on proved.
* After saying some temporary goodbyes, it was off to Gameday in Lawrence! Which led to hilarious moment of the day numero uno. Some kid comes flying around the corner on 8th, right before Ohio, I mean sprinting. He looks like he's fleeing the cops or something. Instead, he takes a quick right into the back alley, and immediately begins, uuh, relieving himself. This wasn't a "I can wait in line for the port-a-potty, no rush" kind of pee. This was a full on "I'm sprinting for the alley and please, Jesus, let me make it before I erupt" kind of pee. Hilarious to witness. As usual, Mark had some great quips ready for the poor kid. I just wish I could remember them.
* After dropping some stuff off at the car and picking up one (not quite) magical item, it was off to ... well, the next stop on the Magical Mystery Tour. Jensen Liquors. Sadly, no doggie in the window yet again. After dropping a few dollars at that fine establishment, the walk to Memorial Stadium was on!
* No bees this week at 10th and Mississippi in the bushes there. That was nice.
* Decided to head in the gate in section 15, rather than the usual entrance at what used to be section 47. (I think its 30 now. I know its in the low 30s). I surveyed the landscape, picked the far left line with a hot chick scanning tickets, figuring I could at least try to charm her into letting the yute ticket get through. Hilariously, as luck would have it, the two guys in front of me, both about my age, were using yute tickets. She scanned those suckers like a pro. Along with mine.
* Considering we didn't arrive until barely 50 minutes before kickoff, the seats could not possibly have been better. Section 21, Row 51. (Basically visitors side of the field, 45 yard line).
* Face value on the ticket for today's game? $90. Cost of season tickets for us per person? $105. Someday, the visiting teams fans are gonna wise up, buy the Perkins Family Pack like we do, and scalp off the tickets they don't want and possibly turn a profit. (I can't take credit for this common sense thought, Gregg came up with it).
* Consensus of the group: had KU won, rushing the field and chucking the goalpost(s) in Potter Lake was perfectly acceptable. Unfortunately, KU's offense chose to take the day off to deny us that opportunity.
* Very, very disappointing that at least one parachuter didn't have ksu colors. Booing the ksu colored parachuter is tradition, dammit.
* Then again, I congratulate not just the fans (who booed the guy mercilessly), but also KU administration and the PA guy, for giving the halftime hamster roll deal to the kid that didn't cheat. That was great to see. On the other hand, when a hamster ball race with a couple students is the highlight of the game, its probably best to move on.
* Good Ol' JR! Anytime you can attend a sporting event where "Heisman Trophy Winner Sam Bradford" spends half the game talking to WWE announcer (and friggin awesome icon) Jim Ross, you have to do it.
* And by "Heisman Trophy Winner Sam Bradford", well, ask Mark to explain to you how he taught Sammy to play craps. It's certainly a helluva lot cooler than that night in March 1999 when I played blackjack with Joey Fatone of *NSYNC. (But Joey was awesome; multiple rounds for the table, he knew what he was doing, and best of all, we all left up money. I miss Harvey's Casino).
* I am certainly no expert on Jayhawk Football (I defer to my fellow STH's) ... but that was the most pro-KU filled up Memorial Stadium I have ever seen. The fans were fired up and ready. Too bad we basically decided to take a whiz at midfield instead of fighting for a win.
* The one drawback to Mark, and I emphasize its his only drawback that I see ... he LOVED "Sunflower Song". Gregg and Brent, of course, played this up for all its worth, even having him capture multiple formations of said sunflower on camera. Sorry, I don't care how much I get made fun of for it, "Sunflower Song" sucks ass.
* Sign numero dos it wasn't gonna be a good day: Reesing's first pass was horribly underthrown, and OU picked it off. Not exactly how you like to script the start of a game.
* Speaking of signs it wasn't going to be our day: the magical item, the wizardry, the special article of clothing, just bombed. Yup, Brent brought the Jayhawk Snuggie! I gotta admit, after wearing it for a quarter ... that thing is damned warm. I might need to invest in one before the Nebraska game.
* The first moment I thought we had a chance: replay overturned an OU touchdown after that opening INT. OU had 1st and goal at the (literally) 8 inch line. First down, Jones up the middle. No gain. Second down, Jones up the middle, no gain. Third down, OU RB (Murray didn't play) pitch right, loss of two. That fourth down play, was the loudest I have ever heard Memorial Stadium. Sadly, OU scored on a great inside trap play. But the D showed up today. You can't pin this loss on KU's defense. They fought for every inch.
* The Reesing Pick 6 ... or TaINT ... was both a great play by OU's cornerback, and a TURRIBLE underthrow by Reesing. I don't know what was wrong with Todd today. Maybe he was intimidated facing OU. (Which makes no sense; he threw for 440 in Norman last year in a tough loss). Maybe the offensive gameplan handicapped him (we didn't throw it deeper than 15 yards until late in the 3rd quarter). Maybe he's sick, hurt, or in some form of non-playing mode. But Reesing stunk up the joint today. He was ... well, TURRIBLE.
* And yet, KU only trailed 14-6 at the half, thanks to a jaw-dropping Jacob Brandstetter FG from 57 as time expired. To recap it: OU had 4th and like 5 at their own 35. Up 14-3, about 1:55 to go. I argued to Brent and everyone else around me "go after the punt!" KU sent three ... and one sorta kinda got through. Enough that OU's punter dropped the snap. And promptly got tackled, to temporarily keep hope alive.
* What sucked though, were the two tools in front of us, who were complaining that (a) KU wisely bled the clock to :02 remaining, and (b) KU didn't try the Hail Mary from the OU 39. The wind was horrific today, but if you had it at your back, you were good from 60 plus. That Brandstetter FG was good from 65. He had a sh*t ton of room to spare.
* I'd be lying if I said I knew what the Pride of Kansas performed at halftime. We were too busy trading off between corny jokes, and ripping the two idiots in front of us who were hacked at Reesing and Mangino, to such a degree that it wasn't just frustration, it was hatred. Really guys? You wouldn't be sitting there if both weren't on this team. I hate bandwagon fans that are completely ignorant. Again, I defer to my fellow STH's, because I didn't go to KU. But I've attended pretty much every game in that stadium since I moved back here in 1999. I'm pretty damned sure, by this point, I know just about all the "regulars" in our area of the student section. I'm pretty sure Gregg and Brent do too. You see the same folks every week, every year. These morons I'd never seen before. Thankfully, Gregg gave them some, uuh, "advice" on how to spend their evening together, and it rhymes with "buck boo".
* What I found most interesting about the game entering the second half? There was no sense of panic or fear in the crowd. I think most of the 51,404 that attended thought the same thing as me. "Once Reesing finds the end zone, it'll open the floodgates". Holy crap was I wrong.
* The third quarter ... seriously, if you're an aspiring coach trying to rise through the ranks. If you're an OU fan. If you're a fan of football in general. Just replay OU in the third quarter on Saturday. It was a friggin clinic in how to win a football game. As much as I hated it live, it was just jaw-dropping awesome to witness. This was beyond a woodshed beating of a quarter. This was ... this was Bob Stoops humiliating his opponent.
* After that horrendous third quarter, the fourth quarter was pretty much spent "old school KU Football style". Which meant me, Gregg and Brent cracking jokes, stupid "Family Guy" references, a few "Great Outdoors" blasts, anything for a laugh. Eventually the poop jokes started making the rounds. Hey, when you're down 29 at home, you gotta find entertainment somewhere.
* Left after the game, and shockingly, did not stop at the Burrito King. I was absolutely stunned by that development. But there was a good reason why. Because ...
* (bruce hornsby and the range voice) Let's all go down to the Harbor Lights! Hadn't been to that bar in a while. And I gotta say, its possibly Lawrence's most underrated drinking establishment. Wound up spending a solid hour and a half in that joint. Met back up with Brent's folks, met some friends of theirs, Gregg's in-laws and a few other assorted relatives made it, just good times with good people over good libations. That's all you can ask for on a Saturday, I think.
* Lots of pics taken at Harbor Lights. Mark and Sarah started going camera crazy. Got a nice shot of the "four and a half pack" laid out on the pool table. Got some nice group poses. And of course, one for the ages. Steve and Rita making out. (cougar voice) grrrrrr ...
(Somehow, I'm guessing Brent doesn't find this as funny as everyone else does. But come on man, your mom effing rocks! You gotta love Rita).
* the drive home? Sugarland. Ugh. Look it, Jennifer Nettles is hot as hell, and yes, their music is decent, but I am not a country music fan. Plus, as good as her cover of "Come On Get Higher" is, the best part of the song, she butchers. (I see angels and devils and God when you come! ... on, hold on, hold on ...) Matt Nathanson just nails that part of it. (Which he should, considering its his song). She just doesn't get it. But that's ok.
* Anything I forgot, there's a comments section on this thing for a reason. Now its regroup for Chiefs football time. Good God, another day of this, Gregg, Brent, Steve and Mark with quips, one-liners, and completely inappropriate jokes that bring the house down. Damn I love football ...
Friday, October 23, 2009
the week seven predictions
For anyone who needs a pick-me-up, I give you THE highlight from the last Chiefs season worth a damn, also the last time we beat San Diego at home. Joe Nedney. Hero extrodinaire.
Or as I remember it ...
(Oh, and if you missed my point-on spot analysis of how huge, how absolutely hu-yuge, tomorrow's game in Lawrence is, just scroll down to the next post ... or click here ... because yeah, tomorrow is arguably THE single biggest day in Jayhawk Football history ...)
----------------
Last Week SU: 8-6-0.
Season to Date SU: 54-36-0.
Last Week ATS: 8-6-0.
Season to Date ATS: 45-47-0.
Last Week Upset / Week: seriously, God must really hate me.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 4-2, W3 (all denver).
This Week's Upset / Week: I am picking this straight based on Wayne Allyn Root principles. Redskins (+7) over Eagles.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* at Texans (-3) 31, 49ers 20.
* Patriots 28, Bucs (+14 1/2) 20 (in London).
* Colts (-13) 34, at Rams 3.
* at Steelers (-4) 31, Vikings 20.
* Packers (-7) 34, Browns 13.
* at Panthers 27, Bills (+7) 24.
* at raiders (+6) 17, Jets 13.
* Bears (+1 1/2) 31, at Bengals 20.
* at Cowboys (-4) 28, Falcons 20.
* Saints (-6 1/2) 34, at Dolphins 13.
* at Redskins (+7) 13, Eagles 10.
The Chiefs Prediction:
I'm not gonna lie ... I can't guarantee my presence on Sunday.
If the current forecast (49 and rain) holds, I won't show up. I spent all last week in bed, puking my guts out. I refuse to put myself in a position to do that again.
Having said that ...
The last time the Chiefs beat the Chargers in Kansas City ... I accurately nailed the Tynes last second field goal for the win. Its the "prediction" that put me on the map. (Or, more accurately, its the prediction that Damien emailed to several other people with a "holy sh*t he got it!" message attached. Although to be fair, my follow-up pick of a Chiefs last second win over oakland via a Jarrad Page end zone INT probably sealed my 2006 Nostradamus status ...)
Anyways, the last time we beat San Diego here, both teams made the playoffs. This time, neither team looks likely to make it. (Although I still think the winner Sunday will give denver a run for the Western Division title).
My good friend Kellie sent me an email earlier today, simply entitled "Got a minute to talk?" I immediately panicked. Usually, when you get an email that contains that phrase, one of two things is coming your way. (a) Bad news, or (b) Horrible news.
Considering she's dating my co-best friend, I prepped for the worst.
Only, her "inquiry" was simply to urge me to dress better, show up Sunday, and "send philip rivers ass back to san diego with a loss!" If she's on our side ... and considering she's the sole reason I'm betting the family inheritance on denver every week at this point ... well ...
Send his ass home with a loss!
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 26, Chargers 20. 2-5 at the bye isn't great. Especially when we should be 4-3. But when your next two are Jacksonville and oakland again ... well ... no 0-5 team has ever rallied to make the playoffs ... but eventually one has to, right? Right? (kellie voice) dammit Steve! That's not why I want you to show up and root like holy hell for a Chiefs win ...
Or as I remember it ...
(Oh, and if you missed my point-on spot analysis of how huge, how absolutely hu-yuge, tomorrow's game in Lawrence is, just scroll down to the next post ... or click here ... because yeah, tomorrow is arguably THE single biggest day in Jayhawk Football history ...)
----------------
Last Week SU: 8-6-0.
Season to Date SU: 54-36-0.
Last Week ATS: 8-6-0.
Season to Date ATS: 45-47-0.
Last Week Upset / Week: seriously, God must really hate me.
Season to Date Upset / Week: 4-2, W3 (all denver).
This Week's Upset / Week: I am picking this straight based on Wayne Allyn Root principles. Redskins (+7) over Eagles.
The Non-Chiefs Predictions:
* at Texans (-3) 31, 49ers 20.
* Patriots 28, Bucs (+14 1/2) 20 (in London).
* Colts (-13) 34, at Rams 3.
* at Steelers (-4) 31, Vikings 20.
* Packers (-7) 34, Browns 13.
* at Panthers 27, Bills (+7) 24.
* at raiders (+6) 17, Jets 13.
* Bears (+1 1/2) 31, at Bengals 20.
* at Cowboys (-4) 28, Falcons 20.
* Saints (-6 1/2) 34, at Dolphins 13.
* at Redskins (+7) 13, Eagles 10.
The Chiefs Prediction:
I'm not gonna lie ... I can't guarantee my presence on Sunday.
If the current forecast (49 and rain) holds, I won't show up. I spent all last week in bed, puking my guts out. I refuse to put myself in a position to do that again.
Having said that ...
The last time the Chiefs beat the Chargers in Kansas City ... I accurately nailed the Tynes last second field goal for the win. Its the "prediction" that put me on the map. (Or, more accurately, its the prediction that Damien emailed to several other people with a "holy sh*t he got it!" message attached. Although to be fair, my follow-up pick of a Chiefs last second win over oakland via a Jarrad Page end zone INT probably sealed my 2006 Nostradamus status ...)
Anyways, the last time we beat San Diego here, both teams made the playoffs. This time, neither team looks likely to make it. (Although I still think the winner Sunday will give denver a run for the Western Division title).
My good friend Kellie sent me an email earlier today, simply entitled "Got a minute to talk?" I immediately panicked. Usually, when you get an email that contains that phrase, one of two things is coming your way. (a) Bad news, or (b) Horrible news.
Considering she's dating my co-best friend, I prepped for the worst.
Only, her "inquiry" was simply to urge me to dress better, show up Sunday, and "send philip rivers ass back to san diego with a loss!" If she's on our side ... and considering she's the sole reason I'm betting the family inheritance on denver every week at this point ... well ...
Send his ass home with a loss!
at Chiefs (+4 1/2) 26, Chargers 20. 2-5 at the bye isn't great. Especially when we should be 4-3. But when your next two are Jacksonville and oakland again ... well ... no 0-5 team has ever rallied to make the playoffs ... but eventually one has to, right? Right? (kellie voice) dammit Steve! That's not why I want you to show up and root like holy hell for a Chiefs win ...
why saturday matters
"You know, when you get old in life,
Things get taken from you. That's part of life.
But you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
"You find out that life is a game of inches.
So is football. Because in either game,
Life or football, the margin for error is so small.
"I mean, one half step too late or too early,
You don't quite make it. One half second too slow or too fast,
And you don't quite catch it.
"The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in every break of the game,
Every minute, every second.
"On this team, we fight for that inch!
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us,
To pieces for that inch! We claw with our finger nails for that inch!
"Cause we know, when we add up all those inches,
That's going to make the f*cking difference between winning and losing.
Between living and dying.
"I'll tell you this -- in any fight,
It is the guy who is willing to die,
Who is going to win that inch.
"And I know, if I am going to have any life anymore,
It is because I am still willing to fight and die for that inch!
Because that's what living is! The six inches in front of your face!
"Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes.
Now I think you are gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you.
"You are going to see a guy, who will sacrifice himself for this team.
Because he knows when it comes down to it,
You're gonna do the same thing for him.
"That's a team, gentlemen.
And either we heal now, as a team,
Or we will die as individuals.
"That's football, guys.
That's all there is.
Now what are you gonna do?"
-- "Inches" speech by Al Pacino in "Any Given Sunday".
------------------------------
In sports, as with a lot of things in life, every so often you reach a moment that defines an era, so to speak.
In life, these moments aren't always easy to see. Like in a relationship, for example. At what moment do you go from being "friends" to something more? Is the defining moment the first time she says yes to staying the night? The first time you do something other than sleep when she stays over? Or is it the first time you meet in person and realize there's an attraction there? Is it the first time you meet her parents? The first time you introduce her to your friends?
Confusing stuff to an easily confusable guy like me.
But in sports, I argue, these moments aren't all that confusing. And they're usually obvious to anyone who pays attention.
I bring this up because I believe tomorrow, Kansas Jayhawks football, and the man responsible for how far its come so far, face their defining moment.
The achievements Coach Mangino has done in Lawrence are inspiring. When he arrived in 2002, Hawk Football was a regional joke. (I'd say it was a national joke as well, but KU was so awful that nobody outside of the Midwest paid any attention to it.) Consider the ugly facts. KU hadn't posted a winning season since 1995. Had only been to two bowls in the prior 20 years, both appearances in the lower-tiered Aloha Bowl. The Hawks had had exactly one player drafted in the first round in the previous 20 years (Dana Stubblefield, who went 26th to the 49ers in 1993). And the recruiting was abysmal, as there was little to no talent on the roster. And to add the "whiz on a man while he's down" element to the cesspool of crap that was the Terry Allen Jayhawks, the one stud recruit in the last decade who actually wanted to play at Kansas, was told that he wasn't wanted. That stud recruit? Darren Sproles. Who only helped lead Kansas State to two North titles and a Big XII championship. (Yeah, he wouldn't have helped at all.)
The facilities were a joke. There was no athletic complex. The practice field, if you could call it that, was a disgrace. Memorial Stadium itself was without question the worst stadium in the Big XII. The restrooms routinely lacked functioning plumbing. The turf was stretched thread-bare. There were no suites, no screens capable of playing television replay, and you feared for your life standing on the benches -- at least one every week would crack and break, which inevitably led to that row carrying the bench out of the stadium to its new home in a frat house somewhere. This was Hawk Football when Coach Mangino arrived. An embarrassment, to say the least.
2002 was every bit the disaster you'd expect. Winless in conference play, 2-10 overall. But 2003, you started to get a glimpse into what could be. KU upset a ranked Missouri team in late September, setting the table for a 6-6 season that landed us in the Tangerine Bowl against NC State. It was the Hawks first win over a ranked opponent since 1997. 2004 saw a step back in the record, but saw KU take a ranked Texas Tech team to the wire, saw KU nearly beat Texas, finally beat Kansas State for the first time in 12 years, and upset MU in Columbia to cost the Tigers a bowl bid. The Hawks were getting closer to being relevant.
2005 saw more baby steps -- a close loss to OU at Arrowhead, wins over Nebraska and Missouri, a bowl victory over Houston in the Fort Worth bowl. 2006 saw the Hawks beat a ranked non-conference opponent in South Florida. 2007 of course was the best year in Hawk Football history so far, a 12-1 record, an Orange Bowl win over Virginia Tech, road wins at A&M (when they were still decent) and Oklahoma State, the "Don't Stop Believin'" moment to close out the home schedule after blasting Iowa State ... but KU lost the biggest game it played. And by "lost", I mean "wasn't even remotely competitive for 50 plus minutes". 2008 saw KU again hang tough with the good teams, again beat both hated rivals, and win a third bowl in four years.
There's no denying that Coach Mangino has built a solid foundation. KU Football is now established as a legitimate middle of the pack team. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you'd told me 5 years ago that KU would arrive at a Michigan State / Oregon State / Arkansas / NC State / Pitt level of competence, I'd have been thrilled. 7 wins and the Insight Bowl most years, with the occasional 9 wins and a Holiday / Cotton bowl berth, and if everything breaks right with the schedule (like in 2007), a 10-11 win BCS bowl berth? I'd take that in a heartbeat. So would any other KU fan.
But that just brings us to Saturday. To the defining moment of the Coach Mangino era.
To the one thing KU has yet to do.
Beat the big boy(s) on the block.
Yes, I know KU has won a BCS bowl in the last five years. But Virginia Tech, as good as they are, is not a national championship threat. And hasn't been since Michael Vick was under center. Yes, I know KU has won 3 bowls in four years, hasn't posted a losing season since 2004, has won 20 of 23 at home, and has beaten both of its hated rivals four of the last five times they've faced them.
Yes, the facilities are improved, there's a legitimate practice field, an athletic complex, the Ward Scholarship Suites on the west side of the stadium, and the Gridiron Club suites going up on the east. Brand new field turf, new uniforms, a kick ass video board, electronic signage in the north end zone, and KU has sold out virtually every home game going back to early 2007. I get all that.
But KU is still 0 for the Big Two in the Big XII.
As Ric Flair used to say, "to be the man ... WOOOOOO ... you gotta beat the man!"
Glen Mason accomplished a lot of good in his tenure as Jayhawks coach. A 10 win season, multiple bowls, a plus .500 record. And his defining moment arrived late in 1995, as the #10 ranked 8-1 Jayhawks hosted the #1 ranked and defending national champion Nebraska Cornhuskers. A win would validate KU's rise through the rankings. It would put a serious dent in Nebraska's drive to repeat as national champions. It would, in a word, "legitimize" Jayhawk Football.
Nebraska 41, Kansas 3. Within a year of getting routed in his defining moment game, Glen Mason left KU for a second time (he tried to flee to Georgia after the 1995 season, but decided to return instead ... only to then leave for Minnesota), the Hawks hired Terry Allen, and a decade of god-awful football was born.
Saturday, I believe, is THE defining moment of Coach Mangino's career. This is it. He is a solid head coach, a phenomenal offensive mind. His recruiting skills are rock solid. He hires smart, competent assistants and then lets them do their job. I cannot heap enough praise on Coach for all he has accomplished so far.
Saturday, however, we find out what the future holds for Jayhawk Football. Because if KU cannot win this game, in this spot, with all these circumstances and injuries and various other factors, if KU cannot win THIS game at THIS point in time, they NEVER will. Not under this coach, anyways.
Whether it be in life, or in sports, moments like this simply do not come along very much. Whatever happens Saturday, Kansas Football will permanently change. An OU win will simply confirm what many already believe. That KU is a nice story, and a competitive team, but they're not to be feared. An OU win Saturday reinforces the idea that KU is a junior partner in this league, that the North division is the ugly stepchild, that no matter how hard Coach Mangino or AD Perkins or the fans and the players try, KU simply will never attain the ultimate success in this sport.
With a win Saturday, however, every preconceived notion of Jayhawks Football gets tossed in the recycle bin. Because with a win Saturday, Jayhawk Football arrives as a legitimate national power, as a legitimate threat to win the Big XII. With a win Saturday, KU announces to the nation that we can beat anyone. Not just the teams we're supposed to beat, not just the teams on an even par with us. We can beat ANYONE.
Last Saturday was a tough, heartbreaking defeat. But it wasn't a defining moment. It wasn't a game that could change the perception of the program, it wasn't a game that people will look back on in five years and say "that's where it all started", or "that's where it all fell apart".
This week, this game, however, is.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Go KU!
Things get taken from you. That's part of life.
But you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
"You find out that life is a game of inches.
So is football. Because in either game,
Life or football, the margin for error is so small.
"I mean, one half step too late or too early,
You don't quite make it. One half second too slow or too fast,
And you don't quite catch it.
"The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in every break of the game,
Every minute, every second.
"On this team, we fight for that inch!
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us,
To pieces for that inch! We claw with our finger nails for that inch!
"Cause we know, when we add up all those inches,
That's going to make the f*cking difference between winning and losing.
Between living and dying.
"I'll tell you this -- in any fight,
It is the guy who is willing to die,
Who is going to win that inch.
"And I know, if I am going to have any life anymore,
It is because I am still willing to fight and die for that inch!
Because that's what living is! The six inches in front of your face!
"Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes.
Now I think you are gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you.
"You are going to see a guy, who will sacrifice himself for this team.
Because he knows when it comes down to it,
You're gonna do the same thing for him.
"That's a team, gentlemen.
And either we heal now, as a team,
Or we will die as individuals.
"That's football, guys.
That's all there is.
Now what are you gonna do?"
-- "Inches" speech by Al Pacino in "Any Given Sunday".
------------------------------
In sports, as with a lot of things in life, every so often you reach a moment that defines an era, so to speak.
In life, these moments aren't always easy to see. Like in a relationship, for example. At what moment do you go from being "friends" to something more? Is the defining moment the first time she says yes to staying the night? The first time you do something other than sleep when she stays over? Or is it the first time you meet in person and realize there's an attraction there? Is it the first time you meet her parents? The first time you introduce her to your friends?
Confusing stuff to an easily confusable guy like me.
But in sports, I argue, these moments aren't all that confusing. And they're usually obvious to anyone who pays attention.
I bring this up because I believe tomorrow, Kansas Jayhawks football, and the man responsible for how far its come so far, face their defining moment.
The achievements Coach Mangino has done in Lawrence are inspiring. When he arrived in 2002, Hawk Football was a regional joke. (I'd say it was a national joke as well, but KU was so awful that nobody outside of the Midwest paid any attention to it.) Consider the ugly facts. KU hadn't posted a winning season since 1995. Had only been to two bowls in the prior 20 years, both appearances in the lower-tiered Aloha Bowl. The Hawks had had exactly one player drafted in the first round in the previous 20 years (Dana Stubblefield, who went 26th to the 49ers in 1993). And the recruiting was abysmal, as there was little to no talent on the roster. And to add the "whiz on a man while he's down" element to the cesspool of crap that was the Terry Allen Jayhawks, the one stud recruit in the last decade who actually wanted to play at Kansas, was told that he wasn't wanted. That stud recruit? Darren Sproles. Who only helped lead Kansas State to two North titles and a Big XII championship. (Yeah, he wouldn't have helped at all.)
The facilities were a joke. There was no athletic complex. The practice field, if you could call it that, was a disgrace. Memorial Stadium itself was without question the worst stadium in the Big XII. The restrooms routinely lacked functioning plumbing. The turf was stretched thread-bare. There were no suites, no screens capable of playing television replay, and you feared for your life standing on the benches -- at least one every week would crack and break, which inevitably led to that row carrying the bench out of the stadium to its new home in a frat house somewhere. This was Hawk Football when Coach Mangino arrived. An embarrassment, to say the least.
2002 was every bit the disaster you'd expect. Winless in conference play, 2-10 overall. But 2003, you started to get a glimpse into what could be. KU upset a ranked Missouri team in late September, setting the table for a 6-6 season that landed us in the Tangerine Bowl against NC State. It was the Hawks first win over a ranked opponent since 1997. 2004 saw a step back in the record, but saw KU take a ranked Texas Tech team to the wire, saw KU nearly beat Texas, finally beat Kansas State for the first time in 12 years, and upset MU in Columbia to cost the Tigers a bowl bid. The Hawks were getting closer to being relevant.
2005 saw more baby steps -- a close loss to OU at Arrowhead, wins over Nebraska and Missouri, a bowl victory over Houston in the Fort Worth bowl. 2006 saw the Hawks beat a ranked non-conference opponent in South Florida. 2007 of course was the best year in Hawk Football history so far, a 12-1 record, an Orange Bowl win over Virginia Tech, road wins at A&M (when they were still decent) and Oklahoma State, the "Don't Stop Believin'" moment to close out the home schedule after blasting Iowa State ... but KU lost the biggest game it played. And by "lost", I mean "wasn't even remotely competitive for 50 plus minutes". 2008 saw KU again hang tough with the good teams, again beat both hated rivals, and win a third bowl in four years.
There's no denying that Coach Mangino has built a solid foundation. KU Football is now established as a legitimate middle of the pack team. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you'd told me 5 years ago that KU would arrive at a Michigan State / Oregon State / Arkansas / NC State / Pitt level of competence, I'd have been thrilled. 7 wins and the Insight Bowl most years, with the occasional 9 wins and a Holiday / Cotton bowl berth, and if everything breaks right with the schedule (like in 2007), a 10-11 win BCS bowl berth? I'd take that in a heartbeat. So would any other KU fan.
But that just brings us to Saturday. To the defining moment of the Coach Mangino era.
To the one thing KU has yet to do.
Beat the big boy(s) on the block.
Yes, I know KU has won a BCS bowl in the last five years. But Virginia Tech, as good as they are, is not a national championship threat. And hasn't been since Michael Vick was under center. Yes, I know KU has won 3 bowls in four years, hasn't posted a losing season since 2004, has won 20 of 23 at home, and has beaten both of its hated rivals four of the last five times they've faced them.
Yes, the facilities are improved, there's a legitimate practice field, an athletic complex, the Ward Scholarship Suites on the west side of the stadium, and the Gridiron Club suites going up on the east. Brand new field turf, new uniforms, a kick ass video board, electronic signage in the north end zone, and KU has sold out virtually every home game going back to early 2007. I get all that.
But KU is still 0 for the Big Two in the Big XII.
As Ric Flair used to say, "to be the man ... WOOOOOO ... you gotta beat the man!"
Glen Mason accomplished a lot of good in his tenure as Jayhawks coach. A 10 win season, multiple bowls, a plus .500 record. And his defining moment arrived late in 1995, as the #10 ranked 8-1 Jayhawks hosted the #1 ranked and defending national champion Nebraska Cornhuskers. A win would validate KU's rise through the rankings. It would put a serious dent in Nebraska's drive to repeat as national champions. It would, in a word, "legitimize" Jayhawk Football.
Nebraska 41, Kansas 3. Within a year of getting routed in his defining moment game, Glen Mason left KU for a second time (he tried to flee to Georgia after the 1995 season, but decided to return instead ... only to then leave for Minnesota), the Hawks hired Terry Allen, and a decade of god-awful football was born.
Saturday, I believe, is THE defining moment of Coach Mangino's career. This is it. He is a solid head coach, a phenomenal offensive mind. His recruiting skills are rock solid. He hires smart, competent assistants and then lets them do their job. I cannot heap enough praise on Coach for all he has accomplished so far.
Saturday, however, we find out what the future holds for Jayhawk Football. Because if KU cannot win this game, in this spot, with all these circumstances and injuries and various other factors, if KU cannot win THIS game at THIS point in time, they NEVER will. Not under this coach, anyways.
Whether it be in life, or in sports, moments like this simply do not come along very much. Whatever happens Saturday, Kansas Football will permanently change. An OU win will simply confirm what many already believe. That KU is a nice story, and a competitive team, but they're not to be feared. An OU win Saturday reinforces the idea that KU is a junior partner in this league, that the North division is the ugly stepchild, that no matter how hard Coach Mangino or AD Perkins or the fans and the players try, KU simply will never attain the ultimate success in this sport.
With a win Saturday, however, every preconceived notion of Jayhawks Football gets tossed in the recycle bin. Because with a win Saturday, Jayhawk Football arrives as a legitimate national power, as a legitimate threat to win the Big XII. With a win Saturday, KU announces to the nation that we can beat anyone. Not just the teams we're supposed to beat, not just the teams on an even par with us. We can beat ANYONE.
Last Saturday was a tough, heartbreaking defeat. But it wasn't a defining moment. It wasn't a game that could change the perception of the program, it wasn't a game that people will look back on in five years and say "that's where it all started", or "that's where it all fell apart".
This week, this game, however, is.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Go KU!
Monday, October 19, 2009
the fake mailbag 5.0
* "You feelin' ok?" -- numerous folks last week.
Yes, I am now. That was the worst bout of flu I've had in at least four years. I thought Monday I was just recovering from the Cowboys defeat. By Tuesday, I knew better. I didn't leave the bedroom from Wednesday night until Saturday afternoon.
But thankfully, much better now. (Whew).
* "Seriously, not drinking at bowling night? No wonder you opened with a 61!" -- Dusty J, Overland Park.
In my defense, you saw me, and you know my throwing motion. It literally hurt to walk down the steps, let alone to compose myself, take three steps, and twist that bad boy at a 6 degree angle at 17 miles per hour.
* "Ignore him, Dusty forgets his unfortunate night of margaritas from last season." -- Kellie B, Kansas City.
In his defense, if I'd had three pitchers before bowling, and a couple after I arrived, I'd forget every damned detail about the night as well. But he was right about one thing -- I can't bowl if I ain't drinkin'. We'll rectify that on Wednesday.
* "I know you're down on the show, but come on man, you HAVE to love the intro to 'The Cleveland Show'!" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Oh hell yes I do! Remember that whole rant I had last year about how the reason sitcoms have died is because they no longer have memorable theme songs? (I swear, its in there, near the 2/3 mark).
Well, someone at FOX listened to me. Because this theme song is just awesome. It takes the best of our childhood (psychadelic colors from the producers being strung out on God knows what, cheezy music, ridiculous rhymes), and just nails it. Absolutely nails it.
(And last week's episode was pretty damned good as well. I'm telling you, that bear grows on you ...)
* "No quarter year review? What the hell?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
One of the drawbacks to being sick. You don't feel like doing anything. However, I will simply say this: Todd Haley is in farther over his head at this point, than Gunther was. And unlike with Gun, I don't hold out hope for a turnaround.
Gun opened with a tough road loss, then won 9 out of 13 to put the Chiefs in position to win the division. Included in that 9 was a sweep of the two time defending world champion (thanks to circumventing the salary cap) denver broncos; a win in the Bay against our other hated rival; a win in Baltimore, a last second win over New England, a last second win over a Minnesota team that went 26-6 in 1998-1999; and a pole-axing of the Steelers. My way of saying ...
If Todd Haley wins three more games this year, I'll be shocked. And if Coach Haley ever wants me on his side, he damned well better have December 6th circled, highlighted, and marked with a "win or resign" memo on the calendar. I can forgive a rebuilding year. I can't forgive incompetence. Or losing to denver. Say what you want about Gun ... he NEVER lost to denver as a head coach.
* "Is it possible to have a ALCS game last less than five hours?" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No. Which is why baseball is bleeding viewers faster than Obama is losing support for health care reform. Myself being one of them; if I wanted to watch a double switch every five minutes and managers second and triple guess themselves, I'd be a Cardinals fan and wear a "LaRussa is God" t-shirt.
* "We're almost a month and a half in. What's your TV viewing schedule look like?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Actually, I gotta say, this year's crop of new shows has been pleasantly surprising. And my two favorite shows won't return to network TV until January! (And add to that, I'm really loving the promos for "V".) Good grief, what am I gonna trim from the TiVo rotation?
The five best new or "completely revamped" shows this fall:
5. "Melrose Place". Not gonna lie, I've been disappointed with it so far. But the last few weeks, you can tell they're just treading water until Amanda comes back, which I'm fine with. And there's enough decent new characters to keep me hooked for another month. But man, there's a few that need to go. Not a fan of Riley, at all. Not really a fan of Jonah either, but at least he might eventually be shockingly corruptable. (That, and I really liked Michael Rady in "Swingtown", so I'll give him a shot to grow on me). And please, more Michael Mancini! So far, a B-. With a shot to elevate rapidly if they play Emma off Amanda well.
4. "The Good Wife". I loved the pilot. And this show's been growing on me ever since. I just don't see how this show can last more than a year or two before you run out of places to take it. What happens once Chris Noth's DA gone bad character gets out of jail? He can't get his job back even if he wins the appeal. And you can't have Julianna Margolies' character go back to home life, that destroys the show. Still, I'll give it a while and see where it goes, its been solid so far.
3. "Modern Family". Best new comedy to hit the airwaves in a long, long time. Glad to see Ed O'Neill back in peak form. Dylan's song last week, "In the Moonlight", will have you crying from laughing so hard. Sadly, the Hulu link expires in two days, but just watch the whole episode instead when the clip expires -- its worth it for Shelley Long's "incident" at her ex's O'Neill's wedding.
2. "FlashForward". My favorite new show to hit the air since a little piece of heaven I like to call "Friday Night Lights". Well written, outstanding plotlines so far, and while I fear the premise can't last unless they establish a "Lost" type certified ending date ... I friggin love the premise and can't wait to see how it plays out. (Also gotta love Jack Davenport as the catalyst to everything so far, another "Swingtown" alumnus. Screw you CBS for cancelling that fine hour of television excellence).
But one show has stood out above all others ...
1. "90210". Holy crap, talk about a show that's done a 180 from last year. I don't know who they hauled in to write this thing, but thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Everything has clicked so far this year, even the annoying Teddy. Silver and Dixon hitting the rocks, and Dixon rebounding with a 30 year old who still can't resist the booty call even after she figures out he's 17 when his mom tells her. Nice. I needed a hookup or three like that back in the day.
Navid finally gets some, only Ade leaves him for Teddy because ... well, not really sure why, because Teddy annoys me. Love how Naomi still thinks Liam slept with Annie ... only he actually bagged her sister, who's stealing thousands upon thousands of dollars from her via this shady divorce. Love how dark Annie's gotten, can't wait to see how shady stalker Jasper drags her even deeper into the dark. And the sext, nice, good stuff. And anything with Silver, good God. That girl is so damned hot. I literally start drooling when she graces my TV screen with her presence. (Wait, did I just say that out loud?)
And how anyone within 5 years of my actual age can't get to about 7:10 CT every Tuesday, and hear the familiar "da da da da!" as a modern version of the "90210" theme song plays, and not smile, and remember the "hell yes, I'm Jim effing Walsh" smile, well, I don't know how you can't do that.
* "So you backed Hillary, and voted McCain. You admit that you despise Obama. Your thoughts on him at the nearly 10 month mark?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
Well, let's see. He claimed Afghanistan was the necessary war, but he won't fight it. (Although in his defense, I think he realizes he was wrong about Afghanistan, that its completely unwinnable, and he's trying to find a way out without looking like a liar). He rammed through the stimulus bill (which I supported), but hasn't spent 88% of the money yet, so forget job creation in 2009. He's bombing out on the civil rights issue of our generation (equality for gays), and he claims everyone who opposes him is racially motivated (which is utterly absurd).
He demands health care reform (good), but refuses to endorse the sole solution that can actually drive down costs (the public option). He for some reason refuses to condemn evil in the world (Iran, Syria, the PLO, Venezuela), unless its named ("barry gibb talk show" voice) J J J J Jimmy Carter! P P P P Peanut Farmer!
He makes an ass of himself in Copenhagen and tries to steal the Olympics in 2016, yet won't make an ass of himself and try to steal a World Cup in 2018 (so far at least). He'll drink beer with a cop who thinks before he acts, yet condemns a news network that employs the ultimate "spit out what you think regardless of the facts" journalist in Sean Hannity. (Wait, I got no complaints here).
Bottom line? He's an average, middle of the road President who hasn't screwed up something awful yet, but also hasn't left his mark. Smells like a C to me. I'm fine with a C. Nothing wrong with being average.
* "You're coming for a BuKCs game, right?" -- Brooke B, Milwaukee.
Yup, I'll be there January 30 for Miami. Reserve our spots at the Friday Night fish fry at either Rock Bottom or Lakefront anytime you want.
* "We're exactly one week from NBA Tipoff 2009! You gotta be pumped!" -- Drew K, Shawnee.
Buddy, as one of the three NBA addicts in this town (along with you and Brent), I am beyond pumped. I love all these "experts" picking the BuKCs to finish dead last in the East. Last time I checked, Charlotte still played in the East. Ditto Indiana. And Milwaukee actually gains players this year, in that we didn't have Redd after December 10th, we didn't have Bogut after mid January, and we gained Brandon Jennings. Yeah, losing Sessions (retarded decision not to match the Wolves offer for him) and trading Jefferson (smart move to get below the tax threshold) hurts, but again, its the Eastern Conference! Someone is getting in at 37-45 or worse. At least one team. Possibly four.
(NBA preview coming early next week).
* "No KU recap last week? What the hell?" -- Brian G, Quahog.
Yeah, I effed up on that. To be honest, I was going to do it Tuesday, only that's when my health went from bad to defcon 3. And at this point, I don't remember a lot about the ISU game, so we'll let it slide. Everyone is entitled to one do-over in life, right? I'll take my 1,015,269th on this one.
* "The 30 at 30 series, you like it?" -- Josh G, Los Angeles.
Yes. Its totally screwed up my Tuesdays at this point. And I couldn't be happier.
I watch "90210" live and I TiVo "NCIS" on the main TV. So I have to TiVo "30 at 30" in the bedroom. I recorded the first one figuring I'd fall asleep to it. Instead, I haven't shut my eyes before midnight on a Tuesday in a few weeks. This series is beyond riveting television.
The Colts band episode was epic. The USFL episode tonight looks amazing. But the Gretzky trade, that was as good an hour of television as I've watched since HBO's special on the 1980 US Hockey team, which is the gold medal winner of sports documentaries. I couldn't stop watching. I forget if it was Peter Berg (the director) or the Sports Guy (the producer) who noted this on their podcast, but its amazing that the rigging behind the scenes to get this deal to go down, to open up the Sun Belt and the Southwest to hockey, and to see it happen ... is the single biggest reason why the NHL is no longer relevant in the national landscape of sports. (Because outside of Dallas, Raleigh, and possibly San Jose, nobody in the Sun Belt or the Southwest gives a damn about hockey. Yet 40% of the franchises are located there, as a direct result of this trade).
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Gretzky puts LA on the map for hockey. A decade later, there's 12 teams south of the Mason Dixon line. Not even half of them are viable as franchises today. (Reason 1,009,928,105 why Gary Bettman is the worst commissioner in the history of organized sports).
* "What's the single biggest thing in sports that hacks you off?" -- Scott H, Liberty.
What, I'm limited to just one? I hate Bird Exemption in the NBA. I hate the fact that there's 12 teams in the Southern US, and only 6 in all of Canada, in hockey. I hate $9.75 vodka tonics at Arrowhead. I hate the idiot fans who buy into this "small market" garbage in baseball. (If you can't compete on a $75 million payroll, you have no business running a team. None.)
But my biggest hack off? Folks who knock the BCS. No, its not a perfect system. Hell, its probably not even a good one. But how can you not love what it delivers every week?
You want a playoff in college football? You've got one! Every week! Its the purest of all sports ideals: if you win, you advance. You survive. Every week is its own playoff. Sure, the "best" teams in the "best conferences" have a slight margin for error. Sometimes.
I love March Madness as much as anyone. But I love Fall Madness even more. Every damned game matters. Can't say that about college hoops. Or any other sport for that matter.
* "I liked the podcast! Way to post it 10 months late!" -- Chris N, Olathe.
Yeah, I liked it too. I'd like it better as a "free flowing conversation between friends that occasionally touches on mature subjects", but these things are harder than they look. For one thing, you can't f*ck up. You do, you start over, unless its a group deal and then you just go with the flow. I initially tried to do this to comment on the Cowboys game, only my irrational hatred of a certain Chiefs head coach kept shining through. So I figured I'd start with the picks and see where this goes.
OK, one final question, "90210" awaits in 22 minutes ...
* "What's your favorite website you're digging right now?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
Well, the usual suspects (Hulu, Facebook, "reputable singles site", my various fantasy football teams), but I came across one at work that I am absolutely addicted to.
Labelscar. As someone who spent every night this spring and summer walking past the destruction of Bannister Mall as I attempted to get in shape via the nightly walk / jog, this site just fascinated me.
Seriously, just spend 5 minutes searching this site, and tell me its not as addictive as Ashley's breakfast burritos, Dusty's chicken fajitas (the most underrated thing he cooks), or my vodka tonics poolside in mid July. There's even a case study on why every mall in Kansas City is bombing out, save for two.
And with that, the fake 'bag 5.0 is out. It wasn't funny, it wasn't provocative, but hopefully you'll check out some links and have a nice way to waste your next workday when you check this place out.
Yes, I am now. That was the worst bout of flu I've had in at least four years. I thought Monday I was just recovering from the Cowboys defeat. By Tuesday, I knew better. I didn't leave the bedroom from Wednesday night until Saturday afternoon.
But thankfully, much better now. (Whew).
* "Seriously, not drinking at bowling night? No wonder you opened with a 61!" -- Dusty J, Overland Park.
In my defense, you saw me, and you know my throwing motion. It literally hurt to walk down the steps, let alone to compose myself, take three steps, and twist that bad boy at a 6 degree angle at 17 miles per hour.
* "Ignore him, Dusty forgets his unfortunate night of margaritas from last season." -- Kellie B, Kansas City.
In his defense, if I'd had three pitchers before bowling, and a couple after I arrived, I'd forget every damned detail about the night as well. But he was right about one thing -- I can't bowl if I ain't drinkin'. We'll rectify that on Wednesday.
* "I know you're down on the show, but come on man, you HAVE to love the intro to 'The Cleveland Show'!" -- Brent S, Roeland Park.
Oh hell yes I do! Remember that whole rant I had last year about how the reason sitcoms have died is because they no longer have memorable theme songs? (I swear, its in there, near the 2/3 mark).
Well, someone at FOX listened to me. Because this theme song is just awesome. It takes the best of our childhood (psychadelic colors from the producers being strung out on God knows what, cheezy music, ridiculous rhymes), and just nails it. Absolutely nails it.
(And last week's episode was pretty damned good as well. I'm telling you, that bear grows on you ...)
* "No quarter year review? What the hell?" -- Gregg G, Bonner Springs.
One of the drawbacks to being sick. You don't feel like doing anything. However, I will simply say this: Todd Haley is in farther over his head at this point, than Gunther was. And unlike with Gun, I don't hold out hope for a turnaround.
Gun opened with a tough road loss, then won 9 out of 13 to put the Chiefs in position to win the division. Included in that 9 was a sweep of the two time defending world champion (thanks to circumventing the salary cap) denver broncos; a win in the Bay against our other hated rival; a win in Baltimore, a last second win over New England, a last second win over a Minnesota team that went 26-6 in 1998-1999; and a pole-axing of the Steelers. My way of saying ...
If Todd Haley wins three more games this year, I'll be shocked. And if Coach Haley ever wants me on his side, he damned well better have December 6th circled, highlighted, and marked with a "win or resign" memo on the calendar. I can forgive a rebuilding year. I can't forgive incompetence. Or losing to denver. Say what you want about Gun ... he NEVER lost to denver as a head coach.
* "Is it possible to have a ALCS game last less than five hours?" -- Phil S, Overland Park.
No. Which is why baseball is bleeding viewers faster than Obama is losing support for health care reform. Myself being one of them; if I wanted to watch a double switch every five minutes and managers second and triple guess themselves, I'd be a Cardinals fan and wear a "LaRussa is God" t-shirt.
* "We're almost a month and a half in. What's your TV viewing schedule look like?" -- Frank L, Dallas.
Actually, I gotta say, this year's crop of new shows has been pleasantly surprising. And my two favorite shows won't return to network TV until January! (And add to that, I'm really loving the promos for "V".) Good grief, what am I gonna trim from the TiVo rotation?
The five best new or "completely revamped" shows this fall:
5. "Melrose Place". Not gonna lie, I've been disappointed with it so far. But the last few weeks, you can tell they're just treading water until Amanda comes back, which I'm fine with. And there's enough decent new characters to keep me hooked for another month. But man, there's a few that need to go. Not a fan of Riley, at all. Not really a fan of Jonah either, but at least he might eventually be shockingly corruptable. (That, and I really liked Michael Rady in "Swingtown", so I'll give him a shot to grow on me). And please, more Michael Mancini! So far, a B-. With a shot to elevate rapidly if they play Emma off Amanda well.
4. "The Good Wife". I loved the pilot. And this show's been growing on me ever since. I just don't see how this show can last more than a year or two before you run out of places to take it. What happens once Chris Noth's DA gone bad character gets out of jail? He can't get his job back even if he wins the appeal. And you can't have Julianna Margolies' character go back to home life, that destroys the show. Still, I'll give it a while and see where it goes, its been solid so far.
3. "Modern Family". Best new comedy to hit the airwaves in a long, long time. Glad to see Ed O'Neill back in peak form. Dylan's song last week, "In the Moonlight", will have you crying from laughing so hard. Sadly, the Hulu link expires in two days, but just watch the whole episode instead when the clip expires -- its worth it for Shelley Long's "incident" at her ex's O'Neill's wedding.
2. "FlashForward". My favorite new show to hit the air since a little piece of heaven I like to call "Friday Night Lights". Well written, outstanding plotlines so far, and while I fear the premise can't last unless they establish a "Lost" type certified ending date ... I friggin love the premise and can't wait to see how it plays out. (Also gotta love Jack Davenport as the catalyst to everything so far, another "Swingtown" alumnus. Screw you CBS for cancelling that fine hour of television excellence).
But one show has stood out above all others ...
1. "90210". Holy crap, talk about a show that's done a 180 from last year. I don't know who they hauled in to write this thing, but thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Everything has clicked so far this year, even the annoying Teddy. Silver and Dixon hitting the rocks, and Dixon rebounding with a 30 year old who still can't resist the booty call even after she figures out he's 17 when his mom tells her. Nice. I needed a hookup or three like that back in the day.
Navid finally gets some, only Ade leaves him for Teddy because ... well, not really sure why, because Teddy annoys me. Love how Naomi still thinks Liam slept with Annie ... only he actually bagged her sister, who's stealing thousands upon thousands of dollars from her via this shady divorce. Love how dark Annie's gotten, can't wait to see how shady stalker Jasper drags her even deeper into the dark. And the sext, nice, good stuff. And anything with Silver, good God. That girl is so damned hot. I literally start drooling when she graces my TV screen with her presence. (Wait, did I just say that out loud?)
And how anyone within 5 years of my actual age can't get to about 7:10 CT every Tuesday, and hear the familiar "da da da da!" as a modern version of the "90210" theme song plays, and not smile, and remember the "hell yes, I'm Jim effing Walsh" smile, well, I don't know how you can't do that.
* "So you backed Hillary, and voted McCain. You admit that you despise Obama. Your thoughts on him at the nearly 10 month mark?" -- Damien J, Midtown.
Well, let's see. He claimed Afghanistan was the necessary war, but he won't fight it. (Although in his defense, I think he realizes he was wrong about Afghanistan, that its completely unwinnable, and he's trying to find a way out without looking like a liar). He rammed through the stimulus bill (which I supported), but hasn't spent 88% of the money yet, so forget job creation in 2009. He's bombing out on the civil rights issue of our generation (equality for gays), and he claims everyone who opposes him is racially motivated (which is utterly absurd).
He demands health care reform (good), but refuses to endorse the sole solution that can actually drive down costs (the public option). He for some reason refuses to condemn evil in the world (Iran, Syria, the PLO, Venezuela), unless its named ("barry gibb talk show" voice) J J J J Jimmy Carter! P P P P Peanut Farmer!
He makes an ass of himself in Copenhagen and tries to steal the Olympics in 2016, yet won't make an ass of himself and try to steal a World Cup in 2018 (so far at least). He'll drink beer with a cop who thinks before he acts, yet condemns a news network that employs the ultimate "spit out what you think regardless of the facts" journalist in Sean Hannity. (Wait, I got no complaints here).
Bottom line? He's an average, middle of the road President who hasn't screwed up something awful yet, but also hasn't left his mark. Smells like a C to me. I'm fine with a C. Nothing wrong with being average.
* "You're coming for a BuKCs game, right?" -- Brooke B, Milwaukee.
Yup, I'll be there January 30 for Miami. Reserve our spots at the Friday Night fish fry at either Rock Bottom or Lakefront anytime you want.
* "We're exactly one week from NBA Tipoff 2009! You gotta be pumped!" -- Drew K, Shawnee.
Buddy, as one of the three NBA addicts in this town (along with you and Brent), I am beyond pumped. I love all these "experts" picking the BuKCs to finish dead last in the East. Last time I checked, Charlotte still played in the East. Ditto Indiana. And Milwaukee actually gains players this year, in that we didn't have Redd after December 10th, we didn't have Bogut after mid January, and we gained Brandon Jennings. Yeah, losing Sessions (retarded decision not to match the Wolves offer for him) and trading Jefferson (smart move to get below the tax threshold) hurts, but again, its the Eastern Conference! Someone is getting in at 37-45 or worse. At least one team. Possibly four.
(NBA preview coming early next week).
* "No KU recap last week? What the hell?" -- Brian G, Quahog.
Yeah, I effed up on that. To be honest, I was going to do it Tuesday, only that's when my health went from bad to defcon 3. And at this point, I don't remember a lot about the ISU game, so we'll let it slide. Everyone is entitled to one do-over in life, right? I'll take my 1,015,269th on this one.
* "The 30 at 30 series, you like it?" -- Josh G, Los Angeles.
Yes. Its totally screwed up my Tuesdays at this point. And I couldn't be happier.
I watch "90210" live and I TiVo "NCIS" on the main TV. So I have to TiVo "30 at 30" in the bedroom. I recorded the first one figuring I'd fall asleep to it. Instead, I haven't shut my eyes before midnight on a Tuesday in a few weeks. This series is beyond riveting television.
The Colts band episode was epic. The USFL episode tonight looks amazing. But the Gretzky trade, that was as good an hour of television as I've watched since HBO's special on the 1980 US Hockey team, which is the gold medal winner of sports documentaries. I couldn't stop watching. I forget if it was Peter Berg (the director) or the Sports Guy (the producer) who noted this on their podcast, but its amazing that the rigging behind the scenes to get this deal to go down, to open up the Sun Belt and the Southwest to hockey, and to see it happen ... is the single biggest reason why the NHL is no longer relevant in the national landscape of sports. (Because outside of Dallas, Raleigh, and possibly San Jose, nobody in the Sun Belt or the Southwest gives a damn about hockey. Yet 40% of the franchises are located there, as a direct result of this trade).
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Gretzky puts LA on the map for hockey. A decade later, there's 12 teams south of the Mason Dixon line. Not even half of them are viable as franchises today. (Reason 1,009,928,105 why Gary Bettman is the worst commissioner in the history of organized sports).
* "What's the single biggest thing in sports that hacks you off?" -- Scott H, Liberty.
What, I'm limited to just one? I hate Bird Exemption in the NBA. I hate the fact that there's 12 teams in the Southern US, and only 6 in all of Canada, in hockey. I hate $9.75 vodka tonics at Arrowhead. I hate the idiot fans who buy into this "small market" garbage in baseball. (If you can't compete on a $75 million payroll, you have no business running a team. None.)
But my biggest hack off? Folks who knock the BCS. No, its not a perfect system. Hell, its probably not even a good one. But how can you not love what it delivers every week?
You want a playoff in college football? You've got one! Every week! Its the purest of all sports ideals: if you win, you advance. You survive. Every week is its own playoff. Sure, the "best" teams in the "best conferences" have a slight margin for error. Sometimes.
I love March Madness as much as anyone. But I love Fall Madness even more. Every damned game matters. Can't say that about college hoops. Or any other sport for that matter.
* "I liked the podcast! Way to post it 10 months late!" -- Chris N, Olathe.
Yeah, I liked it too. I'd like it better as a "free flowing conversation between friends that occasionally touches on mature subjects", but these things are harder than they look. For one thing, you can't f*ck up. You do, you start over, unless its a group deal and then you just go with the flow. I initially tried to do this to comment on the Cowboys game, only my irrational hatred of a certain Chiefs head coach kept shining through. So I figured I'd start with the picks and see where this goes.
OK, one final question, "90210" awaits in 22 minutes ...
* "What's your favorite website you're digging right now?" -- Brett H, Harrisonville.
Well, the usual suspects (Hulu, Facebook, "reputable singles site", my various fantasy football teams), but I came across one at work that I am absolutely addicted to.
Labelscar. As someone who spent every night this spring and summer walking past the destruction of Bannister Mall as I attempted to get in shape via the nightly walk / jog, this site just fascinated me.
Seriously, just spend 5 minutes searching this site, and tell me its not as addictive as Ashley's breakfast burritos, Dusty's chicken fajitas (the most underrated thing he cooks), or my vodka tonics poolside in mid July. There's even a case study on why every mall in Kansas City is bombing out, save for two.
And with that, the fake 'bag 5.0 is out. It wasn't funny, it wasn't provocative, but hopefully you'll check out some links and have a nice way to waste your next workday when you check this place out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
“I don't have to be anything other Than the birth of two souls in one. Part of where I'm going? Is knowing where I'm coming f...
-
I can be a strange person at times. I know, I know, that's a shocking statement. You can pick your jaws up off the floor now. But I ce...
-
Peter Griffin: "Look at these idiots! They're not even listening! You know what? We got to prove it to them! I'm gonna go i...